Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[The Atheist]

Sounds beautiful, what are you doing, ice fishing?

Ice fishing?

That's 25 degrees above zero, not -25.


:D Pauclem, you realize I have terrible problems with another Englishman on this site, perhaps Midlands gentlemen are more approachable, somehow I doubt it. Now let me get this straight, you have not had a screw in your shed since last June because the inclination is gone and your ' allotment is too small ' My advice is this, keep your Missus well away from your neighbour. :)

:lol:

Garden sheds are what keeps men sane.


No where to keep your pigeons eh Jocky. So often the answers to one's problems are too close to see, and it takes an outsider to point out the obvious solution.

A Scotsman. A pigeon fancier. A Scottish pigeon fancier with a commodious kilt. The answer is staring you in the face, man. (Though what you use as a perch is your own buisness.)

I know it's sad but THIS is the 1999th Cold Ale thread post. next poster achieves immortality!

Actually, yours is the 2000th post. Mine is just the 2000th reply which is as it should be.

[soundofmusic]

Ice fishing?

That's 25 degrees above zero, not -25.

.

In sunny florida, where we never hit the beaches until it hits 90; and wear all matter of overcoats when barbequing on a night when temperatures fall to 69...25 either way sounds darned cold...Don't we keep our fridges somewhere around 30?

[prendrelemick]

You are using Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit's temperature scale, Sounds, while the rest of the world are followers of Anders Celsius.

I don't know exactly how to convert one to the other, but we were taught to recite this little ditty when we changed over :-

Winter, Spring and Summer sun.
Five , Fifteen and Twenty one.

[Paulclem]

:D Pauclem, you realize I have terrible problems with another Englishman on this site, perhaps Midlands gentlemen are more approachable, somehow I doubt it. Now let me get this straight, you have not had a screw in your shed since last June because the inclination is gone and your ' allotment is too small ' My advice is this, keep your Missus well away from your neighbour. :)

:D

Ey up. I may be an Englishman, but I am a Yokshireman first.

I had good growth in the allotment last year. I'll need to keep it up to make the most of the legumes this time.


Ice fishing?

That's 25 degrees above zero, not -25.



:lol:

Garden sheds are what keeps men sane.



Actually, yours is the 2000th post. Mine is just the 2000th reply which is as it should be.

Garden sheds in Oz? I thought you used gazebos.

[Emil Miller]

When flying I will have to raise my kilt and explain, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde, I have nothing to declare but my censored.

Yes, and give away the world's best kept secret.

[soundofmusic]

Ice fishing?

That's 25 degrees above zero, not -25.




You are using Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit's temperature scale, Sounds, while the rest of the world are followers of Anders Celsius.

I don't know exactly how to convert one to the other, but we were taught to recite this little ditty when we changed over :-

Winter, Spring and Summer sun.
Five , Fifteen and Twenty one.

:redface: God, I feel dumb...I looked it up. F = (9/5)c +32. I think I need a pair of draw string yellow poka dot shorts to put over my head about now:redface::confused:

[papayahed]

:redface: God, I feel dumb...I looked it up. F = (9/5)c +32. I think I need a pair of draw string yellow poka dot shorts to put over my head about now:redface::confused:

Never fear Sound, I do it all the time. You'll get used to it along with the whole money thing. It's kinda like Eastern time here in the US. One never has to think about it until leaving Eastern time and then it becomes an issue.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Sky rats.....sky rats......! I will have you know that my pigeons are bred from the nobility of Europe. ... Old Helmet has not uttered a word and has turned quite pale since reading your comment while perched on my shoulder...

I'm sorry for offending Helmet. Better not mention the attempted sky r...I mean pigeon shoots that were proposed here in the Republic a few years back.


... (Though what you use as a perch is your own buisness.)
[luaghing smilie]



Ice fishing?

That's 25 degrees above zero, not -25.


:redface: God, I feel dumb...I looked it up. F = (9/5)c +32. I think I need a pair of draw string yellow poka dot shorts to put over my head about now:redface::confused:

You think 25 is hot?... phaa... it was 30 deg here on Christmas eve and it snowed no less. You ought to the the glaciers we get when the mercury hits 105 in August!!

[soundofmusic]

Never fear Sound, I do it all the time. You'll get used to it along with the whole money thing. It's kinda like Eastern time here in the US. One never has to think about it until leaving Eastern time and then it becomes an issue.

Thank you, I feel better now :banana::banana: Oh yes, you're right about the money thing. When I visited England, I just handed everyone a large bill and hoped for the best...Oddly enough, like in Florida, I got change from everyone except the cab drivers:lol:




You think 25 is hot?... phaa... it was 30 deg here on Christmas eve and it snowed no less. You ought to the the glaciers we get when the mercury hits 105 in August!!

You poor man, hasn't anyone told you yet...you're dead...still flying somewhere between Peru and Texas (Half way to Hell):eek:

[gbrekken]

some benchmarks 0C=32F, 100C=212F, (freezing/boiling), -39C=-39F
Hence, 32F and 0C is the temp at which Hell (somewhere in Michigan) freezes over and the bats (skyrats?) out of hell are no longer edible without thorough cooking, and retire to Death Valley CA/NV where they're not mistaken for the more edible winged creatures, which shall remain anonymous in this sensitive and politcally correct forum. Elsewhere across the southern states, let's say between Gila Bend AZ and Nacogdoches TX, 100F is when the locals admit that it's warm, and in deference to keeping young'uns with big feet alive, turn on the swamp cooler (not to be confused with true air conditioning mind you). 0F (where I once wore my hat) is when you decide to close the door on your ice-fishing shed since the slight light being allowed in is causing a distracting glare on the TV, which makes it difficult to determine which curling team is winning, and since you do wish to retain enough heat to prevent the supply of barley-pop in the fridge from turning from glorious liquid to inglorious solid. 98.6F=living human body temp? It's not time to introduce Kelvin is it?

-45F with -90F wind chill was actually the coldest that ever touched my face. I don't miss it.

[prendrelemick]

I suppose Mr Fahrenhiet couldn't envisage ever needing to measure more than 32 degrees of frost. In the same way, Admiral Beaufort thought it was pointless to go beyond hurricane force 12 with his scale, why bother measuring beyond certain death?

[soundofmusic]

some benchmarks 0C=32F, 100C=212F, (freezing/boiling), -39C=-39F
Hence, 32F and 0C is the temp at which Hell (somewhere in Michigan) freezes over and the bats (skyrats?) out of hell are no longer edible without thorough cooking, and retire to Death Valley CA/NV where they're not mistaken for the more edible winged creatures, which shall remain anonymous in this sensitive and politcally correct forum. Elsewhere across the southern states, let's say between Gila Bend AZ and Nacogdoches TX, 100F is when the locals admit that it's warm, and in deference to keeping young'uns with big feet alive, turn on the swamp cooler (not to be confused with true air conditioning mind you). 0F (where I once wore my hat) is when you decide to close the door on your ice-fishing shed since the slight light being allowed in is causing a distracting glare on the TV, which makes it difficult to determine which curling team is winning, and since you do wish to retain enough heat to prevent the supply of barley-pop in the fridge from turning from glorious liquid to inglorious solid. 98.6F=living human body temp? It's not time to introduce Kelvin is it?

-45F with -90F wind chill was actually the coldest that ever touched my face. I don't miss it.


I suppose Mr Fahrenhiet couldn't envisage ever needing to measure more than 32 degrees of frost. In the same way, Admiral Beaufort thought it was pointless to go beyond hurricane force 12 with his scale, why bother measuring beyond certain death?

Well, gentlemen and ladies, I guess I'm in trouble if they ever take away my dual farenheit/celcius themometer...I judge life by movement; My freezer by firm ice cream and my fridge by crisp celery. A cold day is when my car has frost on the windows and my a/c starts crackling; a hot day is when my hibiscuses droop...

[prendrelemick]

Well, gentlemen and ladies, I guess I'm in trouble if they ever take away my dual farenheit/celcius themometer...I judge life by movement; My freezer by firm ice cream and my fridge by crisp celery. A cold day is when my car has frost on the windows and my a/c starts crackling; a hot day is when my hibiscuses droop...

Thats a good basis for a temp scale of your own right there.

Mine would be based on observations of how much the girls about town are
wearing.

[Whifflingpin]

Lurking in the depths of the sludge pool I call memory is the factoid that Herr Fahrenheit based his temperature scale on the freezing and boiling points of deer's blood.

??

[LostPrincess13]

HAPPY NEW YEAR Sirs! :D
It was a pleasure to meet you all here in LitNet! Thank you! :D Cheers!

Love lots,
Princess

[prendrelemick]

The man was obviously a genius!



And a happy new year to you, Dear Lady.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Happy New Year to all the Blokes and Blokesses.
My family is about to get the prairie schooner headed to east Texas to celebrate Christmas for the Gurgle side of the family, which typically consists of target shooting, feral hog hunting (if one happens to get in the way), and a bonfire with fireworks.
This year's bonfire might just include an inquisition trial of the Mozartgeist followed by a auto de fe.
Oh, and I will check with my sister to get an update on the Magnus Pedi activity in the region.

Happy trails to you until we meet again.
Gilliatt

[soundofmusic]

Thats a good basis for a temp scale of your own right there.

Mine would be based on observations of how much the girls about town are
wearing.

That is a far more attractive themometer; but I find that the young women in this area bare midriffs, wear sandals and sweaters at all times of the year...So I would have to look for prickling skin and perky attitudes:cold:


Lurking in the depths of the sludge pool I call memory is the factoid that Herr Fahrenheit based his temperature scale on the freezing and boiling points of deer's blood.

??

What an interesting concept...I wonder why deers blood? I guess his mother-in-law wasn't around:lol:


HAPPY NEW YEAR Sirs! :D
It was a pleasure to meet you all here in LitNet! Thank you! :D Cheers!

Love lots,
Princess
And the same to you, Miss Princess:banana::banana::angel:


Happy New Year to all the Blokes and Blokesses.
My family is about to get the prairie schooner headed to east Texas to celebrate Christmas for the Gurgle side of the family, which typically consists of target shooting, feral hog hunting (if one happens to get in the way), and a bonfire with fireworks.
This year's bonfire might just include an inquisition trial of the Mozartgeist followed by a auto de fe.
Oh, and I will check with my sister to get an update on the Magnus Pedi activity in the region.

Happy trails to you until we meet again.
Gilliatt

Sounds like a mans man holiday :nod:

[The Atheist]

Garden sheds in Oz? I thought you used gazebos.

Oz?

The only wizard here's in Christchurch, and that doesn't really count as part of New Zealand.


:redface: God, I feel dumb...I looked it up. F = (9/5)c +32. I think I need a pair of draw string yellow poka dot shorts to put over my head about now:redface::confused:

Nah, just dye your hair blonde.

[Paulclem]

Oz?

The only wizard here's in Christchurch, and that doesn't really count as part of New Zealand.



Nah, just dye your hair blonde.

Sorry - I must have presumed you were in Oz from another post. I get it all the time - people suggesting that I'm from Lancashire instead of Yorkshire. My mistake is a few miles more though.

[jocky]

Sorry - I must have presumed you were in Oz from another post. I get it all the time - people suggesting that I'm from Lancashire instead of Yorkshire. My mistake is a few miles more though.

I was going to warn you but I thought your fellow Yorkie would help you out, but he just let you walk right into it. I am now going back to my dram and bowl of salted legumes. There is no honour amongst Yorkshiremen. On Ilkley Moor Bar tat. :lol:

[Taliesin]

Concering the gazebos - aren't you afraid of them attacking you?
(nerdy inside joke, just move along)

[Paulclem]

I was going to warn you but I thought your fellow Yorkie would help you out, but he just let you walk right into it. I am now going back to my dram and bowl of salted legumes. there is no honour amongst Yorkshiremen. On Ilkley Moor Bar tat. :lol:

Did you know that there are still laws about Scotsmen entering the City of York that date back to the campaigns of William wallace? Or i wonder if it was from the Wembley pitch invasions...:lol:

[jocky]

Did you know that there are still laws about Scotsmen entering the City of York that date back to the campaigns of William wallace?

' for this relief, much thanks ' :)

[soundofmusic]

Nah, just dye your hair blonde.

No, I'd better go with the shorts; the blonde hair would just imply that I was sexy:banana:

Concering the gazebos - aren't you afraid of them attacking you?
(nerdy inside joke, just move along)

I like it...I don't entirely get it; but I like it:lol:

[prendrelemick]

Sorry - I must have presumed you were in Oz from another post. I get it all the time - people suggesting that I'm from Lancashire instead of Yorkshire. My mistake is a few miles more though.


It may be less in mileage, but there can be no wider gulf.

[jocky]

The wife has not spoken to me since Xmas day. I don't understand it, I gave her a state of the art set of teflon non stick pots and pans and the latest multi-purpose dyson hoover. :(

[soundofmusic]

The wife has not spoken to me since Xmas day. I don't understand it, I gave her a state of the art set of teflon non stick pots and pans and the latest multi-purpose dyson hoover. :(

Your gifts sound truly wonderful, Jocky. I think I'd go for broke, though, and "find" a small bit of jewelry on the floor that "must have fallen out of the teflon when she opened them:cool:

[prendrelemick]

The wife has not spoken to me since Xmas day. :(


There are many who'd count you blessed for that.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

The wife has not spoken to me...and the latest multi-purpose dyson hoover. :(

I guess we better not suggest she use Prendrelemick’s “Shake and Vac” powder with that Dyssen . huh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8CTscW3dpI


We made it back from Spain and I might add that the inquisition went quite well. They allowed photographs. The Mozartgeist didn’t have a chance. The inquisitor’s each held a “roman candle” and at the command of the grand inquisitor, a reign of fire balls (aided with a dousing of diesel fuel) completed the auto de fe.

