Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[jocky]

:lol: One must endeavour to keep a dignified air at all times.

See you Sheffies you have nerves of steel, I once knew a guy from Sheffield he was a fellow soldier, his name was Phil I dont suppose you know him do you? Apparently he moved to a Kibbutz in Israel. I hope I spelled Kibbutz correctly, judging by my short experience on Lit Net, it is the spelling mistakes that do you in. According to my calculations, based on the Gregorian Calender, you should be well pissed by now. ;)

[LitNetIsGreat]

See you Sheffies you have nerves of steel, I once knew a guy from Sheffield he was a fellow soldier, his name was Phil I dont suppose you know him do you? Apparently he moved to a Kibbutz in Israel. I hope I spelled Kibbutz correctly, judging by my short experience on Lit Net, it is the spelling mistakes that do you in. According to my calculations, based on the Gregorian Calender, you should be well pissed by now. ;)

Oh yes old Phil, tallish, has a way with the ladies I know him. No, I am not "pissed" (really, how undignified - such vulgar terminology, tut, tut) I actually had a coffee after my thirst had been quenched. Seeing as I am on holiday at the moment, or at least off work, I have taken to two "first" drinks of the day. One in the afternoon and one at night, that way I get to experience the thrill twice!

This afternoon for example, around 4ish I quaffed a nice wheat beer in town and as I had not had any dinner it really hit the spot. I then went to this little pub I know that has a pizza oven on the premises and stuffed myself with a lovely 12" "Versuvio" pizza and cold beer, all in a dignified stuffing of course.

Several hours later I was able experience the rush of the first drink again, followed by a second, and then a coffee. That's class!

You see you could learn something here. You Scots simply smash the Tennents or Special Brew (or whisky) for breakfast and don't look back.

For Example when I was on a short break the other day there was an old Scottish guy who was at the bar in the hotel when I was getting a drink. He was in his late 60s with a MASSIVE party of Scots, everywhere. He stood at the bar and ordered a load of spirits but was too far gone to remember what he was ordering. He asked for a triple whisky and coke, triple! and several other drinks and then said serve this lad (me) while he was trying to remember what he wanted.

When I had got my drink the guy ordered loads more spirits and walked off. He must have downed them in about 5 minutes, I guess they weren't all his but who knows, and he was back for more. The manager served him this time and reminded him that he had to be up for breakfast (I got the impression that he had stayed there before) and he said no problem etc, downed another couple and went off upstairs. He had been drinking for ages, all night.

Well, the next morning he was up bright as anything chatting away, eating his breakfast with no problems at all, I couldn't believe it. I suppose that is the Scottish way, he must have been used to it. Mad. :lol:

[jocky]

Oh yes old Phil, tallish, has a way with the ladies I know him. No, I am not "pissed" (really, how undignified - such vulgar terminology, tut, tut) I actually had a coffee after my thirst had been quenched. Seeing as I am on holiday at the moment, or at least off work, I have taken to two "first" drinks of the day. One in the afternoon and one at night, that way I get to experience the thrill twice!

This afternoon for example, around 4ish I quaffed a nice wheat beer in town and as I had not had any dinner it really hit the spot. I then went to this little pub I know that has a pizza oven on the premises and stuffed myself with a lovely 12" "Versuvio" pizza and cold beer, all in a dignified stuffing of course.

Several hours later I was able experience the rush of the first drink again, followed by a second, and then a coffee. That's class!

You see you could learn something here. You Scots simply smash the Tennents or Special Brew (or whisky) for breakfast and don't look back.

For Example when I was on a short break the other day there was an old Scottish guy who was at the bar in the hotel when I was getting a drink. He was in his late 60s with a MASSIVE party of Scots, everywhere. He stood at the bar and ordered a load of spirits but was too far gone to remember what he was ordering. He asked for a triple whisky and coke, triple! and several other drinks and then said serve this lad (me) while he was trying to remember what he wanted.

When I had got my drink the guy ordered loads more spirits and walked off. He must have downed them in about 5 minutes, I guess they weren't all his but who knows, and he was back for more. The manager served him this time and reminded him that he had to be up for breakfast (I got the impression that he had stayed there before) and he said no problem etc, downed another couple and went off upstairs. He had been drinking for ages, all night.

Well, the next morning he was up bright as anything chatting away, eating his breakfast with no problems at all, I couldn't believe it. I suppose that is the Scottish way, he must have been used to it. Mad. :lol:

Neely, there is no arguing with you mate. It wasnt so much what you said, but your ability to spell tennents correctly. Have I met you before? I have this strange feeling I cant shake off...... I knew it, you are Phil, the signs were all there, tall, dark and a way with the women, and you are still due me fifty quid. Pay up immediately or I will spill the goods on you, remember that time with Phil Oakay, Oh, I get it, its a Phil club! There you go, there is no such thing as coincidence on Lit, Net. Just give me a tenner and we will call it quits. :D

[The Atheist]

Just give me a tenner and we will call it quits. :D

A tenner? Jesus you're cheap!

[LitNetIsGreat]

A tenner? Jesus you're cheap!

Yes, but that will see him right for two four packs of Tennents super strength lager from Angry Mac's Beer Off.

On today's menu is a short bike ride, 20 mile or so (really it is just to help my brother train) then having worked up a thirst I know this wonderful country pub with brilliant views, good ale and cheap but decent food. Having burned off a lot of calories and tuned my appetite, I can then eat and drink with no worries. Read and learn. :D

[prendrelemick]

Scotland 0 -Norway 4

Don't you just love those-slapstick-slipping on banana skin-custard pie in face-treading on garden rake- type comedy shows.?

[The Atheist]

And so many of them involve sports teams from Britain.

[jocky]

Yes, but that will see him right for two four packs of Tennents super strength lager from Angry Mac's Beer Off.


Couple of tiny misconceptions there Neely. There is no such thing as Tennents super strengh lager and I always get my carry oot from Accommodating Mary's Mild Mannered Hostelry. ;)


Scotland 0 -Norway 4

Don't you just love those-slapstick-slipping on banana skin-custard pie in face-treading on garden rake- type comedy shows.?

Jocky will retain a dignified silence on our latest national humiliation. Suffice, it to say that if you lose the Ashes, life may become particularly unbearable for you on this thread. :(

[Nightshade]

Ashes, ashes about that, ccan anyone explain criccket to me?
and while we are at it why is golf supposed to be intresting? To watch that is, I get how playing it is intrsting but why watch it?
:confused:

[jocky]

And so many of them involve sports teams from Britain.

Athiest, do I detect a note of , what I can only describe as a smug satisfaction in your post? Just because the New Zealand rugby team win everything in sight dont get too bold. A Gunboat is on its way as we speak, never underestimate the British Empire. :D


Ashes, ashes about that, ccan anyone explain criccket to me?
and while we are at it why is golf supposed to be intresting? To watch that is, I get how playing it is intrsting but why watch it?
:confused:

Sorry Nightshade, I cannot talk at the moment as I am busy watching the U.S.P.G.A. In my experience women have always been confused, shoes, handbags, MEN, need I go on? :p

:)
A tenner? Jesus you're cheap!

You should see what I have done for a fiver. Its enough to make your hair curl, that is if you have got any left. I will match any donation that Prendrelemick makes, but I dont trust him and need to see a reciept. :)

[kilted exile]

Scotland 0 -Norway 4

Don't you just love those-slapstick-slipping on banana skin-custard pie in face-treading on garden rake- type comedy shows.?

nah I'm far more entertained by the never ending tragedies involving penalty shoot outs against germany & Argentina

[Nightshade]

Sorry Nightshade, I cannot talk at the moment as I am busy watching the U.S.P.G.A. In my experience women have always been confused, shoes, handbags, MEN, need I go on? :p

Pooh sticks as the old bear said, Ive proven you right because I am utterly confused by that statement. why have you capitalised men? Wait are yo saying men are confusing? because they/you arent really, you just have a tendancy to do bizzare things.
I even proved a steryotype about men true during the nightmare group project of the second year, I ened up locking my group ( all male except for me ) into a room with £25 worth of food and drink ( and I think home made biscuits and brownies) for 3 hours and that was the only afternoon I actually managed to get the group to all sit down and work together. and I swear God it was the food, one of the guys even wrote it up in his evaluation of the experiance ( of group work) as the only good thing. so liek I said noit that hard to understand just odd. :lol: :p ;)

[kilted exile]

and while we are at it why is golf supposed to be intresting? To watch that is, I get how playing it is intrsting but why watch it?
:confused:

playing it isnt interesting -it is the most frustrating thing in the world

[jocky]

nah I'm far more entertained by the never ending tragedies involving penalty shoot outs against germany & Argentina

Especially the one when Stewart Pearce misses the penalty. Everytime I get depressed I replay it over and over and over. :lol:


Pooh sticks as the old bear said, Ive proven you right because I am utterly confused by that statement. why have you capitalised men? Wait are yo saying men are confusing? because they/you arent really, you just have a tendancy to do bizzare things.
I even proved a steryotype about men true during the nightmare group project of the second year, I ened up locking my group ( all male except for me ) into a room with £25 worth of food and drink ( and I think home made biscuits and brownies) for 3 hours and that was the only afternoon I actually managed to get the group to all sit down and work together. and I swear God it was the food, one of the guys even wrote it up in his evaluation of the experiance ( of group work) as the only good thing. so liek I said noit that hard to understand just odd. :lol: :p ;)

Did you leave the room with your dignity intact? The whole of Lit, Net is waiting for a reply. ;)

Prosecution Lawyer: Jocky do you mean to tell this jury that your wife died of food poisoning, when the evidence clearly shows there were multiple head traumas, how do you explain this contadiction? Jocky: she wouldnt eat the mushrooms! Judge: You leave this court without a blemish on your character, you can collect your hammer from the Clerk of the Court. Have you anything to say before you leave this place? Jocky: Yes, British justice has triumphed again.

[prendrelemick]

Ashes, ashes about that, ccan anyone explain criccket to me?
and while we are at it why is golf supposed to be intresting? To watch that is, I get how playing it is intrsting but why watch it?
:confused:

sorry Nightshade, it would take a long time, and I have to prepare to go into hiding, if we lose at the oval.:(


Especially the one when Stewart Pearce misses the penalty. Everytime I get depressed I replay it over and over and over. :lol:

Ah yes, when "Psycho" became "Scapegoat"

[Nightshade]

Did you leave the room with your dignity intact? The whole of Lit, Net is waiting for a reply. ;)

If you mean was that the one session when I wasnt inches from brain half of them with a copy of the Universal Decimal Classification Index refrancce books then kicking them while simulationsly trying to hold off 2 of the other members from commiting GBH and killing the lazy idiots one who thought it was a good idea to cheat and the other who thought that the rest of us could do the work for him, then yes, I did survive dignity intact.

Did I actually manage to get any work done, again yes so that was good.

Unfortunatly I did create an expectation that I would provide food everyweek. But hey by that point when it was feed them or kill them, i deicided the feed them route was more dignified!
:D

Now if I had been really smarted Id have used them as guinea pigs for my new reccipies, but I didnt think of that. :lol:


playing it isnt interesting -it is the most frustrating thing in the world

No, I would say its cathartic especially if you imagine the ball is some horrid mean bully's face.
( oops now I sound violent! :lol: I am not really... )

[The Atheist]

Ashes, ashes about that, ccan anyone explain criccket to me?

Cricket?

Sorry, but Parker tells me the board have long since decided that cricket is not a polite subject for a gentlemen's establishment.

(Unless those filthy, sheep-stealing Australians lose.)


Athiest, do I detect a note of , what I can only describe as a smug satisfaction in your post? Just because the New Zealand rugby team win everything in sight dont get too bold.

No, you failed to detect the sardonic cynicism of a hardened sports follower from our fair isles.

Rugby team wins everything in sight? Which team is this? The Springboks?

We win most of the time, except when they get that little gold cup out. You know, the one with Webb-Ellis' name engraved on it? Once that sucker comes out, we play like the high school First XV the morning after the capatain's birthday party.

And we're crap at every other sport not involving boats.

Have you seen our cricket team? They call themselevs the "Black Caps". The only black cap associated with them ought to be the ones the judges used to put on for death senetences! They lost to Bangalore College for Young Ladies last year.


A Gunboat is on its way as we speak, never underestimate the British Empire. :D

Haha! You think our sports are bad, you want to see our defence forces. Actually, you can't see them, because we haven't got any! The only grunts with guns are the 103 in Afghanistan making war on gentle poppy-growers. Gunboat? You could send a bleeding fishing boat! Militarily, we make Iceland look like Israel.


No, I would say its cathartic especially if you imagine the ball is some horrid mean bully's face.
( oops now I sound violent! :lol: I am not really... )

You need a punching bag for that.

That's why golf is the most frustrating thing ever invented by humans. To hit the ball a long way, you need to hit it perfectly, not hard. I hate that in a game.

Great to watch on tv, though.

GO TIGER!!

Oh, and if jocky's still reading, our golf sucks, too. The Kiwi is tied for 135th in a field of 155. 8 over, christ, I could beat him.

[jocky]

Haha! You think our sports are bad, you want to see our defence forces. Actually, you can't see them, because we haven't got any! The only grunts with guns are the 103 in Afghanistan making war on gentle poppy-growers. Gunboat? You could send a bleeding fishing boat! Militarily, we make Iceland look like Israel.


Apparently the Maories are doing a sterling job out there. The latest intelligence reports state that the Taliban casualty rate is multiplying rapidly. The leadership are complaining about your countries new stealth weapon, the boomerang. :)


No, I would say its cathartic especially if you imagine the ball is some horrid mean bully's face.
( oops now I sound violent! :lol: I am not really... )

Cathartic is perhaps, not the expression I can relate to on the golf course. It takes a special kind of hubris to play golf. The amount of times I have missed the ' horrid mean bully's face ' with a three iron doesnt bear thinking about. Golf is a good walk ruined. As to that horrible experience you underwent, your tortuous explanation has completely redeemed your character. :D

Did I tell you about the time my old Sergeant Major pointed his pace stick in my chest? His face was bright red and the veins in his neck were protruding. He screamed in his booming military voice at me. ' Jocky there is a piece of excrement at the end of this stick' To which I replied ' Yes sir, but it is not at my end! ' I was peeling spuds and painting everything that didnt move in Catterick Garrison for six months. The guy had no sense of humour. :)


Ah yes, when "Psycho" became "Scapegoat"
Oh, how the mighty are fallen. :lol:

[LostPrincess13]

Hello! How is everyone doin? It's been awhile since I've last logged on... ;)

[The Atheist]

Did I tell you about the time my old Sergeant Major pointed his pace stick in my chest? His face was bright red and the veins in his neck were protruding. He screamed in his booming military voice at me. ' Jocky there is a piece of excrement at the end of this stick' To which I replied ' Yes sir, but it is not at my end! ' I was peeling spuds and painting everything that didnt move in Catterick Garrison for six months. The guy had no sense of humour. :)

:lol:

I think you and me were a double act!


Hello! How is everyone doin? It's been awhile since I've last logged on... ;)

Much the same - jocky is progressing well with his English, we've shown some manly pictures, swapped fishing stories and have been pining for your return!

:)

[prendrelemick]

Hello! How is everyone doin? It's been awhile since I've last logged on... ;)

LP, Thank goodness you're back. :banana: (The vacuum cleaner is where you left it.)

[jocky]

:lol:





Much the same - jocky is progressing well with his English, we've shown some manly pictures, swapped fishing stories and have been pining for your return!

:)

Thank you for the kind words Athiest. Just wait until I learn to multiquote. :)


Hello! How is everyone doin? It's been awhile since I've last logged on... ;)

Where were you, did you get lost Princess? Navigating your way round these endless shopping trips can cause amnesia and disorientation. Welcome back. :)

My old university professor had a sudden stroke and sadly passed away a couple of minutes after he learned I had got a degree. According to reliable witnesses the last words he muttered, with a look of abject terror on his face were: ' God help Academia if that moronic Scots git is let loose on genteel society ' What he meant by this, no one is certain. My own interpretation, for what it is worth is, it was the last ramblings of an old man who had obviously suffered some sort of traumatic experience. For some unknown reason I was turned away from his funeral. :)

[The Atheist]

:lol:

As good a translation as any!

