Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Big Dante]

That's right gentleman, exams are over which means only one thing. Two and a half months of holidays. I'd like to think that some serious domination took place in that exam room, hopefully all A's.

[prendrelemick]

Domination! I think Parker is into that sort of thing too.

[MarkBastable]

Domination! I think Parker is into that sort of thing too.

He doesn't refer to Lady Penelope as 'Madam' and 'Mistress' for nothing.

[MystyrMystyry]

I was thinking of buying a new watch, because a bloke just can't have enough reminders of what the time is. I would appreciate your valued considered second opinions on this technological wonder:

http://www.amazon.com/Zenith-96-0529-4035-Tourbillon-Titanium-Chronograph/dp/B001K3IXW8/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1321514854&sr=8-12

[prendrelemick]

errm does it actually tell the time?

[Big Dante]

That watch looks like it does more than tell time. It probably has a setting to change time to your wish.

[prendrelemick]

Yes, I'd buy that watch MM we blokes like our toys.
Now, when it is delivered you will need to sign for it. you could do worse than to use one of these.-


http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MONTBLANC-RAMSES-II-MOZART-BALLPOINT-PEN-PEN-NEW-BOX-/130602002018?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item1e687c6662

It was good enough for Rameses the Second AND Mozart.

[Paulclem]

I've got a £20 watch from Argos. Now we have phones , they seem to do everything else including telling the time, but I wouldn't give up my wristwatch. I forever be raising it unecessarily and gazing bemusedly at my freckled wrist.

[prendrelemick]

Hmm watches are very useful for glancing at and sighing when Mrs P is shopping/getting changed/getting her coat on/getting tea ready/brushing her hair/being in the bathroom/on the phone and driving to an appointment.

[AjaxAscendant]

Heh, for me, watching the watch ranks right up there with 'breathing' and all that other stuff.

[MystyrMystyry]

That's looks like an exclusive biro Pren!

As you may know I have a thing about pens and watches and their prices, and my honest rule is never to lay out more than ten for the former or a hundred for the latter. Trouble is I've also got a thing about technology (and steam punk) and it means I miss out on a lot of automatics (Seiko have re-issued their old Rolex-copy auto lines which are about the closest thing to actual Rolex autos dependability-wise as you can get), and I owe myself a full black Citizen eco drive, but it's over my limit by a mere five. Maybe I'll make the stretch for Christmas...

My wrist usually sports a five buck Casio imitation, just because it's ultra light and easy to read the full day and date at a glance (elements of which I seem to keep forgetting).

I like a heavy stainless steel analog chronograph for exercising (practical), and a good auto skeleton watch is a marvel for loose moments and just turning the brain off for precisely three minutes, though they require regular professional cleaning - the price tag should include a further hidden couple of grand to cover future dusting unless you learn to do it yourself.

But probably the most potentially useful watch I've stumbled across features a television remote (no I haven't bought one - [yet], but what a time saving idea! You'd save the time you'd normally waste searching for the proper remote)

I might go overboard with a diver sometime in the distance - not an Omega, I'd be happy with an El Cheapo provided it looks good - I wonder what Parker would have to say about that?

[MarkBastable]

I got a watch for Christmas when I was about twelve. I wore it for six or seven weeks.

I just can't see the point. Very rarely does anyone look at their watch to find out the time - it's a sort of nervous tic, really (or possibly a nervous toc) - and even when they do want to know what the time is, in almost all cases knowing the time will make no difference. People on delayed trains look at their watch constantly. I, having no watch, will get to London Bridge at exactly as late as them, at whatever time it is. When I get there, like them, I'll look at the clock on the platform. I, however, won't look at my watch before looking at the clock on the platform, and then again straight afterwards. If I'm meeting someone outside the station, I'll say, "Sorry I'm late - train was delayed." I won't ostentatiously look at my watch as I hurry towards them, explain about the train, show them my watch, sigh, look at my watch again and ask whether they think we have time for a drink before the show, expecting them to look at their watch in order to decide.

However, I can see a use for watches - which you might enjoy considering here (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1090486#post1090486).

As to pens, I toss them across desks, I leave them places, I chew them - I get through about four biros a day. It'd be pointless me having a nice pen and I can't really see what the advantage is. If it improves your handwriting, that seems to me an admission that one favours style over content. My feeling towards pens, really, is that - like cats, umbrellas and cigarettes - they don't really belong to anyone, and you should just use whichever one you find lying around.

[prendrelemick]

Good story Mark.

I like those free pens charities send you with their mail drops.

I only ever had one watch that survived the rigours of my trade, that was a £5.99 ten year gauranteed battery sealed up plastic digital thing. However the strap wore out after a year or two and a replacement was more than the watch was worth. Anyway I bought a metre of 12mm black knicker elastic for £1.99 and used that to make straps for the next for the next 12 years. Best watch I ever had. I like the price of prestige, rather than the prestige of price.

[MystyrMystyry]

Right with ya there. I'm an incorrigable shoe fixer-upper - if they've been comfortable and look like they can be fixed, if only for another day, I'll have a go with nails, staples, twine and pvc.

And sometimes paint and varnish make 'em look good as new.

[Big Dante]

Using a watch in my opinion is cheating. The real talented people can work out the time by reading the sun's position in the sky. It proves even more rewarding when you get it right as well.

[Paulclem]

My first watch was the first adult gadget I owned on the road to independance. I was ten and got it for my birthday. It was one of those timex watches that kids had, and a wind up one. I thought it was great, and got real pleasure being able to tell the time at any time without reference to anyone else.

Of course you're quite right Mark about the ostentatious wrist gazing, and it making no difference to arrivals. For me it has become a gesture of irritation, and is also the source of the game "Surreptitious" where you are listening to a powerful bore and try to glance at it without them noticing.

[cafolini]

Using a watch in my opinion is cheating. The real talented people can work out the time by reading the sun's position in the sky. It proves even more rewarding when you get it right as well.

That one was one of the funniest I ever heard.

I have a leather jacket of which I have become fond. I think I adore it, and to me it gets better with age. It's really a rag, according to everyone else, but I take it anywhere. People say that in winter, I wouldn't take it off to go to the bathroom. It's about 20 years old, and I have two brand new ones that I received as birthday presents. They are useless.

[Paulclem]

That one was one of the funniest I ever heard.

I have a leather jacket of which I have become fond. I think I adore it, and to me it gets better with age. It's really a rag, according to everyone else, but I take it anywhere. People say that in winter, I wouldn't take it off to go to the bathroom. It's about 20 years old, and I have two brand new ones that I received as birthday presents. They are useless.

I used to have an old jacket that was given to me by a mate. I really liked it too, but it looked like it had belonged to a former, and unsuccessful, lion tamer.

[DocHeart]

I used to have an old jacket that was given to me by a mate. I really liked it too, but it looked like it had belonged to a former, and unsuccessful, lion tamer.

My business partner loaned me a brown leather jacket during a trip to Poland a few years ago because I had packed carelessly. It's still with me. He doesn't mind. Before that, he had loaned it to his brother, who eventually returned it but only after purchasing one that looks and feels exactly the same (I've tried that on, too).

The inside lining is torn in places and there is a cigarette burn on the collar, obtained while queuing for Iron Maiden tickets.

I don't think I'm returning it any time soon.

[prendrelemick]

There is something about wearing a leather jacket that makes a chap feel a bit James Deanish. I had one that Mrs P thought ever so attractive - until we were married - then it was deemed too scruffy and replaced by knitwear.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

That's right gentleman, exams are over which means only one thing. Two and a half months of holidays. I'd like to think that some serious domination took place in that exam room, hopefully all A's.

Hope all went well. Enjoy the break


I was thinking of buying a new watch, because a bloke just can't have enough reminders of what the time is. I would appreciate your valued considered second opinions on this technological wonder:


Looks like something the Borg might use.


Heh, for me, watching the watch ranks right up there with 'breathing' and all that other stuff.

Which raises the question; why is a watch called a "watch"?
Because we watch it?


I got a watch for Christmas when I was about twelve. I wore it for six or seven weeks.

I just can't see the point. Very rarely does anyone look at their watch to find out the time - it's a sort of nervous tic, really (or possibly a nervous toc)...

...My feeling towards pens, really, is that - like cats, umbrellas and cigarettes - they don't really belong to anyone, and you should just use whichever one you find lying around.

Funny, and a brilliant story. You could have given Rod Serling a run for his money.

....................

There was a time when I had to rely on duct tape to keep the sole of a shoe from clapping at each step. Duct tape is amazing stuff. My coworkers were impressed with the longevity of the repair, though I was asked not to attend functions outside the office.

.

[Paulclem]

There is something about wearing a leather jacket that makes a chap feel a bit James Deanish. I had one that Mrs P thought ever so attractive - until we were married - then it was deemed too scruffy and replaced by knitwear.

Yes. My wife has often told me how unfashionable, scruffy and tasteless I was with the clothes I wore when we met, though she didn't mention it at the time.

[RobinHood3000]

I feel like "scruffy" is an adjective that we blokes should reclaim. Han Solo was once called scruffy-looking, and he didn't come off too terribly at all.

[Paulclem]

I feel like "scruffy" is an adjective that we blokes should reclaim. Han Solo was once called scruffy-looking, and he didn't come off too terribly at all.

Don't worry - I'm holding the flag for male scruffiness. It is my default state.

[MarkBastable]

Don't worry - I'm holding the flag for male scruffiness. It is my default state.

Mine too. A two-word phrase I despise even more than 'crafte fayre' is 'smart casual'. I can't do them separately, let alone simultaneously.

[prendrelemick]

Living at the top of a hill in popular walking country has its sartorial benefits. People tend to overheat and sit down to remove coats hats gloves scarfs etc. I call the last stretch my personal savile row. This year's haul is one bright purple coat (that smells of old lady) one blue hoody, one grey hat, three odd gloves and a sock. All will be put to good use. I no longer even bother to pick up cyclist's drinking bottles. .

[Paulclem]

I've been so busy lately that I've missed having a laugh on here.

I can do smart - I've got a funeral/ wedding/ going out suit - which is the last order of use.

Mick's savile Row. Have you got a saturday stall in Halifax?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...three odd gloves and a sock. All will be put to good use. I no longer even bother to pick up cyclist's drinking bottles. .

Haha - I had a good laugh…after looking up Savile Row.
Your three odd gloves and single sock, brought to mind a curious phenomenon over here, common in Kenya as well, that being the mystery of the sole shoe on the road.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/529/why-do-you-always-see-just-one-shoe-by-the-side-of-the-road



I've been so busy lately that I've missed having a laugh on here...


Parker is worried about you my friend. You've been banging your head against the Forum wall these past few days. Step on in here and have a bottle on the house.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXyvCJlPgME

.

[Paulclem]

Ha ha. I see you've been watching the fun. I jumped straight in the deep end. I think I'll take you up on that.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Gentleman,

I had the day off and I spent a good part of it admiring Raquel Welch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqWTXeNKiyw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n25xwZUYNyU&feature=related

There's nothing more I can add.
Perhaps it's just a phase I'm going through.
Is this mid life crisis?

.

[prendrelemick]

Just heard on the news. A wagon load of Marmite has over turned in Sheffield. I feel there ought to be a punchline somewhere.

[MystyrMystyry]

Marmite was originally devised (inasmuchas an industrial accident can be devised) as an organic alternative to axle grease. The deviser, having burnt off his taste buds in a previous 'experiment' thought it was quite palatable and not being one to miss a business opportunity decided to market it as edible alternative to food.

[Paulclem]

I say, I say, I say.

What do you call a wagon load of Marmite that has over turned in Sheffield?

A nice change from dripping.

[prendrelemick]

Rather than clean it up, the Highways authority have used it to resurface that section of the M1.

[Paulclem]

Rather than clean it up, the Highways authority have used it to resurface that section of the M1.

Aye - well we did af't lick road clean when we were kids...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

[MarkBastable]

Gentleman,

I had the day off and I spent a good part of it admiring Raquel Welch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqWTXeNKiyw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n25xwZUYNyU&feature=related

There's nothing more I can add.
Perhaps it's just a phase I'm going through.
Is this mid life crisis?

.


I'm not being intentionally provocative here but - really - she's utterly devoid of personality, talent, wit and depth, isn't she? You may say that with a body like that, any suspicion of personality, talent, wit or depth would be not merely unnecessary but practically obstructive. Maybe - I mean, I'm as fond of a dumb looker as the next part-time ogler. But, what?

Somehow her contrived status as the Sixties' answer to Helen of Troy makes her less attractive to me. Her reputation for allure defeats itself. To use an expression from the pubs around South London, I wouldn't - not even with yours.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I say, I say, I say.

What do you call a wagon load of Marmite that has over turned in Sheffield?

A nice change from dripping.


Rather than clean it up, the Highways authority have used it to resurface that section of the M1.


Aye - well we did af't lick road clean when we were kids...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

Funny and I caught your lick in the video.

I understand Marmite is being considered for use as a heat shield on reentry spacecraft.



I'm not being intentionally provocative here but - really - she's utterly devoid of personality, talent, wit and depth, isn't she? You may say that with a body like that, any suspicion of personality, talent, wit or depth would be not merely unnecessary but practically obstructive. Maybe - I mean, I'm as fond of a dumb looker as the next part-time ogler. But, what?

Somehow her contrived status as the Sixties' answer to Helen of Troy makes her less attractive to me. Her reputation for allure defeats itself. To use an expression from the pubs around South London, I wouldn't - not even with yours.

