Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[prendrelemick]

I don't think I'd want a slice of that cake.


Just a single solitary bottle of Newkie Brown of the Christmas beer remains at our house. Were I to go on a bender (or "strike t'rant" as its called locally) it would have to be on Mrs P's Baileys Irish Cream.

[cacian]

Happy New Year guys and may I just ask about a member:
Anyone knows where Mutatis is? I just thought I ask.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I don't know what I was thinking about - but GILLS are what I meant to type.

I can’t say that “chocolate gills” sounds any more appetizing.



...Sorry...

It was only a matter of time, could have been anyone of us.


Should have stuck with the beers and ales. hell the wife even bought me a box of fabulous beer for Christmas (I knew I married her for some reason) including four bottles of Avinger Celebrator:

...Ballast Point Imperial Porter (virtually like stout meets espresso!):
Hahhahahahahahhahhahahhahahahhahhahahhahhaha!

...If I get up tomorrow I'll let you know.:cheers2:

My God man, what were you [not] thinking? Ale, tequila and bourbon!
“Ballast” is appropriate, that stuff looks like it could keep a Zeppelin down.

I chuckled at the label, imagining the battle raging in your gut between the three belligerents.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sto3p3eozg8



Happy New Year guys and may I just ask about a member:
Anyone knows where Mutatis is? I just thought I ask.

Ehem, nice weather we’re having wouldn’t you say?
How’s the Thames flowing these days?

[aside quietly]-
Ok…let’s discreetly duck around the corner of the bar.
All I can tell you is he is banned

[They emrge from behind the bar tipping hats at passersby]-

Well then, how ‘bout we head back in the bar, I hear Parker is serving up some wonderful rum cake.

.

[LostPrincess13]

Hullo! Just happened to pass by. Glad to see this thread is still alive and kickin'! Oh the wonders of booze! :D

[Sancho]

...

Hahhahahahahahhahhahahhahahahhahhahahhahhaha!


If I get up tomorrow I'll let you know.:cheers2:

Let It Bleed. Yeah baby.

That right there is one of the greatest rock-n-roll albums to ever spin at thirty three and a third, IESHO (in El Sancho's humble opinion).

Not too sure about the coffee beer though. Being wired and drunk at the same time might have consequences. The last time I found myself in that condition, I stated, to no one in particular, "I'm going to do something!"

And I did.

Anyway, how about this one:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zpsb0346b28.jpg

I just like live music. The Midnight Rambler track gets me going every time - a bluesy rock-n-roll fandango, or something like that. Wish I would've been there, but I was only around 8 at the time.

[prendrelemick]

Lost Princess! Welcome back your madge. Remember that scene in Hello Dolly where Barbara Striesland is welcomed back by Louis Armstrong and all those waiters? - That.

[NikolaiI]

New word... Smokeaholic. Anybody know someone it fits?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

New word... Smokeaholic. Anybody know someone it fits?

You came out of left field with that one.
Maybe the Marlboro Man?
Not sure where you were headed with that but it brought this one to mind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIN8MmMloZE

[Paulclem]

The Tale if the Vomiting Dog or Man vom Dog

Our dog is a typical Jack Russel. Aggressive, possessive, vindictive and quick to anger.

So yesterday, upon vomting up his tea, I left him to take back possession of the pile. Normally this arrangement works ok, with just a sticky bit to wipe up from the tiles.

Yesterday was a little different though, as he went in to vomit thrice more. I felt that this cycle of scoff and vomit needed to be broken, and so the contest began. Between him trying to bite me and protect his pile, I managed to snap on his lead and get him in the kitchen. I then cleared up, and I felt that he was relieved that he didn't have to scoff it again.

But, alas, he vomited up the rest of his tea, and we were back to a slimy square one. This time, like any good general, I varied my tactics and forced him back with the wilkinson's plastic step into the kitchen again - for all the world looking like a lion tamer. I just needed the whip. So I successfully cleared up the rest of the vom, and I think there was relief all round.

Now I am considering getting that whip, but I feel my life has a rather absurd edge to it. Does this kind of thing happen to you chaps?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

"his tea"
"take back possession of the pile"
"a sticky bit"
"vomit thrice more'
"scoff it "
"wilkinson's plastic step "

I'm nearly in tears from laughing. Great story.
For us, well me, it's fur balls.
The cat mangages to launch them along well travelled pathways in the house.
Nothing like the feel of warm ooze on the sole when making your way toward the kitchen.

Unfortunately with cats there's no going back for seconds, they lurch and move on leaving us, well me, to clean up the mess.

[Paulclem]

Ha!

Cats vomiting is much more horrible - as is their vom.


A cat we had used to leave the innards of eviscerated mice on our carpets as presents. It was a very odd squelchy crunch that would greet my invariably stockinged feet. Most unpleasant.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

.

Speaking of cats, how about Julie Newmar....meeowww!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U_6R8TjQ_c



http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/94/Julie_Newmar_Catwoman_Batman_1966.JPG/150px-Julie_Newmar_Catwoman_Batman_1966.JPG

[islandclimber]

Taking the afternoon off work to watch The Old Lady thrash those silly twisted Celtic Bhoys yesterday was rather fantastic. Neil Lennon's delusional complaints about the referee left me quite bemused. On a side note, Juventus goal-scorer Alessandro Matri's girlfriend is quite the looker...

[prendrelemick]

Definite penalty! Your man was playing rugby! However if they had got a penalty they would've tapped it gently straight at Buffon, like every other shot they had.

[islandclimber]

I don't necessarily agree. That type of penalty is never awarded in any of the European leagues. Only on the British Isles. Hooper was certainly jostling just as much. I think the yellow to both was acceptable. If that was a penalty though, then the Commons studs up challenge on Pirlo should have been a straight red, as with the Brown studs up on Pirlo. THey basically mauled the man all match to limit his influence with overaggressive tackles that certainly were bookable. I think the ref did well to allow the game to be played. It was exciting.

Today's ManU-Real match was nowhere near it in terms of excitement.

[Paulclem]

Finished work at eight tonight and wandered down into the town to get the bus.

The place was deserted, gloomy, and everywhere was soaked with the latest snow and rain.

Then I washed up on the opposite side of the street to Impulse - a rough pub/ club which happened to be playing a selection of 80s muic.

Haircut 100 was ringing out with a juvenile pop that took me back to discos I had frequented

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASQfJkzK544

Depeche Mode's first song that I was aware of in the early 80s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bhg8D8MVYxQ


Chain Reation - which reminds me of a pub I used to work in when I lived in Wakefield.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaYHRx9-v2M


There was no-one about and I could have jigged about much as i used to at that time. I stuck to singing along though. Perhaps a Butlins Themed weekend is in order.

http://www.bigweekends.com/your-break/91307

[prendrelemick]

I don't necessarily agree. That type of penalty is never awarded in any of the European leagues. Only on the British Isles. Hooper was certainly jostling just as much. I think the yellow to both was acceptable. If that was a penalty though, then the Commons studs up challenge on Pirlo should have been a straight red, as with the Brown studs up on Pirlo. THey basically mauled the man all match to limit his influence with overaggressive tackles that certainly were bookable. I think the ref did well to allow the game to be played. It was exciting.




Fair comment, It was a good match that early goal meant Celtic had to go all out. I missed the Man U match


Finished work at eight tonight and wandered down into the town to get the bus.

The place was deserted, gloomy, and everywhere was soaked with the latest snow and rain.

Then I washed up on the opposite side of the street to Impulse - a rough pub/ club which happened to be playing a selection of 80s muic.

Haircut 100 was ringing out with a juvenile pop that took me back to discos I had frequented

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASQfJkzK544

Depeche Mode's first song that I was aware of in the early 80s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bhg8D8MVYxQ


Chain Reation - which reminds me of a pub I used to work in when I lived in Wakefield.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaYHRx9-v2M


There was no-one about and I could have jigged about much as i used to at that time. I stuck to singing along though. Perhaps a Butlins Themed weekend is in order.

http://www.bigweekends.com/your-break/91307

Carefull Paul, nostalgia can strike at any time and there is no known cure.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...Then I washed up on the opposite side of the street to Impulse - a rough pub/ club which happened to be playing a selection of 80s muic.

...There was no-one about and I could have jigged about much as i used to at that time....

Sounds like a wonderful flashback moment.

Paul, were you a Kraftwerk fan?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OJYyA34dtI


...Carefull Paul, nostalgia can strike at any time and there is no known cure.


Yes, it is a dreadful malady that rears it's ugly head from time to time...why at this this very moment I'm experiencing a nostalgic interlude with my vacuum tube collection


http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/VacuumTubesGroup.jpg

[Sancho]

Whoa. I'm having flashbacks to my misspent youth. Our crappy old TV set seemed to always be on the fritz, so my dad and I would pull a bunch of the tubes out of the back and take them down to hardware store where they had a tube tester.

My childhood was tragically marred by a set with a lousy vertical hold. The picture regularly cycled across the screen, but I'd sit and watch Johnny Quest anyway.

[prendrelemick]

All we could get was a fuzzy BBC 1 from an ariel that looked like a bedstead on a pole. Every so often my mother would have to climb onto the coal shed roof and rotate the pole with Dad shouting directions (relayed by 4 kids) through the living room window. The ariel and pole were quite heavy and required her whole body effort. So not only did she retune the telly, she was also a forerunner in the art of pole dancing.

[Sancho]

Shake it to the left
Shake it to the right
Shake it, shake it with all of your might
C'mon, Ma, show's about to start

[Paulclem]

I saw my first colour TV in about 1970. The next door neighbour let us have a look at theirs. I remember the red being very red.

Was down the allotment today. It's all starting up again. I popped in some garlic and dug some trenches for beans. We will be having the Annual General Meeting in April where we will detail how we managed to escape the clutches of the other two allotment associations. It shoud be a laugh.

[prendrelemick]

You say they were for beans, but reading between the lines I wonder if those trenches weren't defensive, to repel East Coventry Allotment Assoc Storm Troopers.


Remember Paul, the book is still running on the greenhouse erection.

[Paulclem]

You say they were for beans, but reading between the lines I wonder if those trenches weren't defensive, to repel East Coventry Allotment Assoc Storm Troopers.


Remember Paul, the book is still running on the greenhouse erection.

Yes - we've managed to repel them and have got away with our half of the cash. Huzzah!

As for the greenhouse - I have taken some of it down the allotment. The thing is, he's still findin bits of it at the back of his shed. It's a good juob I didn't try to erect it before. I've got to pick up two more bits soon!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

You say they were for beans, but reading between the lines I wonder if those trenches weren't defensive, to repel East Coventry Allotment Assoc Storm Troopers....

"ECAAST"...has a nice ring to it.


Yes - we've managed to repel them and have got away with our half of the cash. Huzzah!

As for the greenhouse - I have taken some of it down the allotment. The thing is, he's still findin bits of it at the back of his shed. It's a good juob I didn't try to erect it before. I've got to pick up two more bits soon!

Will it be placed near the sheds?
Sounds like you're still in the Allotment Master planning phase, perhaps I can be of some assistance.

[Paulclem]

"ECAAST"...has a nice ring to it.



Will it be placed near the sheds?
Sounds like you're still in the Allotment Master planning phase, perhaps I can be of some assistance.

It will be placed near the original shed on a bit of rough ground. It's fairly level, so it souldn't be much of a problem to site it there.

I went into the local pub last night to book the side room for the AGM. Nice room - large enough for those likely to turn up. The landlady did tell me that it was karaoke night on the same evening. we start at 7.30, and the karaoke night starts at 8.30. i think it will be good to have some post- meeting entertainment. I'm not going to mention it to the other committee members - it'll be a nice surprise....:D

[prendrelemick]

Thats how the Palace of Versalles started , a couple of sheds and a glasshouse.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

.
^ That's what we were taught over here.

Paul, I've been putting some thought to your allotment masterplan.
Given the potential for invasions from other allotment associations, I believe the Roman Camp concept is the way to go:


http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/RomanCamp_zpsa326881e.jpg

[prendrelemick]

How did the AGM go paul, i imagine it a bit like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97dBfdNrf9A

Only with Karaoke

[Paulclem]

How did the AGM go paul, i imagine it a bit like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97dBfdNrf9A

Only with Karaoke


These things move slowly apparently. There are the notices to be given out, and then an opportunity for the plotholders to add any other business to the agenda - which in my view is just asking for trouble.

12th of April is AGM night. I'm hoping my faithful committee members will form a redoubt around me when I do the Chairman's report. I'll be blathering on to shouts of, "Get a move on! We want to be the first to get up and do My Way!"

[Paulclem]

.
^ That's what we were taught over here.

Paul, I've been putting some thought to your allotment masterplan.
Given the potential for invasions from other allotment associations, I believe the Roman Camp concept is the way to go:


http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/RomanCamp_zpsa326881e.jpg

Good idea - if I can co-opt old Fred to the cause, we already have a hedge topped ditch to the southern side of our bit. That just leaves the exposed northern edge, which has been let to a new bloke, and a partially defended western hedge. The eastern hedge is an impenetrable tangle of fences, hedges, brambles and nettles. Mind you, that's what the French said about the Black Forest.

[prendrelemick]

Anybody watch the footie last night? Barcelona were another level, and the atmosphere was amazing. And Messi - he barely swings his leg and the ball flies into the net! How does he do that?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Good idea - if I can co-opt old Fred to the cause, we already have a hedge topped ditch to the southern side of our bit. That just leaves the exposed northern edge, which has been let to a new bloke, and a partially defended western hedge. The eastern hedge is an impenetrable tangle of fences, hedges, brambles and nettles. Mind you, that's what the French said about the Black Forest.

Ahh yes the bocage approach for defense.
The hedgerows were hell on the Allies in Normandy until they came up with the Rhino tanks.

A Rhino tank and French distraction:

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/WW%20II%20Days%20Rockford%20Illinois/th_BellefilleandTank.jpg (http://s963.beta.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/WW%20II%20Days%20Rockford%20Illinois/BellefilleandTank.jpg.html)

You better get the northern edge buttoned up.


Anybody watch the footie last night? Barcelona were another level, and the atmosphere was amazing. And Messi - he barely swings his leg and the ball flies into the net! How does he do that?

No luck here, football season is over for now.

[Paulclem]

Yes - the northern edge is vulnerable. The previous occupant did line the border with car windscreens, (presumably he worked at a scrapyard or a car factory), which are still there. (Yes a car windscreen border! He is perhaps the one who covered the whole of my first half with carpet, which jars your back every time you try to stick a fork into it). Anyway. all i have to do is take the mattock to them to jag them up a bit. That'll help. (Not knowing the technical term for this tool - mattock, I used to call it a shovel on a stick).

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Fellas it's time for another Bigfoot update.
A few weeks back I made my periodic visit to the TBRC website to see what's stompin.
(strange - looks like they just changed their name to "North American Wood Ape Conservancy)

http://www.texasbigfoot.com/

Wonder of wonders, the annual Bigfoot Conference is in Fort Worth this year!
Fort Worth is a little closer than Tyler, where it has been held in the past.


Don't waste your time asking...hell yes I'm going!
My son and I will be heading out shortly. I'll report back.

enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAjBZqhxuOs

[prendrelemick]

Yes - the northern edge is vulnerable. The previous occupant did line the border with car windscreens, (presumably he worked at a scrapyard or a car factory), which are still there. (Yes a car windscreen border! He is perhaps the one who covered the whole of my first half with carpet, which jars your back every time you try to stick a fork into it). Anyway. all i have to do is take the mattock to them to jag them up a bit. That'll help. (Not knowing the technical term for this tool - mattock, I used to call it a shovel on a stick).


Geniuses abound in what ever walk of life you care to view. A car windscreen fence, simple and brilliant! it has the sheltering properties of a victorian walled garden without the problems of shade. I think I saw something similar (Obviously plagerised) winning a gold medal at Chelsea.


Fellas it's time for another Bigfoot update.
A few weeks back I made my periodic visit to the TBRC website to see what's stompin.
(strange - looks like they just changed their name to "North American Wood Ape Conservancy)

http://www.texasbigfoot.com/

Wonder of wonders, the annual Bigfoot Conference is in Fort Worth this year!
Fort Worth is a little closer than Tyler, where it has been held in the past.


Don't waste your time asking...hell yes I'm going!
My son and I will be heading out shortly. I'll report back.

enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAjBZqhxuOs

Bigfoot-"Silly patina!" Grace with panache I'd say! "Wood Ape" sounds so limp.

Could be time to form a splinter group.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... I think I saw something similar (Obviously plagerised) winning a gold medal at Chelsea.

Haha !

Bigfoot-"Silly patina!" Grace with panache I'd say! "Wood Ape" sounds so limp.

Could be time to form a splinter group.

Agreed, but I must admit I do like their wording; "silly patina".
I'm about to post a separate thread regarding my adventure, so keep an eye out.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Drinking a lot of Cumberland Ale recently, last couple of month or so, very nice, highly recommended. Just thought I'd let you know, if you come across some like.