[jocky]

And another thing, why are ghosts in literature mainly of an aristocratic or middle class background? Royal ghosts always sell well and there is no shortage of green ladies, white ladies etc, etc. You even get lower middle class ghosts, the odd governess or two, but there are not too many Aggie the cleaner phantoms. Athiest, help me out here, could this have any bearing on the phsychology of middle class authors? Just a thought! :)

[LostPrincess13]

:lol:

Much the same - jocky is progressing well with his English, we've shown some manly pictures, swapped fishing stories and have been pining for your return!

:)

What part of the world is Mr. Jocky from? He's rather fluent to pass off as an English gentleman!:) And yes, I'll have the booze ready and the cleaning done gents...:)


LP, Thank goodness you're back. :banana: (The vacuum cleaner is where you left it.)

LOL! And I see how useful it has been since my absence! :lol:


Where were you, did you get lost Princess? Navigating your way round these endless shopping trips can cause amnesia and disorientation. Welcome back. :)

I got lost amongst papers, homework, and reports. ;) But it has the same effect, i assure you. :D And I'm very pleased to meet you sir!:)

[prendrelemick]

And another thing, why are ghosts in literature mainly of an aristocratic or middle class background? Royal ghosts always sell well and there is no shortage of green ladies, white ladies etc, etc. You even get lower middle class ghosts, the odd governess or two, but there are not too many Aggie the cleaner phantoms. Athiest, help me out here, could this have any bearing on the phsychology of middle class authors? Just a thought! :)


working class ghosts are too busy cleaning boots and mucking out ghostly stables to go-a-haunting.

But why, when horses and large red eyed hounds get an afterlife, are there no ghostly midges or tape worms or bacteria? Imagine being haunted by scrofula.

[The Atheist]

And another thing, why are ghosts in literature mainly of an aristocratic or middle class background? Royal ghosts always sell well and there is no shortage of green ladies, white ladies etc, etc. You even get lower middle class ghosts, the odd governess or two, but there are not too many Aggie the cleaner phantoms. Athiest, help me out here, could this have any bearing on the phsychology of middle class authors? Just a thought! :)

Art imitating life.

You've heard of the ghost of Anne Boleyn, but have you ever heard of the ghost of Dorothy Smith of Cromer? Ghosts are sexy.

You just don't find working-class ghosts.

I think it's all a divine plot - even in death the poor folk get all the chores while the rich bastards have all the fun.


What part of the world is Mr. Jocky from? He's rather fluent to pass off as an English gentleman!:)

Oh no!

You've committed the cardinal sin of calling jocky English.

He's Scottish!


LOL! And I see how useful it has been since my absence! :lol:

Parker had a devil of a time figuring out which way the hose went in.

[LostPrincess13]

Oh no!

You've committed the cardinal sin of calling jocky English.

He's Scottish!



LOL! I faintly recall ajoke concerning the Scots, the English, and snakes... :lol:

[Niamh]

LOL! I faintly recall ajoke concerning the Scots, the English, and snakes... :lol:

Do tell!

[jocky]

English gentleman!:) And yes, I'll have the booze ready and the cleaning done gents...:)





LostPrincess, your literary skills are peerless, with just two words you have managed to unhinge me. All is forgiven though, anyone capable of cleaning up this thread has my undying admiration. As for the Scotsman, Englishman and snake story, its not the one about the kick in the bollocks is it? :D


working class ghosts are too busy cleaning boots and mucking out ghostly stables to go-a-haunting.

But why, when horses and large red eyed hounds get an afterlife, are there no ghostly midges or tape worms or bacteria? Imagine being haunted by scrofula.

Prendrelemick, you are unsurpassable in the art of deep philosophical thinking. Jocky has been haunted for many years now by my wife, unfortunately she is still alive. :D



Ghosts are sexy.

Clearly Athiest, you have never had a spectral encounter with my great, great grannie Agnes. Just looking at her portrait is enough to turn your veins to ice and make the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. We tried to have her exorcised but finding a brave enough priest proved impossible. Dorothy Smith of Cromer, now that defenitely rings a bell. :)

[QUOTE=Niamh;763911]Do tell!

Niamh if its the one I am thinking about, you really do not want to hear it. It involves hens, eggs, neighbourly tragedies and male genitals, need I go on! :D

[prendrelemick]

LostPrincess, your literary skills are peerless, with just two words you have managed to unhinge me. All is forgiven though, anyone capable of cleaning up this thread has my undying admiration. As for the Scotsman, Englishman and snake story, its not the one about the kick in the bollocks is it? :D

Which two words do you mean Jocky, English Gentleman or booze ready?

Is that the story involving the sporran and the trouser snake?

So many questions.

[jocky]

Oh no Prendrelemick, I am not falling for your devious Yorkshire ways. I tell the joke and Serious Cat bans me for life. Google The Scotsman, the Englishman and the Snake. Hit the top heading titled Sept 27 1997 and go to the gag titled Poultry Passions. I guarantee it will bring a tear to your eyes. :)

[kilted exile]

I am almost positive I have posted the joke you refer to previously in the joke thread without running afoul of serious cat.

[Nightshade]

Ahh but kilted that was in the days before serious cat moved into the spotlight wasnt it?

[jocky]

Kilted dont you think sleekit is a good Scottish term? Mmmm three minutes, I smell private messages. ;)

[Niamh]

I am almost positive I have posted the joke you refer to previously in the joke thread without running afoul of serious cat.

If jocky wont tell, you should! :p
hehehe
Or just tell me later.

[The Atheist]

Just in case anyone misses the News thread where I also posted this, here's one to make you smile!

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=10592004

[prendrelemick]

Ah yes, proof of womanhood test, very complicated. I think it involves fitting the hose onto a hoover whilst running a duster over the wainscoting.

[The Atheist]

Have you seen "her"?

Check this out. 100% of 3 kids reckoned it was a boy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-bqET22vEU

My vote goes to male pseudohermaphrodite (http://www.healthofchildren.com/I-K/Intersex-States.html).

[The Atheist]

I love early mornings.

It's the only benefit I ever saw to farming - getting up before the rest of the world and enjoying the peace & quiet, the birdsong, the cool air.

An amazing spring morning here.

[jocky]

If jocky wont tell, you should! :p
hehehe
Or just tell me later.

Am I missing something here? :)


sorry Nightshade, it would take a long time, and I have to prepare to go into hiding, if we lose at the oval.:(
Jocky may have miscalculated a tad on this one, now I may go missing for a wee while, however I have had the good sense to put a hundred quid on England to beat the " filthy Aussie sheep stealers " after checking the weather forecast from now till Monday. :rolleyes:

[QUOTE=The Atheist;765716]I love early mornings.

It's the only benefit I ever saw to farming - getting up before the rest of the world and enjoying the peace & quiet, the birdsong, the cool air.

An amazing spring morning here.

Athiest that takes me right back to my bird watching days. I was one of the few twitchers to see the Methusalem bird, it flew in ever decreasing circles till it disappeared up its own rectum. A sight to behold. :D

This may be a wee bit controversial, but what do us men look for in a woman? Hello darling I have just finished a twelve hour shift, Oh! your glass is empty, I will just top it up for you, wait I need to light your cigar. If you just hold on a second I will just put on my see though nightie after I have bedded the children and cleaned the house. Then I will make love to you like an animal, before I have to get up in the morning. Sounds good to me! :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Hope you boys don’t mind an interloper wedgin his way in here but my throat is parched down here in Texas. Beggars can’t be choosers, but if you happen to have some Lone Star Beer, I’d sure love to soak my gizzard with a case or two. Yes it’s rot gut, but we don’t care much for taste down here cause there’s nothing left to taste with. Our buds have been fried on jalapenos and baked every summer in a Texas oven. Hell we’ll settle with castor oil and rubbing alcohol.

Well boys, it’s time I best be movin on. I got me a pair of Allison’s to straddle (engines that is) I suggest you turn up the volume!! – enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhORZrWOUfo&feature=related

Gilliatt

[jocky]

Hope you boys don’t mind an interloper wedgin his way in here but my throat is parched down here in Texas. Beggars can’t be choosers, but if you happen to have some Lone Star Beer, I’d sure love to soak my gizzard with a case or two. Yes it’s rot gut, but we don’t care much for taste down here cause there’s nothing left to taste with. Our buds have been fried on jalapenos and baked every summer in a Texas oven. Hell we’ll settle with castor oil and rubbing alcohol.

Well boys, it’s time I best be movin on. I got me a pair of Allison’s to straddle (engines that is) I suggest you turn up the volume!! – enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhORZrWOUfo&feature=related

Gilliatt

And your point is? Dont come the jalapenos with us, a mature civilisation with centuries of history behind us and Jaffa Cakes. And I saw that film with Kris Krisstoferson " Freedoms just another word for nothing left, nothing left to lose" Just a little point are you cowboys as hard as Ben Stiller?

[LostPrincess13]

Hello everyone! I've been trying to find the joke but I couldn't find it. :( I think it goes something like why the Scottish don't have snakes in Scotland. The Scot replied, "We do! We have the English!". LOL!
Thank you for the compliment Mr. Jocky, you're too kind. ;)

[Nightshade]

sorry Nightshade, it would take a long time, and I have to prepare to go into hiding, if we lose at the oval.:(
Jocky may have miscalculated a tad on this one, now I may go missing for a wee while, however I have had the good sense to put a hundred quid on England to beat the " filthy Aussie sheep stealers " after checking the weather forecast from now till Monday. :rolleyes:
:lol: Well I gather something momentus happened , we were stuck in traffic listening to Radio 2 when they inturrpeed the traffic report ( THEY NEVER DO THAT!!) To shout about it :banana: play some music and miraculously my mum was suddenly no longer as annoyed with the traffic jam.

But what was it that happened? THAT is what I need to know!

[prendrelemick]

:D Its complicated, But probably due to an accident on the M60 causing a traffic snarl-up throughout the greater Manchester area.;)

The one aspect of cricket we easily out perform the Aussies at, is the mid-order collapse! Watch this space:rolleyes:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

And your point is? ... Just a little point are you cowboys as hard as Ben Stiller?

What’s the point?! Good god man! I’m talking about the smell of 100 octane in the morning, firing up a few thousand horsepower, or kW if you blokes prefer, with a bottle of Wild Turkey in your lap. This is the “blokes” escape thread isn’t it? Or was that an insinuation that us dude’s here on the other side of the pond need not apply? Perhaps you would feel more at home with the sound of a Rolls Royce Merlin. Either way, I believe we can share in some common ground here; the sound of power amplified by the ale in your veins and the prop wash in your face.

In regards to Stiller, I refuse to comment on the power of the man’s circulatory system, we’ll leave that to the ET’s, Oprah’s and other myriad of trashy entertainment talk shows.

And what’s this talk about crickets, wouldn’t that be more appropriate in a entomology thread?

Gilliatt

[The Atheist]

This may be a wee bit controversial, but what do us men look for in a woman?

Me, usually.



The one aspect of cricket we easily out perform the Aussies at, is the mid-order collapse! Watch this space:rolleyes:

Not only missed that, but the tail wagged pretty hard.

In an all-or-nothing match, England seem to hold most of the cards!


What’s the point?! Good god man! I’m talking about the smell of 100 octane in the morning, firing up a few thousand horsepower, or kW if you blokes prefer, with a bottle of Wild Turkey in your lap. This is the “blokes” escape thread isn’t it? Or was that an insinuation that us dude’s here on the other side of the pond need not apply?

Nah, it's just ritual transatlantic bagging.

We won't tell you what new English members have to put up with, but if you've ever been to a English Public School, you'd have some idea.

;)



Perhaps you would feel more at home with the sound of a Rolls Royce Merlin. Either way, I believe we can share in some common ground here; the sound of power amplified by the ale in your veins and the prop wash in your face.

In jocky's case, it's more likely to be the sound of a 50CC Vespa.

Ever seen a man on a motorbike wearing a kilt?

'Nuff said....


And what’s this talk about crickets, wouldn’t that be more appropriate in a entomology thread?

Gilliatt

Cricket is a game for gentleman.

And Australians.

[prendrelemick]

What’s the point?! Good god man! I’m talking about the smell of 100 octane in the morning, firing up a few thousand horsepower, or kW if you blokes prefer, with a bottle of Wild Turkey in your lap. This is the “blokes” escape thread isn’t it? Or was that an insinuation that us dude’s here on the other side of the pond need not apply? Perhaps you would feel more at home with the sound of a Rolls Royce Merlin. Either way, I believe we can share in some common ground here; the sound of power amplified by the ale in your veins and the prop wash in your face.

In regards to Stiller, I refuse to comment on the power of the man’s circulatory system, we’ll leave that to the ET’s, Oprah’s and other myriad of trashy entertainment talk shows.

And what’s this talk about crickets, wouldn’t that be more appropriate in a entomology thread?



Gilliatt

Gilliatt,we are neighbours separated by a common language.

and theres no way I would ever put a wild turkey on my lap

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Me, usually.

Nah, it's just ritual transatlantic bagging.

In jocky's case, it's more likely to be the sound of a 50CC Vespa.

Ever seen a man on a motorbike wearing a kilt?

Cricket is a game for gentleman.

And Australians.

Not sure how fast that Vespa will do, but in order to avoid a spectacle on your M60, let’s hope Jocky is wearing some breeches under that Kilt. Come to think of it, perhaps that’s what caused your traffic snarl up.

Now imagine the following in the voice of Slim Pickens – You know the guy; Dr. Strangelove, Blazing Saddles, etc :

I took a look at this gentlemen’s game and I gotta say, you fellas sure go to uh lotta trouble knocking off a few crickets on the lawn. Those whacker sticks must create a bloody mess and how do you keep em corralled on that Pitch area? Why, we jus round them critters up an feed em to our pet horned toads and iguanas. Some folks ul drop one or two into their Wild Turkey, kinda like the worm in the Tequila yuh know.


Gilliatt,we are neighbours separated by a common language.

and theres no way I would ever put a wild turkey on my lap

Maybe Jerry Jeff Walker and Gary Nunn can bring us a little closer together:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4Ppc3jz3GE

Gilliatt

[LostPrincess13]

Drinks on me today gents!
http://uploadlibrary.com/guesthousewest/champagne.jpg

[prendrelemick]

Ah, I see you've opened the good stuff LP.

but lets wait till close of play today.:thumbs_up


Not sure how fast that Vespa will do, but in order to avoid a spectacle on your M60, let’s hope Jocky is wearing some breeches under that Kilt. Come to think of it, perhaps that’s what caused your traffic snarl up.

Now imagine the following in the voice of Slim Pickens – You know the guy; Dr. Strangelove, Blazing Saddles, etc :

I took a look at this gentlemen’s game and I gotta say, you fellas sure go to uh lotta trouble knocking off a few crickets on the lawn. Those whacker sticks must create a bloody mess and how do you keep em corralled on that Pitch area? Why, we jus round them critters up an feed em to our pet horned toads and iguanas. Some folks ul drop one or two into their Wild Turkey, kinda like the worm in the Tequila yuh know.



Maybe Jerry Jeff Walker and Gary Nunn can bring us a little closer together:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4Ppc3jz3GE

Gilliatt

Are them theer lads what thi calls "gud ole boys"then?:confused:

Here's the british equivilent .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zwwqEm5YhQ&feature=related

[LostPrincess13]

Ah, I see you've opened the good stuff LP.

but lets wait till close of play today.:thumbs_up

Close of play sir?

[prendrelemick]

Its a polite Cricketing term

I should have put:- Lets save it for when we 've stuffed the Aussies.


To explain in terms you are famililar with, The Austrailians have been knocked down twice, given a standing count, but are still hanging in there. England have to find the killer punch to finish them off.