Before

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/IMG_1361.jpg


No turning back now. (Note the fire ball coming in on the left side of the photo)

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/IMG_1365.jpg

The end of Mozartgeist!

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/IMG_1366.jpg


As is customary, following a burning at the stake, the next day is filled with the sound of gunfire. No feral hogs, but we managed to take down a few feral tin cans, a dozen “ten point” beer cans and a few paper targets.

[The Atheist]

I was going to warn you but I thought your fellow Yorkie would help you out, but he just let you walk right into it. I am now going back to my dram and bowl of salted legumes. There is no honour amongst Yorkshiremen. On Ilkley Moor Bar tat. :lol:

:lol:

Great swerve.


The wife has not spoken to me since Xmas day. I don't understand it, I gave her a state of the art set of teflon non stick pots and pans and the latest multi-purpose dyson hoover. :(

My old man used to buy mum a new appliance every Xmas.

He never did quite get rid of the lumps on his head.


As is customary, following a burning at the stake, the next day is filled with the sound of gunfire. No feral hogs, but we managed to take down a few feral tin cans, a dozen “ten point” beer cans and a few paper targets.

Outstanding stuff!

[Molpadia]

I know this is obnoxiously picky, but considering the brewing process which goes into beer, this thread should technically be named Cold Lager, or otherwise be Warm Ale.

I just felt compelled to point that miniscule, unimportant detail out : )

[prendrelemick]

I have to disagree Molpadia (although not about you being picky.) Although Ale is brewed warm, it is its condition when drunk that counts.

we're going back to temperature scales here, Parker measures his Ale by the number of swallows you can take before the pain across the forehead becomes unbareable. Any more than three is unacceptable.

[gbrekken]

I almost feel as though I've been reading Minnesota/Iowa/Wisconsin or Texas/Oklahoma jokes. I've never been to Oz in an awakened state, or sober for that matter. I am reminded of the fact that one day I will be able to afford to travel to the annual Burning Man Festival on the playa of the Black Rock desert near Gerlach,NV. I may also be tempted to go there for the next attempt at the land speed record.

[Molpadia]

I have to disagree Molpadia (although not about you being picky.) Although Ale is brewed warm, it is its condition when drunk that counts.

we're going back to temperature scales here, Parker measures his Ale by the number of swallows you can take before the pain across the forehead becomes unbareable. Any more than three is unacceptable.

You make a solid point. I suppose that this thread was referring to drinking, not brewing : )

I do, however, prefer my dark brews warm.

EDIT: Speaking of which; I know that I'm a wee bit late in the game and that this has more than likely been discussed to death, but what do you lot like to drink? Which brew is your poison?

[jocky]

Which brew is your poison?

Hot cocoa and a copy of Sense and Sensebility before my bed at 9 PM sharp. Failing that, Glen Morangie, Glenlivet, Glen Grant, Glen Close, Glen Campbell...... anything starting with Glen diluted bye a teaspoon of water, but never ice. Welcome to hell. :)

[jocky]

Atheist did you watch the cricket? A certain team in South Africa are not playing with a straight bat. Some might say that gouging the ball with your fingernails and tramping it into the ground with spiky shoes is a mite questionable. Not Me ! We have long experience of the English sense of fair play. Clearly the match is being played under umpire, sorry I mean empire rules. Come on you greens. :)

[jocky]

Has there been a nuclear war which killed everybody from the cold ale thread ? Or has Jocky done something terribly wrong, again ? Send your answers on a postcard, addressed to Sweeney Among The Nightingales. :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Has there been a nuclear war which killed everybody from the cold ale thread ? Or has Jocky done something terribly wrong, again ?

Relax Jocky, I am back from a business trip. On the way home I passed by that coffee shop at the corner of Kentucky and Bourbon. The door swung open and I couldn't help but overhear some of the chattering going on in there. Would you believe they're back to talking about vacuumes again! I bet those gals would appreciate that Dyson.



... I know that I'm a wee bit late in the game and that this has more than likely been discussed to death, but what do you lot like to drink? Which brew is your poison?

Welcome Molpadia,

Other than water, I thoroughly enjoy Wild Turkey 101, Spaten Optimator, Lone Star, Guinness Stout.

[jocky]

Relax Jocky, I am back from a business trip. On the way home I passed by that coffee shop at the corner of Kentucky and Bourbon. The door swung open and I couldn't help but overhear some of the chattering going on in there. Would you believe they're back to talking about vacuumes again! I bet those gals would appreciate that Dyson.



.

How can I relax Gilliat ? When certain Texans, who shall remain nameless, are travelling the globe selling deadly Lightening fighters to an unsuspecting public. This is not being personal, but how can you trust someone who is a Spike Jones fan, knows the shake and vac advert and has shaken hands with bigfoot? Something has got to give! You are working too hard Gilly. You dont want to end up like Willy Lomond. I bet you could sell sand to the Arabs. :)

[prendrelemick]

Atheist did you watch the cricket? A certain team in South Africa are not playing with a straight bat. Some might say that gouging the ball with your fingernails and tramping it into the ground with spiky shoes is a mite questionable. Not Me ! We have long experience of the English sense of fair play. Clearly the match is being played under umpire, sorry I mean empire rules. Come on you greens. :)


Disgraceful display! You'd think after trampling and gouging the ball they'd manage to get a few wickets.

[prendrelemick]

OK I can breath now,

I bet Graeme Smith never want to see another Onion as long as he lives

[gbrekken]

EDIT: Speaking of which; I know that I'm a wee bit late in the game and that this has more than likely been discussed to death, but what do you lot like to drink? Which brew is your poison?[/QUOTE]

No such thing as discussing to death our favorite liquids. My personal favorite is the one in hand. Being under a beer budget with a taste for the one of Scotland's best inventions/creations/concoctions, I drink what I can afford, or whatever someone else/wherever it happens, provides.

We don't always limit discussions to liquids. A while back some architecture/atmospheres (even some females provide welcome input/output)/magnetic things came into play.

Welcome aboard/abroad. Pogonip this morning-hoarfrost is pretty!!

P>S> I'm more into curling than cricket, especially since s0-called winter olympics are on the horizen :)

[jocky]

OK I can breath now,

I bet Graeme Smith never want to see another Onion as long as he lives

You couldn't make it up could you ? England saved by Onions and a Swan. I can honestly say that brought a tear to my eye. :)

[jocky]

Being under a beer budget with a taste for the one of Scotland's best inventions/creations/concoctions, I drink what I can afford, or whatever someone else/wherever it happens, provides.



Spoken like a true Scotsman, arise Macgbrekken. :)

[The Atheist]

Atheist did you watch the cricket? A certain team in South Africa are not playing with a straight bat. Some might say that gouging the ball with your fingernails and tramping it into the ground with spiky shoes is a mite questionable. Not Me ! We have long experience of the English sense of fair play. Clearly the match is being played under umpire, sorry I mean empire rules. Come on you greens. :)

I didn't watch it, but did keep up on the live play on the internet. Amazing result.



Has there been a nuclear war which killed everybody from the cold ale thread ? Or has Jocky done something terribly wrong, again ? Send your answers on a postcard, addressed to Sweeney Among The Nightingales. :)

:lol:

I've been too busy soaking up the sun.

Raining today for the first time in weeks.

Sod the farmers and their grass!


OK I can breath now,

I bet Graeme Smith never want to see another Onion as long as he lives

Haha! I'll bet beer consumption went up by about 1000% during the last few hours of that game!

[gbrekken]

I actually think Jocky is one of my brothers. I don't know where to put him amongst the eight older ones I had, but I assure you he is there somewhere. Let us all hope Atheist gets sun burned in the afternoon, and watches the southern lights after dark. I know where the northern magnetic pole has migrated to, but not the southern. Any help on the thread in that regard?

[soundofmusic]

I've been too busy soaking up the sun.



Enjoy yourself, and know that poor old sounds is freezing her buns off in sunny florida:cold:

[Molpadia]

No such thing as discussing to death our favorite liquids. My personal favorite is the one in hand. Being under a beer budget with a taste for the one of Scotland's best inventions/creations/concoctions, I drink what I can afford, or whatever someone else/wherever it happens, provides.

I'm not particularly picky with brews, so long as they're hearty and well put-together. I consider myself pretty open-minded in the realm of fizzy alcoholic liquids (excluding wine coolers and the like). That said, right now my affinities are leaning toward Old Speckled Hen, Golden Monkey, and Long Trail Unfiltered IPA.

And thanks for all the warm welcomes, everyone!

[prendrelemick]

It's well documented that I partake of the odd Newcastle Brown of an evening. Other than that I'll take whatever poisen comes my way. Old Speckled Hen is not a bad drop when you can get it.

SOUNDS: Tell us menfolk, what exactly are your "Buns" and why do you freeze them off? Are they like verrucas?

[jocky]

I know where the northern magnetic pole has migrated to, but not the southern. Any help on the thread in that regard?

The West Highlands of Scotland. We can now boast the most beautiful scenery in the world and the new location for the South Pole. Brrrrr I'm freezing. :cold:

[The Atheist]

I actually think Jocky is one of my brothers. I don't know where to put him amongst the eight older ones I had, but I assure you he is there somewhere. Let us all hope Atheist gets sun burned in the afternoon, and watches the southern lights after dark. I know where the northern magnetic pole has migrated to, but not the southern. Any help on the thread in that regard?

The southern one moved to Pluto.

Having been left with the ozone hole over the most inhospitable place on earth readied it completely for the move.


Enjoy yourself, and know that poor old sounds is freezing her buns off in sunny florida:cold:

Cold in Florida?

(I hear even the manatee are dying!)


(excluding wine coolers and the like).

You know, I used to be married to a woman once who drank that stuff.

Even though I'd seen her puking her guts in an alcoholic haze brought on by consumption of several litres of that gunge, I still married her!

Ah, the joys of irregular hormones.


SOUNDS: Tell us menfolk, what exactly are your "Buns" and why do you freeze them off? Are they like verrucas?

Good point, I've always been interested in the etymology of that one.

I'm not sure whether it's a deliberate euphemism for "bum", or some other bit. The thought of bunions hadn't crossed my mind. Do they get worse in cold weather? They l:eek2::eek2:k bad enough any old time.

[jocky]

Enjoy yourself, and know that poor old sounds is freezing her buns off in sunny florida:cold:

I note, with some interest, that some of the fellows are getting into a lather over the semantics of "buns". It is time to apply some good Scottish common sense to the problem and Jocky is just the man to do it. Here are the dictionary defenitions of the noun buns:

1. A small bread roll, often sweetened or spiced and sometimes containing dried fruit.

2. A tight roll of hair worn at the back of the head.

There is, of course, a slang term but I am sure Soundo would never stoop to discussing her keister on the blokes thread. I hope this has cleared the matter up once and for all. :)

[gbrekken]

just as hot water freezes more quickly than cold, so it is with buns?

[prendrelemick]

I would never snub buns.

[jocky]

I would never snub buns.

This is a most retrograde step Mick, one might even say backward. Is this the start of a bun fight? Well let me be the first to throw the buns, I pray the coffee girls are not watching, or we will never hear the end of it. By the way, Old Helmet has shuffled off his mortal coil, his last words were ' tell Gilly I forgive him' :angel:

Guys, did I ever tell you about the time me and the wife went to Yorkshire on holiday ? On our last night we went to the Slaughtered Lamb for a few refreshments. What a time we almost had, the wife was arm wrestling with the local chapter of the Hells Angels and I was standing at the bar pontificating on the benefits of the Scottish Enlightenment. Everything was going swimmingly until I asked innocently if anyone knew of a character called Prendrelemick? Immediately the bar went deathly silent, even the Hells Angels went pale. The interminable silence was shattered by a loud peel of thunder and a flash of lightning which lit up the premises through the iron barred windows. An old man who had been sitting strangely silently shuffled over to me wearing a cloth cap and his coat tied with a length of rope and said in a soft but scary voice " Ey up Jocky lad, that is a name we never mention in these parts, when thou goes home tonight take thy sen and thine missus quietly back, and stick to the path Jocky, stick to the path " :)

[soundofmusic]

SOUNDS: Tell us menfolk, what exactly are your "Buns" and why do you freeze them off? Are they like verrucas?

My, you've given me something to think about. I had always assumed that everyone call derrieres "buns". Since a "bum" is a derilect and buns are nice soft sweet bread like things that carry our favorite meats: hot dogs and hamburgers...Perhaps there is more to this, I must reflect...




I'm not sure whether it's a deliberate euphemism for "bum", or some other bit. The thought of bunions hadn't crossed my mind. Do they get worse in cold weather? They l:eek2::eek2:k bad enough any old time.

