Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[MarkBastable]

You were doing great untill you mentioned the friendly face. We men have a stereotype to live up to you know.

What's its max talk...or tourque.. or how many kilometers to the mile do you get and other manly things?

Well, the family car is my wife's really - it's black and big and apparently German. I've never driven it - just paid for it. My own previous car was written off by a teenager who ran into it in the snow just before Christmas.

"Dad, someone just crashed into the tree outside! Or maybe your car! It made a big noise!"

That one was my midlife crisis car - an Alfa Romeo 166. I'm past that now, but I still like Alfas, all of which have friendly faces - and that's about all I care about in a car.

So I got a Mito (http://www.carztune.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/alfa-romeo-mito-riar-limited-edition.jpg). It has a go-faster button - which apparently ups the torque, whatever the hell that is. I'm not very interested in speed, but I do enjoy acceleration. I tend to go 'wheeeeeeeeeee!' like a girlie. The lights on the dashboard are all red and they glow like a goth computer game. The sound system can play music from my phone without it even being plugged into anything. It's a little car, but comfortable even though I'm 6'4.

[DocHeart]

how many kilometers to the mile do you get



:lol:

[jocky]

In a way you are fortunate to have a life worth splashing jocky. Ms. Brooks was very disappointed with my intimate text conversations with Mrs P :-

16.30: wots 4 T

16.32: dunno

16.36: ok c u L8r.


Needles to say the Paps have been recalled.

Hmmm! This is a wondrous strange transformation to a prosaic lifestyle. You know very well that if your ram's testicles story ever got leaked into the public domain our beloved Cold Ale Thread would be, to paraphrase JFK ' shredded and scattered to the four winds'.

[The Atheist]

This is not the sort of thing that I usually talk about, but I felt left out of the thread, and I reckon that this is the kind of news that a real man would mention.

It's black and it has a friendly face.

Well, it would be.

Unless you'd bought one of those girly little cars...


You were doing great untill you mentioned the friendly face. We men have a stereotype to live up to you know.

What's its max talk...or tourque.. or how many kilometers to the mile do you get and other manly things?

Yeah, that stuff!


So I got a Mito (http://www.carztune.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/alfa-romeo-mito-riar-limited-edition.jpg). It has a go-faster button - which apparently ....

makes it go faster than buses?

Yeah, one of those "cars".

:D

This is a car:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/falcon.jpg
(not mine, but identical although my windows are tinted black as well to match the black paint and leather)

Here are the specifications. (http://carinfo.autold.com/car-ford_falcon-xr6.html)

This is how quickly it does 0-100 kph:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pujOs8UykAs

6 and a bit seconds.

Not quite as good on the acceleration as a jet aircraft, but it certainly hits you hard in the back under full throttle, which alas, I can't use very often thanks to those killjoy traffic cops.

Top speed of 210 kmh, but I've only had it up to 200 kmh once. NZ roads are only ever straight for about 800m and it doesn't take long to find a corner at that speed!

[MarkBastable]

6 and a bit seconds.!


The Mito gets to 100kph in just over seven seconds, apparently. And it has a top speed of 205kph. Which is quite fast enough for me - or would be, if it were legal in the UK.

[Paulclem]

Lots of crashes in the Tour today, with one of the top contenders going to hospital. Looked very dazed.

Cavendish is back on form with a first win.

The more I watch the Tour and see how quick they go, the slower I seem to be traipsing about the town.:lol:

Mind you, you seem to have to be a funny shape to be good at cycling. I'm bandy legged already without further disfigurement.

[The Atheist]

The Mito gets to 100kph in just over seven seconds, apparently. And it has a top speed of 205kph. Which is quite fast enough for me - or would be, if it were legal in the UK.

Christ, I imagine it would be a bit floaty at that speed on such a light car.

[MarkBastable]

Christ, I imagine it would be a bit floaty at that speed on such a light car.

I have no idea what that means, but it sounds quite fun.

[The Atheist]

I have no idea what that means, but it sounds quite fun.

I can assure you it isn't!

No matter how good your car is, air is going to get underneath it, and the faster you go, the more air you get doing it. Eventually, that air lifts the car and you reach a point where the front wheels lose contact and you lose steering.

Since this only happens at quite high speeds, it tends to more terrifying than exciting, although you can soon fix it by touching the brakes. When it's windy as well, you can get shifted quite a distance before you get to the brake pedal.

Light cars tend to do that more easily than heavy ones, for obvious reasons!

[MystyrMystyry]

I caught a programme recently concerning Lotus and a discovery enabling better traction. Under a conventional car there are loads of bumps and indents which somehow serve to 'hook' the rushing air. Lotus decided to cover these crannies and nooks with sheet metal - something that had been considered before to be simply a bad idea - but the result was better than all the spoilers, aerofoils ever devised. Works like an upsidedown wing. And the faster you go the more grip you get.

Here's a photo of the MystyryMobile

http://i1134.photobucket.com/albums/m605/mystyrmystyry/MystyryMobile.jpg

Top speed: Very Fast Indeed

[prendrelemick]

Great cars chaps.

I'm going to let the CAC down now, I drive one of these.


http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/42111-Britains-Land-Rover-Defender-90-hard-top.jpg

I don't think aerodynamics are a factor here, It will never get floaty, I doubt it will ever get to 100kph.

[prendrelemick]

Lots of crashes in the Tour today, with one of the top contenders going to hospital. Looked very dazed.

Cavendish is back on form with a first win.

The more I watch the Tour and see how quick they go, the slower I seem to be traipsing about the town.:lol:

Mind you, you seem to have to be a funny shape to be good at cycling. I'm bandy legged already without further disfigurement.



As well as being physically odd, I reckon you need to be a headcase as well.
When the tour of Britain passed through here the police moterbike riders who were supposed to be infront could not go fast enough on one notorious twisty downhill stretch and were overtaken by the cyclists.

[soundofmusic]

I have to confess to showing off down at the allotment by carrying two bags of compost on my shoulder up to my plot. The guys were joshing me and said I bet you can't run. I said I can and jogged up to my plot with them. The upshot was that I strained the ligament on the outside of my ankle. It wasn't too bad though, but worsened after I had to go chasing after the dog - who was running after a van up onto a busy road. I did curse. Mrs Paulclem is eagerly awaiting our next visit in order to relate my misfortune to the guys at the Allotment shop. Joshings are coming. :lol:

By the way - the Potcheen, (Mick put me right there), is a potato based spirit brewed by the Irish. I've tasted some from a former landlord. Suffice to say, you don't get to drink it; you just absorb it through your mouth.

:nopity: Well, at least you got your licks in a manly way, how is the ankle now. I just took a terrible tumble yesterday. My little 73 year old neighbor asks me for some help every day, yesterday I was rushed and trying to get away, talking to him in one direction and walking in another, hit something on the cement sidewalk, couldn't break my fall and belly flopped hitting my forehead and tearing all the skin off my nose. I felt a bit dizzy and today my eyes look a bit closer together. Everyone is looking at me as if I'm an abused woman or an alcoholic.:(


My bedside manner would have ruined it.



:smilielol5:

The karma of hubris.

Really, I spoke with Mrs Atheist, she said you have a wonderful bedside manner which even improves once you're in bed.
:thumbsup:


In for breakfast this morning, and found Mrs P grinning mischievously waving aloft a 2 ft long tape. "Look" she said, "you've been sent a testicle tape." She began to read the instructions, "Measure widest circumference of testicles-" The tape was colour coded, red amber and green, to get in the green zone one would've required testicles 34 to 50 cm in circumference. I began to feel inadequate. She read on "- feel to check tone,-" No problem there, I am a bloke after all and do so several times a day, "- ensure there are no lumps.-" I was about to check again when she read the last part. "- Consult vet for thorough check."

"Ha ha very funny" I replied as she removed her thumb from the "Mature Ram testicle tape" label.

:thumbsup::lol: Your lady is brillant! I have always wondered why people value testicles so, I think they just get in the way and drag down the treasure chest...I've rather noticed, in my hospital adventures, that the testicles elongate as the other genitalia shrinks...


Sorry -- have I just been told off for being politically incorrect in the Bloke's Thread? I do apologize. I have total respect for women and their personalities and all that jazz. Parker, another of what the lady is having, if you please.

DH

P.S. Oh, I almost forgot, here's a list of malicious nouns, adjectives and transcendental modifiers (?) that men often maliciously use to refer to women:

chick
broad
tomato
Her indoors
my old woman
the wee wifie
She Who Shall Never Parallel-park


P.P.S. You know I love you, right? ;)




Actually I just re-read the whole thing and it doesn't look like I was told off, after all. I just misunderstood the first time and rushed to answer. Damn. And it was the funniest thing I've written in weeks.

Good health to all. :)

Oh, my, no. I'm afraid I would never even notice if you were politically incorrect, just think of me as a bloke with breasts...ummm...:lol:
I don't know...how do you suggest doc heart regard me fellows :lol:

I can sort of parallel park; but I've never quite got the 3 point turn....


You are a dark one, you never once mentioned you had relocated to Scotland. :)



:lol::lol:

What would we do without our wives ?

Really, I've got to come visit you and Mrs J then.


Everyone around here (Texas) is running a 100F + fever, due to the fact that it is 100+ outside! As the saying goes; "It's hotter than hell's half acre"
Hope the kids get well soon.


Oh, by the way Jocky, I believe I saw Turncoat and Bartok heading west to Roswell. I figur they plan to take part in the upcoming July 8th celebrations.

.

I've been glued to the tube down here, all the rage on Casey Anthony down here. Is anyone talking about it in Texas?


Well, the family car is my wife's really - it's black and big and apparently German. I've never driven it - just paid for it. My own previous car was written off by a teenager who ran into it in the snow just before Christmas.

"Dad, someone just crashed into the tree outside! Or maybe your car! It made a big noise!"

That one was my midlife crisis car - an Alfa Romeo 166. I'm past that now, but I still like Alfas, all of which have friendly faces - and that's about all I care about in a car.

So I got a Mito (http://www.carztune.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/alfa-romeo-mito-riar-limited-edition.jpg). It has a go-faster button - which apparently ups the torque, whatever the hell that is. I'm not very interested in speed, but I do enjoy acceleration. I tend to go 'wheeeeeeeeeee!' like a girlie. The lights on the dashboard are all red and they glow like a goth computer game. The sound system can play music from my phone without it even being plugged into anything. It's a little car, but comfortable even though I'm 6'4.

Mark, good to see you and congrats. I saw some fellow in a neat black car last week testing his torque in the midst of traffic...it was beautiful, the car turned almost 360 degrees without sliding....:auto:


I caught a programme recently concerning Lotus and a discovery enabling better traction. Under a conventional car there are loads of bumps and indents which somehow serve to 'hook' the rushing air. Lotus decided to cover these crannies and nooks with sheet metal - something that had been considered before to be simply a bad idea - but the result was better than all the spoilers, aerofoils ever devised. Works like an upsidedown wing. And the faster you go the more grip you get.

Here's a photo of the MystyryMobile

http://i1134.photobucket.com/albums/m605/mystyrmystyry/MystyryMobile.jpg

Top speed: Very Fast Indeed

I want it....:drool5:

[prendrelemick]

:nopity:


I don't know...how do you suggest doc heart regard me fellows :lol:




5:

In the highest regards of course.

[MarkBastable]

I can assure you it isn't!

No matter how good your car is, air is going to get underneath it, and the faster you go, the more air you get doing it. Eventually, that air lifts the car and you reach a point where the front wheels lose contact and you lose steering.

Since this only happens at quite high speeds, it tends to more terrifying than exciting, although you can soon fix it by touching the brakes. When it's windy as well, you can get shifted quite a distance before you get to the brake pedal.

Light cars tend to do that more easily than heavy ones, for obvious reasons!

It's an Alfa, which means, as I understand it, that the conventional rules of physics don't apply.

[The Atheist]

I caught a programme recently concerning Lotus and a discovery enabling better traction. Under a conventional car there are loads of bumps and indents which somehow serve to 'hook' the rushing air. Lotus decided to cover these crannies and nooks with sheet metal - something that had been considered before to be simply a bad idea - but the result was better than all the spoilers, aerofoils ever devised. Works like an upsidedown wing. And the faster you go the more grip you get.

Top speed: Very Fast Indeed

That's so obvious I'm amazed nobody had ever thought about it. It would obviously make it stick like **** to a blanket.

I could get used to the front for the speed and handling.


Great cars chaps.

I'm going to let the CAC down now, I drive one of these.

I don't think aerodynamics are a factor here, It will never get floaty, I doubt it will ever get to 100kph.

No mate, that's a Real Bloke's car!

Those horror 4WD things that housewives drop their kids off to school from don't count, but a Landrover with mud underneath definitely qualifies.

Speed isn't everything.


It's an Alfa, which means, as I understand it, that the conventional rules of physics don't apply.

:lol:

[jocky]

I have got a Vespa 50 cc if anyone is interested.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I've been glued to the tube down here, all the rage on Casey Anthony down here. Is anyone talking about it in Texas?



It was getting quite a bit of play here as well. The missus was paying much more attention to the trial than I was. Not sure where you stand on the case, but my wife was very frustrated with the outcome.


I have got a Vespa 50 cc if anyone is interested.

Still riding the Vespa with the Hoover strapped to the bars.
That brings a tear of joy to my eye.

Here's a pic of my Ford Ranger, the smaller gray truck, in front of the El Comedor restaurant in Moriarty New Mexico along old Route 66; the greatest Huevos Rancheros west of the Pecos!

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Chaco%20Culture%20NHS%20and%20New%20Mexico/IMG_1431.jpg

.

[Vonny]

Jocky, I know you told me to stay away from this thread :lol: but I just noticed that you've made 666 posts! You had better hurry and post again!

Actually, what I really want to say is you gave me some really good advice a while back. Thanks, it's helped me a lot.

Okay, I'll stay off this thread in the future!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I just noticed that you've made 666 posts! You had better hurry and post again!

...Okay, I'll stay off this thread in the future!

Good catch on that 666, but why stay away?...come to think of it, your probably better off steering clear of this lot.

.