[prendrelemick]

Should be good for washing down those Cumberland sausages. I'm chiefly drinking a guiness lookalike from a local micro-brewery these days.

Our fencing exploits take us past various pie-shops, so naturally we tend to stop and compare products. This is probably not so healthy but we put the interests of research above our petty personal concerns.

so..

In the catagory of Meat and potato:-
Waites of Mytholmroyd - Tender chunks of slow cooked beef in a rich gravy, the potatoes are also of a satisfying chunky size allowing a potatoey"bite" . No two pies have exactly the same proportion of meat and potato, there is no herby or spicey faffing about, just good honest quality ingredients perfectly cooked. The Pastry is delicious, crusty yet soft as well- quite rich. They've usually sold out by mid morning.

In the catagory of Pork pie.
Bolster Moor Farm Shop. - A close one this, until last week Stanforth's of Skipton had it in the bag. But then we found Bolster and I think the seasoning of the meat is slightly better. Stanforth's pastry is slightly richer and there is more liquer in theirs, but it should be about the meat - so Bolster has it.

In the catagory of Cornish Pasty.
I don't partake of these as I dont like onion. But my fellow judge Ade assures me those from Waites are "f*****g beautiful!" That's good enough for me.

[The Atheist]

What cheer, chaps!

It does a man's heart the power of good to not just see the Gentlemen's Club on the front page, but also still with the same posters hanging in there.

Long time no....

I must check and see how long it's been.

And no, I haven't been in jail or anything - just spending a year dead for tax reasons.

The next several rounds are on me!

[Paulclem]

What cheer, chaps!

It does a man's heart the power of good to not just see the Gentlemen's Club on the front page, but also still with the same posters hanging in there.

Long time no....

I must check and see how long it's been.

And no, I haven't been in jail or anything - just spending a year dead for tax reasons.

The next several rounds are on me!

Hi Atheist - glad to see you back. I'll take you up on a round. Things are much the same here as you can see. Parker has not been as busy as usual, in fact i think he's been pining.

[The Atheist]

I'll get him a kick in the pants first thing - I thought I could see some dust on the mantelpiece.

I hear you're having some weather down your end right now.

Hope it clears off shortly, the geese have already left this morning.

[Paulclem]

We have - have you seen Mick's photo on the what's the weather like thread?

Usually, snow is long gone by now. I'd have had the broad beans in and be contemplating sticking the first earlies in by next Friday. It's been snowing again today, and it has frozen, with the temperature set to stay below freezing at night this week and beyond. Coldest March for 50 years apparently.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

What cheer, chaps!

It does a man's heart the power of good to not just see the Gentlemen's Club on the front page, but also still with the same posters hanging in there.

Long time no....

I must check and see how long it's been.

And no, I haven't been in jail or anything - just spending a year dead for tax reasons.

The next several rounds are on me!

Well, well...look what the cat drug in!
Welcome back. We've been doing the best we could to keep our stools warm.
I'll swing by the spirit shop this week and get another bottle of "gobble juice" for the occasion.
Don't mention taxes; April 15th is just around the corner.


We have - have you seen Mick's photo on the what's the weather like thread? ...


Thanks for the heads up, I'll jump over there and take a look.

[The Atheist]

We have - have you seen Mick's photo on the what's the weather like thread?

Usually, snow is long gone by now. I'd have had the broad beans in and be contemplating sticking the first earlies in by next Friday. It's been snowing again today, and it has frozen, with the temperature set to stay below freezing at night this week and beyond. Coldest March for 50 years apparently.

Of course, the allotment! Hopefully summer will make up for the bad March.

Exactly the opposite over here, with the driest, hottest February & March ever.

[The Atheist]

Well, well...look what the cat drug in!
Welcome back. We've been doing the best we could to keep our stools warm.
I'll swing by the spirit shop this week and get another bottle of "gobble juice" for the occasion.
Don't mention taxes; April 15th is just around the corner.

It's a conspiracy! We have to pay tax on 15/4 here as well.

Betcha the stock market has a lousy day that day.

[prendrelemick]

It's good to hear from you again. Especially in light of recent cricketing events!

[The Atheist]

Indeed!

Love the new avatar, by the way.

Hope the lambing's going ok up your way - do you still have an old coal range to pop the cold ones in?

[The Atheist]

Oh, and is it just me or is this forum reeeeeaaaaaaalllllllyyyyy slow?

And if so, does anyone know why? It's the slowest site I've visited since dial-up. It's a board that's always had speed trouble, but I don't recall this kind slow.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I reckon we've grown accustomed to it,
As far as I'm concerned, I've learned to embrace it as it affords me time to root through the fridge, knock down a beer or visit the chamber pot while the computer churns away.

[The Atheist]

I just have to modify my behaviour to switch pages. Oddly, the post function is quicker than usual.

For your amusement, I present the latest bigfoot evidences! (http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/39819/confirmed-bigfoot-found-in-siberia/)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

^He does get around.

A couple of great quotes from the article:

"This woman, Lillya Zelenkova, said Bigfoot woke her up in her tent, and wanted to have sex with her. She didn’t go for it because, “I don’t like hairy men, though I was tempted"

"Valdmir Putin himself joined several of the hunts. “I will find the Yeti and I will kill the Yeti,” Putin said."

.....

Tonight I'm finishing off some old Chianti, more like vinegar.

[stlukesguild]

After two grande margaritas I'm finishing the evening off with a Southern Tier Imperial Chocolat Stout. They make one of my favorite dessert beers: Creme brule. Check back tomorrow morning to see if I'm still functioning. I'm supposed to get up early and make a ham and eggs breakfast then head into the studio. Yeah... right.

[The Atheist]

"Valdmir Putin himself joined several of the hunts. “I will find the Yeti and I will kill the Yeti,” Putin said."

He'd be quite amusing if he didn't kill so many of his opponents.



After two grande margaritas I'm finishing the evening off with a Southern Tier Imperial Chocolat Stout. They make one of my favorite dessert beers: Creme brule.

Heaven!

[prendrelemick]

Dessert Beers?!! Should those two words even appear together on the same page?

[The Atheist]

The term could probably do with a touch-up, but in practice it's great!

Let's go with after-dinner beer. Different from the before-dinner beer.

[The Atheist]

And coming right on the back of that, I happen to see this (http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/21852507/beer-flavored-ice-cream-stirs-controversy#axzz2PKVYZhJw).

Not sure about that one, but I'd try it to find out!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

After two grande margaritas I'm finishing the evening off with a Southern Tier Imperial Chocolat Stout. They make one of my favorite dessert beers: Creme brule. Check back tomorrow morning to see if I'm still functioning. I'm supposed to get up early and make a ham and eggs breakfast then head into the studio. Yeah... right.

It is now going on 24 hours are you still functioning?


And coming right on the back of that, I happen to see this (http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/21852507/beer-flavored-ice-cream-stirs-controversy#axzz2PKVYZhJw).

Not sure about that one, but I'd try it to find out!

The Texas summer is around the corner.
"...and SnoBar sells alcohol-infused ice pops in select liquor stores throughout Arizona, with flavors that include margarita and Cosmopolitans..."

[The Atheist]

The Texas summer is around the corner.
"...and SnoBar sells alcohol-infused ice pops in select liquor stores throughout Arizona, with flavors that include margarita and Cosmopolitans..."

Oh yeah. I've tried and enjoyed many desserts with liqueurs in them, so I'd be eating those!

[The Atheist]

Ok, chaps - an important mission.

Soundofmusic has gone walkabout and isn't posting here nowadays. I've invited her back and have placed a double Shirley Temple on the bar for her.

All together, "Come back Soundo!"

[Paulclem]

Sounds posts dropped off after you wnent on sabbatical Atheist. Parker suggested she was pining.

[The Atheist]

Either way, she can get her backside down in this freshly-polished leather recliner Parker's "friends" in Leicester restored.

Edward VII, when PoW, is reputed to have seduced at least two maids on/across/under it. I thought the history might appeal to her!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

^That along with Parker's private screenings, she loved those.

[soundofmusic]

Gracious, Big Foot and Atheist has returned...be still my beating heart; Hello Boys....thought I'd drop in for a drink and a bit of amusement; what's on the agenda.

[The Atheist]

Yay! Welcome back. Parker has been inconsolable, I'm told.

The agenda?

Same as usual. Eat, drink & be merry! I hear the sun turned up in England, so no doubt even Mick & Paul will be smiling.

Jynnan Tonnyx all round.

[Paulclem]

I've just got the first ealy potatoes in, along with some broad beans. Most of the greenhouse is now down the allotment, but I have to dig the foundation into a trench. I will get it built, but it will take a bit of time.

We have our Annual General Meeting this Friday too. I've got to deliver the chairman's report to the assembled crew. Should be ...er.. good.

[soundofmusic]

Yay! Welcome back. Parker has been inconsolable, I'm told.

The agenda?

Same as usual. Eat, drink & be merry! I hear the sun turned up in England, so no doubt even Mick & Paul will be smiling.

Jynnan Tonnyx all round.

Poor Parker, I hope he still looks good in that pink thong I sent him...If it isn't sunny enough where you all are, you can come share our clouds in South Florida. It's cloudy, but hot as the devil here.

[soundofmusic]

So sweet, how could I resist.

[soundofmusic]

Yeah, I guess we all started our walk abouts at the same time. Glad you're back Atheist, where the devil is Jockey? Good to see things are back to normal around here. You'll love this Paul, I have a leak in my kitchen drain pipe and one day, mowing the lawn, I noticed I had some gorgeous tomatos growing out of it. So I transplanted them...of course, now they are dead.

[Paulclem]

Yeah, I guess we all started our walk abouts at the same time. Glad you're back Atheist, where the devil is Jockey? Good to see things are back to normal around here. You'll love this Paul, I have a leak in my kitchen drain pipe and one day, mowing the lawn, I noticed I had some gorgeous tomatos growing out of it. So I transplanted them...of course, now they are dead.

:lol:

I know what you mean. Though I have the allotment, I only grow stuff that is easy - potatoes being one. Carrots just won't go for me.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...Most of the greenhouse is now down the allotment, but I have to dig the foundation into a trench. I will get it built, but it will take a bit of time.

...I've got to deliver the chairman's report to the assembled crew. Should be ...er.. good.

Didn't us blokes put down some wagers on when you'd have that thing built a few posts back?

Will your report delivery go something like this?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzbhbetwYFU


Yeah, I guess we all started our walk abouts at the same time. Glad you're back Atheist, where the devil is Jockey? Good to see things are back to normal around here. You'll love this Paul, I have a leak in my kitchen drain pipe and one day, mowing the lawn, I noticed I had some gorgeous tomatos growing out of it. So I transplanted them...of course, now they are dead.

Nice to see you grace the floors of this hallowed place once again.
I just finished the first Spring mowing.

[prendrelemick]

Spring ! What's that then ? there isn't a blade of grass anywhere on the farm.

[The Atheist]

Yeah, I guess we all started our walk abouts at the same time. Glad you're back Atheist, where the devil is Jockey?

That's a good thought. Anyone know where the old Scotty is?



:lol:

I know what you mean. Though I have the allotment, I only grow stuff that is easy - potatoes being one. Carrots just won't go for me.

Got to be something in your soil - carrots are normally a piece of cake.


Spring ! What's that then ? there isn't a blade of grass anywhere on the farm.

The result of spending three months under snow?

[prendrelemick]

we've had the wind stuck in the east for many a week as well. The sheep are eating soil. Or as my octogenarian neighbour is fond of saying - "Their belly thinks their throat's bin cut."

[Sancho]

Send 'em my way. All-you-eat pine pollen here. Ah-choo.

[Paulclem]

Got to be something in your soil - carrots are normally a piece of cake.





I don't think so - probably the temperature and when planted. I have to say, lots of the people I speak to report poor yield. I've had more success in pots - but again they were planted later.

[stlukesguild]

After a Hellacious week... two weeks before the all-important testing and we can't suspend anyone... we went out for Mexican: big burritos, chimichangas and a picture of margaritas followed by tequila shots.

At this point nothing makes sense except:


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HlSeUxN-TXA/TgprCsfX8DI/AAAAAAAAABg/0ECdaaLuQIc/s1600/936full-let-it-bleed-cover.jpg

:cheers2::cheers2::cheers2:

Thank God for online spell check!!!

[stlukesguild]

Finishing the evening off with:

http://365beers.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/ayinger-celebrator-dopplebock.jpg?w=470

http://www.29-95.com/files/images/rolling-stones_sticky-fingers.jpg

Set my alarm clock for noon!:cheers2:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...and a picture of margaritas followed by tequila shots.

Thank God for online spell check!!!

^Looks like the spellcheck had a few too many as well. hehe

Enjoy the evening !


For me, not quite as exotic as your Celebrator, nevertheless, I happened to see this new addition to the beer aisle, so I grabbed a six pack earlier today:



http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/IMGP3011_zps3d4a7294.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/Misc%20Album/IMGP3011_zps3d4a7294.jpg.html)

[stlukesguild]

The Celebrator was the last of the beers the wife bought me for Christmas... now you know one reason why I married her.

Yes Spell=check sucks at recognizing the wrong word: pitcher/picture or their/there/they're.

Nothing wrong with Newcastle... never noticed the pin-ups before.

I first had Celebrator in New York... bought by friends as I was leaving to move back to Cleveland. A fabulous beer.

[The Atheist]

we've had the wind stuck in the east for many a week as well. The sheep are eating soil. Or as my octogenarian neighbour is fond of saying - "Their belly thinks their throat's bin cut."

We have the same problem, but for different reasons here. It's only rained three days since Xmas, instead of the average 30-odd. About 80% of the country has been declared an official drought zone.


Send 'em my way. All-you-eat pine pollen here. Ah-choo.

I have two boys that get hay fever so badly they BOTH contracted pneumonia during the summer.


I don't think so - probably the temperature and when planted. I have to say, lots of the people I speak to report poor yield. I've had more success in pots - but again they were planted later.

You see, I never think of the temperature - it's never too cold to plant here.

I've been watching the weather up your end of the planet - you have had it bad.


The Celebrator was the last of the beers the wife bought me for Christmas... now you know one reason why I married her.

Nice!

Have you read Keef's book? One of the funniest things I've ever read.

[prendrelemick]

^Looks like the spellcheck had a few too many as well. hehe

Enjoy the evening !


For me, not quite as exotic as your Celebrator, nevertheless, I happened to see this new addition to the beer aisle, so I grabbed a six pack earlier today:



http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/IMGP3011_zps3d4a7294.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/Misc%20Album/IMGP3011_zps3d4a7294.jpg.html)


Wha...

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

we've had the wind stuck in the east for many a week as well. The sheep are eating soil. Or as my octogenarian neighbour is fond of saying - "Their belly thinks their throat's bin cut."

Soon their diets will be transitioning to tundra mosses and lichens.
How deep's the permafrost these days?


....Nothing wrong with Newcastle... never noticed the pin-ups before....

Actually, I should clarify, it was the "Bombshell" variant of Newcastle that is new to me and to the beer aisle. The Newcastle Brown Ale I've had a few times in the past having been introduced to it by the Blokes, in fact see Mick's avatar.


Wha...

Yeah...it puzzled me too, nevertheless, I was smitten with the blond on the label.
She is quite smooth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4_R5cQVU1o



.

[Sancho]

I have two boys that get hay fever so badly they BOTH contracted pneumonia during the summer.

Ouch!

Yep, every spring around about tax time, pine pollen covers everything and everybody in the southeastern US. Great clouds of yellow dust meander across the road with the breeze. My backyard pool looks like a huge cauldron of East Indian curry. My car looses around half its power until I replace the air filter. And my black-and-white Springer Spaniel, well, we've just taken to calling him 'Ole Yeller'.

Allergy-wise, though, it's really not too bad. The particles are a lot bigger than hardwood pollens and hence don't cause most folks to sneeze all that much, at least not the people who grew up here. My mom moved here from Chicago when she was in her twenties and she never got used to it. It just makes my eyes water a little bit.

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/pinepollencurrysoup_zps515c317b.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/pinepollencurrysoup_zps515c317b.jpg.html)

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/yuk_zpse57bb47e.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/yuk_zpse57bb47e.jpg.html)

[SilentMute]

Okay, Athiest. Where is my Shirley Temple? And nobody better steal my cherry.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Ouch!

Yep, every spring around about tax time, pine pollen covers everything and everybody in the southeastern US. Great clouds of yellow dust meander across the road with the breeze. My backyard pool looks like a huge cauldron of East Indian curry. My car looses around half its power until I replace the air filter. And my black-and-white Springer Spaniel, well, we've just taken to calling him 'Ole Yeller'.

Allergy-wise, though, it's really not too bad. The particles are a lot bigger than hardwood pollens and hence don't cause most folks to sneeze all that much, at least not the people who grew up here. My mom moved here from Chicago when she was in her twenties and she never got used to it. It just makes my eyes water a little bit.