[LostPrincess13]

Its a polite Cricketing term

I should have put:- Lets save it for when we 've stuffed the Aussies.


To explain in terms you are famililar with, The Austrailians have been knocked down twice, given a standing count, but are still hanging in there. England have to find the killer punch to finish them off.

Oh I see! But i meant it for an entirely different occasion... ;)

[The Atheist]

Gratefully accepted. What's the occasion?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Oh I see! But i meant it for an entirely different occasion... ;)


Gratefully accepted. What's the occasion?

Gentlemen, I believe the dear lady is trying to say it his her birthday, that is, if I am understanding my Forums birthday list at the bottom of the home page correctly.
Assuming that is the case, then happy birthday LostPrincess !!!
the next round of Wurzels Cider is on me,

Gilliatt

[The Atheist]

Gentlemen, I believe the dear lady is trying to say it his her birthday, that is, if I am understanding my Forums birthday list at the bottom of the home page correctly.
Assuming that is the case, then happy birthday LostPrincess !!!
the next round of Wurzels Cider is on me,

Gilliatt

Ah, the front door, never use it myself - good spot!

And happy birthday Princess!

Perfect timing to have a birthday, all of Britain, the British Commonwealth and any other country which knows where AUstralia is partying along with you.

We may not see pren for a week or two after this one.

[LostPrincess13]

Gentlemen, I believe the dear lady is trying to say it his her birthday, that is, if I am understanding my Forums birthday list at the bottom of the home page correctly.
Assuming that is the case, then happy birthday LostPrincess !!!
the next round of Wurzels Cider is on me,

Gilliatt


Ah, the front door, never use it myself - good spot!

And happy birthday Princess!

Perfect timing to have a birthday, all of Britain, the British Commonwealth and any other country which knows where AUstralia is partying along with you.

We may not see pren for a week or two after this one.

Thank you sirs! 'Tis a pleasure to have spent the day with you!:) And yey me! The UK celebrated with me! LOL!

[prendrelemick]

Ah that was sooo good.

I can't remember enjoying anyones birthday as much as Princess's.

WE're still laughing at Ricky-the-run-out-Ponting's dissmissal.:lol:


By the way, now she's turned 18, Parker will have to pay her for all she does round here.

[LostPrincess13]

Ah that was sooo good.

I can't remember enjoying anyones birthday as much as Princess's.

WE're still laughing at Ricky-the-run-out-Ponting's dissmissal.:lol:


By the way, now she's turned 18, Parker will have to pay her for all she does round here.

Awww, I'm glad to hear that!:D I don't mind the work load Mr. Parker!:D Although, it would be nice to have a lil incentive... ;)

[The Atheist]

Note for gentlemen (and others).

Swine flu is a pig.

I've had it all week and only just starting to come right now - I think & HOPE!

I have had worse viruses, but this little sucker is really resilient - it just loves hanging around and making you feel crook.

Get vaccinated as soon as the vaccine is available.

[prendrelemick]

I hope it can't spread electronically.

[Niamh]

Note for gentlemen (and others).

Swine flu is a pig.

I've had it all week and only just starting to come right now - I think & HOPE!

I have had worse viruses, but this little sucker is really resilient - it just loves hanging around and making you feel crook.

Get vaccinated as soon as the vaccine is available.

just rest. I've known people who have had it. Hope you feel better soon.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Gentlemen,
I’ll have you know that for the past week or so, my mind, I use that term loosely, has been held hostage by the imagery and sound of those confounded Wurzel’s, crickets and wild turkey. A myriad of chaotic thoughts have been darting about in my head. Early this morning, the thoughts had finally coalesced into a eureka moment :

Are you a man’s man!? Do you spend your days slugging through the moors tracking stray sheep? Have your lungs turned into a couple of sandbags from breathing dust all day punching cattle in Paducah? Either way my friend, you’ve put in a hard day of toil and deserve a break and the best way to wash that dust down your gullet is with a Wild Wurzel! Wild Wurzel will warm the cockles of your soul and bring succor to the weariness in your bones.

I’m intrigued, do tell, what is this Wild Wurzel you speak of?

Well my friend, it is the twenty-first century rage among mixed drink connoisseurs. Sodbusters, Blokes, Neo-Mods and Bohemian Clods are all singing the praises of this nectar of the gods. It is an unfathomable blend of one part Wild Turkey 101, the finest Kentucky whiskey known to man and two parts Wurzel cider, a dram of jalapeño juice and one dried Gryllidae Nemobiinae.

So hurry up and finish that Sunday roast and Yorkshire pudding, throw a couple more chunks of peat or prairie Frisbees on the fire and let your mind take a walk on the wild side, try a Wild Wurzel today. You’ll be sing’n with the crickets tonight!

LEGALESE FINE PRINT:

Wild Wurzel has medicinal value particularly in staving off ailments such as swine flu, dry rot and moor rash.

Wild Wurzel is not to be transported or consumed beyond the borders of Texas or Yorkshire County.

Extreme caution must be employed in regards to the volume of Wild Wurzel consumed. Overindulgence will often lead to fits of rage or the welling up of a prideful tear while slurring sentimental battle cries from the Alamo or Towton.

It is strongly recommended that ONLY the species; Gryllidae Nemobiinae be used in the concoction. Any other specie will likely produce a horrific outburst in the presence of the porcelain god.

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/test1.jpg

[prendrelemick]

Sounds like a cocktale to me.


Are you related to Jocky by any chance?

are pararie frisbees a bovine scatological fuel source.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Sounds like a cocktale to me.


Are you related to Jocky by any chance?

are pararie frisbees a bovine scatological fuel source.

No blood relation, but I believe we do share the same seamstress; he for his kilt and I for my chaps.

Aye, and a great fuel source they be. For campfire entertainment you can try the fire toss. get a few blokes to circle the fire about thirty paces away and see you can get their frisbee into the fire. Remember the old addage that "smoke follows beauty" so you better hope you're an ugly cuss, cuz that stuff stinks!

[prendrelemick]

Tried it once (we were drunk) at a mates house, with dry (ish) horse dung. It didn't work. It nearly caused the fire to go out and made alot of smoke and stink. This was indoors in his fire place. When his wife threw us out, I noticed the night around the house had suddenly become foggy, a strange fog, that was rolling down the hill from his chimney engulfing the village below. People still talk of,"The night of the Great Stink" in these parts.

[Scheherazade]

Swine flu is a pig.

I've had it all week and only just starting to come right now - I think & HOPE!
Hope you are better by now, Atheist!

[The Atheist]

Hope you are better by now, Atheist!

Yes finally, thanks.

Amazing damned thing - I posted that a week ago, and it's really only yesterday that I could claim to have shaken the blighter off. Strange virus; three times I thought I'd beaten it, but I can tell the difference now I feel 100% that I was only at about 80% and kidding myself.

God, it feels so good to feel well again!

[The Comedian]

God, it feels so good to feel well again!

Nice!

[LostPrincess13]

I'm really glad you're feeling better Mr. Atheist!:D

[The Atheist]

Thanks!

It's bloody good to feel 100% again. One thing about being sick is that when you do feel better, you feel better than before because you forget how sick you felt!

:)

[LitNetIsGreat]

Thanks!

It's bloody good to feel 100% again. One thing about being sick is that when you do feel better, you feel better than before because you forget how sick you felt!

:)

Absolutely true. I was sick for three or four days a couple of weeks ago, the first thing I did when I was better was to eat and drink with such frenzy, oh the joy to be able to taste again! I got hold of some great beer and cheese and relished every drink and bite!

And speaking of great beer, I believe there is a wee Belgian waiting for me downstairs right now...:)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

It's bloody good to feel 100% again. One thing about being sick is that when you do feel better, you feel better than before because you forget how sick you felt!


It's good to have you back 100%.


Tried it once (we were drunk) at a mates house, with dry (ish) horse dung. It didn't work. It nearly caused the fire to go out and made alot of smoke and stink. This was indoors in his fire place. When his wife threw us out, I noticed the night around the house had suddenly become foggy, a strange fog, that was rolling down the hill from his chimney engulfing the village below. People still talk of,"The night of the Great Stink" in these parts.

Great story!
Not only should we "keep our powder dry", it would seem that we should keep our dung dry!

"The night of the great stink" sounds like the makings of a great campfire story or a movie.

Gilliatt

[The Atheist]

Been having a particularly blokey few days building the sprogs an outdoor playhouse.

Pics in the next day or two - the house has been alive with the sound of power saws!

[The Atheist]

In fact, here's the ground floor.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/playhouse.jpg

[The Comedian]

Nice work Atheist! I'm sure the residents of that house will be quite pleased with it.

Do you plan to shingle the roof of that play house?

[MANICHAEAN]

This thread was started at 12.49am on the 4th December 2009 by The Atheist.
Those of little faith & even less bottom said it would fade away.
As of today, there have been 1,578 contributions & the baby appears to be in robust health.
The early 10 pages covered the subjects: beer, rugby, tennis babes, surfer babes, marking out ones territory, Chuck Norris movies, tools, boobs, butts, flatulance & fishing.
The last 10 pages covered: exfoliating, body hair loss, tea, haggis, The Atheist contributing hair for charity, beer, The Ashes & swine flu.
A definate sign of maturing from all concerned!

Whoops. 2008 !

[Scheherazade]

A definate sign of maturing from all concerned!*belches in agreement*

[The Atheist]

Nice work Atheist! I'm sure the residents of that house will be quite pleased with it.

Do you plan to shingle the roof of that play house?

Nope; roof put on today, one whole sheet of 3rd grade 3-ply.


This thread was started at 12.49am on the 4th December 2009 by The Atheist.
Those of little faith & even less bottom said it would fade away.
As of today, there have been 1,578 contributions & the baby appears to be in robust health.
The early 10 pages covered the subjects: beer, rugby, tennis babes, surfer babes, marking out ones territory, Chuck Norris movies, tools, boobs, butts, flatulance & fishing.
The last 10 pages covered: exfoliating, body hair loss, tea, haggis, The Atheist contributing hair for charity, beer, The Ashes & swine flu.
A definate sign of maturing from all concerned!

Whoops. 2008 !

Go blokes!!

[The Atheist]

Stage 2, the second floor.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/playhouse2.jpg

[prendrelemick]

Looking good.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

In fact, here's the ground floor.


Looking good.
Going back to the first photo, I noticed the footwear on the sawhorse. Seems kind of random. You aren't using that as a hammer are you?


This thread was started at 12.49am on the 4th December 2009 by The Atheist.
Those of little faith & even less bottom said it would fade away.
As of today, there have been 1,578 contributions & the baby appears to be in robust health.
The early 10 pages covered the subjects: beer, rugby, tennis babes, surfer babes, marking out ones territory, Chuck Norris movies, tools, boobs, butts, flatulance & fishing.
The last 10 pages covered: exfoliating, body hair loss, tea, haggis, The Atheist contributing hair for charity, beer, The Ashes & swine flu.
A definate sign of maturing from all concerned!

Whoops. 2008 !

You left out the dry dung fire kindling.

Gilliatt

[The Atheist]

Looking good.
Going back to the first photo, I noticed the footwear on the sawhorse. Seems kind of random. You aren't using that as a hammer are you?

Grade 1 wasp-swatter.

We have a plague of them.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Grade 1 wasp-swatter.

We have a plague of them.

Any further progress on the playhouse?

We have our share of wasps too. This past weekend I eliminated three nests out of the kids fort in the woods.

[The Atheist]

Any further progress on the playhouse?

We have our share of wasps too. This past weekend I eliminated three nests out of the kids fort in the woods.

Not much progress, unfortunately.

It was supposed to get finished on Sunday, but it poured with rain and since then I've been flat out working. This weekend at the latest.

[prendrelemick]

It seems like we English chaps have a charitable streak towards those less fortunate Austrailians. Now that we have regained the Ashes, our sense of fair play has come to the fore. We have done the decent thing and lost the one day series in spectacular fashion. Well, it means so much to them, its the least we could do.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

It seems like we English chaps have a charitable streak towards those less fortunate Austrailians. Now that we have regained the Ashes, our sense of fair play has come to the fore. We have done the decent thing and lost the one day series in spectacular fashion. Well, it means so much to them, its the least we could do.

Sounds like sporting talk. Cricket by chance? Ashes? I'll do a little investigating myself.
Over here it is fall and that means one thing; football (the oblong kind).
The Dallas Cowboys are playing their first home game in the brand new stadium which is being qouined as the "Death Star".

[The Atheist]

It seems like we English chaps have a charitable streak towards those less fortunate Austrailians. Now that we have regained the Ashes, our sense of fair play has come to the fore. We have done the decent thing and lost the one day series in spectacular fashion. Well, it means so much to them, its the least we could do.

I noticed that.

I presume the chaps were still hung over. ODI must be near its use-by date with the introduction of 20/20.


Sounds like sporting talk. Cricket by chance? Ashes? I'll do a little investigating myself.

Start here:

http://www.cricinfo.com/


Over here it is fall and that means one thing;...

Swine 'flu.


...football (the oblong kind).
The Dallas Cowboys are playing their first home game in the brand new stadium which is being qouined as the "Death Star".

Why do you call it football when almost the entire game is played with ball in or passed by, hand?

I admit that's one hoopy stadium.

_______________________________________


Uploading photos shortly....

Ok, here's the almost-completed playhouse.

Apparently it's a treehouse, despite the lack of a tree. Accordingly, you'll note the tree in the background which is about to be attached to the treehouse.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/IMG_1534.jpg

And for those who magnificently donated to the excellent cause of helping drought-stricken Kenyan water supplies, here's the result of the shaving!

(Warning for small children and those with weak stomachs!)















http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/IMG_1535.jpg

[prendrelemick]

great picture Atheist! (snigger)


I found this specially for Gilliat.


You have two sides: One out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in, goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs,
That's the end of the game.

Simple, huh? ;

Of course in proper cricket it isn't the end of the game you repeat the whole thing again. Unless there is a follow on, then the team that is out, stays in, and the team that has been out stays out.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Ok, here's the almost-completed playhouse...

...here's the result of the shaving!

(Warning for small children and those with weak stomachs!)



You are a brave man! Nice mug and playhouse.



great picture Atheist! (snigger)

I found this specially for Gilliat.

You have two sides: One out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in, goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs,
That's the end of the game.

Simple, huh? ;



Well...uh... I uh... think I'm just begininning to come to grips with this Cricket.
I now understand that the "Ashes" is the term used for the series played between England and Australia apparently derived from the ashes of burned balls (that sounds uncomfortable) in a terra cotta ash urn.

Gilliatt

[The Atheist]

Well...uh... I uh... think I'm just begininning to come to grips with this Cricket.
I now understand that the "Ashes" is the term used for the series played between England and Australia apparently derived from the ashes of burned balls (that sounds uncomfortable) in a terra cotta ash urn.

Gilliatt

It's actually the ash of one stump which was burnt to signify the death of English cricket. It's also probably the world's smallest sporting trophy.

[The Atheist]

Just as well nobody watches that horrible one-day cricket.

[prendrelemick]

Looks like both of our Nations representative teams will be going through to the next stage, in South Africa.

Well played sah!

[jocky]

Looks like both of our Nations representative teams will be going through to the next stage, in South Africa.

Well played sah!

Your not nations, your abominations. The bad news is jocky's back, the good news is, there is no good news. Standards are slipping Atheist when mere Texans think they can take over. The 50cc Vespa remark has not gone unnoticed. Hey, what about the Tsunami? I waited up all night to see if N.Z. was going down, what a bummer! Did you miss me Prend? :lol:


great picture Atheist! (snigger)


I found this specially for Gilliat.


You have two sides: One out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in, goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs,
That's the end of the game.

Simple, huh? ;

Of course in proper cricket it isn't the end of the game you repeat the whole thing again. Unless there is a follow on, then the team that is out, stays in, and the team that has been out stays out.

A perfect explanation of the unexplainable, there is genius afoot here! ;)


You are a brave man! Nice mug and playhouse.