[Paulclem]

:nopity: Well, at least you got your licks in a manly way, how is the ankle now. I just took a terrible tumble yesterday. My little 73 year old neighbor asks me for some help every day, yesterday I was rushed and trying to get away, talking to him in one direction and walking in another, hit something on the cement sidewalk, couldn't break my fall and belly flopped hitting my forehead and tearing all the skin off my nose. I felt a bit dizzy and today my eyes look a bit closer together. Everyone is looking at me as if I'm an abused woman or an alcoholic.:(

:thumbsup::lol: Your lady is brillant! I have always wondered why people value testicles so, I think they just get in the way and drag down the treasure chest...I've rather noticed, in my hospital adventures, that the testicles elongate as the other genitalia shrinks...



It's ok but it seems to have left me with a stretchy tendon. It seems to get caught on something, if I move in a particular way, and then snaps back into place. An odd sensation.

Elongated testicles? I wonder if it will affect the cycling in time...

And, as Mick has said already, you should be regarded highly for putting up with us chaps.

By the way I ride.. sorry drive, a sleek black number...

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=932&pictureid=7249

[prendrelemick]

Liking the flag Paul.

I have a mental image of a Scotsman on a scooter at vespers

If you do pop in from time to time Vonny, make sure you check the doc's qualifications before he shows you his bedside manner.

Looks like your 1000th is about to come up as well Gilliatt.
How about a free bar to celebrate - Parker?..Parker.....PARKER. Where's he gone?

[Paulclem]

Liking the flag Paul.

I have a mental image of a Scotsman on a scooter at vespers

If you do pop in from time to time Vonny, make sure you check the doc's qualifications before he shows you his bedside manner.

Looks like your 1000th is about to come up as well Gilliatt.
How about a free bar to celebrate - Parker?..Parker.....PARKER. Where's he gone?

I had it on the back of the bike for the last world cup.

6 - now 5 to 3000. I have no friends...:lol:

[jocky]

Jocky, I know you told me to stay away from this thread :lol: but I just noticed that you've made 666 posts! You had better hurry and post again!

Actually, what I really want to say is you gave me some really good advice a while back. Thanks, it's helped me a lot.

Okay, I'll stay off this thread in the future!

Glad to be of assistance Vonny. Pop in and see us regularly we are not a bad bunch and every now and again someone says something sensible, not me I might add. :)

[Paulclem]

Here's a pic of my Ford Ranger, the smaller gray truck, in front of the El Comedor restaurant in Moriarty New Mexico along old Route 66; the greatest Huevos Rancheros west of the Pecos!

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Chaco%20Culture%20NHS%20and%20New%20Mexico/IMG_1431.jpg

.

Your picture reminded me of No Country for Old Men. We know the US countryside quite qwell through the images we have from films and stuff.

[Paulclem]

I've discovered a text to speech animation tool on Youtube, so I though I'd make a video about our thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI3xBB513Bg

It's pretty easy to use.

[jocky]

I've discovered a text to speech animation tool on Youtube, so I though I'd make a video about our thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI3xBB513Bg

It's pretty easy to use.

:lol::lol::lol:
I was just about to post a video but it pales into insignificance compared with that. I will see you down at the Curmudgeons later on.

[prendrelemick]

:smilielol5::smilielol5:That is brilliant Paul. But technology will never replace Gilliat.

[Paulclem]

Thanks chaps. I'll be in curmudgens. You're right - Gilliatt is irreplaceable.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I've discovered a text to speech animation tool on Youtube, so I though I'd make a video about our thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI3xBB513Bg

It's pretty easy to use.

My 1000 post, and I couldn't imagine a better place to spend it.

Paul, that is priceless !!
“…after all, at their age they’re not getting too much else”
We must have that displayed prominently on the bar wall of shame!

Well chaps, it is July 8th…


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c4/RoswellDailyRecordJuly8%2C1947.jpg



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQlpACCcq4Y



I spent the night on the roof searching the heavens for the annual return and all I got were mosquito bites and a couple of chemtrails.
Maybe next year.

In honor of Paul’s creativity, my 1000th post and extra-terrestrials, all drinks are on me for the duration of the weekend.


.

[MarkBastable]

Alright - enough petrolheadedness. That's probably the longest conversation about cars I've ever had.

Last Monday, the Yank and I went to the Preview Evening of the Hampton Court Flower Show (http://www.bbc.co.uk/hamptoncourt/features/2011/english-poet-gardens/loves-last-adieu-byron-yvonne-matthews.shtml). Say what you like about the monarchy - and I'm very ambivalent myself - but if it weren't for the avaricious unreasonableness of Henry VIII, we wouldn't have this (http://www.alexivatravel.co.uk/lg_images/Hampton_court_Tours%5B2%5D.jpg)to play with today.

The Preview Evening - in fact the whole week-long event - is an incredibly civilised and polite occasion, attendance at which undermines any subsequent claims one might make to still being working-class at heart. The Yank and I found a spot for our picnic blanket, dumped our wine and stuff on it in full view of the passing throng, and wandered off, confident that the bourgeois honesty rife at the show would ensure that it'd all still be there when we got back two hours later. Which it was.

The weather was putting on one of those balmy, golden evenings that contrives to make you feel that everything's really jolly pleasant in a way that only the English can manage, and that, gosh, isn't the BBC a good idea, and strawberries too, and also Pimm's and big fat sausages. This is a feeling that can carry you right through to the ill-organised and bad-tempered Destruction Derby which results from trying to get eight thousand cars out of a nine foot gate onto a main road, which, frankly, is a typical British screw-up, just like the smug bloody BBC, tasteless supermarket strawberries, poncey bloody Pimm's and God knows what goes into sausages, but whatever it is, it'll take you down before you hit fifty-five.

We bought a lot of dahlias. Buying dahlias is pretty much tantamount to wearing a t-shirt that reads, "At my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. And I'm not getting my leg over that often either." It's like designing your own wreath.

So, blokes - we've done pictures of our cars. Now let's do pictures of our flowers.

This week round at Bastable Towers, we're keen on this one...

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3097/2879694715_2cb25f87b8.jpg

[The Atheist]

Just when you think this is the best thread the entire internet has ever seen, it gets better!

More win than Manchester United.

[prendrelemick]

Gilliat I'm sure those aliens meant to put in an appearence, but got held up in a cosmological version of mark's 8000 cars through a 9 ft gate.

Talking of gardens, I have discovered a great new wheeze this year re mowing the lawn. In the past I,ve "accidently" let in a few sheep, but Mrs P will no longer put up with that as they rampage over her soft friuts as well.

So this year somewhere around the beginning of june, as I approached the foot high grass with a coughing lawnmower I had a brainwave, I just cut a few paths through this jungle, and created a maze for the Grandchildren ! I was done in minutes, and they love it. All I have to do is shove the mower round the paths once a week and job done. Proving that necessity isn't the mother of invention, indolence is.

[The Atheist]

Gilliat I'm sure those aliens meant to put in an appearence, but got held up in a cosmological version of mark's 8000 cars through a 9 ft gate.

Here's one that amazed the hell out of me the other day; I was playing around at Paddy Power, Bookmakers, looking for odds on US Republican nominee for 2012 when I saw odds for "Aliens"! I had to look.

This comes up:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/aliens.jpg

These are lifetime bets that die with you, but if you take a bet at age 18 and collect at age 90, the bet will stand if that's the day it is confirmed that alien life has made contact/been contacted.

To me, simple use of maths and physics dictates that the odds are short by a factor of millions. Not to mention, even interest at a lousy 6 or 7 % will compound to double your money in 7 years, so after the ~10 years of holding the bet, all US bets have already been paid for, and even the longer shots like Wales have been paid off by the time the bet ~25 years old.

The maths on this one tells me that a lot of people are taking it. And a big lot at that, especially given the compound interest angle.

Fascinating.


Talking of gardens, I have discovered a great new wheeze this year re mowing the lawn. In the past I,ve "accidently" let in a few sheep, but Mrs P will no longer put up with that as they rampage over her soft friuts as well.

So this year somewhere around the beginning of june, as I approached the foot high grass with a coughing lawnmower I had a brainwave, I just cut a few paths through this jungle, and created a maze for the Grandchildren ! I was done in minutes, and they love it. All I have to do is shove the mower round the paths once a week and job done. Proving that necessity isn't the mother of invention, indolence is.

That is true genius, mate.

Parker! Bring Mick the "A" drinks list, please. (Mick, do NOT let jocky* see the list!)




*or Sounds, for that matter - I've just seen some of the cocktails.

:biggrinjester:

[prendrelemick]

I'll have a" Little Green Man over Scotland" 25 parts Drambuie to one Creme de menthe.

[MarkBastable]

This flower thing ain't catching on, is it?

See, I knew I wasn't a real bloke.

[jocky]

The strangest thing happened tonight. I chanced to look out the kitchen window, just to see how my pansies were coming along, and lo and behold sillouheted on my shed roof by the huge yellow moon was none other than Turncoat and Bartok, staring intently at the stars. I rushed out with a big bone grasped in my hand and shaking my maize can only to be greeted with what I can only describe as a silent indifference. I returned to the house in a state of utter bewilderment and explained my experience to Mrs Jocky and was totally ignored in the same manner. The eighth of July may be more significant than some cynics might appreciate. Where is that bloody Parker with the " B " drinks list when you need him ?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...We bought a lot of dahlias. Buying dahlias is pretty much tantamount to wearing a t-shirt that reads, "At my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. And I'm not getting my leg over that often either." It's like designing your own wreath.

So, blokes - we've done pictures of our cars. Now let's do pictures of our flowers.

This week round at Bastable Towers, we're keen on this one...

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3097/2879694715_2cb25f87b8.jpg


This flower thing ain't catching on, is it?

See, I knew I wasn't a real bloke.


That is an amazing flower! It looks quite large.
Unfortunately I don't have much of a green thumb and besides, it would be nearly impossible to keep something that fragile alive in our scorching heat, so I must rely on hardy types such as cacti.
Here's a re posting of one of my cactus blooms:



http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/IMGP1670.jpg




,,,So this year somewhere around the beginning of june, as I approached the foot high grass with a coughing lawnmower I had a brainwave, I just cut a few paths through this jungle, and created a maze for the Grandchildren ! I was done in minutes, and they love it. All I have to do is shove the mower round the paths once a week and job done. Proving that necessity isn't the mother of invention, indolence is.


Brilliant idea. You could alter the pattern periodically so that any given part of the lawn never exceeds a foot and yet you never have to mow the entire lawn at one time!





http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/aliens.jpg



Ok, so much for July 1947. If that wasn't first contact, then I lay my bets on December 21st, 2012.

Edit Oh...and that would be Scotland.
.

[prendrelemick]

We bought a lot of dahlias. Buying dahlias is pretty much tantamount to wearing a t-shirt that reads, "At my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. And I'm not getting my leg over that often either." It's like designing your own wreath.

]

:smilielol5: Thats funny 'cos its true. It's the same as looking in the Damart catalogue and thinking "Mmm nice Cardigan."


Meanwhile our Garden is lacking flowers at this time of year, but this feverfew has poked its head above the confusion.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/DSC04280.jpg

[Emil Miller]

Someone has opened the Tell Me a Joke thread and as this is the only place where best ones can be safely told, I thought I would post this which I found rather amusing.

A man walks into a bar and orders a double whisky, the barman serves him and he drinks it and imediately and asks for another. The bar tender asks :

Are you alright sir ? You look upset.

No I’m not alright and I am upset.

What’s wrong then.

I met this bird on the train today and we went back to hers for some fun, we were just about to get to it when her husband got home so I jumped out of the window and held onto the ledge

That would ruin my day.

Thats not the worst of it, her husband saw she was naked took a piss out the of window on me and I hung there for three hours listening to them having sex.

That’s rough indeed.

That’s not the worst thing though, when he was done he threw the condom out of the window and it landed on my forehead, and as I looked down to get it off I realised I was only 6 inches off the ground.

[Paulclem]

I took pictures of our roses a couple of weeks ago, but the micro sd sticky in the computer thingy has gone walkies - probably into someone's computer.

Tour De France update - Wiggins the great Brit hope is out with a collarbone fracture, and cavendish took a second stage on the same day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWT8yeHGA0U

Spectacular crash today. They were lucky to get away with - thirty stitches! They both carried on, but Fletcher wasn't in too good a shape. The fence Hoogaland landed on was barbed wire - hence the stitches. Tough guys!

I laughed Emil.

[MarkBastable]

I'm fond of feverfew, even if it is often regarded as a weed.

Currently we're trying to revive one of these.....

http://www.buyarose.eu/uimg/82028d.la-reine-victoria1.jpg


It's a rather old-fashioned rose, which I like, and pink, which I don't - but the whole thing is just so Miss Haversham that I've been rather seduced by it. Also it smells fantastic.

[soundofmusic]

In the highest regards of course.

:blush5: Oh, you're so sweet, thanks.


It's an Alfa, which means, as I understand it, that the conventional rules of physics don't apply.

I'm so jealous, I have an 11 year old mitsubushi with a caroded hood:cryin:


That's so obvious I'm amazed nobody had ever thought about it. It would obviously make it stick like **** to a blanket.

I could get used to the front for the speed and handling.


No mate, that's a Real Bloke's car!

Those horror 4WD things that housewives drop their kids off to school from don't count, but a Landrover with mud underneath definitely qualifies.

Speed isn't everything.

:lol:

The problem with cars with speed is that they are really low, I just about got rug burned buns when I used to ride in my sisters corvette.:yikes:

I have got a Vespa 50 cc if anyone is interested.

I have to look that one up, it has to be better than my car though...


It was getting quite a bit of play here as well. The missus was paying much more attention to the trial than I was. Not sure where you stand on the case, but my wife was very frustrated with the outcome.



Still riding the Vespa with the Hoover strapped to the bars.
That brings a tear of joy to my eye.

Here's a pic of my Ford Ranger, the smaller gray truck, in front of the El Comedor restaurant in Moriarty New Mexico along old Route 66; the greatest Huevos Rancheros west of the Pecos!

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Chaco%20Culture%20NHS%20and%20New%20Mexico/IMG_1431.jpg

.

