Pam

[Hawkman]

Pam is a true trail blazer for economy motoring - Sancho Panzer... Berlin to Warsaw with one tank!

[papayahed]

PAM makes all his clothes from socks he's stolen from other people.

[Hawkman]

Doesn't everyone?

Pam preserves the victims of her cooking in a large (and overstuffed) chest freezer in her basement....

[papayahed]

PAM likes to be called Whiskers and wears catnip suits so cats will follow him around town.

[Hawkman]

Aparently, Pam thinks that other people wear catnip socks! Think about it! If this is the case, Whiskers will have to compete with the entire population of the planet for the attention of cats... Incidentally, Pam is wanted by the DEA for dealing in catnip.

[papayahed]

PAM eats his boogers.

[Hawkman]

Pam eats kittens and coughs up hairballs.

[papayahed]

PAM has posters of One Direction and Justin Beiber in his apartment.

[Hawkman]

Pam eats poodles with chilli sauce when she can't get kittens

[papayahed]

PAM has an imaginary pet goose named Fabriana.

[Hawkman]

So what's wrong with that? Fabriana is nice name...

Pam thinks Horatio from CSI Miami is cool, whereas any normal human being regards him as being seriously creepy!

[papayahed]

I love me some ginger!

PAM has Dr. Who bed sheets and night light.

[Hawkman]

Pam finds prospective exes at the Piggly Wiggly and reserves places for them in a clearing in the woods

[papayahed]

PAM is anxiously awaiting his squirrel costume so he can try to become one of the pack.

[Sancho]

Pam once tried to 'splain the second law of thermodynamics to, Sadi, her labradooldle.

[Hawkman]

Pam likes to amuse himself at weekends by parading around his house in a home-made Godzilla suit.

[Sancho]

Pam harvests hair from his own back to weave gorilla suits for underprivileged children.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Royt, so, here's me all confused, loyk. Oy've been starin' at this thread for quite some toym, wonderin' if there's a real person named Pam, or if he/she is a fictitious person who someone made up so's we can be all insultin' about her, loyk. Oy'm thinkin' it's the latter, at the moment, but please someone confirm it so's Oy can get to the slander and heresy, loyk the rest of ya's.

[The Comedian]

Hey PAM! If clickin' "first" is confusin' to ya, then yous got to be re-learnin' how to find the ol' directions. . .

[Sancho]

Pam's not very funny. Make me laugh, funny man.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pam's not very funny. Make me laugh, funny man.

Who, me? I would, but Pam's threatened the integrity of my dangly bits if I crack wise.

[papayahed]

PAM's mom knits little jackets for his tail.

[Hawkman]

Pam has a thriving rodent combing business with franchises in sewers world wide!

[Tyrion Cheddar]

"Pam" is Estonian for cooking pan spray.

[tonywalt]

PAM is a popular in Latvia.

[papayahed]

PAM only wears orange.

[Hawkman]

Pam sleeps in a rabbit hutch

[papayahed]

PAM puts cheese on his cheese.

[tonywalt]

PAM walks around at work air-drumming, and doesnt care.

[Hawkman]

Pam wears bone nasal jewellery and has eaten all his neighbours.

[Sancho]

Pam eats primarily rodents, but insist they taste like chicken.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Curiously, Pam insists he never eats chicken.

[Sancho]

Pam reeks of Old Spice and Crawfish Étouffée.

[Hawkman]

Pam has trained a ferret to give Donald Trump a blowjob

[tonywalt]

PAM once punched a hipster

[Hawkman]

Pam sold the moon to Donald Trump

[YesNo]

PAM continues the old PAM thread.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

I know, right? Can you believe what a Pam he is?

[YesNo]

It looks like we are all PAMs.

[papayahed]

PAM thinks the moon is made of cheese.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam still uses the old Pam thread.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pam sprays Pam on his pans.

[Hawkman]

Pookahs and shrivelled ugly monkeys are Pam's raison d'être; the result of the illicit union of walrus and penguin.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

One is grateful to Pam for causing one to look up the name pooka, for in doing so one read 'the mere sight of it may prevent hens laying their eggs or cows giving milk,' thus confirming to one the true nature of our next president.