...

Haha "Ole Yeller"
Here it's the Cedar pollen that casts a yellow blanket on everything.


Okay, Athiest. Where is my Shirley Temple? And nobody better steal my cherry.

I see you found the bar. Parker... a round of "Shirley Temples" for the gals and "Roy Rogers" for the boys.

[SilentMute]

My mom's car is always being covered by insect spooge. I suppose we have pollen, since my allergies flare up. However, this stuff seems like the same stuff that covers our plants, and this seems to be due to insects. It is really annoying now, because I'm in the middle of painting the car. I'm putting on the clear coat, which is a real pain to apply. Sometimes the stuff attaches itself while the coat is still wet.

The birds approve of the car's new paint job. They've started to bomb the car again. When she had no paint (we call the car Selena--after Catwoman), they never touched her. I don't know whether they felt sorry for her because she had no paint and had rust holes in her, or whether birds are snobs and only want attractive canvases to display their poop. However, despite my many mistakes--the streaks, the less than perfectly applied bondo and such--they have condescended to poop on her. I supposed I should take it as a compliment.

[The Atheist]

Haha! That is brilliant!

I believe that's Parker bringing the ST right now.

Sancho - great pics. I'd be buying gas masks.

[soundofmusic]

Where the devil is my comment; I wrote like 2 pages...ah well, I'll try again.

[soundofmusic]

I've just got the first ealy potatoes in, along with some broad beans. Most of the greenhouse is now down the allotment, but I have to dig the foundation into a trench. I will get it built, but it will take a bit of time.

We have our Annual General Meeting this Friday too. I've got to deliver the chairman's report to the assembled crew. Should be ...er.. good.

I hope you'll put your speech on youtube; do you do any you tube videos anymore Paul?

:lol:

I know what you mean. Though I have the allotment, I only grow stuff that is easy - potatoes being one. Carrots just won't go for me.

I'll have to get some tips on potatos; the ones in the market lately stink. I like these little purple potatos...taste sort of like a cabbage, ever seen them?




Nice to see you grace the floors of this hallowed place once again.
.

Thank you, good to be with the coolest guys on the web.


We have the same problem, but for different reasons here. It's only rained three days since Xmas, instead of the average 30-odd. About 80% of the country has been declared an official drought zone.



I have two boys that get hay fever so badly they BOTH contracted pneumonia during the summer.



You see, I never think of the temperature - it's never too cold to plant here.

I've been watching the weather up your end of the planet - you have had it bad.



.

sorry to hear about the boys Atheist; I sometimes think we would all be alittle healthier with a bit of cold to kill the trees and the germs.


Okay, Athiest. Where is my Shirley Temple? And nobody better steal my cherry.

Gentlemen, meet my daughter...I wouldn't bother with the Shirley Temple though, she's legal, ask Parker to bring out the real stuff.


Haha "Ole Yeller"
Here it's the Cedar pollen that casts a yellow blanket on everything.



I see you found the bar. Parker... a round of "Shirley Temples" for the gals and "Roy Rogers" for the boys.

Throw in some Dale Evans and I'll sing along...Happy trails........to you....


Haha! That is brilliant!

I believe that's Parker bringing the ST right now.

.

Well, I guess we better plan another barbeque....

[The Atheist]

sorry to hear about the boys Atheist; I sometimes think we would all be alittle healthier with a bit of cold to kill the trees and the germs.

Yes, unfortunately, we live in one of those damned green belts, so there are trees everywhere. My suggestion that we cut 'em all down for carparks hasn't been well received.

A barbeque? Good idea.

And I believe Parker's found the Drambuie.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

....And I believe Parker's found the Drambuie.

I'll take that as my cue.
Remember this one posted sometime in the past in an effort to lure Jocky back ?...

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Family%20History/IMGP1834.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/Family%20History/IMGP1834.jpg.html)



^My maternal Czech Grandmother's Drambuie crate and dad's (he was mostly Scottish) bagpipe album
I'm telling you the two familiy's were meant for each other!

(the bottle was a more recent purchase by me in honor of Grandma)

[SilentMute]

A little hot for a barbeque, I think. Can't we stay indoors with the AC?

As for bringing out the good stuff, I may stick to non-alcoholic drinks. I hope this doesn't detract points from me being an honorary dude, but like Hop Frog...I get a little nutty with drinking. Remember what happened at Terry's wedding, mum? Take a sip of champagne, and the next minute I'm out on the dance floor with the bride--dancing backwards in high heels that I was wobbling in.:willy_nilly: It is amazing I didn't break my ankle.

Besides, someone probably should be the designated driver. Of course, I don't drive...maybe it shouldn't be me. However, I can at least tell you all who peed themselves and why you woke up with a swear word shaved in your head and a Tinkerbell tattoo.:biggrin5:

[Paulclem]

I hope you'll put your speech on youtube; do you do any you tube videos anymore Paul?


I'll have to get some tips on potatos; the ones in the market lately stink. I like these little purple potatos...taste sort of like a cabbage, ever seen them?



I'd quite forgotten about that. I'll have to do another sometime.

Not sure about the taties. There are loads of varieties though. I'm trying Pink Fir (not fur, which doesn't sound as appealing) Apple this year too. They are a very knobbly salad potato.

I've just finished my application for my boss' job. It took a lot of time. I've got that post application feeling now - y'know, the one where you don't care if you get an interview anymore. I'm going to have a cognac tonight with the footie. Yippee.

Scratch that. I'll have a Drambuie.

[prendrelemick]

During all that cold weather, I was walking through snow drifts to feed Fred-the-octogenarian's sheep and he would ply me with his home made sloe gin. That's gin, sugar and the friut of the blackthorn steeped together and matured for a year or so. I'd stagger home infused with a rosy glow, it's a very warming concoction.

[The Atheist]

I hope this doesn't detract points from me being an honorary dude, but like Hop Frog...I get a little nutty with drinking.

Not drinking alcohol is perfectly acceptable - gentlemen would never look down on someone who prefers their drinks alcohol-free.

Now, about that Tinkerbell tattoo - who's been telling tales??????

[The Atheist]

During all that cold weather, I was walking through snow drifts to feed Fred-the-octogenarian's sheep and he would ply me with his home made sloe gin. That's gin, sugar and the friut of the blackthorn steeped together and matured for a year or so. I'd stagger home infused with a rosy glow, it's a very warming concoction.

Ee by gum, you have the best sig line I've ever seen!

[SilentMute]

I hear in prisons that they do some mixture with Sunny Delight, which they allow to ferment under the toilet. I don't know if they have to add sugar or not. Anyway, I guess liquor is liquor to them.

Now, I am curious. Do people drink to get drunk...or do they actually like the taste of liquor? Now myself, I don't tend to drink liquor very much, but I do enjoy using it in my cooking. To many of the neighbors around my parts, what I do is perfectly criminal. However, liquor can transform an ordinary sauce into something quite divine.

Of course, I don't really expect someone who drinks fermented Sunny Delight, particularly that has been sitting under a prison toilet, to understand.

[Paulclem]

I hear in prisons that they do some mixture with Sunny Delight, which they allow to ferment under the toilet. I don't know if they have to add sugar or not. Anyway, I guess liquor is liquor to them.

Now, I am curious. Do people drink to get drunk...or do they actually like the taste of liquor? Now myself, I don't tend to drink liquor very much, but I do enjoy using it in my cooking. To many of the neighbors around my parts, what I do is perfectly criminal. However, liquor can transform an ordinary sauce into something quite divine.

Of course, I don't really expect someone who drinks fermented Sunny Delight, particularly that has been sitting under a prison toilet, to understand.

I used to drink for the effects - and taste was secondary. Now I drink little except in my coffee down the allotment and watching the football. I did have a great bottle of Jim Beam Bourbon with honey for Christmas, which I really liked, and I drank for the flavour. I'll ask for that again. I like spiced rum in coffee. Superb.

My Mother in Law once made a brilliant hot trifle with loads of sherry in it. It was great, and I like alcohol in cooking. My Grandma used to make really nice sherry trifles, and wine is great in gravy.

[prendrelemick]

It's for the effects - which are by no means all bad. We brits are a bit uptight, we use it for a social lubricant.

[The Atheist]

Now, I am curious. Do people drink to get drunk...or do they actually like the taste of liquor?

There's no hard & fast rule, although I think it's fair to say more young people drink to get drunk and don't care what does the trick.

From my own perspective, I don't drink any alcohol that isn't worth drinking in its own right: champagne, single-malt scotch, the occasional liqueur, a top-line brandy, an award-winning dark ale or a martini made by someone who knows how to make them. (like me) I haven't been drunk for close to 30 years, though.

I class booze as another sensual pleasure and special treat.

As Mick says, drinking a little to loosen up is fine, but there's a line most of us learn to stay inside when we get older. Some people never learn and I have alcoholic mates that drink 2 litres of wine a day.


Now myself, I don't tend to drink liquor very much, but I do enjoy using it in my cooking. To many of the neighbors around my parts, what I do is perfectly criminal. However, liquor can transform an ordinary sauce into something quite divine.

Hear hear!

I use a lot more alcohol in cooking than I do in drinking; there are few meals I cook that don't require at least a good splosh of wine.


Of course, I don't really expect someone who drinks fermented Sunny Delight, particularly that has been sitting under a prison toilet, to understand.

Pretty sure I could pass on that!

After the swine 'flu panic, our prisons introduced antiseptic handwash. The prison authorities forgot that it is made up of about 60% alcohol, but the prisoners didn't!

They don't use it now.

[soundofmusic]

Yes, unfortunately, we live in one of those damned green belts, so there are trees everywhere. My suggestion that we cut 'em all down for carparks hasn't been well received.

A barbeque? Good idea.

And I believe Parker's found the Drambuie.

I must admit, after trying to remove tons of vines and dead leaves from under several overgrown trees in our yard and having one which likes to drop a few branches on the roof each hurricane; I am all for cutting them all down. I'm just trying to decide whether to take the affordable route with the half blind Jamaican fellow that drinks a few cups of rum, waits until after dark and goes up side the tree with a chain saw in a cherry picker, or check out the fellows with insurance who want so much money I will have to put a lean against all Silent's future income...

Now, where to have the picnic...We could have a real southern picnic at Sanchos next to his pool, or...near Pauls shed; I think we might even find Jockey still in there. Drambuie, everyone is raving about it. I'm pretty sure any liquor I get over on your side of the pond would have me dancing on tables for days.


I'll take that as my cue.
Remember this one posted sometime in the past in an effort to lure Jocky back ?...



^My maternal Czech Grandmother's Drambuie crate and dad's (he was mostly Scottish) bagpipe album
I'm telling you the two familiy's were meant for each other!

(the bottle was a more recent purchase by me in honor of Grandma)

I think Jockey did come back for a bit didn't he? I think some of us just fall asleep at the computer keys after we come home from a days work or, in my case, loafing. I still can't quite get the appreciation of bagpipes and men in kilts. I saw a pic of Prince Charles and his dad in kilts...gracious, what a hideous site, it even overwhelmed my curiosity about what happens in Scotland with a bit of a wind storm.


A little hot for a barbeque, I think. Can't we stay indoors with the AC?

As for bringing out the good stuff, I may stick to non-alcoholic drinks. I hope this doesn't detract points from me being an honorary dude, but like Hop Frog...I get a little nutty with drinking. Remember what happened at Terry's wedding, mum? Take a sip of champagne, and the next minute I'm out on the dance floor with the bride--dancing backwards in high heels that I was wobbling in.:willy_nilly: It is amazing I didn't break my ankle.

Besides, someone probably should be the designated driver. Of course, I don't drive...maybe it shouldn't be me. However, I can at least tell you all who peed themselves and why you woke up with a swear word shaved in your head and a Tinkerbell tattoo.:biggrin5:

Yes, in those days, Silent needed a bit of Champagne to come out of her shell. Now, like her mother, she leaves the shell off and throws caution to the wind....
Hum, I don't think it was my head....any body know where my lady shick razor is; I need to check a blast from the past....

I'd quite forgotten about that. I'll have to do another sometime.


Not sure about the taties. There are loads of varieties though. I'm trying Pink Fir (not fur, which doesn't sound as appealing) Apple this year too. They are a very knobbly salad potato.

I've just finished my application for my boss' job. It took a lot of time. I've got that post application feeling now - y'know, the one where you don't care if you get an interview anymore. I'm going to have a cognac tonight with the footie. Yippee.

Scratch that. I'll have a Drambuie.

Yes, I thought your youtube skit was brilliant. Good luck with your application. I don't know why job interviews are such a process now; I can remember when you used to go into a place with a pair of short shorts and a itty bitty top, flirt with a manager and bang...you had a job...uh, don't try that fellows...Uh, you either Silent.

What's a footie?


During all that cold weather, I was walking through snow drifts to feed Fred-the-octogenarian's sheep and he would ply me with his home made sloe gin. That's gin, sugar and the friut of the blackthorn steeped together and matured for a year or so. I'd stagger home infused with a rosy glow, it's a very warming concoction.

I don't think after that, you'd notice if your toes were frozen; sounds devine.


Not drinking alcohol is perfectly acceptable - gentlemen would never look down on someone who prefers their drinks alcohol-free.

Now, about that Tinkerbell tattoo - who's been telling tales??????

I must admit, Silent's tales are always so inventive that I never mind hearing them, even when they are about me. Of course, in a few years, when I have Dementia...or more than I have now, it might be a little worrisome as I will believe them.



I hear in prisons that they do some mixture with Sunny Delight, which they allow to ferment under the toilet. I don't know if they have to add sugar or not. Anyway, I guess liquor is liquor to them.

Now, I am curious. Do people drink to get drunk...or do they actually like the taste of liquor? Now myself, I don't tend to drink liquor very much, but I do enjoy using it in my cooking. To many of the neighbors around my parts, what I do is perfectly criminal. However, liquor can transform an ordinary sauce into something quite divine.

Of course, I don't really expect someone who drinks fermented Sunny Delight, particularly that has been sitting under a prison toilet, to understand.

Silent is a fantastic cook for sure...I think she could out do Martha Stewart, even if she were in prison and only had Sunny Delight on hand.


I used to drink for the effects - and taste was secondary. Now I drink little except in my coffee down the allotment and watching the football. I did have a great bottle of Jim Beam Bourbon with honey for Christmas, which I really liked, and I drank for the flavour. I'll ask for that again. I like spiced rum in coffee. Superb.

My Mother in Law once made a brilliant hot trifle with loads of sherry in it. It was great, and I like alcohol in cooking. My Grandma used to make really nice sherry trifles, and wine is great in gravy.

Nothing is better than a bit of liquor in coffee...I like Kahlua in mine.


It's for the effects - which are by no means all bad. We brits are a bit uptight, we use it for a social lubricant.

Funny thing about the Brits and alcohol is that it never seems to dull the senses. Three hours after they're tipsy, they are still discussing politics.






Hear hear!

I use a lot more alcohol in cooking than I do in drinking; there are few meals I cook that don't require at least a good splosh of wine.



Pretty sure I could pass on that!

After the swine 'flu panic, our prisons introduced antiseptic handwash. The prison authorities forgot that it is made up of about 60% alcohol, but the prisoners didn't!

They don't use it now.

Atheist is a heck of a cook too; I think maybe we should have a cook off with Silent and Atheist...and whoever else cooks...all the local meals...

Really, antiseptic in the prisons?

[SilentMute]

Oh, yes! A cook-off! That would be fun! How about it, Athiest? We could even put it on Youtube! Nothing people love more than a reality show, particularly if someone has a foreign accent! Brits wouldn't need liquor if they watched more reality shows. Reality shows have been dumbing down America over the years that now people don't need to drink anymore to act like total idiots! They are already that way!

Here is my contribution--a real crowd-pleasing dish. And I don't need to cook it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-IprOS9jBY&list=PL3769DB1F5EFDC4BA&index=4

It is amazing how people can get to the point where they aren't particular where their alcohol comes from. I think I recall mom telling me about how her mother used to have to hide the shaving lotion and rubbing alcoholic when another relative came to visit because he used to try to drink it.

[Sancho]

...Now, where to have the picnic...We could have a real southern picnic at Sanchos next to his pool, or...near Pauls shed; I think we might even find Jockey still in there. Drambuie, everyone is raving about it. I'm pretty sure any liquor I get over on your side of the pond would have me dancing on tables for days...


Well then,

Come one - Come all
Big and Small
Short and Tall
Them and Y'all

- to the 1st annual Barn Dance, Barbecue, and Book-Club Shin-dig at El Sancho's Backyard Pool and Frog Pond.

It's gonna be a hoity-toity, high-class affair so dress appropriately - flip-flops and cut-offs for the gentlemen, tube tops and sweat pants for the ladies.

