Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Paulclem]

We've even had riots in Coventry!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0x9WM_Xu9Y

[jocky]

We've even had riots in Coventry!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0x9WM_Xu9Y

:)

Disgraceful behaviour, he should have been kettled, soaked through with the water cannon, hit in the private parts with a baton round and set upon by the dogs.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

.

Have we moved past "fulsome"?


http://genuinearticle.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/sophia-loren-and-jane-mansfield21.jpg



We've even had riots in Coventry!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0x9WM_Xu9Y

Conventry is the training ground. They start with baby steps.

.

[MarkBastable]

.




http://genuinearticle.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/sophia-loren-and-jane-mansfield21.jpg



What the hell is that waiter doing?

[prendrelemick]

Here is her greatest performance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL9xnAsR9YU



A very clever lady I reckon.



Feeling a bit bolshy this morning, so would like to point out that the most sucessful looters use fountain pens and lawyers, rather than bricks and sledge hammers.


.

[The Atheist]

However this is a bloke's thread, we should be singing about Four and Twenty Scottish Virgins and supping few Newkie Browns instead of all this intimate revelation.

Oh boy; it's a while since I've sung that one!


.

Have we moved past "fulsome"?

Only when the human race is extinct.

Everything quiet in the streets now? Poor old Parker's been waiting to go out for his annual day off.

[jocky]

One very good reason why cricket has never caught on in Scotland :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jdJG9I1HWw

[prendrelemick]

Now I don't begrudge Parker his annual day trip to Eastbourne, especially after the way he faced down that 11 year old looter (she was big for her age,) but I hope he is not on full pay.

Meanwhile, what has happened to the Indian cricket team? I don't think England are THAT good. The Boy reckons there has been some dodgy spread betting going on in the Sub-Continent.

[The Atheist]

Now I don't begrudge Parker his annual day trip to Eastbourne, especially after the way he faced down that 11 year old looter (she was big for her age,) but I hope he is not on full pay.

Pay for a day off? What century are you living in?

We let him have an hour's paid leave for his mother's funeral in 1978, that is quite enough.


Meanwhile, what has happened to the Indian cricket team? I don't think England are THAT good. The Boy reckons there has been some dodgy spread betting going on in the Sub-Continent.

That's a possibility - it isn't as though cheating for betting purposes is unknown on the sub-continent - but I suspect it's more that they are worn out and at the end of the era that made them #1 for so long.

[DocHeart]

Pay for a day off? What century are you living in?

We let him have an hour's paid leave for his mother's funeral in 1978, that is quite enough.




You mean he's not here? Craperoonie. Who am I gonna leave my car keys with now?

Incidentally, I've just decided that women are lovely but unbearable and I'm NEVER going to bother with another one EVER. Suggestions on what to do with my penis until I die are most welcome.

EDIT: And if anyone says "masturbation", thank you -- I've already thought of that. Be creative. I'm looking for some "out-of-the-box" kind of thinking here.

[The Atheist]

You mean he's not here? Craperoonie. Who am I gonna leave my car keys with now?

That's no problem; Parker's nephew is covering his duties for the day.

I imagine it was simple coincidence that 38 cars wer stolen last time he worked here when Parker had a day off for his quadruple heart by-pass.


Incidentally, I've just decided that women are lovely but unbearable and I'm NEVER going to bother with another one EVER. Suggestions on what to do with my penis until I die are most welcome.

Have you tried swinging the other way?

Gay is Ok, so they say.

I have to agree it has some attractions. No arguments over whether to watch sport or Desperate Housewives; no arguments over toilet seats; both are capable of starting a lawnmower, NO KIDS!

Christ, why did nobody ever tell me this when I was a teenager?

[DocHeart]

That's no problem; Parker's nephew is covering his duties for the day.

I imagine it was simple coincidence that 38 cars wer stolen last time he worked here when Parker had a day off for his quadruple heart by-pass.

Sod it, it'll be cheaper to crash it and get it repaired than have it sold for parts by that good-for-nothing cheap Parker substitute. It's a company car.




Have you tried swinging the other way?

Gay is Ok, so they say.

I have to agree it has some attractions. No arguments over whether to watch sport or Desperate Housewives; no arguments over toilet seats; both are capable of starting a lawnmower, NO KIDS!

Christ, why did nobody ever tell me this when I was a teenager?

Now, that doesn't help me. I'm nearly 40. You're 25 years late. You know what, maybe I'll just leave it with Parker's nephew instead of the car keys. He could embalm it and hang it on the wall next to Art Pepper.

[jocky]

Now, that doesn't help me. I'm nearly 40. You're 25 years late. You know what, maybe I'll just leave it with Parker's nephew instead of the car keys. He could embalm it and hang it on the wall next to Art Pepper.

Doc you are in need of a lift and I have just the thing, if you don't mind the swing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UokNG1hBvzY&feature=fvsr

:cheers2:

[MarkBastable]

both are capable of starting a lawnmower.....


Do what to a what?

[prendrelemick]

You mean he's not here? Craperoonie. Who am I gonna leave my car keys with now?

Incidentally, I've just decided that women are lovely but unbearable and I'm NEVER going to bother with another one EVER. Suggestions on what to do with my penis until I die are most welcome.

EDIT: And if anyone says "masturbation", thank you -- I've already thought of that. Be creative. I'm looking for some "out-of-the-box" kind of thinking here.


You could take Holy Orders. That way you ignore your penis and think only of higher things.

[DocHeart]

Doc you are in need of a lift and I have just the thing, if you don't mind the swing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UokNG1hBvzY&feature=fvsr

:cheers2:


That's brilliant!!

:cheers2:


You could take Holy Orders. That way you ignore your penis and think only of higher things.

Nah, that wouldn't work either. I got this fetish for nuns.

[Paulclem]

Nah, that wouldn't work either. I got this fetish for nuns.

What about meditation? You could contemplate your navel ...or whatever comes up...

[jocky]

Guys and gals I have booked your flights to Scotland for my upcoming birthday bash. Pay no heed to the ugly rumours circulating about the parlous state of our air traffic control:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeI154gaWL4

[DocHeart]

What about meditation? You could contemplate your navel ...or whatever comes up...

Meditation, eh? I'll think about it.

(boom-boom!)

:cheers2:

[Paulclem]

Guys and gals I have booked your flights to Scotland for my upcoming birthday bash. Pay no heed to the ugly rumours circulating about the parlous state of our air traffic control:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeI154gaWL4

:lol:

Watching that link I found this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY8YeLErbEg&NR=1

I'm sure I've seen her before - with Parker...

[Paulclem]

I heard some real wisdom today, and i thought i'd share it with you guys.

If you let your heart walk away, you might find that your head grows legs and follows it.

Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants

[The Atheist]

Do what to a what?

I'm beginning to worry about you.

Parker tells me someone ordered a shandy last week....


Nah, that wouldn't work either. I got this fetish for nuns.

Hard habit to break.


Guys and gals I have booked your flights to Scotland for my upcoming birthday bash.

:party:

Alright then!




I heard some real wisdom today, and i thought i'd share it with you guys.

If you let your heart walk away, you might find that your head grows legs and follows it.

Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants

SBSP is one of the better kids' programs, but that's priceless!

[soundofmusic]

Guys and gals I have booked your flights to Scotland for my upcoming birthday bash. Pay no heed to the ugly rumours circulating about the parlous state of our air traffic control:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeI154gaWL4

Woooo...Party at Jockys...or maybe in Pauls shed...

[The Atheist]

Woooo...Party at Jockys...or maybe in Pauls shed...

That's a great idea - party in Paul's sheds for jocky's birthday!

Once the first one's destroyed, we can move onto #2.

:D

[prendrelemick]

By the way Atheist, that white stuff that has been falling on Wellington is called SNOW, its what we get in Britain anytime between September and June.

[The Atheist]

By the way Atheist, that white stuff that has been falling on Wellington is called SNOW, its what we get in Britain anytime between September and June.

Quite amazing - there's been snow in all sorts of places that never usually get it. Wellington's had its biggest snowfall in half a century and there has been snow right up to the winterless north.

Particularly bloody cold; it only got to 9C in Auckland yesterday.

Spring storms always seem to be the coldest.

Back to normal today, although the cold snap has blown all the warm air away, so probably another week before we get those 20-degree days back.

BRRRR! Makes me appreciate the weather we [usually] don't get.

[jocky]

It is with great regret that I have to inform you all that my birthday bash has been cancelled and you all know who is to blame. Mrs Jocky began by announcing that the shed would need to be cleaned, don't laugh Paul she meant yours as well, and that lace screens would be the order of the day. She went on to discuss pots of tea and barn cakes for Mick and Paul. Then she went on about a sherry for the nice doctor and a warm blanket for Atheist. It got worse :

" Should I hang the Kandinski on the sheddy wall for Mark, and do you think Soundo and Sugar would appreciate my home made non alcaholic soup? As for that Gilliat should I shoot and pluck Bartock as I know them Texans appreciate big birds."

See you in the morning guys. :(

[The Atheist]

" Should I hang the Kandinski on the sheddy wall for Mark, and do you think Soundo and Sugar would appreciate my home made non alcaholic soup? As for that Gilliat should I shoot and pluck Bartock as I know them Texans appreciate big birds."

Looks like commiserations are due instead of congratulations.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

It is with great regret that I have to inform you all that my birthday bash has been cancelled and you all know who is to blame. Mrs Jocky began by announcing that the shed would need to be cleaned, don't laugh Paul she meant yours as well, and that lace screens would be the order of the day. She went on to discuss pots of tea and barn cakes for Mick and Paul. Then she went on about a sherry for the nice doctor and a warm blanket for Atheist. It got worse :

" Should I hang the Kandinski on the sheddy wall for Mark, and do you think Soundo and Sugar would appreciate my home made non alcaholic soup? As for that Gilliat should I shoot and pluck Bartock as I know them Texans appreciate big birds."

See you in the morning guys. :(

Jocky, a little music for your party:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l31MSpojWTA&feature=related


I hate the thought of putting ole Bartok down but if you feel you must, I have a 1943 Springfield that'l do the job.
There will be anough squab to feed the tennants at Paul's Ivy League Estates.

Tell Mrs J that Paul's neighbor Fred is happy to do the shed cleanin so you can enjoy the party.

.

[jocky]

One of these days Mrs Jocky you will push me to far :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0fT9BHpImI

[Paulclem]

Tell Mrs J that Paul's neighbor Fred is happy to do the shed cleanin so you can enjoy the party.

.

He'll be more than happy to. He's a Jamaican guy, and so will no doubt respond to a little rum offering. (Or beer for that matter given the number of cans that were in the fallout bunker). If we're not careful he might make a bid to be Parker's understudy.

You'll be pleased to know that Mrs P has decided on a nice yellow paint for the shed. I thought we could then have a few flowers painted on it too. I might then christen it the hippy shack. I don't look much like a hippy myself, but the colur scheme might keep evil spirits away. I'll post a photo when I've finished.

[The Atheist]

You'll be pleased to know that Mrs P has decided on a nice yellow paint for the shed. I thought we could then have a few flowers painted on it too. I might then christen it the hippy shack. I don't look much like a hippy myself, but the colur scheme might keep evil spirits away. I'll post a photo when I've finished.

Luckily, with sheds, it's all about the inside.

[prendrelemick]

Why do we laugh when Carol the weather girl tells us "Its chilly in the Trussochs"?

[MarkBastable]

Why do we laugh when Carol the weather girl tells us "Its chilly in the Trussochs"?


For this reason, I suspect....

http://s3.hubimg.com/u/1962586_f520.jpg

And for non-Brits who have no idea what this is all about - the Wikifnarr (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finbarr_Saunders).

Apparently, fnarr-fnarr has made it into the OED - which information has completely made my day.

[Paulclem]

For this reason, I suspect....

http://s3.hubimg.com/u/1962586_f520.jpg

And for non-Brits who have no idea what this is all about - the Wikifnarr (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finbarr_Saunders).

Apparently, fnarr-fnarr has made it into the OED - which information has completely made my day.

:lol:

Fantastic - the OED. I'm chuffed.

I wonder what our US friends would make of it.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I wonder what our US friends would make of it.
Can't speak for the U.S. but as a neighboring Republic, I can say that I picked on on the box and flaps, but it was the bloke on the stairs that had wondering.
At first I thought he had just vented himself, hence the "fnarr" sound, but now I understand having read Mark's link.

.

[The Atheist]

Apparently, fnarr-fnarr has made it into the OED - which information has completely made my day.

And now it's made mine!

Priceless!

I must tell James Randi immediately. He's been failing to get "woo-woo" and it's smaller brother "woo" into the OED for 30 years, yet here's one that is just a snigger in a cartoon strip already there!

I must question the writers of OED, though:


Origin:

1980s: perhaps imitative of the sound of suppressed laughter

You don't think it has anything to do with Finbarr?