[papayahed]

PAM collects pokemon keychains

[Pompey Bum]

Pam falls down sewer drains crying, "Why, Pokemon, why?"

[papayahed]

PAM wears white socks with black shoes.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam gets emotional when ice cubes melt. The little guys were just doing their job. :bawling:

[Sancho]

Pam unabashedly hurtles himself down rabbit holes in pursuit of the ever-more elusive intellectual satisfaction that he craves and which explains, in no small measure, the bunny suit that he sports.

[Hawkman]

Pam wears a tricorn hat cobbled together from hamsters' foreskins.

[papayahed]

PAM only wears orange.

[Hawkman]

Pam has a green left foot and a red right foot. This means Pam gets run over by boats unless Pam is swimming backwards. To compensate for this, Pam wears crash helmets made out of empty tortoise shells.

[tonywalt]

PAM discards apples but eats the seeds, saying, "they're better than peanuts hands down, anyday!"

[Hawkman]

Pam only eats endangered species

[papayahed]

PAM only reads pop-up books.

[Hawkman]

Pam only reads pop-up people.

[papayahed]

PAM displays his ear wax collection on his mantle.

[Hawkman]

Pam's mantle is a shrine to the Donald with a signed photo at its heart.

[papayahed]

Alternative Fact!!!!

PAM has a SCROTUS blow up doll.

[Hawkman]

Pam is Scrooge McDuck's 2nd cousin and has been removed many times...

[papayahed]

PAM has a minion outfit he wears on weekends.

[Hawkman]

Pam obviously spends too much time watching CCTV!

[papayahed]

PAM smells like pickles.

[Hawkman]

Pam purrs, when stroked, and dribbles potatoes.

[papayahed]

PAM bathes only in Potato water and uses turnips as a loofah.

[Hawkman]

Pam's loofah is made from rusty wire wool wrapped around a model T Ford exhaust, and she sometimes uses it to brush her teeth. Pam buys her toothpaste from Mobil.

[papayahed]

PAM sleeps with a Kylo Ren teddy bear

[Hawkman]

Pam sleeps with a Model T Harrison Ford body cast which she's been hiding in her closet for 38 Years!

[papayahed]

PAM makes mosaics with his toenail clippings.

[Hawkman]

It's a dying art...

Pam uses platypus beaks as nail extensions.

[papayahed]

PAM has gotten rose gold caps on all his teeth because it brings out the hazel flecks in his good eye.

[Sancho]

PAM's grillwork involves a frightening array of rhinestones, LED lighting, and that stuff they used to put in Mood Rings

[papayahed]

Sanchy!

PAM roots for the Atlanta Braves.

[Sancho]

Paaapayyyaaa! ^...and that can be a maddeningly frustrating hobby.

PAM, during an epiphanous moment, while randomly typing characters into her Blackberry, and ordering a Special-Super-Turbo-Thrust Latte and a Top-Dead-Center Butter Croissant at the Motor City Coffee Corner, realized that her team, the Detroit Tigers, are actually a Major League Baseball team in the AL Central and not a farm team for the New York Yankees.

[papayahed]

Ouch!

PAM is barred from eating at the family table for his penchant for sticking his head in his bowl and slopping up the food.

[papayahed]

PAM is a spectacular Human Being.

[Hawkman]

Just as the spectacled bear is a spectacular bear! Pam has spectacular spectacles made out of spectacular spectacled bears

[papayahed]

PAM wears is shoes on the wrong feet.

[Hawkman]

Pam wears other people's shoes, on the right feet, but she always picks shoes that have been worn by people with galloping foot rot. Consequently Pam is developing hooves.

[papayahed]

PAM duels windmills.

[Hawkman]

Pam has an unhealthy interest in other people's egg eating habits.

[papayahed]

PAM has incorrectly read the situation because of his over protectiveness of his pet chicken Esmeralda.

[Hawkman]

Pam does unspeakable things to ducks.

[papayahed]

PAM thinks the moon is made of cheese.

[Hawkman]

Pam has a living menagerie of pond life, and her favourite omoeba is called George.

[papayahed]

PAM has spinach in his teeth.

[Hawkman]

Pam drowns kittens in vodka

[papayahed]

PAM drowns vodka in kittens!

[Hawkman]

Pam spends her mornings distributing squashed animals on the highway.

