Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[The Atheist]

I have to agree with you about Wills. He seems the best of an odd bunch. Diana - though not of their clan - was also ok and much more normal. Perhaps he'll have to wait until he's king before he can change things. What a horrible job though. Cosseted yes. free - no.

Oh yeah. To find a more dysfunctional family, I suspect you'd need to find some meth-addict mum with 9 kids living in a caravan in Liverpool, and even then, not necessarily.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

well wow. Royal getting married whilst Rolls Royce recovers from a big hit. At least if you believe Dustin Hoffman (Rainman)'s statement that Qantas has never had a crash. At the same time the rain falls on the just and unjust (even queer sheep) and some think there's a conspiracy afoot/about/around.

I knew he'd come back :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVvKbNb3-VY&feature=related


.

[soundofmusic]

Classic!

From 1961! I always thought sex wasn't discovered until at least '62-3.

I invented sex in 1971, everything before that was part of a WWII experiment gone bad; which is why Prince charles wound up with dumbos ears and queen elizabeth can't change that expression:smilielol5:


Just look at the Queen - she's been wearing the same old stuff for fifty years now. I suppose she is a bit out of time with no awareness of fashion. That's why Diana caused such a stir - she knew what to wear at the time - whilst the rest of them followed their mum's lead.

I just know it's going to be on the news and telly for ever now that they've got engaged. The couple seem nice, but there's a whole edifice behind them, not to mention Charlie.

I'm waiting to see what Will will be in another 20 years; I thought Charlie and Phillip were rather jolly in their day.


well wow. Royal getting married whilst Rolls Royce recovers from a big hit. At least if you believe Dustin Hoffman (Rainman)'s statement that Qantas has never had a crash. At the same time the rain falls on the just and unjust (even queer sheep) and some think there's a conspiracy afoot/about/around.

Speaking of queer sheep...I wonder if the king of Tups will be charitable and send me a pink wool sweater for Christmas...
How long do you keep the sheep...I was trying to tell one of our friends about "natural lamb" condoms....that put the joy of sex and safety in the same place

[prendrelemick]

See how he reacts to this:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmHg5k9_nAw&feature=related



.

Interesting! Though nowadays I prefer well filled pasties (corned beef and potato) to well filled pasteys.


On the Gay Tup front, I've raddled him, (painted his front with,) with a bright blue dye, and if he doesn't mark any ewes this week its Stavros' Quality Kebab time.:nopity:

A Pink tup for your Sweater Sounds.
http://www.livestock-sales.co.uk/2006/breeding_sheep/carlisle/0825whiteley.html

The trouble with a wooly condom is that it sounds conceivable.




By the way, I seem to remember a Quantas crash somewhere in the frozen poles. Pilot error and bad weather was controversally blamed.

[The Atheist]

On the Gay Tup front, I've raddled him, (painted his front with,) with a bright blue dye, and if he doesn't mark any ewes this week its Stavros' Quality Kebab time.:nopity:

Three hundred quid's worth of kebabs?

That's the most expensive meal ever!

Hopefully, the threat will be enough.



By the way, I seem to remember a Quantas crash somewhere in the frozen poles. Pilot error and bad weather was controversally blamed.

I think you're getting confused with one of ours. Whiteout coupled with wrong map caused it to fly into a mountain instead of sky.

[prendrelemick]

Yep! That was the one I was thinking about.

Latest news on the Gay Tup: He seems to be pimping for the pink Tup, he can find them, do the preliminaries, then Pink Tup jumps on and does the business. Plan "C" is to separate them.
I'm going to this trouble because, as is often the case with gay males, he is a very handsome and well built Tup.

[The Atheist]

This is brilliant stuff, Mick!

You're making me jealous as hell, sitting in the middle of a frigging great city.

Those things are just so much more real than the crap that goes in corporate earth.

[prendrelemick]

I don't know about that, every field has its little fascinations. Your Corporate crap may be a tale of wonder to me.

[soundofmusic]

A Pink tup for your Sweater Sounds.
http://www.livestock-sales.co.uk/2006/breeding_sheep/carlisle/0825whiteley.html

The trouble with a wooly condom is that it sounds conceivable.


That looks like one nice sweater, thanks prendrelemick. My gracious, I am surprised he can move at all with that thing between his legs...maybe the gay tup is the only one who will have hime!
Don't you have Natural lamb condoms in the Uk; I and mr sounds used them all the time...I'm alergic to latex...you can't live in the states and be allergic to latex, everything is covered in it....


Three hundred quid's worth of kebabs?

That's the most expensive meal ever!



I'm trying to figure if he looks enough like a cow to eat; I have a problem eating furry things...right now, my mind is all occupied with turkey makings


Yep! That was the one I was thinking about.

Latest news on the Gay Tup: He seems to be pimping for the pink Tup, he can find them, do the preliminaries, then Pink Tup jumps on and does the business. Plan "C" is to separate them.
I'm going to this trouble because, as is often the case with gay males, he is a very handsome and well built Tup.

You're right, gay males are often physically superior...or that's the ones you notice; the funny looking ones act more like heteros....
It's sad now, gay men discover themselves much earlier and don't need a nice older woman to "give them a few pointers" and a tuck in:ladysman:

[gbrekken]

i had a thought and/but i lost it
virginity is like that
eh jocky

[The Atheist]

You're right, gay males are often physically superior...or that's the ones you notice; the funny looking ones act more like heteros....
It's sad now, gay men discover themselves much earlier and don't need a nice older woman to "give them a few pointers" and a tuck in:ladysman:

Haha!

Did you think you'd found a new category to follow?


i had a thought and/but i lost it
virginity is like that
eh jocky

Still have the box it came in, though.

And where is jocky? The Mrs must have taken him in hand. So to speak.

:)

[gbrekken]

now i remember
"o to be gently fondled by my friendly TSA representative/agent"
:)

[The Atheist]

now i remember
"o to be gently fondled by my friendly TSA representative/agent"
:)

Wow, I am seeing some funny stories on that subject right now.

I wonder how many people decline the scan just to be "patted down"?

;)

[prendrelemick]

What's so special about a hat-trick anyway. A fluke if you ask me.:prrr:

[The Atheist]

What's so special about a hat-trick anyway. A fluke if you ask me.:prrr:

Crikey yes! That game changed complexion in the space of one over - or half the over anyway.

:D

[Paulclem]

I'm afraid I couldn't watch a game of cricket, let alone listen to one on the radio. I have a life.

[Silas Thorne]

Yes, cricket normally bores me too. It takes too long to see anything interesting. But when I was a kid I saw this and it definitely held my attention for a while:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8703759542173375353#

[The Atheist]

I'm afraid I couldn't watch a game of cricket, let alone listen to one on the radio. I have a life.

:smilielol5:

I mostly agree, although sometimes test matches have bits in them that are just amazing. You'd watch an immense amount of dross to find those bits.

The internet is the best thing that ever happened to cricket - you can keep up with the action without having to spend any time watching it.

[Paulclem]

:smilielol5:

I mostly agree, although sometimes test matches have bits in them that are just amazing. You'd watch an immense amount of dross to find those bits.

The internet is the best thing that ever happened to cricket - you can keep up with the action without having to spend any time watching it.

:lol:

Who'd have guessed it.

I have played cricket for the school, but I was rubbish, and I only liked batting, bowling and backstop. I was so bad at bowling that I managed to get a few out with full tosses after the batsmen became overconfident and knocked me all over the park.

[The Atheist]

:lol:

Who'd have guessed it.

I have played cricket for the school, but I was rubbish, and I only liked batting, bowling and backstop. I was so bad at bowling that I managed to get a few out with full tosses after the batsmen became overconfident and knocked me all over the park.

Backstop?

:lol:

I hardly played the game myself once I got past primary school.

I was very good at the game in the lower age grades, but when I caught one in my mouth - breaking a couple of teeth and causing me to have lips the size of tractor tyres - I pretty much gave up.

It was one of those freak ones - I was keeping close to the wicket and the ball took two deviations, one from the bat, the other from the top of the bail, and hit me fair and square in the gob. I still have a silver tooth where my actual front tooth was replaced with 40 years ago.

Some people think it should happen to me on a frequent basis!

:D

[The Atheist]

Yes, cricket normally bores me too. It takes too long to see anything interesting. But when I was a kid I saw this and it definitely held my attention for a while:

Still a Kiwi icon, Lance Cairns. He had a non-textbook style, but when his eye was in, goodbye ball!

Marvellous stuff.

[Paulclem]

Wicket keeper - I'm not sure where I've picked up backstop. Probably in Yorkshire.

I was lucky. I never got a ball in the chops. I once bowled when I had a cricked neck. I wouldn't recommend it. No fun.

[soundofmusic]

i had a thought and/but i lost it
virginity is like that
eh jocky

I don't know, they claim that a loss of hormones makes a person lose their memory....ergo, all the oldsters double up on sex. I find a night of sex ruins my memory because I keep thinking of the act and forget everything else I have to do that day!


Haha!

Did you think you'd found a new category to follow?


:)

Yes, I was hoping, I sort of compartmentalize everything and everyone when I first meet them...of course, that is why all the Mr Sounds and lovers are the same man with different faces:dupe:


now i remember
"o to be gently fondled by my friendly TSA representative/agent"
:)

Okay, everyone is talking about this thing....so I'm wondering 2 things, exactly what does it show: an outline, an xray, or nudity....will it show something in an orifice, do they check your mouth, under large chested women...


Wow, I am seeing some funny stories on that subject right now.

I wonder how many people decline the scan just to be "patted down"?

;)

I'm wondering what is going on in the white house while we are spending all of our nights thinking about pat downs...how long has it been since 9/11...oh yes...more domestic violence then taliban attacks...

[The Atheist]

Wicket keeper - I'm not sure where I've picked up backstop. Probably in Yorkshire.

:lol:

It's a hanging offence is Yorkshire!


Okay, everyone is talking about this thing....so I'm wondering 2 things, exactly what does it show: an outline, an xray, or nudity....will it show something in an orifice, do they check your mouth, under large chested women...

The scanner shows a little more detail than an x-ray photo and that's about all. While the genitals are almost identifiable, the person isn't - the complaints really seem way out of proportion with what the scans actually are. Internal items will show up.

The pat-downs, now that's a different story entirely.

Under breasts, under genitalia, even between genitals, if the complaints are to be believed. I'd probably go with the scan!

[Paulclem]

Scans - I wonder if the wearers of prosthetics/ enhancers are the complainers.

There's too much worry. How interested are the operators going to be in you - me -after weeks of looking over body shapes with no faces. The only interest will be those out of the ordinary I suppose.

Fantasy Paranoia - people will consider of me in an inappropriate way that I don't like to know or think about with this body scan.

Reality - there goes another one.

[Silas Thorne]

I was very good at the game in the lower age grades, but when I caught one in my mouth - breaking a couple of teeth and causing me to have lips the size of tractor tyres - I pretty much gave up.

It was one of those freak ones - I was keeping close to the wicket and the ball took two deviations, one from the bat, the other from the top of the bail, and hit me fair and square in the gob. I still have a silver tooth where my actual front tooth was replaced with 40 years ago.

Some people think it should happen to me on a frequent basis!

:D

****, that sounds painful! I remember (mostly!) once when I stood too close in school on a sports day beside someone with an aluminium softball bat and they swung backwards a bit getting ready to hit the ball and it caught me on the temple. A bit dazed for a while (mild concussion for a few days) but luckily nothing broken.
These cricket balls...never enjoyed trying to catch them. Always thought I'd break a few fingers. Hard as hell. Luckily as a fielder in school breaks I never caught one in the goolies. That would surely be game over, do not remember collapse, do not create offspring.

[gbrekken]

What's so special about a hat-trick anyway. A fluke if you ask me.:prrr:

three goals by one person in a hockey game or Bullwinkle telling Rocky "watch me pull a rabbit out of the hat" hat trick?

2 for atheist: daughter got bieber fever?

only news here on that mine down there is now 3rd explosion of methane. i don't think i was the only one in the world hoping for another Chilean miracle. with our high tech(nology) world why can't these things be prevented?

[The Atheist]

Scans - I wonder if the wearers of prosthetics/ enhancers are the complainers.

They don't appear to be. I have to note that the complainers to date seem to be people to whom publicity is important.

I wonder why that is?


****, that sounds painful! I remember (mostly!) once when I stood too close in school on a sports day beside someone with an aluminium softball bat and they swung backwards a bit getting ready to hit the ball and it caught me on the temple. A bit dazed for a while (mild concussion for a few days) but luckily nothing broken.
These cricket balls...never enjoyed trying to catch them. Always thought I'd break a few fingers. Hard as hell. Luckily as a fielder in school breaks I never caught one in the goolies. That would surely be game over, do not remember collapse, do not create offspring.

Haha!

I knew a bloke had to have his testicles drained after a particularly nasty cricket hit.

I bet that was no fun.


2 for atheist: daughter got bieber fever?

No!

Thanks to being brought up with more alternative music, she's not one of 2,000,000,000 females on the planet who think Justin is a must.


only news here on that mine down there is now 3rd explosion of methane. i don't think i was the only one in the world hoping for another Chilean miracle. with our high tech(nology) world why can't these things be prevented?

Unfortunately, there was never any chance in that mine - I feel the press was a little irresponsible focusing on rescue efforts than the reality that they were all dead 30 seconds after the blast.

Horrific business.

Unfortunately, it just can't be prevented. The type of coal at that mine is the one which allows gas to seep through it. In this case, it seems that the shaft must have been too close to a huge pocket of it, which broke through due to a minor fall.

Ka-Boom!

If we choose to mine coal, the risk of it happening is always there. In the case of the Pike River mine, the risks may have been too great to mine it all, but nobody bothered noticed in time.

[prendrelemick]

Well thats the first test all over bar the shouting. They're not the first group of players to be brought low by a Hussey.

There have been developments in the tupping saga. First the good news, Gay tup has turned! or at least gone back into the closet.

The reason (and the bad news) :- Pink tup has injured himself. I think he was attempting a coital encounter in a gateway of frozen and uneven mud, (let this be a warning to you all) and has done his back leg in. Thats him out of action for the rest of the season, and he can no longer dominate Gay Tup- who is discovering the benefits of being Alpha-Ram at the moment.

[The Atheist]

Oh, great news on turning the ram!

I wouldn't give up hope just yet - you just need to bat for 4 1/2 - 5 sessions.

[prendrelemick]

Looks like England are going to save the test match after all. However, they are famous for their mid-order collapse, Infact they have no peers when it comes to that aspect of the game.

As a boy I used to go with my Gran to watch Yorkshire at Bradford. (that was in the days when we had a top team of Yorkshire born players) I remember nearly getting trampled by Barry Ledbetter as he ran to stop a four, and Jeff Boycott called me a daft bugger for sitting too close to the ropes.

My Playing career was a couple of appearences for Luddenden Foot forth team. That ball was just too hard for someone of my good looks and regular features.:D

[The Atheist]

Looks like England are going to save the test match after all.

Amazing day. I bet those smart people who backed the draw at $10 late on the first day are happy, but as you say, there's a little way to go yet. If they can bat until tea, they're fine.

It's clearly going to be a hotly-contested series!

I wasn't keeping up with it at all yesterday - my boy brought home some terrible flu-like virus which has laid me low. Bit better today, thankfully.

[The Atheist]

I see you're having a bit of snow right now in the UK!

Exact opposite here - most of the North Island is in early drought conditions, with temperatures in the mid-20s daily.

[Paulclem]

We've even had snow here in the Midlands. Apparently we haven't had snow this early since '93 - though I don't remember it being particularly bad.

It's a bit cold though, and the ice has hung around for the past three days here. I'll have to leave the bike at home tomorrow. The roads are gritted ok, it's just the unpredictability of it. Late night tomorrow.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Looks like England are going to save the test match after all. However, they are famous for their mid-order collapse, Infact they have no peers when it comes to that aspect of the game.

As a boy I used to go with my Gran to watch Yorkshire at Bradford....and Jeff Boycott called me a daft bugger for sitting too close to the ropes.

My Playing career was a couple of appearences for Luddenden Foot forth team. That ball was just too hard for someone of my good looks and regular features.:D


Amazing day. I bet those smart people who backed the draw at $10 late on the first day are happy, but as you say, there's a little way to go yet. If they can bat until tea, they're fine.