[jocky]

For all of you non believers check out 1:06. I think this will prove the existense of extra-terrestrial life and alien interplanetary travel beyond doubt. Look to the skies in the upper left corner of your screens and behold, and it is in broad daylight. Smug grin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UOweeSdI2k&playnext=1&list=PLF3DAE1F75149B858

[soundofmusic]

That's a great idea - party in Paul's sheds for jocky's birthday!

Once the first one's destroyed, we can move onto #2.

:D

I think I'll set up my table in shed number 2, point the fan so it's blowing up my bloomers:coolgleamA:


By the way Atheist, that white stuff that has been falling on Wellington is called SNOW, its what we get in Britain anytime between September and June.

Ah, well, might have to point a heater at the bloomers then:cold:


It is with great regret that I have to inform you all that my birthday bash has been cancelled and you all know who is to blame. Mrs Jocky began by announcing that the shed would need to be cleaned, don't laugh Paul she meant yours as well, and that lace screens would be the order of the day. She went on to discuss pots of tea and barn cakes for Mick and Paul. Then she went on about a sherry for the nice doctor and a warm blanket for Atheist. It got worse :

" Should I hang the Kandinski on the sheddy wall for Mark, and do you think Soundo and Sugar would appreciate my home made non alcaholic soup? As for that Gilliat should I shoot and pluck Bartock as I know them Texans appreciate big birds."

See you in the morning guys. :(

Well, I might fancy a nice little tea party with little cakes, a bit of non alcoholic soup, while hanging with my favorite alcoholics...


Jocky, a little music for your party:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l31MSpojWTA&feature=related


I hate the thought of putting ole Bartok down but if you feel you must, I have a 1943 Springfield that'l do the job.
There will be anough squab to feed the tennants at Paul's Ivy League Estates.

Tell Mrs J that Paul's neighbor Fred is happy to do the shed cleanin so you can enjoy the party.

.

I didn't know Steve could really play that thing; I hope he'll do a bit of his King Tut act for the party.


He'll be more than happy to. He's a Jamaican guy, and so will no doubt respond to a little rum offering. (Or beer for that matter given the number of cans that were in the fallout bunker). If we're not careful he might make a bid to be Parker's understudy.

You'll be pleased to know that Mrs P has decided on a nice yellow paint for the shed. I thought we could then have a few flowers painted on it too. I might then christen it the hippy shack. I don't look much like a hippy myself, but the colur scheme might keep evil spirits away. I'll post a photo when I've finished.

Oh my gosh, I fell asleep and someone painted a big sunflower on my bloomers...:incazzato:


For this reason, I suspect....

http://s3.hubimg.com/u/1962586_f520.jpg

And for non-Brits who have no idea what this is all about - the Wikifnarr (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finbarr_Saunders).

Apparently, fnarr-fnarr has made it into the OED - which information has completely made my day.

:nod::wave:

[Shalot]

I'm not a bloke but I'm having a cold ale. It's Abita Restoration (New Orleans). It's all right.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

For all of you non believers check out 1:06. I think this will prove the existense of extra-terrestrial life and alien interplanetary travel beyond doubt. Look to the skies in the upper left corner of your screens and behold, and it is in broad daylight. Smug grin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UOweeSdI2k&playnext=1&list=PLF3DAE1F75149B858

Good eye Jocky, you would do well in Marfa Texas.
Funny thing, I'm wearing my "Roswell Mystery Coverup" T-shirt tonight.
Keep up the Beefheart. nice



I'm not a bloke but I'm having a cold ale. It's Abita Restoration (New Orleans). It's all right.

Welcome. I'll have to look into that Abita Restoration.

.

[Paulclem]

I tried a Toffee Apple flavoured Pear Cider the other night and it was rather nice. It's perhaps a good job I stopped going out so much to the pub when they brought out alcopops.

The Tutti-Frutti isn't up to much though. The Pear Cider itself is currently my favourite ale - Southern Comfort is my long standing favourite spirit.

[The Atheist]

For all of you non believers check out 1:06. I think this will prove the existense of extra-terrestrial life and alien interplanetary travel beyond doubt. Look to the skies in the upper left corner of your screens and behold, and it is in broad daylight. Smug grin:

That's it, I'm convinced.

Although "seagulls" springs to mind for some reason.


I think I'll set up my table in shed number 2, point the fan so it's blowing up my bloomers:coolgleamA:

Parker's getting out the portable blower as we type!


I'm not a bloke but I'm having a cold ale. It's Abita Restoration (New Orleans). It's all right.

Don't tell anyone, but it isn't necessary to be either male or drink ale to be in here when the fire's going.

Make yourself comfortable and ask Parker for anything you need.


The Tutti-Frutti isn't up to much though. The Pear Cider itself is currently my favourite ale - Southern Comfort is my long standing favourite spirit.

I like pear cider, but Southern Comfort? :eek6:

Prepare yourself for some Man lessons!

:D

[jocky]

Make yourself comfortable and ask Parker for anything you need.







Apart from the ten year old Glemorangie that is reserved for you know who. Best to start off on the right foot Shalot. :biggrin5:

[soundofmusic]

I'm not a bloke but I'm having a cold ale. It's Abita Restoration (New Orleans). It's all right.

Welcome, we've got a nice little group of ladies here at the blokes table now, Shalot. I've been looking at your avatar, it sort of has an O'keefe feel about it; but when I look at it a second time, I see a cross with Humpty Dumpty on it:willy_nilly:


Good eye Jocky, you would do well in Marfa Texas.
Funny thing, I'm wearing my "Roswell Mystery Coverup" T-shirt tonight.
Keep up the Beefheart. nice

Welcome. I'll have to look into that Abita Restoration.

.

I hope you have your red silk boxers on too; I think those Marfa lights are actually Mrs G's "Red Hat" ladies over for a bit of tea.


I tried a Toffee Apple flavoured Pear Cider the other night and it was rather nice. It's perhaps a good job I stopped going out so much to the pub when they brought out alcopops.

The Tutti-Frutti isn't up to much though. The Pear Cider itself is currently my favourite ale - Southern Comfort is my long standing favourite spirit.

That sounds quite good; I only had Southern Comfort once. I wasn't sure, from the taste, whether it was going in or coming out.


That's it, I'm convinced.

Although "seagulls" springs to mind for some reason.



Parker's getting out the portable blower as we type!
:D

Ooh, I feel like Marilyn...
:cold:

Apart from the ten year old Glemorangie that is reserved for you know who. Best to start off on the right foot Shalot. :biggrin5:

Here, Here, only the best for Shalot:wave:

[Paulclem]

That sounds quite good; I only had Southern Comfort once. I wasn't sure, from the taste, whether it was going in or coming out.


:biggrin5:

It's sweet. I have a sweet tooth hence the pear cider and the toffee apple version.

In truth in the past, when I did drink rather a lot more than I do now, I could get anything down. I never really developed a discerning palate, and I'm probably a vulgar supper.

[The Atheist]

Apart from the ten year old Glemorangie that is reserved for you know who.

It's ok, I'm getting that one broken out tonight!

Ten days ago, we shifted house, and since then, it has been a litany of one disaster after another. Three days without internet or telephone, so I was reduced to leaving my PC at the old house while Telecom tried to figure out why it didn't work, boxes for miles, tripping down the stairs in an unexpected power cut and today, finally starting to see the light.

I think I deserve one.

Or two.

Or three.... so get in quick, jocky!

[jocky]

It's ok, I'm getting that one broken out tonight!

Ten days ago, we shifted house, and since then, it has been a litany of one disaster after another. Three days without internet or telephone, so I was reduced to leaving my PC at the old house while Telecom tried to figure out why it didn't work, boxes for miles, tripping down the stairs in an unexpected power cut and today, finally starting to see the light.

I think I deserve one.

Or two.

Or three.... so get in quick, jocky!

Your need is greater than mine as I am familiar with the stress of moving house. As long as you did not forget to bring Parker all will be well. I hope you and yours enjoy your new home. Slangevar.


I'm not a bloke but I'm having a cold ale. It's Abita Restoration (New Orleans). It's all right.

Is this what you were referring to ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRjl7Bvnkzw


I think I'll set up my table in shed number 2, point the fan so it's blowing up my bloomers:coolgleamA:







:nod::wave:

It is your decision Soundo but if you and Paul get together sparks might fly:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a4gyJsY0mc

Sorry I couldn't help it :biggrin5:

[Paulclem]

It is your decision Soundo but if you and Paul get together sparks might fly:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a4gyJsY0mc

Sorry I couldn't help it :biggrin5:

Phew! I'm off for a swill down.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I think I'll set up my table in shed number 2, point the fan so it's blowing up my bloomers:coolgleamA:

Ah, well, might have to point a heater at the bloomers then



Paul's fan is pretty strong...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hbHH6Cb4dc&NR=1

.

[jocky]

Paul's fan is pretty strong...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hbHH6Cb4dc&NR=1

.

Hey, hold on Gurgle we give you the Beatles and the Stones and the best you can return is Old Grannie Faye, The world is out of joint and thank the stars that it is not my responsibility to put it right.

Now this might not be PC but it is a hoot, either that or I am barred again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBVTjEjyifQ

[prendrelemick]

I think the time has come to check Paul's sheds for a certain missing Libyan dictator.

[The Atheist]

Slangevar.

Cheers!


I think the time has come to check Paul's sheds for a certain missing Libyan dictator.

I think he'd more likely be at the Ritz.

[jocky]

I think the time has come to check Paul's sheds for a certain missing Libyan dictator.

Pointless exercise Mick I saw him in the Curmudgeons last night, he was sitting in the snug with Lord Lucan.

[Paulclem]

I think the time has come to check Paul's sheds for a certain missing Libyan dictator.

He could well have been in the fallut bunker. The mess he's left in there...

[prendrelemick]

Pointless exercise Mick I saw him in the Curmudgeons last night, he was sitting in the snug with Lord Lucan.


Might've known it. That snug clique never stand their round.

[The Atheist]

Just an absolutely glorious spring day here.

About to take the day off and go to the park with the little bloke and the RC helicopter.

:D

[jocky]

Just an absolutely glorious spring day here.

About to take the day off and go to the park with the little bloke and the RC helicopter.

:D

That sounds like a fun day.

I have just had a bit of a nightmare thank goodness it was just a dream:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOiMqm1JgYU

:eek:

Mrs Jocky and I had a day out watching the puffins, it was a glorious day as we walked on the clifftop path and the strangest thought crossed my mind. One little accidental shove and I could be single again, just in time I remembered, who would wash my socks and butter my scones in the morning ?

Bye the way Atheist, remember and give the wee man a shot of the model helicopter remote.

[soundofmusic]

:biggrin5:

It's sweet. I have a sweet tooth hence the pear cider and the toffee apple version.

In truth in the past, when I did drink rather a lot more than I do now, I could get anything down. I never really developed a discerning palate, and I'm probably a vulgar supper.

Well, I've only had southern comfort once and it never even made it to my stomach, just about half way down it exploded and came back...


It's ok, I'm getting that one broken out tonight!

Ten days ago, we shifted house, and since then, it has been a litany of one disaster after another. Three days without internet or telephone, so I was reduced to leaving my PC at the old house while Telecom tried to figure out why it didn't work, boxes for miles, tripping down the stairs in an unexpected power cut and today, finally starting to see the light.

I think I deserve one.

Or two.

Or three.... so get in quick, jocky!

Poor man, sounds nightmarish! I think you and Parker should join I and Paul for a party in the shed...mind you, we aren't having any hankypanky, just a booze mixing contest.


Your need is greater than mine as I am familiar with the stress of moving house. As long as you did not forget to bring Parker all will be well. I hope you and yours enjoy your new home. Slangevar.

After moving so many times in my youth, I determined I would stay put from now on. I didn't quite realize that around their 30th year, here in America, the houses start tumbling down.


It is your decision Soundo but if you and Paul get together sparks might fly:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a4gyJsY0mc

Sorry I couldn't help it :biggrin5:

Wow, I have always held that I would respect the wives of my bloke friends and keep my relationships platonic; but I must admit, that block in your video has quite an impressive light source :ladysman:


Phew! I'm off for a swill down.

Haha...


Paul's fan is pretty strong...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hbHH6Cb4dc&NR=1

.

I don't think I have ever seen such an impressive fan...I wonder if we can get granny to guest at our next litnet poetry reading contest.


I think the time has come to check Paul's sheds for a certain missing Libyan dictator.

Remember when we used to call him pinapple face? He seems a bit smoother lately.


Mrs Jocky and I had a day out watching the puffins, it was a glorious day as we walked on the clifftop path and the strangest thought crossed my mind. One little accidental shove and I could be single again, just in time I remembered, who would wash my socks and butter my scones in the morning ?

Bye the way Atheist, remember and give the wee man a shot of the model helicopter remote.

I guess that is the difference with blokes; here in America, we've had a good number of ladies who have pushed their intendeds and hubbies off the mountain tops.

[Paulclem]

After moving so many times in my youth, I determined I would stay put from now on. I didn't quite realize that around their 30th year, here in America, the houses start tumbling down.


Can't you get those people from the makeover show to give you a new house. What's the bloke's name - Cy. You work in a very creditable job - I think you've got a good case.