Yes, the manatees don't fare too well in the cold after the power boats run them over...
Yes, buns definitely get worse in cold weather; particularly when they are placed in plastic lawn chairs


I note, with some interest, that some of the fellows are getting into a lather over the semantics of "buns". It is time to apply some good Scottish common sense to the problem and Jocky is just the man to do it. Here are the dictionary defenitions of the noun buns:

1. A small bread roll, often sweetened or spiced and sometimes containing dried fruit.

2. A tight roll of hair worn at the back of the head.

There is, of course, a slang term but I am sure Soundo would never stoop to discussing her keister on the blokes thread. I hope this has cleared the matter up once and for all. :)

Thank you, jocky, for that vote of faith. As soon as I learn what a keister is; I intend to wipe it from my vocabulary...


just as hot water freezes more quickly than cold, so it is with buns?

I haven't proven that with water yet; but as far as leaving a hot tub...

I would never snub buns.

I'm touched; but my buns remain print free

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... By the way, Old Helmet has shuffled off his mortal coil, his last words were ' tell Gilly I forgive him'


...Since a "bum" is a derilect and buns are nice soft sweet bread like things that carry our favorite meats: hot dogs and hamburgers...

Yes, the manatees...
Yes, buns definitely...
...a keister is...
I'm touched; but my buns...

I smell something rotten in the state of Scotland could it be that you delayed the internment of this funeral baked squab?

Say, now there’s a tasty idea for those buns:
“Come on down to McDonald’s and test fly the McSquab. A tasty delight starting with a select breast filet from our farm raised German short hair pigeons, marinated in Glenlivit for three days, placed on a PETA bun smothered in a layer of melted Allgäuer Emmentaler. And may we suggest a side of manatee Au Jus dipping sauce for those little bombers to dive into.
On sale now for just 99 pence, so you better hurry on down before they all fly away!



Guys, ...until I asked innocently if anyone knew of a character called Prendrelemick?
...An old man who had been sitting strangely silently shuffled over to me wearing a cloth cap and his coat tied with a length of rope and said in a soft but scary voice " Ey up Jocky lad, that is a name we never mention in these parts, when thou goes home tonight take thy sen and thine missus quietly back, and stick to the path Jocky, stick to the path "

(smilie that is laughing)
Jocky, your strange, silent, shuffling old man sounds an awful lot like the old shaman, “Terrier”, back in Dumas. Your gaffe at mentioning the name Prendrelemick explains the flurry of HAM radio chatter I picked up from the boys at the Dreary Beery. I am now convinced that the character of Prendrelemick is far more ominous than any of us could have ever imagined.
I would agree Jocky, you best heed the warning; stick to the path and be wary of the Marfa Lights.

[prendrelemick]

This is a most retrograde step Mick, one might even say backward. Is this the start of a bun fight? Well let me be the first to throw the buns, I pray the coffee girls are not watching, or we will never hear the end of it. By the way, Old Helmet has shuffled off his mortal coil, his last words were ' tell Gilly I forgive him' :angel:

Guys, did I ever tell you about the time me and the wife went to Yorkshire on holiday ? On our last night we went to the Slaughtered Lamb for a few refreshments. What a time we almost had, the wife was arm wrestling with the local chapter of the Hells Angels and I was standing at the bar pontificating on the benefits of the Scottish Enlightenment. Everything was going swimmingly until I asked innocently if anyone knew of a character called Prendrelemick? Immediately the bar went deathly silent, even the Hells Angels went pale. The interminable silence was shattered by a loud peel of thunder and a flash of lightning which lit up the premises through the iron barred windows. An old man who had been sitting strangely silently shuffled over to me wearing a cloth cap and his coat tied with a length of rope and said in a soft but scary voice " Ey up Jocky lad, that is a name we never mention in these parts, when thou goes home tonight take thy sen and thine missus quietly back, and stick to the path Jocky, stick to the path " :)

It were all a misunderstandin' ah tell thee! And anyway I wouldn't take much notice of awd Seth, he's not been the same since he sold his IT consultantcy to the Germans.

[Paulclem]

My, you've given me something to think about. I had always assumed that everyone call derrieres "buns". Since a "bum" is a derilect and buns are nice soft sweet bread like things that carry our favorite meats: hot dogs and hamburgers...Perhaps there is more to this, I must reflect...


Yes, the manatees don't fare too well in the cold after the power boats run them over...
Yes, buns definitely get worse in cold weather; particularly when they are placed in plastic lawn chairs



Thank you, jocky, for that vote of faith. As soon as I learn what a keister is; I intend to wipe it from my vocabulary...



I haven't proven that with water yet; but as far as leaving a hot tub...


I'm touched; but my buns remain print free

Are they called buns because when you hold two of them together...

[soundofmusic]

I smell something rotten in the state of Scotland could it be that you delayed the internment of this funeral baked squab?

Say, now there’s a tasty idea for those buns:
“Come on down to McDonald’s and test fly the McSquab. A tasty delight starting with a select breast filet from our farm raised German short hair pigeons, marinated in Glenlivit for three days, placed on a PETA bun smothered in a layer of melted Allgäuer Emmentaler. And may we suggest a side of manatee Au Jus dipping sauce for those little bombers to dive into.
On sale now for just 99 pence, so you better hurry on down before they all .

I'll stop before the 2nd course; I can't eat anything that looks like my 1st mother-in-law

[QUOTE=Paulclem;827067]Are they called buns because when you hold two of them together...[/QUOTE

Yes! It is always better to find a "bun warmer" to keep them at their peak and don't forget the clotted cream and lemon marmalade!

[The Atheist]

I note, with some interest, that some of the fellows are getting into a lather over the semantics of "buns". It is time to apply some good Scottish common sense to the problem and Jocky is just the man to do it. Here are the dictionary defenitions of the noun buns:

1. A small bread roll, often sweetened or spiced and sometimes containing dried fruit.

2. A tight roll of hair worn at the back of the head.

There is, of course, a slang term but I am sure Soundo would never stoop to discussing her keister on the blokes thread. I hope this has cleared the matter up once and for all. :)

Alas, it's a recurring problem.

Lots of people also refer to rolls as buns, which is confusing, since a roll with a couple of buns in the open might well be misconstrued.


" Ey up Jocky lad, that is a name we never mention in these parts, when thou goes home tonight take thy sen and thine missus quietly back, and stick to the path Jocky, stick to the path " :)

Good god, it's Geoffrey Boycott!


Yes! It is always better to find a "bun warmer" to keep them at their peak and don't forget the clotted cream and lemon marmalade!

Wouldn't the marmalade stick to your thermal underwear?

[prendrelemick]

Then there's baps, bloomers and bottom cakes, but lets not go there.

[Paulclem]

Then there's baps, bloomers and bottom cakes, but lets not go there.

Stotties in Sunderland and Newcastle - which sounds like a type of underwear, and batches in Coventry, which sounds like some kind of rash.

You wouldn'twant to replace buns with stotties though - stottie are big, round and flat. They'd look more like an elephant's backside, which might be appropriate for some people - present company excepted - but it's not the image you want to conjure.

[Paulclem]

Good god, it's Geoffrey Boycott!

My rough cousin and his mates used to throw stones at Geoffrey Boycott's house when he was a lad. I just thought you'd like to know.

[gbrekken]

I have missed a few buttons, but they're some thi8ngs not even would joke about. HAs are one of them. Ask me no questions, and I will tell you no why. It's nice to be friends, but I've no intention of making enemies, here, or anywhere. PEACE

[soundofmusic]

Wouldn't the marmalade stick to your thermal underwear?

Hum, good question, I guess you remove the buns from the warmer and then remove the thermal underwear, then add the marmalade...Anyway, it seems to work for jelly rolls.


Then there's baps, bloomers and bottom cakes, but lets not go there.

I found the baps, I have a few friends who look like bottom cakes...what are bloomers?


Stotties in Sunderland and Newcastle - which sounds like a type of underwear, and batches in Coventry, which sounds like some kind of rash.

You wouldn'twant to replace buns with stotties though - stottie are big, round and flat. They'd look more like an elephant's backside, which might be appropriate for some people - present company excepted - but it's not the image you want to conjure.

Ah yes, life is over when we begin looking like a stottie...I'm guessing I have about 40 more years.


I have missed a few buttons, but they're some thi8ngs not even would joke about. HAs are one of them. Ask me no questions, and I will tell you no why. It's nice to be friends, but I've no intention of making enemies, here, or anywhere. PEACE

Join the conversation, my friend. There is nothing more pleasant than sharing a cup, warm buns and conversation.

[jocky]

...what are bloomers?

Ask Mick's grandma?




Join the conversation, my friend. There is nothing more pleasant than sharing a cup, warm buns and conversation.

This is giving me a glow of sentimentality as it brings back happy memories of the tea debate. Started by Atheist I might add. Tea and buns bring out the worst in people, especially in the southern regions. As long as nobody mentions cucumber sandwiches we should be okay. :)

[jocky]

stick to the path and be wary of the Marfa Lights.

I was going to take up Atheists kind offer of a vacation in Auklaund, but since researching the Marfa lights I am heading for Texas, a ufologists dream. Me and my large extended family will be more than happy Gilliat to stay at your house for a prolonged period. Dont worry about the expense, I will square you up as soon as my first, as yet unwritten novel, is published. I can't wait, we will all mosey on down to Soundo's pad and mooch off her for an indefenite period, everyone knows Floridians are filthy rich. Then to round it all off we will pop in to one of Gbrekken' s English classes in Reno. P.S. Gilly we like our breakfast at 7 am sharp and dont worry about my four rotweillers, they are completely harmless. :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

No, no...you don't want to go down there. Remember, Athesit said it is freezing down there at 29 deg.
My gate is always open to weary travellers and I will make sure we leave the "lights" on for you. Roger on that breakfast at seven sharpe which, by the way, will consist of toasted McSquab, rabbit haunches smothered in buttered grits and warm Wild Turkey.

We look forward to seeing you, so don't get too attached to Florida.

Gilliatt

[jocky]

No, no...you don't want to go down there. Remember, Athesit said it is freezing down there at 29 deg.
My gate is always open to weary travellers and I will make sure we leave the "lights" on for you. Roger on that breakfast at seven sharpe which, by the way, will consist of toasted McSquab, rabbit haunches smothered in buttered grits and warm Wild Turkey.

We look forward to seeing you, so don't get too attached to Florida.

Gilliatt

:lol: I know this will be a massive disappointment Gilliatt but the thought of more warm wild turkey has caused a certain amount of green gills in my shackhold, so we will have to decline your kind offer forever. Mick where's the roast beef and Yorkshire pudding ? :)

[The Atheist]

Good god, it's Geoffrey Boycott!

My rough cousin and his mates used to throw stones at Geoffrey Boycott's house when he was a lad. I just thought you'd like to know.

Ha!

Good job too.

Boycott is a scumbag of the lowest kind. Anyone who sees fit to give his wife a bash should be put down, in my opinion.


...what are bloomers?

Here (http://www.bloomers4u.com/short_bloomers.htm)


No, no...you don't want to go down there. Remember, Athesit said it is freezing down there at 29 deg.
My gate is always open to weary travellers and I will make sure we leave the "lights" on for you. Roger on that breakfast at seven sharpe which, by the way, will consist of toasted McSquab, rabbit haunches smothered in buttered grits and warm Wild Turkey.

We look forward to seeing you, so don't get too attached to Florida.

Gilliatt

I've been meaning to say: you have the best sig mine I've ever seen.
One of the great characters of all time.


Mick where's the roast beef and Yorkshire pudding ? :)

Ah, Yorkshire pudding.

I am the master of Yorkshire pud.

[prendrelemick]

:lol: I know this will be a massive disappointment Gilliatt but the thought of more warm wild turkey has caused a certain amount of green gills in my shackhold, so we will have to decline your kind offer forever. Mick where's the roast beef and Yorkshire pudding ? :)


The last time any of you Reivers came looking for beef was during the reign of Good Queen Bess, but we have long memories round here !

[jocky]

The last time any of you Reivers came looking for beef was during the reign of Good Queen Bess, but we have long memories round here !

That is a blatant falsehood, as your ancestor Baron Prendrelemick of the Dales well knew. We were only recovering our prized Aberdeen Angus cattle which he had half inched. Besides, the Virgin Queen, a misnomer if ever there was one, was quite partial to our Reivers. After a long private meeting with the Bold Buccleugh, she emerged from his tent with her face all flushed and stated " With ten thousand such men James V1 could shake any throne in Europe. " :thumbs_up

[soundofmusic]

This is giving me a glow of sentimentality as it brings back happy memories of the tea debate. Started by Atheist I might add. Tea and buns bring out the worst in people, especially in the southern regions. As long as nobody mentions cucumber sandwiches we should be okay. :)

You and the Mrs. may want to give our cucumber sandwiches a try; we use mayonnaise. Sometimes we put alittle tomato and bacon....:p


I can't wait, we will all mosey on down to Soundo's pad and mooch off her for an indefenite period, everyone knows Floridians are filthy rich. Then to round it all off we will pop in to one of Gbrekken' s English classes in Reno. P.S. Gilly we like our breakfast at 7 am sharp and dont worry about my four rotweillers, they are completely harmless. :)

Tell Mrs. J, I'm looking forward to your visit; she may have to do some shopping and make the hearty breakfast you're accustomed to (she can put some of the eggs and sausages in the warmer for me); I do the continental breakfast here: something sweet, juice and coffee.

No, no...you don't want to go down there. Remember, Athesit said it is freezing down there at 29 deg.
My gate is always open to weary travellers and I will make sure we leave the "lights" on for you. Roger on that breakfast at seven sharpe which, by the way, will consist of toasted McSquab, rabbit haunches smothered in buttered grits and warm Wild Turkey.