Well...uh... I uh... think I'm just begininning to come to grips with this Cricket.
I now understand that the "Ashes" is the term used for the series played between England and Australia apparently derived from the ashes of burned balls (that sounds uncomfortable) in a terra cotta ash urn.

Gilliatt

There is ,of course, another meaning attached to the Ashes, it sometimes refers to what's left of countries who Dubya and his old man dont like. This can be left to entymologists and historians for future debate. Is it true that Ozzy pissed in the Alamo? We are going through changes :lol:

[The Atheist]

Hey, what about the Tsunami? I waited up all night to see if N.Z. was going down, what a bummer!

There was actually a tsunami warning issued.

Everyone went to the beach to watch it, but it had gone after 3000 miles of ocean.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... The bad news is jocky's back, the good news is, there is no good news. Standards are slipping Atheist when mere Texans think they can take over. The 50cc Vespa remark has not gone unnoticed...

... This can be left to entymologists and historians for future debate. Is it true that Ozzy pissed in the Alamo? We are going through changes :lol:

Great Scott; Jocky is back !!
I was afraid my seamstress comment may have been the last straw.

RE: Ozzy - yes, it is true that he soiled sacred ground and was soon followed by the bat head incident. (or was it a chicken head?).

[jocky]

Looks like both of our Nations representative teams will be going through to the next stage, in South Africa.

Well played sah!

One down one to go. :lol::lol::lol:

[jocky]

As my old sergeant major said to me: ' Jocky you are going nowhere in life ' He was Nostrodamus like in his foresight, a week later I got posted to England. ' We are as flies to the Gods '.

[Michael T]

There was actually a tsunami warning issued.

Everyone went to the beach to watch it

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[jocky]

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

There is no arguing with good old New Zealand common sense. Come on kids lets go and watch the Tsunami. ;)

[Scheherazade]

Why not?

English still agree to play cricket matches with other countries' teams, don't they?

;)

[jocky]

Let me state unequivocably, I take no pleasure in watching my neighbours getting thrashed and humiliated by their criminal anscestors. Some in my country may be doubled over in laughter, but Jocky is above this. Honesty is my watchword. :)


Why not?

English still agree to play cricket matches with other countries' teams, don't they?

;)

Not any more.

Atheist this is just a flavour of what is to come. You had better pray to all the Gods you dont believe in that your lot dont get their asses whipped by Pakistan tomorrow. Mind you, better that than getting humped by your Antipodean neighbours in the final. Life just doesnt get any better than this. :)

[prendrelemick]

I have nothing to say.:mad:

[The Atheist]

Why not?

English still agree to play cricket matches with other countries' teams, don't they?

;)

Very cool new avatar. We had some orcas in Auckland harbour a few weeks back, which just happened to coincide with the kids having a day off school.

I took a guess at where they would end up while we drove 30 minutes to the water and stopped at a beachfront in an estuary.

Right on cue, about 2 minutes after we arrvied, six of the came into the water right in front of us. They were hunting stingrays and came to within 100 feet of the beach.

Outstanding.


Let me state unequivocably, I take no pleasure in watching my neighbours getting thrashed and humiliated by their criminal anscestors. Some in my country may be doubled over in laughter, but Jocky is above this. Honesty is my watchword. :)

Mate, I'll drink to your sadness.

Your honesty is touching. It must be hell when Scotland plays England at something, you're heartbroken whoever loses.


Atheist this is just a flavour of what is to come. You had better pray to all the Gods you dont believe in that your lot dont get their asses whipped by Pakistan tomorrow. Mind you, better that than getting humped by your Antipodean neighbours in the final. Life just doesnt get any better than this. :)

61/2 chasing 233. Very much in the balance.


I have nothing to say.:mad:

Just think of that little jug with the ash in it and you'll be fine for the next 10-15 years.

[jocky]

Great Scott; Jocky is back !!
I was afraid my seamstress comment may have been the last straw.

RE: Ozzy - yes, it is true that he soiled sacred ground and was soon followed by the bat head incident. (or was it a chicken head?).

Gilliatt, a piece of sage advice from old Jocky. Read the forum rules, fowl language is not tolerated in this thread. ;)






61/2 chasing 233. Very much in the balance.





Would you believe it you won? I had plans for you this week and they are now in tatters. Atheist if you fell in a bucket of crap you would come out smelling of roses. If you win this tournament there must be hope for Scotland yet.


I have nothing to say.:mad:

Silence is golden. :lol:

Guys, did I ever tell you about the time I was nearly awarded the Victoria Cross ? I accidentaly shot the company cook. The whole company signed a petition demanding I should be awarded the highest accolade the army could award, even the cook signed it when he eventually recovered from his horrendous injury. There was much deliberation amongst the top brass but sadly it was not to be. What swung it against me was the cook's wife's complaint that I had shot him in the groin and her life was ruined. Gentlemen, there is a fine dividing line between success and failure in this world. Still Jocky V.C. has a nice ring to it.

[The Atheist]

Would you believe it you won? I had plans for you this week and they are now in tatters. Atheist if you fell in a bucket of crap you would come out smelling of roses. If you win this tournament there must be hope for Scotland yet.

Amazingly, we have won this tournament a few years back.

Only thing we ever did win, although I'm told we had a tiddlywinks champ some time ago. I think we did rather well at Scrabble as well.

[jocky]

Amazingly, we have won this tournament a few years back.

Only thing we ever did win, although I'm told we had a tiddlywinks champ some time ago. I think we did rather well at Scrabble as well.

Tiddlywinks and Scrabble should never be underestimated, they are indications of a resolute national identity. Where would the British Empire be without these characteristics ? I digress, you are still not off the hook yet, only victory against the Aussies will redeem you. As to your Orca tale, you might fool Schezherhadze but Jocky is not convinced. I could ask for witness testimony and photographic evidence, but I will not push the issue. Have you heard from farmer Prendrelemick lately? Maybe he saw ' something nasty in the woodshed ' :lol:

[prendrelemick]

I did, No wood! Not even cold comfort there.

In the meantime, a traditional Anglo Saxon message of encouragement to our antipodean brothers:-

KERRRMONNNN YOUUU KEEEEWEEEES!

[The Atheist]

Tiddlywinks and Scrabble should never be underestimated, they are indications of a resolute national identity. Where would the British Empire be without these characteristics ? I digress, you are still not off the hook yet, only victory against the Aussies will redeem you. As to your Orca tale, you might fool Schezherhadze but Jocky is not convinced. I could ask for witness testimony and photographic evidence, but I will not push the issue. Have you heard from farmer Prendrelemick lately? Maybe he saw ' something nasty in the woodshed ' :lol:

I was thinking about you earlier.

In the "why celibacy is good" thread.

I think you provide proof of the proposition.

;)


I did, No wood! Not even cold comfort there.

In the meantime, a traditional Anglo Saxon message of encouragement to our antipodean brothers:-

KERRRMONNNN YOUUU KEEEEWEEEES!

Yeah!

We beat Aussie every 20 years or so and we're just about due...

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... What swung it against me was the cook's wife's complaint that I had shot him in the groin and her life was ruined. Gentlemen, there is a fine dividing line between success and failure in this world. Still Jocky V.C. has a nice ring to it.


I was thinking about you earlier.

In the "why celibacy is good" thread.

I think you provide proof of the proposition.

It may be too late for jocky, but it would seem that the cook is now celibate. Not sure which is more humiliating; having them shot off or cremated and toted around in a terra cotta ash urn?


I did, No wood! Not even cold comfort there.

No wood? No worries! - Don’t forget about that fine substitute we’ve discussed and if the old lady dosn't like it; send her to the woodshed.

[jocky]

I was thinking about you earlier.

In the "why celibacy is good" thread.

I think you provide proof of the proposition.

;)



Mmm, brains or sex. I choose fornication.

[jocky]

Atheist I know you feel like you have been kicked very hard in the goolies at this moment in time, but life has its little consolations. If there had been a trophy for the ugliest looking team in the tournament New Zealand would have won it hands down. I thought I would just cheer you up. Boomerangs cant reach Scotland can they? :)

[The Atheist]

Atheist I know you feel like you have been kicked very hard in the goolies at this moment in time, but life has its little consolations. If there had been a trophy for the ugliest looking team in the tournament New Zealand would have won it hands down. I thought I would just cheer you up. Boomerangs cant reach Scotland can they? :)

Mate, if you think they're bad, you should check out our rugby team!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/rugby_union/article5730001.ece#

Is it any wonder that Kiwi women go to UK and come back with British husbands?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Boys,

It's time you wish me a happy birthday !

The first round of Wild Wurzel's is on me!
(not sure why it didn't show up on LitNet-must not of entered my B-day on the profile)

I had the old lady fetch me a bottle and some cider.

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/IMG_1288.jpg

[jocky]

Boys,

It's time you wish me a happy birthday !

The first round of Wild Wurzel's is on me!
(not sure why it didn't show up on LitNet-must not of entered my B-day on the profile)

I had the old lady fetch me a bottle and some cider.



Many happy returns Gilliat , P-38s, Bourbon and Cider could get you into serious trouble. Your Missus sounds like a real trooper.


Mate, if you think they're bad, you should check out our rugby team!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/rugby_union/article5730001.ece#

Is it any wonder that Kiwi women go to UK and come back with British husbands?

The website didnt work Atheist but I am more than happy to believe you on this one. :lol:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Many happy returns Gilliat , P-38s, Bourbon and Cider could get you into serious trouble. Your Missus sounds like a real trooper.

Thanks a lot jocky and yes she is. That glass was for my father.

Atheist,
Your website made it as far as Texas-quite funny.
Dubya must have had the signal scrammbled as it headed over the pond.

[jocky]

Thanks a lot jocky and yes she is. That glass was for my father.



Did your old man fly one of these things? Hats off to him if he did as they were considered to be aeronautical deathtraps. Lets raise our glasses to fathers, where would we be without them? :)


I did, No wood! Not even cold comfort there.

In the meantime, a traditional Anglo Saxon message of encouragement to our antipodean brothers:-

KERRRMONNNN YOUUU KEEEEWEEEES!

Quick spot of the literary connection Prend. Now for the Celtic Scoto message: COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YOUR HARD ENOUGH. I can be found In Papua New Guinea in the Headhunters Tavern. :)

[The Atheist]

Boys,

It's time you wish me a happy birthday !

The first round of Wild Wurzel's is on me!

Happy birthday!


The website didnt work Atheist but I am more than happy to believe you on this one. :lol:

Hmmm.

Try this:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/haka.jpg

[jocky]

Happy birthday!



Hmmm.

Try this:



There is no arguing with that Athiest, you Kiwis are scary guys. I can see why all your women are fleeing the country for us handsome Brits. That nearly put me off my porrige. :)

[prendrelemick]

Happy birthday!



Hmmm.

Try this:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/haka.jpg


^Its fun to stay at the WHYYY .M .C. A. :lol:


Happy Birthday GG, wishing you many happy landings.

[The Atheist]

Actually, that's a flattering photo of them as well. A couple of the present ones have been banned from entering USA on the basis that they will give rise to sasquatch rumours.

[Modigliani]

Kamate, kamate kaora!
Sorry. I couldn't resist. Many happy returns, Mr Kiwi.
I'm outta here before I start inadvertently effacing stereotypes.
Carry on, gentlemen.

[Niamh]

Boys,

It's time you wish me a happy birthday !

The first round of Wild Wurzel's is on me!
(not sure why it didn't show up on LitNet-must not of entered my B-day on the profile)

I had the old lady fetch me a bottle and some cider.

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/IMG_1288.jpg

Happy birthday Gilliatt!!!! :D

[The Atheist]

Kamate, kamate kaora!
Sorry. I couldn't resist. Many happy returns, Mr Kiwi.
I'm outta here before I start inadvertently effacing stereotypes.
Carry on, gentlemen.

Excellent work!

(except it's GG's b'day, not mine)

[jocky]

Excellent work!

(except it's GG's b'day, not mine)

Mogdliani obviously did not capture the subtle shades of this thread. It is all down to the chiaroscuro. Vasari will be turning in his grave. The lives of artists, I dont know Atheist, what is the World coming to. :)

Gilliatt, where are you? Birthday parties are never a good idea. What with all that booze and sentiment you might have got behind the controls of the P-38 and tailspinned into Dubya's ranch. The Blokes thread will support you whatever the outcome. Never let it be said that Jocky would let his mates down, apart from Kiwis and Yorkshiremen. :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Jocky,

I'm still here and feeling fine, or at least now I am after last night and thanks all for the well wishes.
The missus made up a mess of fajitas and I washed it down with a wild wurzel which turned out to be a letahl mix and sent me to the guest room for the remainder of the night.

About the Lightning; yes my father flew the P-38 in the Pacific and your are right the earlier models had a problem with compressibility in extended dives. The problem was solved with hydraulic dive flaps in starting with the "J" model and the lightning came into its own.

Gilliatt

[jocky]

Jocky,



About the Lightning; yes my father flew the P-38 in the Pacific and your are right the earlier models had a problem with compressibility in extended dives. The problem was solved with hydraulic dive flaps in starting with the "J" model and the lightning came into its own.

Gilliatt

This is a bit of shot in the dark but was your father Major Signa A Gilke who test piloted the lightening? If he was you have a lot to live up to.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

This is a bit of shot in the dark but was your father Major Signa A Gilke who test piloted the lightening? If he was you have a lot to live up to.

jocky,
No, in fact my father arrived in the Pacific toward the end of the war and started flying the Lightning well after the bugs had been ironed out. He flew the later "J" and "L" models in mop up ground support and "keep the peace" sorties. The air war was over for all intents and purposes when he arrived.
Still had a lot to live up to though.

[jocky]

Guys, Soundsofmusic is having a raincoat party to which me and Atheist are graciously invited. I would advise you all to get in touch with her quickly and look out your best macs if you want an invite. Dont miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity? ;)


Actually, that's a flattering photo of them as well. A couple of the present ones have been banned from entering USA on the basis that they will give rise to sasquatch rumours.

What you dont believe in Sasquatch? Next thing you will be telling us is you dont believe in the tooth fairy. It is one thing not to believe in God or Gods but quite another to reject Area 51. This is atheism gone wild, you had better read your Richard Dawkins again. To be a strong Atheist means rejecting all Gods completely, almost, but never, I repeat never to reject the undivine supernatural. Next thing you will be telling me is the Loch Ness monster is a figment of my imagination, me who almost saw it. :mad:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

jocky,

I’m having trouble keeping up; first an Austrian governess in a slicker and now bigfoot.
Aye, I can hear the sweet voice of that governess now…”The hills are alive with the sound of Bigfoot” Bigfoot is quite popular here in Texas. There have been numerous documented sightings mostly as a result of the extreme heat and beer.

Here is a “missing link” if you will, to a site that you might find amusing:

http://www.texasbigfoot.org/

Take a look at the sitings map to the right on the page.

Gilliatt

[jocky]

jocky,

I’m having trouble keeping up; first an Austrian governess in a slicker and now bigfoot.
Aye, I can hear the sweet voice of that governess now…”The hills are alive with the sound of Bigfoot” Bigfoot is quite popular here in Texas. There have been numerous documented sightings mostly as a result of the extreme heat and beer.

Here is a “missing link” if you will, to a site that you might find amusing:

http://www.texasbigfoot.org/

Take a look at the sitings map to the right on the page.

Gilliatt

You might have told me earlier Gilliat, now I have missed the Texas Bigfoot conference and they have missed all that experience I had to bring. I did look to the right and saw the bigfoot hunters. They make the All Blacks look handsome. You live and learn mate, live and learn:)

[The Atheist]

Still had a lot to live up to though.

Don't we all, mate!

Makes it pretty easy to figure why a good male role model is a useful thing in life.


Guys, Soundsofmusic is having a raincoat party to which me and Atheist are graciously invited. I would advise you all to get in touch with her quickly and look out your best macs if you want an invite. Dont miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity? ;)

Uhh...