I'm with Mrs G, actually, I haven't heard one person who approves of the verdict.
Wow, it looks like you live in the old west; I'm coming out to see Gene Autry and John Wayne, and Wyatt Earp...ye..how...


It's ok but it seems to have left me with a stretchy tendon. It seems to get caught on something, if I move in a particular way, and then snaps back into place. An odd sensation.

Elongated testicles? I wonder if it will affect the cycling in time...

And, as Mick has said already, you should be regarded highly for putting up with us chaps.

By the way I ride.. sorry drive, a sleek black number...

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=932&pictureid=7249

I think the old fellws tie their man parts to the front handles in South Florida when they go bike riding:smilielol5: Like that ride of yours...and a gas saver too!
Thank you Paul, I think it's more that you fellows put up with me.

[prendrelemick]

I'm fond of feverfew, even if it is often regarded as a weed.

Currently we're trying to revive one of these.....

http://www.buyarose.eu/uimg/82028d.la-reine-victoria1.jpg


It's a rather old-fashioned rose, which I like, and pink, which I don't - but the whole thing is just so Miss Haversham that I've been rather seduced by it. Also it smells fantastic.


Looks like the roses My Mum used to have in her garden, I still remember the extravagant smell when they were slightly decaying. She used to make rose water out of them, explaining "it was something we did during the war"

[Paulclem]

:

I think the old fellws tie their man parts to the front handles in South Florida when they go bike riding:smilielol5: Like that ride of yours...and a gas saver too!
Thank you Paul, I think it's more that you fellows put up with me.

It's to be hoped they don't come off..............of the bike I mean. I'd better rephrase...It's to be hoped they don't fall off and give themselves a nasty pull.........no it's not working. The hole I'm digging is getting bigger...

[The Atheist]

I see jocky's been showing his philanthropic side:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14152092

[jocky]

I see jocky's been showing his philanthropic side:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14152092

Have we done with the flower thing, apart from Mark's groovy Andrew Marvel reference it died a thoroughly deserved death. Don't get me started on Jane Austen you know it is not good for my blood pressure, when it comes to her I can turn misanthropic in an instant. Imagine her sitting in your garden under the shade of the connifer tree privately sniggering because you poured the tea incorrectly. Thank God her unfinished novel remained unfinished as the literary critics would have agonised over the verbiage forever. Now I am retiring upstairs to read my DC Action Comic from 1938 which was well worth the $1.5, and it has pictures. :)

[The Atheist]

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/funny.gif

I thought that might drag you out of the woodwork!


Don't get me started on Jane Austen you know it is not good for my blood pressure, when it comes to her I can turn misanthropic in an instant. Imagine her sitting in your garden under the shade of the connifer tree privately sniggering because you poured the tea incorrectly. Thank God her unfinished novel remained unfinished as the literary critics would have agonised over the verbiage forever. Now I am retiring upstairs to read my DC Action Comic from 1938 which was well worth the $1.5, and it has pictures. :)

I'm with you - I'd certainly rather read comics than Jane A, but preferably Commando comics!

:D

[soundofmusic]

I've discovered a text to speech animation tool on Youtube, so I though I'd make a video about our thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI3xBB513Bg

It's pretty easy to use.

Brilliant, Paul, I went over and subscribed...


:lol::lol::lol:
I was just about to post a video but it pales into insignificance compared with that. I will see you down at the Curmudgeons later on.

Well you know no one but you could do a video on bagpipe playing...maybe you'll even do a lovely dance with mrs J on the table!


:smilielol5::smilielol5:That is brilliant Paul. But technology will never replace Gilliat.

Did you post that cacti, it was gorgeous.


My 1000 post, and I couldn't imagine a better place to spend it.

Paul, that is priceless !!
“…after all, at their age they’re not getting too much else”
We must have that displayed prominently on the bar wall of shame!

Well chaps, it is July 8th…


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c4/RoswellDailyRecordJuly8%2C1947.jpg



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQlpACCcq4Y



I spent the night on the roof searching the heavens for the annual return and all I got were mosquito bites and a couple of chemtrails.
Maybe next year.

In honor of Paul’s creativity, my 1000th post and extra-terrestrials, all drinks are on me for the duration of the weekend.


.

I heard it was the Southern Comfort that killed those little green men...


Alright - enough petrolheadedness. That's probably the longest conversation about cars I've ever had.

Last Monday, the Yank and I went to the Preview Evening of the Hampton Court Flower Show (http://www.bbc.co.uk/hamptoncourt/features/2011/english-poet-gardens/loves-last-adieu-byron-yvonne-matthews.shtml). Say what you like about the monarchy - and I'm very ambivalent myself - but if it weren't for the avaricious unreasonableness of Henry VIII, we wouldn't have this (http://www.alexivatravel.co.uk/lg_images/Hampton_court_Tours%5B2%5D.jpg)to play with today.

The Preview Evening - in fact the whole week-long event - is an incredibly civilised and polite occasion, attendance at which undermines any subsequent claims one might make to still being working-class at heart. The Yank and I found a spot for our picnic blanket, dumped our wine and stuff on it in full view of the passing throng, and wandered off, confident that the bourgeois honesty rife at the show would ensure that it'd all still be there when we got back two hours later. Which it was.

The weather was putting on one of those balmy, golden evenings that contrives to make you feel that everything's really jolly pleasant in a way that only the English can manage, and that, gosh, isn't the BBC a good idea, and strawberries too, and also Pimm's and big fat sausages. This is a feeling that can carry you right through to the ill-organised and bad-tempered Destruction Derby which results from trying to get eight thousand cars out of a nine foot gate onto a main road, which, frankly, is a typical British screw-up, just like the smug bloody BBC, tasteless supermarket strawberries, poncey bloody Pimm's and God knows what goes into sausages, but whatever it is, it'll take you down before you hit fifty-five.

We bought a lot of dahlias. Buying dahlias is pretty much tantamount to wearing a t-shirt that reads, "At my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. And I'm not getting my leg over that often either." It's like designing your own wreath.

So, blokes - we've done pictures of our cars. Now let's do pictures of our flowers.

This week round at Bastable Towers, we're keen on this one...

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3097/2879694715_2cb25f87b8.jpg

I'm more of a rose person myself, I was particularly fond of a rather fuzzy burgundy colored rose I was growing called "The Don Juan Rose". Some nasty black mold started attacking his petals though.


Just when you think this is the best thread the entire internet has ever seen, it gets better!

More win than Manchester United.

Hats off to the bloke who started it...what was his name again?

Gilliat I'm sure those aliens meant to put in an appearence, but got held up in a cosmological version of mark's 8000 cars through a 9 ft gate.

Talking of gardens, I have discovered a great new wheeze this year re mowing the lawn. In the past I,ve "accidently" let in a few sheep, but Mrs P will no longer put up with that as they rampage over her soft friuts as well.

So this year somewhere around the beginning of june, as I approached the foot high grass with a coughing lawnmower I had a brainwave, I just cut a few paths through this jungle, and created a maze for the Grandchildren ! I was done in minutes, and they love it. All I have to do is shove the mower round the paths once a week and job done. Proving that necessity isn't the mother of invention, indolence is.

Oh god, yes, we have some wonderful night blooming jasmine that are thankfully covering the bits of chipping paint at the bottom, they smell divine and have such lovely waxy dark green leaves and little white blooms; but I itch all over when I get anywhere near them.


I'll have a" Little Green Man over Scotland" 25 parts Drambuie to one Creme de menthe.

What do you suggest for a blond, blue eyed, 30 year old chap in south florida...preferably, in sounds bedroom haha


:smilielol5: Thats funny 'cos its true. It's the same as looking in the Damart catalogue and thinking "Mmm nice Cardigan."


Meanwhile our Garden is lacking flowers at this time of year, but this feverfew has poked its head above the confusion.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/DSC04280.jpg

They grow wild in my yard, they can be very pretty; but the bees love them.

[The Atheist]

You've just encouraged me to go floral again!

NZ's flora and fauna are both unique, due to our desire to break off from the rest of the planet early on.

We have the most amazing diversity of plants, and the entire country was more or less dense foliage until man arrived only a few centuries ago, but very few of the plants are the flowering kind.

Lots of shades of green, but natural floral shows here are few and far between.

When I was a lot younger, I used to spend hours making sure our garden was both a riot of colour and a fridge full of vegetables.]

Ah, the misspent hours of youth.

:D

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Been away from the saloon for too long, but I see you boys and gal are keeping the stools warm.

Thanks to whoever posted the Fast Johnny painter clip a few pages back. My son has been cycling through the videos on that and getting a good laugh.

The Feverfew is beautiful, would love to have some of that growing around here.

Paul, what's the latest on the Tour? or is it finished? Shows you how out of touch I've been lately.
What am I saying?...I've been out of touch most of my life!



You've just encouraged me to go floral again!

NZ's flora and fauna are both unique, due to our desire to break off from the rest of the planet early on.

We have the most amazing diversity of plants, and the entire country was more or less dense foliage until man arrived only a few centuries ago, but very few of the plants are the flowering kind....


Maybe we can see some of that flora?

.

[jocky]

Since there appears to be a form of faunaticism taking root I might as well join in;

There was a young lady from Croatia
who planted all types of Herbacea
They grew gigantically vast
and spread blindingly fast
In no time they had invaded Dalmatia.

[The Atheist]

Been away from the saloon for too long, but I see you boys and gal are keeping the stools warm....

Maybe we can see some of that flora?

.

I'm not sure making comments about warm stools is a good thing around here, but I'll search out some photos of the scenery by all means!



Since there appears to be a form of faunaticism taking root I might as well join in....

That is brilliant!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I'm not sure making comments about warm stools is a good thing around here...

Hehe. I figured it wouldn't take long for a Bloke to scoop that one up.

Speaking of roses:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO4wcNVbYOQ


.

[jocky]

Hehe. I figured it wouldn't take long for a Bloke to scoop that one up.

Speaking of roses:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO4wcNVbYOQ


.

You have been barrel scraping in that lab of yours again Gilliatt.

Now this is more like it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcBh9IgMz5U.

[prendrelemick]

Or this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=royW0LZspXs

[jocky]

And this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdmjbxMs7hg

[Paulclem]

Or this by these

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL4DSLd3KZU

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

And this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdmjbxMs7hg

Ahh, you beat me to it.

What have we started?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4n0y8vmAfM


.

[jocky]

Oh! So it is a flower free for all, in that case:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skU-jBFzXl0

[jocky]

Atheist it is becoming apparent our female side is coming through. Don't be surprised if there is a mass desertion to the Coffee Thread. I have made my feelings known to Mrs Jocky in no uncertain terms:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F47BUz5wJc

:)

[Paulclem]

What a video that was. Freddie's mouchtache made it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1hWoB18LwI

By the way Gilliatt, I've missed the last two nights on the Tour. Last night we were at my first voluntary Barn Dance. (We used to do barn dancing at primary school but it was in no way voluntary).

I say voluntary because I voluntarily went there. Mrs Paulclem made sure I was volunteered whenever possible to join in, which has a non-voluntary aspect, but a few shandies kept the dehydration at bay, and there was a nice cool rugby pitch outside to lie on if necessary.

Tonight I missed it because the family were watching the final of The Apprentice. It was 2 to 1, and anyway Mrs Paulclem vetoed my use of the control.

I'll have to catch up tomorrow.

[Paulclem]

... yeah barn dancing. I couldn't believe it either. Thing is we had a good night. I'm officially middle aged...

Roll on the next one.

[The Atheist]

Atheist it is becoming apparent our female side is coming through. Don't be surprised if there is a mass desertion to the Coffee Thread. I have made my feelings known to Mrs Jocky in no uncertain terms:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F47BUz5wJc

Ah, Freddie.

You know what? Of all of the dead rock stars, he's the one I miss the most. I've seen 'em all live at one time or another, but a night out with Queen and Freddie Mercury pretty much put all other live shows in permanent shade forever.

Coffee thread? Does that still exist?

Girls - no stanima.

:)


... yeah barn dancing. I couldn't believe it either. Thing is we had a good night. I'm officially middle aged...

Roll on the next one.

I remember barn dances.

Hay gets itchy.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... yeah barn dancing. I couldn't believe it either. Thing is we had a good night. I'm officially middle aged...

Roll on the next one.

You never cease to amaze me. I'd give my left boot to see how they do it in the West Midlands!
Was it something like this? (give it to 2:10 at least)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWma9QPDoDY&feature=related

Or possible this like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHLxsWaRw64&feature=related

Back to floratunes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir3gAak9LkY


Parker's gonna blow a gasket when he sees what we've done to this place.

.

[prendrelemick]

Ok I think we need to calm down and look at this.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/imagesCAZ1G9YA.jpghttp://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/steffi_graf5.jpg

[MarkBastable]

Who's that?

Whoever it is, I think that that's too abrupt a transition from flora to fauna, so here's a picture to get us there more smoothly.

http://i447.photobucket.com/albums/qq193/markbastable/autiful-red-heads-sexy-Nature-Flowers-flowers-Crimsons-Album-ruiva-girl-Kobiety-Roses-Flowers-pretty-girl-fantasy-labrujita-roses-Sexy-Redhe.jpg

[prendrelemick]

Ahh back on track.


That is the lovely Steffi Graff, I think you'll find her hanging on the wall behind the bar.

[jocky]

Sanity has been restored at last by farmer Mick and the man who started it all in the first place Mark Bastable.

If you look very closely at Steffi's breasts with the aid of a damn fine magnifying glass you will clearly see a minute imbalance between the left and right breast. It is well for a chap to notice these details.

[MarkBastable]

Ohhh, right. Steffi. I knew I knew her from somewhere. I've had her.

[prendrelemick]

In your dreams Bastable! (mine too)



http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/steffi_graf9.jpg


Jocky: Could be, but its all about the legs with Steffi.

[jocky]

In your dreams Bastable! (mine too)



http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/steffi_graf9.jpg


Jocky: Could be, but its all about the legs with Steffi.

You are right. I will just get my magnifying glass out again. I may be gone some time.

[MarkBastable]

You are right. I will just get my magnifying glass out again.

First time I've heard it called that. Is this an example of nicknaming by association?

[The Atheist]

That is the lovely Steffi Graff, I think you'll find her hanging on the wall behind the bar.