We look forward to seeing you, so don't get too attached to Florida.

Gilliatt


Ha!

Good job too.

Boycott is a scumbag of the lowest kind. Anyone who sees fit to give his wife a bash should be put down, in my opinion.



Here (http://www.bloomers4u.com/short_bloomers.htm)



I've been meaning to say: you have the best sig mine I've ever seen.
One of the great characters of all time.



Ah, Yorkshire pudding.

I am the master of Yorkshire pud.

[Paulclem]

I found the baps, I have a few friends who look like bottom cakes...what are bloomers? Soundofmusic

Funnily enough - considering our bun thread - they are large loaves of bread.

http://www.parade.com/food/recipe-tips/kitchen/images/refimages/bread/prep/leaven/bloomer.jpg


Good job too.

Boycott is a scumbag of the lowest kind. Anyone who sees fit to give his wife a bash should be put down, in my opinion.

Yes. An opinionated scumbag.

[soundofmusic]

This is giving me a glow of sentimentality as it brings back happy memories of the tea debate. Started by Atheist I might add. Tea and buns bring out the worst in people, especially in the southern regions. As long as nobody mentions cucumber sandwiches we should be okay. :)

You and the Mrs. may want to give our cucumber sandwiches a try; we use mayonnaise. Sometimes we put alittle tomato and bacon....:p


I can't wait, we will all mosey on down to Soundo's pad and mooch off her for an indefenite period, everyone knows Floridians are filthy rich. Then to round it all off we will pop in to one of Gbrekken' s English classes in Reno. P.S. Gilly we like our breakfast at 7 am sharp and dont worry about my four rotweillers, they are completely harmless. :)

Tell Mrs. J, I'm looking forward to your visit; she may have to do some shopping and make the hearty breakfast you're accustomed to (she can put some of the eggs and sausages in the warmer for me);I wake between 9 and 11 and do a continental breakfast: something sweet, juice and coffee.


No, no...you don't want to go down there. Remember, Athesit said it is freezing down there at 29 deg.
My gate is always open to weary travellers and I will make sure we leave the "lights" on for you. Roger on that breakfast at seven sharpe which, by the way, will consist of toasted McSquab, rabbit haunches smothered in buttered grits and warm Wild Turkey.

We look forward to seeing you, so don't get too attached to Florida.

Gilliatt

We are definitely freezing our bloomers, baps and buns down here. I haven't opened the windows or turned on the a/c for 2 weeks. It's okay though, Jocky, I'm asking Atheist and his family to fly in to work the grill and Gilliatt to come also, before his breakfast eats him.





Ah, Yorkshire pudding.

I am the master of Yorkshire pud.

Thank you, Atheist, I wonder if the birth rate went down when ladies wore bloomers; they're not at all fetching. I thought a bloomer was some bread with alot of yeast...

So, do you think your family can come up to feed the guests; The last time I made Yorkshire pudding, it was all flat and greasy.

[The Atheist]

Thank you, Atheist, I wonder if the birth rate went down when ladies wore bloomers; they're not at all fetching.

Hmmm. I did see an advert there for "split crotch" bloomers...


So, do you think your family can come up to feed the guests; The last time I made Yorkshire pudding, it was all flat and greasy.

No problem.

Kill the steer, cut off a bolar and I'll be there with my Bisto and Yorkie pud mix.

[soundofmusic]

I found the baps, I have a few friends who look like bottom cakes...what are bloomers? Soundofmusic

Funnily enough - considering our bun thread - they are large loaves of bread.

http://www.parade.com/food/recipe-tips/kitchen/images/refimages/bread/prep/leaven/bloomer.jpg

[COLOR="DarkRed"]

Those are beautiful; much nicer than the fabric version.


Hmmm. I did see an advert there for "split crotch" bloomers...

No problem.

Kill the steer, cut off a bolar and I'll be there with my Bisto and Yorkie pud mix.

Split crotch bloomers, hum, I assume it was a matter of practicality...

Gilliatt will bring the steer (wearing a polka dot dress and bloomers) on the plane with him; the airline was going to charge extra for her size, but we stuck her in a wheelchair and protested that her size was due to hormone therapy:lol:

I hope Paulclem will come, maybe he'll bring some good English breads.

[Paulclem]

Those are beautiful; much nicer than the fabric version.



Split crotch bloomers, hum, I assume it was a matter of practicality...

Gilliatt will bring the steer (wearing a polka dot dress and bloomers) on the plane with him; the airline was going to charge extra for her size, but we stuck her in a wheelchair and protested that her size was due to hormone therapy:lol:

I hope Paulclem will come, maybe he'll bring some good English breads.

I have to confess that the best bread I've had are the rolls you get in Austria. Superb!


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikibooks/en/e/e0/Types_of_bread.jpg

So we're coming to yours in Florida? Lots of Brits like it.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Ha!

I've been meaning to say: you have the best sig mine I've ever seen.
One of the great characters of all time.



Thanks Atheist,

And now Ladies and Gentlemen, for the sake of the uneducated, I ask that you all sit down, finish what is left in your glass and kindly direct your attention to the silver screen. Lights please.
Behold the greatest line that has ever been, and likely ever will be, uddered in the annals of the cinematic world: (To save a little time just skip ahead to about 2:45 through 3:40)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGX-dXAxZds&feature=related


...We are definitely freezing our bloomers, baps and buns down here. I haven't opened the windows or turned on the a/c for 2 weeks. It's okay though, Jocky, I'm asking Atheist and his family to fly in to work the grill and Gilliatt to come also, before his breakfast eats him.

Sounds like you got quite a chill down there. I will bring the frozen orange juice to serve with that breakfast.


I have to confess that the best bread I've had are the rolls you get in Austria. Superb!


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikibooks/en/e/e0/Types_of_bread.jpg

So we're coming to yours in Florida? Lots of Brits like it.

Hello to Paulclem from your friends here in the Lone Star Republic.
That brot looks goot!

Gilliatt

[The Atheist]

I hope Paulclem will come, maybe he'll bring some good English breads.

Even better if he brings some English broads.

Not to be confused with Norfolk Broads.

They're wetter and much less fun.

[soundofmusic]

I have to confess that the best bread I've had are the rolls you get in Austria. Superb!


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikibooks/en/e/e0/Types_of_bread.jpg

So we're coming to yours in Florida? Lots of Brits like it.

We'll roll out the red carpet and get the spare room ready...Those Austrian rolls look delicious

Thanks Atheist,

And now Ladies and Gentlemen, for the sake of the uneducated, I ask that you all sit down, finish what is left in your glass and kindly direct your attention to the silver screen. Lights please.
Behold the greatest line that has ever been, and likely ever will be, uddered in the annals of the cinematic world: (To save a little time just skip ahead to about 2:45 through 3:40)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGX-dXAxZds&feature=related



Sounds like you got quite a chill down there. I will bring the frozen orange juice to serve with that breakfast.


Gilliatt

Lovely movie, Gilliatt...I've always liked "Young Frankenstein"
Maybe we'll put alittle champagne in the oj


Even better if he brings some English broads.

Not to be confused with Norfolk Broads.

They're wetter and much less fun.

Now, I assume you're speaking of the raven haired, blue eyed, pale skinned English broads...like Sara Brightman...
I'm afraid you may have to keep the ladies in your room until after dark, when the kiddies are all safe in their beds;)

[prendrelemick]

Sara is a lovely girl, but the real English Rose has moved down market recently.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/6a00d8341d417153ef0115709ba775970b.png

[gbrekken]

no quotes or capitals here. OMG! Intenational translator here. When the bloomers come off, birth rate has a chance of arising. I only want pliable buns, though even frozen ones stand the possiblity of being warmed by large cold hands. Benefits of friction was probably documented by Newton. Wild Turkey is nectar of Kentuckian fathers. If it turns gills green, not even a pickle/peanut butter sandwich could help. Heart to Haiti.
I prefer my hot bread pudding served with thick cream as the conveyor.

sometimes loaned computer works, sometime not. Son did good first semester of law school.

Leaving 1,150 acres of corn in the field, a brother-in-law left to harvest some hogs in Texas, and stopped off in Colorado to drop off a few pounds of pork. It's not unbelievable, but I won't broach the subject with the man (talked to my sister-that's enough-not even she is foolish enough to broach the subject). Supposed to hit 50F here today, then the pineapple express begins (el nino?).

[The Atheist]

Sara is a lovely girl, but the real English Rose has moved down market recently.

Now, that's some real class right there!

Which one's yours?


Leaving 1,150 acres of corn in the field, a brother-in-law left to harvest some hogs in Texas, and stopped off in Colorado to drop off a few pounds of pork. It's not unbelievable, but I won't broach the subject with the man (talked to my sister-that's enough-not even she is foolish enough to broach the subject). Supposed to hit 50F here today, then the pineapple express begins (el nino?).

Is Nevada really in USA?

:brow:

[Paulclem]

Thanks Atheist,

And now Ladies and Gentlemen, for the sake of the uneducated, I ask that you all sit down, finish what is left in your glass and kindly direct your attention to the silver screen. Lights please.
Behold the greatest line that has ever been, and likely ever will be, uddered in the annals of the cinematic world: (To save a little time just skip ahead to about 2:45 through 3:40)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGX-dXAxZds&feature=related



Sounds like you got quite a chill down there. I will bring the frozen orange juice to serve with that breakfast.



Hello to Paulclem from your friends here in the Lone Star Republic.
That brot looks goot!

Gilliatt

Hi Gilliat. Thanks for the clip.

I saw Blazing Saddles when it was released in England in the late 70s (?). Brilliant film. I was an older teen then, and we went to see Blazing Saddles and then Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Great memories of watching with my mates.

[QUOTE=soundofmusic;828981]We'll roll out the red carpet and get the spare room ready...Those Austrian rolls look delicious

They were great.

Did you ask me in another thread about the Leofric in Coventy? It's changed hands now.

There have been a few changes around the City Centre too. It's getting better.


Sara is a lovely girl, but the real English Rose has moved down market recently.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/6a00d8341d417153ef0115709ba775970b.png

This wouldn't be Halifax would it?

[soundofmusic]

Sara is a lovely girl, but the real English Rose has moved down market recently.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k78/prendrelemick/6a00d8341d417153ef0115709ba775970b.png

Gracious, are they triplets. You know, if they're triplets, you can't separate them...I hope you have "lots of bread"
Aren't those roses of the short-stemmed, mixed variety though? I still think, if I were a gentleman, I would prefer the long stemmed, single-hued beauties to grace my private garden.


no quotes or capitals here. OMG! Intenational translator here. When the bloomers come off, birth rate has a chance of arising. I only want pliable buns, though even frozen ones stand the possiblity of being warmed by large cold hands. Benefits of friction was probably documented by Newton. Wild Turkey is nectar of Kentuckian fathers. If it turns gills green, not even a pickle/peanut butter sandwich could help. Heart to Haiti.
I prefer my hot bread pudding served with thick cream as the conveyor.

sometimes loaned computer works, sometime not. Son did good first semester of law school.

Leaving 1,150 acres of corn in the field, a brother-in-law left to harvest some hogs in Texas, and stopped off in Colorado to drop off a few pounds of pork. It's not unbelievable, but I won't broach the subject with the man (talked to my sister-that's enough-not even she is foolish enough to broach the subject). Supposed to hit 50F here today, then the pineapple express begins (el nino?).


I don't know, I think you might need to warm those big hands up before kneading the bread:smash: I like my hot bread pudding with lots of cinnamon and whipped cream.
Kuddos to the son:banana:
Why is the corn unharvested?
I don't think I'd let the brother-in-law go a-traveling with any of my hogs:eek:

[prendrelemick]

Gracious, are they triplets. You know, if they're triplets, you can't separate them...I hope you have "lots of bread"
Aren't those roses of the short-stemmed, mixed variety though? I still think, if I were a gentleman, I would prefer the long stemmed, single-hued beauties to grace my private garden.






No they are not your garden roses, more Rosa Rugosa , a native rose known for its wild habit and large hips.

As to the contents of my bread basket....

[soundofmusic]

No they are not your garden roses, more Rosa Rugosa , a native rose known for its wild habit and large hips.

As to the contents of my bread basket....

I found an article, a fellow was complaining that while he was away his Rosa Rugosa had become huge and thorny:lol:

[The Atheist]

No they are not your garden roses, more Rosa Rugosa , a native rose known for its wild habit and large hips.

And usually highly regarded by young men with a certain alcohol content.

Until the morning after...

[jocky]

It is with a great deal of regret that I have to report that our Empire has been victim to a massive swindle. All this talk of buns by our American friends has been a red herring. We have been conned, they were really after our confectionary industry. The great institution of Cadbury has been usurped by a sneaky hostile takeover. How can you trust a nation that would go to war over tea ? Creme eggs, Flakes, Dairy Milk, Crunchies and, God help us, Chocolate fingers are now the property of Corporate America. Wait until I get my hands on that Gilliatt, business trip indeed ! :(

[soundofmusic]

And usually highly regarded by young men with a certain alcohol content.

Until the morning after...