Hehe!, no provocation taken. It all started with that divine One Million Years B.C. poster – http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/pgbf-1mbc/

A friend had the poster blazoned across the wall of his room. Ever since I laid eyes on that loin cloth, Raquel had done for me what Farrah’s poster would do for so many other young blokes a few years later. Personality, talent, wit and depth are overrated when you have a pair of...uh…legs like those.
Giving the first video a second look, she does exhibit some talent with her dexterous, fluid motion from 1:14 to 1:24.

A couple others that got me lathered up during that time (early to mid 70’s): Adrienne Barbeau and Barbara Eden.

.

[MarkBastable]

Reports are coming in that a Marmite tanker has collided with a bread van in Towcester. Motorists are advised to treat it as a filling station.


(If only I had been old enough to write for The Two Ronnies.)

[prendrelemick]

Although I was too pre-pubescent to realize why, One Million Years BC fascinated me . I told my mum it was because of the dinosaurs and went to see it more than once.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JzE3u5STEk&feature=related

[MarkBastable]

Actually, it would be funnier if the second line were, "Approaching motorists are expected to brake fast."

Yes, I get very bored on the train.


(As an aside to non-Brits, 'Towcester' is not pronounced 'Tow-sesster'.)

[JuniperWoolf]

Actually, it would be funnier if the second line were, "Approaching motorists are expected to brake fast."


Haha, good one.

[Paulclem]

(As an aside to non-Brits, 'Towcester' is not pronounced 'Tow-sesster'.)

Same as Bicester and Alcester, the latter which I'd heard of but never seen written. For a long time I thought it began with an H due to the brummie pronunciation of it, and thus could not place the name and pronunciation together.

In Coventry we have two areas called Cheylesmore - which sounds like "childs moor"
and Styvechal pronounced "sty-chal".

These stumped me for a while, as did Cudworth in Yorkshire which is pronounced Cud - uth.

[MystyrMystyry]

Beer ad done quite well I reckon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0D38ODmciw&feature=relmfu

[prendrelemick]

Found a good beer last night - An old fashioned stout, like guiness but quenching. Made by Little Valley Brewery, a local bloke who has set up a brewery in an old turkey shed. It is good, but not internationally available yet .


Meanwhile Channel 4 are showing MALE beach volleyball this morning! What's the point of that?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Beer ad done quite well I reckon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0D38ODmciw&feature=relmfu

That is a good one. I don't watch much TV, unless it's GIRLS beach volleyball, but from what I've seen that commercial is more entertaining than most of the garbage TV shows.



Found a good beer last night - An old fashioned stout, like guiness but quenching. Made by Little Valley Brewery, a local bloke who has set up a brewery in an old turkey shed. It is good, but not internationally available yet .

Meanwhile Channel 4 are showing MALE beach volleyball this morning! What's the point of that?

I like the idea of the turkey shed.

What's the point?...to get you off the couch and back to your hoovering.

.

[Paulclem]

I had a night out in York yesterday with my two brother. A fine time was had by all.It's the first time we've met since the old man's funeral, and so it was about time. We're planning to go out more regularly now. February will be next.

[Teritus]

Did anyone see Man Utd get beaten by Crystal Palace? LOL.

I have a feeling they won't win any trophies this season.

[Paulclem]

Did anyone see Man Utd get beaten by Crystal Palace? LOL.

I have a feeling they won't win any trophies this season.

I'll be watching MOTD tonight - though a little disgruntledly since I read the score you posted. Do you know the efforts i go to to avoid hearing it on the news? I'll accept a snifter in compensation down at the cold ale club. :biggrin5:

[prendrelemick]

SNOW!!! and I don't like it.

[MystyrMystyry]

Meanwhile Rebel Members of the Japanese Arm of The International Matchbox Collectors Association decided to splinter off this weekend and form a Transformers Collectors Club...

[prendrelemick]

Splitters!

[Paulclem]

Yeah the TCC - splitters.

How's the snow doing? None down here yet, but it's a bit raw.

[Teritus]

You guys be thankful you have any snow at all. Where I live there's none ever, and only rarely frosts.

[prendrelemick]

What, in Baker street?


The snow is as mushy as a yorkshire man's peas.

[Big Dante]

It last snowed here quite lightly 6 years and a half years ago. I was sitting in my Grade 5 classroom looking out the window at the rest of the school playing in the snow. Our teacher gets up and closes the curtain and says that we can play in the snow at recess time. Recess comes and our excited class races outside to see the snow has not only stopped but is mostly gone. We were thrilled.

[Paulclem]

What, in Baker street?


The snow is as mushy as a yorkshire man's peas.

The London-centricity of the weather really annoys me. With a sweep of the hand over the great swathe of the North and Scotland, they'll just declare that there may be snow on higher ground. If we get a couple of millimetres in the southern counties, then it's wall to wall coverage.

Don't worry dante. Snow is one of those things that looks nice and you might even wish for once in a while. When its here you don't want it anymore though. (Though the prospect of a few days off, and being holed up at home for a week, or just a weekend, is alluring. I do like snow but many don't.)

[prendrelemick]

My BBC home page weather forcast location keeps reverting from Halifax to London. I was caught out the other day, expecting sunshine but getting thoroughly rained on.

(sorry, the weather is a subject of endless fascination to us Brits.)

[Teritus]

What, in Baker street?


The snow is as mushy as a yorkshire man's peas.

Yeah, that's not my real address. LOL. It's just a reference to my avatar.
I really live in Australia though.

[MarkBastable]

The London-centricity of the weather really annoys me. With a sweep of the hand over the great swathe of the North and Scotland, they'll just declare that there may be snow on higher ground. If we get a couple of millimetres in the southern counties, then it's wall to wall coverage.


I was in Birmingham the last few days, and it was bloody cold. Every time I'm in Birmingham, it's bloody cold. And whenever I'm in Scotland, it's cold and miserable. I've been about four times this year, and it's been cold and miserable every time. I was in the North East at least three times during 2011, and the weather was unfailingly overcast and grey. Overcast and grey the first time, with very little variation on the overcast-and-grey theme during subsequent visits.

So maybe the weather forecasters on telly are just trying to avoid patronising us - and especially those north of Euston - by telling us something bleeding obvious.

[Paulclem]

That's quite possible. I would like them to let me know when the wind is up, and not just strong enough to blow over high-sided vehicles on the A1.

Another thing is the constantly unaddmitted updating of the story. They mention warm weather, and omit it from the next forecast when it doesn't turn out that way. At least I get a good picture of what's happening south...

[prendrelemick]

This is endlessly fascinating to me.

[prendrelemick]

While the chaps are away ruining the dignity and decorum of the serious board, I fear Parker has been running Karioke nights in the snug.

[Taliesin]

With a six-month winter last year (snow came down at Late October and melted at the end of April), I was rather happy to see that there is yet none here even in mid-December. They predict a snowstorm for this evening though, so it might be that, concerning snow, my luck is running out.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

That's quite possible. I would like them to let me know when the wind is up, and not just strong enough to blow over high-sided vehicles on the A1.



With a six-month winter last year (snow came down at Late October and melted at the end of April), I was rather happy to see that there is yet none here even in mid-December. They predict a snowstorm for this evening though, so it might be that, concerning snow, my luck is running out.

Your bluster made the news here, hi-liting the number of uplifted kilts in Scotland.
btw - where's Jocky? we have a Christmas play to wrap up.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvmeUStFvz8


Taliesin,
This past summer was brutal for us; 41 consecutive days of 100 + deg F and 70 some odd total days of 100+ F. We'll take the snow please.


While the chaps are away ruining the dignity and decorum of the serious board, I fear Parker has been running Karioke nights in the snug.

Thank God for google - I'm forever looking up your terms and phrases.
"In the snug" = Pub, Public House , or here!. This equates to "watering hole" for me.
from the serious board - "Piles" = "Grapes" to me

and Mark's "sit in" I equate to a "doughnut" (takes the pressure off the grapes)

.

[qimissung]

So, this is what you guys are up too, talking about your hemorrhoids?

:leaving:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

What!?, why, that's disgusting.
No, I'm referring to Sangiovese and the proper means for transporting them down the treacherous hills of Tuscany.

.

[Teritus]

The London-centricity of the weather really annoys me. With a sweep of the hand over the great swathe of the North and Scotland, they'll just declare that there may be snow on higher ground. If we get a couple of millimetres in the southern counties, then it's wall to wall coverage.

Don't worry dante. Snow is one of those things that looks nice and you might even wish for once in a while. When its here you don't want it anymore though. (Though the prospect of a few days off, and being holed up at home for a week, or just a weekend, is alluring. I do like snow but many don't.)


I would certainly like some snow. The last summer wasn't too bad for where I live, but the ones before that were absolutely horrible! Most days were over 35 or 40 degrees C (not sure in farenheit). I think the highest was about 46C. I hope this one coming up isn't that bad.

[prendrelemick]

Suddenly picking grapes in the hills of Tuscany seems a little less romantic.


Snow is great as a concept, or upon Christmas cards, or for skiing holidays or for looking at through a triple glazed picture window. But not when its blowing down your neck as you,re going about your daily graft. My purple old lady coat cannot repel it.

[Paulclem]

Does the purple old lady coat have a fur collar?

Men's health is a hot topic on here. If Quimi's on to us, we'll have to use cyphers. Gapes is now out.

[prendrelemick]

Should we refer to them as coals upon the ring of fire? Or Higgs Bosuns? ( fundament-al particles.)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...If Quimi's on to us, we'll have to use cyphers. Gapes is now out.

"Gapes" is definately a contender. I like the subtle drop of the "r".


Should we refer to them as coals upon the ring of fire? Or Higgs Bosuns? ( fundament-al particles.)

Suddenly, listening to Johnny Cash in the hills of Tuscany seems a little less romantic.

What about a cypher for ulcers?....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYEzW8jEAjU

.

[Paulclem]

"Gapes" is definately a contender. I like the subtle drop of the "r".



Suddenly, listening to Johnny Cash in the hills of Tuscany seems a little less romantic.
.

:lol:

I like that subtle touch too. I wonder how I thought of it.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Fellas, the script is looking pretty thin for this year's play.
You got anymore rhymes left in you?
Otherwise, we'll have to rely on Captain Beefheart's narration to fill in the gaps.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqRHr5pEIFU ....Jocky where are you?

.

[soundofmusic]

So, I've been off trying to become rich and famous; but I had to come back to see what Parker has on the Christmas menu and how the Christmas Play is coming.

[MystyrMystyry]

Watch out for the Hugs Basins, which may spontaneously happen after too much Christmas cheer (doesn't hold anythng together though). The Hogs Bisons are another matter. I'm not sure what the Hags Besons are, but The Hergs B side song is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVcJ6FKzYZ0

[Paulclem]

So, I've been off trying to become rich and famous; but I had to come back to see what Parker has on the Christmas menu and how the Christmas Play is coming.

Hi Sounds. I was wondering the other day how you were getting on. How's the rich and famous project progressing?

We are thin on the ground for material Gilliatt. We'll have to plunder the other threads for stuff, or write about absent friends. Or perhaps we could do a year long roundup.

[prendrelemick]

Sounds! so you're not dead. :party: Have you been brushing with fame?

:santasmil I've hugged many a bason in my Christmas' past.

GG. As its tea break..

A hunting we will go
A hunting we will go
Quark and Nutrin-ee-o
A hunting we will go

we stalk the wounded Lepton
and trap the cunning Muon
up spin or down spin its all the same to us

So weave your webs like spiders
aim your Hadron colliders,
Fermions or Tau its all the same to us .

But one thing you must know son.
Don't mess with a Higgs- Boson.
If you're going to con Cern its all the same to us.

[MarkBastable]

Bob Calvert, the man whom I shall always hold in high esteem for writing the lyrics to I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper, has already written the song with which we close the show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFPLgGWMndc&feature=related

[prendrelemick]

Gawd! I went to see them in 1978.

[Paulclem]

Hawkwind are great.

I've been listening to them over the past 2 years, and I've just bought the lad their Eclipse album for xmas. He'll like them too. (He's into prog rock at the moment).

I remember a friend telling me that he - big disco buffoon that he was - once queued up to buy I Fell In Love With A Starship Trooper and had to ask for it after the chap in front had asked for Slaughterhouse Death Ray by The Manglers (or some such punky thing).

[prendrelemick]

The most significant thing I remember about "I lost my heart to a star ship trooper" was that it was sung by women in their underwear.

[MarkBastable]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wwilCs4Jqg

I was going to quote a lyric or two, but every line is a work of cheesy genius.


Sarah Brightman's punishment for doing this was later to be married to Andrew Lloyd Webber, which really is out of all proportion to the offence.

[Paulclem]

I remember them wielding some fibre optic batons in the video.

Looks like we'll have to heavily reference the Christmas Play with this classic.

[MarkBastable]

Just to get back to Hawkwind for a moment, and in order to immediately focus the nostalgic attention of men of a certain age, I will say one word: Stacia (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YI64FNkolA&feature=related).

[Paulclem]

There was a documentary on TV about Hawkwind last year or so. I had no idea. The only gigs I ever went to were to see my mates play in a pub.

[prendrelemick]

I saw them in Bridlington. I think they had just broken up and reformed (no Lemmy, no stacia). It was not a classy venue, there were about 300 fairly greasy unwashed fans all waiting for Silver Machine. I rememer the smell of burning sweaty socks from all the dope being smoked. After about an hour the lead singer (Dave Brock?) informed us the Drug Squad was backstage, and half the audience bolted for the doors. The concert ended there.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...Parker has on the Christmas menu and how the Christmas Play is coming.

Parker says he would love to give you a private screening.


...We are thin on the ground for material Gilliatt. We'll have to plunder the other threads for stuff, or write about absent friends. Or perhaps we could do a year long roundup.

We're set on characters. The stage sets are nearly complete, we're only lacking those two sheds of yours. I'll go back a few pages and see if I can track them down.