It's clearly going to be a hotly-contested series!


Just to be sure I'm read'n you boys right, we are talking about that cricket game again, right? I take it this is cricket season.

I need a team(?)-(is that the right term ? or is it swarm?) - to follow and support. Do the Czech's have a team?...for that matter does the U.S have a team?

Oh, and could one of you blokes send me that "Cricket for dummies" link again?

The weather here in north Texas is fine with temps is the 50's (F), but it will all change for me as I head back to northern Illinois tomorrow. I haven't paid attention to the weather up there, but I'm sure it is, or soon will be, very cold.


.

[The Atheist]

We've even had snow here in the Midlands. Apparently we haven't had snow this early since '93 - though I don't remember it being particularly bad.

Yes, I see that. They're saying here that it's the strongest la Nina since 1987, when we had a major drought, and the weather is hot enough to cook in the open air at the moment. It's 28-ish with 80% humidity - that's not stuff we usually see until late January.


It's a bit cold though, and the ice has hung around for the past three days here. I'll have to leave the bike at home tomorrow. The roads are gritted ok, it's just the unpredictability of it. Late night tomorrow.]

I love riding bikes - I take the kids for a ride around a huge park down the road most weekends. I am not a fan of sharing rides with cars, though.


Just to be sure I'm read'n you boys right, we are talking about that cricket game again, right? I take it this is cricket season.

The advantage cricket and rugby have over your sports is that they're played in both hemispheres, so it's always the right season!

Cricket even more so than rugby thanks to many of the major participants having longer summers than most - India, West Indies, Sri Lanka & Pakistan. There are always good cricket games going on.

The biggest fixtures in cricket are England v Australia and India v Pakistan - although the latter can have more a nuclear war feel to it sometimes. England/Aussie play for The Ashes.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes)


I need a team(?)-(is that the right term ? or is it swarm?) - to follow and support. Do the Czech's have a team?...for that matter does the U.S have a team?

USA has a team, but they're ranked pretty low.


Oh, and could one of you blokes send me that "Cricket for dummies" link again?

This is good basic stuff. (http://www.cricket-for-parents.com/rules-of-cricket.html)

All the information known to mankind about cricket is here. (http://www.espncricinfo.com/)

[The Atheist]

517/1 declared.

WOW!

(GG, that's the equivalent of a team scoring 23 in an inning at baseball)

[prendrelemick]

Obviously a flat wicket. The best thing about the draw is the way the Aussie media are Handling it. After the first couple of days they were saying England are totally out- classed, and predicting a whitewash. Three days later, and they are demanding wholesale changes to the home side. Mitchell Johnson is to blame for every thing of course.:out:

[Paulclem]

Obviously a flat wicket. The best thing about the draw is the way the Aussie media are Handling it. After the first couple of days they were saying England are totally out- classed, and predicting a whitewash. Three days later, and they are demanding wholesale changes to the home side. Mitchell Johnson is to blame for every thing of course.:out:

And I thouht it was only us who had a rabid press.

[OrphanPip]

I played cricket for a short period in college, I was horrible at it. And the Jamaican security guard kept joining in and creaming us.

There's a strong Caribbean presence in my neighbourhood that meets regularly for cricket games in the park.

[The Atheist]

Obviously a flat wicket. The best thing about the draw is the way the Aussie media are Handling it. After the first couple of days they were saying England are totally out- classed, and predicting a whitewash. Three days later, and they are demanding wholesale changes to the home side. Mitchell Johnson is to blame for every thing of course.:out:

:smilielol5:

Crikey, yes!

The press have been..... changeable?


I played cricket for a short period in college, I was horrible at it. And the Jamaican security guard kept joining in and creaming us.

There's a strong Caribbean presence in my neighbourhood that meets regularly for cricket games in the park.

Pretty to watch, Jamaican fast bowlers, but I'd pass on facing. we had a bloke used to go out wearing almost a suit or armour - he just could not get bat on ball.


I consider myself a pretty open-minded man.

In this thread, it's more the depth your mind gets to rather than the width of it!

:D


Still, I do love a good beer and a rare steak. A good beer = darker than midnight and made by some guy in his basement.

No argument there - especially if the steak's not just rare, but blue.


Having said all that, all I know about cricket is that it takes days to play a proper game, and my Malaysian love it. Perhaps I should look into that cricket for dummies link. Is there one for Rugby as well? I need to freshen up.

Yes, extremely popular in Asia. God help everyone if China ever gets hold of the game. At one end, some Yao Ming-like beast bowling at 173 kmh, with the batsman a Bruce Lee-lookalike who turns the bat an inch and flicks it over the boudary for six.

Malaysia's not too bad as I recall - in the second tier of Kenya, Holland and Scotland etc. Almost as bad as New Zealand, that means.

Here's all you ever need to know about rugby:

The object, just like the NFL, is to get the ball over the goal line. In rugby, you have to actually touch it down to the ground.

The best way to play it is to have this bloke in your team and give him the ball.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYt1TOSni4E

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

This is good basic stuff. (http://www.cricket-for-parents.com/rules-of-cricket.html)

All the information known to mankind about cricket is here. (http://www.espncricinfo.com/)

Thanks for the links.
This could be the year!...the year that I figure it out.

King of the Hill is over, so I shall retire with your links in hand for a little night time reading.

Goodnight.


.

[The Atheist]

Go for it!

When you can come and tell us about the time Walsh got caught at silly point off a Chinaman bowled around the wicket for a golden duck in a wicket maiden, you'll have made it.

Cricket has a language all its own. Just the fielding positions: Gully, point, silly mid-on/off, slip, long on, short leg, square leg... it can even sound a bit naughty when you get one over the slips to stop a maiden.

Classic piece of cricket commentary from the 1970s. Michael Holding of West Indies bowling to England's Peter Willey:

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey."

[prendrelemick]

Or, "There's ----- at Leg slip, standing with his legs apart waiting for a tickle.

That was from the legendary Brian Johnson.

[The Atheist]

How's that weather going over yon?

I see that most of the UK looks to be shut down by snow! At this rate, you may wish to consider an igloo as a sound investment.

[Paulclem]

I'm teaching tonight at a far flung - (for Coventry) - school, so it's not too bad here. My brother in law in Yorkshire is snowed in at home and can't get to work. He's devastated of course.

No doubt Mick's getting the brunt of it. We're due heavy snow tomorrow. Welly time.

[LitNetIsGreat]

I'm teaching tonight at a far flung - (for Coventry) - school, so it's not too bad here. My brother in law in Yorkshire is snowed in at home and can't get to work. He's devastated of course.

No doubt Mick's getting the brunt of it. We're due heavy snow tomorrow. Welly time.

Oh hey, I haven't been in today too and it looks the same tomorrow! Extra beer tonight perhaps? Also, speaking of wellies, I got a new pair today, brilliant ones too, hand made in the UK and they go right up to the knees. I've not had wellies since I was about 12, great stuff. Can't believe your teaching tonight, I'd have though Coventry would be bad as well.

[prendrelemick]

We have had very little snow untill today. The storms have been parting like the red sea and heading Neely's way, missing us out, until today that is when we had about 8 inches. It has been very cold though -12 C last night. It actually warmed up a bit when the snow came.



ps. I was born in wellies.

[Emil Miller]

Also, speaking of wellies, I got a new pair today, brilliant ones too, hand made in the UK and they go right up to the knees. .

Wow, you actually have something made in the UK. If I were you I'd put them up for auction on Ebay or even Christies.

[The Atheist]

... until today that is when we had about 8 inches.

Don't tell soundo!

_____________________________


An aside to the weather - I see a lot of people are on the usual bandwagon of "If global warming is real, how come there are record lows being recorded?" The funny bit is that Kiwis are saying that, despite record highs being recorded right where they live. How hard is it to understand that warming the planet causes more extremes at both ends?

God, people give me the screaming ****s sometimes. Ignorance really is strength.

[Paulclem]

:biggrin5:

It snowed gently all day, and we have some residue from the other night that has frozen and made walking a bit treacherous. Otherwise it's been disappointingly quiet and work-ful.

As the bike is staying at home, I though I'd be catching the 9.30 bus home from outside the school with an ETA home about 10.30. But I got a lift off one of our learners. Excellent! In by 9.30!

Due more snow tonight apparently. We'll see.

[prendrelemick]

Are wellies the last Trustworthy class indicator?

For the knobs there are Le Chameau in muted green, about £200 a pair with optional hob nails and choice of lining.

For the arriviste and upper middle class, the classic Green Hunter. Or lilac ones for their daughters.

For the professional we have a relative newcomer The Dickies Landmaster, made of soft neoprene, ideal for putting in the boot of your BMW when driving the Setters to the park.

The above would have once donned Noras, but they are SO last year!

For the traditionalist there are the black rubber Argyle- goes with a donkey jacket as opposed to the Hunter's Barbour coat.

My own choice is the Dunlop Dee, slightly shorter in length than the above, but light and robust and not expensive. Definetely a working welly, lasts for 6 months of continuous use.

Finally there are those unbranded shiney plastic Wellies in garish colours and designs, found in pound shops and supermarkets. They are for the city dweller who needs something suitable for both Starbucks and wet pavements when the weather turns nasty.

[Paulclem]

Are wellies the last Trustworthy class indicator?

For the knobs there are Le Chameau in muted green, about £200 a pair with optional hob nails and choice of lining.

For the arriviste and upper middle class, the classic Green Hunter. Or lilac ones for their daughters.

For the professional we have a relative newcomer The Dickies Landmaster, made of soft neoprene, ideal for putting in the boot of your BMW when driving the Setters to the park.

The above would have once donned Noras, but they are SO last year!

For the traditionalist there are the black rubber Argyle- goes with a donkey jacket as opposed to the Hunter's Barbour coat.

My own choice is the Dunlop Dee, slightly shorter in length than the above, but light and robust and not expensive. Definetely a working welly, lasts for 6 months of continuous use.

Finally there are those unbranded shiney plastic Wellies in garish colours and designs, found in pound shops and supermarkets. They are for the city dweller who needs something suitable for both Starbucks and wet pavements when the weather turns nasty.

I've definately been at the lower welly end, refusing to pay much for them, but then I don't wear them much.

Do you turn your tops down Mick like the old days?

http://i995.photobucket.com/albums/af75/paulclem1/wellies.jpg

Mine never looked that clean though. Also we would write our names in blue biro across the white bit.

[prendrelemick]

Turndowns are a summer thing, the farmers version of those young girls who tie their blouses up on hot days.

[Paulclem]

Turndowns are a summer thing, the farmers version of those young girls who tie their blouses up on hot days.

:lol:

Superb

I'll remember that and accredit you with it Mick when I explain this practice to my middle class, expensive welly wearing colleagues.

[The Atheist]

I prefer the short, steel-capped version, but I can see the attraction in the turn down.

Who'd have thought a turn down would be a turn on?

[soundofmusic]

:lol:

It's a hanging offence is Yorkshire!



The scanner shows a little more detail than an x-ray photo and that's about all. While the genitals are almost identifiable, the person isn't - the complaints really seem way out of proportion with what the scans actually are. Internal items will show up.

The pat-downs, now that's a different story entirely.

Under breasts, under genitalia, even between genitals, if the complaints are to be believed. I'd probably go with the scan!

So it's like those ugly baby pictures in the abdomen everyone is raving over lately...my friends had one; the baby looked totally different in the light of day.


Well thats the first test all over bar the shouting. They're not the first group of players to be brought low by a Hussey.

There have been developments in the tupping saga. First the good news, Gay tup has turned! or at least gone back into the closet.

The reason (and the bad news) :- Pink tup has injured himself. I think he was attempting a coital encounter in a gateway of frozen and uneven mud, (let this be a warning to you all) and has done his back leg in. Thats him out of action for the rest of the season, and he can no longer dominate Gay Tup- who is discovering the benefits of being Alpha-Ram at the moment.

Horray for the Alpha Ram; I guess pink tup will have to learn the advantages of doing things on his back...



Don't tell soundo!



Did someone say 8 inches, Soundo thought she saw it for a minute; but it was gone before she got the grin off her face:willy_nilly:

[The Atheist]

So it's like those ugly baby pictures in the abdomen everyone is raving over lately...my friends had one; the baby looked totally different in the light of day.

That's a pretty good analogy!

Ugly and you can tell what sex it is, but not much else.

[The Atheist]

Phew!

The weekend draws to a close. Last week of school, to be followed by seven weeks of two brats at home all day.

If I go mad in the meantime, please understand why!

:D

Tip for punters: don't buy NZ lamb just yet - there is about to be a glut of it on the market - some farmland is aready drier than it is in the height of a dry summer, and we've only just started.

[prendrelemick]

where does all the NZ lamb go to these days? Is it China? It used to arrive by the ship load at Liverpool, while ours ws leaving for France, but you hardly see it nowadays. There used to be high profile ad campaigns with Katie Boyle grinning in a 70's kitchen, showing us how to cook and carve a shoulder to feed a family of four for less than 10 shillings.

[The Atheist]

where does all the NZ lamb go to these days? Is it China? It used to arrive by the ship load at Liverpool, while ours ws leaving for France, but you hardly see it nowadays. There used to be high profile ad campaigns with Katie Boyle grinning in a 70's kitchen, showing us how to cook and carve a shoulder to feed a family of four for less than 10 shillings.

The bulk of it now goes to the Middle East countries. China takes the wool but not the meat.

Killing the animals is one of those things that amuse me. We have animal rights idiots crying about battery hens and sow stalls while ignoring the completly inhumane means of killing animals by halal. The farmers are aware of it and a freezing works that has banned halal has animals queued up for miles and is struggling to cope with the numbers.

The trouble is, for the "animal-loving" groups is that crying about halal would mean that they have to say that islam is cruel, and you can't go around upsetting people of other cultures.

Horror conundrum for them, so they just turn the blind eye on it.

[soundofmusic]

I've been getting traumatized on the fashion front. For years they have been telling us how wicked it was to wear animals; now everything from crocodiles to tigers are the rage. :hand:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I know I'm off topic. ( been that way all my life) ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw6Fjo6VXTg&feature=related


.

[prendrelemick]

The trouble is, for the "animal-loving" groups is that crying about halal would mean that they have to say that islam is cruel, and you can't go around upsetting people of other cultures.

Horror conundrum for them, so they just turn the blind eye on it.


Aye, its tough being a bleeding heart liberal at the moment. My heart bleeds for them.:hand:

Worse still are those, Nuclear Power?- No thanks! Activists from the 70s and 80s, all that extra CO2 they've caused, to the ruination of the enviroment.


GG: Off topic? on this thread. Impossible.

[soundofmusic]

I know I'm off topic. ( been that way all my life) ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw6Fjo6VXTg&feature=related


.

What an incredible piece of history...I'm trying to remember what sort of panties we wore back then; I remember showing alot of leg, but never the panties:sosp:

[prendrelemick]

Navy blue, in heavy cotton, at least up to the navel. As far as I remember they were a compulsory part of the girls uniform at our school..

[MANICHAEAN]

I tapped in tonight to get a feet on the ground, touch base reaction to:The FIFA stitch up & Russian Honey Traps for errant British MP's & all I'm coming across is "wellies!" Perhaps I'd better try the "Bach Variations" which seems to be gaining ground in terms of the length of one particular thread.

[prendrelemick]

We like to keep a finger on the pulse here.

[MANICHAEAN]

And thank God you do. Its one of the most sane threads of them all!

[Paulclem]

I know I'm off topic. ( been that way all my life) ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw6Fjo6VXTg&feature=related


.

I can't help thinking that the Mick Jagger school of dancing has a lot to answer for.

I remember the navy belly button warmers. The height of infant school erotica.

Pity we lost the FIFA bid. We've got the Olympics though. One can't be greedy old chap. :D

[The Atheist]

I know I'm off topic. ( been that way all my life) ...

I would have thought that was about as topic as you could be here!


Aye, its tough being a bleeding heart liberal at the moment. My heart bleeds for them.:hand:

Worse still are those, Nuclear Power?- No thanks! Activists from the 70s and 80s, all that extra CO2 they've caused, to the ruination of the enviroment.

Yeah, that drives them nuts!

We still argue about it over here while the world burns.