Bring the kiddies. There'll be free rides (aka El Sancho's tractor - psst, I've got a pasture that needs Bush-hogging). If your kids are small, bring two of 'em. One can steer and operate the PTO while the other one can work the pedals.

Mick can bring Fred-the-Octogenarian and Fred can bring a couple of jugs of his hooch.

Silent can bring the Sunny-D.

Paul is in charge of the salad bar.

And Gill is in charge of the Flaming Hookers and the bagpipes (hey-hey-hey, minds out of the gutter, one is a reeded instrument and the other is a drink made with Drambuie that just happens to be on fire).

Speaking of music, since it'll be such a high-class gathering there'll be a string quartet, which as you all know consists of a banjo, a fiddle, a guitar, and a one-string washtub-and-broomstick bass. Perhaps we should invite Emil.

I'll set up a couple of tables so's Sound-O can dance.

Atheist, we'll have it on Sunday. That way all the Evangelicals will be safely ensconced in their churches and we can sneak you out here without any nasty hullabaloo with the locals.

Well, that should do it.

Wait! Directions:
From the city of Atlanta, take U.S. 19/41 (Tara Blvd.) and go south. When you pass Scarlet O'Horror 's place you'll come a fork in the road - take it. Go past Roy-Gene's Pig Emporium and turn right, which is where you will depart the paved surface. You'll see a mobile-home park on your left and a Meth Lab on your right - keep going straight (don't slow down). My place will be another 10 miles down the way. You can't miss it. If it has just rained or something, 4WD may come in handy.

See you-all there.

[The Atheist]

Now, where to have the picnic...We could have a real southern picnic at Sanchos next to his pool, or...near Pauls shed; I think we might even find Jockey still in there. Drambuie, everyone is raving about it. I'm pretty sure any liquor I get over on your side of the pond would have me dancing on tables for days.


I think we've gone with Sancho's place. That hut smells!



I saw a pic of Prince Charles and his dad in kilts...gracious, what a hideous site, it even overwhelmed my curiosity about what happens in Scotland with a bit of a wind storm.

Thanks!

Now I need to bleach my brain!



I must admit, Silent's tales are always so inventive that I never mind hearing them, even when they are about me. Of course, in a few years, when I have Dementia...or more than I have now, it might be a little worrisome as I will believe them.

Nah, you'll forget about 2 minutes later.




Really, antiseptic in the prisons?

Stupid eh?

It's not as though prisoners are the cleanest people and needed it.

[The Atheist]

See you-all there.

I'm on my way!

[The Atheist]

Oh, yes! A cook-off! That would be fun! How about it, Athiest?

Sure, I'll be a starter!

As it happens, I've been posting recipes lately for people who can't afford to spend a lot of money. Tasty, nutritious food that people seem to be too stupid to figure out for themselves.

Have a look around (http://charman.co.nz/investigations/povertynzrecipe.htm) - there are still more to come, but remember, this is the cheap stuff. When I'm in cooking mode, it's fillet steak all the way!

[prendrelemick]

Here's a dish I made last night. (Mrs P is at her Mother's)

Take one lump of dead sheep, put in a pot with potatoes.

Put it in Aga at bed time.

Take it out in the morning.

Eat throughout the day, until wife returns.

[SilentMute]

@Athiest--the fish cakes sound good! We are always looking for new ways to cook salmon.

Okay, I need to ask...the Flaming Hookers. Are they as interesting as their name implies...or is this another case where the Brits have used a term for an ordinary object that has a totally different meaning in America? You know...fags are cigarettes and a pussy is a sweet old lady (I think)...two terms that have totally different meanings in America. You cannot imagine what I was thinking when I heard that Robbie Williams song where he croons, "My breath smells like a thousand fags" (I didn't realize he meant cigarettes).

Anyway, I don't want to make an arse of myself, so I hope you gents will be good enough to enlighten me. Don't want to go to Sancho's place with a bunch of kiddies around with a certain expectation of what a Flaming Hooker is, and then find out it is the name of your lawnmower or something.

[cafolini]

@Athiest--the fish cakes sound good! We are always looking for new ways to cook salmon.

Okay, I need to ask...the Flaming Hookers. Are they as interesting as their name implies...or is this another case where the Brits have used a term for an ordinary object that has a totally different meaning in America? You know...fags are cigarettes and a pussy is a sweet old lady (I think)...two terms that have totally different meanings in America. You cannot imagine what I was thinking when I heard that Robbie Williams song where he croons, "My breath smells like a thousand fags" (I didn't realize he meant cigarettes).

Anyway, I don't want to make an arse of myself, so I hope you gents will be good enough to enlighten me. Don't want to go to Sancho's place with a bunch of kiddies around with a certain expectation of what a Flaming Hooker is, and then find out it is the name of your lawnmower or something.

Some good points for rolling on floor. LMAO!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Well then,

Come one - Come all
Big and Small
Short and Tall
Them and Y'all

- to the 1st annual Barn Dance, Barbecue, and Book-Club Shin-dig at El Sancho's Backyard Pool and Frog Pond.

It's gonna be a hoity-toity, high-class affair so dress appropriately - flip-flops and cut-offs for the gentlemen, tube tops and sweat pants for the ladies.

Bring the kiddies. There'll be free rides (aka El Sancho's tractor - psst, I've got a pasture that needs Bush-hogging). If your kids are small, bring two of 'em. One can steer and operate the PTO while the other one can work the pedals.

Mick can bring Fred-the-Octogenarian and Fred can bring a couple of jugs of his hooch.

Silent can bring the Sunny-D.

Paul is in charge of the salad bar.

And Gill is in charge of the Flaming Hookers and the bagpipes (hey-hey-hey, minds out of the gutter, one is a reeded instrument and the other is a drink made with Drambuie that just happens to be on fire).

Speaking of music, since it'll be such a high-class gathering there'll be a string quartet, which as you all know consists of a banjo, a fiddle, a guitar, and a one-string washtub-and-broomstick bass. Perhaps we should invite Emil.

I'll set up a couple of tables so's Sound-O can dance.

Atheist, we'll have it on Sunday. That way all the Evangelicals will be safely ensconced in their churches and we can sneak you out here without any nasty hullabaloo with the locals.

Well, that should do it.

Wait! Directions:
From the city of Atlanta, take U.S. 19/41 (Tara Blvd.) and go south. When you pass Scarlet O'Horror 's place you'll come a fork in the road - take it. Go past Roy-Gene's Pig Emporium and turn right, which is where you will depart the paved surface. You'll see a mobile-home park on your left and a Meth Lab on your right - keep going straight (don't slow down). My place will be another 10 miles down the way. You can't miss it. If it has just rained or something, 4WD may come in handy.

See you-all there.

Don't forget the guns, diesel fuel and fireworks, I'll bring that along with the Drambuie, pipes and my son's fiddle.

[Sancho]

...Okay, I need to ask...the Flaming Hookers. Are they as interesting as their name implies...Don't want to go to Sancho's place with a bunch of kiddies around with a certain expectation of what a Flaming Hooker is, and then find out it is the name of your lawnmower or something.

Well, a Flaming Hooker is totally on the up and up. It's not a lawn machine or even a major kitchen appliance (both of which are considered high art when used as yard decorations in my area).

A Flaming Hooker is simply a shooter of Drambuie that some clever soul decided to light on fire. So you have to overcome your instinct that it's wrong to drink something that's ablaze. It's not really a good sippin' drink. The trick is to toss it back quickly. Also it's not a bad idea to have somebody who's pretty handy with a halon extinguisher near by.

I was introduced to the concept when I was a much younger man and was drinking in a bar with a bunch of other military aviators. I proved that poor technique could actually lead to lighting one's self on fire. I also demonstrated that Nomex is not nearly as flame resistant as they told us it was.

'Tis a silly drink.

[Sancho]

Don't forget the guns, diesel fuel and fireworks, I'll bring that along with the Drambuie, pipes and my son's fiddle.

Good thinking, Gill. Plenty of guns and chainsaws here already, but I'll need to drive across the state line for the fireworks. I know a guy named 'Lefty' over in Alabama who can hook us up.

[Calidore]

Good thinking, Gill. Plenty of guns and chainsaws here already, but I'll need to drive across the state line for the fireworks. I know a guy named 'Lefty' over in Alabama who can hook us up.

Sounds like "Lefty" needs to be more careful with the fireworks.

[The Atheist]

Ok, this is some party we have going here!

When are we doing this? Is there such a thing as a convenient time for everyone?

I can see how we could have a party with pics.

Work on GMT and put in convenient times - I'm the sole GMT + 12 guy and I can do anytime at all. I'm guessing afternoon for the UK residents would work out as evening or night in USA.

[SilentMute]

Well, a Flaming Hooker is totally on the up and up. It's not a lawn machine or even a major kitchen appliance (both of which are considered high art when used as yard decorations in my area).

A Flaming Hooker is simply a shooter of Drambuie that some clever soul decided to light on fire. So you have to overcome your instinct that it's wrong to drink something that's ablaze. It's not really a good sippin' drink. The trick is to toss it back quickly. Also it's not a bad idea to have somebody who's pretty handy with a halon extinguisher near by.

I was introduced to the concept when I was a much younger man and was drinking in a bar with a bunch of other military aviators. I proved that poor technique could actually lead to lighting one's self on fire. I also demonstrated that Nomex is not nearly as flame resistant as they told us it was.

'Tis a silly drink.

Oh, its like Bananas Jubilee...except you drink it. Wow! Totally not what I was thinking it was...thanks for explaining, Sancho. You saved me loads of embarrassment.

I guess I'm going to have to get over my fear of fireworks if I'm going to hang out with guys. They always like things that explode. Me, I suffered from too many of those school...er...things (I forgot the name--it is on the tip of my tongue). Anyway, they always had Mr. Policeman or Mr. Fire Fighter come in and tell us about how little Timmy blew off his hand or his dog's jaw by not handling fireworks properly.

Do they do this in other countries? Schools were always obsessed with telling us how we could die--perverts, lightening, fire, fire crackers, household cleaners, drugs, sex, etc. They also seemed to indicate you are more likely to die if you are a blonde, blue-eyed Caucasian girl.

As for the party time...my schedule is pretty free.

[Sancho]

There's gonna be some singin' and some dancin'.

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zps17805176.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zps17805176.jpg.html)

[Paulclem]

What about live music? I can keep a passable beat on the drums if someone can play guitar.

[prendrelemick]

Mariarchi !

[Sancho]

Now your talking!
http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zps616cefd8.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zps616cefd8.jpg.html)
Did somebody say Tequila?

[The Atheist]

Just the same here.


[QUOTE=Paulclem;1214430]What about live music? I can keep a passable beat on the drums if someone can play guitar.

If Twinkle, Twinkle's ok, I can play that on a xylophone. Will that do, or should we stick to the stereo?

We need a music theme so I can download appropriate music.

Barbeque, Flaming Hookers & Shirley Temples... this is going to take some figuring. Old country? Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash style?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...Did somebody say Tequila?



We need a music theme so I can download appropriate music.

Barbeque, Flaming Hookers & Shirley Temples... this is going to take some figuring. Old country? Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash style?

Tequila = Tijuana Brass...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPalYwLyEvw

When the clock strikes 2 (AM) I suggest this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99iilHIn0GA

[prendrelemick]

Perhaps a Bagpipe Mariarchi band; -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EZoaKO17lE




I love the internet.

[soundofmusic]

Oh, yes! A cook-off! That would be fun! How about it, Athiest? We could even put it on Youtube! Nothing people love more than a reality show, particularly if someone has a foreign accent! Brits wouldn't need liquor if they watched more reality shows. Reality shows have been dumbing down America over the years that now people don't need to drink anymore to act like total idiots! They are already that way!

Here is my contribution--a real crowd-pleasing dish. And I don't need to cook it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-IprOS9jBY&list=PL3769DB1F5EFDC4BA&index=4


It was delicious; but don't eat it just before Sunday morning on the wooden pews.


Well then,

Come one - Come all
Big and Small
Short and Tall
Them and Y'all

- to the 1st annual Barn Dance, Barbecue, and Book-Club Shin-dig at El Sancho's Backyard Pool and Frog Pond.

It's gonna be a hoity-toity, high-class affair so dress appropriately - flip-flops and cut-offs for the gentlemen, tube tops and sweat pants for the ladies.

Bring the kiddies. There'll be free rides (aka El Sancho's tractor - psst, I've got a pasture that needs Bush-hogging). If your kids are small, bring two of 'em. One can steer and operate the PTO while the other one can work the pedals.

Mick can bring Fred-the-Octogenarian and Fred can bring a couple of jugs of his hooch.

Silent can bring the Sunny-D.

Paul is in charge of the salad bar.

And Gill is in charge of the Flaming Hookers and the bagpipes (hey-hey-hey, minds out of the gutter, one is a reeded instrument and the other is a drink made with Drambuie that just happens to be on fire).

Speaking of music, since it'll be such a high-class gathering there'll be a string quartet, which as you all know consists of a banjo, a fiddle, a guitar, and a one-string washtub-and-broomstick bass. Perhaps we should invite Emil.

I'll set up a couple of tables so's Sound-O can dance.

Atheist, we'll have it on Sunday. That way all the Evangelicals will be safely ensconced in their churches and we can sneak you out here without any nasty hullabaloo with the locals.

Well, that should do it.

Wait! Directions:
From the city of Atlanta, take U.S. 19/41 (Tara Blvd.) and go south. When you pass Scarlet O'Horror 's place you'll come a fork in the road - take it. Go past Roy-Gene's Pig Emporium and turn right, which is where you will depart the paved surface. You'll see a mobile-home park on your left and a Meth Lab on your right - keep going straight (don't slow down). My place will be another 10 miles down the way. You can't miss it. If it has just rained or something, 4WD may come in handy.

See you-all there.

I think I made the wrong turn past Scarletts, last sign said Oakfenokee swamp...next thing I know, the car is shoulder deep in orange water...I guess I knocked over Silents SunnyD still, anyway, she just rowed by with a smiling alligator in tow, playing her violin...I think she was singing "If the log rolls over....



It's not as though prisoners are the cleanest people and needed it.

I guess there is something about a 5X6 cell and using ones toilet as a stove that plays havoc on hygiene haha


Here's a dish I made last night. (Mrs P is at her Mother's)

Take one lump of dead sheep, put in a pot with potatoes.

Put it in Aga at bed time.

Take it out in the morning.

Eat throughout the day, until wife returns.

Mrs P come home.....

[soundofmusic]

Ok, this is some party we have going here!

When are we doing this? Is there such a thing as a convenient time for everyone?

I can see how we could have a party with pics.

Work on GMT and put in convenient times - I'm the sole GMT + 12 guy and I can do anytime at all. I'm guessing afternoon for the UK residents would work out as evening or night in USA.

I guess time shouldn't matter, any party worth having should go on for a week. How about it Sancho, can "your ma and them" put us up for a spell?


Don't forget the guns, diesel fuel and fireworks, I'll bring that along with the Drambuie, pipes and my son's fiddle.

I'll bring daddies German Mauser....ah, brings a tear to my eye


What about live music? I can keep a passable beat on the drums if someone can play guitar.

We'll have to practice together a bit Paul so that I can get my dance routine going with your drum beat....


Tequila = Tijuana Brass...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPalYwLyEvw

When the clock strikes 2 (AM) I suggest this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99iilHIn0GA

I had such a crush on Herb...

[SilentMute]

@mom--I think you drank some of that Sunny D, mum. I do not recall rowing by, playing a violin, with a grinning alligator, and singing...unless I drank it and don't remember.

As for a live band, I recommend this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYj427Pm1AE&list=PL1ABA9705BFE0AFC8&index=1

And his pal comes with a keyboard, drums, and tambourine! Of course, the red furry one may have some difficulty in attending. He is embroiled in some legal trouble at the moment. :/

[SilentMute]

Okay, after sampling the proposed music, I have decided I better start becoming a drinker. There is no way I am going to do the Tijuana Tequila dance sober, and bagpipes are something that are just hard to appreciate to someone who didn't grow up with them.

[cafolini]

In Mexico, near Guadalajara, there is a town, Tequila, from where Tequila, the drink, got its name. There they do a demostration of how the best Tequila is suppose to behave. They dip a tsp in it and throw the contents up in the air. The best Tequila evaporates and not a drop hits the ground.

[Sancho]

So here's the musical ensemble we've assembled so far. Say, is that Sounds dancing on the table up top?

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zps8f54e7d9.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zps8f54e7d9.jpg.html)

For anybody still undecided about whether or not to come to 1st Annual Barn Dance Barbecue and Book Club Shebang, did I mention there will be beer?
http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zpsc7dbc458.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zpsc7dbc458.jpg.html)

[islandclimber]

Beer. What sort of beer? Something good? Yes? No?

[The Atheist]

I guess time shouldn't matter, any party worth having should go on for a week.

Sounds good to me, let's start now then!

[The Atheist]

Beer. What sort of beer? Something good? Yes? No?