What a woman!

She is one of the reasons I hate Andre Agassi so much, Imagine a bloke who married her and Brooke Shields. Ok, she's crazy, but....

[jocky]

First time I've heard it called that. Is this an example of nicknaming by association?

I can see you are going to fit in here nae problem.

[MarkBastable]

Alright - I have another idea for a thread. Like the flowers thing, it has a slightly non-hairy-arsed element, but I think there's enough swinging dickery about it to be worth a shot.

So - women in representational art whom you would oblige.

Nudes are obviously allowed, but I'll start off with an ethereal floaty hippy one.

http://madameguillotine.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/jane-morris-blue-silk.jpg

The model for this was Jane Morris. She and the other great pre-Raphaelite muse - Lizzie Siddall - were both total knockouts, if the pictures they sat for - and contemporary accounts - are anything to go by. They certainly appeal to the adolescent bit of me that will forever regret having been born a bit too late for Woodstock and the Stones in Hyde Park.

And while I'm at it...

Heineken don't make late Victorian outdoor jacuzzis, but if they did, they'd probably be the best late Victorian outdoor jacuzzis in the world...

http://www.canvasreplicas.com/images/Hylas%20and%20the%20Nymphs%20John%20William%20Wate rhouse.jpg

[prendrelemick]

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/ohlala.jpg


A king's mistress posing as the Madonna. I have never seen a woman with breasts quite that far apart, very intriguing.

[jocky]

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/ohlala.jpg


A king's mistress posing as the Madonna. I have never seen a woman with breasts quite that far apart, very intriguing.

A certain Bishop used to take a great interest in a Madonna's breasts according to Browning:

"Bedded in store of rotten fig-leaves soft,
And corded up in a tight olive frail,
Some lump, ah God, of lapis lazuli
Big as a a Jew's head cut off at the nape,
Blue as a vein o'er the Madonna's breast..."

I wonder if the Bishop had a magnifying glass! Hmm!

[Paulclem]

...and what was a Bishop doing at a Madonna concert?...

[MarkBastable]

Well, they attracted a pretty militant secular crowd, those concerts, so it's possible the bishop was getting bashed.

[Paulclem]

Well, they attracted a pretty militant secular crowd, those concerts, so it's possible the bishop was getting bashed.

:lol:

A veritable Bishop's convention.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

In your dreams Bastable! (mine too)



http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/steffi_graf9.jpg




The new Colassus?
Imagine the bumper to bumper (bow to stern) traffic getting into Rhodes!


http://www.rhodesguide.com/rhodes/images/photo/colossus_rhodes.jpg



You are right. I will just get my magnifying glass out again. I may be gone some time.

By the way Jocky, that poem you slipped in a few pages back did not go unnoticed. It went into my bag of tricks.


Alright - I have another idea for a thread. Like the flowers thing, it has a slightly non-hairy-arsed element, but I think there's enough swinging dickery about it to be worth a shot.

So - women in representational art whom you would oblige.



At the moment I'm thinking something along these lines (The same thing Mr. Rosa was thinking):

http://www.1st-art-gallery.com/thumbnail/327364/1/Glaucus-And-Scylla.jpg


.

[jocky]

Class will out

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bigstimuli/2916036275/sizes/l/in/photostream/

[Paulclem]

Class will out

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bigstimuli/2916036275/sizes/l/in/photostream/


Was that the picture that was supposed to be in houses where there were fires? A cursed picture? Or perhaps it was so common that it was frequently found in houses that had fires.

Even I remember that painting as a kid. Maybe it was an urban myth - being the cause of fires, not me remembering...

Or maybe it's the wrong picture...what day is it today?....

[MarkBastable]

That's the best selling painting of all time, or something. Or possibly the second best, after the dogs playing pool.

As this entire fanciable-women-in-proper-art thing has been rendered a low-class joke by Brian 'jocky' Sewell over there, I shall be forced to seek out a Web page of that chick on a tennis court scratching her bum.

[The Atheist]

Or possibly the second best, after the dogs playing pool.

I have actually been in houses where that is framed and hanging on the wall.

[Paulclem]

I have actually been in houses where that is framed and hanging on the wall.

Me too. And my ex landlord left me the tennis girl scratching her bum in 1983.

[jocky]

That's the best selling painting of all time, or something. Or possibly the second best, after the dogs playing pool.

As this entire fanciable-women-in-proper-art thing has been rendered a low-class joke by Brian 'jocky' Sewell over there, I shall be forced to seek out a Web page of that chick on a tennis court scratching her bum.

Aye, no chance of that hanging in the rarified atmosphere of Bastable Hall. Sorry if I did not go into raptures over the Rosetti and am totally ignorant on the merits of the Pre Raphaelites and their antipathy toward Josh the Slosh.

My point being that art is judged by individuals regardless of social status and just because that paticular work hung in the homes of millions of people worldwide, much the same as Andy Warhol's creations, it has as much merit as anything that is hung in a few Town Halls and Art Galleries.

Right enough I am a dummy, enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBt0ER43trc

Now might be the time to post some paintings of women by Lucien Freud.

[jocky]

By the way Jocky, that poem you slipped in a few pages back did not go unnoticed. It went into my bag of tricks.




.

This reply should be read aloud in the slow drawl of John Wayne:

Well hell Gurgle I'm a figurin we otta settle this in the old way,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKThgLq21Rc

Anyone for a corn dodger ?

[jocky]

And if you think I am annoying you have obviously never met my late Uncle John:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgsPzydgzxE

He could spin a yarn :)

[MarkBastable]

Aye, no chance of that hanging in the rarified atmosphere of Bastable Hall. Sorry if I did not go into raptures over the Rosetti and am totally ignorant on the merits of the Pre Raphaelites and their antipathy toward Josh the Slosh.

My point being that art is judged by individuals regardless of social status and just because that paticular work hung in the homes of millions of people worldwide, much the same as Andy Warhol's creations, it has as much merit as anything that is hung in a few Town Halls and Art Galleries.

Right enough I am a dummy, enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBt0ER43trc

Now might be the time to post some paintings of women by Lucien Freud.

I rather like Freud's stuff - but the stuff at Bastable Halls isn't exclusively rarefied. From where I'm sitting I can see framed posters of this:

http://albumart.besteveralbums.com/albumart/album_medium_6254.jpg


and this

http://i2.listal.com/image/166474/936full-the-day-the-earth-stood-still-poster.jpg

and this

http://www.mikedidonato.com/wp-content/guernica5.PNG

(Also, a stuffed owl, a pewter Snoopy moneybox and a large plaster statue of Captain Hook.)

I disagree with you about merit by numbers though. I think there are completely objective qualities by which it's possible to say that the Picasso above is a better painting than the dogs playing pool. Which is not to say that people should like it more.

[prendrelemick]

Mmm.. Anyway back to the girl scratching her bum.

That poster was on the wall in many male student's bedroom in my student days.

The students of the fairer sex had that "Wings of Love" on theirs' depicting a miserable looking naked man being delivered on the underside of a swans wing to a naked girl sat on a damp floor. Very romantic.

In fact here it is.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/Steven-Pearson-Wings-of-Love-103120.jpg

I always thought that swan was about to give the poor bloke a "Bobbiting"

[prendrelemick]

Mark an' Gilliatt elevate the tone,
With pics of Jane and Perse-phone,

[The Atheist]

My point being that art is judged by individuals regardless of social status and just because that paticular work hung in the homes of millions of people worldwide, much the same as Andy Warhol's creations, it has as much merit as anything that is hung in a few Town Halls and Art Galleries.

And often, quite a lot more!

I wish more people knew that.

[DocHeart]

Parker, can you fix me a very mild one? And a glass of water, if you can, yes, I think I'll water it down a bit tonight, I'm driving. What are you staring at me like this, you daft lump, you still can't tell when I'm kidding? Get me a double, neat.

Guys, I wanna share something with you. This gave me the horn:

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63061

You think I should apologise to my shrink for deliberately burning a hole in his sofa with my cigarette and start having sessions with him again?

Cheers :)

[prendrelemick]

^Noooo, this is the kind of thing women talk about - to their own kind - I'll have one of those too please Parker!

[jocky]

That Doc, he does not pop in very often but he always leaves me feeling uneasy. I can just picture him standing at the bottom of my hospital bed:

"Jocky I have good news and bad news for you"

O.K Doc give me the bad news.

"You have only got two weeks to live"

Long silence , so what is the good news?.

"The guy in the bed opposite you wants to buy your slippers."

[jocky]

Guys and gal Jocky has got some breaking news which could have life changing repercussions. Scientists have announced without equivocation that the Hadron Collider may or may not have picked up elements of the God particle:

http://www.thepeninsulaqatar.com/international/159766-scientists-suspect-glimpse-of-higgs-boson.html

Remember you heard it in the Cold Ale Thread first. I can't wait to tell Mrs Jocky when she comes home from her work in the morning. :)

[Big Dante]

That Doc, he does not pop in very often but he always leaves me feeling uneasy. I can just picture him standing at the bottom of my hospital bed:

"Jocky I have good news and bad news for you"

O.K Doc give me the bad news.

"You have only got two weeks to live"

Long silence , so what is the good news?.

"The guy in the bed opposite you wants to buy your slippers."


Guys and gal Jocky has got some breaking news which could have life changing repercussions. Scientists have announced without equivocation that the Hadron Collider may or may not have picked up elements of the God particle:

http://www.thepeninsulaqatar.com/international/159766-scientists-suspect-glimpse-of-higgs-boson.html

Remember you heard it in the Cold Ale Thread first. I can't wait to tell Mrs Jocky when she comes home from her work in the morning. :)


How much for the slippers?
Wait no... How much for the God or possibly not God particle?

[prendrelemick]

I bet the God particle cost a bit more than the slippers.

[MarkBastable]

On his way back from a race meeting in the Scotland, a London bookie walks into a tiny, remote pub in the Highlands. There are a few old locals in there, a jolly fat lady at the bar and a scottie dog lying under a table.

The guy gets his pint, turns to the locals at the few tables and raises his glass. "Cheers."

"Aye, good health," they all murmur.

"Down the hatch," says the dog.

The bookie pauses. He looks at the dog. He takes another sip.

"Nice day," he says, to the general assembly.

"Aye, no' bad at all," a couple of the locals agree.

"Rain tomorrow, though," remarks the dog.

Again, the guy looks at the dog - and then at the locals.

"Did that dog just speak?" he asks.

The locals shrug. "Oh, aye. Ye cannae shut him up."

"Huh," the dog mutters.

The guy gets out his wallet. "Who owns the dog?"

A wizened old Highlander raises his hand. "That'll be me."

"I'll give you a hundred pounds for him."

"Whish! For tha' aul' dog? Put ye money awa', man."

"Two hundred."

"I cannae take yer money. Yer crazy! Sit yeself doon an' have a drink. Ferget it."

"Three hundred!"

Eventually the guy buys the dog for five hundred pounds.

"I cannae see what you like so much about tha' dog," the old Scot says, grinning broadly as he pockets the cash.

"He just took my fancy, for some reason," the guy says.

He puts the dog in the back of the car and hits the road. The dog sleeps all the way to London.

The bookie doesn't even go home - he drives straight to his local pub, and rushes in with the dog under his arm. "Don't say a word till I tell you," he whispers to the dog. The dog blinks.

The guys mates all hello him, ask him about his trip.

"Quite eventful actually," he says. "I bought a talking dog."

This throwaway snippet is received with dismissive hilarity.

"No," says the guy. "Straight up. This dog can talk." He puts the dog on a table, and it sits there looking at the blokes gathering round. "Who'll put a fiver on it?"

"Give me two-to-one, I'll put a tenner on it," says a bloke at the back.

"Fair enough," says our man. "Two-to-one."

"Make it five-to-one, I'll go twenty nicker," says another.

"Fine - I'll cover all bets at five-to-one," says the bookie.

Following a flurry of wagering activity, there's a little over a grand on the table in front of the dog.

"Right," says the bookie, turning to the scottie, "perhaps you'd like to say a few words."

The dog blinks.

"Off you go," says the bookie. "Just tell them how we met, or something."

The dog tips his head to one side, staring back at the bookie.

"Pay up," says one of the guys crowded round the table.

The bookie leans down to the dog. "Look, a simple hello will do," he hisses.

The dog licks his face.

The crowd begin to stir. "Come on - I've got fifty quid on at five-to-one. Let's see it."

"Say something, you stupid little furball!"

At which point a poodle is brought in to the pub, and the scottie dog stands up on the table and starts to bark like mad, scrabbling to get down.

Red-faced and steaming, the bookie pays the punters - completely wiping out his takings from the Scottish race meeting, and a lot more - and then he grabs the scottie dog by the collar and storms out to the pub. He heads straight for the canal. He swings the dog by its collar, aiming for the centre of the water.

"Bloody useless stupid dog. I've never been so embarrassed. Best of six grand down the tubes. Well, that's it - that's your lot..."

The dog is choking, strangled by being swung from his collar, but as he's swung out over the canal he manages to croak, "Don't be a bloody idiot! Think of the odds you'll be able to offer next time..."

[MystyrMystyry]

Bastable, for the sake of your integrity, I sincerely hope you didn't come up with that punch-line yourself, but it was in the original telling.

Or is that what they call a shaggy dog story? I've only heard of such things, not actually experienced them...

[MarkBastable]

Bastable, for the sake of your integrity, I sincerely hope you didn't come up with that punch-line yourself, but it was in the original telling.

Or is that what they call a shaggy dog story? I've only heard of such things, not actually experienced them...

I think it was a Barry Cryer joke I heard on a daytime panelgame show called Jokers Wild, probably in the very early seventies, when I was about twelve. I have embellished the telling.

I have a sort of total-recall memory for jokes. Which means that it's about twenty years since I heard a new one - though that kind of 'there's a nun, a priest and a tightrope walker' joke is a bit unfashionable now. Probably just as well.

[MystyrMystyry]

Sometimes I get the feeling you're actually Douglas Adams in disguise

[MarkBastable]

Meanwhile, back in the Grumpy Old Men part of the thread....


Ring-ring, ring-ring...


"Hello?"

"Hello. This is Angel from Virgin Media. Can I speak to Mr Base...Basty..."