By the way what do you think of this version of Take 5? I think it's great. I heard of it on the world service.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLF46JKkCNg

[jocky]

By the way what do you think of this version of Take 5? I think it's great. I heard of it on the world service.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLF46JKkCNg

What are you doing up at this time ? I really enjoyed that and it goes to show that there is more than one Eric Clapton. So let us keep the mood and enjoy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sjSHazjrWg

We are a happy family.





I don't think I have ever seen such an impressive fan...I wonder if we can get granny to guest at our next litnet poetry reading contest.





Nooooo! I was enjoying myself until you brought up the Xmas play. A certain person who I will not mention by name, but he comes from the Lone Star State enjoys gettin me during the Yuletide Season. Rule Brittania, Brittania rules the waves, Er:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6h8i8wrajA

[Paulclem]

What are you doing up at this time ? I really enjoyed that and it goes to show that there is more than one Eric Clapton. So let us keep the mood and enjoy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sjSHazjrWg

We are a happy family.

The onset of age and the onset of insomnia - and a bout of the scratches. It makes me very restless, and doesn't go down well with Mrs P.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Just an absolutely glorious spring day here.

About to take the day off and go to the park with the little bloke and the RC helicopter.

:D

So how was the day off?
Flying RC planes was a hobby of mine.


...By the way what do you think of this version of Take 5? I think it's great. I heard of it on the world service.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLF46JKkCNg

Fantastic Paul. I enjoyed that.


Nooooo! I was enjoying myself until you brought up the Xmas play. A certain person who I will not mention by name, but he comes from the Lone Star State enjoys gettin me during the Yuletide Season. Rule Brittania, Brittania rules the waves, Er:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6h8i8wrajA

mwah..ha..ha
You can rest assured I have been collecting material over these past few fortnights.
Speaking of, I suppose it isn't too soon for you sage blokes to begin the beguine...sorry, I suddenly thought of Artie Shaw...to begin offering up those "thread bare rags" we call poetry.



The onset of age and the onset of insomnia - and a bout of the scratches. It makes me very restless, and doesn't go down well with Mrs P.

Own up Paul, Mrs. P cast you out of her chambers and into the shed.

I leave you with this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6cscoeHW64&feature=related


.

[The Atheist]

Mrs Jocky and I had a day out watching the puffins, it was a glorious day as we walked on the clifftop path and the strangest thought crossed my mind. One little accidental shove and I could be single again, just in time I remembered, who would wash my socks and butter my scones in the morning ?

That thought has occurred to every married man at least 100 times.


Bye the way Atheist, remember and give the wee man a shot of the model helicopter remote.

Not a chance!

I let him "drive" into the garage the other day, sitting on my knee.

The next day, I asked if he wanted to go out in the car, so mum and he come out... he proceeds to get in the driver's seat and screamed "NO! DRIVE!" every time we suggested he get into the baby seat.

Never giving him the controls of anything until he's at least 25 or so.


Well, I've only had southern comfort once and it never even made it to my stomach, just about half way down it exploded and came back...

:lol:


... just a booze mixing contest.

Best kind.


So how was the day off?
Flying RC planes was a hobby of mine.

Yeah, I flown a few of them, but a chopper is a whole new ball game.

It's only a cheap model, so it has a little left-hand torque that is easy enough to control, but the combination of holding the torque and flying forwards is very, very complicated.

Getting there, though!

[Paulclem]

Own up Paul, Mrs. P cast you out of her chambers and into the shed.

I leave you with this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6cscoeHW64&feature=related

.

God old Burl.

Yes....again. I prefer it on the club couch. There are aids to sleepfulness nearby - supplied by the ever hospitable Parker. Though i do suspect that whoever had had him in theri bed had also give him the boot. Hence his 3.30 sympathy shot that he supplied me with.

[prendrelemick]

^Crickey Paul, It's a good job double entendres are passe.


Can't sleep? Try this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM4c2saspa0&feature=related

By the way:-

I was asked to set up a password to recieve my Email - It had to have at least 8 characters, so I chose Snow White and the seven dwarves.

The above was chosen as the best joke of this year's Edinburgh Festival.

[Paulclem]

^Crickey Paul, It's a good job double entendres are passe.


Can't sleep? Try this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM4c2saspa0&feature=related

By the way:-

I was asked to set up a password to recieve my Email - It had to have at least 8 characters, so I chose Snow White and the seven dwarves.

The above was chosen as the best joke of this year's Edinburgh Festival.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzz........ ...............

[MarkBastable]

Last year's joke of the Festival was Tim Vine...

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what - never again."



Though I might have gone for Jack Whitehall...

"I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."

[jocky]

mwah..ha..ha
You can rest assured I have been collecting material over these past few fortnights.
I suddenly thought of Artie Shaw...to begin offering up those "thread bare rags" we call poetry.







.

In that case I hope you will include this. There is no references to that rubbish poem ' The Lake Isle of Innisfree ' and no mention at all of childish references to fat gingers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPsM-XDxH4Y

It would have went down a treat at the Edinburgh Festival. Not with The Scots you understand as none of us can afford the entrance fee.

[prendrelemick]

If you can't sleep, you can try,
The curmudgeon's lullaby,
Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
Soon golden slumbers close your eye.

And golden dreams can then begin,
Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
And Parker comes and tucks you in,
And wipes the gin from off your chin,

[Paulclem]

:lol:

Superb.

[MarkBastable]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPsM-XDxH4Y

.

I've always liked that. He wrote it in the Seventies, when he was in Kilburn and the High Roads, and it was recorded by - believe it or not - Max Wall (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LVjDUeb2_U).

While we're doing touchingly funny songs by Mr Dury...probably got help from their mum. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPvRsLWlDXw).

[Paulclem]

I always liked Clever Trevor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiulgP9kR7c

[prendrelemick]

I know its not one of his biting social commentries, but "Hit Me With Your Rythm stick" has such powerful associations for me of my first serious girlfriend, that- 35 years later- whenever I hear the opening bars, I swear I can smell her fragrance as clearly as if she had just walked into the room.


Panache and tobbacco smoke.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

In that case I hope you will include this. There is no references to that rubbish poem ' The Lake Isle of Innisfree ' and no mention at all of childish references to fat gingers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPsM-XDxH4Y



I've always liked that. He wrote it in the Seventies, when he was in Kilburn and the High Roads, and it was recorded by - believe it or not - Max Wall (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LVjDUeb2_U).

While we're doing touchingly funny songs by Mr Dury...probably got help from their mum. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPvRsLWlDXw).


I always liked Clever Trevor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiulgP9kR7c

Haha.
Thanks for the Dury introduction.
Some new material I can use to annoy Mrs. G and G Jr.



If you can't sleep, you can try,
The curmudgeon's lullaby,
Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
Soon golden slumbers close your eye.

And golden dreams can then begin,
Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
And Parker comes and tucks you in,
And wipes the gin from off your chin,

Very nice. That one is going into the burlap bag.


.

[Paulclem]

I know its not one of his biting social commentries, but "Hit Me With Your Rythm stick" has such powerful associations for me of my first serious girlfriend, that- 35 years later- whenever I hear the opening bars, I swear I can smell her fragrance as clearly as if she had just walked into the room.


Panache and tobbacco smoke.

I get taken straight back to a manky nightclub in Wakefield were the DJ played this most weeks when I hear it. I've just bought Mrs P a 70s compilation with it on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b2F-XX0Ol0

It's funny how abstractions can take you to particulars.


Haha.
Thanks for the Dury introduction.
Some new material I can use to annoy Mrs. G and G Jr.

Very nice. That one is going into the burlap bag.
.

You must have a good collection in that old bag.

I'm finally getting on top of the new half of the allotment. I've got under a third to clear, but now I'm planning for next year.

[jocky]

It is marvelous to us how a little reminder of the late, great Ian Dury down the intertubes can set off a fuse within the Anglo Saxon community. Well at least we can all agree on this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aizzH_JMU3c

There was a farmer who drank horlicks
who kept measuring his prized rams b......s
Till his missus said to he
you are not seeing to me
but Old Seth the farm hand makes me rollicks. Boom Boom.

[Paulclem]

Just found this video after looking at Jocky's vid.

Never heard this one before - I nearly fell off my cheap argos computer chair...

Warning - lots of swearing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xblXyUfQ0HI&feature=related

[jocky]

Are you getting annoyed? The odds look pretty familiar three to one but that is the way we like it. This whole thread is beginning to smell a bit English. Catch you later Atheist, Gilliat and Soundo, enjoyed your company.

[Paulclem]

Annoyed - me? Never mate.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Are you getting annoyed? The odds look pretty familiar three to one but that is the way we like it. This whole thread is beginning to smell a bit English. Catch you later Atheist, Gilliat and Soundo, enjoyed your company.

Jocky there's nothing English about Bootsy Collins and a cheap bottle of French table wine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmNegOg6dOM&feature=related

or Blue Grass:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs2j8f7H2WY&feature=relmfu

Oh..and your horlicks has been bagged for safe keeping.

.

[The Atheist]

It is marvelous to us how a little reminder of the late, great Ian Dury down the intertubes can set off a fuse within the Anglo Saxon community.

There ain't 'alf been some clever bastards, and Dury was definitely one of them.


This whole thread is beginning to smell a bit English.

Eh? We can't have that. I'll get Parker to cook up a curry and give it a more cosmopolitan smell for a few days.

[prendrelemick]

Mmm curry, Britains favourite dish.


By the way what are rollicks?

[The Atheist]

Lot of thread-closing going on around here.

I've told Parker to be extra-careful on the doors, but I worry he might be keeping everyone out!

:D

Remember, only ten days until the Rugby World Cup starts.

[prendrelemick]

Perhaps this is the year your lot remember they are the best, and play like it.

[Paulclem]

Just got a new - bigger 32 inch - telly, so I might be able to see who's playing. I have a particular seat on the edge of the settee which affords me the best view. I'll also benefit for Match of the Day on saturday and Sunday. Haha!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Perhaps this is the year your lot remember they are the best, and play like it.

Sounds like rugby time again.



Just got a new - bigger 32 inch - telly, so I might be able to see who's playing. I have a particular seat on the edge of the settee which affords me the best view. I'll also benefit for Match of the Day on saturday and Sunday. Haha!

Congatulations. I suggest you break in that new idiot box with this Gurgle family favorite:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgWoPFX1Sz0

Get a load of all the great one liners.


I was checking out Wikipedia's; "On this day" and discivered that "A Trip to the Moon" was released on this day in in France 1902.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/04/Le_Voyage_dans_la_lune.jpg

.

[The Atheist]

Perhaps this is the year your lot remember they are the best, and play like it.

We're living in hope!

Actually, having gone into the last 3 RWCs as Tri-nations champs, going in this time after losing has taken some of the pressure off.

The country's just starting to fizz now - should be a great show.

As long as the weather holds!


Just got a new - bigger 32 inch - telly, so I might be able to see who's playing. I have a particular seat on the edge of the settee which affords me the best view. I'll also benefit for Match of the Day on saturday and Sunday. Haha!

Nice times for the games for you lot - I'd rather watch it at 8 am than 8 pm.


Sounds like rugby time again.

Sure is! Catch some action on ESPN.

If we don't win, there will be a national month of mourning after the event.

[soundofmusic]

Can't you get those people from the makeover show to give you a new house. What's the bloke's name - Cy. You work in a very creditable job - I think you've got a good case.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLF46JKkCNg

My sister had given me a phone number, seems several years ago one of those makeover shows were going to be in my area. Of course, they usually choose mansions so that the place looks a bit better after the makeover than it did before. But after seeing one show where the woman plastered hay on the walls, I thought I might be better off waiting for my cash flow to come in:frown2:





Nooooo! I was enjoying myself until you brought up the Xmas play. A certain person who I will not mention by name, but he comes from the Lone Star State enjoys gettin me during the Yuletide Season. Rule Brittania, Brittania rules the waves, Er:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6h8i8wrajA

Oh, we have to invite those two blokes also...I think I will come over to Britain this time in the HRM Camilla Bowles...:bigear:, oh, the fellow with the ears in Charles; though now that he has wrinkles, his ears don't seem quite so big.


That thought has occurred to every married man at least 100 times.



Not a chance!

I let him "drive" into the garage the other day, sitting on my knee.

Well, teach all of your children to drive before you reach your mid-50s; I'l tell you, my nerves are a mess now when there is anyone behind the wheel except me, even if I keep mistaking the neighbors for a cat waving at me and the garbadge cans as an extra bit of rode.



^Crickey Paul, It's a good job double entendres are passe.


Can't sleep? Try this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM4c2saspa0&feature=related

By the way:-

I was asked to set up a password to recieve my Email - It had to have at least 8 characters, so I chose Snow White and the seven dwarves.

The above was chosen as the best joke of this year's Edinburgh Festival.

Oh, god, that woke me up for good; I like counting sheep in pink tutoos...by the way, do you have any more gay tups?




"I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."

:skep::thumbsup:

If you can't sleep, you can try,
The curmudgeon's lullaby,
Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
Soon golden slumbers close your eye.