Definitely good beer. Microbrewery only from me.

[islandclimber]

Definitely good beer. Microbrewery only from me.

This sounds good. No theistic beers though, right? I'll bring along some of Vancouver Island's finest. Yes, somehow we have some decent microbreweries on Vancouver Island. Also, maybe a few from Unibroue (http://www.unibroue.com/en/beers/family/actuelles). I've always adored La Fin Du Monde, Trois Pistoles, Maudite, Raftman, etc.

[Sancho]

Splendid! Western Canada is represented.

For the beer drinkers, weird old Uncle Ned will be holding a puke-through-the-nose-for-volume-and-distance contest around about midnight Eastern Daylight Time (GMT-4).

[prendrelemick]

I'll run the weeing contest out the back - points for distance, accuracy AND duration.

[islandclimber]

I'll run the weeing contest out the back - points for distance, accuracy AND duration.

How about points for colour? Yellows, greens, reds, browns?

[prendrelemick]

In my Ex-spurt opinion, good Idea

[Sancho]

^Ha!

There'll be a relief map depicting where the outhouse is.

Also, we're looking for volunteers to do a stage presentation about puns, or maybe it'll just be a play on words.

[prendrelemick]

your inalienably correct sancho.





Right I'll stop now.

[SilentMute]

Not to change the topic, but one of my mom's friends sent this to her--and I thought it was too funny not to share.

RETIRED HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to TESCO.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'..
This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layby

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6 In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

[soundofmusic]

@mom--I think you drank some of that Sunny D, mum. I do not recall rowing by, playing a violin, with a grinning alligator, and singing...unless I drank it and don't remember.

As for a live band, I recommend this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYj427Pm1AE&list=PL1ABA9705BFE0AFC8&index=1

And his pal comes with a keyboard, drums, and tambourine! Of course, the red furry one may have some difficulty in attending. He is embroiled in some legal trouble at the moment. :/

Didn't I tell you, dementia is hereditary...

Have you noticed all the best American singers wind up in sex scandals....now it's Elmo.


Sounds good to me, let's start now then!

Well, I'm about to run to work; but I will definitely be needing a week long party afterwards.


I'll run the weeing contest out the back - points for distance, accuracy AND duration.

I don't quite have the equipment, so can I be one of the judges. Can I take off points for how long it takes to get started.


How about points for colour? Yellows, greens, reds, browns?

Ha ha, In my vast experience, I've seen yellow, orange and red...I don't think I even want to widen my horizens.



In my Ex-spurt opinion, good Idea


Haha.

Not to change the topic, but one of my mom's friends sent this to her--and I thought it was too funny not to share.

RETIRED HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to TESCO.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'..
This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layby

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6 In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Loved it....I am thinking that fellow would be a blast at home, never boring.

Five characters (I got a message this was too short)

[The Atheist]

Not to change the topic, but one of my mom's friends sent this to her--and I thought it was too funny not to share.

Brilliant! Stolen.


Well, I'm about to run to work; but I will definitely be needing a week long party afterwards.

I'll keep the men warm and the wine cold for ya!



I don't quite have the equipment, so can I be one of the judges. Can I take off points for how long it takes to get started.

Ouch.

Having a lovely case of hyperprostatism, I will be failing on all counts.

I think we'd better try watermelon seed-spitting.

[Hawkman]

Can I crash your party? I can bring a friend!

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=8742&d=1366537024

and I can supply a novelty act. If you don't like it we can put in the burgers.

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=8743&d=1366537028

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Can I crash your party? I can bring a friend!

...and I can supply a novelty act. If you don't like it we can put in the burgers.

...

Haha!
I wonder which head calls the shots when a hungry lion is hot on your hoofs?

.....

Now this next item is truly worthy of its own thread, but I figured it would fit in fine here and besides, it gives us even more reason to celebrate...

According to Wikipedia under "On This Day" in history category we have three events we must bring attention to:

753 BC – Romulus and Remus founded Rome, according to the calculations by Roman scholar Varro Reatinus.


1509 – Henry VIII (pictured) became King of England, following the death of his father Henry VII, eventually becoming a significant figure in the history of the English monarchy.

The 3rd and most important event in history:

1836 – Texan forces led by Sam Houston defeated General Antonio López de Santa Anna and his Mexican troops in the Battle of San Jacinto near La Porte, the decisive battle in the Texas Revolution.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1d/SantaAnnaSurrender.jpg

^Santa Anna is standing in the white breeches, Sam Houston is on blanket due to injury and Deaf Smith is on one knee straining to hear with hand cupped at ear.

[Sancho]

Hawkman's in! (with friends) Bienvendidos amigo.

Silent, we've gotta get Harris on board for the hoedown. It just won't be the same without him.

Update: We've had a minor setback in the preparations. Lefty was on his way from Alabama in his truck when:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/leftyst_zps45f96e2d.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/leftyst_zps45f96e2d.jpg.html)

First let me say that Lefty's okay. He's complaining about a ringing in his ears, but otherwise he didn't get a scratch. He says it'll be a while before he gets his truck running again, and it looks like we'll to have to find our fireworks for the shindig elsewhere.

^maybe in the Republic of Texas

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...it looks like we'll to have to find our fireworks for the shindig elsewhere.

^maybe in the Republic of Texas

As a matter of fact your pic may be from Texas. The Czech settlement town of "West" recently experienced a massive ammonium nitrate (fertilizer) factory explosion. Tragically, several people died with much destrcution of property. I just read that some residents are only now being allowed to return to their homes (or what's left of them).

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-texas-czech-west-20130418,0,3395326.story

West, by the way, is the home of the great Czech Stop adjacent to Hwy 35. Nearly every time I pass that way, I must stop to get a dozen Kolaches.
I hope West is still able to hold the annual "West Fest" Czech festival this year (Labor Day weekend). It would be a great opportunity for the community to bond, have fun -respite from the tragedy and great fund raising opportunity through donations from the thousands who typically join in the celebration.

Anyway, we're here to party.
Lefty...better let me handle the fireworks...

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/th_IMGP2958.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/IMGP2958.jpg.html)

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/IMGP2959cropped.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/IMGP2959cropped.jpg.html)

[SilentMute]

Alas, I too lack the equipment for the peeing contest...which is a pity, for my large bladder does have a long duration. Now, if there is an event of how often you have to go, my mom and I--I am certain--will leave you fellows in the dust. I think we have an advantage there being girls, who for some reason, were designed to constantly have to run to the bathroom. Maybe the powers that be believed we needed an excuse to powder our noses.

I used to be quite good at drinking liquids and blowing them out my nose, which earned me some fame in my grade school days. However, I once tried to do it with a Coca-cola, and that was painful.

I should mention that my invisible friend has decided to crash the party. If you guys see me talking to myself, I assure you I am not having a psychotic break...I'm just talking to my invisible friend. However, for the other guests who don't quite know me, can you just tell them I have Bluetooth so I don't get a reputation.

[Hawkman]

Seeing as some people seem to be careless with matches, Silent Mute's bladder might come in handy if the local fire department aren't on hand!

[Sancho]

Seeing as some people seem to be careless with matches...

Indeed, Gill has always had a dubious relationship with fire.


...Anyway, we're here to party.
Lefty...better let me handle the fireworks...

That'd be like putting a junkie in charge of the stash...Perfect! It's all yours, amigo. Easy on the ammonium nitrate and diesel mix - that crazy concoction has an unholy history in your region.


...I should mention that my invisible friend has decided to crash the party. If you guys see me talking to myself, I assure you I am not having a psychotic break...I'm just talking to my invisible friend. However, for the other guests who don't quite know me, can you just tell them I have Bluetooth so I don't get a reputation.

No worries, Silent, we'll just tell everybody you're speaking in tongues. That way you'll fit right it around here. I'll tell Weird Ole Uncle Ned to bring his serpents.


...Maybe the powers that be believed we needed an excuse to powder our noses...


'Fraid the only power that be around here is serendipity. We's a total democracy.

So, when shall we throw this shebang-a-bang? I was thinking Independence Day Weekend would work well with the fireworks and all, but then it occurred to me that the Brits don't celebrate the 4th of July. I'm not sure why.

So how about the first weekend in May? We all shared a common struggle commemorated by VE Day.

[cafolini]

SilentMute. Do you realize that you could teach classes on how to pour Marrocan tea from a height of two yards?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Indeed, Gill has always had a dubious relationship with fire.

That'd be like putting a junkie in charge of the stash...Perfect! It's all yours, amigo. Easy on the ammonium nitrate and diesel mix - that crazy concoction has an unholy history in your region.

...

A sampling of my credentials...

Step 1

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/th_IMGP2911.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/IMGP2911.jpg.html)

Step 2 (Mozartgeist was pre soaked with diesel)

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/th_IMGP2916.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/IMGP2916.jpg.html)

Step 3
http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/th_IMGP2924.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/New%20Year%20Celebration%20Jan%202013/IMGP2924.jpg.html)


Speaking of Westfest and music for the gathering, how about something to remember our suffering neighbors just to the south of DFW:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=520DMStnK4I


.

[SilentMute]

I never thought that my bladder could come in handy. Well, it is totally at the service of the fire department, anyone wanting Moraccan tea, or lemon slushies. :D

I'm a bit ticked! We got a new computer, and our scanner has never worked properly since. It turns out it isn't compatible with Windows 8, and it doesn't work on the old computer ( which is now in my room)...I guess maybe there is an electricity problem there. God, sometimes I really wonder if technology really improves our lives. How much time every year am I spending over technical issues, I ask you?

[cafolini]

Your bladder has all kinds of uses. You can lend to a fascist Spaniard (not difficult to find). He takes a bath in the desert by standing on his two arms and peeing toward the sky.

[The Atheist]

Crikey, if the preparations are anything to go by, this will be the biggest bang since the big one!


So, when shall we throw this shebang-a-bang? I was thinking Independence Day Weekend would work well with the fireworks and all, but then it occurred to me that the Brits don't celebrate the 4th of July. I'm not sure why.

It is quite strange, especially given that the day Brits do do fireworks is the anniversary of the day Guy Fawkes failed to blow up Parliament.

Imagine how big the celebrations would be if he'd succeeded.

Silent - I'm glad you'll be there on hand with this load of firebugs on hand - if it was good enough for Gulliver to put out the palace fire, you can definitely handle a couple of fireworks.

Timing?

How about good old 1st of May - the start of summer for you northerners, and the start of winter for me and any other antipodeans. It's not as if winter's all that bad down here, so quite happy to celebrate the coming of summer!

If we start 1 May, we can kick off by watching some real fireworks parade through the streets of Pyongyang and Moscow. Finish in time for mother's day.

[Sancho]

Perfect! May Day it is. This thing could well run until the Summer Solstice, or in your case, A', the Winter Solstice. May Day may also come in handy as a general warning for when Gill torches off the fireworks - "MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY, I appear to be on fire." Silent, we'd better keep you close to Gill at all times whenever he has a box of matches in his hands.

Anyhow, for the whippersnappers, I've got volley-ball and soft-ball games set up followed by lunch, which runs concurrent with the watermelon-seed spitting contest. Directly after lunch, I figure we can let them go swimming down at the lake. There's a great game of my own devising we like to play down there. It's called Lake Idiot. Here's how it works: you get one kid (usually the dimmest one) to tread water in the lake while the other kids line up on the cliff and try to cannon-ball the kid in the water (the lake idiot). It's simple and yet fun to play. Only occasionally does one of 'em sink.

When the youngsters go down to the lake, it'll leave the ball diamond free for the adults. This is a throw-down, a mash-up, a smack-down whatever you want to call it. Us Base-ballers (The Americas and Japan) challenge you Cricketeers (The Commonwealth) to a game of Bean Ball. Gird your loins. Helmets not required.

BTW, this is Bean (that's really her name), and that is Bean's Ball:
http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/beanball_zps0fb2f17d.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/beanball_zps0fb2f17d.jpg.html)

Live music update: The Rolling Stones cancelled on me (as did Odie and Odious Oompa band), so if you own a musical instrument - bring it. We'll make our own music. It's more fun like that anyway.

Good Food, Good Music, Good Friends, and Great Fun.

[SilentMute]

How come I get the idea that Lake Idiot was developed by someone who was really into belated Planned Parenthood?

[soundofmusic]

I'll keep the men warm and the wine cold for ya!




Having a lovely case of hyperprostatism, I will be failing on all counts.

I think we'd better try watermelon seed-spitting.

So good to see the men are all warmed with Drambouie. Ah yes, watermelon seed spitting does sound a bit more equal opportunity; though, I'm not sure we grow watermelons with seeds anymore.
Oh guys, it was tough at work, yet another group of people with no chairs, silverware, plates or toilet paper....


Can I crash your party? I can bring a friend!

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=8742&d=1366537024

and I can supply a novelty act. If you don't like it we can put in the burgers.

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=8743&d=1366537028

Wow Hawkman, where did you did up my mother in law from, I thought she had passed.


Haha!
I wonder which head calls the shots when a hungry lion is hot on your hoofs?

.....

Now this next item is truly worthy of its own thread, but I figured it would fit in fine here and besides, it gives us even more reason to celebrate...

According to Wikipedia under "On This Day" in history category we have three events we must bring attention to:

753 BC – Romulus and Remus founded Rome, according to the calculations by Roman scholar Varro Reatinus.


1509 – Henry VIII (pictured) became King of England, following the death of his father Henry VII, eventually becoming a significant figure in the history of the English monarchy.

The 3rd and most important event in history:

1836 – Texan forces led by Sam Houston defeated General Antonio López de Santa Anna and his Mexican troops in the Battle of San Jacinto near La Porte, the decisive battle in the Texas Revolution.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1d/SantaAnnaSurrender.jpg

^Santa Anna is standing in the white breeches, Sam Houston is on blanket due to injury and Deaf Smith is on one knee straining to hear with hand cupped at ear.

Well, in my experience, with most big things, the head is never calling the shots. Ah let's celebrate Dear Henry and the Twins...kind of lost in American history.

Hawkman's in! (with friends) Bienvendidos amigo.

Silent, we've gotta get Harris on board for the hoedown. It just won't be the same without him.

Update: We've had a minor setback in the preparations. Lefty was on his way from Alabama in his truck when:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/leftyst_zps45f96e2d.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/leftyst_zps45f96e2d.jpg.html)

First let me say that Lefty's okay. He's complaining about a ringing in his ears, but otherwise he didn't get a scratch. He says it'll be a while before he gets his truck running again, and it looks like we'll to have to find our fireworks for the shindig elsewhere.

^maybe in the Republic of Texas

Was it lefty that got that pole blown into the top of his head, has plenty of fire power, just can't remember where he left it.


Alas, I too lack the equipment for the peeing contest...which is a pity, for my large bladder does have a long duration. Now, if there is an event of how often you have to go, my mom and I--I am certain--will leave you fellows in the dust. I think we have an advantage there being girls, who for some reason, were designed to constantly have to run to the bathroom. Maybe the powers that be believed we needed an excuse to powder our noses.

I used to be quite good at drinking liquids and blowing them out my nose, which earned me some fame in my grade school days. However, I once tried to do it with a Coca-cola, and that was painful.

I should mention that my invisible friend has decided to crash the party. If you guys see me talking to myself, I assure you I am not having a psychotic break...I'm just talking to my invisible friend. However, for the other guests who don't quite know me, can you just tell them I have Bluetooth so I don't get a reputation.

I don't know if I'd let her invisible friend come to the party, he's totally out of control. He is always telling jokes when I walk naked from the shower to my room.

[soundofmusic]

Seeing as some people seem to be careless with matches, Silent Mute's bladder might come in handy if the local fire department aren't on hand!
I always say, there is a South park for every occasion.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/104263/the-boys-pee-on-their-teacher

[prendrelemick]

Ok, ok enough is enough. I don't want to be a wet blanket but this party is beginning to sound a little dangerous - fire, guns, explosives, alcohol,high velocity melon seeds.

I think we are going to need the emergency services in attendance.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/1989_baywatch_006_zps897373f1.jpg (http://s85.photobucket.com/user/prendrelemick/media/1989_baywatch_006_zps897373f1.jpg.html)

[Hawkman]

I'm all for the dancing girls, but don't let the Hoff sing! :D

Sound: Well the idea was ok, the kids just didn't have big enough bladders :D

and by the way, which one is your Mother in law? If we're dealing with reincarnation here it could be hard to tell, but I can tell you that the giraffe is a bull, cause I checked. Can't say for certain about the two-headed zebra. ;)

Is there any chance we can book ZZ Top? the way they spin their instruments is soooo cooool!

[SilentMute]

Tell David Hasselhoff to come in his cool car Kitt...oh, wait, wrong series. And absolutely under no circumstances do we allow him to sing. He was cute in his day and had a neat car, but not a great singer.

[Hawkman]

We could just invite the car :D

[Sancho]

How come I get the idea that Lake Idiot was developed by someone who was really into belated Planned Parenthood?