I'm sure they have some Japanese porn sites which cater to your needs.


What you dont believe in Sasquatch? Next thing you will be telling us is you dont believe in the tooth fairy. It is one thing not to believe in God or Gods but quite another to reject Area 51. This is atheism gone wild, you had better read your Richard Dawkins again. To be a strong Atheist means rejecting all Gods completely, almost, but never, I repeat never to reject the undivine supernatural. Next thing you will be telling me is the Loch Ness monster is a figment of my imagination, me who almost saw it. :mad:

No, I believe in sasquatch ok.

I have a very good friend who has incontrovertible evidence that it exists.

In fact, the site that Gilliatt links to even shows one crossing the road!

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/bigfoot.jpg

Amazing. I never knew they moved south as far as Texas. Next they'll be finding them in New Zealand.

Cyptozoology is a great subject. I'm very excited about the latest find:

http://nzcryptozoology.ucoz.com/news/2009-08-15-14

I know quite a lot about "Oour Nessie" as well.

[jocky]

Uhh...

I'm sure they have some Japanese porn sites which cater to your needs.





Which one would you recommend. ;)








http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/bigfoot.jpg



If that doesn't silence the doubters once and for all I dont know what will. :lol:




I know quite a lot about "Oour Nessie" as well.

I might have bloody known it !

Prendrelemick this will cheer you up no end. Picture the scene, a packed M.E.N. arena in Manchester two totally commited sides and a real opportunity to put one over on New Zealand, and guess what you won. England have beaten the Kiwis at last, you are now officially the top dogs. It was a close run affair but you prevailed 24-21, let no one underestimate this historical triumph for your FEMALE NETBALL TEAM. Atheist if its any consolation, your team were better looking than the All Blacks, marginally. Well done Mick. :D :D :D.

[The Atheist]

Prendrelemick this will cheer you up no end. Picture the scene, a packed M.E.N. arena in Manchester two totally commited sides and a real opportunity to put one over on New Zealand, and guess what you won. England have beaten the Kiwis at last, you are now officially the top dogs. It was a close run affair but you prevailed 24-21, let no one underestimate this historical triumph for your FEMALE NETBALL TEAM. Atheist if its any consolation, your team were better looking than the All Blacks, marginally. Well done Mick. :D :D :D.

Did you get to see the Jamaican team?

That Romalda Aiken could certainly [censored by management]

She is bloody gorgeous, as is the Aussie skipper, Sharelle McMahon.

Now that brings to mind thoughts of Romalda Aiken and Sharelle McMahon...

[jocky]

Did you get to see the Jamaican team?

That Romalda Aiken could certainly [censored by management]

She is bloody gorgeous, as is the Aussie skipper, Sharelle McMahon.

Now that brings to mind thoughts of Romalda Aiken and Sharelle McMahon...

I am keeping out of this one Atheist, that Three Sparrows might be watching and we could be in big trouble. :lol::lol::lol:

[soundofmusic]

OK. Alan, I am opening two
http://www.jacktherippers.de/cms/spaw2/uploads/images/Erdinger.jpg

and would like to ask you who you consider as the prettiest women tennis player?
Is it

http://www.topnews.in/sports/files/Maria-Sharapova3.jpg

or maybe

http://thetennistimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/maria-kirilienko.jpg

or maybe

http://selva4u.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/annaivanovich18.jpg

???

:lol: Sorry to interupt guys, just flew in from the girls forum and they were having a quilting bee: May I suggest you do a little photo shopping with the tennis lasses. Take the chest of the first, the hair from the second and the hips and legs from the last. Give the mixture that tall beer and you'll have a lovely date:ladysman:

[prendrelemick]

:lol: Take the chest of the first, the hair from the second and the hips and legs from the last. Give the mixture that tall beer and you'll have a lovely date:ladysman:

Apart from all that grunting.

[soundofmusic]

Apart from all that grunting.

:confused: Do ladies "grunt" in the UK; we delightfully moan in the states:lol:

[MANICHAEAN]

No they lie back and say; "Oh George what a lovely ceiling"

[skib]

Ceiling texture is always a great conversation topic in my bedroom, for sure.

[soundofmusic]

What do the ladies say when you join them in the shower?:ladysman:

[prendrelemick]

Gerrout!

[soundofmusic]

I don't know, I'm not one for laying under the beast where it may fall on me.
I like to keep it right between my honches where I can, at least, feign control:lol:


Bah, every time I come in here, that girly, "No Boys Allowed" thread is somewhere near the top. God knows what goes on in there - probably the typical girlie stuff about love, babies, quiche, who has a crush on whom and those things no Real Bloke [TM] would ever stoop to discuss.


First off - beer is possibly the best chance christians have of proving a god exists. How something so beautiful - when made properly, which doesn't mean in some gigantic factory
:D

I hear the women are all plotting to break into the bloke forum; shall I stand right outside your locker room and protect you?

I've heard, from private sources, that the best beer is made over prison toilets with moldy bread and fruit juice.:lol:

[prendrelemick]

No they lie back and say; "Oh George what a lovely ceiling"



To which I reply. George ??:mad:


:confused: Do ladies "grunt" in the UK; we delightfully moan in the states:lol:


Only when hitting the balls very hard.

[soundofmusic]

Only when hitting the balls very hard.[/QUOTE]

:confused: Tennis balls?


I am keeping out of this one Atheist, we could be in big trouble. :lol::lol::lol:

:flare: Poor jocky, is that naughty Atheist trying to get your pious Scottish personage in trouble (but, you know, he does add zest to the party)
I shouldn't worry too much, birds can never stay in one place very long given their insatiable desire to feast on the biggest, juiciest worms:p

[jocky]

:flare: Poor jocky, is that naughty Atheist trying to get your pious Scottish personage in trouble

That is so spooky! A disembodied voice whispered in my ear: Jocky, Jocky you need to attend church this Sunday. I did, and got no spiritual consolation whatsover, however I am five thousand quid richer as I nicked the lead off the Kirk spire. The lord works in mysterious ways. Do I need to sacrifice a goat or something ? :)

[The Atheist]

That is so spooky! A disembodied voice whispered in my ear: Jocky, Jocky you need to attend church this Sunday. I did, and got no spiritual consolation whatsover, however I am five thousand quid richer as I nicked the lead off the Kirk spire. The lord works in mysterious ways. Do I need to sacrifice a goat or something ? :)

Five grand sterling?

Two goats and a ram, I should think.

[soundofmusic]

That is so spooky! A disembodied voice whispered in my ear: Jocky, Jocky you need to attend church this Sunday. I did, and got no spiritual consolation whatsover, however I am five thousand quid richer as I nicked the lead off the Kirk spire. The lord works in mysterious ways. Do I need to sacrifice a goat or something ? :)

:lol: Wait, Wait, I'm sure you didn't listen long enough to that disembodied voice; I'm sure it said, "Jocky, my lad, I'm blessing you with 5'000 quid so you can send it to that lovely lass across the Atlantic:banana::banana:


Five grand sterling?

Two goats and a ram, I should think.

:lol: Now see, Atheist, You were hearing that through a warp in time where somebody, I forgot who, was supposed to gold electroplate their goat and worship it :lol:

[jocky]

Five grand sterling?

Two goats and a ram, I should think.

And where prithee am I going to steal them from at this time of night? I can get a couple of hamsters, but the kids will be heartbroken. What ever happened to the good old forgiving God from the mission days? :)

[jocky]

[QUOTE=soundofmusic;790004] I'm sure it said, "Jocky, my lad, I'm blessing you with 5'000 quid so you can send it to that lovely lass across the Atlantic:banana::banana:

Soundo I am sure everyone in planet Britain will tell you that Scots and their money are not easily parted. I barely escaped the credit crunch by hiding my gold where no one would ever find it. Unfortunately I hid it so well I cant find it myself. Could anyone lend me a tenner to feed the kids, as the looks they are giving me are piteous to behold. :cold:

[soundofmusic]

[QUOTE=soundofmusic;790004] I'm sure it said, "Jocky, my lad, I'm blessing you with 5'000 quid so you can send it to that lovely lass across the Atlantic:banana::banana:

Soundo I am sure everyone in planet Britain will tell you that Scots and their money are not easily parted. I barely escaped the credit crunch by hiding my gold where no one would ever find it. Unfortunately I hid it so well I cant find it myself. Could anyone lend me a tenner to feed the kids, as the looks they are giving me are piteous to behold. :cold:

:lol: Jocky, you sly dog, we all know your wife has bags full of money; Gracious, an important job and the bingo winnings...Did you look under the mattress cover?

[The Atheist]

And where prithee am I going to steal them from at this time of night? I can get a couple of hamsters, but the kids will be heartbroken. What ever happened to the good old forgiving God from the mission days? :)

Can you scratch up a couple of chickens instead?

If not, putting already dead ones in the oven and eating the flesh to the glory of some entity or other might work.

Especially with stuffing.

[jocky]

Can you scratch up a couple of chickens instead?

If not, putting already dead ones in the oven and eating the flesh to the glory of some entity or other might work.

Especially with stuffing.

As usual Atheist I am grateful for your sage advice :) There is however an insurmountable problem, I haven't got a shilling for the meter. Do you think a couple of tins of sardines, on toast, the toaster is still working, would suffice? I know some Deities have problems with pork and poultry but surely a couple of silver fishes, liberally covered in tomato sauce would suffice. This idea of penitence is getting to be a real pain in the but. :)

[soundofmusic]

I hear the American God accepts Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in lieu of cash; except on Easter and Thanksgiving, which requires the sacrafice of some fowl or cloved foot creature:lol:

[prendrelemick]

have you thought of going into the wildlands of Kelvin Grove and bagging a brace of wild haggis,

[jocky]

have you thought of going into the wildlands of Kelvin Grove and bagging a brace of wild haggis,

I had a feeling you might hit me with that one Mick! The latest historical research by Catherine Brown shows the earliest reference to haggis is to be found in the ENGLISH HUS WIFE published in 1615. This predates Burns' ADDRESS TO A HAGGIS by 171 years. So unless you can come up with evidence to the contrary haggis is officially English and your race is guilty of perpetuating the worst atrocity to be inflicted against humanity. :lol::lol::lol:


I hear the American God accepts Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in lieu of cash; except on Easter and Thanksgiving, which requires the sacrafice of some fowl or cloved foot creature:lol:

The complexity and diversity of Gods and their tastes never ceases to amaze me. The one thing they all seem to have in common is their propensity for being greedy S.O.Bs. :)

[soundofmusic]

The complexity and diversity of Gods and their tastes never ceases to amaze me. The one thing they all seem to have in common is their propensity for being greedy S.O.Bs. :)

:cold: Help us all, Jocky just brought the angry hands of God on all of us; look to the sky man, I think I see the 2nd coming, and what is at his side...why it's three angry birds:lol::lol::lol:

[jocky]

have you thought of going into the wildlands of Kelvin Grove and bagging a brace of wild haggis,

Plural, Haggii my friend, Haggii. It is an interesting proposition though, killing a couple of mythological creatures to appease a mythological God. If I ever have to go hunting in the wildlands of Kelvin Grove the bankers will have cause to regret it, or my name is not Jocky. :)


:cold: Help us all, Jocky.why it's three angry birds:lol::lol::lol:

The ThreeSparrows problem is solved, Atheist sorted that out big time as I knew he would. :lol:

[soundofmusic]

The ThreeSparrows problem is solved, Atheist sorted that out big time as I knew he would. :lol:

:banana: So does that mean my birthday party's back on:bday_2: The original crowd have all gone pious on me:bawling:; but, I think I have a line on those two blonde athletes Atheist so admired. Maybe they'll jump out of a cake or smack a few balls around, or whatever hot female athletes do....:ladysman:

[prendrelemick]

Can I come? I've just about recovered from last Christmas, -

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/celeb020.jpg

and am up for another session.:brow:

[The Atheist]

As usual Atheist I am grateful for your sage advice :) There is however an insurmountable problem, I haven't got a shilling for the meter. Do you think a couple of tins of sardines, on toast, the toaster is still working, would suffice? I know some Deities have problems with pork and poultry but surely a couple of silver fishes, liberally covered in tomato sauce would suffice. This idea of penitence is getting to be a real pain in the but. :)

Ahh, do they still make MacConnachies Herrings in Tomato Sauce?

They were divine, so they'd be good and you don't even need a toaster!


Can I come? I've just about recovered from last Christmas, -

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/celeb020.jpg

and am up for another session.:brow:

:lol:

Jeez, I hope you manage to sleep that off in the next two months.

[jocky]

Can I come? I've just about recovered from last Christmas, -

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/celeb020.jpg

and am up for another session.:brow:

:lol:

How many times have you been warned to stay away from the Bay Horse in Tunstall ? The last time my son in law went there for a quiet pint he ended up in a boat headed for the Faroe Isles dressed up as an Apache squaw, with arrows in his *** for effect. :)


Ahh, do they still make MacConnachies Herrings in Tomato Sauce?







Sadly not Atheist, you have brought a tear to my eye as I remember those days when me and Denise sipped cheap cider followed by a couple of kippers between divinity lectures. Happy days :)

You will love this one Atheist. Three University Professors of the supernatural came in to explain transubstantiation, they were dressed up for the occasion and looking suitably scary. They came mobhanded just in case some dullard might question them. They explained the body and the blood of Christ at the appointed moment of mass. There was a singular silence, which seemed to go on forever, until some idiot, I forget who, told them to get to f**k. They left in a hurry and one of their number was heard to say ' whatever happened to the good Samaritans ' ? :D

[soundofmusic]

Can I come? I've just about recovered from last Christmas, -

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/celeb020.jpg

and am up for another session.:brow:

:banana::bday_2: Maybe we'll just celebrate until Christmas:santasmil; Sure you're invited .:nod: We're interviewing for entertainment; what do you think would make all the gents and lasses smile? :lol:


:lol:

How many times have you been warned to stay away from the Bay Horse in Tunstall ? The last time my son in law went there for a quiet pint he ended up in a boat headed for the Faroe Isles dressed up as an Apache squaw, with arrows in his *** for effect. :)

:goof: I just invited prendrelemick to our party; do you think he can borrow your son-in-laws squall outfit; That santa hat was getting alittle seedy and snug:lol: I see you're in fine form tonight; is Neely badly injured? :eek2: By the way, all the girls are insisting you wear your kilt to the party.

[jocky]

Listen all, Jocky has got to leave for a wee while as matters of great import to national security are calling. In the words of General MacArthur I will return, hopefully. :)

[The Atheist]

Sadly not Atheist, you have brought a tear to my eye as I remember those days when me and Denise sipped cheap cider followed by a couple of kippers between divinity lectures. Happy days :)

That's a greater disaster than Torrey Canyon!


You will love this one Atheist. Three University Professors of the supernatural came in to explain transubstantiation, they were dressed up for the occasion and looking suitably scary. They came mobhanded just in case some dullard might question them. They explained the body and the blood of Christ at the appointed moment of mass. There was a singular silence, which seemed to go on forever, until some idiot, I forget who, told them to get to f**k. They left in a hurry and one of their number was heard to say ' whatever happened to the good Samaritans ' ? :D

:lol:

I love transubstantiation. You can taste the wine turning to blood on the way paste.

Either that, or I bit my tongue at the crap they serve in the RCC.


:banana::bday_2: Maybe we'll just celebrate until Christmas:santasmil; Sure you're invited .:nod: We're interviewing for entertainment; what do you think would make all the gents and lasses smile? :lol:

Party till Xmas, I like it!

I'll get Parker to lay supplies in at once!

[soundofmusic]

Guys, did I ever tell you about the time I was nearly awarded the Victoria Cross ? I accidentaly shot the company cook. The whole company signed a petition demanding I should be awarded the highest accolade the army could award, even the cook signed it when he eventually recovered from his horrendous injury. There was much deliberation amongst the top brass but sadly it was not to be. What swung it against me was the cook's wife's complaint that I had shot him in the groin and her life was ruined. Gentlemen, there is a fine dividing line between success and failure in this world. Still Jocky V.C. has a nice ring to it.