And golden dreams can then begin,
Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
And Parker comes and tucks you in,
And wipes the gin from off your chin,

God man, that is so beautiful it almost made me cry.

[The Atheist]

Something happened to your avatar, Sound - it's turned into a small alien thingy.

[Paulclem]

My sister had given me a phone number, seems several years ago one of those makeover shows were going to be in my area. Of course, they usually choose mansions so that the place looks a bit better after the makeover than it did before. But after seeing one show where the woman plastered hay on the walls, I thought I might be better off waiting for my cash flow to come in:frown2:



Yes - I don't like them anymore. I watched our first ones in the 90's, but I quicky got bored with them.

It's the same with cooking shows and quizzes. I would never watch any of them except as a social thing with Mrs P.

I've never lied soaps and I,m not keen on lots of detectives. My favourite one - Dalzial and Pascoe is the one Mrs P doesn't like. I like it because the two detectives are very miserable and it's set in Yorkshire.

We often have "Murder She Wrote" on and I marvel at the new clothes everyone wears... and the wigs...I don't like it though.

[prendrelemick]

Oh, god, that woke me up for good; I like counting sheep in pink tutoos...by the way, do you have any more gay tups?



:skep::thumbsup:


God man, that is so beautiful it almost made me cry.


I only have one tup to buy this year, a Derbyshire Gritstone, to service my maiden gimmers. I shall flourishing my testicle tape in markets up and down the north of England (or at least I will until I'm invited to leave.) I just hope may Gaydar is in better working order than it was last year.

[MarkBastable]

In our house, we like 'which of these people is the least likeable?' shows, such as Come Dine With Me and Four Weddings, and we watch them en famille, eating shish kebabs with our fingers while criticising the participants' tableware.

About the only show I'd watch on my own, apart from Match of the Day, is University Challenge. Sometimes my eight-year-old daughter sits with me and keeps my score.


I only have one tup to buy this year, a Derbyshire Gritstone, to service my maiden gimmers.

Please can I have that sentence to use as the opening line of a novel?

[prendrelemick]

of course you can, sounds like the kind of novel I would buy.

I do the score keeping on University Challenge too, (usually mid-teens,) but what I really like doing, is pouring scorn on today's students when they don't know something I do.

[Paulclem]

I'm crap at Uni Challenge. I like it better than other quiz shows though as it remains an aspiration to get more than two right. I'm too uncultured at most of it. No MOTD ths week. Bah.

[soundofmusic]

Something happened to your avatar, Sound - it's turned into a small alien thingy.

Ah yes, Jessica snapped a photo of me when I first got out of bed; I never comb my hair until I've had my kahluan coffee and I've found clothes that work well as both pajamas and day cloths.


Yes - I don't like them anymore. I watched our first ones in the 90's, but I quicky got bored with them.

It's the same with cooking shows and quizzes. I would never watch any of them except as a social thing with Mrs P.

I've never lied soaps and I,m not keen on lots of detectives. My favourite one - Dalzial and Pascoe is the one Mrs P doesn't like. I like it because the two detectives are very miserable and it's set in Yorkshire.

We often have "Murder She Wrote" on and I marvel at the new clothes everyone wears... and the wigs...I don't like it though.

I miss all the BBC shows we had when I had cable and public broadcasting: loved Sherlock Holmes with Jeremy Brett, The Miss Marple series, and when they ran the plays on the classics. I and mr sounds used to watch this old house; I began to realize that the home design shows were actually showing sets. Nowadays, I tend to like 48 hours mystery, South Park and I check out the newer movies at the library.


I only have one tup to buy this year, a Derbyshire Gritstone, to service my maiden gimmers. I shall flourishing my testicle tape in markets up and down the north of England (or at least I will until I'm invited to leave.) I just hope may Gaydar is in better working order than it was last year.

They have testicle tape:ihih:; I think I might start carrying that with me when I go out of the occasional date.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

This weekend we are entertaining my 7 year old Niece and Nephew (twins). Man I forgot how much work that can be.
I woke up at 5:30 am this morning thinking I was going to have a couple of hours of solitude. No chance!
They came down about 0600 asking to watch TV, play video games, etc.
Not in this house I told them, unless it's something like "Earth vs the Flying Saucers"
I managed to remedy the situation; no sooner than you could say SpongeBob, my Niece was watercolor painting and my Nephew broke out the "army box" full of my son's plastic militarys toys.
I played Dvorak in the background.
It's amazing when you give your imagination a chance.

.

[Paulclem]

This weekend we are entertaining my 7 year old Niece and Nephew (twins). Man I forgot how much work that can be.
I woke up at 5:30 am this morning thinking I was going to have a couple of hours of solitude. No chance!
They came down about 0600 asking to watch TV, play video games, etc.
Not in this house I told them, unless it's something like "Earth vs the Flying Saucers"
I managed to remedy the situation; no sooner than you could say SpongeBob, my Niece was watercolor painting and my Nephew broke out the "army box" full of my son's plastic militarys toys.
I played Dvorak in the background.
It's amazing when you give your imagination a chance.

.

:biggrin5:

I know what you mean.We had our 3 year old niece over the summer holidays. When my wife said - Is it ok ? I said yes of course - foolishly thinking it would be a two or perhaps three nights. I turned out to be six nights!! We were completely exhausted at the end of it - even though she was as good as gold and slept for a solid 12 hours a night virtually as soon as her head hit the pillow. The 12 hours went from 6 until 6 of course, and so it was an early start.

I'll be writing a blog about it later when I get round to it.



I miss all the BBC shows we had when I had cable and public broadcasting: loved Sherlock Holmes with Jeremy Brett, The Miss Marple series, and when they ran the plays on the classics. I and mr sounds used to watch this old house; I began to realize that the home design shows were actually showing sets. Nowadays, I tend to like 48 hours mystery, South Park and I check out the newer movies at the library.



The show Mark mentioned - Come Dine with Me is interesting. A group of four or five people have the group round to their place in turn. The others mark them on food, entertainment and ambience. It can be quite funny

[The Atheist]

They have testicle tape:ihih:; I think I might start carrying that with me when I go out of the occasional date.

Oh god, please put it on YouTube when you whip out the tape!

Speaking of TV; does anyone else watch "Balls of Steel"? Some of it's a bit droll, but the Bunny Boiler (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ8xDSEqzto) is comedy gold.

Cor blimey.

You want to know the worst thing about being in business?

When people don't pay their damned bills.

We have enough money owing to buy a couple of third world countries.

Lucky Parker runs a tab!

Drinks all round then. (Make mine a triple)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Cor blimey.

You want to know the worst thing about being in business?

When people don't pay their damned bills.

We have enough money owing to buy a couple of third world countries.

Lucky Parker runs a tab!

Drinks all round then. (Make mine a triple)


Parker, if you would hold mine at a single; I need to get these bills out.

.

[prendrelemick]

Back from visiting the daughter in Devon. (It rained alot.) Had intended to collect photos for a book idea I've had, entitled "The Sheds of Devon", however the whole county has been so gentrified, restored and done-up, I only found gazebos, garden lodges and wendy houses.

[The Atheist]

Back from visiting the daughter in Devon. (It rained alot.)

Drought over then?

:D


Had intended to collect photos for a book idea I've had, entitled "The Sheds of Devon", however the whole county has been so gentrified, restored and done-up, I only found gazebos, garden lodges and wendy houses.

:smilielol5:

England, oh England, wherefore art thou?

(Oop north, lud!)

[Paulclem]

Back from visiting the daughter in Devon. (It rained alot.) Had intended to collect photos for a book idea I've had, entitled "The Sheds of Devon", however the whole county has been so gentrified, restored and done-up, I only found gazebos, garden lodges and wendy houses.

:biggrin5:
Was "Shed of Devon" going to be a pamphlet? Fascinating subject I bet. A bloke who knew a friend had turned his garage into a shed. He had a suite in there with a telly and his homebrew wine and beer.

He was a shed God.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I only have one tup to buy this year, a Derbyshire Gritstone, to service my maiden gimmers....


...Please can I have that sentence to use as the opening line of a novel?


Back from visiting the daughter in Devon. (It rained alot.) Had intended to collect photos for a book idea I've had, entitled "The Sheds of Devon", however the whole county has been so gentrified, restored and done-up, I only found gazebos, garden lodges and wendy houses.

That is a brilliant idea and wonderful title and you already have the opening line, unless of course Mark beats you to it.

Are gnomes common among sheds and allotments?

.

[Paulclem]

Not common, though there may be some. They are not common in gardens either, but there are people who have them. They tend to be people who have lots rather than just one - odd in other words.:biggrin5:

[prendrelemick]

After the so called performance of our representative rugby teams yesterday, I'm feeling a unusual kinship and empathy with Jocky this morning. (I even had porridge.)

[The Atheist]

After the so called performance of our representative rugby teams yesterday, I'm feeling a unusual kinship and empathy with Jocky this morning. (I even had porridge.)

Did you see the Wales game?

They won 19-17, but the scoreboard had them losing 16-19.

[prendrelemick]

Yes but thats Wales for you. Play well, deserve to win, should have won, yet they are unlucky enough to lose by a thousand to one chance. Its why the Welsh are all tragic poets at heart, they know that for them life is unfair.

[MarkBastable]

On the sheds idea, we have a book in our downstairs cloakroom called 'Privies of the Cotswolds', which is a book of pictures of, er, privies in the Cotswolds. So there's obviously a market for this sort of thing.

As for gnomes, I have heard that they are making an ironic post-modern comeback. We had a couple of plastic gnomes in our front garden when I was a kid, and I was very fond of them. Of course, now that I'm grown-up I'm way above such things. Which is why we have a concrete gargoyle in our back garden.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

70 days of 100+ deg F this summer surpassing 1980's record of 69 days.
That's why I've had gnomes on my mind.
Folks around here say gnomes can bring bring rain.
I'm willin to try anything.


http://nationalguitarmuseum.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/allthings.jpg


.

[The Atheist]

Folks around here say gnomes can bring bring rain.
I'm willin to try anything.


We have plenty - I'll send you some of ours.

[jocky]

After the so called performance of our representative rugby teams yesterday, I'm feeling a unusual kinship and empathy with Jocky this morning. (I even had porridge.)

Aye, well at least you beat Argentina. Just for once I am praying that we can get to the point where we can meet your lot to reach the next round. Can you imagine it? Computers thrown out of the window, loads of wailing and gnashing of teeth, and the last minute penalty taken by none other than Johnny Wilkinson to decide who goes through.

After all of the armchair excitement where the only time that any of us has broken sweat is when we asked the missus to open a tin and make us a salmon sandwich, the winners will wait with baited breath for who we are drawn against in the next round.

Oh no, TONGA ! Well we will clear up our empty cans, or in some cases empty Newcastle Brown bottles, and troop off to our beds with the consolation of knowing that the Kiwis have been drawn against the Aussies. :nopity:

[The Atheist]

Oh no, TONGA ! Well we will clear up our empty cans, or in some cases empty Newcastle Brown bottles, and troop off to our beds with the consolation of knowing that the Kiwis have been drawn against the Aussies. :nopity:

I'm not too worried about Australia - our bogey team looks like being the same old suspect: France.

[prendrelemick]

Bradford council have set a new standard in ineptitude by failing to organise the Annual Bradford Curry festival in time .


Piss up in a brewery doesn't come close.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

We have plenty - I'll send you some of ours.

It’s raining!!

By God they were right, yes; the people were right…Gnomes can bring rain!
I applied the principles of gnomen necromancy starting with a bottle of Moinette Belgian Ale, followed by three shakes of a divining stick above the gnomes head while chanting; “Agua fria my little friend, agua fria my little friend…”. Before you could say Travelocity, the heavens let fly a fair fusillade of a frog strangler.

And some credit goes to the Atheist. Thanks for your part in sending that rain.





Bradford council have set a new standard in ineptitude by failing to organise the Annual Bradford Curry festival in time .


Piss up in a brewery doesn't come close.


Is this what you are referring to?:

http://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/news/local/localbrad/9244631.City_Park_delay_means_Bradford_can_t_host_ Curry_Festival/


Makes you want to sing the blues:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g30nwCpyaA

.

[Shalot]

Again, I'm not a bloke but I am having a Hitachino Ginger Beer. I got it because it had an owl on the label. It's pretty good. My ego says that drinking beer with a good logo design is always better than drinking lousy skanky alcohol products that come in a plastic jug so that you don't break it when you crash into the card table it was sitting on and waste tomorrow's buzz as well. Family Dollar sells mouthwash in plastic containers. Just FYI.

[The Atheist]

What a damned shame we don't have any Irish members!

(Did we ban the micks at the start?)

They certainly owed Aussie that one. While it wasn't the greatest spectacle, it's great to see old-fashioned guts and determination win.

[MarkBastable]

What a damned shame we don't have any Irish members!

(Did we ban the micks at the start?)

They certainly owed Aussie that one. While it wasn't the greatest spectacle, it's great to see old-fashioned guts and determination win.