Smart young ladies grab their attire, wipe their runny mascara and evacuate before the young prince wakes and finds a mass of cellulite:lol:


It is with a great deal of regret that I have to report that our Empire has been victim to a massive swindle. All this talk of buns by our American friends has been a red herring. We have been conned, they were really after our confectionary industry. The great institution of Cadbury has been usurped by a sneaky hostile takeover. How can you trust a nation that would go to war over tea ? Creme eggs, Flakes, Dairy Milk, Crunchies and, God help us, Chocolate fingers are now the property of Corporate America. Wait until I get my hands on that Gilliatt, business trip indeed ! :(

Oh my, yes, I forgot your wonderful chocolate biscuits and shortbread, Oh god, the marmalades and clotted creams; Does anyone care if the cows are mad?

[prendrelemick]

Can I do that? Borrow a couple of billion, take over a company then pass the debt on to that company. While I enjoy my pork scratchings from a silver salver.

[soundofmusic]

Can I do that? Borrow a couple of billion, take over a company then pass the debt on to that company. While I enjoy my pork scratchings from a silver salver.

;) No, it can't be. The Americans are trying to save the 100+ year old company from ruin...We're helping people again, right:idea: Unfortunately, we're changing your chocolate recipe; you know, the one that made us want to write a blank check:goof:

[The Atheist]

It is with a great deal of regret that I have to report that our Empire has been victim to a massive swindle. All this talk of buns by our American friends has been a red herring. We have been conned, they were really after our confectionary industry. The great institution of Cadbury has been usurped by a sneaky hostile takeover. How can you trust a nation that would go to war over tea ? Creme eggs, Flakes, Dairy Milk, Crunchies and, God help us, Chocolate fingers are now the property of Corporate America. Wait until I get my hands on that Gilliatt, business trip indeed ! :(

Buy shares in Nestle immediately.

I imagine this would be the best marketing ploy they could ever come up with.

Going by food made by Kraft I've tried so far, most of it tastes as though it was made from emissions from a waste pipe of the Bangalore sewage plant in a factory built on the ruined Union Carbide one at Bhopal.

[gbrekken]

The extremely wet and frozen corn in NW MN is 1/2 buried in three feet of snow. The weather here in NV crosses CA first, and sometimes originates near Hawaii (hence pineapple). Not sure about that Cadbury deal going through, once it becomes common knowledge that the majority stockholder of Kraft is the Chinese government.

major computer problem-may be a while before I get back. Keep it going blokes

[soundofmusic]

The extremely wet and frozen corn in NW MN is 1/2 buried in three feet of snow. The weather here in NV crosses CA first, and sometimes originates near Hawaii (hence pineapple). Not sure about that Cadbury deal going through, once it becomes common knowledge that the majority stockholder of Kraft is the Chinese government.

major computer problem-may be a while before I get back. Keep it going blokes

Sorry about the corn and the computer; sounds like a mess...

Oh, so that's what happened to Krafts recipes...Have any of you ever tasted those nasty gelatin desserts they sell in Chinese stores? :sick:


Buy shares in Nestle immediately.

I imagine this would be the best marketing ploy they could ever come up with.

Going by food made by Kraft I've tried so far, most of it tastes as though it was made from emissions from a waste pipe of the Bangalore sewage plant in a factory built on the ruined Union Carbide one at Bhopal.

Well, Nestle isn't so great anymore either. The days are gone when children toasted every morning to Nestles Quick rabbit and Kellogs tiger...

I hope the other UK biscuit companies will hold out...

[The Atheist]

The power of Google:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s97/TheAtheist/cadbury.jpg

[prendrelemick]

Ah so thats how kraft did it. Looks like you can buy New Zealand too at the push of a button.


Smart young ladies grab their attire, wipe their runny mascara and evacuate before the young prince wakes and finds a mass of cellulite

Thats why we appreciate your female presence, Sounds,- Life from the other side.

[soundofmusic]

Ah so thats how kraft did it. Looks like you can buy New Zealand too at the push of a button.


Smart young ladies grab their attire, wipe their runny mascara and evacuate before the young prince wakes and finds a mass of cellulite

Thats why we appreciate your female presence, Sounds,- Life from the other side.

:) Thank you, I feel all warm and fuzzy now:blush: Just don't tell the ladies I'm letting you in on the "insider secrets";)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

It is with a great deal of regret...
...Wait until I get my hands on that Gilliatt, business trip indeed ! :(

It wasn't me, remember I was selling sand to the Arabs.


Can I do that? Borrow a couple of billion, take over a company then pass the debt on to that company. While I enjoy my pork scratchings from a silver salver.


Ah so thats how kraft did it. Looks like you can buy New Zealand too at the push of a button.

This is how the deal went down:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU7nG3KvZDA&feature=related

Gilliatt

[prendrelemick]

Irene Rosenfield and Veruca Salt. Are they the same person? I can't help noticing they are never seen together.;)

[soundofmusic]

Irene Rosenfield and Veruca Salt. Are they the same person? I can't help noticing they are never seen together.;)

:lol:Good one, Irene's the one in drag...She's Veruca's father:alien:

[soundofmusic]

:( Oh boys, where did everyone go:bawling: Did you find a new clubhouse or pub:idea:

[The Atheist]

:( Oh boys, where did everyone go:bawling: Did you find a new clubhouse or pub:idea:

No!

I've been soaking up the sun and working, Mick's been guarding the sheep, Gilliat the scotch and jocky's been tied up by his Mrs.

I'm just not sure why....

...but the screams say I shouldn't look.

[jocky]

No!

I've been soaking up the sun and working, Mick's been guarding the sheep, Gilliat the scotch and jocky's been tied up by his Mrs.

I'm just not sure why....

...but the screams say I shouldn't look.

As usual Atheist you are correct, it is a horrible tale I have to relate. It all started with my new found interest in alchemy. I set up my laboratory in the basement complete with candle, furnace, all the necessary chemical compounds and the forbidden books. I feverishly studied Sir Isaac Newton's alchemical notes and after much blood sweat and tears I can report a degree of success. I am the first man in the planet to have transformed gold into lead. Unfortunately, I used the wife's jewellery for my experiments. If I could just somehow untie myself ( A difficult procedure with so many broken bones ) I may be able to reverse the process. :)

[gbrekken]

Not to worry Sound, we're all just hibernating in man-made caves; it happens a' times.

[soundofmusic]

Not to worry Sound, we're all just hibernating in man-made caves; it happens a' times.

Glad to hear it, does the cave have cable, surround sound and a tiger-hide couch; if so, I'll be over for the game...I hear that their thinking of getting an all male cheerleader squad for us ladies;)


No!

I've been soaking up the sun and working, Mick's been guarding the sheep, Gilliat the scotch and jocky's been tied up by his Mrs.

I'm just not sure why....

...but the screams say I shouldn't look.

God, that Jockys a lucky man; to have a woman who can cook and wrestle:banana::idea:
You know, Atheist, I don't think you've ever confirmed what or who you work on; but if you can soak up the sun while doing it, I'm changing professions:idea:


As usual Atheist you are correct, it is a horrible tale I have to relate. It all started with my new found interest in alchemy. I set up my laboratory in the basement complete with candle, furnace, all the necessary chemical compounds and the forbidden books. I feverishly studied Sir Isaac Newton's alchemical notes and after much blood sweat and tears I can report a degree of success. I am the first man in the planet to have transformed gold into lead. Unfortunately, I used the wife's jewellery for my experiments. If I could just somehow untie myself ( A difficult procedure with so many broken bones ) I may be able to reverse the process. :)

Have you told the Mrs J. how lucky she is to have a husband with so many talents...Now, if you could transform lead into Jack Daniels and the cork into a fat diamond for the Mrs...:)

[jocky]

Jack Daniels

:lol: It is with great regret that I have to inform you Soundo, that It is my solemn duty to report you to the Cold Ale Committee. The charge, using two unacceptable words when it comes to booze. Don't worry, you will get a fair hearing. Atheist is the presiding judge supported by unimpeachable advice from me, Prendrelemick, Gilliat and Gbrekken. It is just a formality, but I wouldn't book my holidays if I were you. :)

[soundofmusic]

:lol: It is with great regret that I have to inform you Soundo, that It is my solemn duty to report you to the Cold Ale Committee. The charge, using two unacceptable words when it comes to booze. Don't worry, you will get a fair hearing. Atheist is the presiding judge supported by unimpeachable advice from me, Prendrelemick, Gilliat and Gbrekken. It is just a formality, but I wouldn't book my holidays if I were you. :)

:bawling: I plead ignorance of the law...I can't be responsible as I am just a girl and drink all those fruity drinks:blush: I will hence sit at the corner of the bar with my Plantars Punch and frozen Pina Coladas...

Do you think I'll get out in time to watch the all guy cheerleaders at superbowl?:p

[jocky]

:bawling:

Do you think I'll get out in time to watch the all guy cheerleaders at superbowl?:p

Now, Jocky will have to use his limited vocabulary with great care here. Are you sure you did not mean ' gay cheerleaders ' ? In our great Empire we tend not to wear half a ton of body armour when clattering our enemies. I am sorry Soundo, but I have to report you to The committee again. The charge, pekinolatters. :)

[prendrelemick]

I will hence sit at the corner of the bar with my Plantars Punch and frozen Pina Coladas...

Do you think I'll get out in time to watch the all guy cheerleaders at superbowl?:p


You're just making it worse for yourself sounds.

Beware the Witch Finder General ! (Scottish branch)

[soundofmusic]

Now, Jocky will have to use his limited vocabulary with great care here. Are you sure you did not mean ' gay cheerleaders ' ? In our great Empire we tend not to wear half a ton of body armour when clattering our enemies. I am sorry Soundo, but I have to report you to The committee again. The charge, pekinolatters. :)

:bawling: Sounds pleads ignorance of the law again; what is pekinolatters?
Yes, you may have something there; they may be gay...do the lads in the UK grab each other in celebration?:lol:


You're just making it worse for yourself sounds.

Beware the Witch Finder General ! (Scottish branch)

Thank you for the heads up:thumbs_up. I think I'll hide out by Atheists pool until I give them all the slip;)

[The Atheist]

Yes, you may have something there; they may be gay...do the lads in the UK grab each other in celebration?:lol:

Now look here - as rugby shows us, grown men grabbing each other by the crotch is not necessarily gay.


:Thank you for the heads up:thumbs_up. I think I'll hide out by Atheists pool until I give them all the slip;)

Pool? Slip?

I'm getting subliminal messages here.

You didn't really say that Daniels' bloke's name did you? It's a bit like he-who-must-not-be-named in Harry Potter.

[soundofmusic]

Now look here - as rugby shows us, grown men grabbing each other by the crotch is not necessarily gay.

Pool? Slip?

I'm getting subliminal messages here.

You didn't really say that Daniels' bloke's name did you? It's a bit like he-who-must-not-be-named in Harry Potter.

Well, if Atheist says that men grabbing each other by the crotch is not gay; then it's not gay...
How about women rugby players, is it gay when they grab each other by the crotch:idea:

Well, I decided to bring my bubble bath for your hot tub instead; then, maybe a little cool night swimming when mom, dad, and the kids have all closed their eyes...
Oh yes, there's a fellow in the Harry Potter movie, he takes alot of baths...he does baths as Cedric, he gets washed as a pilot, I think he even does a bath as a vampire...I might invite him over; though he really looks better in full garb...Some people just look better fully clothed;)

[prendrelemick]

I know I do.

[The Atheist]

Well, if Atheist says that men grabbing each other by the crotch is not gay; then it's not gay...
How about women rugby players, is it gay when they grab each other by the crotch:idea:

No, not gay at all.

But very interesting to male rugby players!


Well, I decided to bring my bubble bath for your hot tub instead; then, maybe a little cool night swimming when mom, dad, and the kids have all closed their eyes...
Oh yes, there's a fellow in the Harry Potter movie, he takes alot of baths...he does baths as Cedric, he gets washed as a pilot, I think he even does a bath as a vampire...I might invite him over; though he really looks better in full garb...Some people just look better fully clothed;)

Most of the ones over 40 for starters.

:lol:

[jocky]

I know I do.

Yes, dungarees, wellies, woolly hat, and monacle are considered to be fatally attractive in Yorkshire. ;)




But very interesting to male rugby players!




:lol:

Speaking of rugby we are playing a young ladies fifteen shortly. I am obviously playing tight head prop. The scrum should be very interesting. I, of course, will report on the outcome shortly. :)

[soundofmusic]

I know I do.

[QUOTE=The Atheist;8361

Most of the ones over 40 for starters.

:lol:[/QUOTE]

I'm standing in line for a "surrogate body"; I think I'll do a tall Dolly Parton...

:alien:

[The Atheist]

Speaking of rugby we are playing a young ladies fifteen shortly. I am obviously playing tight head prop. The scrum should be very interesting. I, of course, will report on the outcome shortly. :)

You just want to get close to the hooker.

[prendrelemick]

Ah memories! As a callow youth I played in a Girls vs Boys rugby match. (We had to hop with the ball as a handicap.) As the game progressed we began to realise the possibilities, and stopped passing the ball to each other, prefering to be caught and jumped upon by hoards pubescent girls in gym skirts. It was the only time I ever saw wingers being prepared to ruck and maul.(We lost about 80-0)
I entered the fray as a boy and came from the field a man.