...GG. As its tea break..

A hunting we will go
A hunting we will go
Quark and Nutrin-ee-o
A hunting we will go

we stalk the wounded Lepton
and trap the cunning Muon
up spin or down spin its all the same to us

So weave your webs like spiders
aim your Hadron colliders,
Fermions or Tau its all the same to us .

But one thing you must know son.
Don't mess with a Higgs- Boson.
If you're going to con Cern its all the same to us.

Brilliant...only I'm struggling with who should get those lines; Old Seth or Padre Martini?


Bob Calvert, the man whom I shall always hold in high esteem for writing the lyrics to I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper, has already written the song with which we close the show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFPLgGWMndc&feature=related

Great choice for a closer, we'll work that in. I recognized the T-Rex front man at the intro.

Were you blokes part of the revolution?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgcxd9wtXUE

Is that Mick at 0:50 with the pork chops and lavender shirt?

.

[prendrelemick]

Yes, I can understand the performers fighting over who gets those lines!

That can't be me, I was a pretty boy in them days. Although Jeepster by T rex was the first record I ever bought.

[Paulclem]

I always think fondly of those mark Bolan lines:

Oh Deborah
You look like a Zeborah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX4bmlOuDEM

[MarkBastable]

When I compile 'best of' albums on my phone, I give them names that I feel should have been used by the artist in question. For instance, my Springsteen collection is called The Swamps of Jersey. My Elton faves are filed under Queen's Greatest Hits.

The T. Rex section is titled Over-rated Elf.

[soundofmusic]

Hi Sounds. I was wondering the other day how you were getting on. How's the rich and famous project progressing?

We are thin on the ground for material Gilliatt. We'll have to plunder the other threads for stuff, or write about absent friends. Or perhaps we could do a year long roundup.

Actually, it isn't going that bad; I may actually pay last years taxes before they take back the house:biggrinjester:


Sounds! so you're not dead. :party: Have you been brushing with fame?

:santasmil I've hugged many a bason in my Christmas' past.

GG. As its tea break..

A hunting we will go
A hunting we will go
Quark and Nutrin-ee-o
A hunting we will go

we stalk the wounded Lepton
and trap the cunning Muon
up spin or down spin its all the same to us

So weave your webs like spiders
aim your Hadron colliders,
Fermions or Tau its all the same to us .

But one thing you must know son.
Don't mess with a Higgs- Boson.
If you're going to con Cern its all the same to us.

Yes, I think I have one of fames tire marks on my fanny...otherwise. Love the poem; where's Jocky and Atheist off too?


Bob Calvert, the man whom I shall always hold in high esteem for writing the lyrics to I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper, has already written the song with which we close the show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFPLgGWMndc&feature=related

I don't know, it seems to me that David Bowie carried off the drag act a bit better:wink5:


Parker says he would love to give you a private screening.



We're set on characters. The stage sets are nearly complete, we're only lacking those two sheds of yours. I'll go back a few pages and see if I can track them down.



Brilliant...only I'm struggling with who should get those lines; Old Seth or Padre Martini?



Great choice for a closer, we'll work that in. I recognized the T-Rex front man at the intro.

Were you blokes part of the revolution?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgcxd9wtXUE

Is that Mick at 0:50 with the pork chops and lavender shirt?

.

After the last few years, Parker will not get the chance to drag me behind another screen. Last time, I found myself next morning in Pauls shed with Prens pink tup, Jockys wallet and gator boots and a tarred and feathered life sized Prince Charles doll...

[prendrelemick]

After the last few years, Parker will not get the chance to drag me behind another screen. Last time, I found myself next morning in Pauls shed with Prens pink tup, Jockys wallet and gator boots and a tarred and feathered life sized Prince Charles doll...


Ah yes, that can happen.

[MystyrMystyry]

Prince Charles! That's the Hag's Beson! The parasite that lives in Camilla Parker's Bowels!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Prince Charles! That's the Hag's Beson! The parasite that lives in Camilla Parker's Bowels!

Oh boy, I'm not touching that one.




...After the last few years, Parker will not get the chance to drag me behind another screen. Last time, I found myself next morning in Pauls shed with Prens pink tup, Jockys wallet and gator boots and a tarred and feathered life sized Prince Charles doll...

Sounds...by god, you just made the script with that morsel. It will fit in well. Parker is one of the actors. The blokes names will have to be altered, if you (and they) don't mind, to protect the innocent.

I'll be heading to the east Texas pines this weekend to visit my sister and nieces.
Have a great weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=audxGqo5AkQ

.

[Paulclem]

Actually, it isn't going that bad; I may actually pay last years taxes before they take back the house:biggrinjester:



Yes, I think I have one of fames tire marks on my fanny...otherwise. Love the poem; where's Jocky and Atheist off too?


After the last few years, Parker will not get the chance to drag me behind another screen. Last time, I found myself next morning in Pauls shed with Prens pink tup, Jockys wallet and gator boots and a tarred and feathered life sized Prince Charles doll...

:biggrin5:

The play is coming on well.

By the way, I know what fanny means in the US, but do you know what it refers to in the UK?

[Paulclem]

Oh boy, I'm not touching that one.



Sounds...by god, you just made the script with that morsel. It will fit in well. Parker is one of the actors. The blokes names will have to be altered, if you (and they) don't mind, to protect the innocent.

I'll be heading to the east Texas pines this weekend to visit my sister and nieces.
Have a great weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=audxGqo5AkQ

.

Have a good time. My wife really likes that song.

[Taliesin]

A propos "I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper"- around five or six years ago there was a series of space larps around here, mainly inspired by the style of Douglas Adams, I think. (not certain, for some strange reason I managed not to make it to any of those larps)

I'm not really sure what this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUxuhBsfKpk) is (a trailer? a compilation of material? something?), but it was made out of some images and videos made during those games plus some other stuff and it's set to the music of "I Lost My Heart To The Starship Trooper".

[soundofmusic]

Ah yes, that can happen.

I wouldn't have been half as upset if the blow up doll was Brad Pitt:leaving:


Prince Charles! That's the Hag's Beson! The parasite that lives in Camilla Parker's Bowels!

Ah, so that's why Camilla always turns her heels in when she walks:wink5:

Oh boy, I'm not touching that one



Sounds...by god, you just made the script with that morsel. It will fit in well. Parker is one of the actors. The blokes names will have to be altered, if you (and they) don't mind, to protect the innocent.

I'll be heading to the east Texas pines this weekend to visit my sister and nieces.
Have a great weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=audxGqo5AkQ

.

Glad I could help; it sounds like a doosey.


:biggrin5:

The play is coming on well.

By the way, I know what fanny means in the US, but do you know what it refers to in the UK?
No, what does fanny mean in the uk?

[Paulclem]

No, what does fanny mean in the uk?

Well, fanny in the US means bum. In the UK it's a similar region on a woman.

Delicate or what.

[soundofmusic]

Well, fanny in the US means bum. In the UK it's a similar region on a woman.

Delicate or what.

That's a good topic...in the states, fag means homosexual, in the UK it means a ciagarette :eek6:

[Paulclem]

We've got that over here now. It's good to see that the cultural exchange continues apace.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I'm not really sure what this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUxuhBsfKpk) is (a trailer? a compilation of material? something?), but it was made out of some images and videos made during those games plus some other stuff and it's set to the music of "I Lost My Heart To The Starship Trooper".

The central charater sandwiched in polyeurethane foam is reminiscent of Han Solo frozen in the carbonite slab by order of Jaba the Hut



...Glad I could help; it sounds like a doosey.

...No, what does fanny mean in the uk?

Sounds you delivered your line in the play with perfection.

Well, fanny in the US means bum. In the UK it's a similar region on a woman.

Delicate or what.

"Baby's got back" or "Junk in the trunk"
Every time I hear "junk in the trunk", visions of excessive cellulite comes to mind.

[prendrelemick]

My mate was always having a crafty fag round the back, in the days when smoking wasn't punishable by death that is.

[soundofmusic]

We've got that over here now. It's good to see that the cultural exchange continues apace.

Well, hopefully Britain won't alter too much; I've always appreciated the difference.


The central charater sandwiched in polyeurethane foam is reminiscent of Han Solo frozen in the carbonite slab by order of Jaba the Hut

Sounds you delivered your line in the play with perfection.

"Baby's got back" or "Junk in the trunk"
Every time I hear "junk in the trunk", visions of excessive cellulite comes to mind.

Thank you Gilliatt, I have to compliment my director.
You don't see alot of cellulite over here; just tons of fat:eek2:


My mate was always having a crafty fag round the back, in the days when smoking wasn't punishable by death that is.

I've never minded the crafty fags; but the more I work with dykes, the more annoying I find them...

[prendrelemick]

I've cleaned out many a dyke in my younger days

[soundofmusic]

I've cleaned out many a dyke in my younger days

It's a rough job; but someone has to do it.:goof:

Hey, where is Atheist and Jocky?

[Paulclem]

A quick summary of what has been discussed recently on The Cold Ale Thread.

Gird your loins before watching. Also you might need to get the "ear" for the voices.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrPGlRWcmuA

[soundofmusic]

A quick summary of what has been discussed recently on The Cold Ale Thread.

Gird your loins before watching. Also you might need to get the "ear" for the voices.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrPGlRWcmuA

Good stuff, Paul

[prendrelemick]

Happy Christmas Everyone! I'm just about to gird my loins and go out into the driving rain to see to cows, sheep, dog, ponies. But its Christmas so I don't care.



And thanks for the Christmas stamp GG, I can't seem to reply on your profile so I'll do it here.

[Paulclem]

How was your Christmas day? They've all disappeared and so I've got the computer out to have a play. It has been rather exhausting today - I'm not sure why. It's always busy, but both Mrs Paulclem and myself are completely knackered. Mrs Paulclem is working tomorrow too for a four hour shift, and so she's away in the land of nod. (I appreciate Mick, that yours is a 365 day year).

[prendrelemick]

We had a nice calm day. Highlights - dinner with "all the trimmings." The planned cosy singing round the piano, ended up just me and Mrs P belting out carols while the offspring hid in the other room and watched telly. Then we played a Lord of the Rings boardgame till bedtime (We all fell into darkness, I blame the Merlot .)

Today is the big family party knackering day.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Happy Christmas Everyone! I'm just about to gird my loins and go out into the driving rain to see to cows, sheep, dog, ponies. But its Christmas so I don't care.
And thanks for the Christmas stamp GG, I can't seem to reply on your profile so I'll do it here.

No bother on the reply. Sounds like it was a soggy Chritmas in your part of the world. We had off and on mist with some brief sleet showers. I'm about to post photo of that knapping kit on the "interesting" thread.


How was your Christmas day? They've all disappeared and so I've got the computer out to have a play. It has been rather exhausting today - I'm not sure why. It's always busy, but both Mrs Paulclem and myself are completely knackered. Mrs Paulclem is working tomorrow too for a four hour shift, and so she's away in the land of nod. (I appreciate Mick, that yours is a 365 day year).

All went well. Spent the past two days at my brother in law's home with their nine year old twins, keeping all in the spirit of the occasion. Like Mick, we had a wonderful dinner with all the trimmings. We had the traditional viewing of "Scrooge" with Albert Finney, including my brother in law's rendition of "December 25th" including a few of Fezziwig's dance moves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmjvAJS0_V4

Santa was generous this year. It is amazing how well he understands us...

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/th_IMGP2327.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/?action=view&current=IMGP2327.jpg)

.

[MarkBastable]

Nah. Alistair Sim (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWdJ1EXf5zo)- unimprovable.

[Paulclem]

Nah. Alistair Sim (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWdJ1EXf5zo)- unimprovable.

Agreed. We watched this version twice. We had the colourised one which is not as atmospheric in my view as the black and white version.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I vaguely recall hearing about and seeing perhaps portions of the Sim version in the past. Having seen the clip, I'll have to give it a shot for comparison.

[MarkBastable]

Agreed. We watched this version twice. We had the colourised one which is not as atmospheric in my view as the black and white version.

Yeah, the colourised one totally misses the point.

[soundofmusic]

:wink5:
Happy Christmas Everyone! I'm just about to gird my loins and go out into the driving rain to see to cows, sheep, dog, ponies. But its Christmas so I don't care.

And thanks for the Christmas stamp GG, I can't seem to reply on your profile so I'll do it here.

Yeah, that pretty much describes my extended family too:rolleyes:


How was your Christmas day? They've all disappeared and so I've got the computer out to have a play. It has been rather exhausting today - I'm not sure why. It's always busy, but both Mrs Paulclem and myself are completely knackered. Mrs Paulclem is working tomorrow too for a four hour shift, and so she's away in the land of nod. (I appreciate Mick, that yours is a 365 day year).

I had intended to work...the time and a half appealed to me and we had already bought our new toy; but I reconsidered that it wouldn't be very jolly for Jess, so we stayed home, watched a movie, took out some Thanksgiving turkey out of the freezer and made some side dishes and rewatched Star Wars Phantom Menace. I have sworn off the Christmas movies this year.
Late night, I went to my Spanish friends and had some rather indigestible pork with rice, beans and yuka followed by melting fudge, crying sick babies with fever and several disappointed wives and children who thought Santa had screwed up again this year.

We had a nice calm day. Highlights - dinner with "all the trimmings." The planned cosy singing round the piano, ended up just me and Mrs P belting out carols while the offspring hid in the other room and watched telly. Then we played a Lord of the Rings boardgame till bedtime (We all fell into darkness, I blame the Merlot .)

Today is the big family party knackering day.

That does sound lovely, I wish I could have been a fly on your wall...I would have left when you fell into darkness though.