I tapped in tonight to get a feet on the ground, touch base reaction to:The FIFA stitch up & Russian Honey Traps for errant British MP's & all I'm coming across is "wellies!" Perhaps I'd better try the "Bach Variations" which seems to be gaining ground in terms of the length of one particular thread.

You have to prioritise in life!

:D

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

What an incredible piece of history...I'm trying to remember what sort of panties we wore back then; I remember showing alot of leg, but never the panties:sosp:

When I stumbled on that gem, I just had to share it with the Blokes. I've lost count of replays...that's my kind of gal!


...Perhaps I'd better try the "Bach Variations" which seems to be gaining ground in terms of the length of one particular thread.

You might also be interested in the "Manufacture of Mozart". Now that you mention it, it would be interesting to see where Bac-h-andel stands in comparison to length with Mozart.


...
I remember the navy belly button warmers. The height of infant school erotica.


The height of my juvenile erotica was achieved while watching Lt. Uhura's legs and Yoeman Rand's blonde hair, both from Star Trek.


.

[soundofmusic]

Navy blue, in heavy cotton, at least up to the navel. As far as I remember they were a compulsory part of the girls uniform at our school..

That does sound much more practical; now that I think of it, I only wore pantyhose with a sort of skin colored panty from waist to thigh...




I remember the navy belly button warmers. The height of infant school erotica.



I must admit, there is nothing sexier than a school uniform on a budding body...or maybe that's just in Britney Spears videos; they don't look that sexy in the Harry Potter movies.


When I stumbled on that gem, I just had to share it with the Blokes. I've lost count of replays...that's my kind of gal!

You might also be interested in the "Manufacture of Mozart". Now that you mention it, it would be interesting to see where Bac-h-andel stands in comparison to length with Mozart.

The height of my juvenile erotica was achieved while watching Lt. Uhura's legs and Yoeman Rand's blonde hair, both from Star Trek.

.

I'll have to check out that piece. I never quite got the appeal of Lt. Uhura; all that maroone eye shadow and muscular thighs....:skep:
I liked Shatner before Star Trek...twilight zone time; and the fellow, what was it, pike that got burned later?

[The Atheist]

The height of my juvenile erotica was achieved while watching Lt. Uhura's legs and Yoeman Rand's blonde hair, both from Star Trek.

Oh yes. Those uniforms certainly did it until Valerie Bertinelli came along.


they don't look that sexy in the Harry Potter movies.

You must mean the boys, because Emma Watson is the sexiest thing since Adam discovered it!

[prendrelemick]

I hope that Captain Kirk used protection while he was going boldly.

[prendrelemick]

At times like this I regret there are not more Austrailians on here:biggrin5:


Meanwhile, Atheist can you start rounding up a few votive virgins and change the weather again!

[The Atheist]

At times like this I regret there are not more Austrailians on here:biggrin5:

That's ok - I'm giving them enough for you as well!

:D

Can't wait until #3 starts - a whitewash would be the perfect result.



Meanwhile, Atheist can you start rounding up a few votive virgins and change the weather again!

Bit parky up your way?

I'll see if we can swap for a week or two!

[soundofmusic]

Oh yes. Those uniforms certainly did it until Valerie Bertinelli came along.


You must mean the boys, because Emma Watson is the sexiest thing since Adam discovered it!

Val, really, this I have to see...I don't know, Emma's a bit too flat and bony kneed for my taste.


I hope that Captain Kirk used protection while he was going boldly.

Yeah, Kirk was always getting the girls...the only other guys I remember having girlfriends was Spock during mating season and Stephen Collins in the movie when he melded with the robot copy of his old girlfriend...now that was a man, astigmatism and all...:drool5:

[Silas Thorne]

I used to drool over Jennifer Connelly from 'Labyrinth' when I was a boy. Sadly, when she grew up I wasn't so enamoured. She changed too much.

[Paulclem]

Bit parky up your way?

I'll see if we can swap for a week or two!

Decidedly. this was at one of our venues on Tuesday.

http://i995.photobucket.com/albums/af75/paulclem1/Winter%202010/P071210_1010.jpg

[gbrekken]

i love hoarfrost (pogonip)

[The Atheist]

Decidedly. this was at one of our venues on Tuesday.

Brrrr!

That's looks far too cold for me.

Just at the moment I'll stick with the daily 26 degrees.

You'd just better hope it isn't twice as cold in February!

[Paulclem]

How are the preparations for the annual Cold Ale Christmas Party going?

I'm having a trial run on Saturday - we have been invited to a party. I don't get out... at all ...and so I'll let you know how it goes.

I've also got my Programme Manager's christmas Lunch coming up - which will be more interesting than it sounds - as my mate is a big book fan, and does great impressions.

Are you chaps and Ladies doing anything nice and social over the forthcoming festive season?

[jocky]

How are the preparations for the annual Cold Ale Christmas Party going?

I'm having a trial run on Saturday - we have been invited to a party. I don't get out... at all ...and so I'll let you know how it goes.

I've also got my Programme Manager's christmas Lunch coming up - which will be more interesting than it sounds - as my mate is a big book fan, and does great impressions.

Are you chaps and Ladies doing anything nice and social over the forthcoming festive season?

Well, I don't suppose old Jocky will be invited. I am surprised Paul that you were not down Westminster way pushing a pike on behalf of our students. The nasty sods almost scared the Duchess of Cornwall ,though I don't know who got the biggest fright, them looking in the Bentley or her looking out.

Oh, and by the way Atheist I hope you have noticed that never once have I mentioned that Scotland are the new rugby union champions of the world.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

.

First grekken and now this one returns...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVvKbNb3-VY&feature=related

I knew he'd come back.

.

[jocky]

Mick, I have got a confession to make, it was me that started the campaign to reinstate Shane Warne back to the Aussies. Losing the bid for the World Cup and being shattered in the Ashes would fair warm us up north of the border, but as Confucious says " Man with Flymo should never upset farmer with John Deare. "


First grekken and now this one returns...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVvKbNb3-VY&feature=related

I knew he'd come back.

.

Aye, I am a sucker for punishment. The Ben - Hur treatment I do not deserve. This might interest you, Wiki-Leaks are saving the last for best. They are releasing the cold war alien files and big-foot sightings in an unabridged totally believable pay pal format. Apparently only forty million authorised, unauthorised privates will have exclusive access. The power of Google.

[soundofmusic]

I used to drool over Jennifer Connelly from 'Labyrinth' when I was a boy. Sadly, when she grew up I wasn't so enamoured. She changed too much.

Ooh, David Bowie looked really hot in that movie...


Decidedly. this was at one of our venues on Tuesday.

http://i995.photobucket.com/albums/af75/paulclem1/Winter%202010/P071210_1010.jpg

Wow, is that ice on the branches? I had bits of ice on my windshield when I went out tonight...It's only 55, but the humidity is at 89%


i love hoarfrost (pogonip)

What's whorefrost?

Brrrr!


That's looks far too cold for me.

Just at the moment I'll stick with the daily 26 degrees.

You'd just better hope it isn't twice as cold in February!

What are the kids up to, ATheist...What, no broken bones or eye injuries yet?


How are the preparations for the annual Cold Ale Christmas Party going?

I'm having a trial run on Saturday - we have been invited to a party. I don't get out... at all ...and so I'll let you know how it goes.

I've also got my Programme Manager's christmas Lunch coming up - which will be more interesting than it sounds - as my mate is a big book fan, and does great impressions.

Are you chaps and Ladies doing anything nice and social over the forthcoming festive season?

Sounds exciting. I am invited to the neighbors, every year I try to talk them out of buying gifts...because then, I have to buy gifts; does that sound cheap? Anyway, I have the tree, carolers and village up, most of my daughters presents have arrived (I shopped totally by internet this year) and I'll cook a roast...I've already started eating cookies and adding increasingly more rum in the eggnog.


Well, I don't suppose old Jocky will be invited. I am surprised Paul that you were not down Westminster way pushing a pike on behalf of our students. The nasty sods almost scared the Duchess of Cornwall ,though I don't know who got the biggest fright, them looking in the Bentley or her looking out.

Not only are you invited, you can dress up as Father Christmas:santasmil


First grekken and now this one returns...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVvKbNb3-VY&feature=related

I knew he'd come back.

.
:ladysman: All together for Christmas...where is Parker, we have to buy more booze!

[jocky]

Remember last Xmas! That was some disaster, if I ever get my hands on the son of a ***** who mentioned the turkey sandwiches again I will ...... Mind you remember the trifle and the presents. Who says the Scots are greedy ? Cheers Soundo and thanks for your humanity.

[Paulclem]

Hi Jocky. Nice to see you back.

Sounds - whorefrost is that look you get when... no never mind. But yes - that's ice on the tree. We had a freezing fog which coats everything. Looks amazing.

I now what you mean about the presents - it's got to stop somewhere. Surely a bit of eggnog and cheer is enough for neighbours.

[The Atheist]

How are the preparations for the annual Cold Ale Christmas Party going?

Good!

I'm getting Mumford & Sons to play a set for us as we get into the Guinness!


The nasty sods almost scared the Duchess of Cornwall ,though I don't know who got the biggest fright, them looking in the Bentley or her looking out.

:smilielol5:

That's what I thought!

Good to see you back, mate!


Oh, and by the way Atheist I hope you have noticed that never once have I mentioned that Scotland are the new rugby union champions of the world.

Yes, that was an excellent effort.

We have the cup waiting for you next year.

[soundofmusic]

Remember last Xmas! That was some disaster, if I ever get my hands on the son of a ***** who mentioned the turkey sandwiches again I will ...... Mind you remember the trifle and the presents. Who says the Scots are greedy ? Cheers Soundo and thanks for your humanity.

What, turkey sandwiches, at least the little women should hide the turkey in Bisquick or chow mein:shocked:
Greedy, surely not, you'd give away your last bit of cash to help your fellow man and then pass the hat....Oops, I left my wallet at home:blush5:


Hi Jocky. Nice to see you back.

Sounds - whorefrost is that look you get when... no never mind. But yes - that's ice on the tree. We had a freezing fog which coats everything. Looks amazing.

I now what you mean about the presents - it's got to stop somewhere. Surely a bit of eggnog and cheer is enough for neighbours.

Ah yes, whorefrost is what you call it? Yes, I think the young gigolo gave me a look like that :dupe:
Well, thank you for understanding, the neighbors just think I'm hording my gold...I don't really get it, one has 16 grandchildren to buy for and still turns up every year with a pair of too small slippers or a strange scented candle for me.

[jocky]

Now, don't get me wrong here but the truth has to be told. Now I have to admit I don't believe in God or Gods but there is a malevolent being out there. This may be dualistic thinking but I am not so sure. How come every time I press my trousers the milk bottle falls on the crease and when I try to shave it is a scrape because sonny boy has been using my razor ? There may be more to this than meets the eye.

[prendrelemick]

What you say has merit Jocky. I too have noticed a conspiricy of inanimate (supposedly) objects to confound my simple desires:- The piece of toast that lands butter side down, the pound coin that rolls under the sofa, the TV remote that lays just out of reach. They claim of course to be merely following the laws of physics, but I know better.

[jocky]

There was a young dude called Gilliatt
who believed in Sasquatch and all of that
till he met Emmy Lou
whom he intercoursed in the zoo
and that was the end of the bigfoot younger brat

The last line does not work and that has devestated me, but I have introduced a new verb into the English language ' intercoursed ' it is good and you can use it in many variations. Pose, preen and soforth.

[jocky]

i love hoarfrost (pogonip)

In Jockland it is known as hoorfrost ( MacBartism )

[The Atheist]

Now, don't get me wrong here but the truth has to be told. Now I have to admit I don't believe in God or Gods but there is a malevolent being out there. This may be dualistic thinking but I am not so sure. How come every time I press my trousers the milk bottle falls on the crease and when I try to shave it is a scrape because sonny boy has been using my razor ? There may be more to this than meets the eye.

:lol:

That's that Irish bastard Murphy!

[jocky]

:lol:

That's that Irish bastard Murphy!

You know me and you are buddies but I have to dissassociate myself from your comment on the entirely reasonable grounds that I have just heard that ' Apeneck Sweeney ' has applied to subscribe. Now we have got time Atheist as he is not the brightest but if he sees this, which he eventually will ,God help us. From your good mate GILLIATT. :D:D

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

There was a young dude called Gilliatt
who believed in Sasquatch and all of that
till he met Emmy Lou
whom he intercoursed in the zoo
and that was the end of the bigfoot younger brat

The last line does not work and that has devestated me, but I have introduced a new verb into the English language ' intercoursed ' it is good and you can use it in many variations. Pose, preen and soforth.

Bigfoot and Lefty
As told by Emmylou Harris

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMPydiR4NaQ&feature=related


"Living in the woods my friend
Was gonna keep you aloof and lean
Now you wear your fur like iron
Your foot’s as big as Jethro Bodine

You weren't your mama's only boy
But her favorite one it seems
She began to cry when you said goodbye
And went back to her Jack Links and beans

(refrain)

All the TBRC hunters say
They could have tranquilized him any day
They only let him slip away
To keep the legend alive I suppose.

http://www.texasbigfoot.org/

Lefty he can't sing the blues
He’s agitated by the size of his shoes
and choking on dander from Bigfoot’s fur
that ended up in Lefty's mouth."

(repeat refrain)

.

[jocky]

Bigfoot and Lefty
As told by Emmylou Harris

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMPydiR4NaQ&feature=related


"Living in the woods my friend
Was gonna keep you aloof and lean
Now you wear your fur like iron
Your foot’s as big as Jethro Bodine

You weren't your mama's only boy
But her favorite one it seems
She began to cry when you said goodbye
And went back to her Jack Links and beans

(refrain)

All the TBRC hunters say
They could have tranquilized him any day
They only let him slip away
To keep the legend alive I suppose.

http://www.texasbigfoot.org/

Lefty he can't sing the blues
He’s agitated by the size of his shoes
and choking on dander from Bigfoot’s fur
that ended up in Lefty's mouth."

(repeat refrain)

.

And who prithee is Jethro Bodine and furthermore why are you desecrating Emmylou's lyrics? I admit your doggerel is doggone better than mine, by a long way , but at least I don't stoop to wrecking a ballad just to slip in the TBRC. Does bad literature know no peramaters? Your just green with jealousy because you never came up with ' intercoursing ' This will really get up your nose I have seen the very latest Bigfoot movie and it is a real hoot. There!

How about the Bloke's thread Shakespeare Christmas Play. It can be Tragedy or Comedy or what you will.

First Clown: Marry, methinks I see a ... nay I know not what, methinks it is nine times three doubly, doubly rebounded! What ho a stranger comes hence. Aside ... Cease thy damned knocking. Softly, away, away....(Follow that)......

[prendrelemick]

I met a fool in the forest
So wrote the immortal Bard,
He lived upon the tourist,
And measured his feet by the yard.



How about, Hamlet vs Othello -This time it's personal!

[jocky]

I met a fool in the forest
So wrote the immortal Bard,
He lived upon the tourist,
And measured his feet by the yard.



How about, Hamlet vs Othello -This time it's personal!

Go to, Go to. As long as no one mentions the Mobbled Queen. :)

You realise, of course, that there is better than an even chance that the Bard was Scottish. Hume, Adam Smith, Burns and perhaps, maybe Shakespeare and where does that leave you? Jeffrey Archer, Kane and nae Able. No matter!

[The Atheist]

You realise, of course, that there is better than an even chance that the Bard was Scottish.

Did he play for Hawick?

[jocky]

Aye, and apparently he was a left footer , but this is just hearsay you understand. However in my humble opinion no one could have written The Scottish Play ( Wiki leaks could be hacking in ) without the necessary inside info. You know Mick he gets very touchy about these things. Just another wee point to finish with. We are trying to pass a law which states categorically that no rugby team from whatsover nation are allowed to enact the HAKA and fear us to death before the match at Murrayfield. This applies to all nations to whomsover this may refer to. :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

How about the Bloke's thread Shakespeare Christmas Play. It can be Tragedy or Comedy or what you will.