[jocky]

Well people I am sending my report from the local accident and emergency ward. The match did not go as planned. To paraphrase Mick ' I entered the fray as a man and came from the field a eunoch.' Everything was gong well until we won the put in at the first scrum. I looked at my opposite number, God she was a stunner , as we were about to get to grips she ran her tongue seductively over her top lip and said to me in a husky voice ' Jocky you have dropped your contact lens '. As I bent to pick it up she kicked me in the groin and kneed me in the face. The stupid thing was I dont even have contact lenses. When will I ever learn ? :(

[prendrelemick]

So the old adage that rugby is a game played by men with funny shaped balls, is proven true.

[soundofmusic]

:bawling: I and Mrs. Jocky are holding a candlelight vigil :bawling:

[jocky]

Praying for my demise will do you no good whatsoever. I have too much to live for, and besides, who would look after my pigeons ? :)

[soundofmusic]

Praying for my demise will do you no good whatsoever. I have too much to live for, and besides, who would look after my pigeons ? :)

Oh no, Mrs Jocky was praying for what you lost on the rugby field that fateful day; and I, in an outpouring of feminine comradery was holding a candle at her side:bawling:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...passing the ball to each other, prefering to be caught and jumped upon by hoards pubescent girls in gym skirts...
...I entered the fray as a boy and came from the field a man.


...opposite number, God she was a stunner... As I bent to pick it up she kicked me in the groin and kneed me in the face...

(green laughing smilie)

Gentlemen and lady, I apologize for being absent for such an extended period time. You see, I was down in central Texas selling rocks to a quarry.

Reminds me of the time when I was a young whipper snapper playing tether ball on the school grounds and had my innards nearly turned inside out. While in the midst of a heated round, I punched the ball and as I plotted the trajectory with prideful eyes, a sudden fear came over me. The orbit was on a collision course with the head of the biggest ten year old sow you’ve ever seen. All of a sudden, I was being wrenched out of the game by a lock of my hair. While holding my head down with her left, doubled over, she proceeded to punch me in the gut with her right, lifting me off the ground with each shot.
The bells rang and as all headed back to class; I was left propped up against the pole with the tether chain wrapped around me. God those were glorious times!

By the way Jocky,
Don’t you fret over your sky r…, I mean pigeons. I’ll be happy to look after them.

Aside: reminder to self - Clean the Browning, pick up a box of 12 gauge buckshot, oh, and of course a flask of Wild Turkey.

Gilliatt

[The Atheist]

I entered the fray as a boy and came from the field a man.

Ah, the good old days when boys and girls were allowed to play in free, unihibited manner.

Teenage pregnancies put an end to it.


Aside: reminder to self - Clean the Browning, pick up a box of 12 gauge buckshot, oh, and of course a flask of Wild Turkey.

Gilliatt

Buckshot?

Bird shot, surely?

[soundofmusic]

(green laughing smilie)

Gentlemen and lady, I apologize for being absent for such an extended period time. You see, I was down in central Texas selling rocks to a quarry.

Reminds me of the time when I was a young whipper snapper playing tether ball on the school grounds and had my innards nearly turned inside out. While in the midst of a heated round, I punched the ball and as I plotted the trajectory with prideful eyes, a sudden fear came over me. The orbit was on a collision course with the head of the biggest ten year old sow you’ve ever seen. All of a sudden, I was being wrenched out of the game by a lock of my hair. While holding my head down with her left, doubled over, she proceeded to punch me in the gut with her right, lifting me off the ground with each shot.
The bells rang and as all headed back to class; I was left propped up against the pole with the tether chain wrapped around me. God those were glorious times!

By the way Jocky,
Don’t you fret over your sky r…, I mean pigeons. I’ll be happy to look after them.

Aside: reminder to self - Clean the Browning, pick up a box of 12 gauge buckshot, oh, and of course a flask of Wild Turkey.

Gilliatt

My god, man, I'd stay away from those rugby tarts; you could lose both of your boys that way...:sick:


Ah, the good old days when boys and girls were allowed to play in free, unihibited manner.

Teenage pregnancies put an end to it.

I think uninhibited snogging is safer, don't you?:lol:

Buckshot?

Bird shot, surely?

[jocky]

(green laughing smilie)

Gentlemen and lady, I apologize for being absent for such an extended period time. You see, I was down in central Texas selling rocks to a quarry.

Aside: reminder to self - Clean the Browning, pick up a box of 12 gauge buckshot.

Gilliatt

:) You are working way to hard Gilly, remember Willy Lomond and Death of a Salesman. Never trust a Browning, it has a bad habit of jamming at the most inopportune moments, apparently it only works when you are blowing down the barrel to clear the dust. :lol:


You just want to get close to the hooker.

Trust you to throw me a forward pass. :)


So the old adage that rugby is a game played by men with funny shaped balls, is proven true.

Either that, or I am the exception that proves the rule. :)


Oh no, Mrs Jocky was praying for what you lost on the rugby field that fateful day; and I, in an outpouring of feminine comradery was holding a candle at her side:bawling:

Soundo, I will remember you in my will, COST OF CANDLE: FIFTY CENTS: LAWYER DAGGETT TO COLLECT SAID AMOUNT. :)

[soundofmusic]

Soundo, I will remember you in my will, COST OF CANDLE: FIFTY CENTS: LAWYER DAGGETT TO COLLECT SAID AMOUNT. :)

Thank you kind sir; I think the kind lawyer is planning to collect double from me...but, as he has an honest face:lol:

[The Atheist]

Apology to northern hemisphere readers:

This summer down under has been so successful and hot that we've decided to keep it.

As of today, the earth will remain in its current position to ensure that we have all-year summer from now on.

That does mean that northerners will have perpetual winter, a matter which isn't disturbing our sleep at all.

Learn ice-fishing quickly.

Thank you for your co-operation. (No, we aren't taking any migrants.)

[soundofmusic]

Apology to northern hemisphere readers:

This summer down under has been so successful and hot that we've decided to keep it.

As of today, the earth will remain in its current position to ensure that we have all-year summer from now on.

That does mean that northerners will have perpetual winter, a matter which isn't disturbing our sleep at all.

Learn ice-fishing quickly.

Thank you for your co-operation. (No, we aren't taking any migrants.)

:lol: Thank you, I can live without the hot muggy days, drenched clothes after a car trip to the grocery store, bright red skin from just looking trough the wind shield...yes, I think this is a great idea; of course, we haven't heard from our Texas, Nevada, Scottish and English friends yet;)

[prendrelemick]

You're only doing it to become more like Australia.

[BienvenuJDC]

I heard that Australia is trying to ban small breasted women in pornography...because it might entice pedophiles? Has anyone else heard that?

[prendrelemick]

No. But to be honest you couldn't make it up.

They'll be seeking to limit certain other aspects too, for fear of making the Austrailian Male feel inadequate.

[BienvenuJDC]

No. But to be honest you couldn't make it up.

Don't you just love the wisdom and reason that some people give off?

[Satan]

I heard that Australia is trying to ban small breasted women in pornography...because it might entice pedophiles? Has anyone else heard that?
Yes, and then I rolled my eyes.

Read this for some more insight into the minds of our guardian angels:

A 13-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy from Valparaiso have been charged with possession of child pornography and child exploitation after it was discovered they were using their cell phones to exchange nude pictures of themselves with each other.
Source: http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/indiana-middle-school-sexting-82949612.html

[gbrekken]

Oh the shame of it all-even old number 7 got bashed, and wild turkey was mistaken for an inedible suggesting regurgitation as opposed to a tasty drinkable to warm the heart next to the hearth. Does that call for another squab on the spit?

Forever winter? HMMMM no mosquitoes, the ice house stays on the lake year round, fewer social invites meaning less travel, those in need of clothing keep it on in public, never again sun-burned, no need for refrigeration outdoors, etc. In spite of all those advantages, the southern hemisphere may be in need of a revolution, or an invasionary expedition so we can avoid the migratory status. I know just the man to start it. His name is Someone Else. His cousin Nobody Else would probably sign on for life, as well as their sister Every Body (not to be confused with less endowed females from islands below the equator).

I'd still prefer a co-ed game of Twister over a similar game of Rugby (clothing optional, but only after we verify age and obtain signed releases for pictures and sworn affidavits for non-intent of gonadectomies of course).

[jocky]

Apology to northern hemisphere readers:

This summer down under has been so successful and hot that we've decided to keep it.

As of today, the earth will remain in its current position to ensure that we have all-year summer from now on.

That does mean that northerners will have perpetual winter, a matter which isn't disturbing our sleep at all.

Learn ice-fishing quickly.

Thank you for your co-operation. (No, we aren't taking any migrants.)

Atheist, you have pulled some stunts in your time, but stealing the sun is not to be tolerated. Remember, the sun never sets on the British Empire. :)

[soundofmusic]

Atheist, you have pulled some stunts in your time, but stealing the sun is not to be tolerated. Remember, the sun never sets on the British Empire. :)

I hear that New Zealand is annexing the British Empire; yeah, the Queen decided since it's all shrunk so much anyway...and yet there are so many royal mouths to feed, and so many historical buildings to maintain....;)

[The Atheist]

I heard that Australia is trying to ban small breasted women in pornography...because it might entice pedophiles? Has anyone else heard that?

I think it's a stunt by a porno film company, but there does seem to be some truth in it. Small-breasted women may appear less than 18, so only big boobs will be allowed in porno films made in Australia.

There doesn't seem to be anything new in that.


Atheist, you have pulled some stunts in your time, but stealing the sun is not to be tolerated. Remember, the sun never sets on the British Empire. :)

You can still have the sunsets.

Just after 3 hours of daylight.

[Paulclem]

I think it's a stunt by a porno film company, but there does seem to be some truth in it. Small-breasted women may appear less than 18, so only big boobs will be allowed in porno films made in Australia.

There doesn't seem to be anything new in that.



You can still have the sunsets.

Just after 3 hours of daylight.

Same old same old then...

We weren't exposed on the slag heaps of Yorkshire as babes in arms for nowt...and we had to kill and cook our own tin of Tesco's own brand beans...

[prendrelemick]

Eee I remember when if wor all slag 'eaps round 'ere. Afore the' tore em down to make way f' theritige park! Them were t'days .

[The Atheist]

What?

The slag heaps are the heritage.

[Paulclem]

Eee I remember when if wor all slag 'eaps round 'ere. Afore the' tore em down to make way f' theritige park! Them were t'days .

Aye, we used to get reet mucky launchin erselves from top t' bottom. We'd go 'ome black an blue, an covered from 'ead t' foot wi coal dust.

Ah remember me mam would shout - get thisen in 'ere, and gi' me a slap as I tried to duck under 'er swingin' fist.

Them were t' days.:lol:

[The Atheist]

:lol:

[jocky]

To whom it may concern, apart from New Zealand, Florida, Nevada and Texas. The Six Nations start next week. Let me be the first to extend the hand of friendship to all those who are perhaps not Scottish, Welsh, Irish, Italian or Frogs. Some may say this is directed to my English neighbours, but never Jocky, who is renowned for his fair mindedness. Your slag heaps are about to be dismantled and your Green and Pleasant Land shattered forever. Best wishes from Jockland. ;)

[The Atheist]

The Six Nations start next week.

A fiver on Scotland to win?

They did beat Australia.

[prendrelemick]

Dismantle our Yorkshire Munroes! Never .

As a follower of the M62 corridor-code when it comes to Rugby, I didn't realize it was 6 nations yawnion time again.

I'll have a fiver on Wales- poor things need some encouragement.

[jocky]

A fiver on Scotland to win?

They did beat Australia.

Don't do it Atheist! I get the blame for everything as it is, but I will not be held responsible for you losing a fiver. Mind you 22/1 against Scotland to win the grand slam....I wonder if the wife has got any money....:idea:


Dismantle our Yorkshire Munroes! Never .

As a follower of the M62 corridor-code when it comes to Rugby, I didn't realize it was 6 nations yawnion time again.

I'll have a fiver on Wales- poor things need some encouragement.

A rugby league adherent. My son in law is a huge fan of Hull Kingston Rovers, I told my daughter this signified a distinct lack of breeding and an absense of moral rectitude, but she still went and married him. Keep away from that 'Windy Hill' a scene of desolation if ever there was one. :)

[The Atheist]

Don't do it Atheist! I get the blame for everything as it is, but I will not be held responsible for you losing a fiver. Mind you 22/1 against Scotland to win the grand slam....I wonder if the wife has got any money....:idea:

Better send me the money - they're at 25 here.

Any Italians around? I see they're at 250!


My son in law is a huge fan of Hull Kingston Rovers,

Do his knuckles drag on the ground when he walks?

Common among league supporters, I've found.


I'll have a fiver on Wales- poor things need some encouragement.

Do they ever!

The best thing about Wales and rugby was when we had Jonah playing for us and the ABs played the pride of Wales.

Some great headlines available.

"Jonah Destroys Wales"... that kind of thing.

[Paulclem]

Do his knuckles drag on the ground when he walks?

Common among league supporters, I've found.

:lol:

We refer to some of them as "Rock Apes". The alpha male bloke-men who had beards when they were 12 and became fully grown over the summer holidays. They would return to school after the long hot summer and terrorise the neighbourhood of the playground. They could be tracked by the lines of spit they left behind them.

One such creature - Baz was his name - would assault our underdeveloped selves with the challenge

"Every spice on yer!" which meant - give me all your sweets.

If you refused - as I always did being protective of my polos, he would, like some ancient demagogue, give you a magnanimous choice - 50 biffs or a crusty.