I watched a game of Lake Idiot once where the tables were turned. The idiot donned a football helmet (hard plastic, American-style Football helmet) and started aiming his head at the cannonballers. It never occurred to me until that moment that somebody could actually change their trajectory in flight. Those who couldn't suffered a few of broken ribs. What a game.


...Was it lefty that got that pole blown into the top of his head, has plenty of fire power, just can't remember where he left it...

That was Phineas Gage, Lefty's great grandpappy. Phineas was a demolitions expert for the railroad. One day he was basting rock when a charge went off prematurely, driving a metal rod through his cheek and out the top of his head, taking his left eye and much of his frontal lobe with it. He survived. In fact, I don't think he even lost consciousness. He did have dramatic personality change afterwards though. < That's a true story (except for the Lefty part)


Ok, ok enough is enough. I don't want to be a wet blanket but this party is beginning to sound a little dangerous - fire, guns, explosives, alcohol,high velocity melon seeds.

I think we are going to need the emergency services in attendance.

Safety's for sissies. Unless, of course,the first responders are wearing a red spandex one-piece.

Help! Help! I'm in need of assistance!

[islandclimber]

I'm all for the dancing girls, but don't let the Hoff sing! :D


You mean no Hooked On a Feeling? If we could get a reenactment of this video it might be worth it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQVlVHsFF8

[prendrelemick]

That was Phineas Gage, Lefty's great grandpappy. Phineas was a demolitions expert for the railroad. One day he was basting rock when a charge went off prematurely, driving a metal rod through his cheek and out the top of his head, taking his left eye and much of his frontal lobe with it. He survived. In fact, I don't think he even lost consciousness. He did have dramatic personality change afterwards though. < That's a true story (except for the Lefty part)




Then there was his maternal Uncle ol' Hop-along-one-eyed-stumpy-the-eunuch.

[prendrelemick]

You mean no Hooked On a Feeling? If we could get a reenactment of this video it might be worth it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQVlVHsFF8

Respect to The Hoff! That could be the greatest music vid I've ever seen

[Sancho]

Then there was his maternal Uncle ol' Hop-along-one-eyed-stumpy-the-eunuch.

"Lucky," for short.

As for Hoff's video, I can do the Ooga-Ooga-Ooga-Shakas

[The Atheist]

This party's going to be so good I think even Hoff singing couldn't dampen it. We can always use him as the first target at Lake Idiot anyway. With all the alcohol about, he'll be drunk after the first half hour anyway.


Oh guys, it was tough at work, yet another group of people with no chairs, silverware, plates or toilet paper....

You can stay for whole duration; you sound like you could do with a week of relaxation, debauchery & booze.

And gentlemen.



Is there any chance we can book ZZ Top? the way they spin their instruments is soooo cooool!

Now we're talking!

The watermelon-seed spitting will get them along for sure.

I've booked Muse for the last night.

(I'm not sure buying copious fireworks is a good idea right now!)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Ok, ok enough is enough. I don't want to be a wet blanket but this party is beginning to sound a little dangerous - fire, guns, explosives, alcohol,high velocity melon seeds.

I think we are going to need the emergency services in attendance.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/1989_baywatch_006_zps897373f1.jpg (http://s85.photobucket.com/user/prendrelemick/media/1989_baywatch_006_zps897373f1.jpg.html)

"Help, help, my leg is cramping up.
Please hurry...oh and send one of the girls"
...

"Are you OK?"
"No, my leg is cramped, I can't swim."
"Your going to be OK, can you still use your hands?"
"Oh yessss"
"Good, just grab on to me, anywhere your able to hold on tight"
"Anywhere?...yes ma'am!

(aside) - tomorrow, I'll feign jelly fish attack hehe

[prendrelemick]

"Help, help, my leg is cramping up.
Please hurry...oh and send one of the girls"
...


(aside) - tomorrow, I'll feign jelly fish attack hehe



Yup, dangerous place, the hot-tub.

[prendrelemick]

This party's going to be so good I think even Hoff singing couldn't dampen it. We can always use him as the first target at Lake Idiot anyway. With all the alcohol about, he'll be drunk after the first half hour anyway.



You can stay for whole duration; you sound like you could do with a week of relaxation, debauchery & booze.

And gentlemen.




Now we're talking!

The watermelon-seed spitting will get them along for sure.

I've booked Muse for the last night.

(I'm not sure buying copious fireworks is a good idea right now!)

ZZ Top, The Hoff's car and Muse are all fine, But for heavens sake nobody book Coldplay! It's a party not a funeral.

[SilentMute]

Oh, it never occurred to me to just invite the cars!

As for all the guys who are already in need of CPR...remember, there were guys on Baywatch too (like the Hoff). They might wind up coming to your aide first.:p

[Sancho]

Well then, if we're inviting cars, I'm inviting Hunter S. Thompson's Shark - a candy-apple red, 1971 Chevy Impala Convertible.

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zps18baf3e2.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zps18baf3e2.jpg.html)

Buy the ticket. Take the ride.
---H.S.T.

[MarkBastable]

Hello chaps,

I've not been about much, and here's why....

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?74743-New-novel-available-from-this-weekend&p=1215442#post1215442

I shall do my best to come in for a pint a little more frequently now that I've got that out there - but these days it's necessary to go on a virtual tour of the webverse to promote these things, so I'm all over the place, kissing babies and opening supermarkets.

I'll have a lager top and egg'n'chips though, please, while I'm here.

MB

[prendrelemick]

You never ring, you don't call, then out of the blue..


Once I get over my pointless and half-hearted boycott of Amazon, Google and Starbucks (as a protest agin their aggressive tax avoidance) I shall be downloading a copy.

( I only boycott them when I don't want coffee, books or info.)

[prendrelemick]

Well then, if we're inviting cars, I'm inviting Hunter S. Thompson's Shark - a candy-apple red, 1971 Chevy Impala Convertible.

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zps18baf3e2.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zps18baf3e2.jpg.html)

Buy the ticket. Take the ride.
---H.S.T.

Does it talk? Can it do turbo boost jumps?

[Sancho]

Who needs a turbo charger when you've got 402 cubic inches? And who needs a car that can talk when you've got one that makes you see things?

"Jesus, bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing - intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out. The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes."
--Raoul Duke

[SilentMute]

Nice to see you again, Mark. Congrats on the book!

Sancho...as for the car making you see things...I hope you mean scenery--and it isn't that you are getting smashed on car fumes.

Some of the horrible smells one smells on the road. I swear sometimes people are using cooking oil for gasoline. I believe that you can do this...but I get the idea they are using USED cooking oil, which I don't think you are supposed to do.

[soundofmusic]

[
Ok, ok enough is enough. I don't want to be a wet blanket but this party is beginning to sound a little dangerous - fire, guns, explosives, alcohol,high velocity melon seeds.

I think we are going to need the emergency services in attendance.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/1989_baywatch_006_zps897373f1.jpg (http://s85.photobucket.com/user/prendrelemick/media/1989_baywatch_006_zps897373f1.jpg.html)

Wow, I didn't realize how pretty the other girls were...I wonder why we got so distracted by Pams assessories...I didn't know the guys from "Jersey Shore" were on Bay Watch...

I'm all for the dancing girls, but don't let the Hoff sing! :D

Sound: Well the idea was ok, the kids just didn't have big enough bladders :D

and by the way, which one is your Mother in law? If we're dealing with reincarnation here it could be hard to tell, but I can tell you that the giraffe is a bull, cause I checked. Can't say for certain about the two-headed zebra. ;)

Is there any chance we can book ZZ Top? the way they spin their instruments is soooo cooool!

NO, I'm pretty sure that was my mother-in-law, exactly the way she looked, mouth and everything...and yes, pretty sure she was a bull.


Tell David Hasselhoff to come in his cool car Kitt...oh, wait, wrong series. And absolutely under no circumstances do we allow him to sing. He was cute in his day and had a neat car, but not a great singer.

I'm still trying to figure if he talks with a lisp...By all means, bring Kit; but I think his voice died a while back


We could just invite the car :D

Better...


I watched a game of Lake Idiot once where the tables were turned. The idiot donned a football helmet (hard plastic, American-style Football helmet) and started aiming his head at the cannonballers. It never occurred to me until that moment that somebody could actually change their trajectory in flight. Those who couldn't suffered a few of broken ribs. What a game.



That was Phineas Gage, Lefty's great grandpappy. Phineas was a demolitions expert for the railroad. One day he was basting rock when a charge went off prematurely, driving a metal rod through his cheek and out the top of his head, taking his left eye and much of his frontal lobe with it. He survived. In fact, I don't think he even lost consciousness. He did have dramatic personality change afterwards though. < That's a true story (except for the Lefty part)



Safety's for sissies. Unless, of course,the first responders are wearing a red spandex one-piece.

Help! Help! I'm in need of assistance!

Ah, the first lobotomy... No please, don't want to see Hass in red spandex; see enough of that on Florida beaches...



You mean no Hooked On a Feeling? If we could get a reenactment of this video it might be worth it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQVlVHsFF8
Liked BJ better on this...cool video thoughhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbg0Y638TKg


Then there was his maternal Uncle ol' Hop-along-one-eyed-stumpy-the-eunuch.

Poor Mrs Stumpy...


"Lucky," for short.

As for Hoff's video, I can do the Ooga-Ooga-Ooga-Shakas

I recommend Sancho, I've heard his Oogas...didn't you work with Tarzan for a while


This party's going to be so good I think even Hoff singing couldn't dampen it. We can always use him as the first target at Lake Idiot anyway. With all the alcohol about, he'll be drunk after the first half hour anyway.



You can stay for whole duration; you sound like you could do with a week of relaxation, debauchery & booze.

And gentlemen.




Now we're talking!

The watermelon-seed spitting will get them along for sure.

I've booked Muse for the last night.

(I'm not sure buying copious fireworks is a good idea right now!)

For sure, and I'm about to go back in this weekend...somebody hand me a drink....


Well then, if we're inviting cars, I'm inviting Hunter S. Thompson's Shark - a candy-apple red, 1971 Chevy Impala Convertible.

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zps18baf3e2.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zps18baf3e2.jpg.html)

Buy the ticket. Take the ride.
---H.S.T.
Pretty car...Reminds me of the day


Hello chaps,

I've not been about much, and here's why....

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?74743-New-novel-available-from-this-weekend&p=1215442#post1215442

I shall do my best to come in for a pint a little more frequently now that I've got that out there - but these days it's necessary to go on a virtual tour of the webverse to promote these things, so I'm all over the place, kissing babies and opening supermarkets.

I'll have a lager top and egg'n'chips though, please, while I'm here.

MB

Just in time for the picnic Mark, can't wait to read the book.

[The Atheist]

Wow, I didn't realize how pretty the other girls were...I wonder why we got so distracted by Pams assessories...

You know, I never rated her and still don't.

I can think of a thousand better-looking women immediately. If she comes, she can sit with Hoff in the corner bar.

In fact, I think I'll get Parker to screen the place off a wee bit, so all the unwelcome guests can sit way out in the back garden room. The place has been over-run by geraniums in the last couple of years, so is about right for a bunch of blow-hard, no-talent bums.

You, my dear, have any damn table you like! I'm getting it all set up for you ready for when you finish the Weekend shift. I can arrange for tightly-clad young men to serve you..... drinks, if you like.

[The Atheist]

ZZ Top, The Hoff's car and Muse are all fine, But for heavens sake nobody book Coldplay! It's a party not a funeral.

No chance.

I'm going to start a music list below.


Oh, it never occurred to me to just invite the cars!


There's another great idea! We've got the music coming, I'll start a list of cars as well.


Hello chaps,

I've not been about much, and here's why....

Good luck with that!

How are sales so far?

[The Atheist]

Music.

Open to suggestions here, and as Mick has banned Coldplay, I'll add in U2*, any singer under 25, aside from Adele as people that may not be invited.

Other than that, I will add in both The Pogues - if MacGowan is ablt to be sobered up enough to sing, and Mumford & Sons, to whom I've wanted to drink beer for some time. They've got an amazing sound.

We've got about 299 hours of mujsic to fill, so bring them on!

[The Atheist]

Cars.

So far, we have KITT, and Hunter S Thompson's Shark.

I'll add in Bumblebee from Transformers and the Dodge from Vanishing Point. The original movie, that is.

Anything under V8 will be suspect, and Italian cars highly suspect.

Oh, and the Vanquish from the latest Bond film - that one's definitely in. Sterling Moss' Jag? I'll take votes on that.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Music.

Open to suggestions here, and as Mick has banned Coldplay, I'll add in U2*, any singer under 25, aside from Adele as people that may not be invited.

Other than that, I will add in both The Pogues - if MacGowan is ablt to be sobered up enough to sing, and Mumford & Sons, to whom I've wanted to drink beer for some time. They've got an amazing sound.

We've got about 299 hours of mujsic to fill, so bring them on!

Here's a few we can toss in:

"No Show Jones" (RIP George - passed away today)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onfce-UNmmE

Bowie and Bauhaus:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBQ-S6njQQw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoE_HcpzrBI



Cars.

So far, we have KITT, and Hunter S Thompson's Shark.

I'll add in Bumblebee from Transformers and the Dodge from Vanishing Point. The original movie, that is.

Anything under V8 will be suspect, and Italian cars highly suspect.

Oh, and the Vanquish from the latest Bond film - that one's definitely in. Sterling Moss' Jag? I'll take votes on that.

Don't forget Herbie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unXUq2xWT8c

.

[The Atheist]

Yes to both Bowie & Bauhaus, and I'll add in OMD as well. I've been to many concerts in my time, and they're still the best.

And yes to Herbie! (Especially if he can bring that Lindsay Lohan girl along - I could take her under my wing or something.)

[MarkBastable]

I'm going to have to veto OMD. If you look at the fine print of the constitution - which is written on a beermat now preserved in marrowjelly in a jar beside the pickled eggs - you'll see that I am entitled to do so under the provision by which profoundly considered critical assessment ("...what a couple of talentless Scouse wankers...") trumps 80s nostalgia ("....I got laid because I had a shirt like the one with the curly hair...").

However, I'll second the blackballing of U2, and I'll raise you Simple Minds.

I'd like this lot to be there...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4G_Aa47vfk

Apart from that being just about the best dumb popsong ever written, it was always considered, as you can tell from the video, a "blokes' song" - hence that dance with the shoulders, where we lads could have an unselfconscious relaxed time in a manly, all-chaps-together sort of way, enjoying masculine fellowship and goodhearted, healthy rough-and-tumble, with absolutely no implication of anything untoward, and certainly without the slightest sense that if any of us had even a slim chance of pulling a bird there's no way we'd be wasting time dancing with each other like that.

As for cars, I'd nominate this one....

http://clzimages.com/movie/large/e7/e7_d__0_TheYellowRollsRoyce.jpg

..and this one...

http://www.dan-dare.org/Dan%20FRD/MeanMachineAni.gif

..and this one...

http://uploads.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Fred-Flintstone-Barney-Rubble-Car.jpg

...but mostly this one....

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3170/2876811345_7b2da08cb8.jpg

[prendrelemick]

Music.

Open to suggestions here, and as Mick has banned Coldplay, I'll add in U2*, any singer under 25, aside from Adele as people that may not be invited.

Other than that, I will add in both The Pogues - if MacGowan is ablt to be sobered up enough to sing, and Mumford & Sons, to whom I've wanted to drink beer for some time. They've got an amazing sound.

We've got about 299 hours of mujsic to fill, so bring them on!

I was hoping we could book Paloma Faith, I mean, I've never seen her sing or anything, but my unhealthy obsession with her is coming along nicely.

[islandclimber]

Music.

Open to suggestions here, and as Mick has banned Coldplay, I'll add in U2*, any singer under 25, aside from Adele as people that may not be invited.

Other than that, I will add in both The Pogues - if MacGowan is ablt to be sobered up enough to sing, and Mumford & Sons, to whom I've wanted to drink beer for some time. They've got an amazing sound.

We've got about 299 hours of mujsic to fill, so bring them on!

I think The Pogues jamming with Gogol Bordello might be rather fantastic. Imagine, Shane MacGowan and Eugene Hutz on stage together. Wild, crazy, drunken, magic.

This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsGapy5vQ

with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYE8Vjih2cs

Yes. This. We need it.

[Hawkman]

Mark: Oh dear! I've spent nearly my whole life trying to forget 70's fashion! I think I'll probably have to agree with you when it comes to OMD though. Very dreary and angst ridden. Not in the least appropriate to a Hoe Down :D What we need is the Soggy Bottom Boys! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjadWaB_L2g) We might regret it if we invite these guys (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tqxzWdKKu8) though.

Now about those cars...

I'm definitely inviting

http://escapefromrl.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/batmobile.jpg

Although the characters in it are definitely on the list to play Lake Idiot. I mean, it's such a poignant image, the last few bubbles coming up around the soggy masks floating on the surface and then the slow submergence of those capes...