[papayahed]

PAM made a portrait of me out of macaroni and tuna cans.

[tonywalt]

PAM air drums constantly when in a good mood

[papayahed]

PAM clips his toenails at the office.

[Hawkman]

Pam conducts alien autopsies at the weekend.

[kiz_paws]

PAM doesn't use a fork or knife...

[Hawkman]

Pam models squirrel skin undergarments at an exclusive CIA gentlemen's members only club in Langley, Virginia, but only on Sundays, after church.

[kiz_paws]

*ouch* lol

PAM gargles with pickle juice

[Hawkman]

What else would I gargle with?

Pam sells CS Gas flavoured toothpaste to navy Seals.

[kiz_paws]

PAM eats crackers with flavoured toothpaste on top

[Hawkman]

Pam wears chain mail underwear and bathes in WD40

[kiz_paws]

PAM bathes with his pet octopus

[Hawkman]

Pam is secretly married to Donald Trump.

[tonywalt]

PAM breaks out singing "Eye of the Tiger" loudly as a daily motivator - no matter the location

[Hawkman]

Pam breeds Piranahs for Bond villains in his own bathtub!

[kiz_paws]

PAM has barbed wire braces

[Hawkman]

Pam keeps her stockings up with garters made from iron cross medal ribbons.

[tonywalt]

Pam screams, "get out of my yard" at public parks on Sundays (only)

[kiz_paws]

PAM enjoys marshmallow froth on top of his hot chocolates.

[Hawkman]

Pam hijacks shipments of easter eggs and pigs out at weekends!

[tonywalt]

PAM has a car phone, still works.

[Hawkman]

Pam likes to take his 25lb howitzer to school

[kiz_paws]

PAM thinks marshmallows make pretty good ear plugs...

[Hawkman]

And they have the added advantage that chicks stop for a nibble in passing!

Pam thinks that string grows wild on beanstalks and can be knitted into edible vests.

[kiz_paws]

PAMs idea of a good time is patting bumblebees because they are so fuzzy and cute

[Hawkman]

Pam learned how to smile from a Great White.

[kiz_paws]

PAM learned how to bleed from a Great White

[Hawkman]

Oh! I say....

Pam chews wasps for fun.

[kiz_paws]

PAM likes makeup so much that he is a volunteer clown at the Circus.

[Hawkman]

Pam has her makeup applied every six months by a retired vehicle refinisher, who is an ace with a spray gun and 2pack car paint.

[kiz_paws]

PAM has been seen recently practicing the fine art of flossing his teeth..... the two he has left .... :lol:

[Hawkman]

Pam dines on microwaved kitten every night, and has dolphin for breakfast.

[kiz_paws]

PAM wears his straitjacket out in public because he looks good in it...

[Hawkman]

Pam OD'd on possum pie, and can now hang by her tail from tree branches.

[kiz_paws]

pam secretly enjoys ice cream with ketchup on top

[Hawkman]

Pam eats tapioca, and enjoys it! Eeeeuuuuuaaaaauuuuwww!

[kiz_paws]

Pam fries the shells and throws away the egg!

[Hawkman]

Pam is famous for her cauliflower cheese hairdos.

[kiz_paws]

To add curl to his hair, PAM sticks his finger in a lightbulb socket...

[Hawkman]

Pam wears underwear fashioned from used bin liners.

[kiz_paws]

PAM uses duct tape to shave...

[Hawkman]

Pam bought Tower Bridge from a bloke she met in a pub.

[kiz_paws]

pam's favorite shoes are 30 inches long and bright red.....

[Hawkman]

Pam wraps her head in tinfoil so that she doesn't have to listen to the Venusians, who keep bombarding her brain with cat food recipes.

[kiz_paws]

PAM bought a Donald Trump wig that he proudly wears when he goes to the opera....

[Hawkman]

Pam never cleans her cauldron...

[kiz_paws]

When PAM cannot sleep at night, he turns on the vacuum cleaner and lets it run. Why? The thought of work exhausts him, and he falls asleep immediately.

[Hawkman]

Pam doesn't use vacuum cleaners as she favours her broomstick. When she can't sleep, she takes it for a moonlight spin :D

[kiz_paws]

PAM is correctamundo!! :lol:

[Hawkman]

It is gratifying to be acknowledged as being right... :devil:

Pam has an extensive collection of knitted lingerie.