No bother on the reply. Sounds like it was a soggy Chritmas in your part of the world. We had off and on mist with some brief sleet showers. I'm about to post photo of that knapping kit on the "interesting" thread.



All went well. Spent the past two days at my brother in law's home with their nine year old twins, keeping all in the spirit of the occasion. Like Mick, we had a wonderful dinner with all the trimmings. We had the traditional viewing of "Scrooge" with Albert Finney, including my brother in law's rendition of "December 25th" including a few of Fezziwig's dance moves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmjvAJS0_V4

Santa was generous this year. It is amazing how well he understands us...

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/th_IMGP2327.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/?action=view&current=IMGP2327.jpg)

.

It was warm and muggy here, the mosquitos were eating us alive. I love the Albert Finney version...particularly where he is making his speech and they are bringing out the coffin and singing thank you very much behind him.

Nah. Alistair Sim (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWdJ1EXf5zo)- unimprovable.

Yes, the Sims is my favorite of the non musical; I go between the colorized and black and white, they both have their points.


Agreed. We watched this version twice. We had the colourised one which is not as atmospheric in my view as the black and white version.


Yeah, the colourised one totally misses the point.


I vaguely recall hearing about and seeing perhaps portions of the Sim version in the past. Having seen the clip, I'll have to give it a shot for comparison.

[jocky]

Just saw the Xmas play, what can I say..... It is right up there with Springtime for Hitler. Minstrel in the Gallery was a nice touch and thanks for the wine G.G it was greatly appreciated. Mrs Jocky sends her warmest regards but if were you I would not open the envelope. Good to see you back Soundo you know this is where you belong. I see we are still light of one. Here is a bit of entertainment for the three stoogies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcKZoFRpZCI

:)

[prendrelemick]

Braw Hogmanay, Jocky.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Just saw the Xmas play, what can I say..... It is right up there with Springtime for Hitler. Minstrel in the Gallery was a nice touch and thanks for the wine G.G it was greatly appreciated. Mrs Jocky sends her warmest regards but if were you I would not open the envelope. Good to see you back Soundo you know this is where you belong. I see we are still light of one. Here is a bit of entertainment for the three stoogies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcKZoFRpZCI



Braw Hogmanay, Jocky.

Jocky, tis good to see you back and boy, what a prologue!
Ah, I'm happy to see the wine and Marmite delivery made it, a little care package I initially put together for Country Doctor to aid in his revolution...

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/th_IMGP2288.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/?action=view&current=IMGP2288.jpg)


The Blokes were recently discussing the attributes of marmite, so I figured I should sample some. The local Kroger grocery store carries it.
I can't begin to describe how disgusting it was, so I won't. I will say, it took some effort clearing it from the roof of my mouth.

I'll second the Braw Hogmanay (now that I know its meaning)

.

[Paulclem]

The Blokes were recently discussing the attributes of marmite, so I figured I should sample some. The local Kroger grocery store carries it.
I can't begin to describe how disgusting it was, so I won't. I will say, it took some effort clearing it from the roof of my mouth.

.

The ad campaigns here play on the love it hate it aspect of marmite. I've always liked it, but on hot buttered toast the smell reminds me of pig pens.

Welcome back Jocky

[prendrelemick]

Jocky, tis good to see you back and boy, what a prologue!
Ah, I'm happy to see the wine and Marmite delivery made it, a little care package I initially put together for Country Doctor to aid in his revolution...

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/th_IMGP2288.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Misc%20Album/?action=view&current=IMGP2288.jpg)


The Blokes were recently discussing the attributes of marmite, so I figured I should sample some. The local Kroger grocery store carries it.
I can't begin to describe how disgusting it was, so I won't. I will say, it took some effort clearing it from the roof of my mouth.



I'll second the Braw Hogmanay (now that I know its meaning)

.

I can see where you went wrong on the Marmite front, there is enough on that one cracker for a whole platefull of them. I don't say less is more, but with Marmite more can be too much.

[jocky]

See I leave you five minutes alone with my southern collleagues and they give you Marmite poisoning. You might think they are nice, farmers,teachers, Art historians what could possibly go wrong? Next thing you know they will offer you Smiths Crisps, is there no end to their depravity? Best to stick with the devil you know than the devils you know even worse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qcPS-J0HTg

Merry Solctice guys and gal :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I can see where you went wrong on the Marmite front, there is enough on that one cracker for a whole platefull of them. I don't say less is more, but with Marmite more can be too much.

I believe it was Mies van der Rohe who said "less is more" and it turns out he was not referring to his architectural philosphy. Gropius was visiting Mies and dropped a blob of marmite on his T-sqaure. Mies scooped it up and took a taste and voilà you get a popular quote.

btw I made a second attempt, this time spreading a very thin glaze over a saltine cracker.
The result proved more palatable. The key is finding a proper volumetric ratio of marmite to the host food item it is applied to.


See I leave you five minutes alone with my southern collleagues and they give you Marmite poisoning. You might think they are nice, farmers,teachers, Art historians what could possibly go wrong? Next thing you know they will offer you Smiths Crisps, is there no end to their depravity? Best to stick with the devil you know than the devils you know even worse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qcPS-J0HTg

Merry Solctice guys and gal :)

I looked up Smith's and see that they carry a line of pretzles under the "Parker's" brand name. Now we know who has a hand in furnishing the bar pretzles.

Another great by Jethro Tull that I wasn't aware of. I'll keep that one flagged.

.

[prendrelemick]

I believe it was Mies van der Rohe who said "less is more" and it turns out he was not referring to his architectural philosphy. Gropius was visiting Mies and dropped a blob of marmite on his T-sqaure. Mies scooped it up and took a taste and voilà you get a popular quote.

btw I made a second attempt, this time spreading a very thin glaze over a saltine cracker.
The result proved more palatable. The key is finding a proper volumetric ratio of marmite to the host food item it is applied to.



I looked up Smith's and see that they carry a line of pretzles under the "Parker's" brand name. Now we know who has a hand in furnishing the bar pretzles.

Another great by Jethro Tull that I wasn't aware of. I'll keep that one flagged.

.

That Gropius - such a messy eater - some of the greatest triumphs of the Bauhaus school was the result of a blob of jam or smear of chutney being dropped onto the blueprints. The iconic quad at the university of Baghdad was a carelessly dropped crumpet that landed jam side down and was accidentally re-created in concrete. Residents of Brasilia still rue the day he slapped the bottom of his ketchup bottle too hard and too near Oscar Neimeyer's desk - resulting in the traffic snarl ups of today. Good table manners are so important.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

That Gropius - such a messy eater - some of the greatest triumphs of the Bauhaus school was the result of a blob of jam or smear of chutney being dropped onto the blueprints. The iconic quad at the university of Baghdad was a carelessly dropped crumpet that landed jam side down and was accidentally re-created in concrete. Residents of Brasilia still rue the day he slapped the bottom of his ketchup bottle too hard and too near Oscar Neimeyer's desk - resulting in the traffic snarl ups of today. Good table manners are so important.

haha! brilliant!

Oh!, don't get me started. I suppose you've heard of the Gropius fortune cookie incident involving Le Corbusier and his model of the Ronchamp chapel.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/07/Ronchamp_005.jpg/220px-Ronchamp_005.jpg



Speaking of that marmite; does it require refridgeration after opening, or can it stay at room temperature?
I have been keeping it in the fridge.

.

[Paulclem]

It'll be fine in the cupboard. I think it's virtually indestructible. If it's at room temp, it spreads easier too.

[prendrelemick]

It still goes on, look at Foster's Gherkin.

[MarkBastable]

It still goes on, look at Foster's Gherkin.

And Spaghetti Junction.

[prendrelemick]

Exactly. The influence of the Comestible School of Architecture is everywhere.

[MarkBastable]

And Spongebob's house. No - hang on. That actually is a pineapple.

[soundofmusic]

Just saw the Xmas play, what can I say..... It is right up there with Springtime for Hitler. Minstrel in the Gallery was a nice touch and thanks for the wine G.G it was greatly appreciated. Mrs Jocky sends her warmest regards but if were you I would not open the envelope. Good to see you back Soundo you know this is where you belong. I see we are still light of one. Here is a bit of entertainment for the three stoogies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcKZoFRpZCI

:)

Thanks Jocky, I missed the blokes...out trying to earn a poor old hags wages...tough crowd on this side of the pond. Saw Atheist over on Facebook with some of the other crowd that is starting to booze it up over there.


And Spongebob's house. No - hang on. That actually is a pineapple.

Now I'm glad you all have left the elevated conversation for a while and hit on something I know about..
You blokes never cease to amaze me, from the arts, theatre...did I spell that right...literature, modern music and spongebob...good show...:hat:

[Paulclem]

Thanks Jocky, I missed the blokes...out trying to earn a poor old hags wages...tough crowd on this side of the pond. Saw Atheist over on Facebook with some of the other crowd that is starting to booze it up over there.



Now I'm glad you all have left the elevated conversation for a while and hit on something I know about..
You blokes never cease to amaze me, from the arts, theatre...did I spell that right...literature, modern music and spongebob...good show...:hat:

Spongebob - what a great cartoon. They don't really go with the underwater thing though do they.

I'm thinking of starting a "Look what they did to my thread" thread.

[soundofmusic]

Spongebob - what a great cartoon. They don't really go with the underwater thing though do they.

I'm thinking of starting a "Look what they did to my thread" thread.

Sponge Bob and my first husband could be twins, and they both are named Bob...of course, Sponge bob is much more likable.
Yes, I think that would be a great idea Paul.

[MarkBastable]

Spongebob - what a great cartoon. They don't really go with the underwater thing though do they.


So we're looking at a hyperactive sponge in short trousers who lives in a pineapple next door to an Easter Island statue that's home to a misanthropic squid, and both of them work for an entrepreneurial crab whose daughter is a hammerhead shark and who runs a burger joint which is the envy of a Machiavellian monocular plankton married to a computer.

And your concern is that the submarine aspect of this otherwise coherent set-up isn't fully recognised in the execution of the show?

[Paulclem]

So we're looking at a hyperactive sponge in short trousers who lives in a pineapple next door to an Easter Island statue that's home to a misanthropic squid, and both of them work for an entrepreneurial crab whose daughter is a hammerhead shark and who runs a burger joint which is the envy of a Machiavellian monocular plankton married to a computer.

And your concern is that the submarine aspect of this otherwise coherent set-up isn't fully recognised in the execution of the show?

:biggrin5: You hit the nail on the head.

I like the show, the jokes are brilliant - a bit like the adults and the kids I heard laughing at different times in the cinema during the untouchables -, the plots are varied and interesting and the characterisation is strong. But I can't help noticing the odd underwater inconsistency.

Related to this is The Wind in the Willows. A fine book for children, but with unresolved problems of scale - particularly with the original drawings. It just doesn't quite fit. I would always recommend both though, and probably not mention my idiosyncratic contextual irritation.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

It'll be fine in the cupboard. I think it's virtually indestructible. If it's at room temp, it spreads easier too.

Thanks.
Earlier this week I placed the jar on the counter. Tonight I tried some on a corn tortilla chip and a french fry. The viscosity was much lower at room temp. When kept in the fridge, the viscosity was such that I was trailing a meter long string behind the knife.



So we're looking at a hyperactive sponge in short trousers who lives in a pineapple next door to an Easter Island statue that's home to a misanthropic squid, and both of them work for an entrepreneurial crab whose daughter is a hammerhead shark and who runs a burger joint which is the envy of a Machiavellian monocular plankton married to a computer.

And your concern is that the submarine aspect of this otherwise coherent set-up isn't fully recognised in the execution of the show?


Don’t forget the dimwitted deuteragonist, but loyal friend Patrick Star and the spunky Sandy Cheeks, a land lubbing squirrel from Texas…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxHB33zfV7U&feature=related

.

[MarkBastable]

I do like Spongebob, but if you're looking for a really funny, intelligent and unfailingly entertaining kids' cartoon, I'd suggest Phineas and Ferb.

[prendrelemick]

I prefer the more direct humour of Tom and Jerry. Although it is clever in its rejection of the interllectual in favour of braining Tom with a frying pan.

[Paulclem]

I do like Spongebob, but if you're looking for a really funny, intelligent and unfailingly entertaining kids' cartoon, I'd suggest Phineas and Ferb.

Have you seen the Regular Show? It's for kids apparently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4AC0uvU0jQ

[Paulclem]

Of course there's always the cartoons for grownups - (I didn't want to put adult cartoons).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp2CkuhkqXQ

[MarkBastable]

I prefer the more direct humour of Tom and Jerry. Although it is clever in its rejection of the interllectual in favour of braining Tom with a frying pan.

Yeah, I'm with you on Tom and Jerry - though there's a golden period, following the prototypical experiments with animations of skanky-looking Tom and rotund, childish Jerry, and before the thing was hijacked by Hanna-Barbera and you got to see the humans' faces.

The best Tom and Jerry cartoons are produced by Fred Quimby, as the intro credits'll tell you about fifteen seconds in. But I'm such a geek, I don't need to see that. I can tell whether it's a good one even if I'm in the next room, just from the recording quality of the signature tune.

If you're talking about grown-up cartoons, I'd recommend Drawn Together - the premise is that cartoon characters from different genres and eras are thrown together in a kinda Big Brother House. It's relentlessly tasteless. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glBLCVwhbEQ&feature=related)

[soundofmusic]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akAEIW3rmvQThis was my favorite cartoon when I was a kid.

[soundofmusic]

I loved Bugs too, learned all my show tunes from him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc2L_7m_4mI

[MarkBastable]

I like the show, the jokes are brilliant - a bit like the adults and the kids I heard laughing at different times in the cinema during the untouchables...

I have to assume that the kids around your way have a dark and rather twisted sense of humour that the adults completely miss. But I'd still like to know what the grown-ups found funny in this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIF_WdPUBFo)....