:eek: Jocky, just saw this old post, I never realized you were a hero: thumbs_up; was the man's cooking that bad. :confused: Though, I really don't know what could be that bad; all this talk of herrings in tomato sauce:lol:

[The Atheist]

Though, I really don't know what could be that bad; all this talk of herrings in tomato sauce:lol:

Herrings in tomato sauce isn't just food, it's commestibly orgasmic!

Tins of herrings in tomato sauce is what created the entire British Empire.

How to beat up people who live 23 weeks travel away from you?

Take cans of nourishing food so you don't die of beriberi on the way there. Top of the nourishing food chain is H in TS. Vitamins, vegetables, protein, calcium... you could feed an army (or navy) on this stuff. And we did. Why do you think we use English on this forum? Ever see any French food in a can? Let's see you try to make a filet de boeuf en croute sandwich!

[soundofmusic]

Party till Xmas, I like it!

I'll get Parker to lay supplies in at once!

:banana: I knew I could count on Atheist the Great, Keeper of Justice and Killer of Birds and other small annoying things.:cool:
Do you want Brooke Shields at the party also? :bday_2: I don't know, she looks a little too lean; like she's on the exercise bike too long :rolleyes:; She may need you to send out for some fattening American food and good Atheist loving:brow:


Herrings in tomato sauce isn't just food, it's commestibly orgasmic!

Tins of herrings in tomato sauce is what created the entire British Empire.

How to beat up people who live 23 weeks travel away from you?

Take cans of nourishing food so you don't die of beriberi on the way there. Top of the nourishing food chain is H in TS. Vitamins, vegetables, protein, calcium... you could feed an army (or navy) on this stuff. And we did. Why do you think we use English on this forum? Ever see any French food in a can? Let's see you try to make a filet de boeuf en croute sandwich!

:brow: Well, perhaps we should begin to feed it to our men over here who are going impotent at 40:banana: Orgasmic, really, well maybe I can close my eyes, hold my nose and...No, don't think I can do it. :cold: Guess I'll just have to remain celibate and inorgasmic until the next 25 year old, tall, blond haired, blue eyed bloke falls in love with my wallet , :p:lol::ladysman:

[papayahed]

:brow: Well, perhaps we should begin to feed it to our men over here who are going impotent at 40:banana:

I think you maybe hanging out with the wrong crowd.

[soundofmusic]

I think you maybe hanging out with the wrong crowd.

:rolleyes: You know, papayahed, I've been wondering about that after meeting all of these hearty British folk...Anyway, my daughter tells me the men I like are all "women with....":wave:

[prendrelemick]

Think carefully before you invite Brooke to the party, you don't want Goji berry and Wheatgrass stains on the carpet.

As for entertainment, If Mr Jelly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IK-9l7F4QE&feature=related ) is unavailable, Jocky could do his world famous elephant impression.:eek:

[soundofmusic]

Think carefully before you invite Brooke to the party, you don't want Goji berry and Wheatgrass stains on the carpet.

As for entertainment, If Mr Jelly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IK-9l7F4QE&feature=related ) is unavailable, Jocky could do his world famous elephant impression.:eek:

:eek: Mick, you're starting to get scary:cold:; where do you find these things? Well, I was inviting Brooke for Atheist; I gave up all that breast feeding, making your own baby food talk years ago. It was hell:rage: My first husband was talking about cool stuff with the guys and I was being bored to tears with frightening stories of natural birth. :sick::redface::eek:
Fortunately, for the health food crowd and the alcoholics; we have tile is south florida; so no problem with mess:lol: Now tell me more about Jockys elephant impression:banana::banana:

[Michael T]

Is this still The Blokes Thread :brow:


http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/1508/boobiegirl100x100.gif


Ah... Thought so. ;)

[jocky]

Is this still The Blokes Thread :brow:


http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/1508/boobiegirl100x100.gif


Ah... Thought so. ;)

This thread used to be so simple and uncomplicated why cant we get back to simple values, fishing, hunting, beer, sandwiches and war? Thank you Mike for reminding us who we are and the video as it has sentimental value, there is nothing to beat a big pair of eyes. :)

[jocky]

Now guys, here is a tale that will send tingles down your spines. This is a story for men only, the theme being fishing. I was standing in the river Dee on Royal Deeside up to my neck in waders and I got a tug, it had to be at least a fourteen pound salmon. I will repeat for effect a FOURTEEN POUND SALMON. The battle was on and the gloves were off. Promises were made and broken, Gods were invoked and deals with Lucifer were done , Faustus didn't have a look in, there was much sweating and swearing. Day turned to night, thunder, lightening the net was in my hand and, would you believe it , the line broke ? It leapt about six feet in the air and I am sure it winked at me as it made its way back up river. I am at present suing the fishing tackle shop for ruining my life. Match that :)

[soundofmusic]

Is this still The Blokes Thread :brow:


http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/1508/boobiegirl100x100.gif


Ah... Thought so. ;)

:redface: :eek: :bday_2: Good, I knew the girls would come to my party to entertain the blokes! She's rather hypnotic...Of course, as a woman we can seldom appreciate the value of a good pair of pecs because we are having a deep discussion of whether they are silicone? Shouldn't she have brought a bikini so she can do the water show?:banana::banana:

[soundofmusic]

This thread used to be so simple and uncomplicated why cant we get back to simple values, fishing, hunting, beer, sandwiches and war? Thank you Mike for reminding us who we are and the video as it has sentimental value, there is nothing to beat a big pair of eyes. :)

:eek2: I think this thread changed when somebody, not naming any names here, on the blokes thread invited all the guys to my birthday party on the Celibacy thread...
:rolleyes: I don't know though, I think this is a :alien: taking over my really cool friend, jocky, that even has a Scottish brogue when he writes..'

[soundofmusic]

Think carefully before you invite Brooke to the party, you don't want Goji berry and Wheatgrass stains on the carpet.

As for entertainment, If Mr Jelly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IK-9l7F4QE&feature=related ) is unavailable, Jocky could do his world famous elephant impression.:eek:

:wave: Hey Mick, the guys need to get back their bloke thread spirit; do you have something to inspire them with?

[jocky]

:wave: Hey Mick, the guys need to get back their bloke thread spirit; do you have something to inspire them with?

Not that I am one for causing trouble Mick, but what have you got to say for yourself? I take full responsibiliy for the party invites, I am pretty sure rhere was a misprint somewhere. Did you notice every time there is trouble on this thread, Atheist is never to be seen? I stopped the elephant act years ago just after I asked the wife , what do you think ? She replied, I never really noticed and I have told you never to bother me when I am watching Coronation Street. :)

[The Atheist]

Now guys, here is a tale that will send tingles down your spines. This is a story for men only, the theme being fishing. I was standing in the river Dee on Royal Deeside up to my neck in waders and I got a tug, it had to be at least a fourteen pound salmon. I will repeat for effect a FOURTEEN POUND SALMON. The battle was on and the gloves were off. Promises were made and broken, Gods were invoked and deals with Lucifer were done , Faustus didn't have a look in, there was much sweating and swearing. Day turned to night, thunder, lightening the net was in my hand and, would you believe it , the line broke ? It leapt about six feet in the air and I am sure it winked at me as it made its way back up river. I am at present suing the fishing tackle shop for ruining my life. Match that :)

I'm crying for you.

That's a horror story.


:eek2: I think this thread changed when somebody, not naming any names here, on the blokes thread invited all the guys to my birthday party on the Celibacy thread...

Birthday parties and celibacy....

Not really compatible subjects.

[gbrekken]

A REAL Blake would've even stopped to smell the roses, an perhaps write about a lamb, and separately, a lion. Regarding ale. Don't know if this compares at all. Once uponatime I drank a hefeveisen (probalby spelled wron), and least that was what it was called.

Once, t'other time, I drank a fairly local, apricot and wheat beer. It wasn't any Belgian Blue Moon..

'Nuther time I drank Guiness.

Re-read the first two sentences.
I hope I'm actually registering on-lince. Don't quite get all this yet.

5555555555
a real blake would've even stopped to smell the roses, an perhaps write about a lamb, and separately, a lion. Regarding ale. Don't know if this compares at all. Once uponatime i drank a hefeveisen (probalby spelled wron), and least that was what it was called.

Once, t'other time, i drank a fairly local, apricot and wheat beer. It wasn't any belgian blue moon..

'nuther time i drank guiness.

Re-read the first two sentences.
I hope i'm actually registering on-lince. Don't quite get all this yet.

please let me know if I'm actually communicating with people in the outside world.

[The Atheist]

A REAL Blake would've even stopped to smell the roses, an perhaps write about a lamb, and separately, a lion. Regarding ale. Don't know if this compares at all. Once uponatime I drank a hefeveisen (probalby spelled wron), and least that was what it was called.

Once, t'other time, I drank a fairly local, apricot and wheat beer. It wasn't any Belgian Blue Moon..

'Nuther time I drank Guiness.

Re-read the first two sentences.
I hope I'm actually registering on-lince. Don't quite get all this yet.

5555555555

please let me know if I'm actually communicating with people in the outside world.

Are you sure there's really an outside world to communicate with?

:D

Welcome in!

Parker is opening the '86 Montrachet later on.

[Scheherazade]

please let me know if I'm actually communicating with people in the outside world.Yes, you are, you are... But if you want to talk to our leader, you will have to wait until Monday and make an appointment!

:p

[jocky]

Don't quite get all this yet

Nah, you have got it spot on. I can't wait until you tell us about Area 51 and we can share our alien abduction tales. :)

[gbrekken]

Are you sure you wouldn't rather hear about the legal brothels?

[The Atheist]

Are you sure you wouldn't rather hear about the legal brothels?

Sure. I live in a country full of them.

In fact, thanks to drink-driving laws, there are now more brothels than pubs!

[gbrekken]

So, I might be stupid, but explain the direct correlation between pubs and brothels if you don't mind. I'd bet you that the brothels here host more bright lights. So, do you stumble from one location to the next in hopes of arriving in a safe place? There are many miles between areas of hospitality in this state. Had a great brandy old-fashioned with a Grand Manier float over the top. Couldn't do business because half of them reminded of my daughters or former students.

[soundofmusic]

I'm crying for you.

That's a horror story.



Birthday parties and celibacy....

Not really compatible subjects.

:bday_2: Well, dear fellow, you missed your window of opportunity; Brooke and the girls, all in their lovliest birthday suits, were mourning your absence; but I gave them your best wishes and told them to come 'round should they ever suffer PTSD...you've opened a free clinic:brow:

[The Atheist]

So, I might be stupid, but explain the direct correlation between pubs and brothels if you don't mind.

Two places gentlemen like to retire to on a Ftriday night.


I'd bet you that the brothels here host more bright lights. So, do you stumble from one location to the next in hopes of arriving in a safe place? There are many miles between areas of hospitality in this state. Had a great brandy old-fashioned with a Grand Manier float over the top. Couldn't do business because half of them reminded of my daughters or former students.

:lol:


:bday_2: Well, dear fellow, you missed your window of opportunity; Brooke and the girls, all in their lovliest birthday suits, were mourning your absence; but I gave them your best wishes and told them to come 'round should they ever suffer PTSD...you've opened a free clinic:brow:

I'm taking bookings online.

[soundofmusic]

Not that I am one for causing trouble Mick, but what have you got to say for yourself? I take full responsibiliy for the party invites, I am pretty sure rhere was a misprint somewhere. Did you notice every time there is trouble on this thread, Atheist is never to be seen? I stopped the elephant act years ago just after I asked the wife , what do you think ? She replied, I never really noticed and I have told you never to bother me when I am watching Coronation Street. :)

:wave: Do you remember the old superman series where Atheist runs into a booth and comes out as a Scottsman? Well, anyway, the tights gave him a terrible wedgie and after that he lost his sexy brogue:lol:

[The Atheist]

:wave: Do you remember the old superman series where Atheist runs into a booth and comes out as a Scottsman? Well, anyway, the tights gave him a terrible wedgie and after that he lost his sexy brogue:lol:

You've just reminded me of something here, and I trust me old jocky will enjoy this as well, but the honest truth is, I used to be known almost universally as Jock!

In the days before cellphones, some of us stayed in touch via CB radio, and it was pretty normal to have a radio persona, just as we have forum personae. I used to use a fake ID and talk with a broad Scots accent, and everyone thought I was a genuine Scotsman! I even turned up in a kilt once to help the myth along.

Ah, but life was so much simpler then.

[jocky]

I used to be known almost universally as Jock!
I used to use a fake ID and talk with a broad Scots accent, and everyone thought I was a genuine Scotsman! I even turned up in a kilt once to help the myth along.



:lol:

I knew it, your prolonged Freudian slip has convinced me where your true loyalties lie. After much discussion with colleagues it has been decided, by a narrow margin, to make you an Honorable member of the Crochallan Fencibles.
Arise MacAtheist and ' lang may yer lum reek ' :)

[The Atheist]

:lol:

I knew it, your prolonged Freudian slip has convinced me where your true loyalties lie. After much discussion with colleagues it has been decided, by a narrow margin, to make you an Honorable member of the Crochallan Fencibles.
Arise MacAtheist and ' lang may yer lum reek ' :)

I'm touched.

That stain on your monitor is my tears.

[jocky]

I'm touched.



What can I say pal? Apparently you can get help for psychological disorders even in New Zealand, though I dont hold out much hope for you. You and Barbara Cartland have more in common than you think. :lol::lol::lol:

[soundofmusic]

What can I say pal? Apparently you can get help for psychological disorders even in New Zealand, though I dont hold out much hope for you. You and Barbara Cartland have more in common than you think. :lol::lol::lol:

:confused: okay, I'll bite :brickwall What's the joke about dead romance writers:cool:

[The Atheist]

What can I say pal? Apparently you can get help for psychological disorders even in New Zealand, though I dont hold out much hope for you. You and Barbara Cartland have more in common than you think. :lol::lol::lol:

Hey, I was a big fan!

Her books were just the right size to put in a pack as firestarters when tramping.


:confused: okay, I'll bite :brickwall What's the joke about dead romance writers:cool:


The tears, I think.

[soundofmusic]

Hey, I was a big fan!

Her books were just the right size to put in a pack as firestarters when tramping.




The tears, I think.

:lol: :goof: Well Atheist, my dear, I guess it's time you brought up a "What do you think..." tale of 40Ds, blood and guts or Guiness; We're lossing the blokes. I don't want the only good live chat thread to fall into the subject of the effects of Mountain Dew drinking (unless it's with gin).:lol::ladysman:

[gbrekken]

Someone doesn't know that the sweat off Dolly Parton's chest is called Mountain View. It took me a long time to navigate back to this thread ( call it poor computer skills, early oxenheimers or anything you want.) Blokes' thread eh?

Are rugby fans just as nuts as soccer fans? Is England ready for the NFL? If someone is incapable of insubordination, are then and therefore incapable of having been one of the "founding fathers (okay include mothers)" of the US? I originated, besides dad and mom (mum to most), in a part of the country that wasn't included in the treaty of Paris (1783). I could've been a Canuck. I actually feel that most of my cultural influences were of an English bent anyway. That treaty is only two pages long, and the British definitely had better knowledge of drainage basins. Almost sounds like drain bamage on the part of the colonials. No complaints here though on Franklin's part of the whole thing. How do I get to the authors' page. Women-can't live with, couldn't have been born without one, and can't keep 'em from reading. Oh well. Weather here is turning to winter tomorrow. Could be a long, cold one. Wisht I could afford it by the barrrel.

[soundofmusic]

[QUOTE=gbrekken;796870]Someone doesn't know that the sweat off Dolly Parton's chest is called Mountain View. It took me a long time to navigate back to this thread ( call it poor computer skills, early oxenheimers or anything you want.) Blokes' thread eh?