50 biffs were 50 arm punches from this drooling silverback. A crusty was a knuckle-down punch on the top of the head. Few could stand more than 15 biffs before collapsing in agony upon the tarmac yard. A crusty downed even the most stalward detractor. I still have dints.

So, yes, out there in the wilds of Yorkshire, stalk knuckle draggers with pockets full of sweeties.

League is still better than union, but down here in the Midlands, I don't get much chance to watch owt else.

[The Atheist]

Classic!

I recall those kids. I even met up with one a few years ago, and while he was big at school, he stopped growing and only ended up at 5'9". I stared down at him from the extra five inches I tower above him by and asked if he'd hit any kids lately.

He just wandered away, saying nothing.

Some things are worth waiting 30 years for.

[jocky]

Guys, your childhood traumas are as nothing compared with mine, mere toys. I remember my first scrap at school, my opponent was nicknamed, The BONECRUSHER. When I finally regained conciousness and crawled slowly home at midnight, I looked at my old man through my one good eye and sobbed; ' father, life has got to be better than this. ' To which he replied, ' son we are merely competing atoms'. I said, ' But da, I don't want to be a competing atom, surely there must be some alternative. ' He replied ' Yes son, you could be a dead atom ' :)

[Paulclem]

Classic!

I recall those kids. I even met up with one a few years ago, and while he was big at school, he stopped growing and only ended up at 5'9". I stared down at him from the extra five inches I tower above him by and asked if he'd hit any kids lately.

He just wandered away, saying nothing.

Some things are worth waiting 30 years for.

That's great. Unfortunately for me, I'm only 5 9 too. It'd be touch and go whether history would repeat itself.

[jocky]

Any Italians around? I see they're at 250/1



I hear they are thinking of playing Berlesconi, apparently he can take a hit. :)


That's great. Unfortunately for me, I'm only 5 9 too.

In the land of Hobbits, he who is 5 9 is king. ;)

[The Atheist]

That's great. Unfortunately for me, I'm only 5 9 too. It'd be touch and go whether history would repeat itself.

Yeah, I got lucky!


I hear they are thinking of playing Berlesconi, apparently he can take a hit. :)

:lol:

[jocky]

Will someone go and check on Soundo, Gilliatt and Gbrekken ? I hope no one has offended anyone, everything said on this thread is tongue in cheek and what we call banter. You need to reappear folks. You know old Jocky gets lonely. :)

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

:lol:

We refer to some of them as "Rock Apes". The alpha male bloke-men who had beards when they were 12 and became fully grown over the summer holidays. They would return to school after the long hot summer and terrorise the neighbourhood of the playground. They could be tracked by the lines of spit they left behind them.

One such creature - Baz was his name - would assault our underdeveloped selves with the challenge

"Every spice on yer!" which meant - give me all your sweets.

If you refused - as I always did being protective of my polos, he would, like some ancient demagogue, give you a magnanimous choice - 50 biffs or a crusty.

50 biffs were 50 arm punches from this drooling silverback. A crusty was a knuckle-down punch on the top of the head. Few could stand more than 15 biffs before collapsing in agony upon the tarmac yard. A crusty downed even the most stalward detractor. I still have dints.

So, yes, out there in the wilds of Yorkshire, stalk knuckle draggers with pockets full of sweeties.

League is still better than union, but down here in the Midlands, I don't get much chance to watch owt else.

Paulclem,

That is a great story ! (green laughing smilie).
I suffered similar beatings throughout my formative years on the playground, but in my case it was knuckle dragging girls. (You can read about my tether ball incident posted a couple pages back)
Soon, I learned how to turn my allowance into a source of protection. I hired one of those knuckle dragging blokes as my bodyguard. He was forced to tangle with the tether ball hag that wrapped me around the pole. It was like the the War of the Gargantuas and looked something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNR_D3PluQs&feature=related



Will someone go and check on Soundo, Gilliatt and Gbrekken ? I hope no one has offended anyone, everything said on this thread is tongue in cheek and what we call banter. You need to reappear folks. You know old Jocky gets lonely. :)

Jocky,

I'm sorry for leaving you high and dry for so long. Trust me; after being beaten to a pulp by knuckle dragging tarts, there isn't much that anyone can do to offend or humilate me.
Lately, my job has been keeping me tied up during the week, so I try to pick up the slack over the weekends.

Thanks for checking up.

Gilliatt

[prendrelemick]

"Yer spice or yer life" was the mantra of our playground bandits. Their leader was dissappointingly called Martin.

Any way it never did me any harm........honest:brow:

[gbrekken]

Will someone go and check on Soundo, Gilliatt and Gbrekken ? I hope no one has offended anyone, everything said on this thread is tongue in cheek and what we call banter. You need to reappear folks. You know old Jocky gets lonely. :)

Alive and well and unoffended. the computer connection is being seriously offensive-hit or miss on getting on-line. I never had to worry about schoolyard bullies, what with eight older brothers. It's when I got home that I was scared!

[jocky]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNR_D3PluQs&feature=related




Jocky,

I'm sorry for leaving you high and dry for so long. Trust me; after being beaten to a pulp by knuckle dragging tarts, there isn't much that anyone can do to offend or humilate me.
Lately, my job has been keeping me tied up during the week, so I try to pick up the slack over the weekends.

Thanks for checking up.

Gilliatt

Atheist and Prendrelemick in their finest roles. Eat your hearts out Olivier and Gelguid. :)

About being beaten up by dubious women and then tied up all week, does it pay well? I was thinking about giving it a go, but only if the money is right. ;)


Their leader was dissappointingly called Martin.



Trust your school bully to be named Martin, I suspect a possible public school education here and I have narrowed it down to two establishments due to my unswerving powers of deduction. It was either Fettes or Gordonstoun as they are the only ones who accept Martins. :)


I never had to worry about schoolyard bullies, what with eight older brothers. It's when I got home that I was scared!

I bet you never rushed home from school. That is enough to give anyone a nervous twitch. :)

[gbrekken]

you got that right. I felt safer at hockey practice stopping pucks.

[prendrelemick]

You get a better class of bully at the better school. ( about 5 minites in )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4DFAxZXOFE&feature=related

[jocky]

John Terry and Wayne Bridge going for the same ball in the World Cup Final, with the score at 1-1, " After you Wayne; " fatal pause " Not at all John after you " Meanwhile the Brazilian Kaka slips in " Muchos Gracias " and it is 44 years of more hurt. :D


You get a better class of bully at the better school. ( about 5 minites in )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4DFAxZXOFE&feature=related

:) ' Thank you Bully ' Michael Palin at his brilliant best. Where would the Empire be without our public school geniuses? The rest of the world take note. Forgive me for the above comment Mick, I could not help myself. :D

[soundofmusic]

Will someone go and check on Soundo, Gilliatt and Gbrekken ? I hope no one has offended anyone, everything said on this thread is tongue in cheek and what we call banter. You need to reappear folks. You know old Jocky gets lonely. :)

:blush2: Oh, Jocky, you bring tears to these old eyes; I'm fine, enjoying sitting back and reading the banter between you lovely blokes. :cheers2:

[prendrelemick]

John Terry and Wayne Bridge going for the same ball in the World Cup Final, with the score at 1-1, " After you Wayne; " fatal pause " Not at all John after you " Meanwhile the Brazilian Kaka slips in " Muchos Gracias " and it is 44 years of more hurt. :D



This time Jocky your imagination has taken you too far.


World Cup Final indeed:biggrinjester:

[soundofmusic]

So it's Superbowl Sunday in sunny florida...the wives are running everyone off the road on the way to buy lagger, bean dip, nachos...all the things sure to give their men gas when they come to bed after midnight...

The men are all parked in front of their 62 inch color televisions; watching the cheerleaders and recaps of the last 10 years of football seasons and all the ex-con players...

Phermones are raging...all is well with the world...

[Paulclem]

The Superbowl here goes on until 4 o'clock am. I'd like to watch, but work beckons - can't you organise it so that it fits in with my half term holiday next time?:biggrinjester:

[jocky]

So it's Superbowl Sunday in sunny florida...the wives are running everyone off the road on the way to buy lagger, bean dip, nachos...all the things sure to give their men gas when they come to bed after midnight...

The men are all parked in front of their 62 inch color televisions; watching the cheerleaders and recaps of the last 10 years of football seasons and all the ex-con players...

Phermones are raging...all is well with the world...

We in Scotland are great fans of superbowl, in fact, our favourite saying is get the quarterback. The Jocky shackhold is all prepared for the event. I will be wearing my genuine snakeskin boots and ten gallon hat. The wife has whipped up the gaucamole and fiery pumpkin dips, followed by the jerk wings from hell and the chicken quesidilla pinwheels. The choice of beer was problematic, I was toying with going with the budweiser, but decided that was a concession to American culture I could not make, so I am sticking with the tennents. Soundo you better get a move on if you are going to be in time to lead out the cheerleaders. Oh when the saints go marching in.....:banana:

[prendrelemick]

Well I hope it is more entertaining than the weekend of kick 'n clap we have endured in dear old blighty.

[Paulclem]

Well I hope it is more entertaining than the weekend of kick 'n clap we have endured in dear old blighty.

Is it not worth watching on iplayer? I missed all the matches. Don't you think it's so much better since they've given in and gone professional? Lads like us from League land would be able to play with the toffs. :biggrinjester:

[The Atheist]

The evidence just keeps increasing that this is the best thread ever to have taken place in a discussion forum.

___________________________________________


Note the girly thread, languishing alone on page three of the titles, not having been posted in since 24/1.

[The Atheist]

And just to get off the subject of football, I was reading a great piece yesterday on "swinger" clubs, which was all news to me.

Apparently, Auckland has enough swinger clubs to tempt Tiger out of rehab.

Aside from the thought that, as a prospect, group sex had as little appeal as a fortnight of rotovirus, one very funny thing did come out of the "expert comments".

The bloke was saying that many marital problems start as a result of some bloke talking his Mrs into trying group/partner swap sex.

The biggest one was the woman suddenly realising what she was missing out on at home!

:lol:

[jocky]

___________________________________________


Note the girly thread, languishing alone on page three of the titles, not having been posted in since 24/1.

They are clearly going through a difficult period. :)

[The Atheist]

:lol:

Poor things!

***It's ok, sound, we count you as kind of an honorary bloke!***

[prendrelemick]

Is it not worth watching on iplayer? I missed all the matches. Don't you think it's so much better since they've given in and gone professional? Lads like us from League land would be able to play with the toffs. :biggrinjester:

They're bigger fitter and stronger now but lack the flair of yesteryear. Even the french are playing the percentages. John-Paul Rives must be spinning in his chateau.

I'd iplayer the Superleague Show instead, Wakey had a tight game against the Frenchies today.

[jocky]

:lol:

Poor things!

***It's ok, sound, we count you as kind of an honorary bloke!***

Wait a minute Atheist, Soundo has still to stand trial yet, remember her J*** D******S moment. How do you know she is not going to turn us in and start blethering about knitted matinee jackets and babies ? The quicker you get the committee up and running the better. We live in dangerous times, and I am getting worried. :skep:


They're bigger fitter and stronger now but lack the flair of yesteryear. Even the french are playing the percentages. John-Paul Rives must be spinning in his chateau.

I'd iplayer the Superleague Show instead, Wakey had a tight game against the Frenchies today.

O.K. Mick, you had to drag it out of me, the frogs beat us, end of story. :(

[The Atheist]

They're bigger fitter and stronger now but lack the flair of yesteryear.

Isn't that the worst thing of all? The athlete are more athletic, but they play a horrible hybrid game nobody;s managed to write the rules for coherently yet.


Wait a minute Atheist, Soundo has still to stand trial yet, remember her J*** D******S moment. How do you know she is not going to turn us in and start blethering about knitted matinee jackets and babies ? The quicker you get the committee up and running the better. We live in dangerous times, and I am getting worried. :skep:

Should we convene a jury? How many black balls do we have?


O.K. Mick, you had to drag it out of me, the frogs beat us, end of story. :(

You needed to have a bunch of Kiwis to remind Bastaretard about his antics over here to put him off his game.

But look on the bright side, England won!

Oh, that's not really a bright side, is it?

[soundofmusic]

And just to get off the subject of football, I was reading a great piece yesterday on "swinger" clubs, which was all news to me.
Apparently, Auckland has enough swinger clubs to tempt Tiger out of rehab.

Did you see the women Tiger talked into sleeping with him:out: they all had great :ciappa: IQ's; I heard he told them he was Baracks younger brother:iamwithstupid:


The Superbowl here goes on until 4 o'clock am. I'd like to watch, but work beckons - can't you organise it so that it fits in with my half term holiday next time?:biggrinjester:
We'll take up your request at the next commencement of the "Swingers Club minutes" :party:


We in Scotland are great fans of superbowl, in fact, our favourite saying is get the quarterback. The Jocky shackhold is all prepared for the event. I will be wearing my genuine snakeskin boots and ten gallon hat. The wife has whipped up the gaucamole and fiery pumpkin dips, followed by the jerk wings from hell and the chicken quesidilla pinwheels. The choice of beer was problematic, I was toying with going with the budweiser, but decided that was a concession to American culture I could not make, so I am sticking with the tennents. Soundo you better get a move on if you are going to be in time to lead out the cheerleaders. Oh when the saints go marching in.....:banana:
Despite the sounds from your pipes after that gastronomical fair; I doubt that Mrs. Jocky will be able to resist you in your sankeskin boots and hat. Be sure to use that line from Smokey and the Bandit, I only take off my hat for one thing:ihih:

Please, no Bud, even Americans only drink that when their on the skids. I'll buy all the blokes some good beer as soon as I get my cut from the saints...Yeah, they know it was me in my cheerleader outfit that won the game...:ack2: :prrr::frown2::nono:


:lol:

Poor things!