[soundofmusic]

I have to assume that the kids around your way have a dark and rather twisted sense of humour that the adults completely miss. But I'd still like to know what the grown-ups found funny in this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIF_WdPUBFo)....

I have got to get that movie: all the greats are in it...it's not funny though...well, maybe that Robert Deniro smile you always expect.

[Paulclem]

I have to assume that the kids around your way have a dark and rather twisted sense of humour that the adults completely miss. But I'd still like to know what the grown-ups found funny in this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIF_WdPUBFo)....

:lol:

I'm never far from foolishness.

I mean of course the Incredibles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2DjNebn42c&feature=related

The kids have become rather dark and twisted now - being 20 and 16. I bought then Don't Look Now in recognition of this for xmas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYICwstBwnM

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I loved Bugs too, learned all my show tunes from him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc2L_7m_4mI

Can't beat the WB Loonie Tunes. Whenever I hear the opening theme I recall a "Revenge of the Nerds" moment in high school. The football jocks had a lousy season one year and the band geeks decided to get even by playing the looney tunes, toon as the football team ran out onto the field at the start of a game.
I believe it was this version... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0S77nTc1NE&feature=related

"King of the Hill" re runs are the regular fare at 8:00 pm. In fact I'm catching the second episode now.
Paul you might appreciate this one... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kK4DBoGAxA

{edit}

Being the considerate bloke that I am, I shall by preserve the purity of the author thread and post this here...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChGxwRq3YcI

.

[Paulclem]

Can't beat the WB Loonie Tunes. Whenever I hear the opening theme I recall a "Revenge of the Nerds" moment in high school. The football jocks had a lousy season one year and the band geeks decided to get even by playing the looney tunes, toon as the football team ran out onto the field at the start of a game.
I believe it was this version... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0S77nTc1NE&feature=related

"King of the Hill" re runs are the regular fare at 8:00 pm. In fact I'm catching the second episode now.
Paul you might appreciate this one... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kK4DBoGAxA

{edit}

Being the considerate bloke that I am, I shall by preserve the purity of the author thread and post this here...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChGxwRq3YcI

.

Good King of the Hill clip. I wonder what the Monk's view of propane is.

[prendrelemick]

Just sat through an episode of Teletubbies. Seems to me they've burnt out, the plot was boring and predictable the acting was second rate (apart from the rabbits.) They've definitely lost their edge.

Bring back Andy Pandy I say.

[Paulclem]

Just sat through an episode of Teletubbies. Seems to me they've burnt out, the plot was boring and predictable the acting was second rate (apart from the rabbits.) They've definitely lost their edge.

Bring back Andy Pandy I say.

Teletubbies always had it over Boobah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfFLj149EEo

When I first saw this, when my kids were young - honest, I thought I was having a flashback.

Andy Pandy was good - the first kiddies programme I remember sseeing. I did like The Herbs though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gb1JClFvfo

[soundofmusic]

Can't beat the WB Loonie Tunes. Whenever I hear the opening theme I recall a "Revenge of the Nerds" moment in high school. The football jocks had a lousy season one year and the band geeks decided to get even by playing the looney tunes, toon as the football team ran out onto the field at the start of a game.
I believe it was this version... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0S77nTc1NE&feature=related

"King of the Hill" re runs are the regular fare at 8:00 pm. In fact I'm catching the second episode now.
Paul you might appreciate this one... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kK4DBoGAxA

{edit}

Being the considerate bloke that I am, I shall by preserve the purity of the author thread and post this here...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChGxwRq3YcI

.

I say, nothing like foghorn leghorn...I love when he teaches Prissys son or nephew or whatever...
What is ann margaret doing there...I can't make up my mind if it's sexy or gross.


Just sat through an episode of Teletubbies. Seems to me they've burnt out, the plot was boring and predictable the acting was second rate (apart from the rabbits.) They've definitely lost their edge.

Bring back Andy Pandy I say.

I think they started taking drugs, happens to all the actors after a while:sosp:

Teletubbies always had it over Boobah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfFLj149EEo

When I first saw this, when my kids were young - honest, I thought I was having a flashback.

Andy Pandy was good - the first kiddies programme I remember sseeing. I did like The Herbs though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gb1JClFvfo

Oh my god, a japanese telletubie...

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Teletubbies always had it over Boobah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfFLj149EEo

...honest, I thought I was having a flashback. ...

Flashback!?...I thought I was on mushrooms!
Talk about sensory overload.


...What is ann margaret doing there...I can't make up my mind if it's sexy or gross...

I don't know, but seeing the baked beans, chocolate and satin sheets brought this song to mind... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-ee8SO47Sc&feature=related


.

[soundofmusic]

Flashback!?...I thought I was on mushrooms!
Talk about sensory overload.



I don't know, but seeing the baked beans, chocolate and satin sheets brought this song to mind... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-ee8SO47Sc&feature=related


.

That is one kinky woman, have you ever been in bed after someone eats crackers....of course, that's not quite as bad as when they eat chocolate on the couch.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

That is one kinky woman, have you ever been in bed after someone eats crackers...

Sadly, I face this dilemma each night. Slepping on cracker crumbs and salt crystals is like sleeping on a bed of nails. Eventually, I learned to keep one of those small hand held vacuums next to the bed. Unfortunaltely the aperatue of the vacuum is so small, it was taking too long to clear up the crumbs, so now I lay down "shield" blanket on my side of the bed.

.

[MarkBastable]

Sadly, I face this dilemma each night. Slepping on cracker crumbs and salt crystals is like sleeping on a bed of nails. Eventually, I learned to keep one of those small hand held vacuums next to the bed. Unfortunaltely the aperatue of the vacuum is so small...


I had to stop reading at that point. I didn't want to know what happens next.

[Paulclem]

I had to stop reading at that point. I didn't want to know what happens next.

:lol:

Bed crumbs - 'tis the very devil's work. It's like a somnambulist's scourging is what it is.

[prendrelemick]

Stiff upper lips to the fore, as England get spanked by Pakistan in the cricket.

I rememer some japery that went wrong by the then young and frolicsome Mrs P involving a vacuum cleaner and my left testicle - I still pale at the sound of a Goblin starting up!

[Paulclem]

Stiff upper lips to the fore, as England get spanked by Pakistan in the cricket.

I rememer some japery that went wrong by the then young and frolicsome Mrs P involving a vacuum cleaner and my left testicle - I still pale at the sound of a Goblin starting up!

Good job it wasn't a Dyson with root cyclone technology. I'd choose the goblin if it ever came to it.

Not that it would - we have a very functional but effective Henry. The turbo head might prove to be a problem with the spinning brushes.

[prendrelemick]

It is now 14 hours since our beloved TV remote went missing. I last saw it in Grandchild Number Two's hands, it seemed happy enough, flicking randomly through channels and menus, there was no indication anything was wrong. Then last night we couldn't find it inspite of an intensive search. Admittedly it has done this before - gone missing for an hour or two but it had always turned up. We have recently been working hard to show that it is loved and appreciated, given it it's own special place on the mantle shelf and have just provided it with a new set of Duracells!

So if anyone knows anything of its whereabouts please get in touch, At the veryleast me and my family need closure, we need to know what has happened , so that we can get on with our lives.

[Paulclem]

Commiserations. I know how you feel. It will turn up again. Do you have an old video player? We used to find things stuffed in there by our small children.

We recently lost the DVD remote which I found after I had dropped the TV remote down the back of the bookcase. We also have a Freesat remote, which sits next to the remote for the gas fire. What would be good would be a remote built into the settee or armchair.

[MarkBastable]

Do you have an old video player? We used to find things stuffed in there by our small children.


So did we. Jam sandwiches, mostly.

[MystyrMystyry]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61pdf00kdZS._AA1000_.jpg

Couldn't resist

[EDIT: Actually on a bit of a cross thread, it's tunable - meaning that it can be worn into any pub with a television which can then be remotely turned off]

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...picture of watch...

Couldn't resist

[EDIT: Actually on a bit of a cross thread, it's tunable - meaning that it can be worn into any pub with a television which can then be remotely turned off]

Haha !! except what happens when you take it off and the rug rats get their greasy paws on that?
A tried and true, incapable of being lost remote, that my late father invented, consists of one 10 ft long bamboo pole with a notch cut in one end. The pole remains on the floor next to the Lazy Boy recliner. One simply lifts the pole, lines up the notches on the thumb blade knob channel adjuster and twists.
Of course that was back when we had the 1972 Zenith.

.

[prendrelemick]

We had a similar device to work the Grundig in the bedroom. ( a long piece of half inch dowel ) I had to steady it between my toes to operate it.

[Paulclem]

We had a similar device to work the Grundig in the bedroom. ( a long piece of half inch dowel ) I had to steady it between my toes to operate it.

My cousin used pliars on the end of a stick in the early 1980's. You had to be resourceful then - well in Fitzwilliam South Yorkshire you did. (Ever heard of it Mick? It was like the mining equivalent of hillbilly country - cept there weren't never no geetars playin').

.....so I'm going into the Library toilets in the town centre yesterday...and a Lady cleaner - must have a strong stomach - was walking down the steps into the bowels of the place in front of me. She had placed a sign which said "Female Cleaner in attendance" - (which does make it sound like some up town dressing room) - to warn the users that she would be in there. As she gets to the bottom of the steps she calls out a warning - Lady Cleaner coming in, and with that she plunged into what is very often a fetid pit.

The place is kept reasonably clean, but the users are often not reasonably clean themselves. I did feel sorry for this poor woman. Anyway, she goes off to see to the cubicles, past the rows of geezers swilling out the urinals.

So I set myself up at one, in the usual fashion - leaving a space between myself and the next user - who happened to be a big fat bloke with his jeans rucked delightfully around his voluminous backside.

I glanced over at the this poor cleaning Lady, and proceeded with the business in hand, when up pipes the geezer near to me as he's hauling up his massive jeans who says: "Huh a woman cleaner. I bet she thinks all her Chrismases have come at once."

I burst out laughng at the sheer ludicrous audacity of the guy. I go in there quite a bit, and I have to say I've never seen anyone in there who remotely looks like a bronzed Adonis or who is not way past their shelf life.

Tis the rich tapestry - which needs moving from there lest it become too noisome for further use.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

We had a similar device to work the Grundig in the bedroom. ( a long piece of half inch dowel ) I had to steady it between my toes to operate it.

Haha!
I had to look up the Grundig. Now I'm in tune.
Was that a Birch or Poplar dowel by the way?


...as he's hauling up his massive jeans who says: "Huh a woman cleaner. I bet she thinks all her Chrismases have come at once."

I burst out laughng at the sheer ludicrous audacity of the guy. I go in there quite a bit, and I have to say I've never seen anyone in there who remotely looks like a bronzed Adonis or who is not way past their shelf life.

Tis the rich tapestry - which needs moving from there lest it become too noisome for further use.

Haha! great story Paul.
I just might borrow that last line of yours, has a nice quotable ring to it.

.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Did any of you blokes wear "Chukka Boots" aka "Turf Boots" during the Golden Age (mid 60's to the end of the Disco era) ?
How about you Sounds?

I stumbled across this video and noticed the striped shirt Mod wearing a pair.
If you pause at 1:47 you'll get a good shot of the shoes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uFcPjILC7k

My pair had the soles that looked like the same material as gum erasers.

[Paulclem]

I mostly wore trainers, but then I wasn't out and about until the late 70's eighties.

Do you chaps feel self conscious about having stuff like colds and not wanting the label of man-flu to be bandied about? I consider myself to be fairly tough, and am insulted when anyone suggests it.

[prendrelemick]

Me too, I am of the seventies, it was iridescent leather and platform soles for me.

(Does a double-take) You have a remote for the fire!

If we had one of those it would have to be a device that could carry a bucket across the yard, open the coal shed door, shovel coal into bucket, bring it back (wiping it's feet-or wheels,) chuck some on the Rayburn, give the bottom grate a riddle and park up in the corner.

Mrs P is the nearest thing I have to that at the moment. I hope she doesn't go down with man flu.

[MarkBastable]

I too went for the seriously thick soles and stacked heels (I looked like Herman Munster's undernourished cousin) up until about 1977, when punk toppled platforms - and then I went for something like this...

http://www.garageland.fi/media/catalog/product/cache/1/thumbnail/225x300/040ec09b1e35df139433887a97daa66f/R/e/Red_Suede_Chelsea_Boots.jpg

..though in leather rather than suede. I don't take sufficient care of shoes to be trusted with suede.

I was wearing those until...oooh...practically last Thursday.

[Paulclem]

Me too, I am of the seventies, it was iridescent leather and platform soles for me.

(Does a double-take) You have a remote for the fire!

If we had one of those it would have to be a device that could carry a bucket across the yard, open the coal shed door, shovel coal into bucket, bring it back (wiping it's feet-or wheels,) chuck some on the Rayburn, give the bottom grate a riddle and park up in the corner.

Mrs P is the nearest thing I have to that at the moment. I hope she doesn't go down with man flu.

I don't know where Mrs Paulclem got the gas fire with remote from. I'd have been happy with a button, particularly since a replacement cost me 70 quid! I was sure I was being ripped off, but what can you do?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I mostly wore trainers, but then I wasn't out and about until the late 70's eighties.

Do you chaps feel self conscious about having stuff like colds and not wanting the label of man-flu to be bandied about? I consider myself to be fairly tough, and am insulted when anyone suggests it.

Same here, referring to "out and about", the chukka boots got me past the platforms.

Just man-up and tell 'em it's "walking Pneumonia" or the consumption and go about your manly duties. They'll back away.


Me too, I am of the seventies, it was iridescent leather and platform soles for me.