"Bastable. This is he."

"Hello. This is Angel from VirginMedia. I'm calling with some good news today about your telephone account. We're looking at your records here for the last few months and we can right now save you money with our good news for you today."

"Ah."

"Can you tell me the first and last letters of your password, so we can talk about this good news?"

"No. I've no idea what my password is."

"So you have forgotten your password, Mr Base....Basty.."

"Bastable. Yes."

"Okay. We can send you a new password. Can you give me the full address on your account so we can send you a new password."

"I don't want a new password."

"Yes, if you tell me the full address on your account, we can send you a new password."

"No - I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to change my password."

"But you need to protect your account."

"If even I don't know what the password is, it's pretty damn protected, isn't it?"

<five second silence>

"So you don't want us to send you a new password?"

"That's broadly the thrust of my argument, yes."

<five second silence>

"Okay. So, if you can give me the full address on your account, I can then talk to you about this good news."

"You've lost me."

"If you can give me the full address on your account, we can talk about this good news."

"Why do I need to give you my address?"

"For security. Because you don't know your password."

"But, you called me at the phone number that you installed at this address. If I'm picking up the phone, I'm likely to know the address of the house I'm in, even if I'm not Mr Basebastybastable."

"Yes, if you can give me the full address on your account, then we can talk about this good news."

"Could you please give the full address of Virgin Media's registered office?"

<five second silence>

"Sorry?"

"Could you please give the full address of Virgin Media's registered office? For security. If you can give me the full address of Virgin Media's registered office, I can talk to you about the good news."

"This is Angel calling from Virgin Media."

"Well, that's what you claim. But Virgin Media already know my full address."

"Yes, if you can give me the full address on your account, then we can talk about this good news."

"Angel, I'm starting to feel a little mean, to be honest. Thing is, I don't really want to have a conversation about the good news."

<five second silence>

"This is Angel calling from Virgin Media. Thank you for taking my call today."

<click>

[Big Dante]

You forgot to ask for his password Bastable, I'm sure he Angel would have happily obliged.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Mark an' Gilliatt elevate the tone,
With pics of Jane and Perse-phone,

Perse-phone is close...

Scylla and Glaucus were causing a raucous
Hammered on Circe’s rum
With his tail upturned he knew he’d been spurned
After grabbing her porcelain bum :



http://www.1st-art-gallery.com/thumbnail/327364/1/Glaucus-And-Scylla.jpg


Anyone for a corn dodger ?

No, but I’m up for a corn dogger…Fletchers that is.



Guys and gal Jocky has got some breaking news which could have life changing repercussions. Scientists have announced without equivocation that the Hadron Collider may or may not have picked up elements of the God particle:

http://www.thepeninsulaqatar.com/international/159766-scientists-suspect-glimpse-of-higgs-boson.html

Remember you heard it in the Cold Ale Thread first. I can't wait to tell Mrs Jocky when she comes home from her work in the morning. :)

The “bumps in the data” are a result of the God particle passing through the French side of the collider loop.


On his way back from a race meeting in the Scotland, a London bookie walks into a tiny, remote pub in the Highlands. There are a few old locals in there, a jolly fat lady at the bar and a scottie dog lying under a table...

..."Don't be a bloody idiot! Think of the odds you'll be able to offer next time..."

Looks like we have additional playwright support for this year's play.


You forgot to ask for his password Bastable, I'm sure he Angel would have happily obliged.

Something for Big Dante:

http://famousdeadmormons.com/images/92.jpg

.

[Paulclem]

You forgot to ask for his password Bastable, I'm sure he Angel would have happily obliged.

I thought we were on first name terms here on the cold ale thread? We've got Gilliatt, Jocky, Mick, Big Dante and Atheist, (which like a title, admittedly, such as Antichrist or Venerable according to who it is who's viewing). Why then Bastable? I've never been near a Public School, and so this habit never ingrained itself. What about you other chaps? Shouldn't it be Mark then?

[prendrelemick]

Good point paul, otherwise members might mistake him for staff

[MarkBastable]

Good point paul, otherwise members might mistake him for staff

I knows my place, Mr Michael, and that's a fact. I wouldn't expect to mix with the likes of you sirs. Wunt be right, that. Unlike some around here as I could mention, I knows better than to be sucking up to big nobs.

[DocHeart]

I thought we were on first name terms here on the cold ale thread? We've got Gilliatt, Jocky, Mick, Big Dante and Atheist, (which like a title, admittedly, such as Antichrist or Venerable according to who it is who's viewing). Why then Bastable? I've never been near a Public School, and so this habit never ingrained itself. What about you other chaps? Shouldn't it be Mark then?

It's just that he's got the kind of surname one wants to utter. You know? "Bastable." Feels good when one says it.

[jocky]

I have sent him an invite to our next function in the Curmudgeon's Arms. If he buys a round he will be forever known as Mark if not it will be plain old Bastable.

[The Atheist]

Guys, I wanna share something with you.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/funny.gif

You're a great man - I've told Parker to put those on my tab!

Cheers.

[The Atheist]

I thought we were on first name terms here on the cold ale thread? We've got Gilliatt, Jocky, Mick, Big Dante and Atheist, (which like a title, admittedly, such as Antichrist or Venerable according to who it is who's viewing). Why then Bastable? I've never been near a Public School, and so this habit never ingrained itself. What about you other chaps? Shouldn't it be Mark then?

Definitely Mark. I've always loved the way those schools are "public".


Guys and gal Jocky has got some breaking news which could have life changing repercussions. Scientists have announced without equivocation that the Hadron Collider may or may not have picked up elements of the God particle:

http://www.thepeninsulaqatar.com/international/159766-scientists-suspect-glimpse-of-higgs-boson.html

Remember you heard it in the Cold Ale Thread first. I can't wait to tell Mrs Jocky when she comes home from her work in the morning. :)

Brilliant news!

This is the first time ever that scientists have speculated on the possibility that they might have some evidence - a huge leap forward.

On the strength of that, I might have another drink.

[DocHeart]

Brilliant news!

This is the first time ever that scientists have speculated on the possibility that they might have some evidence - a huge leap forward.

On the strength of that, I might have another drink.

My round, Parker. If God particles exist, does that mean he is actually made of matter? That would be so très banal. Next thing he's gonna float down the stock exchange.

Happy Saturday night to all :)

[MarkBastable]

Definitely Mark. I've always loved the way those schools are "public".


Ah, well, there's a very reasonable reason for that obviously confusing term....

Re how I should be addressed, let's not get hung up on this 'Mark' or 'Bastable' thing. Just kick back and refer to me as 'Your Awesomeness'.

[jocky]

Ah, well, there's a very reasonable reason for that obviously confusing term....

Re how I should be addressed, let's not get hung up on this 'Mark' or 'Bastable' thing. Just kick back and refer to me as 'Your Awesomeness'.

A word to the wise 'Your Awsomeness' Soundo will not take kindly to pouring your tea and cleaning Bastable Hall. :)

[MarkBastable]

A word to the wise 'Your Awsomeness' Soundo will not take kindly to pouring your tea and cleaning Bastable Hall. :)

Huh? I would never expect that kind of subservience from a woman. That's why God gave us the Scots.

[The Atheist]

My round, Parker. If God particles exist, does that mean he is actually made of matter? That would be so très banal. Next thing he's gonna float down the stock exchange.

Happy Saturday night to all :)

:lol:

Damn right.

I bet the shares go through the roof!


Ah, well, there's a very reasonable reason for that obviously confusing term....

Yep, and I understand it perfectly. Doesn't stop it being funny, especially when our similar schools are referred to as "private" despite being completely available to all people, and hence "public" as well.


Re how I should be addressed, let's not get hung up on this 'Mark' or 'Bastable' thing. Just kick back and refer to me as 'Your Awesomeness'.

Careful - we Southern Hemisphereans have a wide range of colloquialisms for English.

You may even find some of your fellow Northern Hemisphereans have a few as well, but you'd best check with jocky.

;)

[jocky]

Huh? I would never expect that kind of subservience from a woman. That's why God gave us the Scots.

That was a cheap shot Mark. I have spent more than half my life wearing out boots in defence of Great Britain. If you meant to have a go at me personally I can live with that but slagging my countrymen off in general is unworthy goodnight mate .

[Big Dante]

Something for Big Dante:

http://famousdeadmormons.com/images/92.jpg

.


Thankyou very much :)


I thought we were on first name terms here on the cold ale thread? We've got Gilliatt, Jocky, Mick, Big Dante and Atheist, (which like a title, admittedly, such as Antichrist or Venerable according to who it is who's viewing). Why then Bastable? I've never been near a Public School, and so this habit never ingrained itself. What about you other chaps? Shouldn't it be Mark then?


Well the current trend is to add Y onto the end of the name so it should become Marky, Marky boy etc. The only exception is when 'dawg' is added and the Y is dropped to become just Mark Dawg.

[The Atheist]

The only exception is when 'dawg' is added and the Y is dropped to become just Mark Dawg.

What happens to the big, tough guy whose nickname is Dog? Doggy sounds a bit poofy, and Dog Dawg doesn't work...

[MarkBastable]

That was a cheap shot Mark. I have spent more than half my life wearing out boots in defence of Great Britain. If you meant to have a go at me personally I can live with that but slagging my countrymen off in general is unworthy goodnight mate .


It was a response to the post about SoM. If you were from Wales, I'd've said Welsh. If you were from France, I'd've said French. If you were from Nigeria, I'd've said Nigerian.

I have nothing against the Scots. And I have nothing for them, either. None of my best friends are Scots; but neither can I think of a Scot I dislike - at least, not for their Scottishness.

So - y'know - let's not fall out over my perceived attitude to Scottish people, because I haven't really got one.

On the other hand, I find your landscapes profoundly and unremittingly depressing. I've never got that 'sweeping grandeur' thing. Scottish vistas always look to me like headaches made geological.

I was in Fochabers last week. I liked it. Rather than adjust my attitude to the whole of Scotland, I've decided to regard Fochabers as an independent village state, and therefore not Scotland at all.

[jocky]

It was a response to the post about SoM. If you were from Wales, I'd've said Welsh. If you were from France, I'd've said French. If you were from Nigeria, I'd've said Nigerian.

I have nothing against the Scots. And I have nothing for them, either. None of my best friends are Scots; but neither can I think of a Scot I dislike - at least, not for their Scottishness.

So - y'know - let's not fall out over my perceived attitude to Scottish people, because I haven't really got one.

On the other hand, I find your landscapes profoundly and unremittingly depressing. I've never got that 'sweeping grandeur' thing. Scottish vistas always look to me like headaches made geological.

I was in Fochabers last week. I liked it. Rather than adjust my attitude to the whole of Scotland, I've decided to regard Fochabers as an independent village state, and therefore not Scotland at all.

:)

Aye, well at least admit you like our whisky. Cheers!

[Big Dante]

What happens to the big, tough guy whose nickname is Dog? Doggy sounds a bit poofy, and Dog Dawg doesn't work...

Then Big is added in front of the name. Hence Big Dante. Dantey and Dante Dawg did not work therefore it became Big Dante. :D

[jocky]

Then Big is added in front of the name. Hence Big Dante. Dantey and Dante Dawg did not work therefore it became Big Dante. :D

How about Deputy Dawg surely we can all relate to that. I am getting too old for this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F85BCzo1F_8

[Big Dante]

How about Deputy Dawg surely we can all relate to that. I am getting too old for this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F85BCzo1F_8

You can never be too old for Deputy Dawg :hand:

This show single handedly pioneered half the lyrics of rap music.

[prendrelemick]

Thankyou very much :)




Well the current trend is to add Y onto the end of the name so it should become Marky, Marky boy etc. The only exception is when 'dawg' is added and the Y is dropped to become just Mark Dawg.



Then there is that endearing Aussie tradition of adding 'o' on the end of a name, like Thomo and Billo. Course it would make Mark sound Mediterranean. but anything is better than Marky.

[prendrelemick]

You can never be too old for Deputy Dawg :hand:

This show single handedly pioneered half the lyrics of rap music.


:smilielol5::smilielol5:

[MarkBastable]

The gopher in Deputy Dawg has the second best cartoon-character name ever - the first being the crazy inventor in Wacky Racers.

[soundofmusic]

Who's that?

Whoever it is, I think that that's too abrupt a transition from flora to fauna, so here's a picture to get us there more smoothly.

http://i447.photobucket.com/albums/qq193/markbastable/autiful-red-heads-sexy-Nature-Flowers-flowers-Crimsons-Album-ruiva-girl-Kobiety-Roses-Flowers-pretty-girl-fantasy-labrujita-roses-Sexy-Redhe.jpg

Looks like you just rescued her from the 7 dwarfs, Mark. I've always wondered if the prince carried mouth wash, I really wouldn't want to kiss someone who had been sleeping that long.


Sanity has been restored at last by farmer Mick and the man who started it all in the first place Mark Bastable.

If you look very closely at Steffi's breasts with the aid of a damn fine magnifying glass you will clearly see a minute imbalance between the left and right breast. It is well for a chap to notice these details.

Now you see, it's comments like this and Jockeys incredible literature range tht has sometimes had me thinking Mrs. J has taken over his identity.


In your dreams Bastable! (mine too)



http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/steffi_graf9.jpg


Jocky: Could be, but its all about the legs with Steffi.

Oh, my poor lads, I see I've left you too long and you are again fantasizing about the boobless wonder...I must admit, those are great stilts though.


What a woman!

She is one of the reasons I hate Andre Agassi so much, Imagine a bloke who married her and Brooke Shields. Ok, she's crazy, but....

Okay, what is the attraction of Agassi, money or a long tongue :hand:

[QUOTE=MarkBastable;1053536]Alright - I have another idea for a thread. Like the flowers thing, it has a slightly non-hairy-arsed element, but I think there's enough swinging dickery about it to be worth a shot.

So - women in representational art whom you would oblige.

Nudes are obviously allowed, but I'll start off with an ethereal floaty hippy one.

http://madameguillotine.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/jane-morris-blue-silk.jpg

The model for this was Jane Morris. She and the other great pre-Raphaelite muse - Lizzie Siddall - were both total knockouts, if the pictures they sat for - and contemporary accounts - are anything to go by. They certainly appeal to the adolescent bit of me that will forever regret having been born a bit too late for Woodstock and the Stones in Hyde Park.