I have no idea what's being discussed here. Has there been some sort of televised drinking contest?

[prendrelemick]

Again, I'm not a bloke but I am having a Hitachino Ginger Beer. I got it because it had an owl on the label. It's pretty good. My ego says that drinking beer with a good logo design is always better than drinking lousy skanky alcohol products that come in a plastic jug so that you don't break it when you crash into the card table it was sitting on and waste tomorrow's buzz as well. Family Dollar sells mouthwash in plastic containers. Just FYI.



Can I recommend the Listerine, a delicate bouquet, clean taste and a sparkle on the tongue.

[Paulclem]

What a damned shame we don't have any Irish members!



We may have Irish members. It depends upon the genetic distribution - allegedly - if we have part Irish ancestry. :D

[jocky]

Again, I'm not a bloke

I believed you the first time but now I am beginning to think that you are not too sure. So what do you think of this one ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1zsRRt1FWE

Continuing on the Irish theme how about this ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYYbK2sDaJ4

[The Atheist]

I have no idea what's being discussed here. Has there been some sort of televised drinking contest?

Don't be silly, nobody beats Australia at drinking games.

Rugby.

[prendrelemick]

Glorious Albion has once more stretched her mighty arm to the ruin and confusion of her less fortunate opponents, and beaten Georgia:rolleyes5:

[soundofmusic]

I have no idea what's being discussed here. Has there been some sort of televised drinking contest?

You or me either one, Mark; but I am sure the blokes have been up to no good without one of us keeping an eye on them. As for me, it is a very sad story, a lightening storm hit a tree and took out, in one lick, my phone and computer lines....I have been lost. I have been talking everyday with wonderfully articulate and polite people who tell me how sorry they are for my loss and even sorrier for their impotence...Now the average American is very happy when he can talk to another American about his technical problems; me, I don't care what nationality or religion they are, just send me someone who can fix my phone. I would have tipped Osama if he could give me phone service:idea::lol: Well, today, an adorable little fellow with big blue eyes, long eyelashes and a beer belly...he would have gotten on great with all of us, I'm sure, fixed my stuff and I fell in love...he even gave me his phone number:drool5:

[Paulclem]

You or me either one, Mark; but I am sure the blokes have been up to no good without one of us keeping an eye on them. As for me, it is a very sad story, a lightening storm hit a tree and took out, in one lick, my phone and computer lines....I have been lost. I have been talking everyday with wonderfully articulate and polite people who tell me how sorry they are for my loss and even sorrier for their impotence...Now the average American is very happy when he can talk to another American about his technical problems; me, I don't care what nationality or religion they are, just send me someone who can fix my phone. I would have tipped Osama if he could give me phone service:idea::lol: Well, today, an adorable little fellow with big blue eyes, long eyelashes and a beer belly...he would have gotten on great with all of us, I'm sure, fixed my stuff and I fell in love...he even gave me his phone number:drool5:

Ib was beginning to think we hadn't seen you for a while. Glad to have you back.

Tis the season for the Rugby world cup, which I am not catching much due to the screening in the UK in the morning, and the tyranny of the remote control - i get it late when everyone's in bed.

[soundofmusic]

Ib was beginning to think we hadn't seen you for a while. Glad to have you back.

Tis the season for the Rugby world cup, which I am not catching much due to the screening in the UK in the morning, and the tyranny of the remote control - i get it late when everyone's in bed.

Thank you Paul, I missed you guys too.

[Paulclem]

Thank you Paul, I missed you guys too.

By the way - I meant to post that the US had beaten Russia in the Rugby World Cup.

[The Atheist]

Glorious Albion has once more stretched her mighty arm to the ruin and confusion of her less fortunate opponents, and beaten Georgia:rolleyes5:

Yes, another mighty win against mighty opponents!


I have been lost.

but now you're found again!

Yay.


Tis the season for the Rugby world cup, which I am not catching much due to the screening in the UK in the morning, and the tyranny of the remote control - i get it late when everyone's in bed.

You need to man up and take ownership of those things rightfully the domain of men.

At least you won't miss much [of England] in the knockout stages.

:D

[Paulclem]

You need to man up and take ownership of those things rightfully the domain of men.

At least you won't miss much [of England] in the knockout stages.

:D

:lol:

Yes I must man up... I will...definately...

[jocky]

Thank you Paul, I missed you guys too.

Since no one is talking to me due to my latest inexcusable faux pas I might as well entertain the ladies. Mrs Jocky enjoys this but I am not so keen on it myself, for obvious reasons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pu0Fn1oRN4

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Glorious Albion...

I have no clue who that is, but what a great character name.
She'll make a great addition to the caste for this year's play.



Thank you Paul, I missed you guys too.

Welcome back, we missed you!
How goes it with you and "eyelashes"?


Since no one is talking to me due to my latest inexcusable faux pas I might as well entertain the ladies. Mrs Jocky enjoys this but I am not so keen on it myself, for obvious reasons.

Jocky, if you like, you're more than welcome to hang out with me and the Baller Girls...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLpS4Phe0Wc

.

[Paulclem]

Since no one is talking to me due to my latest inexcusable faux pas I might as well entertain the ladies. Mrs Jocky enjoys this but I am not so keen on it myself, for obvious reasons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pu0Fn1oRN4

I'll see you down the club and we'll have a dram or two - if Mrs Jocky/Paulclem will allow. :D

Mick and the Atheist are watching the rugby re-runs in the TV room, and Mark, Gilliatt and sounds are joining us later.

I don't know where the Doc has got to.

[soundofmusic]

I believed you the first time but now I am beginning to think that you are not too sure. So what do you think of this one ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1zsRRt1FWE

Continuing on the Irish theme how about this ?



I like the way that bloke plays the guitar, sorry, I got stuck staring at those powerful thighs and forgot to listen to him singing....the only men in our country who have that nice of hair and thighs are wearing dresses.


By the way - I meant to post that the US had beaten Russia in the Rugby World Cup.

Thank you, Paul, I take full credit for that.


Yes, another mighty win against mighty opponents!

but now you're found again!

Yay.

You need to man up and take ownership of those things rightfully the domain of men.

At least you won't miss much [of England] in the knockout stages.

:D

Thank you, Atheist, how goes the moving?


Since no one is talking to me due to my latest inexcusable faux pas I might as well entertain the ladies. Mrs Jocky enjoys this but I am not so keen on it myself, for obvious reasons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pu0Fn1oRN4

Did I miss a Jocky faux pas, darn...Well, thank you for the entertainment, I don't think I've ever seen Annie and Aretha together.


I have no clue who that is, but what a great character name.
She'll make a great addition to the caste for this year's play.




Welcome back, we missed you!
How goes it with you and "eyelashes"?



Jocky, if you like, you're more than welcome to hang out with me and the Baller Girls...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLpS4Phe0Wc

.

Thank you, Gilliatt, ah, sadly, eyelashes is gone for good I'm afraid. I looked at the card he gave me and realized it only has a first name; so I can't even stalk him properly:auto::lol:


I'll see you down the club and we'll have a dram or two - if Mrs Jocky/Paulclem will allow. :D

Mick and the Atheist are watching the rugby re-runs in the TV room, and Mark, Gilliatt and sounds are joining us later.

I don't know where the Doc has got to.

Where have you been Paul, me and Mrs Paul have already given the chippendales most of our change and are short on beer money.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I'll see you down the club and we'll have a dram or two - if Mrs Jocky/Paulclem will allow. :D

Mick and the Atheist are watching the rugby re-runs in the TV room, and Mark, Gilliatt and sounds are joining us later.

I don't know where the Doc has got to.


Paul, would you be so kind as to read to us while we drink?...


http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/ZaneGreycover.jpg


http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/ZaneGreyCopyrightpage.jpg


.

[Paulclem]

My pleasure

[prendrelemick]

To paraphrase Terry Pratchett, That book is not only slightly foxed, but has been badgered and moosed as well.

Reading Sounds' latest adventure reminded me of this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v24Qdvij_zM

[The Atheist]

Since no one is talking to me due to my latest inexcusable faux pas I might as well entertain the ladies.

No, mate. I haven't been talking to anyone.

All five of us went to the Dr on Tuesday, we are all crook, but I think we're recovering.

There is a viral tracheitis going around and it is not your friend.

You should be fine up there where it's too cold for them. ;)


I have no clue who that is, but what a great character name.

You'll find a lot of agreement in that! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albion)

Although it is more often heard in this sense. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfidious_Albion)



Thank you, Atheist, how goes the moving?

The move was fine, went like clockwork.

Now, if we can just shift this bloody virus...


Paul, would you be so kind as to read to us while we drink?...

Zane Grey is one of those people I love and hate.

Love his writing.

Hate his fishing. Once I catch a bigger marlin than him, I'll just love him.

(I'll discount that his monsters were caught off a rowboat with a bamboo pole, though)

:D

[soundofmusic]

To paraphrase Terry Pratchett, That book is not only slightly foxed, but has been badgered and moosed as well.

Reading Sounds' latest adventure reminded me of this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v24Qdvij_zM

That is one great song. I'm afraid all I got from the blue eyed stranger is a plug with a splitter:(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtzoUu7w-YM&feature=related but, speaking of great songs...I think.


No, mate. I haven't been talking to anyone.

All five of us went to the Dr on Tuesday, we are all crook, but I think we're recovering.

There is a viral tracheitis going around and it is not your friend.

You should be fine up there where it's too cold for them. ;)



You'll find a lot of agreement in that! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albion)

Although it is more often heard in this sense. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfidious_Albion)




The move was fine, went like clockwork.

Now, if we can just shift this bloody virus...



Zane Grey is one of those people I love and hate.

Love his writing.

Hate his fishing. Once I catch a bigger marlin than him, I'll just love him.

(I'll discount that his monsters were caught off a rowboat with a bamboo pole, though)

:D

Hope you feel better soon. This illness is in every country; I've got something over here too.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...You'll find a lot of agreement in that! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albion)

Although it is more often heard in this sense. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfidious_Albion)

...Zane Grey is one of those people I love and hate.

Love his writing.

Hate his fishing. Once I catch a bigger marlin than him, I'll just love him.

(I'll discount that his monsters were caught off a rowboat with a bamboo pole, though)



"Glorious Albion" - Thanks, now I understand Prendrelemick's posting; Britain destroyed the mighty "Peach State" in rugby. Makes perfect sense now.


To paraphrase Terry Pratchett, That book is not only slightly foxed, but has been badgered and moosed as well.

Reading Sounds' latest adventure reminded me of this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v24Qdvij_zM

Honestly, I haven't read it myself, another from my Grandfather's library.
Great song choice.


...I'm afraid all I got from the blue eyed stranger is a plug with a splitter:(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtzoUu7w-YM&feature=related but, speaking of great songs...I think.


Who can forget "The Streak"?
Say, your blue eyed, plug and splitter beau reminded of that old saying; "The postman always knocks twice". Is that how it goes?

.

[The Atheist]

Hope you feel better soon. This illness is in every country; I've got something over here too.

It's the worst virus I've ever had. Not the most violent, maybe - some kinds of 'flu make you sicker - but this one just won't give up.

I've noticed an improvement over the last couple of days, but a 2-3% improvement is all.

The baby has been sick with it for 16 days now, and again, while he's getting better, it's sooo slooooooow.

We'll get there!

Hope yours doesn't turn out this bad.

[Paulclem]

Sorry to hear about the virus. 16 days is a long time for the kiddy.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

It's the worst virus I've ever had. Not the most violent, maybe - some kinds of 'flu make you sicker - but this one just won't give up.

I've noticed an improvement over the last couple of days, but a 2-3% improvement is all.

The baby has been sick with it for 16 days now, and again, while he's getting better, it's sooo slooooooow.

We'll get there!

Hope yours doesn't turn out this bad.

Hope all get well soon.
So far we're doing fine here, other than a brief mild cold for me.

.

[soundofmusic]

Who can forget "The Streak"?
Say, your blue eyed, plug and splitter beau reminded of that old saying; "The postman always knocks twice". Is that how it goes?

.

I never watched that movie; but sounds intriguing. Anyway, blue eyes is gone until the next phone outage and I am in the midst of helping daughter to clear out and find new homes for 20 years worth of trend shopping. Last night I was up until 4am, pulling apart a hogwarts castle that would not make all of its screams and open doors, found that Professor Snape had somehow fallen down into the wiring and was bent over in the whole mess looking very distressed and keeping the thing from closing properly. All fixed, checked ebay and the day before, this was going for 369 dollars, the following day there were so many on it that it had dropped to 40. :mad5:
:yikes:

It's the worst virus I've ever had. Not the most violent, maybe - some kinds of 'flu make you sicker - but this one just won't give up.

I've noticed an improvement over the last couple of days, but a 2-3% improvement is all.

The baby has been sick with it for 16 days now, and again, while he's getting better, it's sooo slooooooow.

We'll get there!

Hope yours doesn't turn out this bad.