(Does a double-take) You have a remote for the fire!

If we had one of those it would have to be a device that could carry a bucket across the yard, open the coal shed door, shovel coal into bucket, bring it back (wiping it's feet-or wheels,) chuck some on the Rayburn, give the bottom grate a riddle and park up in the corner.

Mrs P is the nearest thing I have to that at the moment. I hope she doesn't go down with man flu.

Haha! Yes; Paul's remote comment caught my eye as well.
Don't forget to have Mrs. P grab a few of those "fire frisbees", while she's at it.

How high were those platforms? I'm picturing you in something like this (pause at 2:32):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UypeE3zTwBs


I too went for the seriously thick soles and stacked heels (I looked like Herman Munster's undernourished cousin) up until about 1977, when punk toppled platforms - and then I went for something like this...

http://www.garageland.fi/media/catalog/product/cache/1/thumbnail/225x300/040ec09b1e35df139433887a97daa66f/R/e/Red_Suede_Chelsea_Boots.jpg

..though in leather rather than suede. I don't take sufficient care of shoes to be trusted with suede.

I was wearing those until...oooh...practically last Thursday.

They compliment the face.



Gotta run, I'm missing the second King of the Hill episode.


.

[prendrelemick]

Nice platforms!

During the day I was mucking out pigs, but come the night I was a Yorkshire Jason King. Purple suit, flares, waistcoat, big ties, pink shirt and platform shoes. (and Moped naturally) They'd never seen anything like it down at the Dog and Gun.

I still don't understand how those village maidens could resist me.

[Paulclem]

Nice platforms!

During the day I was mucking out pigs, but come the night I was a Yorkshire Jason King. Purple suit, flares, waistcoat, big ties, pink shirt and platform shoes. (and Moped naturally) They'd never seen anything like it down at the Dog and Gun.

I still don't understand how those village maidens could resist me.

By the time I came along it was skin tight drainpipes again. I remember buying some flairs from an ex-catalogue shop for a quid or something and taking them in myself. Unfortunatley I ended up with lumps bulging out at the knees. I think my Ma did something to them to save the shame of me being pointed and laughed at on the street.

[MarkBastable]

By the time I came along it was skin tight drainpipes again. I remember buying some flairs from an ex-catalogue shop for a quid or something and taking them in myself. Unfortunatley I ended up with lumps bulging out at the knees. I think my Ma did something to them to save the shame of me being pointed and laughed at on the street.

I remember drainpipe jeans so tight that they cut off the blood supply, leading to the very weird and disconcerting experience of getting pins'n'needles in your dick.

[Paulclem]

I remember drainpipe jeans so tight that they cut off the blood supply, leading to the very weird and diconcerting experience of getting pins'n'needles in your dick.



That's put lump in my throat in the same way the jeans did.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I remember drainpipe jeans...

Well...what's the story on the guitars?
We know your position on hobbies, surely this isn't a collection of yours!

[MystyrMystyry]

Eh? Axes aren't a hobby Gilliatt - they're a fundamental vitamin as important as food and shelter. Each has subtle nuances in its design and manufacture and the way they make you feel when playing that make them a uniquely individual work of art, like the difference between a Canaletto and a Titian.

Ringo has about twenty guitars, Ozzy Osborne about thirty - and neither of them are renowned for this passionate facet (it's a personal thing).

[MarkBastable]

Well...what's the story on the guitars?
We know your position on hobbies, surely this isn't a collection of yours!

Hobby? Hobby?! Have you taken leave of your senses? Hobby, for Christ's sake?

Were it not so obvious that you are in some way mentally ill, I'd demand satisfaction, sir.

[Paulclem]

This is looking good.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Hobby? Hobby?! Have you taken leave of your senses? Hobby, for Christ's sake?

Were it not so obvious that you are in some way mentally ill, I'd demand satisfaction, sir.

Haha...Yes, I left my cents in a pair of jeans at the laundromat, but honestly I thought those were miniatures for Mark's Troll doll collection.
However, my original question still stands. I'm curious.

.

[MarkBastable]

Well, they're my guitars. Except there's one missing from the pic because I've just bought this....

http://www.gear4music.com/media/24640/600/preview.jpg

...which, if it were any blacker, would just look like a guitar-shaped hole in the space-time continuum.

[prendrelemick]

Nice collection, so... phallic.

[Paulclem]

Well, they're my guitars. Except there's one missing from the pic because I've just bought this....

http://www.gear4music.com/media/24640/600/preview.jpg

...which, if it were any blacker, would just look like a guitar-shaped hole in the space-time continuum.

What a resonance that would have - a guitar made out of a black hole and strung with the rings of Saturn... though the black hole would suck in any vibrations made by those celestial strings wouldn't it?

I'm sorry, I've just been on the Legalise Cannabis thread.

Anyway I have had to give it up. I used to do it until the small hours perched on my computer chair and gazing intently at the screen. I could only do it when the rest of the family was abed due the frequent jerking and cursing, and I had to give it up because my wrist started swelling up with the effort, causing weakness and pain. Yes - I've given up Quake Online. My keyboard hand - left - was under great strain with the left right/ forward /back movement. I now have more time.

[Paulclem]

My physics is way out. Of course:

In space, no-one can hear your guitar scream...

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Well, they're my guitars. Except there's one missing from the pic because I've just bought this....

...which, if it were any blacker, would just look like a guitar-shaped hole in the space-time continuum.

and a fine collection it is Mark!
Now for my feeble attempt at that satisfaction you demanded...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1C1N8KYhtY&feature=related



What a resonance that would have - a guitar made out of a black hole and strung with the rings of Saturn... though the black hole would suck in any vibrations made by those celestial strings wouldn't it?

Perhaps these guys could shed some light on music of the cosmos...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc6ReHtCTqk&feature=related



I'm sorry, I've just been on the Legalise Cannabis thread.

Anyway I have had to give it up. I used to do it until the small hours perched on my computer chair and gazing intently at the screen. I could only do it when the rest of the family was abed due the frequent jerking and cursing, and I had to give it up because my wrist started swelling up with the effort, causing weakness and pain. Yes - I've given up Quake Online. My keyboard hand - left - was under great strain with the left right/ forward /back movement. I now have more time.

I'm glad you gave it up Paul. After all it is known as the gateway dr..., hold on, Quake Online?

Anyhow, I'm still proud of you. Stay strong...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHyDp0dGdyc


.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

bump

I couldn't bear the thought of us falling off the front page.

How bout some Nash to keep the barstools warm...

"The Purist "
by Ogden Nash

"I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
'You mean,' he said, 'a crocodile.' "

[soundofmusic]

I was watching a little clip from a Brian May interview, he said he made his guitar and used one of his moms knitting needles...Oh well, on the side somewhere...:crazy:

[prendrelemick]

It was on the end of the tremelo handle thing that was made out of a bit of moterbike engine, a saddle bag and a carving knife.

Brian's homemade guitar is not a thing of beauty - nor does it have a pure sound, but it is distinctive and he knows how to use its sound to great effect.

[Paulclem]

Seasick Steve also makes his own guitars.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-vSZFEWHlo&feature=related

Great tunes too.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...


...


Seasick Steve

Thank God, it was getting lonely around here and a special welcome back to Sounds.

Happy Valentines Soundofmusic...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8fykuW4IHk&feature=related


Paul,

I had run across Seasick Steve awhile back.
Not bad considering the make up of the guitars(?)

[Paulclem]

My wife bought his album after seeing him on the TV. He's very good.

Soooo it was back to work today, and those manliest of occupations - meetings. I've got meetings tomorrow too, though I will be getting down and dirty with the learners when I cover a class in the afternoon. It's good fun covering other people's classes - you get to use your best stuff, and then leave after a couple of hours.

Finlly got the computer fixed up on Saturday. it's now back to it's factory standard, and is working a treat, though it is 3 years old. It's funny: I was talking to an IT bloke the other day, and he told me to clear off my PC every now and then, and it should run fine. So, one virus later, that's what I've done - or paid to be done. (The recovery disks didn't work).

[Jerrybaldy]

Bummmp. thats the sound of me landing here. two years of personal poetry. I need a beer. I know of seasick steve in fact music even at 47 fills much of my time. I have never been stuck in the past, silly thing to do but done by so many. I listen to new music every day. I am a beer fan (no lager ta), I fail on sport, have no interest, better get that out the way. two mariages two lost houses about to rent for life. No complaints, I am the twat who brought it on myself. HELLO :)

[Paulclem]

Sounds like you've come to the right place Jerry. I saw your picture on the picture thread the other week. You were in a bar I believe. You should be at home here, as there are drinks whenever one needs the club.

My wife discovered seasick Steve last year, and bought his album. Great stuff. I like his homemade guitars.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Bummmp. thats the sound of me landing here. two years of personal poetry. I need a beer. I know of seasick steve in fact music even at 47 fills much of my time. I have never been stuck in the past, silly thing to do but done by so many. I listen to new music every day. I am a beer fan (no lager ta), I fail on sport, have no interest, better get that out the way. two mariages two lost houses about to rent for life. No complaints, I am the twat who brought it on myself. HELLO :)

Welcome Jerrybaldy.
Nice to have a new face in here. Parker will fix you up with that beer.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxfgkDzL5Po

.

[prendrelemick]

You could do worse than trying some of thishttp://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/untitled-1.jpg

[prendrelemick]

That there Coronal Mass Ejection was a bit of a damp squib. All electrical systems seem to be ok,- although the toaster slightly overdid my toast this morning.

[Paulclem]

That there Coronal Mass Ejection was a bit of a damp squib. All electrical systems seem to be ok,- although the toaster slightly overdid my toast this morning.

I heard about it yesterday morning from a colleague, wondered about it for a bit, and then forgot about the whole thing until just now. I'm not sure it happened at all as it hasn't been on the all-seeing BBC.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

“In islands like Guernsey, the population is composed of men who have passed their lives circling their field, and of men who have passed their lives circling the world. They constitute two sorts of laborers, the tillers of the soil and the toilers of the sea.” Victor Hugo – Toilers of the Sea

Gentlemen I must take leave of this bar; my second home, for a fortnight on the open sea.

The tiller’s rigged,
gunwales are polished
jibs are full
and her stern is firm.

Visions of the Mariner’s Albatross along with Barbara Eden, a result of the recent solar smack down, will accompany me on my journey across the Gulf.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nABM14m7s7k&feature=related

(At least hold on long enough to see her moves from 1:06 to 1:23)

Parker, thanks for the farewell Turkey shot, I’ll have the ship’s hold laden with rum upon my return.

I believe you chaps refer to it as a holiday.

[Paulclem]

“In islands like Guernsey, the population is composed of men who have passed their lives circling their field, and of men who have passed their lives circling the world. They constitute two sorts of laborers, the tillers of the soil and the toilers of the sea.” Victor Hugo – Toilers of the Sea

Gentlemen I must take leave of this bar; my second home, for a fortnight on the open sea.

The tiller’s rigged,
gunwales are polished
jibs are full
and her stern is firm.

Visions of the Mariner’s Albatross along with Barbara Eden, a result of the recent solar smack down, will accompany me on my journey across the Gulf.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nABM14m7s7k&feature=related

(At least hold on long enough to see her moves from 1:06 to 1:23)

Parker, thanks for the farewell Turkey shot, I’ll have the ship’s hold laden with rum upon my return.

I believe you chaps refer to it as a holiday.

Fair sailing Gilliatt.

[prendrelemick]

Is your wife going? did jamaica?

(a very old joke) Happy sailings!

[Paulclem]

Well what a ding dong there was down the old allotment yesterday. There have been a spate of break - ins with doors to sheds vandalised. Apparently there was a party in one of the sheds with quavers being eaten, booze being drunk and probably - according to the lady on the committee - drugs being smoked. To top it all off, they then vomited into the middle of the shed and left. (It wasn't specified whether one or all the miscreants vomited. I suppose a comparative test vomit would establish the likely number of persons contributing to the pile).

So the Community Police Officers came to meet the plotholders yesterday, and were subjected to a barrage of complaints by one or two of the fifteen or so people present.

The site was declared a crime blackspot - by one irate plotholder, who suggested that it starts with vandalism and ends with plotholders being attacked with knives and axes. (I think he forgot that he probably has a shed full of long hard tools that would make a mere knife wielder think).

In effect the whole of civilised society was seen as going to pot, and that we should form an Allotment Watch of men patrolling the area at night. (I suggested we call it an Allotment Militia).

Yes, blood pressures have been running high for a couple of days now. Even as I was cycling out and stopped to chat with a bloke near me, he declared that he woulod "Get the buggers with a brick hammer!" He then wandered off with his limp and stick and violent intentions.

The Annual Allotment Committee Meeting is going to be fun this year.

[MarkBastable]

Well what a ding dong there was down the old allotment yesterday. There have been a spate of break - ins with doors to sheds vandalised. Apparently there was a party in one of the sheds with quavers being eaten, booze being drunk and probably - according to the lady on the committee - drugs being smoked. To top it all off, they then vomited into the middle of the shed and left. (It wasn't specified whether one or all the miscreants vomited. I suppose a comparative test vomit would establish the likely number of persons contributing to the pile).

So the Community Police Officers came to meet the plotholders yesterday, and were subjected to a barrage of complaints by one or two of the fifteen or so people present.

The site was declared a crime blackspot - by one irate plotholder, who suggested that it starts with vandalism and ends with plotholders being attacked with knives and axes. (I think he forgot that he probably has a shed full of long hard tools that would make a mere knife wielder think).

In effect the whole of civilised society was seen as going to pot, and that we should form an Allotment Watch of men patrolling the area at night. (I suggested we call it an Allotment Militia).