And while I'm at it...

Heineken don't make late Victorian outdoor jacuzzis, but if they did, they'd probably be the best late Victorian outdoor jacuzzis in the world...

http://www.canvasreplicas.com/images/Hylas%20and%20the%20Nymphs%20John%20William%20Wate rhouse.jpg[/QUOTE}

Love the nymphs, never noticed Sidal had such a big neck, I wonder if she had an adams apple too

[MarkBastable]

If I were to list those who had the greatest influence on my childhood, and therefore my entire life, I guess my Mum and Dad would take the top two slots, but vying for the number three position would be, amongst very few others, Fred Quimby.

However, it's not going to be much of a thread if I suggest we all put forward our favourite producer of short cartoons, so instead we'll go for our favourite cartoon characters.

It's a tough choice, actually. But, until I change my mind, I'll nominate this one ...


http://www.nonstick.com/sounds/Daffy.gif

A metal image of Daffy hangs from my keyring, in just this pose. I really ought to be embarrassed about that, I suppose.

[Big Dante]

I think as far as cartoon movies go....

http://www.wwischoolofanimation.com/beta/wwiblog/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/space-jam-michael-jordan-thumb-560xauto-30117.jpg

[Paulclem]

If I were to list those who had the greatest influence on my childhood, and therefore my entire life, I guess my Mum and Dad would take the top two slots, but vying for the number three position would be, amongst very few others, Fred Quimby.

However, it's not going to be much of a thread if I suggest we all put forward our favourite producer of short cartoons, so instead we'll go for our favourite cartoon characters.

It's a tough choice, actually. But, until I change my mind, I'll nominate this one ...


http://www.nonstick.com/sounds/Daffy.gif

A metal image of Daffy hangs from my keyring, in just this pose. I really ought to be embarrassed about that, I suppose.


I've just bought a DVD of Porky Pig cartoons to watch woth the niece who''s coming next week. I hope to be able to master Porky's stutter in that time. th eh-th-th-eh-th-th-eh that's all folks.

What a fantastic opportunity to annoy the family - especially if it's an inadequate version- which it will be.

[prendrelemick]

Well you see, its difficult, I think Daffy is one of the greatest ever characters in any discipline in the entire history of The Arts.

However, I grew up with these two - who just make me laugh.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/20060404-tomandjerry.jpg


They were a Fred Quimby I think.

[jocky]

These are all impressive but this guy was the daddy:

http://www.chiropracticlifeblog.com/karensconsiderations/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/popeye.jpg

[DocHeart]

So cool. So collected.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vV0Zao8y7TA/TcIGCVuOgeI/AAAAAAAAB5A/ap81ustamSo/s400/DroopyDog2.jpg

[MarkBastable]

Well you see, its difficult, I think Daffy is one of the greatest ever characters in any discipline in the entire history of The Arts.

However, I grew up with these two - who just make me laugh.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/20060404-tomandjerry.jpg


They were a Fred Quimby I think.

The best ones were, yes. The later ones were Hanna-Barbera, and they were crap, and the early ones hadn't found the right balance.

I have to say I never found Popeye in the least funny. Same goes for the Disney stable. My feeling it is that, at a push, I could separate the people I like from the people I dislike along a Daffy-Donald axis.

I may have mentioned this before but it's written into my will that as my body is committed to the flames, the accompanying music must be the sting from Warner Brother cartoons, timed so that as the furnace doors close on my coffin the mourners are advised that 'Tha-tha-der-der-that's all, folks!"

[prendrelemick]

Here's where I start (or should that be continue) boring everyone on here by mentioning the test series against India. Great win for England today, but I would like the little God to get another 100.

[Paulclem]

Tom and Jerry were brill - you're right Mark. The later ones were crap.

Do you remember Arthur The King of Camelot? I always got a profound sense of disappointment watching it.

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=8995

But I did like the Hair Bear Bunch.

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=8997

I also thought you'd like to know that i got the kids a little treat tday. We're a long way from Christmas, and so I thought I'd bring a little cheer into their lives.

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=8996

They are just like the chicken ones except you do get a flavour of stuffing... and then noodles in an indeterminate sauce, but hey - they were only £1.20 for 3.

[Paulclem]

I also wanted to upload some flowers from ages ago. Yes - I bought a micro SD card converter from the pound shop again. I'm sorry they're late. they were good this year though - the roses.


http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=9000


http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=8998


http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=8999

[The Atheist]

If I were to list those who had the greatest influence on my childhood, and therefore my entire life, I guess my Mum and Dad would take the top two slots, but vying for the number three position would be, amongst very few others, Fred Quimby.

That's an interesting question - who was the greatest influence - and you started me trying to figure out who it was. My parents were old alcoholics by the time I came along and the last of my siblings had left home by the time I was 9.

I always tell people I brought myself up, which isn't far from the truth.


Here's where I start (or should that be continue) boring everyone on here by mentioning the test series against India. Great win for England today, but I would like the little God to get another 100.

Yes, great win! Even better to see England actually holding form.

[prendrelemick]

Tom and Jerry were brill - you're right Mark. The later ones were crap.



I also thought you'd like to know that i got the kids a little treat tday. We're a long way from Christmas, and so I thought I'd bring a little cheer into their lives.

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=8996

They are just like the chicken ones except you do get a flavour of stuffing... and then noodles in an indeterminate sauce, but hey - they were only £1.20 for 3.

You spoil them kids Paul.

By the way, I was in your old stamping ground yesterday. We went dahn t'pit at the National Coal Mining Museum. Thank god daddy was a farmer!

[Paulclem]

You spoil them kids Paul.

By the way, I was in your old stamping ground yesterday. We went dahn t'pit at the National Coal Mining Museum. Thank god daddy was a farmer!

I know - there were no Pot Noodles when I were a lad. It were a vesta meal.

Yeah - nightmare job. the thing was you couldn't get a job down there even if you were mad enough to want one. You had to have family in the "business" to get a look in. Talk about inverted snobbery.

My relatives were - amongst others - cow herders from County Durham. My Grandad left and became a shepherd. My other Grandad was a sailor from WW1 to just before WW2. My Great Great Grandad was a miner.

[jocky]

Time for something completely different. I wonder what Machiavelli, Hobbes and the rest of the gang would have made of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xd_zkMEgkI

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Time for something completely different. I wonder what Machiavelli, Hobbes and the rest of the gang would have made of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xd_zkMEgkI

"Just beacuse some watery tart threw a sword at you..." - I use that line around the pool side or when I'm taking a bath.

Something along the same lines (?) :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP3VAtGLQms&feature=related

That blonde in the front is starting to set my trip wire.


I'm getting caught up:

Looney Tunes were the among the best and to think that one person, Mel Blanc, was the voice behind so many of those characters. Fog Horn Leg Horn was perhaps my favorite.

Here is another favorite of mine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WT-fxBNKs8

My paternal grandfather worked in the oil fields of norther Oklahoma. Here is a picture of the connecting crew taken in the early 1920's. He is the one directly above the "C" in "Connecting":

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/For%20the%20Sonata/ConnectingGang.jpg

.

[soundofmusic]

If I were to list those who had the greatest influence on my childhood, and therefore my entire life, I guess my Mum and Dad would take the top two slots, but vying for the number three position would be, amongst very few others, Fred Quimby.

However, it's not going to be much of a thread if I suggest we all put forward our favourite producer of short cartoons, so instead we'll go for our favourite cartoon characters.

It's a tough choice, actually. But, until I change my mind, I'll nominate this one ...


http://www.nonstick.com/sounds/Daffy.gif

A metal image of Daffy hangs from my keyring, in just this pose. I really ought to be embarrassed about that, I suppose.

Great idea, Mark. I learned my first concepts of the dating world from Popeye, Olive and Brutis...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CXcmaPQuDk&feature=related



I've just bought a DVD of Porky Pig cartoons to watch woth the niece who''s coming next week. I hope to be able to master Porky's stutter in that time. th eh-th-th-eh-th-th-eh that's all folks.

What a fantastic opportunity to annoy the family - especially if it's an inadequate version- which it will be.

Oh, can you get someone to record that, I want to see it haha

I loved Marvin the Martian too:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7A4HeawmE6A&feature=related


Well you see, its difficult, I think Daffy is one of the greatest ever characters in any discipline in the entire history of The Arts.

However, I grew up with these two - who just make me laugh.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/20060404-tomandjerry.jpg


They were a Fred Quimby I think.

Yeah, Daffy was the greatest; particularly, when he was put with Bugs. I don't remember much with Tom and Jerry; they were a bit after my cartoon days.


These are all impressive but this guy was the daddy:

http://www.chiropracticlifeblog.com/karensconsiderations/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/popeye.jpg[/QUOTE}

I remember mom bringing this slimy canned spinach out of the can and trying to tell me that Popeye got his stregnth from that; I always thought popeye was a bit scrawny though.



[QUOTE=Paulclem;1055780]I also wanted to upload some flowers from ages ago. Yes - I bought a micro SD card converter from the pound shop again. I'm sorry they're late. they were good this year though - the roses.


http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=9000


http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=8998


http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=968&pictureid=8999

Your flowers are gorgeous, I never had any full blooms like that.


That's an interesting question - who was the greatest influence - and you started me trying to figure out who it was. My parents were old alcoholics by the time I came along and the last of my siblings had left home by the time I was 9.

I always tell people I brought myself up, which isn't far from the truth.

Yes, great win! Even better to see England actually holding form.

Nothing like bad role models to haunt our dreams for the rest of our lives, make us change all of our parenting concepts only to later make the same mistakes our parents did.

[prendrelemick]

That line, "Help! Help! I'm being repressed", became our school day mantra in the 5th form.

Also when asked any question at all by the repressive regime we would answer with the same question eg, "Is that the African value of PI or the European one? We were dithspicable, as Daffy might've said.

[jocky]

"Just beacuse some watery tart threw a sword at you..." - I use that line around the pool side or when I'm taking a bath.

Something along the same lines (?) :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP3VAtGLQms&feature=related

That blonde in the front is starting to set my trip wire.


I'm getting caught up:

Looney Tunes were the among the best and to think that one person, Mel Blanc, was the voice behind so many of those characters. Fog Horn Leg Horn was perhaps my favorite.

Here is another favorite of mine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WT-fxBNKs8

My paternal grandfather worked in the oil fields of norther Oklahoma. Here is a picture of the connecting crew taken in the early 1920's. He is the one directly above the "C" in "Connecting":

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/For%20the%20Sonata/ConnectingGang.jpg

.

Loved the Three Stoogies vid which I have never seen before and the photo of your Grandad's rig outfit, he looks a man of character. Given the heatwave you are experiencing I thought you and Soundo might appreciate this from the Captain and given Mark's Zappa poster he might enjoy this as well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqRHr5pEIFU

[Varenne Rodin]

That line, "Help! Help! I'm being repressed", became our school day mantra in the 5th form.

Also when asked any question at all by the repressive regime we would answer with the same question eg, "Is that the African value of PI or the European one? We were dithspicable, as Daffy might've said.

Delightful!

[Paulclem]

That's a great picture Gilliatt.

We're rather bereft of pics in our family. There are some of when we were kids, but hardly any of the family other than my parents. I don't suppose they were'nt great photo takers.

[The Atheist]

We're rather bereft of pics in our family. There are some of when we were kids, but hardly any of the family other than my parents. I don't suppose they were'nt great photo takers.

Sounds like me - there are few photos of me anywhere, and I'm pretty sure none at all from the ages of 12-17.

People valued cameras in those days.

:D

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... I thought you and Soundo might appreciate this from the Captain and given Mark's Zappa poster he might enjoy this as well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqRHr5pEIFU

Jocky, I bow in your general direction.
That is one for the wall of shame and to think of the time and energy wasted on pondering the question of whether Lennon was a genius or who was the better poet; Morrison or Dylan? We know who the genius is!



Delightful!

Don't look now fellas, but looks like someone may have gotten lost on their way to the coffee shop.
Welcome Varenne !
Parker will get you fixed up in short order.


That's a great picture Gilliatt.

We're rather bereft of pics in our family. There are some of when we were kids, but hardly any of the family other than my parents. I don't suppose they were'nt great photo takers.


Sounds like me - there are few photos of me anywhere, and I'm pretty sure none at all from the ages of 12-17.

People valued cameras in those days.

:D

Thanks Paul and you're right Atheist, we have hoards of photographs from the family past.
I'll see if I can get a couple more to share, perhaps my maternal grandfather. He's the one who inspired my fetish for the smell of old books ...and reading.

.

[soundofmusic]

Time for something completely different. I wonder what Machiavelli, Hobbes and the rest of the gang would have made of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xd_zkMEgkI

Feels like the 60s or a interview with John Lennon:lol:


"Just beacuse some watery tart threw a sword at you..." - I use that line around the pool side or when I'm taking a bath.

Something along the same lines (?) :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP3VAtGLQms&feature=related

That blonde in the front is starting to set my trip wire.


I'm getting caught up:

Looney Tunes were the among the best and to think that one person, Mel Blanc, was the voice behind so many of those characters. Fog Horn Leg Horn was perhaps my favorite.

Here is another favorite of mine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WT-fxBNKs8

My paternal grandfather worked in the oil fields of norther Oklahoma. Here is a picture of the connecting crew taken in the early 1920's. He is the one directly above the "C" in "Connecting":

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/For%20the%20Sonata/ConnectingGang.jpg

.

Did the little broad with the glasses pull at her bloomers, or was I imagining things. I seem to recall building up alot of static when I was a young thing.


That line, "Help! Help! I'm being repressed", became our school day mantra in the 5th form.

Also when asked any question at all by the repressive regime we would answer with the same question eg, "Is that the African value of PI or the European one? We were dithspicable, as Daffy might've said.

Okay gents, speaking of Daffy, I am confused about something, Why don't Shakespearean actors spit anymore. Remember, they used to spit all the way through King Lear and Hamlet


Delightful!

Who's the hot broad...welcome, fellow sexy woman...