How do I get to the authors' page. Women-can't live with, couldn't have been born without one, and can't keep 'em from reading. Oh well. Weather here is turning to winter tomorrow. Could be a long, cold one. Wisht I could afford it by the barrrel.[/QUOT


:lol: Glad you're back! It can be hard sometimes to get around this computer site (there are so many forums)

Love the line about Dolly; though I should think, by now, gravity would have caused the mountains to hit valley:nod:

:ladysman: I don't know about the "living with women"; the fellows I know claim it is best to "Hit it and Quit it". They seem to reap all the benefits in that way without any of the drawbacks...I suppose if they could figure out the "rhythm method of birth control" they would have a perfect system:lol:

:cold: Sounds cold down your way; but I hear you have the bunny ranch, lots of liquor and gambling...My Florida friends envy you. We're at 90 degrees farenheit over here, still using the airconditioner.

[gbrekken]

okay, which is cheaper? gambling, drinking, or women? do you dare mix all three? By the way-that old-fashioned with the Marnier was at the Moonlite(Sp?). The same owner has three other brothels on the south side of US 50 just east of Carson City in a county by name of Lyon (Mound house-go figure.). Storey county I hear has some. Don't know about all that-read previous comments. We hit low 70s today- tits *** weather- wish the folks back home on the farm could have such dryness as Nevada's right now-sugar beets are hard to dig out of the ground after five inches of rain in a month. I think a super hard freeze might be the only way to get half the beets out. Unfortunately, it might only be the top half of each beet they get out. I'm rambling now. New paragraph. Yeah, I could've indented but I"d just ramble on.....

I appreciate this link. I can say the **** I want to-as diverse and loose as it may be. May even get a reply someday. Sorry you live in such a state as Fla. Not that mine's better. I'm not far from Fallon, (home of top gun?), and the naval air station there. NV beat Fla. for cloudless days. Oops. That was supposed to be a doubled parentheses..

Too much labor for too many years-not enough fun in the meanwhile-all work and no play makes Johnny a .......

I was going to mention that underwire bras have got to hurt the ribs of the wearer. I don't like marks like that on any lady I'm with. I'd really rather they be in the valley of.......blokes' only, right? HA! If a lady needs an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, I reserve the the right to be the one doing the holden. But she'd have to be here with me for that. Hey Floridian-come fly my way?

I don't understand the emo of two banging heads on the one in the middle. Replies?

I don't see my reply-craftily done it was too. Crap don't happen-you body works hard to produce it. Y ou really shold have read my earlier writng-guess I hit the wrong button. I'll search for theat answer if it still exists in this virtual world. It was far ranging and to the points.

Okay now I see it.

[The Atheist]

Are rugby fans just as nuts as soccer fans?

No.

The soccer v rugby thing has always amused me. Rugby people like their violence in the game, soccer people prefer it in the stands.


Is England ready for the NFL?

No.


If someone is incapable of insubordination, are then and therefore incapable of having been one of the "founding fathers (okay include mothers)" of the US? I originated, besides dad and mom (mum to most), in a part of the country that wasn't included in the treaty of Paris (1783). I could've been a Canuck. I actually feel that most of my cultural influences were of an English bent anyway. That treaty is only two pages long, and the British definitely had better knowledge of drainage basins. Almost sounds like drain bamage on the part of the colonials. No complaints here though on Franklin's part of the whole thing.

Not sure what you want here, but insubordination doesn't sound too serious.

Then again, I'm pretty insubordinate myself!

:D


How do I get to the authors' page.

Click on the main forum title at the top of the page and you'll get the main page where authors are listed alphabetically.


Women-can't live with, couldn't have been born without one, and can't keep 'em from reading.

So long as I don't have to read anything they've written, I can cope with it.


Oh well. Weather here is turning to winter tomorrow. Could be a long, cold one. Wisht I could afford it by the barrrel.

You can have winter, we're just starting summer here.

[soundofmusic]

okay, which is cheaper? gambling, drinking, or women? do you dare mix all three? By the way-that old-fashioned with the Marnier was at the Moonlite(Sp?). The same owner has three other brothels on the south side of US 50 just east of Carson City in a county by name of Lyon (Mound house-go figure.). Storey county I hear has some. Don't know about all that-read previous comments.

I appreciate this link. I can say the **** I want to-as diverse and loose as it may be. May even get a reply someday.

I was going to mention that underwire bras have got to hurt the ribs of the wearer. I don't like marks like that on any lady I'm with. I'd really rather they be in the valley of.......blokes' only, right? HA! If a lady needs an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, I reserve the the right to be the one doing the holden. But she'd have to be here with me for that. Hey Floridian-come fly my way


:lol: I believe I would do my gambling alone; Never lay your cash and your woman in the same place or you'll soon lose both :( I find that when in the company of women, I NEED TO DRINK!:rage:

So what do the women in the brothels look like? I've seen some television shows ("So, why do you want to be a worthless whore instead of a millionaire like me" :goof:)

The underwire bras were originally for skinny women: it took all the side fat and put it where it looked best. Now, women are just plain masochistic; they have these full body things that probably hit the poor bloke like a boomerang
when he tries to get close.




Then again, I'm pretty insubordinate myself!

So long as I don't have to read anything they've written, I can cope with it.


:cool: Yeah, But Atheist does "insubordinate" with style; he sneaks up on them :brow:

I once argued the point that I could tell whether a woman or man wrote something; what do you think? I really couldn't with George Eliot.

[The Atheist]

So what do the women in the brothels look like? I've seen some television shows ("So, why do you want to be a worthless whore instead of a millionaire like me" :goof:)

Some of them are ok! Some are even bloody gorgeous.


I once argued the point that I could tell whether a woman or man wrote something; what do you think? I really couldn't with George Eliot.

I reckon I can tell.

[prendrelemick]

Now that I'm entering my dotage, I find I can dip my bread in as much homemade broth as I can cope with. :p Even better, I can drink deeply, belch, roll over and be asleep by 10.30. The fare served up at a brothel, is either too spicey, in meagre portions or served cold.

ps. its nice to be back.

[The Atheist]

Now that I'm entering my dotage, I find I can dip my bread in as much homemade broth as I can cope with. :p Even better, I can drink deeply, belch, roll over and be asleep by 10.30. The fare served up at a brothel, is either too spicey, in meagre portions or served cold.

ps. its nice to be back.

:lol:

Welcome back!

I'll get Parker to break out the scratchings at once.

[soundofmusic]

Some of them are ok! Some are even bloody gorgeous.

:rolleyes: Atheist, I'm pleasantly shocked! Once again I see your research knows no boundaries:lol: So, do they have like a services menu: Walking on a leash is $20, Doing a mud fight with 2 other women is $60. Or is it one toll on an hourly basis. I remember one girl on a talk show said, "Alot of the older men just want to talk" I wonder:confused:

I reckon I can tell.

:yawnb: Okay, I reviewed some of George and a few others last night; I guess you're right. Hey, do I write like a girl? :lol:


Now that I'm entering my dotage, I find I can dip my bread in as much homemade broth as I can cope with. :p Even better, I can drink deeply, belch, roll over and be asleep by 10.30. The fare served up at a brothel, is either too spicey, in meagre portions or served cold.

ps. its nice to be back.

:ladysman: Prendrelemick, so glad you're back! You've got my vote; as long as you're talking about a good hearty bread and you're rolling the opposite side of the bed. In my youthful days, when I was of meagre portion myself, I remember getting pinned to the bed a few times by a heavily sleeping prince:D

[prendrelemick]

My bread may be getting a little crusty nowadays, but its still hearty.

I must admit, I would not have known your gender, but for your girly use of smilies.:ladysman::lol::santasmil:angel:

[jocky]

okay, which is cheaper? gambling, drinking, or women? do you dare mix all three? By the way-that old-fashioned with the Marnier was at the Moonlite(Sp?). The same owner has three other brothels on the south side of US 50 just east of Carson City in a county by name of Lyon (Mound house-go figure.). Storey county I hear has some. Don't know about all that-read previous comments. We hit low 70s today- tits *** weather- wish the folks back home on the farm could have such dryness as Nevada's right now-sugar beets are hard to dig out of the ground after five inches of rain in a month. I think a super hard freeze might be the only way to get half the beets out. Unfortunately, it might only be the top half of each beet they get out. I'm rambling now. New paragraph. Yeah, I could've indented but I"d just ramble on.....

I appreciate this link. I can say the **** I want to-as diverse and loose as it may be. May even get a reply someday. Sorry you live in such a state as Fla. Not that mine's better. I'm not far from Fallon, (home of top gun?), and the naval air station there. NV beat Fla. for cloudless days. Oops. That was supposed to be a doubled parentheses..

Too much labor for too many years-not enough fun in the meanwhile-all work and no play makes Johnny a .......

I was going to mention that underwire bras have got to hurt the ribs of the wearer. I don't like marks like that on any lady I'm with. I'd really rather they be in the valley of.......blokes' only, right? HA! If a lady needs an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, I reserve the the right to be the one doing the holden. But she'd have to be here with me for that. Hey Floridian-come fly my way?

I don't understand the emo of two banging heads on the one in the middle. Replies?

I don't see my reply-craftily done it was too. Crap don't happen-you body works hard to produce it. Y ou really shold have read my earlier writng-guess I hit the wrong button. I'll search for theat answer if it still exists in this virtual world. It was far ranging and to the points.

Okay now I see it.

In the immortal words of Robert Burns you are a : ' blethering, blustering, drunken bellum ' I have got all the goods on you Gerald ;)




ps. its nice to be back.

And I know where you have been! MOOOO, BAAAAA. ;)

[soundofmusic]

My bread may be getting a little crusty nowadays, but its still hearty.

I must admit, I would not have known your gender, but for your girly use of smilies.:ladysman::lol::santasmil:angel:

:lol: I've asked administration for more smiles; I can't do emotion properly without them...
Speaking of knowing gender: I once went to visit a patient, an older lady with a fine home, husband and 2 beautiful daughters. I listened to her chest (she had a very large soft chest); I listened to her belly (very soft smooth belly) I covered her and continued: there was a big hairy man under the rest of the sheet (golf balls the size of Texas) :lol: :lol:


In the immortal words of Robert Burns you are a : ' blethering, blustering, drunken bellum ' I have got all the goods on you Gerald ;)



And I know where you have been! MOOOO, BAAAAA. ;)

So Jocky, tell us all the goods on Gerald and Atheist; and I still want to hear about your elephant impression....Is it anything like the towel rack impression?

[jocky]

So Jocky, tell us all the goods on Gerald and Atheist; and I still want to hear about your elephant impression....Is it anything like the towel rack impression?

My wife reckons you are a nymphomaniac, and says you should keep your hands off my towel rack, and I would never disagree with my wife, obviously. So just stick to Atheist and Mick who are clearly available and cheap, as well as being lying gits. A wee question here, are you one person, or multi's G or D? Read, Richard 111 , plenty of schizophrenic liars there. I am sure the moderators will know, nighty, night.

[soundofmusic]

My wife reckons you are a nymphomaniac, and says you should keep your hands off my towel rack, and I would never disagree with my wife, obviously. So just stick to Atheist and Mick who are clearly available and cheap, as well as being lying gits. A wee question here, are you one person, or multi's G or D? Read, Richard 111 , plenty of schizophrenic liars there. I am sure the moderators will know, nighty, night.


My dear friend Jocky, I joke with you as I do all of my friends on this forum; but I would not, for the world, offend you. You are fortunate enough to be loved by someone who sees you as you were at the beginning of your relationship (or perhaps as she imagines you are...as I loved my husband for the twenty-four years we were married; until he passed away)
I don't make excuses for the little pleasure I receive from humor; I'm 55 years old, I work 12 hour days with terminally ill people, I come home to an empty bed and I enjoy the few moments I have on the computer with all of you. I hope that you are wiser than I was during my married life; to cherish the gift of love.

[prendrelemick]

And I know where you have been! MOOOO, BAAAAA. ;)


You're right. - Wales.

[gbrekken]

guilty as charged Jocky (though my OED doesn't help with bellum). My apologies to all for my diarrhea of the lip. I've grown unaccustomed to intelligent adult conversation after 22 years teaching secondary, the last nineteen at a Reno middle school, eight of those after my Masters. No excuses-Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was a long time ago. Would Laxalt be more appropriate? I fear an Oxbow Incident coming my way before its time. Only one smile here.

[The Comedian]

If I may, I'd like to pose an important hypothetical question for discussion -- one that hits at the heart of this thread. Did I write "heart"? For shame! I meant soul of this thread.

What is the manliest drink? A cosmopolitan? Surely not. A brandy old fashion? Maybe. A gimlet? The silly name alone discredits it.

A simple Irish Whiskey and a splash of water?

[The Atheist]

You're right. - Wales.

Ah, the valleys!


guilty as charged Jocky (though my OED doesn't help with bellum). My apologies to all for my diarrhea of the lip. I've grown unaccustomed to intelligent adult conversation after 22 years teaching secondary, the last nineteen at a Reno middle school, eight of those after my Masters. No excuses-Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was a long time ago. Would Laxalt be more appropriate? I fear an Oxbow Incident coming my way before its time. Only one smile here.

22 years teaching? They give VCs for five minutes under enemy fire and you've been in it for twenty two years!

Mate, I can't begin to describe how much I'd never swap with you. It's people like you, who are silly enough to take our kids off us for 3/4 of the year that preserve our sanity!


If I may, I'd like to pose an important hypothetical question for discussion -- one that hits at the heart of this thread. Did I write "heart"? For shame! I meant soul of this thread.

What is the manliest drink? A cosmopolitan? Surely not. A brandy old fashion? Maybe. A gimlet? The silly name alone discredits it.

A simple Irish Whiskey and a splash of water?

Whisky, although I will grant equal rights to whiskey as long as it's made in the Emerald Isle and isn't that awful sump residue Americans and teenagers are prone to drink.

A splash of water?

There'll be a jury on that at 8.45 pm. I believe Parker has put the black ball in the box, just in case.

Can you define how much a "splash" is?


My dear friend Jocky, I joke with you as I do all of my friends on this forum; but I would not, for the world, offend you.

Offend jocky?

You can't offend Scots. They're tight-fisted, binge-drinking, mad-scrapping, foul-mouthed Celts who pretend to be drunken Australians when the heat goes on.








And that's just some of their good points!

[prendrelemick]

No not the valleys, but here.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/8918_1235100871123_1037247242_30728.jpg
Llanddudno, with the rest of the clan Lemick.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/llandudno.jpg

Fortunately Llanddudno survived reletively unscathed.

[The Atheist]

No not the valleys, but here.

Lovely spot!

[The Atheist]

And just to cheer everyone up in the northern winter, I now offer complete, final and never-to-be-wuestioned proof that:

Men are better than women!

Teh Prewf!

Every time the debate on which gender is better, the one insurmountable problem men have hit is talking - women always claim that they're better at talking, and every time I've tried talking to one, I've been forced to agree.

Without the benefit of cloth ears or Grade 5 earmuffs, it's impossible not to be mesmerised by the sound of a woman's voice at length.

Great length.

So, ultimately, we grimpy accept the anecdotal evidence in our face and trudge away, beaten.

But not any more! What science has failed to achieve, we have achieved as a body, or should I say, cadre of men. Scientists are not generally known for their blokiness, and if you know a single scientist with the testicular fortitude to stand up to a woman, then you know one more than me.

Yet check out this very thread, a bastion of blokedom, and look at the posting history - nary a day goes by that one of us doesn't have at least one pearl of wisdom to share. And often several.

Then compare it with the paltry, feeble, sputtering effort which is the girls' thread.

After putting on my latex gloves, I had to try to find the damned thing today, to show my daughter* where it is.

Page Three! (how appropriate)

I don't know how many hundreds of threads that makes it less-important-than, but if a bunch of girls cannot even keep a discussion going in a book club, then we've won!

Just in case any of the sneaky female usurpers that come in here try to say that some of the posts in here have been made by women, rest assured my brothers that this is an invalid complaint.