[tonywalt]

PAM sings along to "eye of the tiger" in the car before meetings, and big events

[Pompey Bum]

Pam tells blind dates he's Charles Burkowski, then spends the evening worried they've guessed the truth.

[tonywalt]

PAM stole honey from Winnie the Pooh

[Pompey Bum]

Pam always forgets to remove the wrapper when he chews gum.

[tailor STATELY]

Pam sucks the chocolate from chocolate covered peanuts and keeps the de-chocolated peanuts in a candy dish for guests... (inspired from a true story.)

[Pompey Bum]

Pam sucks the chocolate from chocolate covered peanuts and keeps the de-chocolated peanuts in a candy dish for guests... (inspired from a true story.)

Guilty as charged.

Pam hums the Lawrence of Arabia theme when he changes the kitty litter.

[kiz_paws]

PAM drinks coffee from a saucer with a sugar cube between his front teeth

[Hawkman]

Pan has no front teeth, but strains her soup through her moustache

[Pompey Bum]

Pam understands that geese is a plural, but he thinks the singular is guess.

[kiz_paws]

PAM has the uncanny ability to blow air into his bicycle tires; he doesn't use a pump.

[Pompey Bum]

Hey, Kiz. I was worried about you. :seeya:

Pam plucks all four of her eyebrows.

[kiz_paws]

PAM stuffs his turkey with coffee beans

[Pompey Bum]

Pam thinks knowing her *ss from her elbow is an unfair expectation.

[papayahed]

PAM wears suits made of peanut shells

[Pompey Bum]

Pam paddles a canoe made of recycled Kleenex.

(Nice to have you back).

[kiz_paws]

PAM doesn't require a helmet when cycling, as his head is 100% pure bone

[Pompey Bum]

Pam puts lipstick on her cat.

[kiz_paws]

PAM looks good in a lampshade....

[Pompey Bum]

Pam keeps talking while she guzzles Scotch-- then wipes her face and licks her hand.

[kiz_paws]

Some cause happiness wherever they go... PAM causes happiness whenever he goes....

[Pompey Bum]

Pam saves breath mints in her belly button.

[kiz_paws]

PAM brushes his teeth with cat litter.....

[Pompey Bum]

Pam keeps tick collars on both ankles.

[tailor STATELY]

Pam grows Widow's weeds in the garden.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam claims a tax deduction for his goofy looks.

[kiz_paws]

PAM cannot be photographed -- not because he is a ghost, but because he keeps cracking the lenses...

[Pompey Bum]

Pam enjoys cuddling by fires--that she sets.

[kiz_paws]

Instead of a green thumb, PAM has a green pointer finger.... due to its time spent in his nostrils.....

[Pompey Bum]

Pam's toenails would be shorter but she can't get her feet to her teeth.

[kiz_paws]

If you gave PAM an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox...

[Pompey Bum]

Pam considers earwax a perfectly reasonable dietary supplement.

[kiz_paws]

PAM puts eye drops into his ears because he believes that he could then hear in colour...

[Pompey Bum]

Pam dusts her face with powdered sugar, then asks dates if they'd care for a lick.

[kiz_paws]

[that sounds like fun, lol!]

When PAM gets onto a dance floor, the other dancers quickly move aside. PAM feels like John Travolta, but it is because of extreme body odour that this phenomena occurs...

[Pompey Bum]

Pam is just happy she could give her tapeworm a good home.

[kiz_paws]

PAM believes that a swallowing a tablespoon of cinnamon powder a day will keep him healthy...

[Pompey Bum]

Pam keeps Dr Scholl's wife in mink.

[kiz_paws]

PAM's face must hurt … cuz it's sure killing me

[Pompey Bum]

Pam sings lullabies to her pinworms.

[kiz_paws]

Mickey Mouse has a restraining order against PAM

[Pompey Bum]

Kizzy's one of the nicest people I've ever met online. Pam on the other hand is a regular skank.

[kiz_paws]

(LoL, you ain't easy to insult, ha ha. But its all in good fun!)

PAM cannot understand why he keeps getting rejected from his auditions to Toddlers and Tiaras.