First Clown: Marry, methinks I see a ... nay I know not what, methinks it is nine times three doubly, doubly rebounded! What ho a stranger comes hence. Aside ... Cease thy damned knocking. Softly, away, away....(Follow that)......2


I met a fool in the forest
So wrote the immortal Bard,
He lived upon the tourist,
And measured his feet by the yard.6


Preening his fur by the fire,
A careless move on his part.
Fur balls sparked by the pyre,
He must now wear a wig to the mart. 10




And who prithee is Jethro Bodine and furthermore why are you desecrating Emmylou's lyrics? I admit your doggerel is doggone better than mine, by a long way , but at least I don't stoop to wrecking a ballad just to slip in the TBRC. Does bad literature know no peramaters? Your just green with jealousy because you never came up with ' intercoursing ' This will really get up your nose I have seen the very latest Bigfoot movie and it is a real hoot. There!

Haha - touche. I bow to your originality and apparent youth based on the new avatar and signoff quote!

Jethro Bodine; a quintessential Hillbilly and highly underrated American icon:

(the first minute or so is enough)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5aNn4Sfmas&feature=related

[jocky]

Preening his fur by the fire,
A careless move on his part.
Fur balls sparked by the pyre,
He must now wear a wig to the mart. 10





Haha - touche. I bow to your originality and apparent youth based on the new avatar and signoff quote!

Jethro Bodine; a quintessential Hillbilly and highly underrated American icon:

(the first minute or so is enough)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5aNn4Sfmas&feature=related

Listen I loved Ma, Pa and Jethro as much as the next man, but Ellie May was something to behold. As to you awarding me a straight 2, you might have made it a 2 and a half. As to giving Mick a 6 you will only encourage him. Remember I can only go up and he has got to go down. Swings and roundabouts Old chap, swings and roundabouts. Damn I might get a 1. You fly git you awarded yourself a 10. Gilliatt is not playing with a straight bat and I am demanding a 4 by 4 ruling.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... As to you awarding me a straight 2, you might have made it a 2 and a half. As to giving Mick a 6 you will only encourage him. Remember I can only go up and he has got to go down. Swings and roundabouts Old chap, swings and roundabouts. Damn I might get a 1. You fly git you awarded yourself a 10.

No, no... those are the stanza(?)/ line(?) counts.
You know...the little numbers off to the side of poems.
If we are to construct this monumental piece, then we must have reference points along the way. Sort of like breaking twigs along the trail, or wedging fur in bark.
Your first entry had two lines, Mick's - 4, etc.

Go back to the heath
and snort some ale
conjur up more lines
so we may continue this tale.

.

[jocky]

:D
No, no... those are the stanza(?)/ line(?) counts.
You know...the little numbers off to the side of poems.
If we are to construct this monumental piece, then we must have reference points along the way. Sort of like breaking twigs along the trail, or wedging fur in bark.
Your first entry had two lines, Mick's - 4, etc.

Go back to the heath
and snort some ale
conjur up more lines
so we may continue this tale.

.



:D Pretty cool and I do agree that The Ancient Mariner uses this marginal system, but I am still demanding my 4 by 4 ruling. Only Atheist can arbitrate this even though he will not have a scooby what I am on about. Higher powers Gilly , higher powers.

[gbrekken]

hALF A ZILLION Subjects in 30 secs. orvless more in tyhe a.m here

i love murphy!

longer story later, but what's the cricket eqivalent of hitting/batting a homerun?


:D



:D Pretty cool and I do agree that The Ancient Mariner uses this marginal system, but I am still demanding my 4 by 4 ruling. Only Atheist can arbitrate this even though he will not have a scooby what I am on about. Higher powers Gilly , higher powers.

i like the works.

[jocky]

hALF A ZILLION Subjects in 30 secs. orvless more in tyhe a.m here

i love murphy!

longer story later, but what's the cricket eqivalent of hitting/batting a homerun?

:D I am just away to my kip but I feel it is My Scottish duty to intervene before Mick of the Vale gets in. Kevin Peterson as he only hits centuries in the Ashes, which only happens bi-annually. I hope that cleared things up to no ones satisfaction, but it was a fine intervention . Howzat! :D


hALF A ZILLION Subjects in 30 secs. orvless more in tyhe a.m here

i love murphy!

longer story later, but what's the cricket eqivalent of hitting/batting a homerun?

O.K I will hang around for a few more nana-seconds for the Murphy story, but it better be good as you know I have a 4x4 hearing first thing in the morning. Feet tapping I am waiting, this better be good.......

Gbrekken, you just did that intentionally while you are googling all the Murphy stories. That is it, this is a clear, murky wind up. Goodnight! :)

[prendrelemick]

Jocky, I can't help noticing that while we Gentlemen of England are abed and holding our manhoods cheaply, you seem to be reluctant to go up. I hope mrs Jocky isn't making unreasonable demands.

To be or not to be bewigged.
To walk, or travel round well horsed,
(That line had to be re-jigged
to rhyme with intercoursed)

[The Atheist]

Poems!

The laddie fancies himself a poet!

Rubbish!

Roger Waters, The Wall.


Aye, and apparently he was a left footer , but this is just hearsay you understand.

:smilielol5:

Oh, I bet he was.


However in my humble opinion no one could have written The Scottish Play ( Wiki leaks could be hacking in ) without the necessary inside info.

I remember the Scottish Play!

That was where Willie-John Mcbride peeled off the lineout, cut-out pass to John Jeffrey for a barnstorming, high knee-action run to the goalposts.


We are trying to pass a law which states categorically that no rugby team from whatsover nation are allowed to enact the HAKA and fear us to death before the match at Murrayfield. This applies to all nations to whomsover this may refer to. :)

You'll actually get quite a lot of support over here for that.

The boofheads (83% of rugby supporters) love it for the aggression it shows, while the rest feel it's a stupid anachronism, horribly overdone and not something that needs to be on a rugby paddock.

Maybe Scotland should try the old "reverse kilt haka" to see how that goes down.

Puerile nonsense.


Listen I loved Ma, Pa and Jethro as much as the next man, but Ellie May was something to behold. As to you awarding me a straight 2, you might have made it a 2 and a half. As to giving Mick a 6 you will only encourage him. Remember I can only go up and he has got to go down. Swings and roundabouts Old chap, swings and roundabouts. Damn I might get a 1. You fly git you awarded yourself a 10. Gilliatt is not playing with a straight bat and I am demanding a 4 by 4 ruling.

Heck, even I knew Gilliatt was doing the counting thing!

Ellie-May, slightly before my time, but I certainly ...
,,,,,admired her in repeats.


No, no... those are the stanza(?)/ line(?) counts.
You know...the little numbers off to the side of poems.

Even I knew that! It amazed the hell out of me, actually.


If we are to construct this monumental piece, then we must have reference points along the way.

I'll leave you to count, and I bet you never find anything I write to put a number on.

I'm a Phillipino.... Philistinian .... Philidelphian...

...one of those people with no music or poetry in their soul.


. Howzat! :D

Only three more sleeps!

[jocky]

I hope mrs Jocky isn't making unreasonable demands.



Fat chance of that Mick. Mrs Jocky and I are not on speaking terms at the moment or to be more precise she is not speaking to me. All because I declared my intention of going through to cut the Widow MacKenzie's grass. She gave me a look which I can only describe as sheer malevolence as she stated through gritted teeth " At eleven o' clock at night, that will be right ". I have to go now as I have a mountain of dishes to do. Women can be so petty.

[Paulclem]

Fat chance of that Mick. Mrs Jocky and I are not on speaking terms at the moment or to be more precise she is not speaking to me. All because I declared my intention of going through to cut the Widow MacKenzie's grass. She gave me a look which I can only describe as sheer malevolence as she stated through gritted teeth " At eleven o' clock at night, that will be right ". I have to go now as I have a mountain of dishes to do. Women can be so petty.

Sympathies. A week, or maybe two, of penitence looms. Exrtra housework, kindly words and smiles rebuffed. Perhaps an unscheduled holiday, or an expensive item of jewellery. Maybe a candlelit dinner.

Of course this may be anathema to the Jocksman, who may decide to sweat it out. :D

[The Atheist]

Fat chance of that Mick. Mrs Jocky and I are not on speaking terms at the moment or to be more precise she is not speaking to me. All because I declared my intention of going through to cut the Widow MacKenzie's grass. She gave me a look which I can only describe as sheer malevolence as she stated through gritted teeth " At eleven o' clock at night, that will be right ". I have to go now as I have a mountain of dishes to do. Women can be so petty.

You're a saint!

How your wife can object to such an altruistic gesture astonishes me.

Hard, hard woman.

[gbrekken]

great audio/video of the Metrodome roof's 4th collapse on Fox Sports. having lived in those environs it just goes to show that a teflon roof supported by nothing but hot air doesn't cut it in that climate.

Think I'll cancel plans to visit London and enroll at University. Unless of course I'm invited to ride in the royal Rolls, just to hear Camilla/Charles response to such an affront.

No need to google this Murphy's Law: what can go wrong will go wrong. So, when you drop your buttered bread it lands on the buttered side. It's merely karma gents.

Hopefully by now Jocky has learned to hit an inside the park homer, sliding safely into home, able to pick up his bat (straight or not) and do it all over again, much to the joy of the participants. (Stick it between the wickets man!) If that's not clear, grab a bottle, pour a shot, say "here's mud in your eye", and enjoy the day anyway.

Many happy karmic returns on the day to y'all. Perhaps even Soundo will learn the meaning of pogonip (easier to spell than hoarfrost).

Keep up the great poetic works as well! Oh, and Elly Mae had nothing over Daisy Duke of Hazzard County Kentucky.

[The Atheist]

great audio/video of the Metrodome roof's 4th collapse on Fox Sports. having lived in those environs it just goes to show that a teflon roof supported by nothing but hot air doesn't cut it in that climate.

Nice video!

Funny how people forget about how snow is made up of water, which is actually reasonably heavy stuff.

We had a smaller stadium get crushed under snow even though it had a steel roof just a couple of months back.
(http://www.stuff.co.nz/southland-times/news/4425518/Report-into-collapse-of-stadium-with-lawyer)



Think I'll cancel plans to visit London and enroll at University. Unless of course I'm invited to ride in the royal Rolls, just to hear Camilla/Charles response to such an affront.

I'd love to know if Chuck just thought for even a second of his predecessor namesake.


Oh, and Elly Mae had nothing over Daisy Duke of Hazzard County Kentucky.

Or Petticoat Junction (http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2857208064/tt0056780)!

I always found myself drawn to the blondes when I was a kid.

Nothing changes.

[gbrekken]

petticoat junction was just down the RR tracks from hooterville where green acres were. my favorite is the three females bathing in the train's water tower 9steam engine days)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...URL="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2857208064/tt0056780"]Or Petticoat Junction[/URL]!

I always found myself drawn to the blondes when I was a kid.




petticoat junction was just down the RR tracks from hooterville where green acres were. my favorite is the three females bathing in the train's water tower 9steam engine days)

Another great TV classic...

"Come ride the little train that is rollin down the tracks to the junction..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAksyiSPm5s&feature=related

-------------------

If I may shift gears and take inventory of our tale.
Here's what we have so far:

J=Jocky; P=Prendrelemick; G=Gilliatt; TVZ= Townes van Zandt (Lyrics to Pancho and Lefty)

There was a young dude called Gilliatt
who believed in Sasquatch and all of that
till he met Emmy Lou
whom he intercoursed in the zoo
and that was the end of the bigfoot younger brat 5 J

First Clown: Marry, methinks I see a ... nay I know not what, methinks it is nine times three doubly, doubly rebounded!
What ho a stranger comes hence.
(Aside) ... Cease thy damned knocking.
Softly, away, away....(Follow that)...... 9 J

I met a fool in the forest
So wrote the immortal Bard,
He lived upon the tourist,
And measured his feet by the yard. 13 P

Living in the woods my friend
Was gonna keep you aloof and lean
Now you wear your fur like iron
Your foot’s as big as Jethro Bodine 17 G/TVZ

You weren't your mama's only boy
But her favorite one it seems
She began to cry when you said goodbye
And went back to her Jack Links and beans 21 G/TVZ

(refrain)
All the TBRC hunters say
They could have tranquilized him any day
They only let him slip away
To keep the legend alive I suppose. 25 G/TVZ

Lefty he can't sing the blues
He’s agitated by the size of his shoes
and choking on dander from Bigfoot’s fur
that ended up in Lefty's mouth." 29 G/TVZ
(repeat refrain)

Preening his fur by the fire,
A careless move on his part.
Fur balls sparked by the pyre,
He must now wear a wig to the mart. 33 G

Go back to the heath
and snort some ale
conjure up more lines
so we may continue this tale. 37 G

To be or not to be bewigged.
To walk, or travel round well horsed,
(That line had to be re-jigged
to rhyme with intercoursed) 41 P


.

[The Atheist]

That will all be published someday.

1000 years from now, they'll be looking back in admiration at the skill of the writers.


petticoat junction was just down the RR tracks from hooterville where green acres were. my favorite is the three females bathing in the train's water tower 9steam engine days)

Yes, a great start! I bet that was a popular spot on the line.

Did they call hooters hooters in those days?

[Silas Thorne]

Did they call hooters hooters in those days?

Or flubbly jubblies? I love the sound of that word, it's so evocative. :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Did they call hooters hooters in those days?

Interesting question.
Gbrekken might be able to reveal a little more on that.
The terms of endearment that I recall...knockers, inflated jibs or spinnakers.


Or flubbly jubblies? I love the sound of that word, it's so evocative. :)

Mr. Thorne!
By God if anyone can help weave our tail, it is Mr. Thorne!
Bring this man a drink
and let him think

.

[Silas Thorne]

I'm very confused. Which topic are we on again? My mind has stuck on the broken record of Mamory. Is this the creation of some limerick on the wonder of the mountains? Or on wondrous mountains?

Looking down, we see the mountains,
above is sky.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Something Jocky started regarding gigantopithicus.
He'll have to explain, but don't hold your breath waiting; Jocky sleeps a lot.

.

[soundofmusic]

Now, don't get me wrong here but the truth has to be told. Now I have to admit I don't believe in God or Gods but there is a malevolent being out there. This may be dualistic thinking but I am not so sure. How come every time I press my trousers the milk bottle falls on the crease and when I try to shave it is a scrape because sonny boy has been using my razor ? There may be more to this than meets the eye.

You think you have it bad, Jocky, imagine having projections from your chest that knock the milk jug over when you eat....you men have it made:smilielol5:


What you say has merit Jocky. I too have noticed a conspiricy of inanimate (supposedly) objects to confound my simple desires:- The piece of toast that lands butter side down, the pound coin that rolls under the sofa, the TV remote that lays just out of reach. They claim of course to be merely following the laws of physics, but I know better.

And everyone wonders why I eat with a row of paper towels attached to my neck; wearing nothing but my skivvies:D


Sympathies. A week, or maybe two, of penitence looms. Exrtra housework, kindly words and smiles rebuffed. Perhaps an unscheduled holiday, or an expensive item of jewellery. Maybe a candlelit dinner.

Of course this may be anathema to the Jocksman, who may decide to sweat it out. :D

You see, gentlemen, this is why Paul is able to get the Mrs. to come out to the fields with him on the weekend.:thumbsup:


petticoat junction was just down the RR tracks from hooterville where green acres were. my favorite is the three females bathing in the train's water tower 9steam engine days)

I never realized how suggestive those sitcom titles were...I think the females should bath in the creek; imagine brushing your teeth one day and finding a press on nail or worse...:ack2:


Something Jocky started regarding gigantopithicus.
He'll have to explain, but don't hold your breath waiting; Jocky sleeps a lot.

.

I never realized you were such a gifted limerick writer Gilliatt....




Did they call hooters hooters in those days?

I think in those days, eyes and owls were known as hooters:smilielol5:

[The Atheist]

You think you have it bad, Jocky, imagine having projections from your chest that knock the milk jug over when you eat....you men have it made:smilielol5:

Most blokes dream of waking up with that problem!



I never realized how suggestive those sitcom titles were...I think the females should bath in the creek; imagine brushing your teeth one day and finding a press on nail or worse...:ack2:

:smilielol5:

No, they filled the engine from the pool tank, not the drinking jugs.

I'd have to say, with those three swimming in it, I'd have no problem drinking it!