Yes, blood pressures have been running high for a couple of days now. Even as I was cycling out and stopped to chat with a bloke near me, he declared that he woulod "Get the buggers with a brick hammer!" He then wandered off with his limp and stick and violent intentions.

The Annual Allotment Committee Meeting is going to be fun this year.

Your life is an Alan Bennett BAFTA nomination waiting to happen, isn't it?

[Paulclem]

I thought the whole allotment thing would be a tedious affair, and had confined myself to the growing, and it is tedious, on the whole. But you get these amusing gems pop up every now and then. I don't want to be on the committee, just sniggering on the periphery.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Fair sailing Gilliatt.


Is your wife going? did jamaica?

(a very old joke) Happy sailings!


I thought the whole allotment thing would be a tedious affair, and had confined myself to the growing, and it is tedious, on the whole. But you get these amusing gems pop up every now and then. I don't want to be on the committee, just sniggering on the periphery.

Thanks for the send off well wishes. The Albatross yielded to Seagulls and Pelicans and the visions of big hair and Barabara Eden immediately vanished upon the sight of 21st century bikini clad deck hands milling about. The Rum cache had been devoured so I ended up with a bottle Vodka and a bottle of Spanish wine, both of which ended up in the hands of my neighbor for his role in collecting mail and taking care of the dog.

Paul I hope you continue to persue the allotment affair, I/we look forward to each installment of the Allotment Tales.


Are you blokes sitting down?....


http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/IMGP2445.jpg




Gilliatt in front of Ernest Hemingway's home in Key West

[prendrelemick]

I'm liking the shorts there Gilliat.

Paul: Any man who eats Quavers in another man's shed is beyond the pale.

Sorry, I'm now having visions of the crew of the Black Pearl clad in 21st century bikinis.


Leans back in chair clutching single malt in a heavy glass, light from roaring fire flickering on oak beamed ceiling, wind and rain hammering on window.


Reminds me of the time my neighbour, Fred, thought his diesel was being pinched. A tidy man, Fred, never seen without a brush or shovel in his hand. He'd noticed a few drips of diesel on the floor by his tank. He had never split a drop of the stuff -ever- so theft was suspected.

Let me explain how tidy fred is. A few years ago he bought 5 gallons of green paint, to do his barn doors and guttering. To his dismay he only used half of it, meaning he was left with a half full plastic container of paint - or clutter - as he saw it. His solution was to bury it for a year or two, until the the doors were due another coat, when he dug it up and finished it off. Another time he was caught trimming his stack of hay bales with a pair of sheep shears, because he thought it looked a bit untidy.

One night the thief returned. He brought a ladder and climbed up to the "burden hole" - that is a door high up on the barn wall that was for forking
hay through in the old days. He pulled his ladder through and let it down on the inside, he carried two 5 gallon drums and a lengh of hose down the ladder and approached the tank.

At such times I suppose one's senses are heightened, because to Kevin (a local nere-do-well) the sound of a 12 bore closing somewhere in the deep shadows of the barn sounded like a knell of doom. The lights came on and there was Fred with manic grin and gleaming eye, and a shot gun definitely but nonchalantly pointing at Kevin's midriff. Fred said afterwards that he didn't know why Kevin had brought a ladder because he hardly seemed to use it as he left.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...Leans back in chair clutching single malt in a heavy glass, light from roaring fire flickering on oak beamed ceiling, wind and rain hammering on window.


...my neighbour, Fred,
..being pinched.
...the "burden hole"...
...12 bore...


Great story and I especially like the scene you painted with the "flickering fire...rain hammering..."

Is "Fred" a common name for neighbors over there?
I was recalling Paul's allotment neighbor.

"Being pinched", "Burden hole" and "12 bore"

Sounds like names to...never mind.
Perhaps it's best not to pull them out of context.

.

[Paulclem]

Glad you had a good trip Gilliatt - great photo, and the shorts are of a very worthy standard for the club ie. a deterrent.

An evocative image you've painted there Mick. ....buried his paint... hilarious.

I know two local Freds. One lives opposite. He's the one whose Dad - old Fred - had the two spaniels we were charged to look after - one of which died. He's a recluse who likes musical theatre, and who, a few years ago due to his washer not being plumbed in, used to buy new clothes every week or so. I don't know whether he's had it done since.

The other Fred is my allotment neighbour Fred. He's a nice carribean guy who drinks his beer in Rose Cottage.

[Sancho]

Great story, Mick.

I feel like I know Fred.

I knew a Fred in the army. He was a sergeant of the field artillery and he had somewhat of a contrary personality. So everybody called him "Derf" (Fred spelled backwards). There was never a dull moment around Derf.

[Paulclem]

I was out with the dog last night lurking on the green. I came to the bridge over our local brook and waited for the bloke with the small dog on the other side of the bridge- probably an irascible Jack Russel like mine, to put on its lead. Once done I crossed over and hailed the bloke with a cheery evenin'. He didn't respond, and so, in thanks for securing his dog I said it again.

He gave a reluctant alright and proceeded to mutter something that ended up with f**k o**. Perhaps he was peed off about something, but immediately my hackles rose and from my Yorkshire roots an "Eh!" (hard short vowel sound),sounded acrooss the green.

He responded with a weak sounding alright and disappeared off into the gloom, leaving me wondering where this "Eh!" had come from.

It was an indicator of my roots of course. Thinking back, it was the kind of aggressive exclamation you made when someone annoyed you - as this chap had. I've come out with it before if I've had a comment from someone I didn't like and who I felt needed an aggressive response. it's not something I'd use at work - there the professional negotiator is in charge, but out in the streets with people I don't know, there is this more basic, aggressive persona that can manifest should the need arise.

I mulled over the nature of the "Eh!" It is a question - despite me putting the exclamation mark there, which is more implied than stated. It's an agressive sound, and with the hard e it is effective in conveying that intent. It demands a response, but seems - or feels - uncompromising. It would never come out in polite conversation anywhere, but just seems ready primed for the right moment. I wonder if it's triggered by a situation or particular feeling?

[prendrelemick]

It's like that time Robin Hood and Little John met on a narrow bridge and they fought with staves.
As to that "Eh!" You can shake off your leaves, but never your roots.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I came to the bridge over our local brook and waited for the bloke with the small dog on the other side of the bridge-

...I mulled over the nature of the "Eh!" It is a question - despite me putting the exclamation mark there, which is more implied than stated. It's an agressive sound, and with the hard e it is effective in conveying that intent. It demands a response, but seems - or feels - uncompromising. It would never come out in polite conversation anywhere, but just seems ready primed for the right moment. I wonder if it's triggered by a situation or particular feeling?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doeJSspVL5Y&feature=related


Perhaps you should look further into the EH tymology of the "Eh!"


I just posted the following in the 3rd sentence 21st page thread and thought it had some relevance here:

"It is one thing to make use of the language and sentiments which are common to ourselves and our forefathers, and it is another to invest them with the sentiments and dialect exclusively proper to their dialects"

(My son left his copy of Scott's Ivanhoe beside my left hand.)

Speaking of Scott, I wonder how ole Jocky is doing?

.

[Paulclem]

It's been a while since he posted. It'd be good to hear how old turncoat is doing.

I got lucky down the allotment today. I stepped on a nail which went right through my boot and up between my toes. Lucky lucky.

Thus I was able to get in afew rows of Broad beans. My first early potatoes are in, and my second earlies are chitting in the shed. More broad beans will be going in on the morrow.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

A scarf, a cup of coffee and Monty Python, it's enough to make a grown man weep.
I too fell victim to the aroma, but Parker's cousneling brought me back and I'm a stronger bloke for it.


Paul, did you make it back out to the allotments?

[Paulclem]

I was there today. I put more broad beans in and a few small rows of peas under cloches in case of frost. There's still loads to do, but I've got a better start this year. Mrs Paulclem has started off quite a lot of stuff. She wasn't well last year and so we didn't get going for ages.

As for the perfumed scarf, I've been in there too. They are talking about Monty Python which is a legit Blokes topic, so I didn't mind.

[Big Dante]

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/IMGP2445.jpg

I hope he didn't leave his front door open like that during the war...

[Paulclem]

I have been posting on the ladies thread again. I've hit them with the shed. Do you think it'll take off as a topic?

Had to walk in to work today - bad valves on my inner tubes. Not sure whether it's my pump or the rubbish tubes I buy from Halfords. I was sorely dischuffed today. I grumbled about what i was going to say to the person who served me the substandard tubes in Halfords and found myself formulating complex reasons why he was going to give me a refund and not just exchange them. After that though, it was a nice walk in. Sunny.

The mind is a rumbling landscape of virtue and non.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I hope he didn't leave his front door open like that during the war...

Welcome back Big Dante.
I had to do a double take, did I leave my barn door open ?
whew...looks like I was secure that day.


A few more shots around Hemingway's home:

(click on thumbnails)


http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/th_IMGP2457.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/?action=view&current=IMGP2457.jpg)

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/th_IMGP2455.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/?action=view&current=IMGP2455.jpg)

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/th_IMGP2453.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/?action=view&current=IMGP2453.jpg)

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/th_IMGP2459.jpg (http://s963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/Vacation%20March%202012/?action=view&current=IMGP2459.jpg)



I have been posting on the ladies thread again. I've hit them with the shed. Do you think it'll take off as a topic?...



Yes, I noticed that with some dissapointment. Allotments and associated sheds are considered sacred ground, reserved only for blokes.


.

[prendrelemick]

I see Hemingway wasn't the impoverished artist scratching away on his manuscript by the light of a candle in a freezing garrett.

In these last few days I've noticed I'm only wanted - on the phone or to catch a spider or to do something that needs doing immediately - when I'm laid on the ground with my hand up a sheep. It's uncanny how often that happens.

[Paulclem]

Apparently the long range forecast my wife told me about has mentioned snow over Easter. Now we'll have to put up with all the, "That'll be the end of summer then," comments that weather reversals invariably generate. I want it to rain so my peas and broad beans come up.

I met a bloke who talked like Fred Elliot off Coronation St yesterday. Fred Elliot is famous for repeating what he says ah say repeating what he says. (See the link at around 20 seconds).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_kLzZi4scU&feature=related

This bloke was waiting for the bus and we strck up conversation about the weather. I was a little surprised when he said things like

"It's been hot, ah say it's been hot" and

"The bus is coming, ah say the bus is coming".

It's like a self echolalia. Just tell me if I ever start anything like that ah say anything like that.

[Paulclem]

Apparently the long range forecast my wife told me about has mentioned snow over Easter. Now we'll have to put up with all the, "That'll be the end of summer then," comments that weather reversals invariably generate. I want it to rain so my peas and broad beans come up.

I met a bloke who talked like Fred Elliot off Coronation St yesterday. Fred Elliot is famous for repeating what he says ah say repeating what he says. (See the link at around 20 seconds).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_kLzZi4scU&feature=related

This bloke was waiting for the bus and we strck up conversation about the weather. I was a little surprised when he said things like

"It's been hot, ah say it's been hot" and

"The bus is coming, ah say the bus is coming".

It's like a self echolalia. Just tell me if I ever start anything like that ah say anything like that.

Well I've just learnt that what he's expressing is palilalia - repeating his own words. I've just increased my own language register, but realise that it's 9.35 on a Friday night and I'm looking up obscure names for human behaviour. I wonder if there's a word for reluctant reclusiveness...

[Scheherazade]

A few more shots around Hemingway's home:
.Where is the booze cabinet?

Or maybe they never lasted long enough to require a cabinet...

[MarkBastable]

Where is the booze cabinet?

Or maybe they never lasted long enough to require a cabinet...

Someone bought me a stopper that can go back in an opened wine bottle to keep the wine fresh overnight. I can't imagine what one is supposed to do with such a thing.

[prendrelemick]

Stuff like that go in "the drawer"

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...In these last few days I've noticed I'm only wanted - on the phone or to catch a spider or to do something that needs doing immediately - when I'm laid on the ground with my hand up a sheep. It's uncanny how often that happens.
Ha yes, or just as you've settled your weary bones down by the fire with a book following a days worth of surfing the remote.


I met a bloke who talked like Fred Elliot off Coronation St yesterday. Fred Elliot is famous for repeating what he says ah say repeating what he says. (See the link at around 20 seconds).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_kLzZi4scU&feature=related



There's that name again; "Fred"!
The look on his face at about 1:16 is priceless.

Oh..and I see you're back from across the street.
Sancho is still over there with his ball.


Where is the booze cabinet?

Or maybe they never lasted long enough to require a cabinet...

Now they're coming over here


Someone bought me a stopper that can go back in an opened wine bottle to keep the wine fresh overnight. I can't imagine what one is supposed to do with such a thing.

"Yesterday's Wine" doesn't apply here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YG1qrT4gxI



Stuff like that go in "the drawer"

Ahh, the kitchen "junk drawer" another blokey topic.

btw - I made an effort to get out a few nights ago to see your planets and crescent moon.
(that didn't come out right) anyhow, it was an amazing sight.

.

[Paulclem]

We have "the drawer" in the kitchen. It's not my drawer, and is a real pain because whatever goes in there seems to b e lost forever unless my wife wants it.

Those imortal words: "It's in the drawer" makes me cringe as it means getting out an inordinate amount of stuff just to find that it's not there. I even have to morph my arm into a dog leg shape in order to feel down the back. I have a theory that stuff that is actually useful goes into a wormhole that inhabits "the drawer", which in itself distorts spacial reality so that all the stuff can be put in.

[prendrelemick]

Oh ho, Paul - if only it was so simple.

Its all to do with lay lines, ethnic pathways, higher levels of consciousness and Quantum Entanglement. The ancients of the Far East tried to explain the phenomina through the theory of Feng shui. The Aboriginal Austrailians had their dreamtime, but it is all to do with the effect of consciousness upon the physical.