This one's definitely got something :D

http://www.popsci.com/files/imagecache/photogallery_image/articles/1batmobile1.jpg

As indeed does this one

http://www.comicbookbrain.com/_imagery/_2009_01_26/batmobile-tim-burton.jpg

Ok, So this may not actually be a car, but it has a certain charm... ;)

http://s1.aecdn.com/images/news/history-of-the-batmobile-hollywood-s-hero-car-51373_8.jpg

[Sancho]

Just in case we need to take this shebang mobile, I've rounded up Ken Kesey's Further Bus:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zps97986e94.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zps97986e94.jpg.html)

Now we just need a few psychoactive supplements.


...I've spent nearly my whole life trying to forget 70's fashion! I think I'll probably have to agree with you when it comes to OMD though. Very dreary and angst ridden. Not in the least appropriate to a Hoe Down :D What we need is the Soggy Bottom Boys! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjadWaB_L2g) We might regret it if we invite these guys (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tqxzWdKKu8) though...

Concerning the 70s, I agree, Hawk - tackiest decade in human history.

As for the Deliverance clip - "Paddle faster. I hear banjo music." Or as Jeff Foxworthy quipped during the '96 Olympics in Atlanta, "Better not have the bicycling competition up on the Chattahoochee. I mean, Burt Reynolds couldn't even make it up there. How'd'ya expect a Frenchman in tights to do?" (something along those lines, anyway)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

This is turning into some kind of hootenanny!
Fellas dancin shoulder to shoulder, bordellos, 70's kitsch...


“Thirty coats of lacquer black as the night”
How about one that comes with its own song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EboexI0JbiQ


http://www.munsterkoach.com/images/MunsterKoach2a.jpg



The “Family Truckster”:
“I’m not tired, are you kidding? I could go another hundred miles”... http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=PhlR3vidvp0&feature=fvwp

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/70/FamilyTruckster.jpg/270px-FamilyTruckster.jpg



“Acme Pool Service” ...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSiqYWsFXoM

http://www.imcdb.org/i012721.jpg

[MarkBastable]

I take it all back. The Munster car is a shoo-in, as long as I never again have to hear that truly appalling, too-crap-even-to-be-funny song.

[Calidore]

I vote for the Mad Max Interceptor (a.k.a. a 1973 XB GT Ford Falcon Coupe):

http://www.madmaxmovies.com/mad-max-interceptor/mad-max-interceptor-you-yangs.jpg

...which has recently received a truly badass update:

http://pictures.topspeed.com/IMG/jpg/201107/ford-mad-max-interce-1w.jpg

[The Atheist]

The Mad Max car - you bet! (My current car is a late-model, close relative of that car.)

I am disappointed by the Philistines who don't like OMD. Enola Gay and Maid of Orleans are recognised almost universally as two of the great pieces of music to come out of Britain. On the other hand, some of their pop is the best party music ever. If there are any more complaints about OMD, I have Spandau Ballet, ABC and ABBA waiting for an invite. (that they most certainly will not otherwise get!)

Luckily, I will just ignore the deniers and OMD will be playing. People who don't like them may utilise that time to attend to meetings with David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson in the Outer Garden Room.

Also, we're getting too many cars and not enough music.

I'm going to add in Keef - not the rest of the Stones, just him. He can play guitar for us late one night. I'm getting Parker to lay in an extra crate or three of Johnny Walker Black Label for him.

I've also booked Hunters & Collectors for the buffet on May 3rd.

[SilentMute]

I need to protest inviting Lindsey Lohan! Do not tell me that people find her attractive! I think you guys are already starting early on the drinking!

As for music, what about Shakira? She can bellydance! I don't always like her songs, but the bellydancing can be hypnotic!

As for the cars, I'd say we have a fine list being drawn up. Heck, I might even dress up a little more than I was planning to--a shirt that doesn't have spaghetti stains and clothes that actually match!

[Calidore]

I need to protest inviting Lindsey Lohan! Do not tell me that people find her attractive! I think you guys are already starting early on the drinking!

I have to agree here. Why go to the trouble of assembling cool cars and cool music and then bring embarrassing guests?


Heck, I might even dress up a little more than I was planning to--a shirt that doesn't have spaghetti stains and clothes that actually match!

Well, no need for overkill.

[MarkBastable]

Enola Gay and Maid of Orleans are recognised almost universally as two of the great pieces of music to come out of Britain.

This serves to confirm me in my conviction that we each live in a universe of our own devising.



I'm going to add in Keef - not the rest of the Stones, just him. He can play guitar for us late one night. I'm getting Parker to lay in an extra crate or three of Johnny Walker Black Label for him.

I think he's more for Jack than Johnnie. Then again, I don't think he cares that much.

[The Atheist]

I need to protest inviting Lindsey Lohan! Do not tell me that people find her attractive! I think you guys are already starting early on the drinking!

Shhhhh!

I was hoping to sneak her in the back door without anyone noticing.

I have a thing for bad girls.


As for music, what about Shakira? She can bellydance! I don't always like her songs, but the bellydancing can be hypnotic!

Shakira's fine & the bellydancing will be a nice change from the Morris Dance group Parker has coming along.

[The Atheist]

This serves to confirm me in my conviction that we each live in a universe of our own devising.

I'll admit to being biased thanks to a great night out with McCluskey once upon an age ago.



I think he's more for Jack than Johnnie. Then again, I don't think he cares that much.

You're right of course - shocking error. I never think of bourbon because I can't stand the stuff. Maybe we can convince Keef to change his ways. He gave up blow after 30 years, he can change booze after 50.

[SilentMute]

Ah, well, it turns out all my clothes have stains on them...some of them are rather embarrassing, and I have no idea what they are.:ack2:

Well, do you think the cars would like a shirt that has Rustoleum paint stains on it? I got them from painting my mom's car. Or do you think such chique cars are going to look their nose down at Rustoleum stains?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

....BTW, this is Bean (that's really her name), and that is Bean's Ball:
http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/beanball_zps0fb2f17d.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/beanball_zps0fb2f17d.jpg.html)...

Good Food, Good Music, Good Friends, and Great Fun.


...Well, do you think the cars would like a shirt that has Rustoleum paint stains on it? I got them from painting my mom's car. Or do you think such chique cars are going to look their nose down at Rustoleum stains?

Stained shirts won't hurt the Beverly Hillbillie's car- see album cover below.

I was in the mood to write a short story...

Sancho’s Shindig - a short story with southern seasonings and Pa; a man blessed with an accent somewhere north of Hadrian’s Wall

“Jethro, bettuh com’n din from an loft witchuh clawhammer . Granny’s uh comin from La La land out there on the left coast an she bring’n her pot!”
“Umm doggies Pa we’re gunna be float’n on clouds agin?”
“Not that kind of pot you worthless pile of chaff, I aim to be talk’n uhbowter vittles pot.”
“We’re all going down to Sancho’s farm….

(Pa pauses for a moment, looks out the barn door toward the crick, his mind takes him to another time and place and quietly but involuntarily recites the following)

I'm going on down to Yasgur's Farm,
I'm gonna join in a rock and roll band.
I'm gonna camp out on the land.
I'm gonna try and get my soul free.
(Joni Mitchell)

“Whus tha Pa?”

“I don’t’t rightly know boy, I’m supposen my noggin took a stroll through old fields of Heather – right then, now come on down from an loft weedyuh 5 string - we have a heap ‘o eat’n an clawhammering to get at!”

The End

Granny's Vittles:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A7YxC6tpHI


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_EQXPQvxgn9A/RljazU_57NI/AAAAAAAAAjY/gaJR-dr_dDk/s320/BeverlyHillbilliesLPFront.jpg



Some fine claw hammerin by Steve Martin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l31MSpojWTA

Wonderful tune for a Sunday morning (starts about 2:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bcO1svqh_Q

.

[Paulclem]

It's going to be a great party.

How about Clapton and Cale for some live music?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WUeOEkl270

Have we talked novelty acts before things liven up later on?


Got a clown phobia?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrGjwnH6nbY

Or we could go with something more conventional.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FBF2zJxpPY

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sancho]

Excellent story, Gill. I've always liked the clawhammer style. In fact I own an old open-back banjo that's got a chunky old-timey sound. It sounds better if you pick it with two fingers, Don Reno style. Mostly I use it to scare the cat.

The best way to listen to that kind of music is with a bare-foot hippie chick and a jug of sweet red wine at a music festival up in the Blue Ridge Mountains. I gar-un-tee.

I'm thinking this shebang-a-bang is getting big enough to run from Mayday through Cinco de Mayo. Aiy Chihuahua!

As for the Circ de Soleil acrobats, Paul, that clip was pretty cool, but can they play Lake Idiot?

[prendrelemick]

Stained shirts won't hurt the Beverly Hillbillie's car- see album cover below.

I was in the mood to write a short story...

Sancho’s Shindig - a short story with southern seasonings and Pa; a man blessed with an accent somewhere north of Hadrian’s Wall

“Jethro, bettuh com’n din from an loft witchuh clawhammer . Granny’s uh comin from La La land out there on the left coast an she bring’n her pot!”
“Umm doggies Pa we’re gunna be float’n on clouds agin?”
“Not that kind of pot you worthless pile of chaff, I aim to be talk’n uhbowter vittles pot.”
“We’re all going down to Sancho’s farm….

(Pa pauses for a moment, looks out the barn door toward the crick, his mind takes him to another time and place and quietly but involuntarily recites the following)

I'm going on down to Yasgur's Farm,
I'm gonna join in a rock and roll band.
I'm gonna camp out on the land.
I'm gonna try and get my soul free.
(Joni Mitchell)

“Whus tha Pa?”

“I don’t’t rightly know boy, I’m supposen my noggin took a stroll through old fields of Heather – right then, now come on down from an loft weedyuh 5 string - we have a heap ‘o eat’n an clawhammering to get at!”

The End

Granny's Vittles:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A7YxC6tpHI


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_EQXPQvxgn9A/RljazU_57NI/AAAAAAAAAjY/gaJR-dr_dDk/s320/BeverlyHillbilliesLPFront.jpg



Some fine claw hammerin by Steve Martin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l31MSpojWTA

Wonderful tune for a Sunday morning (starts about 2:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bcO1svqh_Q

.


Whadaya mean The End!

That's a post in the fine liter-ity tradition of this thread.

[The Atheist]

Ah, well, it turns out all my clothes have stains on them...some of them are rather embarrassing, and I have no idea what they are.:ack2:

Well, do you think the cars would like a shirt that has Rustoleum paint stains on it? I got them from painting my mom's car. Or do you think such chique cars are going to look their nose down at Rustoleum stains?

No self-respecting car is going to look down its bumper at Rustoleum. Rust never sleeps. Shall we get Neil Young along? Not enough stoners, I'd have thought.


It's going to be a great party.

How about Clapton and Cale for some live music?

We can squeeze them in, I guess. Can't leave God out, can we?




Have we talked novelty acts before things liven up later on?

Hell yeah! We've already got Silent and the Belly Dancers - bring it on!

Starts in 28 hours, and I get first drinks. In fact. given the time difference, I'll be under the table before you start.

[Hawkman]

Paul: Well I'm all for Live music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_2njtHamIM

Bags I Alison Kraus though :D I can't help wondering why NASA spent all that money on the Vomit Comet when all they needed for weightlessness training was a big see-saw with a couple of rings on the ends....

That clown is definitely the spawn of Satan! :devil:

Sancho: Yeah, I got a banjo too. Clawhammer's a style I haven't mastered yet, but I can get by just pickin' (provided it isn't too complicated.) Wish I could find the tab for Ron Block's version of the above song.

[SilentMute]

I think we need some comedians definitely. After all, parties inevitably produce some tense situations when somebody--usually drunk--says something awkward. It might be nice if a comedian can diffuse the situation...and this one likes her booze.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_wWJ-_4uSY

Of course, I don't know what we'll do if it is her that causes the situation, but....

[Sancho]

Haha, Wanda cracks me up.

So if we're bringing comedians, we gotta have Bill Burr. Here's Bill dissing Oprah and Lance:

http://youtu.be/O9YL04v-J5U

And since El Sancho's farm is in the South, here's Bill on Southern People:

http://youtu.be/HE3CHLx9Jdw

Also, for music in the wee hours, I'm thinking we need to get Norah. Norah Jones, Easy Living:

http://youtu.be/u3S5rXpo47w

[Sancho]

...Yeah, I got a banjo too. Clawhammer's a style I haven't mastered yet, but I can get by just pickin' (provided it isn't too complicated.) Wish I could find the tab for Ron Block's version of the above song.

Hawk! Splendid! I knew there was at least one other person on this forum with the recessive banjo-gene. Bring your instrument. We're puttin' a band together.

[MarkBastable]

I can contribute guitar or, at a push, ukelele.

http://i447.photobucket.com/albums/qq193/markbastable/Used%20and%20Links/178f5279-10bb-48f2-ac4a-d86c195a802e_zpsc1c35138.jpg

Also vocals, though in my experience what you need at the mike on these occasions is a groovy chick.

[SilentMute]

This girl may come cheaper than Cirque du Soleil and is just as entertaining:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1OcmeFb1bs

Of course, if you guys decide to play that game where you carry a cherry in your butt cheeks and try to plop it in a glass of beer...I hope you understand if I bet on her being better at it than you.

[Hawkman]

Now she's a fine bendy girl. :D Do you think she'd be susceptible to the influence of a couple of bottles of the family's premier label meths? But hey, that's one hell of a cherry!

Sancho: sure, I can bring it along. Always up for a jam...

[soundofmusic]

You know, I never rated her and still don't.

I can think of a thousand better-looking women immediately. If she comes, she can sit with Hoff in the corner bar.

In fact, I think I'll get Parker to screen the place off a wee bit, so all the unwelcome guests can sit way out in the back garden room. The place has been over-run by geraniums in the last couple of years, so is about right for a bunch of blow-hard, no-talent bums.

You, my dear, have any damn table you like! I'm getting it all set up for you ready for when you finish the Weekend shift. I can arrange for tightly-clad young men to serve you..... drinks, if you like.

Thank you, Atheist, I think Pam will look perfect somewhere with Geraniums around her. I hear she plans to invite Tommy Lee, they'll probably be smoking the geraniums and drinking all the poor grade hooch with Lindsey Loohan...wait, did she break out of the clinic again? I will take that little blond bloke Mark put up with the snow falling on him...if he hasn't aged, that is.


Music.

Open to suggestions here, and as Mick has banned Coldplay, I'll add in U2*, any singer under 25, aside from Adele as people that may not be invited.

Other than that, I will add in both The Pogues - if MacGowan is ablt to be sobered up enough to sing, and Mumford & Sons, to whom I've wanted to drink beer for some time. They've got an amazing sound.

We've got about 299 hours of mujsic to fill, so bring them on!

I love coldplay! Oh and Gweneth Paltrows little bloke...what's his name?


Here's a few we can toss in:

"No Show Jones" (RIP George - passed away today)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onfce-UNmmE

Bowie and Bauhaus:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBQ-S6njQQw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoE_HcpzrBI




Don't forget Herbie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unXUq2xWT8c

.

You mean George only just died, I'm always amazed how long these folks lived. I just saw Maggie Smith in some soap one of the lit ladies turned me on to...I thought sure she had passed along after the HP series.


I'm going to have to veto OMD. If you look at the fine print of the constitution - which is written on a beermat now preserved in marrowjelly in a jar beside the pickled eggs - you'll see that I am entitled to do so under the provision by which profoundly considered critical assessment ("...what a couple of talentless Scouse wankers...") trumps 80s nostalgia ("....I got laid because I had a shirt like the one with the curly hair...").

However, I'll second the blackballing of U2, and I'll raise you Simple Minds.

I'd like this lot to be there...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4G_Aa47vfk

Apart from that being just about the best dumb popsong ever written, it was always considered, as you can tell from the video, a "blokes' song" - hence that dance with the shoulders, where we lads could have an unselfconscious relaxed time in a manly, all-chaps-together sort of way, enjoying masculine fellowship and goodhearted, healthy rough-and-tumble, with absolutely no implication of anything untoward, and certainly without the slightest sense that if any of us had even a slim chance of pulling a bird there's no way we'd be wasting time dancing with each other like that.

As for cars, I'd nominate this one....

http://clzimages.com/movie/large/e7/e7_d__0_TheYellowRollsRoyce.jpg

..and this one...

http://www.dan-dare.org/Dan%20FRD/MeanMachineAni.gif

..and this one...

http://uploads.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Fred-Flintstone-Barney-Rubble-Car.jpg

...but mostly this one....

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3170/2876811345_7b2da08cb8.jpg

I'm surprised Lennons car didn't break down in rebellion for that wild paint job.