[jocky]

To change tack here ( as jocky does a neat body swerve on the poetry ) Spare a thought for the Right Honourable Jeffrey Hunt MP who was Spoonerised three times in a 48 hour period by three different journalists. Being the Minister for Culture do you suppose he would have appreciated the ironic value in this ?

[gbrekken]

sweat off dolly parton"s chest?: mountain dew

i'll check my oed for hooters whilst imagining sounds giving me gentle quick double slaps in the face.

don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.

did you see those knockers? what company made those over the shoulder boulder holders?

turn down the brights on those headlights girl

more later

pity the MP that doesn't appreciate oxymoronerisms

[The Atheist]

To change tack here ( as jocky does a neat body swerve on the poetry ) Spare a thought for the Right Honourable Jeffrey Hunt MP who was Spoonerised three times in a 48 hour period by three different journalists. Being the Minister for Culture do you suppose he would have appreciated the ironic value in this ?

Brilliant!

I doubt he got the irony, somehow.


what company made those over the shoulder boulder holders?

My 8yo boy now uses that term!

The kids had never heard it and we were discussing old slang the other day. That one struck a chord - someone should post it in the old words thread.

:smilielol5:



pity the MP that doesn't appreciate oxymoronerisms

10/10

We should try bottling the humour in this place; the world would be a lot better with it spread around. People take life far too seriously.

[Paulclem]

I've heard the word zeppelins used before.

I've been glancing in occaisionally. Are we writing a play in the style of the venerable William/

[jocky]

I've heard the word zeppelins used before.

I've been glancing in occaisionally. Are we writing a play in the style of the venerable William/

That is an old term which may be extant only in a few teachers staff rooms. The advent of bazookas made them redundant.

Er, the play you say. It all depends on who you mean by the venerable William. If you mean Shakespeare it falls a mite short but if, of course, you mean the inimitable William Topaz McGonnagall then I should say we have reached an exceptionally high standard. :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I never realized you were such a gifted limerick writer Gilliatt....



Thanks...I suppose, but credit must go to others as well. This is a team effort. By the way we are waiting on your contribution along with a few others.


...those headlights...


I've heard the word zeppelins used before.

I've been glancing in occaisionally. Are we writing a play in the style of the venerable William/

Yes, I forgot about headlights.
I like "Zeppelins".
I now recall "tuning dials" as in HAM radio..."come in Tokyo...come in Rangoon"



Er, the play you say. It all depends on who you mean by the venerable William. If you mean Shakespeare it falls a mite short but if, of course, you mean the inimitable William Topaz MacGonnogal then I should say we have reached an exceptionally high standard. :)

I've lost track, is it a play or a lost Chaucer tail?
Either way, I believe the idea is to wrap it up in time to read at the Christmas party.


.

[jocky]

Either way, I believe the idea is to wrap it up in time to read at the Christmas party.


.

It behoves me not to rush our play
The epic will be a wrap by Xmas day
One must allow for unforseen mishaps
bruised egos, disputes and well laid traps
Anon, the kilted one must flee the stage
To finish my chores or face Madam's rage.

[The Atheist]

I've heard the word zeppelins used before.

I've been glancing in occaisionally. Are we writing a play in the style of the venerable William/

Zeppelins, yes, I'd even forgotten about them.

Only the really big 'uns.


It behoves me not to rush our play
The epic will be a wrap by Xmas day
One must allow for unforseen mishaps
bruised egos, disputes and well laid traps
Anon, the kilted one must flee the stage
To finish my chores or face Madam's rage.

Even the other William is turning in his grave at the beauty and symmetry of it all.

I almost shed a tear.

Onions get me every time.

[soundofmusic]

Most blokes dream of waking up with that problem

I know what you mean; we ladies, well I, anyway, have often thought exactly the same thing about male appendages...it just seems like such a job to keep the opposite sex appeased and pleased all the time just to have the occasional romantic evening;
But, then I think of all the bother if I possesed my own appendage: prostate problems, premature and prolonged, headaches with viagra...:cryin:


sweat off dolly parton"s chest?: mountain dew

i'll check my oed for hooters whilst imagining sounds giving me gentle quick double slaps in the face.

don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.

did you see those knockers? what company made those over the shoulder boulder holders?

turn down the brights on those headlights girl

more later

pity the MP that doesn't appreciate oxymoronerisms

brilliant :smilielol5:


Thanks...I suppose, but credit must go to others as well. This is a team effort. By the way we are waiting on your contribution along with a few others.


Yes, I forgot about headlights.
I like "Zeppelins".
I now recall "tuning dials" as in HAM radio..."come in Tokyo...come in Rangoon"

I've lost track, is it a play or a lost Chaucer tail?
Either way, I believe the idea is to wrap it up in time to read at the Christmas party.

.
Oh, I could never add to the great verse you and Jocky are putting together.
God help us from men who think we have operational areolas....:hand:


It behoves me not to rush our play
The epic will be a wrap by Xmas day
One must allow for unforseen mishaps
bruised egos, disputes and well laid traps
Anon, the kilted one must flee the stage
To finish my chores or face Madam's rage.

Lovely Jocky, is that fine young man in your avatar you?

[Paulclem]

It behoves me not to rush our play
The epic will be a wrap by Xmas day
One must allow for unforseen mishaps
bruised egos, disputes and well laid traps
Anon, the kilted one must flee the stage
To finish my chores or face Madam's rage.

For Madam thinks she always rules the roost,
And so her ego I shall give a boost.
But as I scrub the dishes, wipe the plates,
And let her off to nightclubs with her mates,
I snigger to myself for I still know,
That even as I clean I rule the show.
To other's eye it seems my claim's a sham,
With all the work I have to sweat and cram.
And as you toast your friends and glasses clink
I know my place, it's she who only thinks.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

It behoves me not to rush our play
The epic will be a wrap by Xmas day
One must allow for unforseen mishaps
bruised egos, disputes and well laid traps
Anon, the kilted one must flee the stage
To finish my chores or face Madam's rage.


For Madam thinks she always rules the roost,
And so her ego I shall give a boost.
But as I scrub the dishes, wipe the plates,
And let her off to nightclubs with her mates,
I snigger to myself for I still know,
That even as I clean I rule the show.
To other's eye it seems my claim's a sham,
With all the work I have to sweat and cram.
And as you toast your friends and glasses clink
I know my place, it's she who only thinks.

Brilliant !!!!!!
You guys are nothing….nothing but pure genius.
As your Troop scribe, I will now add these two installments to the tail of the Tale.
The Flat Earth Poets Society (FEPS) now recognizes “PC” who is hereby added to bard list.



Oh, I could never add to the great verse you and Jocky are putting together.


Nonsense !!!
Do you honestly consider this great verse?
I know it's in you. Perhaps the governess, Edelweiss, a doe, a deer...

Please forgive me, I've had a little too much wine tonight.


Gilliatt

[prendrelemick]

No use crying over spilt milk,
But lethal weapons of that ilk,
Those blunt, milk-jugg-knockers,
Should be kept firmly in their lockers.
Or handled with the utmost care,
Lest they ruin all your breakfast fare.


To change tack here ( as jocky does a neat body swerve on the poetry ) Spare a thought for the Right Honourable Jeffrey Hunt MP who was Spoonerised three times in a 48 hour period by three different journalists. Being the Minister for Culture do you suppose he would have appreciated the ironic value in this ?

I think he would, he is a shining wit and a smart fella:)

[jocky]

Even the other William is turning in his grave at the beauty and symmetry of it all.



Aw shucks Atheist, they say talent will always rise to the surface just like seagull guano. :)






Lovely Jocky, is that fine young man in your avatar you?

Unfortunately no. It is a very young Ewan MacGregor, although many wise ladies who know about these things say he looks very like me. :yesnod:


Brilliant !!!!!!
You guys are nothing….nothing but pure genius.



Gilliatt

More than you think. Paul has just produced a near perfect decima the only difference being he has produced an AABBCCDDEE as opposed to an ABBAACCDDC. This genre used to be widely used in Spain and is very popular among the Cuban and Peurto Rican Literatti. We have a literary gem on our little thread and we need to cherish and defer to him always. :)


I think he would, he is a shining wit and a smart fella:)

I hope his lovely wife Candy appreciates the nuances of the most vulgar of Spoonerisms. :D

[The Atheist]

Aw shucks Atheist, they say talent will always rise to the surface just like seagull guano. :)

Which in a delightful irony is the main ingredient of ANFO explosive.



I hope his lovely wife Candy appreciates the nuances of the most vulgar of Spoonerisms. :D

You're kidding? His wife is honestly Candy?

[Paulclem]

You Gentlemen are too kind. I think as a group we should be able to come up with a fitting tribute to "Topaz" McGonnagall.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

No use crying over spilt milk,
But lethal weapons of that ilk,
Those blunt, milk-jugg-knockers,
Should be kept firmly in their lockers.
Or handled with the utmost care,
Lest they ruin all your breakfast fare.


Thou furry knave go sweep the floor
The Lucky Charms and grits du jour
Spotless I expect the floor to be
Or the contents of my locker you’ll never see.

Go now and empty my chamber pot
A loathsome task for thy male lot.
Let not a foul drop escape the rim
You'll scrub the floor with your gin.


.

[prendrelemick]

Furry knave?:D

[jocky]

Furry knave?:D

It works! This is all part of new poetry where iambic pentameter is the perfect medium for rap. Read it aloud in the new idiom and all will become muddy clear. The new Norton Anthology explains it all. Now I am off to book me and the wife's dream holiday, we depart on the 21st of December 2012. What could possibly go wrong?

[prendrelemick]

Never mind the 1ambus, I shall wait for the 2am bus

[soundofmusic]

For Madam thinks she always rules the roost,
And so her ego I shall give a boost.
But as I scrub the dishes, wipe the plates,
And let her off to nightclubs with her mates,
I snigger to myself for I still know,
That even as I clean I rule the show.
To other's eye it seems my claim's a sham,
With all the work I have to sweat and cram.
And as you toast your friends and glasses clink
I know my place, it's she who only thinks.

Great prose and plan, without the worries and brainwork you'll live to be 100!


Brilliant !!!!!!
You guys are nothing….nothing but pure genius.

I know it's in you. Perhaps the governess, Edelweiss, a doe, a deer...

Please forgive me, I've had a little too much wine tonight.

Gilliatt

:smilielol5: Hum, I feel a full musical coming on here....


No use crying over spilt milk,
But lethal weapons of that ilk,
Those blunt, milk-jugg-knockers,
Should be kept firmly in their lockers.
Or handled with the utmost care,
Lest they ruin all your breakfast fare.


:smilielol5: Beautiful!




Unfortunately no. It is a very young Ewan MacGregor, although many wise ladies who know about these things say he looks very like me. :yesnod:



Odd, I thought Ewan was shorter:sosp:




You're kidding? His wife is honestly Candy?

I had a doll named Candy once: it was very pretty, wore a lovely party dress and kept its legs open:D

[gbrekken]

If I'd a Mrs. she'd threaten me with mopping the floor with my furry chin, not gin.

be that as it may

There once was a bloke in Ferntucky,
went to the bar to feel lucky,
twas not to be,
he sits in the tree, not even
feeling plucky.

[jocky]

If I'd a Mrs. she'd threaten me with mopping the floor with my furry chin, not gin.

be that as it may

There once was a bloke in Ferntucky,
went to the bar to feel lucky,
twas not to be,
he sits in the tree, not even
feeling plucky.

That will defenitely be used in our play, If our librettist Gilliatt agrees. It is just perfect for the comic relief during the interval when the audience retires to the bar. :D

[The Atheist]

Now I am off to book me and the wife's dream holiday, we depart on the 21st of December 2012. What could possibly go wrong?

Deja vu!

I just mentioned that very thing in another thread.


Never mind the 1ambus, I shall wait for the 2am bus

That's clever!


If I'd a Mrs. she'd threaten me with mopping the floor with my furry chin, not gin.

be that as it may

There once was a bloke in Ferntucky,
went to the bar to feel lucky,
twas not to be,
he sits in the tree, not even
feeling plucky.

And that's brilliant.

[Paulclem]

It's coming together this play.

Good luck with the getaway Jocky. It snowed all day here, and now it's dropped to -7. Good job I'm from Yorkshire and was exposed on the slagheaps as a child to keep me tough.

[jocky]

It's coming together this play.

Good luck with the getaway Jocky. It snowed all day here, and now it's dropped to -7. Good job I'm from Yorkshire and was exposed on the slagheaps as a child to keep me tough.

Mount Olympus is child's play compared to Whernside. The Yorkshire Gods are much tougher than these effete Greek thingy's. There is no way the sixth formers are going to mess with you. Ahem, it is -15 here, cough, splutter and so forth and we have no slagheaps to keep us warm.

Tragic news, England have just lost the third test match. :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

That will defenitely be used in our play, If our librettist Gilliatt agrees. It is just perfect for the comic relief during the interval when the audience retires to the bar. :D


It's coming together this play.

Good luck with the getaway Jocky. It snowed all day here, and now it's dropped to -7. Good job I'm from Yorkshire and was exposed on the slagheaps as a child to keep me tough.

By all means Gilliatt agrees!
The "Flat Earth Poets Society" is poisitively astounded by gbrekken's contribution and hereby welomes him to the guild.
Atheist ??...Parker...??

By the way, if you gentlemen and lady will have me, then I would be honored to serve as our Christmas play librettist. As a matter of fact I was just now putting structure to our installments thus far, such as Acts, Scenes, setting descriptions, enters, exeunts, character descriptions, etc.

Enjoy the holiday Jocky.
Now back to my lab of insanity...

.

[The Atheist]

Ahem, it is -15 here, cough, splutter and so forth and we have no slagheaps to keep us warm.

That's a bit nippy.

I don't think it's ever been -15 anywhere in NZ that isn't at the top of a mountain.


Tragic news, England have just lost the third test match. :)

What? A Scotsman celebrating the demise of Sassenachs? Never!


By all means Gilliatt agrees!
The "Flat Earth Poets Society" is poisitively astounded by gbrekken's contribution and hereby welomes him to the guild.
Atheist ??...Parker...??

No, I'm strictly apoetic. Ask me to write a couple of thousand words of prose or have a flame war and I'm your man. Poetry and me are like oil and water.

[prendrelemick]

. Poetry and me are like oil and water.


We await some iridescent verse.



Yep, Our National Cricket team once again leads the world in batting collapses. It appears that Mitchell Johnson is not a pommy-loving waster but a hero after all - until next time

Meanwhile,
Our bigfoot expedition is delayed
Not for logistical manouvering,
But while Jocky finishes the hoovering.

[The Atheist]

We await some iridescent verse.

Incandescent would be closer to the mark; I do a good dirty limerick.



Yep, Our National Cricket team once again leads the world in batting collapses. It appears that Mitchell Johnson is not a pommy-loving waster but a hero after all - until next time

The press is the funniest thing. One win and England are the far better team, the odds on them winning all the remaining games shorten to stupid levels, and sure enough, lose the next.

At least your blokes do win a few - we are presently on an 11-game losing streak, which includes 4 in a row against Bangladesh.

In an effort not to break the world record and go earn the [rightful] place as the worst cricket team in the history of the game, I understand we're taking on St Cuthbert's Girls' 1st XI on Boxing Day.

The girls are at 3:1, a pretty good bet, in my opinion.

[prendrelemick]

What do you N Zeds think of Sir Richard Hadlee. Is he revered in his own country as he is over here?

[The Atheist]

What do you N Zeds think of Sir Richard Hadlee. Is he revered in his own country as he is over here?

Yes and no.

He's revered, and rightly so, for his cricket achievements, but as a person, he's a prize dick, which doesn't endear him to the troops. A good guide would be that many famous sportspeople make their way into politics as they have good recognition, which is all that's needed, really.

Hadlee wouldn't get voted dog-catcher.

Even his wife left him. For a woman....

[prendrelemick]

That's about what I thought. He's one of those blokes who looks as though they've got halitosis. Greatest Cricketer of his day though.

[The Atheist]

That's about what I thought. He's one of those blokes who looks as though they've got halitosis.

Classic!

And spot on.


Greatest Cricketer of his day though.

Yep, I don't think there's too much dissent there, only thanks to his career not overlapping Beefy greatly, though.

I still think he's the best cricketer I've seen, and by a good margin. His bowling average was fairly similar to Hadlee's, but Beefy could destroy you with bat or ball, or both!