Sounds like me - there are few photos of me anywhere, and I'm pretty sure none at all from the ages of 12-17.

People valued cameras in those days.

:D
I'm sure there were alot of pictures taken of you, it's just that like mums eyes at the time, they were out of focus. I think my mom took alot of pictures of her thumb about that time:out:

[Varenne Rodin]

Who's the hot broad...welcome, fellow sexy woman...




Well, aren't you a peach? Thanks, dollface.

[Buh4Bee]

Well, there is nothing wrong with being a strong confident woman. You go Sugardoll!

[prendrelemick]

What's happening? we're knee deep in women! Have you been auditioning pole dancers again Parker?

[MarkBastable]

What's happening? we're knee deep in women! Have you been auditioning pole dancers again Parker?

Intriguingly specific estimation of depth, that.

[DocHeart]

How many Greeks does it take to customize a software application?

None. They all go for default.

:party:

[DocHeart]

What's happening? we're knee deep in women! Have you been auditioning pole dancers again Parker?

Nah, he's just interviewing them. He wants private lessons. :)

[Varenne Rodin]

Well, there is nothing wrong with being a strong confident woman. You go Sugardoll!

Thank you, Jersea. I swear I'm not a pole dancer.

[prendrelemick]

Well that's a relief, some of our older members turn puce at the sight of a shapely ankle. Anything more risque would finish them off.

[Big Dante]

As ZZ Top wisely said. "It's a planet of women."

[jocky]

To our new lady, the official song for the Cold Ale Thread sang by Atheist himself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy1ueZf1WMQ

[The Atheist]

Why don't Shakespearean actors spit anymore.

Ah, you've just explained something for me. Obviously, all Indian people are aspiring Shakespearean actors. Well, all the ones in NZ, anyway.


What's happening? we're knee deep in women! Have you been auditioning pole dancers again Parker?

Only knee deep? That's not going to be much good.


How many Greeks does it take to customize a software application?

None. They all go for default.

:party:

Stolen! That's very good.


To our new lady, the official song for the Cold Ale Thread sang by Atheist himself:

:smilielol5:

There are wedding pictures of me at my first wedding that look quite a lot like that.

[jocky]

Mrs Jocky is being difficult again. It all began late on Sunday evening as I walked unsteadily up our front path belting out the Halleluja Chorus from Handel's Messiah. There she was silhouetted in the front doorway in what I can only describe as a warlike
pose.

"Where the hell have you been?"

I have been at Evensong.

"Evensong! You have never seen the inside of a church since the day we got married, you even refused to have our kids Christened."

Aye, but this was different they had a free communion wine tasting.

"If I find out you have been down at the Curmudgeons with that bunch of wasters from the Cold Ale Thread it will be the sofa for you for the forseeable future."

Let me past darling I think I am going to throw up.

[Paulclem]

Mrs Jocky is being difficult again. It all began late on Sunday evening as I walked unsteadily up our front path belting out the Halleluja Chorus from Handel's Messiah. There she was silhouetted in the front doorway in what I can only describe as a warlike
pose.

"Where the hell have you been?"

I have been at Evensong.

"Evensong! You have never seen the inside of a church since the day we got married, you even refused to have our kids Christened."

Aye, but this was different they had a free communion wine tasting.

"If I find out you have been down at the Curmudgeons with that bunch of wasters from the Cold Ale Thread it will be the sofa for you for the forseeable future."

Let me past darling I think I am going to throw up.

:lol:
We'll have to get a super extra large sofa for the club. At worst case we'll be like Charlie Bucket's grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

[Varenne Rodin]

Don't look now fellas, but looks like someone may have gotten lost on their way to the coffee shop.
Welcome Varenne !
Parker will get you fixed up in short order.



Thanks a million. Which one is Parker?

[Varenne Rodin]

To our new lady, the official song for the Cold Ale Thread sang by Atheist himself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy1ueZf1WMQ

:lol:

Of all the Youtube videos I've seen today, this one is easily my favorite! The imagery is burned on my retinas like a solar imprint. Kids in the Hall fed them brain candy.

Thanks, Jocky!

[Paulclem]

Thanks a million. Which one is Parker?

Parker runs the Cold Ale Club where we all retire of an evening, or when our Missuses get tired of us and order us out of the house. He can procure you every liquid whim.

You'd better get your order in for your favourite drink with a brief description. If he's in any doubt, then he gets whiskey.

[Varenne Rodin]

Parker runs the Cold Ale Club where we all retire of an evening, or when our Missuses get tired of us and order us out of the house. He can procure you every liquid whim.

You'd better get your order in for your favourite drink with a brief description. If he's in any doubt, then he gets whiskey.

Whiskey is far too cheap and trifling for someone of my stately sophistication. I'll have Merlot. ;)

[Paulclem]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwKLgTUb-EQ

This was Parker in his previous job. He can be formidable, even though he looks a bit rough - as though he's had a few.

[jocky]

Right I am going to my shakkie doon but I will leave our fella Americanos with this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UPJ-euBzSM


Now I know politicking is frowned upon in our Shangri La but I am getting slightly concerned about my pension, and the state of the world economy. How do I lobby the Whitehouse? :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JvHroG3u5E

[prendrelemick]

Whiskey is far too cheap and trifling for someone of my stately sophistication. I'll have Merlot. ;)


I think he has some of the '84 left in a dark corner of his dungeon cellar.
Crickey Jocky what are you doing up at this hour? I hope you're not sleeping on the couch again.

[jocky]

I think he has some of the '84 left in a dark corner of his dungeon cellar.
Crickey Jocky what are you doing up at this hour? I hope you're not sleeping on the couch again.


Aye. you have got it easy you have still got to work for a living and you do not to have Mrs J checking on your hoovering skills and pointig out that your dishwashing qualities leave a lot to be desired.:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC2LYxdupRw

If only :)

[prendrelemick]

Apparently my achilles heel is an inability to open curtains correctly.

[jocky]

How to balance a budget. Mrs Jocky show me the books:

" And what books would that might be?"

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

What's happening? we're knee deep in women! Have you been auditioning pole dancers again Parker?

Now I know what's going on. Earnest T just told me there was a coup at the coffee shop. Turns out they were serving instant coffee:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvRWY4uQtI&feature=related



How many Greeks does it take to customize a software application?

None. They all go for default.

Haha. By the way Doc you looked spiffy in that wedding photo.


Thanks a million. Which one is Parker?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwKLgTUb-EQ

This was Parker in his previous job. He can be formidable, even though he looks a bit rough - as though he's had a few.

Who is this Parker?

The wife performed her nightly tucking, the dog fetched my nightcap of Wild Turkey with marjoram and the son played a sonata as the dock ropes were cast off, allowing me to drift into that nether world once again seeking the answer to Parker.
Last night the synaptic currents revealed yet another scene from Parker’s past…

Before the days when Parker had settled in West Midlands spraying Rolls Royce with his Thompson, he was a bar tender in the small scratch of town nestled in the cleavage of the Grand Teet…oops make that Tetons of Wyoming.
Here’s how Parker appeared during those dark ages at the Bloke’s Bar. You’ll notice in my vision that he is called “Will” (Billy Parker), but now he goes by Parker in an effort to forget that part of his past.

Parker makes his appearance at 1:05 to about 4:50 (for those who live an abridged life)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuPNe4MTsvg&feature=related


Hey sodbuster…yeah I’m talking to you Paul. Did you catch the potato picker line?




Aye. you have got it easy you have still got to work for a living and you do not to have Mrs J checking on your hoovering skills and pointig out that your dishwashing qualities leave a lot to be desired.:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC2LYxdupRw

If only :)


There's the cue to bring back Prendrelemick's classic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8CTscW3dpI


.
.

[Varenne Rodin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwKLgTUb-EQ

This was Parker in his previous job. He can be formidable, even though he looks a bit rough - as though he's had a few.

Hahaha. Why does the Parker puppet remind me so much of David Lynch? I love Thunderbirds.

[Varenne Rodin]

After some diligent research, I am astonished that I never knew Parker existed. This fellow knew, and he does a bang up impression.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exIKi8kfkB8

[Paulclem]

N




Hey sodbuster…yeah I’m talking to you Paul. Did you catch the potato picker line?

.
.

You talkin' to me? Oh. there's no-one else standing here so I guess it must be me. Yes. Yes I did.

Sodbuster - I've been called many things things, but that has a ring to it. :biggrin5:

[Paulclem]

After some diligent research, I am astonished that I never knew Parker existed. This fellow knew, and he does a bang up impression.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exIKi8kfkB8

Yes....m'Lady...

[The Atheist]

Parker, as always, brings to mind Lady Penelope.

If you've seen the Thunderbirds film using real people, you'll know what I mean.

I think a round of drinks on jocky's bill about now should see Mrs J in apoplexy-land.

So go ahead, be creative - the more expensive, the merrier!

[jocky]

Has anyone seen my mojo?

[Alexander III]

Wow! I cant believe I only discovered about this thread now, geez I have missed out.

Anyways will be popping by the club on occasion

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Has anyone seen my mojo?

Yeah, it's down in Louisiana in a mojo hand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgp74TJZPKo&feature=related



Wow! I cant believe I only discovered about this thread now, geez I have missed out.

Anyways will be popping by the club on occasion

Parker needs to expand the bar. I'll draft up some ideas.


.

[prendrelemick]

Has anyone seen my mojo?



Does anyone else remember those little black chewy sweets (four for a penny) called mojos?


Meanwhile, I'm sorry but I have to mention the cricket, (again) Stuart Broad had 5 wickets for 0 runs including a hattrick and a dropped catch in 16 balls at one stage yesterday!

Thats quite good, I should add, (for our international members.)

But India are a champion team and still have the upper hand, claiming a wicket late last night. I hope the rumours of them smearing vaseline on their hotspots is untrue!

[The Atheist]

Has anyone seen my mojo?

I had one of those once but put it in cold storage. You're welcome to that one if you like.


Wow! I cant believe I only discovered about this thread now, geez I have missed out.

Anyways will be popping by the club on occasion

Welcome aboard!

There's always room for one more, and it's not like you can be late or anything - this place never closes.

[Varenne Rodin]

Cricket sounds like magic. I wish I could get British TV here.

[MarkBastable]

Does anyone else remember those little black chewy sweets (four for a penny) called mojos?


Yeah - also Fruit Salads. And sherbet dips. And Jamboree Bags. And limeade. And Wanted Posters Bubble Gum.

[MystyrMystyry]

Cricket sounds like magic. I wish I could get British TV here.

No it isn't - certain people can make it seem like THE thing to do, but it's just baseball on valium

As for Brit TV - there're some shows you should download off the WWW (cricket not being one of them!) that have actual actors and writers involved, and even win deserving awards

Catweazle's my latest indulgence

[The Atheist]

Cricket sounds like magic. I wish I could get British TV here.

Go here (http://www.espncricinfo.com/) to cricket fixes and lots of video of the highlights.

Great time at the moment, with England putting up a very solid second-test effort to go with their first test win.


No it isn't - certain people can make it seem like THE thing to do, but it's just baseball on valium

Cor blimey, I wouldn't order the special from Parker anytime soon.


As for Brit TV - there're some shows you should download off the WWW (cricket not being one of them!) that have actual actors and writers involved, and even win deserving awards

Hey, reality shows win awards.

Just like the shows, they make 'em up. Fair's fair.

[MarkBastable]

Cricket sounds like magic.

It's more like valium. Cricket manages to be simultaneously boring and dangerous - a combination you wouldn't have thought possible in a sport.

[Varenne Rodin]

No it isn't - certain people can make it seem like THE thing to do, but it's just baseball on valium

As for Brit TV - there're some shows you should download off the WWW (cricket not being one of them!) that have actual actors and writers involved, and even win deserving awards

Catweazle's my latest indulgence

Catweazle. Hilarious title. Thank you, you little darling.


Great time at the moment, with England putting up a very solid second-test effort to go with their first test win.

I'll give it a look. I can't resist.


It's more like valium. Cricket manages to be simultaneously boring and dangerous - a combination you wouldn't have thought possible in a sport.

Ha. I sometimes find American football to be that combination. :rolleyes5:

[prendrelemick]

Cricket sounds like magic.


Yes it is! You are obviously very astute and intelligent. It is a game you don't have to concentrate on, you can lay back and slowly absorb it, it seeps into you like a warm feeling. Often nothing happens for an hour or two - it doesn't matter. Its a 5 day narrative, full of plots and sub-plots, cameos and clashes, its a team game thats all about individuals.

or as Athiest said a game played by Gentlemen and Australians.

[Paulclem]

Does anyone else remember those little black chewy sweets (four for a penny) called mojos?



I certainly do - and 4 for a penny. They came in a wierd and forever unrepeatable flavour - something between cherry and raspberry, but smooth.

Black Jacks and Bazooka Joes. Candy Tobacco that was made from coconut. Pineapple chunks. Chocolate logs and those sherbert flyng saucers. The variety was great, and a bit strange.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Well that's a relief, some of our older members turn puce at the sight of a shapely ankle. Anything more risque would finish them off.

I hope you're sitting down...yes? alone?
OK now jump ahead to about 1:40:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNtNxhQmkt4

Did you catch Jocky at 4:13?



Does anyone else remember those little black chewy sweets (four for a penny) called mojos?...

I don't recall seeing those over here. I do recall the candy cigarettes and the chewing tobacco bubble gum in a pouch.


.

[prendrelemick]

Oh I say!

[MystyrMystyry]

I don't recall seeing those over here. I do recall the candy cigarettes and the chewing tobacco bubble gum in a pouch

Nopt sure about that but did you get Scanlen's gum? It was usually dried out and virtually worthless to get a bubble, but it contained collector swap cards, which was its real appeal

Anyway there's a show over here about Collecting and someone had held on not to the cards but the wrapper - it fetched a grand at auction

[prendrelemick]

Yes it is! You are obviously very astute and intelligent. It is a game you don't have to concentrate on, you can lay back and slowly absorb it, it seeps into you like a warm feeling. Often nothing happens for an hour or two - it doesn't matter. Its a 5 day narrative, full of plots and sub-plots, cameos and clashes, its a team game thats all about individuals.

or as Athiest said a game played by Gentlemen and Australians.