Poor you, poor baby! I had a virus like that several months ago, went on for 2 months...Well, I like blaming it on the government trying to get rid of us oldsters and unwanted illegal aliens:sosp::hat: The doctor told me mine was chronic sinusitis:out:

Sorry to hear about the virus. 16 days is a long time for the kiddy.

I don't remember ever bein sick for more than 3 days when I was a child; though, it was often really bad in those days. Nowadays, it tends to hit the immune system and just half hit and half linger.


Hope all get well soon.
So far we're doing fine here, other than a brief mild cold for me.

.

I'm sniffing, today I was cooking and the nose started running...then washing dishes...and the nose started running...it stops as soon as my hands are free.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...We'll get there!

Hope yours doesn't turn out this bad.

I just recalled one of our sure fire home remedies. Keep a pinch of this between your cheek and gum and rub a little under your nose each night and you will soon forget about your ailments!

http://www.hotsauceaddicts.com/images/chile-ristra.jpg

.



... Last night I was up until 4am, pulling apart a hogwarts castle that would not make all of its screams and open doors, found that Professor Snape had somehow fallen down into the wiring and was bent over in the whole mess looking very distressed and keeping the thing from closing properly...

Great story. Sometimes it's hard letting go of those things. My son still has his version of Hogwarts castle constructed of legos, on his dresser. At least there are no wires to contend with. Dismantling shouldn't be a problem either...perhaps an "accidental" drop on the floor?

.

[prendrelemick]

Namibia may not be a contender in the Rugby, but that National Anthem will take alot of beating.

Meanwhile its High noon for the Scots, who will have to beat the auld enemy to progress.

[soundofmusic]

I just recalled one of our sure fire home remedies. Keep a pinch of this between your cheek and gum and rub a little under your nose each night and you will soon forget about your ailments!

http://www.hotsauceaddicts.com/images/chile-ristra.jpg

.

Great story. Sometimes it's hard letting go of those things. My son still has his version of Hogwarts castle constructed of legos, on his dresser. At least there are no wires to contend with. Dismantling shouldn't be a problem either...perhaps an "accidental" drop on the floor?

.

Wow, hot peppers, they are certainly popular down this way. I've noticed though that all the folks run around coughing; but the cold never gets them down. I can barely handle the heat, so I do a little red pepper sprinkle in my food.
Yeah, we had stopped buying the hogwarts by the time lego was out; we have the really old stuff. I was tempted to buy the Star Wars Lego AtAT...

[Paulclem]

Wow, hot peppers, they are certainly popular down this way. I've noticed though that all the folks run around coughing; but the cold never gets them down. I can barely handle the heat, so I do a little red pepper sprinkle in my food.
Yeah, we had stopped buying the hogwarts by the time lego was out; we have the really old stuff. I was tempted to buy the Star Wars Lego AtAT...

My brother had the Millennium Falcon and a Han Solo action figure - plus others. Later he got into trading figures on e bay.

[The Atheist]

Sorry to hear about the virus. 16 days is a long time for the kiddy.

I can finally say that we're getting better here!

We all had some sleep last night for the first time since in over a fortnight and the baby slept in his own bed all night!

You know that day when you know you're actually going to get all the way better, and not linger on forever in a haze of fever, viruses, medicines and vapours?

Today is that day!


Hope all get well soon.
So far we're doing fine here, other than a brief mild cold for me.

.

The scary part is, that's how it started. I had a slight cold for a couple of days, skited about how healthy I was only having a little runny nose...


...then WHAMMO!

I sure hope you miss that!

:D


Poor you, poor baby! I had a virus like that several months ago, went on for 2 months...Well, I like blaming it on the government trying to get rid of us oldsters and unwanted illegal aliens:sosp::hat: The doctor told me mine was chronic sinusitis:out:

I'm hiring you as nurse next time.

That was one of the hardest parts - all of us sick as parrots, but the kids still gotta eat and they don't feed themselves.

Why the hell didn't I just have cats?


Namibia may not be a contender in the Rugby, but that National Anthem will take alot of beating.

Meanwhile its High noon for the Scots, who will have to beat the auld enemy to progress.

That was disappointing.

Losing to Argentina is poor work - they are so one dimensional that any original test nation should just bury them

I think we'd better get jocky on a scouting mission for rugby coaches or something. There is no good reason why Scotland should be crap at a game that's made for them. Despite the fact that they've never beaten us, they were always looked at as classier and more dangerous (and more physical) opponents than any other home union.

On the basis of losing to Argentina, I can't imagine them troubling England.

[prendrelemick]

HRT. Three little letters that strike fear into the heart of any chap hoping for a quiet passage into his dotage. :p

[Paulclem]

A bloke I used to know went on about that, and the sudden energy. Is that why viagra's become so popular?

[prendrelemick]

Could be, It's probably the same drug company selling both.




Sacre Bleu!! I bet The French weren't expecting that.

[prendrelemick]

OK, so now we know England arn't going to win the rugby world cup. So why not relax and play with a bit of flair. Win a few friends instead.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

HRT. Three little letters that strike fear into the heart of any chap hoping for a quiet passage into his dotage. :p

I'm right there with you, we entered those turbulent waters nearly a year ago. I'm passing my quiet dotage and dodging pans by retreating here...

(Note: The ladder is the back way out in case she discovers my whereabouts)

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/IMG_1350.jpg


.

[prendrelemick]

A good plan there G, take and hold the high ground!

[Paulclem]

That's a great refuge. I ike refuges with an alternative exit for just the reasons you've cited. I can still run a bit too, so I'd have a head start. The only problem is that on your dash away you'll hear those immortal and universal words - "you've got to come back some time!"

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

That's a great refuge. I ike refuges with an alternative exit for just the reasons you've cited. I can still run a bit too, so I'd have a head start. The only problem is that on your dash away you'll hear those immortal and universal words - "you've got to come back some time!"

Yeah, but you've got two refuges and a field full of potatos to sustain you while on the lam. I'd imagine you could hold out for some time.

.

[Paulclem]

Anyone going down the club? Parker - my good fellow - would you pour me a double.

Cheers!

[jocky]

Anyone going down the club? Parker - my good fellow - would you pour me a double.

Cheers!

I will be there Paul you will recognize me straight away by the tears streaming
down my kilt. I have finally came to terms with my country's humiliating exit from the rugby union world cup. Thank God Mrs jocky was there to comfort me in my hour of need;

" Get over it you daft git "

I have heard an ugly rumour that the French front row is going to be be beefed up by Kiwi waitresses who apparently have a few scores to settle. :smilewinkgrin:

[Paulclem]

I will be there Paul you will recognize me straight away by the tears streaming
down my kilt. I have finally came to terms with my country's humiliating exit from the rugby union world cup. Thank God Mrs jocky was there to comfort me in my hour of need;

" Get over it you daft git "

I have heard an ugly rumour that the French front row is going to be be beefed up by Kiwi waitresses who apparently have a few scores to settle. :smilewinkgrin:

I know the feeling well from the footie.

She's not playing hooker is she?

[prendrelemick]

Even England's off pitch scandals are boring.


I shall be watching the Rugby League Grand Final at Old Trafford on Saturday as an antidote.

[MarkBastable]

I used to play Rugby Union at school - and pretty much despised it, even though our Games Master was Mervyn Davies (http://www.espnscrum.com/wales/rugby/player/7475.html). But I found myself watching some Rugby League game on telly a couple of months ago and I thought, "Hang on - this is a much better game than the other one..."

[Paulclem]

I used to play Rugby Union at school - and pretty much despised it, even though our Games Master was Mervyn Davies (http://www.espnscrum.com/wales/rugby/player/7475.html). But I found myself watching some Rugby League game on telly a couple of months ago and I thought, "Hang on - this is a much better game than the other one..."

I remember Mervyn Davies and when he had the brain problem and had to quit the game. I used to like the internationals, but I was brought up on league.

When I first began it was a slower game with more scrums and less kicking than now. They changed the rules in my late teens so that there was no scrum after 6 tackles, but it went automatically to the other side. So the kicking game developed much more and the game got faster. Now you don't get the big fat forwards you used to get, but these really quick athletes who are also built like the proverbial small room.

It made it a much better game.

[jocky]

The talk of rugby league is interesting in the intellectual sense. In Scotland we can appreciate the merit of knocking seven bells out of our opponenents until the sixth tackle when one gets the relief of a two second breather and one never has to think for five seconds on the point of the game.

Eddie Waring may have influenced our attitude :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYXsroqcVqA

Give me good old kick and clap anyday. To Mick, I can see why you are getting weary of the game but I think this is more to do with teams closing down the opposition out of fear of losing , rather than playing the expansive offensive game which we all love. If England, and it is a big if, lose the fear and play as they can they have the talent to go all the way.

[prendrelemick]

The trouble with kick and clap is that there is no room, you can't see the ball, you can't see what's going on, you can't tell why a penalty is given, or why a scrum is re-set 4 times. The whistle blower IS the man.

England's tactics are to have pile-ons laterally across the pitch untill they are awarded a penalty, when the sainted Johnnie can step up and collect the points. The wingers are practically redundant, just trotting up and down the touchline for an hour and a half.

Do they have the talent to go all the way? They have yet to show it.

[prendrelemick]

Now paul, I know you're a little worried about the procedures of prostate cancer screening, so here's a short film that may help with any issues you may have.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b015r55r/Rab_C_Nesbitt_Series_10_Broke/

[Paulclem]

Now paul, I know you're a little worried about the procedures of prostate cancer screening, so here's a short film that may help with any issues you may have.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b015r55r/Rab_C_Nesbitt_Series_10_Broke/

Excellent. I bet they use it as a training video when the cuts begin to bite.

That line:

"I've got an a*se like a screaming skull.

Is brilliant.

[Paulclem]

Just seen England lose. Bah. You were right about the French Atheist. Perhaps we should get you a line to Martin Johnson - or the next coach if he gets the boot.

[prendrelemick]

I know you will not see or hear much about it beyond the M62 corridor, but try and watch the Rugby League Grand Final if you can. It was quite good.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Now paul, I know you're a little worried about the procedures of prostate cancer screening, so here's a short film that may help with any issues you may have.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b015r55r/Rab_C_Nesbitt_Series_10_Broke/


Excellent. I bet they use it as a training video when the cuts begin to bite.

That line:

"I've got an a*se like a screaming skull.

Is brilliant.

The BBC signal fell short of Texas, so I looked up A*se like a screaming skull and found this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXBVkYB2Kio

.

[Paulclem]

The BBC signal fell short of Texas, so I looked up A*se like a screaming skull and found this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXBVkYB2Kio

.

I saw that film when I was a lad. I laughed at the insurance policy to cover anyone who died of fright. Brilliant.


I know you will not see or hear much about it beyond the M62 corridor, but try and watch the Rugby League Grand Final if you can. It was quite good.

What a try from Rob Burrow. Fantastic. I'm glad Leeds won. St Helens were always our big rivals when I was playing, and I had mates who played for Leeds.

[jocky]

The perfect remedy for prostrate problems and those nightmares about nasty Scotsmen :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LdVbOlkMlU

Anyone for a dip the waters fine ?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2011/oct/09/police-manu-tuilagi-ferry-martin-johnson

[Paulclem]

The perfect remedy for prostrate problems and those nightmares about nasty Scotsmen :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LdVbOlkMlU

Anyone for a dip the waters fine ?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2011/oct/09/police-manu-tuilagi-ferry-martin-johnson

Only one slice?

The article says he has been disciplined internally. I wonder what they stuck where?

Oh well. They won the - Most fun team=cup.

[jocky]

No, mate. I haven't been talking to anyone.

All five of us went to the Dr on Tuesday, we are all crook, but I think we're recovering.

There is a viral tracheitis going around and it is not your friend.

You should be fine up there where it's too cold for them. ;)







I hope all is well with you and your family and that the viral tracheitis has run its course. Dont worry about us as our cold climate kills most viruses stone dead, unfortunately it has the same effect on our people. I have prepared Mrs Jocky for the coming winter by hiding her hat, gloves and ear warmers.

Paul :biggrin5:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

The perfect remedy for prostrate problems and those nightmares about nasty Scotsmen :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LdVbOlkMlU



Another brilliant entry Jocky.

My Texas Rangers took care of business tonight with a grand slam in the 11th.
This could be the year fellas.

.

[prendrelemick]

I hope Athiest hasn't been paddling in the Bay of Plenty and become oil -logged.

[jocky]

By all accounts it appears the Captain of the Rena is about to be transferred to a new post much more commensurate to his maritime abilities. Henceforth he is to be known as 42, serves the hapless git right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXh1tW16V-8

Old Beefheart knew the feeling well, he should have stuck to selling hoovers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21voUGVzym4

[prendrelemick]

I hope all is well with you and your family and that the viral tracheitis has run its course. Dont worry about us as our cold climate kills most viruses stone dead, unfortunately it has the same effect on our people. I have prepared Mrs Jocky for the coming winter by hiding her hat, gloves and ear warmers.

Paul :biggrin5:




Before you do anything rash Jocky make a careful assessment of her worth in thermal units. Mrs P was at her mothers last night, and I was bloody freezing . Can you afford to run the central heating all night?