Nice how they saved their best cricket for Australia! That's the sign of real class.

[prendrelemick]

In his pomp I agree. The trouble with Beefy is he started with a bang, then drifted slowly downhill for a long long time.

Hadlee's only rival for Best All Rounder of his day, is Imran Khan, never a grafter, he always seemed to strike exactly when needed.

The best ever - Garfield Sobers? I never saw him myself.

[jocky]

In his pomp I agree. The trouble with Beefy is he started with a bang, then drifted slowly downhill for a long long time.

Hadlee's only rival for Best All Rounder of his day, is Imran Khan, never a grafter, he always seemed to strike exactly when needed.

The best ever - Garfield Sobers? I never saw him myself.

Statistically speaking it is the South African Jacques Kallis, but what do Scotsmen know about cricket, given our abysmal record ?

[gbrekken]

-never thought sober deserved a line, bowl, or glass in a cold ale thread

[prendrelemick]

Good point, we should Boycott the use of that word.

[The Atheist]

In his pomp I agree. The trouble with Beefy is he started with a bang, then drifted slowly downhill for a long long time.

Yeah, but for the highly admirable reasons that he got off on the fame and kicked back to enjoy the women, booze and drugs for a while.


Hadlee's only rival for Best All Rounder of his day, is Imran Khan, never a grafter, he always seemed to strike exactly when needed.

The best ever - Garfield Sobers? I never saw him myself.

Me neither, but I agree it would have been nice to watch. The few clips I've seen are impressive.


Statistically speaking it is the South African Jacques Kallis, but what do Scotsmen know about cricket, given our abysmal record ?

I was going to find all sorts of reasons to disagree with you here, but taking Hadlee, Botham, Khan and Dev's relatively weak batting figures, and the fact that he has more wickets than Garry Sobers - at a better average - you might well be right! His batting average is only very slightly inferior to Sobers, and while he's much lower than the other group in bowling, comparing them from a batting perspective shows a gulf of difference. His batting average is only .09 behind Sachin Bleeding Tendulkar!

I've always looked at Kallis as a batsman who bowls, but maybe it's because his batting is so superb that his bowling just gets overlooked, but 260 wickets at 32 is hard to deny.

There you go - we've all been watching the greatest allrounder in history without even knowing it!

[jocky]

Yeah, but for the highly admirable reasons that he got off on the fame and kicked back to enjoy the women, booze and drugs for a while.



Me neither, but I agree it would have been nice to watch. The few clips I've seen are impressive.



I was going to find all sorts of reasons to disagree with you here, but taking Hadlee, Botham, Khan and Dev's relatively weak batting figures, and the fact that he has more wickets than Garry Sobers - at a better average - you might well be right! His batting average is only very slightly inferior to Sobers, and while he's much lower than the other group in bowling, comparing them from a batting perspective shows a gulf of difference. His batting average is only .09 behind Sachin Bleeding Tendulkar!

I've always looked at Kallis as a batsman who bowls, but maybe it's because his batting is so superb that his bowling just gets overlooked, but 260 wickets at 32 is hard to deny.

There you go - we've all been watching the greatest allrounder in history without even knowing it!

Aye, but I did qualify it by saying "stastically speaking" . No one can dispute the figures and his batting technique is superb but on entertainment value, which we all covet, I am not sure. I hate agreeing with Mick but watching Beefy charging down to the crease and belting the ball over the ground was superb. Statistics do not always tell the whole story. Whatever Botham lacked in finesse he more than made up with pure determination. Now can we back to the fitba. :)




Even his wife left him. For a woman....

:D Just a jocky observation, we all know that life can be bad and has a nasty habit of kicking one in the gonads but imagine the scenario. You find out that the Missus is having a fling so you get tooled up to confront the marriage wrecker. You put on your best pair of steel toe caps, polish the old knuckle duster and head for High Noon only to discover the interloper is a decent looking female. :smilielol5:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Well gentlemen, we now have structure to the play. It took a bit of innovation to weave the idiosyncratic parts together in such a way as to make sense to the average Joe.

I designed the structure in a manner that will allow for final additions, but we are up against a deadline which is yet to be determined and a method for delivery which is yet to be determined.
There's still time to send in a few more lines!

I'm thinking we present on Christmas eve in a stand alone thread under "General Chat". Any obejections?, other ideas?

In the meantime, here is a teaser:


A Cold Ale Blokes Production
In association with
Flat Earth Poets Society

Presents

"SHE STOMPS TO CONQUER"

A Christmas play in the manner of Goldsmith


Dramatis Personae

Bigfoot Foote
Madam Foote
Little Feete (Madam and Bigfoot’s children)
Cousin Yeti
First Clown from Scotland
Marry the Second Clown from Scotland
Yorkshire Minstrel
Van Trapp Singers
Village Idiot
Uncle Skookum
TBRC

The Flat Earth Poets:
J=Jocky; P=Prendrelemick; PC=Paulclem; G=Gbrekken; G=Gilliatt TVZ= Townes van Zandt (Lyrics to Pancho and Lefty)

Act I
Scene I

(Setting: A small clearing among towering Loblolly pines and Sweetgums, somewhere in East Texas near the Louisiana border. Black Capped Chickadees are heard flitting about plucking seeds from pinecones, a Blue Jay periodically interrupts the Chickadees industrious foraging with their obnoxious squawks, armadillos struggle to augur the stiff January ground in search of grubs and nuts. Good ole boys can be heard in the distance whoop’n an holler’n an firing guns in a drunken mêlée. It is winter, “The Winter of our Discontent”. The musky odor of gigantopithecus permeates the whorefrost suspended in the crisp dawn air.)

(Two clowns from Scotland enter the clearing. Marry carries a cricket bat and spies a hollow log)

Marry the Second Clown:
There was a young dude.........

.

[Silas Thorne]

You find out that the Missus is having a fling so you get tooled up to confront the marriage wrecker. You put on your best pair of steel toe caps, polish the old knuckle duster and head for High Noon only to discover the interloper is a decent looking female. :smilielol5:

...and that's when Shane Warne rings the doorbell. It seems one of them has sent him a text message.:D

Sorry, I didn't see that message above till now...

[The Atheist]

Aye, but I did qualify it by saying "stastically speaking" . No one can dispute the figures and his batting technique is superb but on entertainment value, which we all covet, I am not sure. I hate agreeing with Mick but watching Beefy charging down to the crease and belting the ball over the ground was superb. Statistics do not always tell the whole story. Whatever Botham lacked in finesse he more than made up with pure determination. Now can we back to the fitba. :)

That's one of the good things about cricket, stats say so much.

Fitba? I thought the games were all cancelled? A little snow stopping them, pah!


You put on your best pair of steel toe caps, polish the old knuckle duster and head for High Noon only to discover the interloper is a decent looking female. :smilielol5:

There's a lot of it about. My boy used to haveb a boy in his class who had two mums picking him up after school.

(Not that either of 'em were much to look at!)


Well gentlemen, we now have structure to the play.

Magnificent stuff!


...and that's when Shane Warne rings the doorbell. It seems one of them has sent him a text message.:D

Shane Warne. Now a chat show host, if you didn't know.

One of the world's biggest-ever prats.

[prendrelemick]

Well gentlemen, we now have structure to the play. It took a bit of innovation to weave the idiosyncratic parts together in such a way as to make sense to the average Joe.

I designed the structure in a manner that will allow for final additions, but we are up against a deadline which is yet to be determined and a method for delivery which is yet to be determined.
There's still time to send in a few more lines!

I'm thinking we present on Christmas eve in a stand alone thread under "General Chat". Any obejections?, other ideas?

In the meantime, here is a teaser:


A Cold Ale Blokes Production
In association with
Flat Earth Poets Society

Presents

"SHE STOMPS TO CONQUER"

A Christmas play in the manner of Goldsmith


Dramatis Personae

Bigfoot Foote
Madam Foote
Little Feete (Madam and Bigfoot’s children)
Cousin Yeti
First Clown from Scotland
Marry the Second Clown from Scotland
Yorkshire Minstrel
Van Trapp Singers
Village Idiot
Uncle Skookum
TBRC

The Flat Earth Poets:
J=Jocky; P=Prendrelemick; PC=Paulclem; G=Gbrekken; G=Gilliatt TVZ= Townes van Zandt (Lyrics to Pancho and Lefty)

Act I
Scene I

(Setting: A small clearing among towering Loblolly pines and Sweetgums, somewhere in East Texas near the Louisiana border. Black Capped Chickadees are heard flitting about plucking seeds from pinecones, a Blue Jay periodically interrupts the Chickadees industrious foraging with their obnoxious squawks, armadillos struggle to augur the stiff January ground in search of grubs and nuts. Good ole boys can be heard in the distance whoop’n an holler’n an firing guns in a drunken mêlée. It is winter, “The Winter of our Discontent”. The musky odor of gigantopithecus permeates the whorefrost suspended in the crisp dawn air.)

(Two clowns from Scotland enter the clearing. Marry carries a cricket bat and spies a hollow log)

Marry the Second Clown:
There was a young dude.........

.

I have to say, its a bit shorter than I expected.


Aye, but I did qualify it by saying "stastically speaking" . No one can dispute the figures and his batting technique is superb but on entertainment value, which we all covet, I am not sure. I hate agreeing with Mick but watching Beefy charging down to the crease and belting the ball over the ground was superb. Statistics do not always tell the whole story. Whatever Botham lacked in finesse he more than made up with pure determination. Now can we back to the fitba. :)

The Best Ever, is nothing to do with statistics - its about impressions.

So, for me
Bowler - Joel Garner
Batsman - Viv Richards
All Rounder - Ian Botham

I am a child of the 70s in case you hadn't guessed.

[The Atheist]

The Best Ever, is nothing to do with statistics - its about impressions.

So, for me
Bowler - Joel Garner
Batsman - Viv Richards
All Rounder - Ian Botham

I am a child of the 70s in case you hadn't guessed.

I'd go along with Joel Garner - watching him had me awestruck. I cannot imagine what it was like having the ball coming down from 9' at 100 mph. I would have certainly needed my incontinence pads in.

Pity they didn't keep strike rates in tests in Richards' day, but I'd have to go for Tendulkar as batsman. Just makes it look so easy.

[prendrelemick]

I saw Tendulkar at Headingley as a raw young lad, he had everything even then.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I'm thinking we present on Christmas eve in a stand alone thread under "General Chat". Any obejections?, other ideas?

....In the meantime, here is a teaser:





I have to say, its a bit shorter than I expected.

Oh no, it's much longer.
That was just a teaser to give you a sense of where this thing is headed and to motivate the poets in submitting their final entries.
New poets are welcome to join in.
(God, this hotel life is really getting to me !)

.

[jocky]

Well gentlemen, we now have structure to the play. It took a bit of innovation to weave the idiosyncratic parts together in such a way as to make sense to the average Joe.

I designed the structure in a manner that will allow for final additions, but we are up against a deadline which is yet to be determined and a method for delivery which is yet to be determined.
There's still time to send in a few more lines!

I'm thinking we present on Christmas eve in a stand alone thread under "General Chat". Any obejections?, other ideas?

In the meantime, here is a teaser:


A Cold Ale Blokes Production
In association with
Flat Earth Poets Society

Presents

"SHE STOMPS TO CONQUER"

A Christmas play in the manner of Goldsmith


Dramatis Personae

Bigfoot Foote
Madam Foote
Little Feete (Madam and Bigfoot’s children)
Cousin Yeti
First Clown from Scotland
Marry the Second Clown from Scotland
Yorkshire Minstrel
Van Trapp Singers
Village Idiot
Uncle Skookum
TBRC

The Flat Earth Poets:
J=Jocky; P=Prendrelemick; PC=Paulclem; G=Gbrekken; G=Gilliatt TVZ= Townes van Zandt (Lyrics to Pancho and Lefty)

Act I
Scene I

(Setting: A small clearing among towering Loblolly pines and Sweetgums, somewhere in East Texas near the Louisiana border. Black Capped Chickadees are heard flitting about plucking seeds from pinecones, a Blue Jay periodically interrupts the Chickadees industrious foraging with their obnoxious squawks, armadillos struggle to augur the stiff January ground in search of grubs and nuts. Good ole boys can be heard in the distance whoop’n an holler’n an firing guns in a drunken mêlée. It is winter, “The Winter of our Discontent”. The musky odor of gigantopithecus permeates the whorefrost suspended in the crisp dawn air.)

(Two clowns from Scotland enter the clearing. Marry carries a cricket bat and spies a hollow log)

Marry the Second Clown:
There was a young dude.........

.

Gilliatt, " A thing of beauty is a joy forever "


...and that's when Shane Warne rings the doorbell. It seems one of them has sent him a text message.

He would be greeted with a nice glass of really warm lager. :)

As you seem to be the only decent poet amongst us perhaps you could pen the epilogue.


The Best Ever, is nothing to do with statistics - its about impressions.

So, for me
Bowler - Joel Garner
Batsman - Viv Richards
All Rounder - Ian Botham

I am a child of the 70s in case you hadn't guessed.

Hard to argue with your choices though I would add that Bob Willis was a magnificent bowler who took the longest run ups I have ever seen. On the subject of all rounders it is always worth mentioning Richie Benaud. I never saw him play but if his game was anything like his commentary then he must have been a giant. A real gentleman and a sore loss to the world of cricket.

[prendrelemick]

Sorry, can't resist.

M. There was a young dude from Mafaking
FC. Enough of your Lim- rick- ing
M. Who told all the world he could sing
FC. Hold! enough of that din
M. But alas every note
FC. I would not give a groat
M. Was like a young stoat,
FC. For what hies from your throat,
M. Being flung from a fell Berber's sling.
FC. And the rest is silence. -Thank god.

FC. hush now we approach the Bigfoot's lair
(Exuent, persued by a bear)


Scene two. inside a cave. A kilted BF is hoovering around Mrs BF's feet.


Mrs BF. That'll teach you to make hay on forbidden lawns.

[jocky]

The best laid plans of mice and men
do often go awry.

Enjoy your play Bye Bye.

[The Atheist]

... I would add that Bob Willis was a magnificent bowler who took the longest run ups I have ever seen...

Did he what!

I saw players fall asleep while he walked back to his mark. At smaller grounds, like Eden Park, his run used to start halfway down the players' tunnel.

[Paulclem]

Well gentlemen, we now have structure to the play. It took a bit of innovation to weave the idiosyncratic parts together in such a way as to make sense to the average Joe.

I designed the structure in a manner that will allow for final additions, but we are up against a deadline which is yet to be determined and a method for delivery which is yet to be determined.
There's still time to send in a few more lines!

I'm thinking we present on Christmas eve in a stand alone thread under "General Chat". Any obejections?, other ideas?

In the meantime, here is a teaser:


A Cold Ale Blokes Production
In association with
Flat Earth Poets Society

Presents

"SHE STOMPS TO CONQUER"

A Christmas play in the manner of Goldsmith


Dramatis Personae

Bigfoot Foote
Madam Foote
Little Feete (Madam and Bigfoot’s children)
Cousin Yeti
First Clown from Scotland
Marry the Second Clown from Scotland
Yorkshire Minstrel
Van Trapp Singers
Village Idiot
Uncle Skookum
TBRC

The Flat Earth Poets:
J=Jocky; P=Prendrelemick; PC=Paulclem; G=Gbrekken; G=Gilliatt TVZ= Townes van Zandt (Lyrics to Pancho and Lefty)

Act I
Scene I

(Setting: A small clearing among towering Loblolly pines and Sweetgums, somewhere in East Texas near the Louisiana border. Black Capped Chickadees are heard flitting about plucking seeds from pinecones, a Blue Jay periodically interrupts the Chickadees industrious foraging with their obnoxious squawks, armadillos struggle to augur the stiff January ground in search of grubs and nuts. Good ole boys can be heard in the distance whoop’n an holler’n an firing guns in a drunken mêlée. It is winter, “The Winter of our Discontent”. The musky odor of gigantopithecus permeates the whorefrost suspended in the crisp dawn air.)

(Two clowns from Scotland enter the clearing. Marry carries a cricket bat and spies a hollow log)

Marry the Second Clown:
There was a young dude.........

.

Impressive start Gilliatt!!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Sorry, can't resist.