Talking of Gentlemen, what about Indian Captain Dhoni withdrawing that appeal yesterday after Bell had been given out. Send him a bottle of Champagne, Parker - and make sure its the good stuff!

[jocky]

Talking of Gentlemen, what about Indian Captain Dhoni withdrawing that appeal yesterday after Bell had been given out. Send him a bottle of Champagne, Parker - and make sure its the good stuff!

He was oot end of story.

[prendrelemick]

He was out, no doubt about it, and he hadn't the grace to thank the Indians afterwards

[jocky]

He was out, no doubt about it, and he hadn't the grace to thank the Indians afterwards

The idea of the gentleman does seem to be losing ground apart from our very own Parker who would have choked over his broadsheet, which he would have been ironing to place in the Cold Ale lounge, if he had seen that unsportsmanship like behaviour. Despicable.

[jocky]

Yeah, it's down in Louisiana in a mojo hand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgp74TJZPKo&feature=related







.

It is in safe hands with ole Lightning hopkins, I could not think of a better man to look after my mojo. If only I had caught the 3.10 to Yuma I would never have been humiliated at 4.13. This should explain everything:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYRggv-OGSI

[jocky]

To Soundo and Suggery this is for you, who says the age of chivalry is gone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKvB3g3HEPQ

Who said us Jocks are not romantic, apart from Mrs Jocky. :)

[Paulclem]

It is in safe hands with ole Lightning hopkins, I could not think of a better man to look after my mojo. If only I had caught the 3.10 to Yuma I would never have been humiliated at 4.13. This should explain everything:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYRggv-OGSI

Seasick Steve is excellent.

How about catching the next tour by flying Yorkshire Airlines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA

[jocky]

Seasick Steve is excellent.

How about catching the next tour by flying Yorkshire Airlines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA

:lol:

Ryanair could not serve mushy peas of that quality.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

To Soundo and Suggery this is for you, who says the age of chivalry is gone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKvB3g3HEPQ

Who said us Jocks are not romantic, apart from Mrs Jocky.

Be careful with that Corries tune, you'll find that I'm an ole romantic too. Sounds nice.
Oh and that Ian Anderson tune you posted a while back is a hit with the missus.


Seasick Steve is excellent.

How about catching the next tour by flying Yorkshire Airlines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA

Five green laugh'n smilies fer ya !

.

[prendrelemick]

Meanwhile, in Scotland...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuPP-2Noy-c&NR=1

[jocky]

Meanwhile, in Scotland...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuPP-2Noy-c&NR=1

:lol:

I had a feeling you might dig that one out.

Gilliat I am glad your Missus liked the Anderson song she is obviously a lady of great taste.

[prendrelemick]

Seasick Steve is excellent.

How about catching the next tour by flying Yorkshire Airlines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA


Actually, we're quite proud of being like that.:lol:

[The Atheist]

"Wipe thy bluddy feet"

:lol:

[prendrelemick]

Course every region has something a little bit odd.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/image-444x595.jpg

[The Atheist]

Course every region has something a little bit odd.

Odd doesn't beging to describe that - what the hell is it? My guess is art that the artist was paid thousands of punds for.

[Paulclem]

Odd doesn't beging to describe that - what the hell is it? My guess is art that the artist was paid thousands of punds for.

The piece is called Non-Handed Piss. It depicts the end of the piss and the technique of the non-handed shake.

[Paulclem]

Actually, we're quite proud of being like that.:lol:

We are. :iagree:

[The Atheist]

The piece is called Non-Handed Piss. It depicts the end of the piss and the technique of the non-handed shake.

I'd be telling him to get his prostate checked very soon!

[Paulclem]

I'd be telling him to get his prostate checked very soon!

:lol:
If he pays his dues in the club then we can all get a minibus up together come the time.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Odd doesn't beging to describe that - what the hell is it? My guess is art that the artist was paid thousands of punds for.


The piece is called Non-Handed Piss. It depicts the end of the piss and the technique of the non-handed shake.

Close Paul, my son tells me it is titled "Voldemort's Non Handed Piss" aka "Voldemort Shakes Dew off Lily" among southerners.

http://ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=1123926808110&id=cbd3a1360762f4b3752554c1d5dec40e&url=http%3a%2f%2fwww.mwctoys.com%2fimages%2freview _ggvoldie_1.jpg

.

[soundofmusic]

Well, aren't you a peach? Thanks, dollface.

Anytime;)

Well, there is nothing wrong with being a strong confident woman. You go Sugardoll!

:idea:I'm an insecure woman in a confident womans body; but as no one looks more than skin deep :lol:


What's happening? we're knee deep in women! Have you been auditioning pole dancers again Parker?

Did Parker trick us again, I, Mrs J, the two Mrs P's, and Mrs G all received invitations saying that there was going to be a mens wet tea shirt and tighty whitey contest...:drool5:


Intriguingly specific estimation of depth, that.

:iagree::lol:




Only knee deep? That's not going to be much good.



Obviously it works for Mark, I guess he has more going for him than a cool car.:auto:


Mrs Jocky is being difficult again. It all began late on Sunday evening as I walked unsteadily up our front path belting out the Halleluja Chorus from Handel's Messiah. There she was silhouetted in the front doorway in what I can only describe as a warlike
pose.

"Where the hell have you been?"

I have been at Evensong.

"Evensong! You have never seen the inside of a church since the day we got married, you even refused to have our kids Christened."

Aye, but this was different they had a free communion wine tasting.

"If I find out you have been down at the Curmudgeons with that bunch of wasters from the Cold Ale Thread it will be the sofa for you for the forseeable future."

Let me past darling I think I am going to throw up.

I hope you didn't tell her that there are more women on the thread; Mrs J is a force to be dealt with...particularly when she starts quoting shakespeare


:lol:
We'll have to get a super extra large sofa for the club. At worst case we'll be like Charlie Bucket's grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

:nopity:

[prendrelemick]

Close Paul, my son tells me it is titled "Voldemort's Non Handed Piss" aka "Voldemort Shakes Dew off Lily" among southerners.

http://ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=1123926808110&id=cbd3a1360762f4b3752554c1d5dec40e&url=http%3a%2f%2fwww.mwctoys.com%2fimages%2freview _ggvoldie_1.jpg

.

:lol::lol:

Its called Solace in the Wind. Perhaps that's a Kiwi euphenism like, "hang on a minute I'm just going for a solace in the harbour."

[The Atheist]

:idea:I'm an insecure woman in a confident womans body; but as no one looks more than skin deep :lol:

I should borrow you for the does love exist thread!

:D



Its called Solace in the Wind.

:facepalm:

I never even picked that that was Wellington. My original thought when you posted it was, "What the hell is Ghandi doing in bluddy Yorkshire?"

Now, I understand. Wellington likes to sell itself as the arts capital of NZ. It has to, since there absolutely nothing else going for it.

Last time I was down there, I reckon I was fishing with the kids from that very spot. Great place to catch stingrays.

It was, however, made by a Pommy (http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/wellington/267468/Sharing-his-solace-with-a-windy-city)!


Perhaps that's a Kiwi euphenism like, "hang on a minute I'm just going for a solace in the harbour."

If you know Wellington, even that's explained. The wind is usally blowing a gale from the direction it's facing, which is why Wellington residents develop a list after a few years there.

[prendrelemick]

Mrs P's only comment was "Has he got a willy?"

I wonder how many Wellingtonian maidens are going fall in to the harbour trying to answer that very question.

[Paulclem]

Mrs P's only comment was "Has he got a willy?"

I wonder how many Wellingtonian maidens are going fall in to the harbour trying to answer that very question.

That depends upon whether there is anything to hang on to.

[The Atheist]

That depends upon whether there is anything to hang on to.

:smilielol5:

Convenient hand-hold?

Funnily enough, that is exactly the piece of wharf Wellington Girls' College sixth-formers jump off into the harbour on the last day of term before final exams.

It's the last day they have to wear uniform and a hundred or so of them dive in every year in full school uniform. Being summer and all in white blouses....

Popular event, that!

Lucky he's made of bronze.

[prendrelemick]

Seems that the world economic situation has penetrated the fastness of W. Yorks. I'm allowed only one Hobnob with my tea tonight. Have I lost my AAA credit rating at the post office? Or is Mrs P on one of her diets that always seems to include me in its privations? Cold Comfort Farm it is.

[Paulclem]

I'm supposed to be observing one - no chocolate cake biscuit etc etc. I often just forget though and end up absentmindedly stuffing something in.

[The Atheist]

I'm supposed to be observing one - no chocolate cake biscuit etc etc.

Diets are a tool of Satan.

That's why women like them so much.

[MarkBastable]

:smilielol5:


It's the last day they have to wear uniform and a hundred or so of them dive in every year in full school uniform. Being summer and all in white blouses....

Popular event, that!

Lucky he's made of bronze.


Who wouldn't be?

[MarkBastable]

I'm supposed to be observing one - no chocolate cake biscuit etc etc...

Nothing wrong with observing a diet. I often observe one. "Ah, darling, I observe that you're avoiding your roast potatoes. May I?"

Actually, I have been losing weight, which I needed to do. I have an app for it. You tell it what you've eaten - or what you're considering eating - and it tells you how many calories are in it. It also gives helpful advice. ("The Pret-a-Manger All Day Breakfast? Are you out of your blubbery mind?")

I've lost well over a stone in about four months, which is a sensible rate of shed, I think. Needless to say, this is all without any kind of exercise at all. I even get someone at the office to walk over to the Wharf at lunchtime to bring back my hoi sin duck sushi ("187 calories. Fill yer boots, sunshine.")

[Varenne Rodin]

Diets are a tool of Satan.

That's why women like them so much.

We do love Satan.

[Paulclem]

I found last year that if I just have fruit in between meals, then I do lose the fat. I get lots of exercise, but no have a more sedentary sitty downy job than I did before. That coupled with a later forties change has grown my gut.

Harder to lose these days.

[prendrelemick]

We do love Satan.


Mrs P loves satin too.

[Paulclem]

Mrs P loves satin too.

:lol:

How many blokes have been tempted by satin?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Mrs P loves satin too.


:lol:

How many blokes have been tempted by satin?

Not here, we like things hot and rough, so we prefer burlap.


.

[Paulclem]

Not here, we like things hot and rough, so we prefer burlap.


.

:lol:

Some people look good in anything.

[DocHeart]

Nothing wrong with observing a diet. I often observe one. "Ah, darling, I observe that you're avoiding your roast potatoes. May I?"

Actually, I have been losing weight, which I needed to do. I have an app for it. You tell it what you've eaten - or what you're considering eating - and it tells you how many calories are in it. It also gives helpful advice. ("The Pret-a-Manger All Day Breakfast? Are you out of your blubbery mind?")

I've lost well over a stone in about four months, which is a sensible rate of shed, I think. Needless to say, this is all without any kind of exercise at all. I even get someone at the office to walk over to the Wharf at lunchtime to bring back my hoi sin duck sushi ("187 calories. Fill yer boots, sunshine.")


:lol:

[DocHeart]

:lol:

How many blokes have been tempted by satin?


Satin Doll -- by the Duke

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDDCzb3dv_Y

[Paulclem]

Satin has dolls? I bet I know which kind.:lol:

[jocky]

" Now the youth of England are afire and silken dalliance in the wardrobe lies " Geez.

[soundofmusic]

Gracious, what is happening to my blokes, is Mark turning you into dapper gentlemen who discuss cheese, art, music and what is it now...silk:svengo:

Okay, Gails viewpoint of silk: Silk makes wonderful bedsheets, only if you don't plan any recreational activity, otherwise, you slip off...
I like men in silk boxers, buy them a size larger because they don't give when you do... Silk looks lovely on geishas and very skinny women, for a meaty woman like myself, we look like a flesh clothesrack...

[jocky]

Gracious, what is happening to my blokes, is Mark turning you into dapper gentlemen who discuss cheese, art, music and what is it now...silk:svengo:

Okay, Gails viewpoint of silk: Silk makes wonderful bedsheets, only if you don't plan any recreational activity, otherwise, you slip off...
I like men in silk boxers, buy them a size larger because they don't give when you do... Silk looks lovely on geishas and very skinny women, for a meaty woman like myself, we look like a flesh clothesrack...

:lol:

No Soundo I was referring to the terrible riots which took place in London and other areas of England last night.

[The Atheist]

:lol:

No Soundo I was referring to the terrible riots which took place in London and other areas of England last night.

Yeah, that's not a good thing, and I doubt they can blame all of it of drunken Irishmen.

From afar, it looks like too many feckless teenagers who communicated the bright idea that is they all do breaking and entering at the same time, the cops will only catch some of them.

[The Atheist]

Silk looks lovely on geishas and very skinny women, for a meaty woman like myself, we look like a flesh clothesrack...

Nah, the more fulsome woman is what gossamer layers were made for.

[MarkBastable]

Nah, the more fulsome woman is what gossamer layers were made for.

I take it you're going for usage 5, rather than, say, 2. (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fulsome)


Me, I've never seen the erotic appeal of silk. Or indeed any fabric, specifically. For me, clothes are all about content rather than style.

[prendrelemick]

All five really!

I do like the half revealed, half hidden look - with promises beneath and all that, intrinsic in a bit of satin.

However this is a bloke's thread, we should be singing about Four and Twenty Scottish Virgins and supping few Newkie Browns instead of all this intimate revelation.

[jocky]

However this is a bloke's thread, we should be singing about Four and Twenty Scottish Virgins and supping few Newkie Browns instead of all this intimate revelation.

That was a work of pure fiction, at no point in history were there ever Twenty Four Virgins in Inverness. We need cheering up and here is just the thing to help the Newkie Broons be a bit more more palatable:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ2SEdnn_II&NR=1

Pass me the screwdriver.

[Paulclem]

Yes - I had a light fitting taped up for 2 years because I'd blown it. I just never got round to it.

[MarkBastable]

That was a work of pure fiction, at no point in history were there ever Twenty Four Virgins in Inverness.

What most irks me about that song is the erroneous use of 'less' at the end of the second line. In a grammatically-correct universe, they would come from Stenhousemuir.

[prendrelemick]

:D

It aint not right isnt it.