[Paulclem]

It's still unseasonably warm down here, though it was chillier out this morning with the dog.

I'm expecting a cold shock any day, and I've just noticed the seagulls on the green, which haven't been there for quite a while.

[MarkBastable]

Seagulls in Coventry? What next - albatrosses in Nottingham?

For those who might not know where Coventry is...

http://i447.photobucket.com/albums/qq193/markbastable/Coventry.jpg


What you will notice is a total absence of what Fozzie Bear refers to as 'the big wet blue thing'.

[prendrelemick]

Is that old Brummie weather-lore?


When gulls do croi above the green,
A frost will next be seen.

When they return unto the cowst,
Cast your clout or yow will rowst.



Have you noticed that there are some sounds that can't be written down using the English alphabet?

[Paulclem]

:lol:

Yes - beats me but it's true.

Coventry is just about in the middle of England - Meriden, just outside Coventry, is the actual spot.

It's a little local lore I've pickd up myself. Apparently the term "seagulls"is a misnomer in that they are not exclsively seaside dwellers.

[jocky]

I suppose I will be in a minority of one, nothing unusual there , in pointing out that young Sam Warburton's tackle was deserving of the red card he got. It was a spear tackle, despite all the contrary reports by the so called experts, which could have resulted in the French player being paralysed for the rest of his life. I feel gutted for the Welsh and thought they were the better team even with fourteen men but the rule book applies regardless of the match being a World Cup semi final.

In the interests of fairness here is the majority contrary opinion:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/rugbyunion/article-2049561/Rugby-World-Cup-2011-Wales-8-France-9--Sam-warburton-red-card-ruins-day-destiny.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

[Abookinthebath]

I suppose I will be in a minority of one, nothing unusual there , in pointing out that young Sam Warburton's tackle was deserving of the red card he got. It was a spear tackle, despite all the contrary reports by the so called experts, which could have resulted in the French player being paralysed for the rest of his life. I feel gutted for the Welsh and thought they were the better team even with fourteen men but the rule book applies regardless of the match being a World Cup semi final.

In the interests of fairness here is the majority contrary opinion:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/rugbyunion/article-2049561/Rugby-World-Cup-2011-Wales-8-France-9--Sam-warburton-red-card-ruins-day-destiny.html?ito=feeds-newsxml


Fraid so, Jocky. Looked to me like a yellow card offence - he did let go of the French bloke instead of slamming him into the ground.

Thought the ref was poor anyway - The Welsh should never have had the penalty (which they just missed late on) - maybe he was just 'evening things out'!

[jocky]

Fraid so, Jocky. Looked to me like a yellow card offence - he did let go of the French bloke instead of slamming him into the ground.



Technically you are correct, he threw him headfirst to the ground from a great height but had the good manners to release him about six inches from impact. This would have done much to console the Frenchman if he had broken his neck. I stand by my original view.

[Abookinthebath]

Technically you are correct, he threw him headfirst to the ground from a great height but had the good manners to release him about six inches from impact. This would have done much to console the Frenchman if he had broken his neck. I stand by my original view.

LOL! I appreciate good manners!

He did land with a thump to be fair! Possibly borderline red, but a pity, cos the Welsh were immense (or the French rubbish), and It would have been a great game with even sides....

[prendrelemick]

A definite red card. Remember that O'Driscoll tackle, and what a wave of outrage there was from the Northern Hemisphere (including the Welsh) when the All Blacks weren't sent off. You can't have it both ways, spear tackles are outlawed.

What cost them the game was no one stepping up for a drop goal at the end.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Speaking of sports, the Rangers are World Series bound...again.
Hopefully they will clinch it this time around.

When I read "spear tackle", I think of the tackler lunging in head first as in NFL foortball. I realize now that Rugby spear is akin to a "Pile Driver" in wrasslin.


.

[prendrelemick]

I'll have to keep an eye on how they do, are you going to any of the games?

[jocky]

Speaking of sports, the Rangers are World Series bound...again.



.

I have been doing a little research into this and contrary to my original surmise found out they are a baseball team and not a football one. The nearest thing we have to that over here is 'Rounders'. Let us hope that you hear this many times in the upcoming World Series :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUHhTpgCwuo&feature=related

Ra Ra Rangers, Yeehaa !

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I'll have to keep an eye on how they do, are you going to any of the games?

I'm afraid not, the cost coupled with traffic and parking hassles, makes the tele and wild turkey so inviting.



I have been doing a little research into this and contrary to my original surmise found out they are a baseball team and not a football one. The nearest thing we have to that over here is 'Rounders'. Let us hope that you hear this many times in the upcoming World Series :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUHhTpgCwuo&feature=related

Ra Ra Rangers, Yeehaa !

Thanks Jocky. First game is this Wednesday.

This was something special:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hStrtU3c-eI&feature=related


.

[jocky]

Whatever has happenned to Soundo? Perhaps she has become weary of us blokes. ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-pmpgrYQgs

[Paulclem]

Yes, I wonder how she is.

I've been really busy over the past half term. I've got a day at Uni tomorrow for my Maths course, and then I'm off for a week. Lovely.

My daughter is in Japan at the moment on a school exchange. 10 days in Japan. When I was a lad I managed 4 days in Northumberland with the school. Northumberland is nice - don't get me wrong - but Japan would have been amazing.

It's quiet in the house, as the lad's at uni as well. Still, there's the dog. He's loud.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Lilly Von Schtupp as Soundo...yeah, I can see that.

and where has the New Zealand contingent been?

Paul,
Sounds like you got the run of the place for a while.
Enjoy it while you can.

.

[prendrelemick]

There's a turn up. The Welsh have lost and it's nothing to do with the match officials!



There is no way New Zealand can lose in the final.:devil:

[jocky]

One would never dream of putting the mockers on New Zealand before a match of this magnitude but :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4LNjNXt1yM&feature=fvst

[prendrelemick]

Le 'aka de Nouvelle Zealand est un peu comme see comme ca. Mais pour le chanson magnifique regardez cet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTuR7Pr9Csg&feature=related

[jocky]

Jamies l'espirit, Athee, ma famillie Ecossais et Chinois sont juste derriere vous.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6106/6264271584_9320eb3c47_b.jpg

[prendrelemick]

Ta shur tai how la, Lou Jocky

[jocky]

Ta shur tai how la, Lou Jocky

You have lost me there Mick so I phoned my grandson who knows everything and repeated your words, he fell silent for a moment and said ;

"Granda that sounds like Mandarin to me and you should know by now we speak Cantonese. "

A translation would be greatly appreciated.

[prendrelemick]

My boy who worked in China for two years is entirely to blame. Before he went he was warned not to try and speak the lingo to the natives, as a mere wrong inflection could be an unforgivable insult and result in a phalanx of ninjas creeping over his rooftop in the dead of night. (or is that a Japanese thing?)

Anyway, I asked him what the Chinese for "nice pic Jocky" was and the closest he could do was "It be wonderful Mr Jocky". However the spelling is my own, and is at best a rough approximation of the sounds that eminated from his contorted mouth.

[jocky]

:lol:

Thanks for that. Ta Shur, apart from being a district in Afghanistan, approximates to he said or she said. Ta is one of these strange Mandarin pronouns which does not recognise gender. The phrase Tae hao le in the main equates to wonderful but can mean nice or good. As to Lou I have not got a scooby but you did get jocky right.

In the interests of clarity I think we should leave the Chinese translations to Parker from now on.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

There's a turn up. The Welsh have lost and it's nothing to do with the match officials!

There is no way New Zealand can lose in the final.:devil:


One would never dream of putting the mockers on New Zealand before a match of this magnitude but :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4LNjNXt1yM&feature=fvst

Geez, I must have inadvertantly sideswiped into rugby, I was just wonderin' where ole Atheist took off too?



Le 'aka de Nouvelle Zealand est un peu comme see comme ca. Mais pour le chanson magnifique regardez cet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTuR7Pr9Csg&feature=related


Jamies l'espirit, Athee, ma famillie Ecossais et Chinois sont juste derriere vous.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6106/6264271584_9320eb3c47_b.jpg


Ta shur tai how la, Lou Jocky

I thought it was some form of Gaulish...I was reminded of this (the relative part is at the end...does it really matter on this thread?):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVI_nZrK3Uo


.

[jocky]

I thought it was some form of Gaulish...I was reminded of this (the relative part is at the end...does it really matter on this thread?):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVI_nZrK3Uo




.

"She didn't even say goodbye". :) That defeat by the Saint Louis Cardinals, apt name, has hit you harder than I thought. Never mind there is always the next game against them at home in Texas.This thread is getting absurd Au Revoir Gilliatt.

As for Atheist he is maybe waiting until after the final against France to make his triumphal return. He might think that any contact with us will jinx the Kiwis chances.

[Paulclem]

"She didn't even say goodbye". :) That defeat by the Saint Louis Cardinals, apt name, has hit you harder than I thought. Never mind there is always the next game against them at home in Texas.This thread is getting absurd Au Revoir Gilliatt.

As for Atheist he is maybe waiting until after the final against France to make his triumphal return. He might think that any contact with us will jinx the Kiwis chances.

I bet he'll be in the crowd - behind the posts even.

[jocky]

I bet he'll be in the crowd - behind the posts even.

I am impressed by the new clobber Paul only a class act would dress suitably for the Superhero weekend.

I hope you are right about Atheist.

[Paulclem]

I am impressed by the new clobber Paul only a class act would dress suitably for the Superhero weekend.

I hope you are right about Atheist.

It's the Superhero Weekend attire. I'm Nerdman!! I think I'd look good in purple and yellow.

[prendrelemick]

That was closer than anyone thought, but congratulations to New Zealand.

I would say the best team of the tournament won the World Cup. But the best team in the final lost.




It's all down to the referee anyway.

[Abookinthebath]

That was closer than anyone thought, but congratulations to New Zealand.

I would say the best team of the tournament won the World Cup. But the best team in the final lost.




It's all down to the referee anyway.


I'll second that, loads of unpunished high tackles.....

[jocky]

Well it was a long wait but we finally did it.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

That was closer than anyone thought, but congratulations to New Zealand.

I would say the best team of the tournament won the World Cup. But the best team in the final lost.

It's all down to the referee anyway.

Just watched the highlights video.
Congrats to New Zealand.

Not so for the Rangers, they took a thumping last night.
There's more baseball to play though.

.

[prendrelemick]

A long way to go yet GG .

[jocky]

If this doesn't tempt Soundo back then I am afraid we are lost guys :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjxY9rZwNGU&feature=related

[Paulclem]

I'm on a week off - fantastic. It's been an exceptionally busy half term for me as I've become the Manager of the building I work in. So we have the usual gripes - the car park is full, the computer's not working, there's not enough space in the Tutor room etc etc.

To cope with this I have adopted a Mafia attitude - "It's not personal - it's just business"". (Except of course on those occaisions when I employ the services of the "council assassin". (We also have a penal island somewhere in the Hebrides).

So, by a combination of hard work, negotiation and fantastical imaginings - I've got through term 2.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I envy and congratulate you Paul; a week off and wrapping up term 2.
Looks like you've gone back to the old look. How's the beard?
(I seem to recall a discussion about the beard as a means to hide certain anomolies. Am I right?)

Well, the Rangers managed to pull off a win last night (Monday) thanks to Mike Naploli, so we are up 3 games to 2 in the series. Just one more and we win the whole ball of wax.

.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

.

"Thou source of all my bliss and all my woe,
That found'st me poor at first, and keep'st me so" *

The Rangers lost.


*Oliver Goldsmith - The Deserted Village

[Paulclem]

I envy and congratulate you Paul; a week off and wrapping up term 2.
Looks like you've gone back to the old look. How's the beard?
(I seem to recall a discussion about the beard as a means to hide certain anomolies. Am I right?)

Well, the Rangers managed to pull off a win last night (Monday) thanks to Mike Naploli, so we are up 3 games to 2 in the series. Just one more and we win the whole ball of wax.

.

You're right. The beard has recently been trimmed. I don't like it long - just a chinbeard. I asked my wife a couple of years ago whether I should shave it off. She said no, as I have no chin. That provoked a number of posts from our disgruntled fellows with similar experiences. I recently asked her again, and she gave me that - "Do I really have to repeat myself" look. I think she has a practical view of me. When asked by my friend once why I was so cheerful, she attributed it to me being simple. I think I'll have something like that on my memorial plaque down at the crematorium.

I am lucky.I get a week off, but it's the half term holiday of term 1 - Autumn term here. 7 weeks to xmas hols now.

[prendrelemick]

.

"Thou source of all my bliss and all my woe,
That found'st me poor at first, and keep'st me so" *

The Rangers lost.


*Oliver Goldsmith - The Deserted Village


So, is that all square and one game to go? That's so much better than an easy ride.


Ah no, thats the whole ball game and the series. Commiserations my friend.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

So, is that all square and one game to go? That's so much better than an easy ride.

Ah no, thats the whole ball game and the series. Commiserations my friend.