M. There was a young dude from Mafaking
FC. Enough of your Lim- rick- ing
M. Who told all the world he could sing
FC. Hold! enough of that din
M. But alas every note
FC. I would not give a groat
M. Was like a young stoat,
FC. For what hies from your throat,
M. Being flung from a fell Berber's sling.
FC. And the rest is silence. -Thank god.

FC. hush now we approach the Bigfoot's lair
(Exuent, persued by a bear)


Scene two. inside a cave. A kilted BF is hoovering around Mrs BF's feet.


Mrs BF. That'll teach you to make hay on forbidden lawns.


Haha! Perfect!
If you only knew how well your latest entry fits in with the madness.
It will all make sense when the play hits the streets.

Great stuff.
Thanks

.

[prendrelemick]

Hard to argue with your choices though I would add that Bob Willis was a magnificent bowler who took the longest run ups I have ever seen. On the subject of all rounders it is always worth mentioning Richie Benaud. I never saw him play but if his game was anything like his commentary then he must have been a giant. A real gentleman and a sore loss to the world of cricket.

Was it longer than Dennis Lillee's run up though?

In fact the reason I put Viv Richards as my number one, is the way he stood up to those playground bullies, Lillee and Thompson, without extra armour. These were men who thought good bowling consisted of 5 short pitched deliveries per over at a tail ender.

[The Atheist]

Was it longer than Dennis Lillee's run up though?

I'm not sure whether this is an appropriate subject for gentlemen - "Who's was longer, Lillee or Willis?"

Willis by yards, I'd say.

I saw them both play at Eden Park on many occasions and while I couldn't pin-point where Lille started his run, I could take you to the spot where Bob used to start his amble to the wicket, and I can tell you it is at least five metres outside any other player I've seen.

Willis' disc used to be within spitting distance of the terraces at the southern end - literally. Luckily, Kiwis aren't much into spitting, unless it's on a footpath.


In fact the reason I put Viv Richards as my number one, is the way he stood up to those playground bullies, Lillee and Thompson, without extra armour. These were men who thought good bowling consisted of 5 short pitched deliveries per over at a tail ender.

Ahem.

It is my solemn duty as an Englishman to point out that bodyline bowling was invented by an Englishman.

In days when padding - other than shins and a box - was not even invented, never mind allowed, and head protection consisted of a cloth cap.

:D

[prendrelemick]

True, and how the Aussies whinged, they nearly revolted from the Empire. Larwood would at least apologise to Bradman after nearly breaking his ribs.

I wonder what Bradman thought of Lillee and Thompson.

[The Atheist]

True, and how the Aussies whinged, they nearly revolted from the Empire.

They're still revolting!

[gbrekken]

across ponds- did the down under folks whine or whinged? oed ain't helping me here blokes, it's just y'all

[The Atheist]

across ponds- did the down under folks whine or whinged? oed ain't helping me here blokes, it's just y'all

Definitely both.

And a Merry Christmas to all!

Parker has tomorrow's dinner prepared already, I understand:

Entree: Smoked salmon on thin-sliced wholegrain toast.

Main, choice of: Fillet steak, roasted whole in a garlic & red wine sauce, with seasonal vegetables or chicken breast, seared and served with tossed fresh salad.

Dessert: a traditional Kiwi pavlova with fresh strawberries.

Bottles of Mumm's in the fridge!

[Big Dante]

I would have to say the second tennis player easily.
And blokey stuff so...
Did you see that fight where people got hurt? Man that was sweet.

[Paulclem]

Merry Christmas all!!

The family has retired upstairs and so I am free to chill down on the net. It's been busy, and the elderly relatives were watching rubbish telly. Never mind. It's still nice to have them round.

Have you seen Gilliat's Play thread. Brilliant.

The Christmas menu sounds fantastic - especially the kiwi pavlova. I might be able to squeeze a portion in. My wife makes a great xmas pudding, which takes up a lot of space, but then...

[The Atheist]

Boxing Day test!

Nice of all those Aussies to turn up to watch their heroes get blasted off the park.

[prendrelemick]

Did they have a fire drill with an hour still to play.? The stands seemed to empty very quickly. :smilielol5:

[soundofmusic]

Guys, I'm sorry I've deserted you; I've been having baking crises and then spiked eggnog adventures...I'll catch up soon...glad someone posted that wonderful poem

I was trying to remember, maybe you will Atheist...who put up that picture of the drunk Santa a few years ago...so cool!

[The Atheist]

Guys, I'm sorry I've deserted you; I've been having baking crises and then spiked eggnog adventures...

Sounds intriguing! We will await details with interest.

Not sure where the Santa came from.

[soundofmusic]

If I'd a Mrs. she'd threaten me with mopping the floor with my furry chin, not gin.

be that as it may

There once was a bloke in Ferntucky,
went to the bar to feel lucky,
twas not to be,
he sits in the tree, not even
feeling plucky.

I thought all of you gents had a Mrs...I had a near miss; but alas, he left:smilielol5:


:D Just a jocky observation, we all know that life can be bad and has a nasty habit of kicking one in the gonads but imagine the scenario. You find out that the Missus is having a fling so you get tooled up to confront the marriage wrecker. You put on your best pair of steel toe caps, polish the old knuckle duster and head for High Noon only to discover the interloper is a decent looking female. :smilielol5:

The second mr sounds complained that his second wife took off with another woman; personally, I always thought his second wife looked suspiciouslylike a man...nevertheless, I think you blokes would have turned the whole situation in your favor by suggesting a parting menage a trois:thumbs_up


Sorry, can't resist.

M. There was a young dude from Mafaking
FC. Enough of your Lim- rick- ing
M. Who told all the world he could sing
FC. Hold! enough of that din
M. But alas every note
FC. I would not give a groat
M. Was like a young stoat,
FC. For what hies from your throat,
M. Being flung from a fell Berber's sling.
FC. And the rest is silence. -Thank god.

FC. hush now we approach the Bigfoot's lair
(Exuent, persued by a bear)


Scene two. inside a cave. A kilted BF is hoovering around Mrs BF's feet.


Mrs BF. That'll teach you to make hay on forbidden lawns.

Sounds like a winner to me!



Haha! Perfect!
If you only knew how well your latest entry fits in with the madness.
It will all make sense when the play hits the streets.

Great stuff.
Thanks

.

I'm glad you've given the rest of litnet the chance to see that we blokes are not just here for merry making and discussion of women, booze and sports...we are artists!


And a Merry Christmas to all!

Parker has tomorrow's dinner prepared already, I understand:

Entree: Smoked salmon on thin-sliced wholegrain toast.

Main, choice of: Fillet steak, roasted whole in a garlic & red wine sauce, with seasonal vegetables or chicken breast, seared and served with tossed fresh salad.

Dessert: a traditional Kiwi pavlova with fresh strawberries.

Bottles of Mumm's in the fridge!

Smashing, I'll be there at 4pm


Merry Christmas all!!

The family has retired upstairs and so I am free to chill down on the net. It's been busy, and the elderly relatives were watching rubbish telly. Never mind. It's still nice to have them round.

Have you seen Gilliat's Play thread. Brilliant.

The Christmas menu sounds fantastic - especially the kiwi pavlova. I might be able to squeeze a portion in. My wife makes a great xmas pudding, which takes up a lot of space, but then...

Great fellow, even likes the relatives...do youthink the wife would make an extra Christmas pudding for us slackers in the states....by the way, does she use rye ale and stout in hers?


Sounds intriguing! We will await details with interest.

Not sure where the Santa came from.

Actually, as I kept putting more rum in the eggnog; it's all a bit fuzzy to me...I do remember I had a good time though...
I thought you would look reallysmashing as Santa; I suggested to Baje you would do a great SAnta with Max as an elf...

[Paulclem]

Great fellow, even likes the relatives...do youthink the wife would make an extra Christmas pudding for us slackers in the states....by the way, does she use rye ale and stout in hers?


I think Mrs P uses rum. We do have an extra too. Very nice it was this year, and We've got some of the big one left.

[prendrelemick]

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/celeb020.jpg


Is that the one sounds?

[Paulclem]

Stag Night Santa or what!

:D

[prendrelemick]

My Mrs P wouldn't let me use the picture above for this years Christmas Cards.:frown5:

[OrphanPip]

Actually, as I kept putting more rum in the eggnog; it's all a bit fuzzy to me...I do remember I had a good time though...
I thought you would look reallysmashing as Santa; I suggested to Baje you would do a great SAnta with Max as an elf...

We bought this cheap as dirt white wine that tasted like piss. I mixed it with Dr. Pepper, you couldn't taste the wine at all, it made spending the night with family fairly tolerable.


Stag Night Santa or what!

:D

He must work for the discount stripper agency.

[prendrelemick]

We bought this cheap as dirt white wine that tasted like piss. I mixed it with Dr. Pepper, you couldn't taste the wine at all, it made spending the night with family fairly tolerable.



He must work for the discount stripper agency.


Cheap wine tends to cause extravagant hangovers.

[OrphanPip]

Cheap wine tends to cause extravagant hangovers.

I spent Boxing Day in bed all day, but I'm not sure if I blame the excess food or the excess drinking.

[Satan]

Not sure where the Santa came from.

Santa - the dyslexic me.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Hello all, hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.
Let me first take this moment to tell you how proud I am of your performance on stage.
The hard work and sleepless hours spent rehearsing paid off!

Haha..I remember that drunk Santa.
By the way, Santa was good to us. He dropped off a few movies including: "Them", "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms", "World Without End", "Satellite in the Sky" and "Earth vs The Flying Saucers"...oh and a new lap top!

Now we must gear up and stock up for New Year's.

.

[prendrelemick]

Santa - the dyslexic me.

Get thee behind me Santa!

It doesn't quite work does it.

[soundofmusic]

I think Mrs P uses rum. We do have an extra too. Very nice it was this year, and We've got some of the big one left.

I think most anything tastes better with a bit of rum in it...actually, I like most of my friends better when they have a bit of rum in them too:smilielol5:

I had wondered what a cake would taste like with beer in it...particularly since I don't like beer.

Do you think Mrs P would notice if you sent a piece of that pudding to me? :D


http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/celeb020.jpg


Is that the one sounds?

That's the one...I love it! I'm putting it in my Christmas album...


My Mrs P wouldn't let me use the picture above for this years Christmas Cards.:frown5:

I think we ought to make a year round calander with it...that's it; we should make a bloke calander with one of our fellows for each month and you will have the december slot.


We bought this cheap as dirt white wine that tasted like piss. I mixed it with Dr. Pepper, you couldn't taste the wine at all, it made spending the night with family fairly tolerable.


You poor man...I don't even want to think of wine in Dr Pepper...actually, I just avoid the holiday with my extended family; I find I like Christmas much better now that I make excuses to the brothers, sister, cousins....


Santa - the dyslexic me.
:reddevil: I never noticed that...


Hello all, hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.
Let me first take this moment to tell you how proud I am of your performance on stage.
The hard work and sleepless hours spent rehearsing paid off!

Haha..I remember that drunk Santa.
By the way, Santa was good to us. He dropped off a few movies including: "Them", "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms", "World Without End", "Satellite in the Sky" and "Earth vs The Flying Saucers"...oh and a new lap top!

Now we must gear up and stock up for New Year's.

.
Here, Here....best play since Andrew Lloyd Webers wife discovered he was gay!


Get thee behind me Santa!

It doesn't quite work does it.

I hear it works for Mrs Claus and some of the elves at the NP strip club:santasmil:party:

[The Atheist]

Now we must gear up and stock up for New Year's.

.

On that. I'm off to the liquor supplier in the morning with Parker.

We'll get a double order of everything just to be on the safe side.

[jocky]

What a downer ! England have retained the Ashes in Australia for goodness sake. I had a good Xmas but that is my New Year ruined. I suppose it would be churlish to say that ,that is the worst Aussie side since cricket was invented. Good night. :(


On that. I'm off to the liquor supplier in the morning with Parker.

We'll get a double order of everything just to be on the safe side.

In Scotland we have a tradition of celebrating Hogmany by having a dram in the order of each country seeing in the bells. We raise our first glass to New Zealand followed by Australia, Russia, Japan, China, Thailand, Kathmandu ( that always gets a big cheer ) India, Afghanistan and so on and by the time we sober up it is 2012. Have a good one guys and gal. :D

[The Atheist]

What a downer ! England have retained the Ashes in Australia for goodness sake. I had a good Xmas but that is my New Year ruined. I suppose it would be churlish to say that ,that is the worst Aussie side since cricket was invented. Good night. :(

No, that wouldn't be churlish, it would be 100% correct!

Long may it stay that way.


In Scotland we have a tradition of celebrating Hogmany by having a dram in the order of each country seeing in the bells. We raise our first glass to New Zealand followed by Australia, Russia, Japan, China, Thailand, Kathmandu ( that always gets a big cheer ) India, Afghanistan and so on and by the time we sober up it is 2012. Have a good one guys and gal. :D

Haha! Great idea.

Since they changed the International Dateline to be the first country to clock over to 2000, you need to start 2 hours before NZ and use Tonga as the starter.

I can see the value in the idea - I'll meet you in about Athens, I'd say!

Blwyddyn Newydd Dda!

[prendrelemick]

Yes the shift in Cricketing power is confirmed. The two best sides, India and South Africa, are currently contesting a close series agin each other.
That said, C'mon England lets stuff 'em in Sidney as well.

The Scots are definitely The masters of New Year celebrations. (as I discovered in Blackpool one Hogmanay.) How they recover in time for Burns night I' ll never know.

[gbrekken]

In Scotland we have a tradition of celebrating Hogmany by having a dram in the order of each country seeing in the bells. We raise our first glass to New Zealand followed by Australia, Russia, Japan, China, Thailand, Kathmandu ( that always gets a big cheer ) India, Afghanistan and so on and by the time we sober up it is 2012. Have a good one guys and gal. :D

in the blokes' veins flows such a great tradition! i'd be passed out before the azores greeted the newyear-let alone the states!

[jocky]

and use Tonga as the starter.



Tonga is terra non gratis for two very good reasons. Firstly, their rugby team have hospitalised too many of our players and secondly their firework display is naff.




The Scots are definitely The masters of New Year celebrations. (as I discovered in Blackpool one Hogmanay.) How they recover in time for Burns night I' ll never know.

Please say it was not 1981. My alibi is watertight.


in the blokes' veins flows such a great tradition! i'd be passed out before the azores greeted the newyear-let alone the states!

Aye," We'll teach you to drink deep ere you depart " :)

Now I know I am pushing on a wee bit but I have to tell you about Xmas eve. Mrs J was looking particularly good and the waft of the Vera Wang perfume was heading in my direction. I looked at her and said, sweetheart you are looking real good tonight, how could she resist? She gave me a sweet smile and declaimed " Well you can get that idea right oot o' yer heid " What a life!

[The Atheist]

Tonga is terra non gratis for two very good reasons. Firstly, their rugby team have hospitalised too many of our players...

Yeah, but they all go to church after and ask for forgiveness.


... and secondly their firework display is naff.

Should be much better this year - I understand the King is organising a firing squad for people who say he spends too much money on militaria.


. I looked at her and said, sweetheart you are looking real good tonight, how could she resist? She gave me a sweet smile and declaimed " Well you can get that idea right oot o' yer heid " What a life!

:smilielol5:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Happy New Year to my fellow blokes!!

I tried to get the missus and junior to join me in a fireside performance of the Blokes Christmas play at midnight, but no luck.

BTW, Jocky since you were out on holiday, you might have missed our play. (?) If so, you'll find it under General Chat, likely fallen off the front page by now.


.

[prendrelemick]

'Twas a dissappointingly sober New Year for me this year. When shall these parental duties end? Am I a Father or a Taxi service? I ask myself.

[gbrekken]

'Twas a dissappointingly sober New Year for me this year. When shall these parental duties end? Am I a Father or a Taxi service? I ask myself.

'tis duty for you to care,ferry,tell,hold, etc. etc. etc. the joy of living a life!
Happy New Year one, all, each and every one of you!!!!