[Pompey Bum]

(Same here ;)).

Pam got her stretch marks tattooed .

[kiz_paws]

PAM's claim to fame is that he can successfully chew gum and walk ALL at the same time...

[Pompey Bum]

Pam says: "Pubic lice don't count as real lice, right?"

[kiz_paws]

PAM believes that belly button lint make good ear plugs...

[Pompey Bum]

PAM believes that belly button lint make good ear plugs...

:smilielol5:


Pam cornrows her nasal hair.

[kiz_paws]

PAM dyes his nose hair fluorescent green

[Pompey Bum]

Pam makes tiny snowmen from earwax.

[kiz_paws]

PAM had his teeth capped with a different bright color for every tooth.... a walking rainbow!

[Pompey Bum]

Pam's hair is a beautiful deep yellow. No, wait, I'm confusing it with her toenails.

[kiz_paws]

PAM enjoyed the Twilight movie so much that he asked his dentist to enlarge his canine teeth....

[Pompey Bum]

Pam wonders if she could sell her dandruff on eBay.

[kiz_paws]

PAM believes that an air horn is a viable symphony instrument

[Pompey Bum]

Pam sings in the shower, keeping rhythm with armpit farts.

[kiz_paws]

:lol: :lol:
PAM likes a dollop of mayonnaise atop his hot chocolate

[Pompey Bum]

Pam inserts goldfish into her nostrils then shoots them at the cat.

[kiz_paws]

PAM enjoys 'no hands' while eating spaghetti in sauce...

[cacian]

PAM is unsure what is going on in this game ha!

[Pompey Bum]

PAM is unsure what is going on in this game ha!

Cacian: Pam/PAM = Person Above Me. You insult the person above you and in doing so you make yourself vulnerable to the next insult. That's the only formal rule, although I play by the following standards:

Never mean what you say; make the insult as silly as possible.

If you don't like someone or they are irritating you lately, don't play PAM with them.

Never return or compound the same insult. It makes tensions build up.

Don't play PAM unless you can take a joke. No fair bursting into tears or rage. Laugh. :)


Pam mops the floor with her guinea pig.

[kiz_paws]

PAM shaved off his hair and glued on what was left of his mop because he liked 'the look'...

[Hawkman]

In order to avoid unsolicited phone calls, PAM has forsaken tec and reverted to using string and baked bean cans.

[kiz_paws]

Heya, good to see ya posting again, Hawk!

PAM flosses his teeth with guitar strings

[Hawkman]

Hey, kiz, I couldn't stay away for ever :devil:

How did you know? :D

Pam has an unparalleled collection of spittoons!

[kiz_paws]

PAM doesn't utilize spittoons, as his aim is quite erratic once he and Cap'n Morgan get together...

[Hawkman]

Actually, I'm rather partial to sailor Jerry.

Pam has a specimens cabinet in which she keeps all her ex's nail clippings.

[kiz_paws]

PAM paints his fingernails dark yellow, to match his teeth

[Hawkman]

Pam has a collection of 1970s choc-ices in the permafrost of her freezer.

[kiz_paws]

PAM wears an ascot that people ASSUME is because he is rakish. No, he is actually hiding the bolts on either side of his neck...

[Hawkman]

When Pam was put together, they forgot the neck bolts. Consequently, Pam has a tendency to loose her head at the slightest provocation.

[kiz_paws]

:lol:
Pam cubes potatoes to use in his stir fries, which he crunches very loudly with his four remaining teeth

[Hawkman]

:D

Pam has her own teeth. They are made of plywood and she bought them at a market stall in down town Mombassa, so they're definitely hers.

[kiz_paws]

PAM is so colour blind that he cannot distinguish when The Blues are playing on the radio...

[Hawkman]

Pam has been known to polish her nails with Brasso, when she can't get phosphoric acid.

[kiz_paws]

PAM uses liquid honey as underarm deodarent

[Hawkman]

Doesn't everyone? Fragrant, and tasty! Yum...

Pam has spent the last three years trying to bale out the Atlantic with an eggshell. Unfortunately, she hasn't noticed that it's got a hole in the bottom. Never buy an eggshell baler off an ex matelot in a bar after your thirteenth vodka... :devil:

[kiz_paws]

Laffing arse off... :lol:

PAM keeps his trousers up with bungee cords...