That's right, they lost the whole kit and caboddle in game 7.
The series was squared up at game six with the Rangers loss (you could say they lost game six 3 times!)

"Messala: Mistrust of good success hath done this deed.
O hateful error, melancholy's child'
Why dost thou show to the apt thoughts of men
the things that are not? O error, soon conceiv'd,
Thou never com'st unto happy birth,
but kill'st the mother that engender'd thee!"


...I asked my wife ago whether I should shave it off. She said no, as I have no chin...

I am lucky.I get a week off, but it's the half term holiday of term 1 - Autumn term here. 7 weeks to xmas hols now.

I suffer a similar malady along with a large forehead. The wife refers to it as the "Hillary Step"

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSyQuviaAzRzEB31mE4rPk24UeTZB8uy gvDJ6YWFRvMz9GA-_Eblw

.

[prendrelemick]

The dangers of following the Rangers
Cannot be known by strangers.
Your hair you'll pull out
At the Umpire's shout
You'll boo and you'll hiss
At a swing and a miss
you'll shout and cheer
And drink too much beer
And your hopes, they be fecund
Then you finish second.

Tis the basest of ball
That has you in thrall.
A game that so confounds us,
I think I'll stick to Rounders.

[jocky]

Gilliatt, a little something to go with Mick's poem:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6103/6298476008_7dfccfde8c_o.jpg

Und eine kleine nachtmusik to help ease your suffering :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U078jX6Z6fo

We Scots know the pain of defeat. Not to worry there is always next season.

[Abookinthebath]

Is Tom Hicks still the owner of the Rangers?

[jocky]

Is Tom Hicks still the owner of the Rangers?

Yes he is.

[Paulclem]

I suffer a similar malady along with a large forehead. The wife refers to it as the "Hillary Step"

:lol:
Our wives would get on.

With all the talent about, we should do an Anthology of Cold Ale Wit and Wisdom.

We could dust off a few anecdotes I'll bet.

Or, reading Gilliat's comment, and remembering the trials of Jocky, we could call it:

The Blokes' Lament.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

The dangers of following the Rangers
Cannot be known by strangers.
Your hair you'll pull out
At the Umpire's shout
You'll boo and you'll hiss
At a swing and a miss
you'll shout and cheer
And drink too much beer
And your hopes, they be fecund
Then you finish second.

Tis the basest of ball
That has you in thrall.
A game that so confounds us,
I think I'll stick to Rounders.

Magnificent!
You know, Christmas is not too far off and the recent surge of poetry(?) has givin me the Christmas Play itch.
I went back through some of my notes trying to determine if a theme has been established for this year. We are somewhere in the realm of Teste tape, Allotments, sheds, burning or back masking Led Zeppelin albums, gnomes, Captain Beefheart, etc., etc.


Gilliatt, a little something to go with Mick's poem:

Und eine kleine nachtmusik to help ease your suffering :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U078jX6Z6fo

We Scots know the pain of defeat. Not to worry there is always next season.

Thank you Jocky, your elixir cured me. I'm am ready to move on to the Dallas Cowboys...never mind, they lost 34 to 7.



Is Tom Hicks still the owner of the Rangers?

Wasn't he trying to buy a football team somewhere across the Atlantic?


[COLOR="DarkRed"]
Our wives would get on.

With all the talent about, we should do an Anthology of Cold Ale Wit and Wisdom.

We could dust off a few anecdotes I'll bet.

Or, reading Gilliat's comment, and remembering the trials of Jocky, we could call it:

The Blokes' Lament.

Great idea Paul. We certainly have accumulated a wealth of material.

.

[Abookinthebath]

Mr Hicks did indeed 'buy' a team (or should that be a 'sports franchise') across the Atlantic. Lets just say he suits his cowboy hat.....

[jocky]

A poor excuse of a Shakespearian sonnet for the xmas play.

Ahem! :

The wind doth blast up in the north
where yon Scot sits all of a quiver.
The Yuletide play draws quickly forth
shouldst he throw himself into the river.
Quills are sharp and the wits are keen
forsooth he must anon hie hence
O'er the festive days he must not be seen
and must o'erleap the snow clad fence.
The wits do gnaw and worry at his bones
and yon sands of time they do ship faster
Winter storms doth drowneth out his groans
of his own self he is no longer master.

Alas poor Jocky accepts his sure fate
to end up like Feste outside the gate.

[prendrelemick]

Merry Christmas Jocky:biggrin5:

[LostPrincess13]

Enjoy the boo-ooze gentlemen! Happy Halloween! :D

[soundofmusic]

Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed:leaving:

[jocky]

Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed:leaving:

It goes without saying, welcome back Soundo. :banana:

[Paulclem]

Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed:leaving:

Of course you were missed. We were all concerned. :biggrin5:

You're just in time to see the germination of the Blokes Xmas anthology which has been startedalready by the looks of things.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Enjoy the boo-ooze gentlemen! Happy Halloween! :D


Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed:leaving:

Welcome back...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYFwkpNQbxU



Is Tom Hicks still the owner of the Rangers?

Were you given a proper welcome?
Parker will fix you up with something to ease your pain.



A poor excuse of a Shakespearian sonnet for the xmas play.

Ahem! :

The wind doth blast up in the north
where yon Scot sits all of a quiver.
The Yuletide play draws quickly forth
shouldst he throw himself into the river.
Quills are sharp and the wits are keen
forsooth he must anon hie hence
O'er the festive days he must not be seen
and must o'erleap the snow clad fence.
The wits do gnaw and worry at his bones
and yon sands of time they do ship faster
Winter storms doth drowneth out his groans
of his own self he is no longer master.

Alas poor Jocky accepts his sure fate
to end up like Feste outside the gate.

I'm speechless. That's brilliant. That overrated bard from Tuscany couldn't hold a candle up to you.

Here's what we have so far leading up to Jocky's gem above:

Yes there are two sheds you can go buy
But in the long run
It still pays to get a third one on …PC

------

Thieving dogs
Prince Charles' Jack Russels
Satanic Sheds - Led Zeppellin's original name
A case of Highland envy - shedwise
An annoying neighbour
Mystical levitating albums
A proposal for this year's Blokes Thread Play
Sounds drinking habits/ potato cheese dishes/ the trouble with chianti/ a welcome/ a request for an illicit substance's recipe/ the Miami demographic/ careers advice
Testicle Tape - Ill never forget
A telling off/ un-PC ness/ a realisation
Specualtion about a relocation/ praise for the qualities of wives
A tip for using Testicle tape...PC
------
If you can't sleep, you can try,
The curmudgeon's lullaby,
Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
Soon golden slumbers close your eye.

And golden dreams can then begin,
Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
And Parker comes and tucks you in,
And wipes the gin from off your chin,… P

----

There was a farmer who drank horlicks
who kept measuring his prized rams b......s
Till his missus said to he
you are not seeing to me
but Old Seth the farm hand makes me rollicks. Boom Boom… J

-----

Is that old Brummie weather-lore?

When gulls do croi above the green,
A frost will next be seen.

When they return unto the cowst,
Cast your clout or yow will rowst….P

-------

The dangers of following the Rangers
Cannot be known by strangers.
Your hair you'll pull out
At the Umpire's shout
You'll boo and you'll hiss
At a swing and a miss
you'll shout and cheer
And drink too much beer
And your hopes, they be fecund
Then you finish second.

Tis the basest of ball
That has you in thrall.
A game that so confounds us,
I think I'll stick to Rounders. ……….P

----

[prendrelemick]

Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed:leaving:


And you are...?


Only kidding, we've missed your wit, your insight, and your fragrant presence.


Welcome back...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYFwkpNQbxU




Were you given a proper welcome?
Parker will fix you up with something to ease your pain.




I'm speechless. That's brilliant. That overrated bard from Tuscany couldn't hold a candle up to you.

Here's what we have so far leading up to Jocky's gem above:

Yes there are two sheds you can go buy
But in the long run
It still pays to get a third one on …PC

------

Thieving dogs
Prince Charles' Jack Russels
Satanic Sheds - Led Zeppellin's original name
A case of Highland envy - shedwise
An annoying neighbour
Mystical levitating albums
A proposal for this year's Blokes Thread Play
Sounds drinking habits/ potato cheese dishes/ the trouble with chianti/ a welcome/ a request for an illicit substance's recipe/ the Miami demographic/ careers advice
Testicle Tape - Ill never forget
A telling off/ un-PC ness/ a realisation
Specualtion about a relocation/ praise for the qualities of wives
A tip for using Testicle tape...PC
------
If you can't sleep, you can try,
The curmudgeon's lullaby,
Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
Soon golden slumbers close your eye.

And golden dreams can then begin,
Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
And Parker comes and tucks you in,
And wipes the gin from off your chin,… P

----

There was a farmer who drank horlicks
who kept measuring his prized rams b......s
Till his missus said to he
you are not seeing to me
but Old Seth the farm hand makes me rollicks. Boom Boom… J

-----

Is that old Brummie weather-lore?

When gulls do croi above the green,
A frost will next be seen.

When they return unto the cowst,
Cast your clout or yow will rowst….P

-------

The dangers of following the Rangers
Cannot be known by strangers.
Your hair you'll pull out
At the Umpire's shout
You'll boo and you'll hiss
At a swing and a miss
you'll shout and cheer
And drink too much beer
And your hopes, they be fecund
Then you finish second.

Tis the basest of ball
That has you in thrall.
A game that so confounds us,
I think I'll stick to Rounders. ……….P

----


Hmm.. please feel free to to cut, edit or generally improve anything of mine in there.

[jocky]

Were you given a proper welcome?
Parker will fix you up with something to ease your pain.






----

Welcome aboard Abookinthebath, we can't keep calling you that , I will end up with repetitive strain syndrome on my typing finger. A word of friendly advice, when you enter the Cold Ale Lounge keep your paws off the Doritos and the bottle of Glenmorangie on the shelf next to the dartboard, they are mine.

Gilliatt once you have touched up Mick's parts we are on our way to Broadway, or should that be Broadmoor ? :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1ZYhVpdXbQ

[Abookinthebath]

Welcome aboard Abookinthebath, we can't keep calling you that , I will end up with repetitive strain syndrome on my typing finger. A word of friendly advice, when you enter the Cold Ale Lounge keep your paws off the Doritos and the bottle of Glenmorangie on the shelf next to the dartboard, they are mine.



Cheers Jocky. Bath will do, should avoid the RSI! Yes, I will give the whisky a wide berth (well, until all the beer is gone, in any case!).

[Big Dante]

Cheers Jocky. Bath will do, should avoid the RSI! Yes, I will give the whisky a wide berth (well, until all the beer is gone, in any case!).

Need to spice things up a bit. Bath may not cut it. Possibly The Bath Lord? Or the common add a 'y' rule when making a nickname. Bathy.

[MarkBastable]

'Tub'? Or, better yet, 'Tubbs'?

[prendrelemick]

Or initally, A bit B

[RobinHood3000]

Still don't drink, but I'll raise a glass of cranberry juice to everyone anyways. =)

[Big Dante]

'Tub'? Or, better yet, 'Tubbs'?

Tubbs it is.

[prendrelemick]

Still don't drink, but I'll raise a glass of cranberry juice to everyone anyways. =)



Splutter!! What next? Smoothies in the snug!

Parker has gone for a lie down.

[Abookinthebath]

Tubbs it is.


I kinda like it! Although it does give me images of 'The league of gentlemen' TV series.....

[prendrelemick]

Wasn't there a Tubbs on Miami Vice? He was cool wasn't he?

[Abookinthebath]

I think so, but it was a bit before my time! I don't think the parents would let me stay up and watch it!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I kinda like it! Although it does give me images of 'The league of gentlemen' TV series.....

"Tubbs"; a splendid nickname.

Here's another by your namesake:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT0xZgjLyVg&feature=related

In case "Charmin" didn't make it's way across the Atlantic water closet...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFIYOIuZtcw&feature=related


.

[jocky]

"Tubbs"; a splendid nickname.

Here's another by your namesake:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT0xZgjLyVg&feature=related

In case "Charmin" didn't make it's way across the Atlantic water closet...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFIYOIuZtcw&feature=related


.

Your on a roll Gilliatt.

[prendrelemick]

Just a notice that I shall be selling poppies in the lounge - all proceeds to those downtrodden victims of tyranny - the England Football Team.

[Big Dante]

Just a notice that I shall be selling poppies in the lounge - all proceeds to those downtrodden victims of tyranny - the England Football Team.

I think some of that money also needs to go to the Australian cricket team.... :blush2:

[prendrelemick]

I'm sure the England Rugby League team will display all their traditional charitable impulses towards the Aussies next week in the world cup final.

Meanwhile its tupping time again here at Cold Comfort farm. The boys have started strongly, but Old Faithfull twisted his back leg (probably while attempting some exotic sheepish position.) The new tup is a bit of a bad boy and tends to attack me when my back is turned. He's become a firm favourite with mrs P - I wonder why.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I cherish the Tupping Time updates from Cold Comfort Farm.
Please keep us posted.

.