[soundofmusic]

I've got this rotten cold for New Years, no partying, just watching poor, very old and feble Dick Clark dropping his ball again with a much older group of the backstreet boys singing...very sad...
I've decided, for medicinal reasons, to begin drinking today:wink5:

[Paulclem]

I've got this rotten cold for New Years, no partying, just watching poor, very old and feble Dick Clark dropping his ball again with a much older group of the backstreet boys singing...very sad...
I've decided, for medicinal reasons, to begin drinking today:wink5:

The past few New Year's Eves have been just tiring. This year was too, but we had a laugh. We stay in; either at ours or the Mother in aw's and the TV is usually dire. It has now become a bit of a tradition to watch Jools Holland's Hootenanny with the once good, but now terribly aged, singers murdering theirs and others songs.

I'm glad to see the tradition of terrible New Year's Eve TV continuing across the pond.

Aged rant - and why is that I wonder? It's because those TV planners think that all under 25 year olds will be out, and so it doesn't matter.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... and the TV is usually dire. It has now become a bit of a tradition to watch Jools Holland's Hootenanny with the once good, but now terribly aged, singers murdering theirs and others songs.

I'm glad to see the tradition of terrible New Year's Eve TV continuing across the pond.

Aged rant - and why is that I wonder? It's because those TV planners think that all under 25 year olds will be out, and so it doesn't matter.

New Year's does come with one small TV perk in our part of the world. We have a Scinece Fiction channel that runs 24 hours of continuous "Twilight Zone" episodes every New Year. It is nice to have on during the holiday down time.

.

[Paulclem]

New Year's does come with one small TV perk in our part of the world. We have a Scinece Fiction channel that runs 24 hours of continuous "Twilight Zone" episodes every New Year. It is nice to have on during the holiday down time.

.

This year we had Father Ted - a brilliant comedy. Still a repeat, but at least it hasn't been on for a while.

[prendrelemick]

This year we had Father Ted - a brilliant comedy. Still a repeat, but at least it hasn't been on for a while.

That was the highlight of the evening. This could be the greatest comedy moment on TV

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vbd3E6tK2U&NR=1&feature=fvwp

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Thanks for the "Father Ted", that is funny. I'll be sure to add that to my bag of tricks!

.

[Paulclem]

That was the highlight of the evening. This could be the greatest comedy moment on TV

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vbd3E6tK2U&NR=1&feature=fvwp

You're right. All of the episodes we great. It's a great series Gilliatt.

[MystyrMystyry]

http://becauseitreallyispersonal.wordpress.com/2007/09/05/the-best-blonde-joke-in-the-world/

[The Atheist]

This year we had Father Ted - a brilliant comedy. Still a repeat, but at least it hasn't been on for a while.

It's just finished being repeated here.

Brilliant stuff, even though it's clearly dated.


Thanks for the "Father Ted", that is funny. I'll be sure to add that to my bag of tricks!

.

Alas, Ted is no longer with us, Dermot Morgan having died tragically young at 45, in 1998.

Funny how so many brilliant comedians die young.

[prendrelemick]

Athiest, I would just like to acknowledge your countryman Billy Bowden's contribution to the annoying of the Aussie nation yesterday, by not raising his crooked finger to Alistair Cook, despite the ongoing celebrations from the home side.

[The Atheist]

Athiest, I would just like to acknowledge your countryman Billy Bowden's contribution to the annoying of the Aussie nation yesterday, by not raising his crooked finger to Alistair Cook, despite the ongoing celebrations from the home side.

Haha! Never let a chance go by...

Haven't seen any of this one, the weather's been too good for cricket. Did they appeal? Aussie will crumble in the second innings - if you can get 150 up, it'll be enough for another innings and.

[prendrelemick]

Appeal! It was high fives and whoops allround. Cook had tucked his bat under his arm and was about to walk, when Billy said hold on a minute, let's just check where the bowler's foot landed...:smilielol5:

[The Atheist]

Appeal! It was high fives and whoops allround. Cook had tucked his bat under his arm and was about to walk, when Billy said hold on a minute, let's just check where the bowler's foot landed...:smilielol5:

Oh really?

I'll have to look that up on Youtube or Cricinfo. Beautiful.

[soundofmusic]

The past few New Year's Eves have been just tiring. This year was too, but we had a laugh. We stay in; either at ours or the Mother in aw's and the TV is usually dire. It has now become a bit of a tradition to watch Jools Holland's Hootenanny with the once good, but now terribly aged, singers murdering theirs and others songs.

I'm glad to see the tradition of terrible New Year's Eve TV continuing across the pond.

Aged rant - and why is that I wonder? It's because those TV planners think that all under 25 year olds will be out, and so it doesn't matter.

Oh gosh, I just checked out the hootenanny...almost as depressing as Dick Clark; noticed Kylie Minoque...poor woman, trying to sing in 6 inch heels with those invisible braces on; why do 40 year old people wear braces?


New Year's does come with one small TV perk in our part of the world. We have a Scinece Fiction channel that runs 24 hours of continuous "Twilight Zone" episodes every New Year. It is nice to have on during the holiday down time.

.

Indeed, have you checked out Hulu...twilight zone, outer limits, Alfred Hitchcock ...I'm currently watching Hitchcock with Betty davis, Jessica tandy...love it...



That was the highlight of the evening. This could be the greatest comedy moment on TV

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vbd3E6tK2U&NR=1&feature=fvwp

Good stuff, I have to find some full episodes...


It's just finished being repeated here.

Brilliant stuff, even though it's clearly dated.



Alas, Ted is no longer with us, Dermot Morgan having died tragically young at 45, in 1998.

Funny how so many brilliant comedians die young.

Sad, the show is great...

[The Atheist]

...why do 40 year old people wear braces?

For the same reason women have face/butt/boob/tummy lifts; the same reason men have hair transplants or take drugs which grow hair but make them impotent.

I have no idea what the reason is, but I'm pretty sure it's all the same one.

They should be more like us and grow old [dis]gracefully!

[prendrelemick]

I am certainly trying to grow old disgracefully, It's difficult though because I have three female daughters who keep a close eye on me. Not to mention Mrs P who is growing more prim and proper by the year. I still have small victories of sartorial inelegencies,(wearing wellies at garden parties) getting drunk at social gatherings, using salacious language in polite company, but it is all strangely unfullfilling, I am becoming a caricature of the cumudgeonly Yorkshireman.

[Paulclem]

I am certainly trying to grow old disgracefully, It's difficult though because I have three female daughters who keep a close eye on me. Not to mention Mrs P who is growing more prim and proper by the year. I still have small victories of sartorial inelegencies,(wearing wellies at garden parties) getting drunk at social gatherings, using salacious language in polite company, but it is all strangely unfullfilling, I am becoming a caricature of the cumudgeonly Yorkshireman.

I got a hip flask for xmas this year, but Mrs paulclem wouldn't go to town with me if I took it along. It is an allotment only item apparently. Good for the cold weather in the tea. but what about coffee in town. I can be surrepticious.

[prendrelemick]

Purely medicinal of course, :hand: You can't be too careful with all this flue about.

[soundofmusic]

For the same reason women have face/butt/boob/tummy lifts; the same reason men have hair transplants or take drugs which grow hair but make them impotent.

I have no idea what the reason is, but I'm pretty sure it's all the same one.

They should be more like us and grow old [dis]gracefully!

It's really a shame with the bald fellows I know; it seems that they have enough hair on their arms, legs and back...just nothing on the head:sosp:;
a shame they become impotent for hair, alot of women like the yul brenner look.

Actually, I had to have my top wisdom teeth pulled and the others began to shift; that may be what the age onset braces are for...



I still have small victories of sartorial inelegencies,(wearing wellies at garden parties) getting drunk at social gatherings, using salacious language in polite company, but it is all strangely unfullfilling, I am becoming a caricature of the cumudgeonly Yorkshireman.

I find that it's less pleasurable acting scandelous because no one reacts; they just sit there and look like they aren't getting the punchline:mad5:


I got a hip flask for xmas this year, but Mrs paulclem wouldn't go to town with me if I took it along. It is an allotment only item apparently. Good for the cold weather in the tea. but what about coffee in town. I can be surrepticious.

Did they forget to tell you that you don't carry the hip flask on your hip? You have to tie it with a bit of long string and carry it along with the other treasures:arf:

[Paulclem]

Did they forget to tell you that you don't carry the hip flask on your hip? You have to tie it with a bit of long string and carry it along with the other treasures:arf:

Cunning.

It's a small one with no carry strap or anything. No problem at the allotment as I have voluminous pockets. Anywhere else I'll be able to conceal it about my person very carefully from Mrs Paulclem. I like to have pockets, though her uncanny intuition and sense of smell may find me out.

I was only going to pop a bit in the coffee. Imagine being ejected from a swanky coffee shop though for hip flask misdemeanors. I would be disowned - or worse.

[jocky]

Australian homage to Ricky Ponting ;

As I was going up the stairs
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away. :)

On the subject of Xmas I asked Mrs J what she would really like more than anything. She thought deeply for about two seconds and replied " A widow's pension " :(

[The Atheist]

Australian homage to Ricky Ponting

Masterful!

Just a note about Jacques Kallis as well - at the end of the India/RSA test series he has now overtaken Tendulkar's average.

Not sure what that says about Kallis if Tendulkar is considered the Bradman of the late 20th/early 21st centuries.


On the subject of Xmas I asked Mrs J what she would really like more than anything. She thought deeply for about two seconds and replied " A widow's pension " :(

Haha!

She's a good woman, Mrs Jocky.

[prendrelemick]

Australian homage to Ricky Ponting ;

As I was going up the stairs
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away. :)



That's perfect.:smilielol5:


I suppose Kallis has quietly got on with his job, while Tendulkar has had 100 million fanatical admirers watching his every move.

And by the way, jolly well played England (polite applause.)

[gbrekken]

On the subject of Xmas I asked Mrs J what she would really like more than anything. She thought deeply for about two seconds and replied " A widow's pension " :(

hahahahahahahahahahahaa!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...It's a small one with no carry strap or anything. No problem at the allotment as I have voluminous pockets. Anywhere else I'll be able to conceal it about my person very carefully from Mrs Paulclem.
I like to have pockets, though her uncanny intuition and sense of smell may find me out.


Paul,
Back when I was living from the flask, I came up with a brilliant idea to conceal it.
Clad the flask in leather in such a way that it will appear as a wallet.
When Mrs P gives you the suspicious eye each time you take a snort, quickly shove the flask under your nose, breath in and say "I love the smell of fresh rawhide. Would you like a sniff my darling?"

.

[prendrelemick]

Try the Eric Morecambe method, Paul. Hide the bottle behind your straight arm and raise it to point at a bird, whilst taking a good swig.

[Paulclem]

Fine ideas chaps. I fear I may have to be more cunning if I'm to spice up my cafe coffee.
I have to confess that Mrs Paulclem is psychic and has practised witchcraft in the past.

[The Atheist]

I have to confess that Mrs Paulclem is psychic and has practised witchcraft in the past.

Doesn't that apply to all women?

[Paulclem]

Doesn't that apply to all women?


I fear so.

[prendrelemick]

My mrs P's psychic abilities are flawed, she "knows" I'm up to something, when I'm not (honest.)

[Paulclem]

My mrs P's psychic abilities are flawed, she "knows" I'm up to something, when I'm not (honest.)

She's using scrying abilities. You might not be doing it now, but at some point in the future...

[The Atheist]

I fear so.

Why are we heterosexual again?


My mrs P's psychic abilities are flawed, she "knows" I'm up to something, when I'm not (honest.)

Haha!

She's two steps in front of you, mate!

You only subconsciously intended to get up to something and she stopped you before your brain could bring it to the front.

Some woman, that.

[jocky]

My mrs P's psychic abilities are flawed, she "knows" I'm up to something, when I'm not (honest.)

:D

It is all part of the male tragedy. Personally I blame our less than wise brothers who make a habit of being found out. For my part, in the court of male indiscretions, Mrs jocky has never been able to prove anything, and boy has she got psychic abilities.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Maybe Sounds can help us understand from a woman's perspective...?
Do you sense this reply Sounds?


.

[prendrelemick]

Why are we heterosexual again?
In my case this woman must share some of the blame.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/diana-rigg101.jpg

[The Atheist]

Personally I blame our less than wise brothers who make a habit of being found out.

I wonder if it's secretly the alpha male coming out in those types - they actually want to be caught to show off that they A,can do it and B, get away with being caught.


In my case this woman must share some of the blame.

And mine!

Even at 70, she still looks great. (http://news.superiorpics.com/2007/09/02/DAME_DIANA_LIGHTS_UP_THE_STAGE.html)

Best looking Dame in history.

[soundofmusic]

Cunning.

It's a small one with no carry strap or anything. No problem at the allotment as I have voluminous pockets. Anywhere else I'll be able to conceal it about my person very carefully from Mrs Paulclem. I like to have pockets, though her uncanny intuition and sense of smell may find me out.

I was only going to pop a bit in the coffee. Imagine being ejected from a swanky coffee shop though for hip flask misdemeanors. I would be disowned - or worse.

Perhaps you should carry a medicine bottle filled with your favorite liquors for the fancy coffee shops; tell them you're taking quinine for your heart:reddevil:


Australian homage to Ricky Ponting ;

As I was going up the stairs
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away. :)

On the subject of Xmas I asked Mrs J what she would really like more than anything. She thought deeply for about two seconds and replied " A widow's pension " :(

I know that fellow; he's been about since Christmas. I thought it was my dear departed second Mr Sounds; but the other day he grabed my backside firmly (something, while alive, Mr Sounds would never do)
Tell Mrs Jocky, from a lass that knows, that no matter how good it looks on the onset; having the man is better than the pension. I've noticed that since Mr Sounds has not been about the lawn tends to grow faster, the plumbing is cantankerous and all the neighborhood aged drug dealers are asking me for dates. :yikes:


Paul,
Back when I was living from the flask, I came up with a brilliant idea to conceal it.
Clad the flask in leather in such a way that it will appear as a wallet.
When Mrs P gives you the suspicious eye each time you take a snort, quickly shove the flask under your nose, breath in and say "I love the smell of fresh rawhide. Would you like a sniff my darling?"

.

Didn't Mrs. G ask for a peek inside a nice fat wallet like that:arf:


My mrs P's psychic abilities are flawed, she "knows" I'm up to something, when I'm not (honest.)

I think men are always "up to something"; it's just that they have a different meter than we ladies. For instance, I recently had a nice long talk with a former girlfriend of my former boyfriend and found that she was meeting him for drinks during the same time that I was dating him. Now his meter had a zero guilt rate; where my meter is pushing 50%:mad5:




She's two steps in front of you, mate!

You only subconsciously intended to get up to something and she stopped you before your brain could bring it to the front.

Some woman, that.

I wonder if men are more spontaneous than women; perhaps we are smelling the phermones cooking before they rise to the occasion...


:D

It is all part of the male tragedy. Personally I blame our less than wise brothers who make a habit of being found out. For my part, in the court of male indiscretions, Mrs jocky has never been able to prove anything, and boy has she got psychic abilities.

I always wonder why men ask us to prove our suspicions; we have tried and convicted you already:smilielol5: Besides, I have never known a man to admit to anything even when the evidence is staring him in the face:reddevil:


Maybe Sounds can help us understand from a woman's perspective...?
Do you sense this reply Sounds?
.

Thank you Gilliatt...I've tried to make a few points.


In my case this woman must share some of the blame.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/diana-rigg101.jpg

Actually, that is another brilliant device by men: they throw out the occasional hot female for all of us to attack so that we become distracted by the matter at hand.


I wonder if it's secretly the alpha male coming out in those types - they actually want to be caught to show off that they A,can do it and B, get away with being caught.



Unfortunately, there is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who shows her a good time and then, in the midst of all that happiness, dumps her for another woman:crash:

[The Atheist]

Unfortunately, there is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who shows her a good time and then, in the midst of all that happiness, dumps her for another woman:crash:

Yes, I used the fact that women love the bad blokes most of all to my advantage for many years!

:D

[prendrelemick]

I wonder if men are more spontaneous than women; perhaps we are smelling the phermones cooking before they rise to the occasion...:

If by spontaneous you mean unorganised, then I am a very spontaneous kind a guy.






Actually, that is another brilliant device by men: they throw out the occasional hot female for all of us to attack so that we become distracted by the matter at hand.

Now of that we really are innocent, We need no ulterior motive to look at a beautiful woman - its hard wired, like a woman looking at shoes.