[Hawkman]

Pam runs half marathons on lakes of custard...

[tailor STATELY]

(what's wrong with using honey as UAD ? ... just say'in)

Pam never buys candy at the theatre nor needs to "smuggle" it in... she arrives early and gleans the theatre floor for popcorn, jujubes, black crows, and junior mints

[Hawkman]

Pam frequently competes in drag races with snails... Unfortunately, he always loses.

[kiz_paws]

PAM doesn't need a shaver to get rid of whiskers -- he uses high grade sandpaper, which gets the job done in a fun and relaxing way...

[Hawkman]

Pam spends her Sunday's chugging Absinthe and dancing the can can on her porch. If you want the old green fairy, we know where it is, we know where it is, we know where it is... :devil:

[kiz_paws]

ha ha ha ha ha!!

PAM consumes so much beer, that he now has complimentary shares in his local brewery as a tribute to this feat.

[Hawkman]

If only! :D

Pam has the world's largest collection of of Elvis records which she keeps hidden behind a wall of hamburgers.

[kiz_paws]

Pam sticks jelly beans in his ears to add to the flavor of his favorite candy...

[Hawkman]

Pam bribes dwarves with rat burgers so she can get a discount on repairs to her broomstick :D

[kiz_paws]

PAM likes to put frosting on top of mashed potatoes, chocolate mint is his favorite...

[Hawkman]

Pam buys all her meat at the pet shop.

[kiz_paws]

Instead of putting nuts into his fudgy brownies, PAM chops carrot and thus gets the crunch that way...

[Hawkman]

Pam has Swamp Thing, by The Grid, permanently on replay, to help her get through her day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFvvLuomw0Y

[kiz_paws]

lol :lol:

PAM has such difficulty trimming his toenails, that he has had to resort to using a canine claw trimmer

[tailor STATELY]

Pam substitutes Southern Comfort in recipes calling for water.

[Hawkman]

Pam employs zombies as baristas in his chain of franchise coffee shops.

[kiz_paws]

PAM put fish scales into his eyes to use as contact lenses

[Hawkman]

Pam has a squadron of robot penguins to herd children into play pens

[kiz_paws]

PAM's favorite shoes are his red ones, size 30 ...

[Hawkman]

:D :D :D

Pam always needs a post prandial nap after consuming her third roasted bald eagle.

[kiz_paws]

PAM is quite anemic … in that he requires more blood in his alcohol-stream....

[Hawkman]

Pam eats only Brussels sprouts, when unable to slake her hunger for the brains of cops and paramedics!

[kiz_paws]

PAM believes that he is a Chick-Magnet because all the girls in town stare at him... but that is only because he uses stout ale as aftershave.....

[Hawkman]

Pam 9890

[tailor STATELY]

??

Pam enjoys getting into the Christmas spirit by outdoing the neighbors with Christmas lights and a blaring looped computerized synchronization of Hocus Pocus by Focus... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV0F_XiR48Q

[ennison]

Is PAM real? Who is she? He.? It? Does PAM have a consciousness? I think only someone not sentient could take this length of roasting. PAM is non-sentient. (Vegetables are sentient on a higher plane)

[tonywalt]

PAM shouts on "rock and roll" randomly while walking around

[kiz_paws]

PAM thinks he is walking the dog. But the truth of the matter is that the dog is walking him!

[tailor STATELY]

Pam lures songbirds into the garden just so her cat is well fed.

[kiz_paws]

PAM shares his toothbrush with his cat...

[Hawkman]

Pam cleans her teeth with dog chews.

PS Peel me a grape while you're at it... :D

[tailor STATELY]

Pam gleans the beach for large plastic bottles for his soda bottle rocket launcher (which he uses to terrorize the neighbors' dogs).

[Pompey Bum]

Pam jumps up and down enthusiastically while licking his chihuahua's face.

[Pompey Bum]

Is PAM real? Who is she? He.? It? Does PAM have a consciousness? I think only someone not sentient could take this length of roasting. PAM is non-sentient. (Vegetables are sentient on a higher plane)

Psssst, Ennison, Pam = Person above me.