Mark: Oh dear! I've spent nearly my whole life trying to forget 70's fashion! I think I'll probably have to agree with you when it comes to OMD though. Very dreary and angst ridden. Not in the least appropriate to a Hoe Down :D What we need is the Soggy Bottom Boys! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjadWaB_L2g) We might regret it if we invite these guys (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tqxzWdKKu8) though.

Now about those cars...

I'm definitely inviting

http://escapefromrl.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/batmobile.jpg

Although the characters in it are definitely on the list to play Lake Idiot. I mean, it's such a poignant image, the last few bubbles coming up around the soggy masks floating on the surface and then the slow submergence of those capes...

This one's definitely got something :D

http://www.popsci.com/files/imagecache/photogallery_image/articles/1batmobile1.jpg

As indeed does this one

http://www.comicbookbrain.com/_imagery/_2009_01_26/batmobile-tim-burton.jpg

Ok, So this may not actually be a car, but it has a certain charm... ;)

http://s1.aecdn.com/images/news/history-of-the-batmobile-hollywood-s-hero-car-51373_8.jpg

Love the batmobile, but leave anne home, I don't need any ingénue competition.


Just in case we need to take this shebang mobile, I've rounded up Ken Kesey's Further Bus:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zps97986e94.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zps97986e94.jpg.html)

Now we just need a few psychoactive supplements.



Concerning the 70s, I agree, Hawk - tackiest decade in human history.

As for the Deliverance clip - "Paddle faster. I hear banjo music." Or as Jeff Foxworthy quipped during the '96 Olympics in Atlanta, "Better not have the bicycling competition up on the Chattahoochee. I mean, Burt Reynolds couldn't even make it up there. How'd'ya expect a Frenchman in tights to do?" (something along those lines, anyway)

[

[Sancho]

I can contribute guitar or, at a push, ukelele.

http://i447.photobucket.com/albums/qq193/markbastable/Used%20and%20Links/178f5279-10bb-48f2-ac4a-d86c195a802e_zpsc1c35138.jpg

Also vocals, though in my experience what you need at the mike on these occasions is a groovy chick.

The band is really coming together now. As we speak, Sancho's old lady is feverishly setting up the sound stage (actually what she's doing is sweeping out the hay loft). I've gassed up the generator so's we can power up a couple of Marshall Stacks (I figure there's no reason the whole county shouldn't enjoy the music). And the warm-up band is out there right now testing the equipment:

http://youtu.be/eZ7W9yG7InQ

^ they try so hard

Anyway, with what we've got so far, we're gonna need somebody to play the low stuff. Does anybody here have a big bass fiddle, or a baritone sax, or a tuba, or something. That reminds me: a horn section would be good. As it stands right now, all I've got is my neighbor Duane who says he'll bring his kazoo. Also, does anyone here play piano? I've got an old upright that I won with a straight-flush in a cathouse near Reno a while back, but I don't know how to play it. < Okay, that's a fib. I just thought it sounded good. I do own an electronic Yamaha Keyboard, though, but the only regular use it gets is by the cat, who likes to walk across keys every morning around 3am. (She's probably getting me back for chasing her around the house with my banjo.)

Hawk, some of most fun I've ever had in my life is during impromptu jam sessions with total strangers. Something will click and it all seems to work, regardless of the odd mix of regular and improvised musical instruments. Alcohol helps.

[The Atheist]

I love coldplay! Oh and Gweneth Paltrows little bloke...what's his name?

Oh, we can do a deal there! You have him and I'll have her.


I've got an old upright that I won with a straight-flush in a cathouse near Reno a while back, but I don't know how to play it....

Hawk, some of most fun I've ever had in my life is during impromptu jam sessions with total strangers. Something will click and it all seems to work, regardless of the odd mix of regular and improvised musical instruments. Alcohol helps.

Gold!

I'm tired and it's only been the first night.

A jam session sounds just right for later.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Paul, the clown is quite unsettling.
For a novelty act, I suggest we run back to the bar and get Evelyn Dall and her act to come on out.
Parker's had her billed for roughly 70 years now and still brings the house down.

Here she is performing at the bar a few years back.
Note: you can spot Parker at exactly 2:30 with Sounds and ?? standing in front of the bar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlNZF1QLrbw&feature=related

Sancho

I'll have my son join us with his violin, the only problem being, he's classically trained and this hoe down sounds like it requires a fiddle.

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/th_IMGP3118_zps37813938.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/Misc%20Album/IMGP3118_zps37813938.jpg.html)

I'll grab the Yma Sumac and Arthur Lyman albums.
They are best at 3:33 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdK-9NNSqME


http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/th_IMGP3119_zps20108b0f.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/user/tabuka1/media/Misc%20Album/IMGP3119_zps20108b0f.jpg.html)

.

[MarkBastable]

As an aside, I have never seen the attraction of any aspect of a circus. Just don't get it.

[prendrelemick]

At a distance, or as an abstract concept, I don't like circuses much either. But when I took the Grand kids to the Moscow State Circus, It was fantastic, I was ooing and ahhing all the way through, The Strongman act was this old geezer who gave a master class in how to work an audience, he was brilliant, and the clowns, who decided they were creepy? I haven't laughed so hard for years.

[Hawkman]

Sancho: So, you think we need a Bassist? No Problem, I can fill in after I've finished pickin' Fireball Mail. Of course, if you want me to entertain you with Foggy Mountain Breakdown or Man of Constant Sorrow I'll have to put it down again. :D

The Hawk's string section...

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=8771&d=1367392829

As for the six-string; I hope you like The Irish Rover lol.

I've also got a complete set of penny whistles so if you need a little trilling I can pipe a jig or two.

Atheist: Yup, the wheels of a good jam are definitely better for a little oiling. I'll bring a crate of meths. ;)

[Sancho]

^Sweet. So far we've got a couple of banjos, an electric bass, a uke', a fiddle (with a classically trained violinist), some guitars, a keyboard (with fur balls), and Duane's kazoo. I can bring a gourd-shaped mandolin that I acquired somewhere along the line.

Hmmm, what to do about the rhythm section. By the way, Hawk, what is that thing on your bookshelf? It looks kinda like a hand grenade - and we could use a few percussion instruments.

Now all we need is a name for the band. Something badass, but in a clever sort of way. Not too clever though, or people will figure we're just a bunch of wise guys.

Ideas?

[Hawkman]

Yes, it is indeed a hand grenade. Unfortunately I've only got the one so if we wish to use it musically we'll have to save it for the big finale :D as for the band name, how about The Frag 'em Boys? Kind of goes with the ornament ;)

[SilentMute]

@soundsofmusic--We should keep the picture of Lennon's car. We can show it to Selena. No matter how bad of a job I do on her clear coat, she is not going to look like that.

@MarkBastable and prendelmick--Well, I can only speak from personal experience as to why I like circuses like Cirque de Soleil. As a kid, I was always sickly and not very physically graceful. I always liked to imagine I could do these physical feats. I'm also scared of heights, and so I was impressed by trapeze artists--and I liked to imagine myself fearlessly swinging like they did.

[Calidore]

Yes, it is indeed a hand grenade. Unfortunately I've only got the one so if we wish to use it musically we'll have to save it for the big finale :D as for the band name, how about The Frag 'em Boys? Kind of goes with the ornament ;)

A hand grenade? I thought this was supposed to be a manly party. Tchaikovsky used cannons.

[Sancho]

Good point, Calidore. But you forget, we've got Gill coming in from Texas with truckload of high-grade fireworks that'll make Tchaikovsky's cannon fire sound like a cap gun.

The Frag 'Em Boys. I like it. Here are a couple other ideas:

Grenades-N-Roses

It's getting warm around here and Duane (the kazoo player) is a big ole, sweaty fella. How about:

The Sweat Grenades

[Sancho]

Sergeant Slaughter and the Frag-Time Fellows

Fragmentation Nation

>>We may not be on key, but we're close, and with hand grenades - close counts.

[Hawkman]

A hand grenade? I thought this was supposed to be a manly party. Tchaikovsky used cannons.

Here's a little factoid for you, Just after the war, that'd be WWII, a British recording of the 1812 overture actually forsook cannon in favour of a .303 rifle fired into a dustbin and slowed down to 16 RPM. Sad but true :D

Great suggestions there Sancho, I'm rather taken with Fragmentation Nation :D Can't use Slaughter as it's perilously close to breach of copyright, on account of one of the characters in my latest short being called Slaughterman. 'Hatchet' Harry Slaughterman, aka Barnabus, Dean of Sleazeby Cathedral. :D

[prendrelemick]

Can you tune handgrenades?

[Hawkman]

Yes, but only once!

[MarkBastable]

Here's a little factoid for you, Just after the war, that'd be WWII, a British recording of the 1812 overture actually forsook cannon in favour of a .303 rifle fired into a dustbin and slowed down to 16 RPM. Sad but true.

What's sad about that?

[Hawkman]

Cheap + Artificial = Sad

QED

I'm all for heavy artillery.

[The Atheist]

Going great guns so far!

I can get the NZ Artillery to come along with blank rounds if the fireworks don't do the job.

They're not allowed to fire their heavy guns in the normal course of armying, and the only time they get to pull the lever is at events, so they're always available.

[Sancho]

^Perfect. I know a guy who can get us an MLRS battery:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zpsd46eb0b7.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zpsd46eb0b7.jpg.html)

Yeah, baby!

[prendrelemick]

Uncle Joe Stalin's organ pipes for some of that snappy syncopation.

[prendrelemick]

Uncle Joe Stalin's organ pipes for some of that snappy syncopation.


http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ea7_1285696273

[SilentMute]

Okay, I have to ask since I am hearing so much about heavy artillery...you boys aren't buying these from terrorists are you? If that is the case, I don't think I should be hanging out with you.

Besides, I was too heavily influenced by the school assemblies (that was the word I was looking for earlier!) about how little kids blew off their appendages or their dog's mouth by playing with explosives.

[Calidore]

^Perfect. I know a guy who can get us an MLRS battery:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/image-2_zpsd46eb0b7.jpg (http://s971.photobucket.com/user/mollyandbruno/media/image-2_zpsd46eb0b7.jpg.html)

Yeah, baby!

Now that's more like it. You'll get bonus points if you launch them from the organ pipes.

[Hawkman]

Okay, I have to ask since I am hearing so much about heavy artillery...you boys aren't buying these from terrorists are you? If that is the case, I don't think I should be hanging out with you.

Besides, I was too heavily influenced by the school assemblies (that was the word I was looking for earlier!) about how little kids blew off their appendages or their dog's mouth by playing with explosives.

Only the stupid ones. It's just Darwinian natural selection in progress. Actually I'd be happy just to watch a meteor shower, but it's always so cloudy down my way that I never get to see them. Now with half a dozen of ^those things I wouldn't have to worry about the weather. :D

[MarkBastable]

Cheap + Artificial = Sad


No, no.

Inventive and pragmatic = Excellent.


Any idiot can record heavy artillery if they have a mike and some heavy artillery.

It takes real genius to record heavy artillery if you have a mike and no heavy artillery.

[Sancho]

So then, day-1 of the 1st Annual Barn Dance, Barbecue, and Book Club SheBang-a-Bang went off without a hitch. What a gas! What a hoot!

Well okay, it was a little rainy. Oh yes, and in retrospect, it may have been a poor idea to set up the barbecue pit right next to the fireworks cache. But hey, now we have a mosh pit.

Woo-hoo, strike up the band!

[Hawkman]

No, no.

Inventive and pragmatic = Excellent.


Any idiot can record heavy artillery if they have a mike and some heavy artillery.

It takes real genius to record heavy artillery if you have a mike and no heavy artillery.

Yes, but when you have a stockpile of munitions left over from a world war, and a whole battery of 25 pounder field guns at your disposal, electing to use a .303 rifle and a dustbin is definitely cheap and nasty!

Sancho: well done comrade, a grand hootenanny enjoyed by one and all. I hope there'll be time tomorrow for some mock, or even real executions. Is there any chance you can lay on some gladiators? We could revive celebrity death match with real celebrities. I quite fancy seeing Jennifer Anniston taking on Mike Tyson :D

[The Atheist]

Okay, I have to ask since I am hearing so much about heavy artillery...you boys aren't buying these from terrorists are you? If that is the case, I don't think I should be hanging out with you.

No, no, no.

We only source weaponry from 100% reputable arms salespeople - like the US Army!


Actually I'd be happy just to watch a meteor shower, but it's always so cloudy down my way that I never get to see them.

We had the best meteor shower of all times during the summer. None quite the size of the Russian one recently, but a genuine shower of amazingly bright, long-lasting meteors. Thanks to the direction they were coming from, they appeared to be moving in slow motion.


So then, day-1 of the 1st Annual Barn Dance, Barbecue, and Book Club SheBang-a-Bang went off without a hitch. What a gas! What a hoot!

This is why we're having a hangi tomorrow. A hangi is a Maori earth oven, pretty much the same as a luau.

I've had a couple of mates get a couple of wild pigs for us to cook. Takes all day to prepare and cook.

Got any decent river stones around your way? It's going to be hell to pay excess baggage on 500 lb of rocks!

[MarkBastable]

Cross-ref to thread concerning a thing I wrote for the Telegraph.


http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?74900-MarkB-piece-in-the-Daily-Telegraph-about-e-publishing

[soundofmusic]

Found a good deal of catering and entertainment...she's not Shakira, but.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjTpeD5kAdo&NR=1&feature=endscreen.

[soundofmusic]

Never quite get the Cirque De Sole...well, whatever they are called; I guess it's a bit too sophisticated for me. I took Silent to the Circus when she was a child, I found myself noticing the flies around the elephants and wondering when the costumes had last been laundered...oh, and the sexy horse riding lady had a thick bit of hair under her arm...

On a different note:
Paul, did you do the job interview yet?

Silent: I was thinking of putting a nice red bird on Selenas hood...

[The Atheist]

Found a good deal of catering and entertainment...she's not Shakira, but.....

...there's plenty of her to go around!

[Sancho]

...This is why we're having a hangi tomorrow. A hangi is a Maori earth oven, pretty much the same as a luau.

I've had a couple of mates get a couple of wild pigs for us to cook. Takes all day to prepare and cook.

Got any decent river stones around your way? It's going to be hell to pay excess baggage on 500 lb of rocks!

We do indeed have river rocks here, A'.

And so, as pieces of pigs pleasantly popped and sizzled in the Polynesian cooker, the band took the stage. Guns, grenades, hi-grade fireworks, and heavy artillery bristled in the crowd and mood was turning ugly. The home-grown crooners were still deciding on what to call themselves, so the band taking the stage, naturally, was:

THE BLASTERS

The singer leaned his mic-stand in close to a Marshall stack, strictly for the electronic-feedback squeal it gave, strictly for attention-grabbing effect it produced. And then, as a hush fell over the crowd, the band absolutely massacred the key of G with an old Sonny Burgess tune:

http://youtu.be/acqtCttrBX8

And the crowd went wild - Sadie was definitely back in town.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Can you tune handgrenades?

You can tuna piano but you can't tuna fish.


...electing to use a .303 rifle and a dustbin is definitely cheap and nasty!

No worries, I'll grab my 1943 Smith Corona (30.06) she'll blow the bin out of the dust.


Cross-ref to thread concerning a thing I wrote for the Telegraph....

I spotted your other thread, I'll take a gander. About to start chapter 7 btw.


Found a good deal of catering and entertainment...she's not Shakira, but.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjTpeD5kAdo&NR=1&feature=endscreen.

Ha!
Sounds, remember Justin Wilson?
Now that guy could whip up a mess of fine vittles and tall tale to boot...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK4umRMJlrs

[Paulclem]

Never quite get the Cirque De Sole...well, whatever they are called; I guess it's a bit too sophisticated for me. I took Silent to the Circus when she was a child, I found myself noticing the flies around the elephants and wondering when the costumes had last been laundered...oh, and the sexy horse riding lady had a thick bit of hair under her arm...

On a different note:
Paul, did you do the job interview yet?

Silent: I was thinking of putting a nice red bird on Selenas hood...

Never liked circuses with animals - not that I'd been to many.

Those Cirque De Soleil people- entertaining and disturbing and awesome. A fine combination without the tackiness of the circuses of old.

No news about the job yet. They buggered up the online advert, and had to re-advertise it again. I've had mine submitted for three weeks now. We'll see. The longer it goes on, the less confident you feel.

[Paulclem]

The artillery looks fantastic. I used to fire pack howitzers in the Uni TA. Fantastic fun. You feel the pressure of it in the bridge of your nose, and you can watch the shell as it arcs away into the blue yonder.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

We do indeed have river rocks here, A'.

And so, as pieces of pigs pleasantly popped and sizzled in the Polynesian cooker, the band took the stage.....


River rocks and "pigs pleasantly popping" led my mind to The Neanderthals with the world famous Pontani Sisters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgHM98rfE28

Now I'm all worked up in a lather over the Pontani Sisters - I'm booking these gals for party.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpnmwTZUU7A