If you go to the drawer often enough, it is entirely possbile Mark's wine stopper will be in there (without ever leaving Mark's drawer, as it does not need to be in one place, but is everywhere along it's probability curve simultaneously ). Your wife is unknowingly manipulating the space time continuum (Women can do this easily) and the thing she is looking for pops into existance (or passes into our perception of existance) under her hand, when you know it was not there in that place before, as you have been rumageing about looking for it for the last half an hour. Your male logic works against you here, you Know its not there and so it isn't.

At least these "The drawer" portals are fixed and regular but there is some overspill of the affect. Socks are particularly and universally susceptible. Local to our house, the horseradish sauce pops in and out of existance from the fridge all the time.

[Paulclem]

Oh ho, Paul - if only it was so simple.

Its all to do with lay lines, ethnic pathways, higher levels of consciousness and Quantum Entanglement. The ancients of the Far East tried to explain the phenomina through the theory of Feng shui. The Aboriginal Austrailians had their dreamtime, but it is all to do with the effect of consciousness upon the physical.

If you go to the drawer often enough, it is entirely possbile Mark's wine stopper will be in there (without ever leaving Mark's drawer, as it does not need to be in one place, but is everywhere along it's probability curve simultaneously ). Your wife is unknowingly manipulating the space time continuum (Women can do this easily) and the thing she is looking for pops into existance (or passes into our perception of existance) under her hand, when you know it was not there in that place before, as you have been rumageing about looking for it for the last half an hour. Your male logic works against you here, you Know its not there and so it isn't.

At least these "The drawer" portals are fixed and regular but there is some overspill of the affect. Socks are particularly and universally susceptible. Local to our house, the horseradish sauce pops in and out of existance from the fridge all the time.

:lol:

Yes you're right. I bet my wife could delve into the drawer and come out with a purring cat. I'd come up with a dead one no doubt.

[Paulclem]

I've had a good idea today for monitoring waistline expansion. Let me just define a term or two:

inny - a bellybutton that goes in
outy - a bellybutton that buges out

So today i noticed that my outy belly button - which had been transformed into an inny due to some expansion of my waistline, is now showing signs of becoming an outy again.

I thus formulated the idea of the

inny to outy waistline monitoring idea.

Basically if your outy becomes and inny, then you're getting bigger. if your outy, which has been manifesting as an inny changes to an outy, then you are losing weight. Clear?

For all those innys I recommend a small stick with notches on to check the depth.

Inspired.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

We have "the drawer" in the kitchen...


Oh ho, Paul - if only it was so simple.

Its all to do with lay lines, ethnic pathways, higher levels of consciousness and Quantum Entanglement. The ancients of the Far East tried to explain the phenomina through the theory of Feng shui. The Aboriginal Austrailians had their dreamtime, but it is all to do with the effect of consciousness upon the physical.

At least these "The drawer" portals are fixed and regular but there is some overspill of the affect. Socks are particularly and universally susceptible. Local to our house, the horseradish sauce pops in and out of existance from the fridge all the time.

I just completed a brief inventory of “the drawer” and prepared a list:
5 corks
4 pocket knives
45 cal. Casing
A pair of pliers
5 die (dice)
2 Screwdrivers
A small bag of cat nip
A zipper bag containing batteries
A pair of scissors
Approximately 20 pens and pencils
2 expired drivers licenses
A compass
Book of matches from “Crab House at Pier 39 San Francisco
3 rolls of tape
3 pin on buttons (One is Bob Dylan “The Times They are a Changin”, another is “Smokey the Bear” and the third indicates: “Well behaved women rarely make history”)
A St. Christopher medal offering protection to those who enter the drawer nether world.
And a can of Tibet Almond Stick for blending out scratches in stain/ varnish.

The above list comprises about 30% of what’s in the drawer.


I've had a good idea today for monitoring waistline expansion. Let me just define a term or two:
....
For all those innys I recommend a small stick with notches on to check the depth.

Inspired.

hehe. I haven't considered that method though it sounds like a good one.
Another method is the ratio of hem line to waist line. The object is to keep the hemline number larger than the waistline. My newly acquired spare tire caused me to break the tie.

[prendrelemick]

GG: What! No string??? So much for Universal String Theory.

Futher to Pauls belly button theory:- If you can't see it, you really need to lose weight.

[MarkBastable]

We have "the drawer" in the kitchen.

Our "drawer in the kitchen" is a room in the East Wing. Back in the old days it used to be the scene of jolly birthday bashes and impromptu games of cricket, but now my wife uses it to store items that she has bought at boot fairs with a view to, er, selling them at boot fairs. Her stock control policy is a bit like a one-way valve, and now it's not actually possible to get the door open, so we may have to have a new door put in, leading from the knot garden, in order to get the stuff out.

[Paulclem]

Our "drawer in the kitchen" is a room in the East Wing. Back in the old days it used to be the scene of jolly birthday bashes and impromptu games of cricket, but now my wife uses it to store items that she has bought at boot fairs with a view to, er, selling them at boot fairs. Her stock control policy is a bit like a one-way valve, and now it's not actually possible to get the door open, so we may have to have a new door put in, leading from the knot garden, in order to get the stuff out.

You have a walk in "drawer"?

Given the physics of these things, it could be quite dangerous/ exciting.

[Sancho]

I keeping with Gill’s literary travels post, here’s Pablo Neruda’s house in Santiago:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/n5.jpg

I have no idea who those people are, but it was a warm day on Sunday so lots of folks were out and about – but nobody had shorts as fancy as Gill’s.

Anyhow, this restaurant is a few blocks away and is named for the poet:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/Nerudiano.jpg

Good food, friendly staff, and Live jazz downstairs - Jiggy, baby.

On another note, is life even possible without a junk drawer?

[prendrelemick]

Life would be harder than a hammer's dream - as Neruda may have once said.


I don't even want to approach our drawer, never mind listing the contents (which would be alot less classy than GG's stuff.)

[Paulclem]

Life would be harder than a hammer's dream - as Neruda may have once said.


I don't even want to approach our drawer, never mind listing the contents (which would be alot less classy than GG's stuff.)

I decided to venture into the "drawer". Here's a small amount of it's contents - I didn't delve too much.

1 rolling pin
1 bag of raffia
1 top from a thermos cup
Innumerable plastic money bags (empty)
1 big pair of scissors
1 pack of paintbrushes (1 missing)
innumerble packs of cellophane wrapped tissues
1 tape measure (that won't be there the next time I need it)
1 hair dryer
A pedicure set - open (whatever that is)
cellotape
1 xmas tree pastry cutter
1 spool of garden wire (I won't find that again either)
1 single green jelly mould
1 roll of wide brown tape for parcels
Half of a Bosch instruction manual (I don't know what for - the German bit is left)
several wooden pegs
1 tupperware lid
1 handheld fan

I hardly peeped below the surface. I know there were binoculars in there last week.

[kiki1982]

:lol: I decided to pop into the blokes' thread because they all popped into the girls' thread and what do I find? They are discussing the man drawer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4xxqVzlSeE) (go to 1:30). :lol:

oo, what is in our man drawer?

passports
Oyster cards (for when we go to london)
at least three old mobile phones
several cables
one old silver cigarette box
anti-stomach acid fluid
1 UK Nokia phone charger
1 China card set
1 naked ladies card set
oh, a set of international plug adapters
several unidentified objects
1 match box with one match in it
1 old discman
1 set of headphones for my old Sony Ericsson mobile
1 red bike light (still works)
1 old square battery
1 old wallet (full)
passport photos
spare keys to our present lock
1 empty bag


It's only a small drawer...

And now the girl will vanish into the girls' thread again :D

[Paulclem]

:lol: I decided to pop into the blokes' thread because they all popped into the girls' thread and what do I find? They are discussing the man drawer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4xxqVzlSeE) (go to 1:30). :lol:

oo, what is in our man drawer?

passports
Oyster cards (for when we go to london)
at least three old mobile phones
several cables
one old silver cigarette box
anti-stomach acid fluid
1 UK Nokia phone charger
1 China card set
1 naked ladies card set
oh, a set of international plug adapters
several unidentified objects
1 match box with one match in it
1 old discman
1 set of headphones for my old Sony Ericsson mobile
1 red bike light (still works)
1 old square battery
1 old wallet (full)
passport photos
spare keys to our present lock
1 empty bag


It's only a small drawer...

And now the girl will vanish into the girls' thread again :D

I've suggested a new Superhero - Drawer Man!!

Might be confusing given the number of outside trouser pant wearers there are in the superhero fraternity.

[Sancho]

Drawer Man, played by Slim Pickens:

Junk drawer contents check, in it you will find:

~ 1 forty-five caliber automatic
~ 2 boxes of ammunition
~ 4 days concentrated emergency rations
~ 1 drug issue containing: antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
~ 1 miniature combination Roossian phrase book and bible
~ One hundred dollars in Rubles
~ One hundred dollars in gold
~ 9 packs of chewing gum
~ 1 issue of prophylactics
~ 3 lipsticks
~ 3 pair of nylon stockings

Shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

Major Kong from Dr. Strangelove:

http://youtu.be/F5qqfsQGYus

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I don't even want to approach our drawer, never mind listing the contents (which would be alot less classy than GG's stuff.)

I'll loan you my St. Christpher before you head in, probably more appropriate for Mark's walk in.


I decided to venture into the "drawer". Here's a small amount of it's contents - I didn't delve too much.

1 rolling pin
...
1 hair dryer
...
1 spool of garden wire (I won't find that again either)
...
Half of a Bosch instruction manual (I don't know what for - the German bit is left)
...

1 handheld fan


How big is that drawer ?! and why would you need a manual for a Bosch spark plug? Just check the spark gap and screw the damn thing in and attach the wire.




1 naked ladies card set



Don't let the door slam on your way out, but please leave the cards behind.


Drawer Man, played by Slim Pickens:

...

Major Kong from Dr. Strangelove:

http://youtu.be/F5qqfsQGYus

Brilliant. We found our hero.
Thanks for the Neruda photos btw.

[prendrelemick]

Sancho: I may have to disqualify your drawer as there are too many useful things in it and they are not random enough. It is a drawer you could tip into a hold-all and set off on an adventure.

Kiki: Having keys to your present lock in there is fairly impressive. There are about 20 keys in ours and I don't know what they are for.


I opened my drawer this morning, thinking of doing a list - then shut it again with that immortal phrase " I really must sort this lot out."


Is there a ubiqitous man drawer object? I really thought it would be string - but not so.

[MarkBastable]

Is there a ubiqitous man drawer object? I really thought it would be string - but not so.

A large square battery of undetermined vivacity.

[prendrelemick]

A large square battery of undetermined vivacity.


Present!


err.. not large though.

[Sancho]

Got one – vivacity unknown, but it tingles if I lick it.

I think if there’s one item common to all junk drawers, it’s that ubiquitous “chunk of unknown substance.” It could be animal, mineral, or vegetable. It might have hair. It might not. Possibly it moves of its own volition.

[MarkBastable]

The sine qua non of The Drawer


A large square battery of undetermined vivacity.

An almost-finished roll of gaffer tape (duct tape) that's so old that it's stuck to itself.

A pack of Rizlas with only two papers in it, and the cover torn off.

A novelty keyring that you can't remember ever using, but to which, for some forgotten reason, you're sentimentally attached.

A small plastic 1990 World Cup mascot figure.

One of those pencil erasers that's green and sort of gritty, and which has toothmarks on it.

A bank paying-in book.

A cardboard beermat.

Four of a set of five poker dice.

[prendrelemick]

Peered into mine, and saw;-

Batteries
keys
String (tangled)
Leads (tangled with string)
12 bore cartridges
Coins
Multi head screwdriver with magnetic probe
Metalic ephemera stuck to magnet
incomplete set of tiny screwdrivers
Instruction manuals going back to the 1990's.
Red rubber bands (from the postman)(also tangled with string)
packet of cable clips

Then I shut the draw.

[smerdyakov]

Peered into mine, and saw;-

Batteries
keys
String (tangled)
Leads (tangled with string)
12 bore cartridges
Coins
Multi head screwdriver with magnetic probe
Metalic ephemera stuck to magnet
incomplete set of tiny screwdrivers
Instruction manuals going back to the 1990's.
Red rubber bands (from the postman)(also tangled with string)
packet of cable clips

Then I shut the draw.

thought u were a man of letters prendlemick?

[kiki1982]

Kiki: Having keys to your present lock in there is fairly impressive. There are about 20 keys in ours and I don't know what they are for.

Oh, we do have other keys, most of which we can identify and an old lock (two actually, one from the 1920s with three keys), but those are in the utility drawer/cupboard so we know where they are when we need them. I'm still looking for a use for that 1920s lock... It used to be delivered with the house we bought from an old lady... Her father bought it back then 'in case the other one ever breaks'. :lol: Needless to say, the good lock was still there when we changed the door...


Don't let the door slam on your way out, but please leave the cards behind.

I will do :D.


A novelty keyring that you can't remember ever using, but to which, for some forgotten reason, you're sentimentally attached.

Yup, we have that one... It'll get used one day when there is a need for an extra keyring...

[Paulclem]

today I told Mrs Paulclem about our theories about "the drawer".

She rather poo-pooed them, and said instead that we blokes suffer from "drawer blindness". She claims it is a condition that manifests only in men and is a psychological condition brought about by "finder panic". What happens is - she said - is that men will open a drawer in the expectation of not being able to find the big sticky out thing that is there sticking out at them. They automatically go into panic mode and cause a self induced "drawer blindness".

I'm still bearing in mind the female propensity for the manipulation of the laws of physics as another likely explanation though.