That they prefer to post in here, surrounded by the smells of old leather, aftershave and open wood fires, is in itself the final nail in the coffin of the concept of equality.


http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/deathofequality.jpg


Note the lack of flowers.




*What can I say; she's 10 and wants to talk books. Mea culpa, but I couldn't really ask Scher to ban her.

She is, however, under the strictest of instructions and pain of death (of her computer-time) if she ever enters the door of this place. :D

[Scheherazade]

I think you might be right, The Atheist.

There has been a significant increase in men's posts since Virgil post that article about internet and brain powers...

:p

[prendrelemick]

If I may, I'd like to pose an important hypothetical question for discussion -- one that hits at the heart of this thread. Did I write "heart"? For shame! I meant soul of this thread.

What is the manliest drink? A cosmopolitan? Surely not. A brandy old fashion? Maybe. A gimlet? The silly name alone discredits it.

A simple Irish Whiskey and a splash of water?



Beeeer!!!!

Its not so much the drink as the ritual of the drink. Take canned for instance, you rip open the ring pull. not giving a damn about the splashes on the carpet, slurp noisely at the foam that emerges, then pour it down the throat, head back to show off your well developed adams apple glugging loudly up and down, until the can is drained. On finishing you go, "Ahhh, I needed that."(As though you have had a hard day working up a man's thirst by performing manly tasks.)then you belch loudly and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. If you are feeling particularly macho, crush the can with your bare hands and pitch it across the room so that it ricochets off the wall and into the waste bin.

[jocky]

Offend jocky?

You can't offend Scots. They're tight-fisted, binge-drinking, mad-scrapping, foul-mouthed Celts who pretend to be drunken Australians when the heat goes on.








And that's just some of their good points!

I object to foul-mouthed, the rest I can live with.

[prendrelemick]

Page Three! (how appropriate)





Ooo Athiest, I hope for your sake the ladies from the coughy thread don't catch that reference. :lol:

[The Atheist]

I object to foul-mouthed, the rest I can live with.

Ok, I withdraw that baseless accusation but shall let all the others stand!


Ooo Athiest, I hope for your sake the ladies from the coughy thread don't catch that reference. :lol:

No chance. Cafes don't have those papers lying around.

[JuniperWoolf]

If I may, I'd like to pose an important hypothetical question for discussion -- one that hits at the heart of this thread. Did I write "heart"? For shame! I meant soul of this thread.

What is the manliest drink? A cosmopolitan? Surely not. A brandy old fashion? Maybe. A gimlet? The silly name alone discredits it.

A simple Irish Whiskey and a splash of water?

I'm Canadian. For us, that would be beer.

http://canadianfermentation.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/molson.jpg

[prendrelemick]

The Brotherhood of Beer does not recognise national boundries.- Well, apart from France!

[The Atheist]

The Brotherhood of Beer does not recognise national boundries.- Well, apart from France!

:lol:

[3wivesandimout]

Strong Cuban coffee is the drink for me. Come one, Come all ladies: See that in addition to a high IQ and biting wit, I also possess a well defined 6 pack.

[The Atheist]

Strong Cuban coffee is the drink for me. Come one, Come all ladies: See that in addition to a high IQ and biting wit, I also possess a well defined 6 pack.

Ha!

You must be a good bloke - the very first post and you made it in here.

Welcome along!

(Three wives? You are a glutton for punishment!)

[papayahed]

Strong Cuban coffee is the drink for me. Come one, Come all ladies: See that in addition to a high IQ and biting wit, I also possess a well defined 6 pack.

Where, in the fridge?

[Scheherazade]

Where, in the fridge?*takes out a score card*

Papaya: 1

:D

[3wivesandimout]

Ha!

You must be a good bloke - the very first post and you made it in here.

Welcome along!

(Three wives? You are a glutton for punishment!)

What can I say, great minds lurk in obscure places.
3 women, it was hell on earth. As an avid collector and connoisseur of exotic flavors, I felt it my duty to imbibe generously!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Is it safe to enter camp again? Have you boys finally come to your senses and run those coffee toting tarts out of here?
I’m off satiating our hunter gatherer instincts in search of meat, Wild Turkey and ale and what do I find upon my return? A cave ransacked by raucous, licentious bantering with a bunch of broads!

Look at this place! Smilies strewn about, nail polish, sliced ham, wedding dresses and vacuum cleaners cluttering up the caves!
What the…!!- mirrors on the roof of the cave?
Jocky, for god’s sake get your kilt back on!
Prendrelemick – you of all people, how could you let these wolves in sheep’s clothing infiltrate the camp?

Didn’t you blokes set the trip wire?

Yes; I admit I left you guys hanging a bit longer than I intended. You see, I met up with a nomadic band of East Texas Magnus Pedi’s who were in the midst of being chased by members of the Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy. I had no choice but to dodge about the piney woods with the furry beasts for a few days until the hunt was apparently called off. I shared some Wild Turkey and tips on how to throw the Conservancy off the trail. In return, Harry, their leader, supplied me with boiled acorns and bags of Jack Links Beef Jerky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4vL-ajp8sU&feature=related

And what do we have here?... a man of three wives… hummh impressive!, but his penchant for coffee has me concerned, as it is the drink of choice for that “other” thread. Coffee can be spiked! Ah, that’s it!. Welcome to the camp pardner!

[papayahed]

Yes; I admit I left you guys hanging a bit longer than I intended. You see, I met up with a nomadic band of East Texas Magnus Pedi’s who were in the midst of being chased by members of the Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy. I had no choice but to dodge about the piney woods with the furry beasts for a few days until the hunt was apparently called off. I shared some Wild Turkey and tips on how to throw the Conservancy off the trail. In return, Harry, their leader, supplied me with boiled acorns and bags of Jack Links Beef Jerky




Did you run into the Louisiana Skunk Ape in your wanderings??

[3wivesandimout]

Where, in the fridge?

Ladies, Miss Papayahed and Scheherazade, allow me to show you the wonders of 3wives...if you prefer, we can begin with a glass of wine for each. Alas, I will not cloud my senses with such things! I will await the drink of the gods...


Is it safe to enter camp again? Have you boys finally come to your senses and run those coffee toting tarts out of here?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4vL-ajp8sU&feature=related

And what do we have here?... a man of three wives… hummh impressive!, but his penchant for coffee has me concerned, as it is the drink of choice for that “other” thread. Coffee can be spiked! Ah, that’s it!. Welcome to the camp pardner!

Thank you, noble hunter. You have arrived at the beginning of our great breeding feast. Visit the river of vitality, wash and examine your basket with one of these fine wenches.

[jocky]

Ok, I withdraw that baseless accusation but shall let all the others stand!




You mean the rest of your baseless accusations. :) Scrapping Scot, never, only when ordered, or provoked. Yes, the drunken Jock accusation will get some milage on this thread but I deny it completely, hic. As to the Aussie impersonator slur it was not worthy, next thing you will accuse me of being ENGLISH. Thick, I will have to think about that one. Ok, I have thought and have found no intelligent reason to disagree with your assessment. Question, do Kiwis never get drunk, fight, curse, or tell lies ? This is the ' Heart of the Matter ' :lol:


Did you run into the Louisiana Skunk Ape in your wanderings??

Or the Pickety Witch! Gilliat really needs to get out more often, the supernatural is always bigger and better in Texas. Did you ever hear about the Tartan Lady, she puts the greens, whites and blacks in the shade? :)

[prendrelemick]

That 3wives is crazy like a fox, puts a flirtatous post on a men only thread and gets a couple of females to bite straight away. :ladysman:

No wonder he's suffered multiple nuptuals.

[3wivesandimout]

That 3wives is crazy like a fox, puts a flirtatous post on a men only thread and gets a couple of females to bite straight away. :ladysman:

No wonder he's suffered multiple nuptuals.

They followed me through the back door, mate. The plague of birds that picks at 3wives pockets, they will not take my spirit!

[papayahed]

They followed me through the back door, mate. The plague of birds that picks at 3wives pockets, they will not take my spirit!


umm, No I walked through the front door. (I stopped following people since that unfortunate court order:cold:)

[3wivesandimout]

umm, No I walked through the front door. (I stopped following people since that unfortunate court order:cold:)

Ah, a beautiful lady with a sense of humor. Forgive me, sweet lady, it was fear of suffering yet another sad rejection that forced my heartless retreat!

[The Atheist]

Is it safe to enter camp again? Have you boys finally come to your senses and run those coffee toting tarts out of here?
I’m off satiating our hunter gatherer instincts in search of meat, Wild Turkey and ale and what do I find upon my return? A cave ransacked by raucous, licentious bantering with a bunch of broads!

Jealous you weren't here when they arrived?



As to the Aussie impersonator slur it was not worthy, next thing you will accuse me of being ENGLISH.

Never! Some things are still taboo.


Question, do Kiwis never get drunk, fight, curse, or tell lies ? This is the ' Heart of the Matter ' :lol:

The question should be, "Do they ever do anything else?"

[gbrekken]

drinks-is single malt unfit for manliest, since it's too gentlemanly? No water desired-rusts the pipes. BEER-the manner of drinking is important. Single small can-open bottom with can opener and start sucking it up/down, lift can right side up and pop the top; single glug without the apple's ups and downs. Large can (16 gallon with flexible hose) (some manly assistance required unless..)-grip sides firmly in both hands. Stand on hands (hence the help for those less gorillic). Have spigot placed in mouth and open it. You can stop anytime you need to breathe. Return to upright position and prepare for your next sip. 25 seconds is the longest I've seen someone keg-stand. 1/2 shot Tuaca, 1/2 shot Kahlua, 1/2 shot Bailey's, full shot hot coffee (Cuban okay) and in minutes you're awake and ready to face the day!

Even I would like to hear the goods on me. I could only confirm the truth however, as I'm not the best liar, yet.

[The Atheist]

drinks-is single malt unfit for manliest, since it's too gentlemanly?

Too gentlemanly?

I blame jocky for lowering the tome of the Club, thus ending in questions like this. The manliest a man can be is to [B]be]/B] a gentleman, hence, no such thing as "too gentlemanly" is possible.


BEER-the manner of drinking is important. Single small can-open bottom with can opener and start sucking it up/down, lift can right side up and pop the top; single glug without the apple's ups and downs. Large can (16 gallon with flexible hose) (some manly assistance required unless..)-grip sides firmly in both hands. Stand on hands (hence the help for those less gorillic). Have spigot placed in mouth and open it. You can stop anytime you need to breathe. Return to upright position and prepare for your next sip. 25 seconds is the longest I've seen someone keg-stand. 1/2 shot Tuaca, 1/2 shot Kahlua, 1/2 shot Bailey's, full shot hot coffee (Cuban okay) and in minutes you're awake and ready to face the day!

Even I would like to hear the goods on me. I could only confirm the truth however, as I'm not the best liar, yet.

My apologies, but it seems as though you imbibe beer from metal containers of various sizes.

Such pastimes are unknown here, beer coming in glass bottles.

Sounds fascinating, though!

:D

[jocky]

Too gentlemanly?

I blame jocky for lowering the tome of the Club



That is so unfair, it was not I that brought up Wales. Gentlemen, humbug :(


drinks-is single malt unfit for manliest, since it's too gentlemanly? No water desired-rusts the pipes. BEER-the manner of drinking is important. Single small can-open bottom with can opener and start sucking it up/down, lift can right side up and pop the top; single glug without the apple's ups and downs. Large can (16 gallon with flexible hose) (some manly assistance required unless..)-grip sides firmly in both hands. Stand on hands (hence the help for those less gorillic). Have spigot placed in mouth and open it. You can stop anytime you need to breathe. Return to upright position and prepare for your next sip. 25 seconds is the longest I've seen someone keg-stand. 1/2 shot Tuaca, 1/2 shot Kahlua, 1/2 shot Bailey's, full shot hot coffee (Cuban okay) and in minutes you're awake and ready to face the day!

Even I would like to hear the goods on me. I could only confirm the truth however, as I'm not the best liar, yet.

Gbrekken, that was a wonderful discourse on the finer points of getting wasted. The youth of Reno deserve to hear those words of wisdom, so as a favour to you I have posted it unabridged on your school website. One tincy wincy criticism which you may find helpful to your future career, I think you will find all the guys agree on. Never, but never mention Bailey's on a serious discussion on the art, or science of boozing. This can have unforseen and terrible repercussions. As to the urine extraction dont give it another thought as, if Jocky got a quid for every time he had been slagged mercilessly on this thread I would be richer than Bill Gates. :)

[The Atheist]

That is so unfair, it was not I that brought up Wales.

Ugh.

My ex-mother in law is Welsh.

If you ever wondered why Wales has that stupid dragon as a national symbol, wonder no more!

Ye ken I love Scotland!

[jocky]

Ugh.

My ex-mother in law is Welsh.

If you ever wondered why Wales has that stupid dragon as a national symbol, wonder no more!

Ye ken I love Scotland!

I ken you do Atheist, it is just the inhabitants your no so keen on. Nobody is listening are they, is there something wrong with Mick he has to go to Wales on holiday? You think you know your mates and out of the blue they let you down big time. What a paradox, the land of the beautiful Dylan Thomas and the ugliest women in the western world. As I have always said there is no accounting for taste. :)

To all you of a poetical bent, here is a couple of lines from Scotland's second best poet, William Topaz MacGonnagal. THE COO, Loosely translated as the cow. Ahem, The COO, The Coo looks so forlorner, standing there with a leg in each corner. Beat that. :)

[prendrelemick]

Nobody is listening are they, is there something wrong with Mick he has to go to Wales on holiday? :)



Suddenly my life seems sad!



Two words, Jocky. The Krankies! Aye, hang your head in shame. Or are they another Scottish institution Jocky will claim to be English, like haggis

[The Atheist]

I ken you do Atheist, it is just the inhabitants your no so keen on.

Nooooo!

Any race which can invent scotch has a special place in heaven.

In fact, I figured out some time ago that mouthwash is about 60% alcohol, which kills the germs. 15 ml @ 60%, I calculated that 25 ml @ 40% is close enough and just use scotch.

You can swallow it after to save flushing the green gunk down the drain - economy, saving the planet and taste good all at the same time!


What a paradox, the land of the beautiful Dylan Thomas and the ugliest women in the western world. As I have always said there is no accounting for taste. :)

You've met my ex-mother in law, haven't you?

Ah, Dylan the Thomas. Amazing how many giant talents never learnt to hold their drink.


To all you of a poetical bent, here is a couple of lines from Scotland's second best poet, William Topaz MacGonnagal. THE COO, Loosely translated as the cow. Ahem, The COO, The Coo looks so forlorner, standing there with a leg in each corner. Beat that. :)

:lol:

Outstanding!

[jocky]

Nooooo!

Any race which can invent scotch has a special place in heaven.

In fact, I figured out some time ago that mouthwash is about 60% alcohol, which kills the germs. 15 ml @ 60%, I calculated that 25 ml @ 40% is close enough and just use scotch.

You can swallow it after to save flushing the green gunk down the drain - economy, saving the planet and taste good all at the same time!





Einstein would have killed to come up with that mind blowing formula, that relegates E=MC squared to kid's play. However, I hate to tell you that I tried it for a number of years and lost all my teeth, half my tongue and developed severe liver problems. The one consolation being that I have contributed to saving the planet. :)






Two words, Jocky. The Krankies! Aye, hang your head in shame.

:redface:
My batman is at present winging his way to cold comfort farm to throw my guage at your feet. Here is a quick summary of his instructions, Time and Place: Scotch Corner at precisely 7.00 A.M. ( no show will result in humiliation and world wide publication ) Weapons: mutual exchange of insults , or chainsaws. Krankies indeed! :)


Is it safe to enter camp again? Have you boys finally come to your senses and run those coffee toting tarts out of here?
I’m off satiating our hunter gatherer instincts in search of meat, Wild Turkey and ale and what do I find upon my return? A cave ransacked by raucous, licentious bantering with a bunch of broads!


Aye Gilliatt, you have reminded me of that old song: When the going gets tough, the Texans get going, usually away from the sound of the guns. :)