***It's ok, sound, we count you as kind of an honorary bloke!***

I'm touched and relieved. I was just overwhelmed on the girls thread; I couldn't figure out how to cut and paste purses on the web page...You can't be an honorary girl unless you can cut and paste:willy_nilly:


Wait a minute Atheist, Soundo has still to stand trial yet, remember her J*** D******S moment. How do you know she is not going to turn us in and start blethering about knitted matinee jackets and babies ? The quicker you get the committee up and running the better. We live in dangerous times, and I am getting worried. :skep:

(

No worries, Jocky. Only one thing on this womens mind at the moment:
I keep noticing that the football players are wet on the inside of their legs after a game; tonight, I noticed that all of that extra padding they wear was sagging on one or two of the gents....
So, tell me, do football players wear diapers during the game:confused:

[The Atheist]

Did you see the women Tiger talked into sleeping with him:out: they all had great :ciappa: IQ's; I heard he told them he was Baracks younger brother:iamwithstupid:

:lol:

I always figured celebrity-chasers were intelligent.


No worries, Jocky. Only one thing on this womens mind at the moment:
I keep noticing that the football players are wet on the inside of their legs after a game; tonight, I noticed that all of that extra padding they wear was sagging on one or two of the gents....
So, tell me, do football players wear diapers during the game:confused:

That's clearly an American thing - they wear all sorts of peculiar padding. It wouldn't surprise me if they wore trusses (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truss_(medicine)).

Rugby players go on the field with a jersey, shorts and mouthguard.

Some wear underpants as well.

[soundofmusic]

:lol:

I always figured celebrity-chasers were intelligent.



That's clearly an American thing - they wear all sorts of peculiar padding. It wouldn't surprise me if they wore trusses (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truss_(medicine)).

Rugby players go on the field with a jersey, shorts and mouthguard.

Some wear underpants as well.

Well, they're no doubt tougher than the American Lads; after all, in the states we have toilets in every shop, on every floor...one tackle after a bacon double cheeseburger and it's all over:ack2:

[gbrekken]

The Superbowl here goes on until 4 o'clock am. I'd like to watch, but work beckons - can't you organise it so that it fits in with my half term holiday next time?:biggrinjester:

Next year, Paulclem, you will have a guest teacher taking over you classes for a few days, so you can get in shape and timing to be awake for Betty White and Abe Vigoda doing a Snookers commercial. Mars company is not in the picture, however, when you begin the fund raising effort to actually get me there to replace you. I suggest sales of boxes of Cadbury, the ones with caramel inside. the second purchase will be New Zealand, but you'd better get a good grip (purchase) on it. Hershey's isn't out of the picture yet. T'would be nice to visit another country outside of the canoe trip I did.

I fear I'll avoid the "brevity is brother (bother) of brilliance" supposedly stated by George Steinbrenner, owner of the (cough) NY Yankees.


Is it not worth watching on iplayer? I missed all the matches. Don't you think it's so much better since they've given in and gone professional? Lads like us from League land would be able to play with the toffs. :biggrinjester:

toffs=professionals (people paid payola for performance)?



Note the girly thread, languishing alone on page three of the titles, not having been posted in since 24/1.

I don't think I'll even note that.


:lol:
***It's ok, sound, we count you as kind of an honorary bloke!***

She's honorable-I'll say that.



O.K. Mick, you had to drag it out of me, the frogs beat us, end of story. :(

frogs? six nations?




Should we convene a jury? How many black balls do we have?

Don't you mean blue balls?


sankeskin:

I hope that's not Sanka, decaf instant coffee. Jocky has skin on his snake? I always figured him for a raw man who doesn't need a shield on his hood, else he's in bed with the wrong woman.

Glad The Who performed decently. Guitar could've been louder, and Roger could've been able to scream like the old days, but such is naught.

My mom wouldn't let me go to Fargo ND to see Herman's Hermits in the summer of '69, stating that I was too young. The Who was just the back-up band in the days of smashing everything to bits when they were done playing with their toys. Guess they stole the show then.

Party in New Orleans won't end until Easter; to hell with Lent!!!!

[The Atheist]

Glad The Who performed decently. Guitar could've been louder, and Roger could've been able to scream like the old days, but such is naught.

I can't quite get my head around all these old acts touring.

Even Fleetwood Mac are touring.

[soundofmusic]

I hope that's not Sanka, decaf instant coffee. Jocky has skin on his snake? I always figured him for a raw man who doesn't need a shield on his hood, else he's in bed with the wrong woman.
Glad The Who performed decently. Guitar could've been louder, and Roger could've been able to scream like the old days, but such is naught.

My mom wouldn't let me go to Fargo ND to see Herman's Hermits in the summer of '69, stating that I was too young. The Who was just the back-up band in the days of smashing everything to bits when they were done playing with their toys. Guess they stole the show then.


I've asked Jocky to loan me those snakeskin boots to go with my little leather outfit when I go to the next Who concert. This time, I hear they're going to play it like all the stars did in the old days: via record. Yep, We'll be "Seeing them, hearing them...and after the show...touching them and feeling them...:party:

I can't quite get my head around all these old acts touring.

Even Fleetwood Mac are touring.

It always really makes me sad to see all of my idols aging like I am; and I hate hearing my favorite songs going down an octave or those back up girls singing all the high notes..:bigear::nopity:

[Paulclem]

We'll take up your request at the next commencement of the "Swingers Club minutes" - Soundof...

Merci... or do I mean mercy....:biggrinjester:

Next year, Paulclem, you will have a guest teacher taking over you classes for a few days, so you can get in shape and timing to be awake for Betty White and Abe Vigoda doing a Snookers commercial. Mars company is not in the picture, however, when you begin the fund raising effort to actually get me there to replace you. I suggest sales of boxes of Cadbury, the ones with caramel inside. the second purchase will be New Zealand, but you'd better get a good grip (purchase) on it. Hershey's isn't out of the picture yet. T'would be nice to visit another country outside of the canoe trip I did.

Thanks gbrekken - they might have a proper teacher for a while.

Do you want paying in chocolate? We have plenty of pound shops here - enough to fill any chocoholic's desire. Pound shops? Do you have dollar shops?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Here goes my best Gbrekken impersonation:

Olivier and Gelguid are gargantuan in the cinematic world, while Martin bullies Oscar for recognition. Meanwhile, back in the sunshine state, a Tiger lurks in the woods, pursuing Barack’s better half at a therapeutic pancake shop. In the meantime, Frankenstein is up at 4:00 am in the Big Easy sitting in an empty coffee shop, where no boys are allowed, watching a game that uses a rugby ball that has been on the South Beach diet. A forlorn Jocky sits in a super bowl polishing snakeskin boots with a corner of his kilt wondering if Mick, a Cadbury connoisseur, will bring his quarter back.

Lindsey Buckingham is eating a big Mac while riding in Stevie’s Fleetwood. Outside the car, he hears the Sound of Music that turns out to be the Saint’s marching in.

This is followed by the eternal question…. “Who’s Next ?”

It'll never do...better leave it to the master.

[The Atheist]

I've asked Jocky to loan me those snakeskin boots to go with my little leather outfit when I go to the next Who concert.

GRRRRR!


It always really makes me sad to see all of my idols aging like I am;

Meatloaf is the worst. I loved that man.

Then I heard him sing recently. What a lifetime of debauchery does to a voice...

[soundofmusic]

Gosh, Gbrekken, didn't even notice I misspelled snake:blush2:
Are you serious, The Who backed up "I'm Henry 8....:confused:

[QUOTE=Paulclem;842715]We'll take up your request at the next commencement of the "Swingers Club minutes" - Soundof...

Merci... or do I mean mercy....:biggrinjester:

Do you want paying in chocolate? We have plenty of pound shops here - enough to fill any chocoholic's desire. Pound shops? Do you have dollar shops?

I guess you'll have to rely on Gbrekkens connections; soundos givin' up swingin' for chocolate:leaving:


Here goes my best Gbrekken impersonation:

Olivier and Gelguid are gargantuan in the cinematic world, while Martin bullies Oscar for recognition. Meanwhile, back in the sunshine state, a Tiger lurks in the woods, pursuing Barack’s better half at a therapeutic pancake shop. In the meantime, Frankenstein is up at 4:00 am in the Big Easy sitting in an empty coffee shop, where no boys are allowed, watching a game that uses a rugby ball that has been on the South Beach diet. A forlorn Jocky sits in a super bowl polishing snakeskin boots with a corner of his kilt wondering if Mick, a Cadbury connoisseur, will bring his quarter back.

Lindsey Buckingham is eating a big Mac while riding in Stevie’s Fleetwood. Outside the car, he hears the Sound of Music that turns out to be the Saint’s marching in.

This is followed by the eternal question…. “Who’s Next ?”

It'll never do...better leave it to the master.
Well, it's not the G-man; but it's darned impressive:thumbsup:


GRRRRR!



Meatloaf is the worst. I loved that man.

Then I heard him sing recently. What a lifetime of debauchery does to a voice...

I think he was headed for trouble when he picked his name; but, what was it with people in those days: bugs :ack2: undesirable food items :sick: a cadillacs willy...:driving:
Now the who...yeah, I like that...they were thinking ahead...:smilielol5:

[prendrelemick]

Here goes my best Gbrekken impersonation:

Olivier and Gelguid are gargantuan in the cinematic world, while Martin bullies Oscar for recognition. Meanwhile, back in the sunshine state, a Tiger lurks in the woods, pursuing Barack’s better half at a therapeutic pancake shop. In the meantime, Frankenstein is up at 4:00 am in the Big Easy sitting in an empty coffee shop, where no boys are allowed, watching a game that uses a rugby ball that has been on the South Beach diet. A forlorn Jocky sits in a super bowl polishing snakeskin boots with a corner of his kilt wondering if Mick, a Cadbury connoisseur, will bring his quarter back.

Lindsey Buckingham is eating a big Mac while riding in Stevie’s Fleetwood. Outside the car, he hears the Sound of Music that turns out to be the Saint’s marching in.

This is followed by the eternal question…. “Who’s Next ?”

It'll never do...better leave it to the master.

Nice try, but you lack incoherence :lol:

[soundofmusic]

Nice try, but you lack incoherence :lol:

Actually, I realized when prendrelemick was trying the Gmans language; it is actually similar to the newspaper jargon of the 30s and 40s...We have a journalist in our midst; we just don't speak the language:seeya:

[gbrekken]

I was in Coherence once. Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there, as there was no room for imagining things that didn't exist. I couldn't even pick up social skills; even she shot me down.

[jocky]

What is going on, I leave the thread for two minutes and everyone goes insane? Certain members who, shall remain nameless, (you know who you are) start speaking in tongues and the world is turned on it's head. It is time to introduce some sanity. Frogs: a term of endearment for the French, who put the coward into cowardice. The six nations: a rugby union tournament played between Scotland, England, Ireland, Wales, France and Italy. I would explain the rules of the game, but unfortunately no one understands them, least of all the referees. By the way, who won the superbowl? I got pissed and fell asleep, and some swine stole my snakeskin boots and ten gallon hat. :(

[jocky]

I couldn't even pick up social skills

Gbrekken, you are not alone, that S.S. always played hard to get, but with your grasp of coherence and my lack of common sense, between us, how could she resist? ::ladysman:

[prendrelemick]

Well good luck with that you two. I've been trying to pick up her sister, Typing for years, my fingering skills won't pass mustard, or any other condominium.
For Athiest, I don't include the All Blacks in my scathements of RU, they are worth watching. (Note to Parker, RU is not text for "Are You," leave the black balls at rest.)

[soundofmusic]

I was in Coherence once. Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there, as there was no room for imagining things that didn't exist. I couldn't even pick up social skills; even she shot me down.

Well, g, story is you have a really huge imagination. Now with social, you can only pick her up when she's leaving the bar.


What is going on, I leave the thread for two minutes and everyone goes insane? Certain members who, shall remain nameless, (you know who you are) start speaking in tongues and the world is turned on it's head. It is time to introduce some sanity. Frogs: a term of endearment for the French, who put the coward into cowardice. The six nations: a rugby union tournament played between Scotland, England, Ireland, Wales, France and Italy. I would explain the rules of the game, but unfortunately no one understands them, least of all the referees. By the way, who won the superbowl? I got pissed and fell asleep, and some swine stole my snakeskin boots and ten gallon hat. :(

As you predicted, the Saints. Thank you for the loan of your boots and hat. The boys stole them from me during the naked bull running, following the superbowl party. The hat got stomped on and the boots: well, suffice to say they could use dry cleaning...I'll send the minatures and what's left of the hat back soon.


Well good luck with that you two. I've been trying to pick up her sister, Typing for years, my fingering skills won't pass mustard, or any other condominium.
For Athiest, I don't include the All Blacks in my scathements of RU, they are worth watching. (Note to Parker, RU is not text for "Are You," leave the black balls at rest.)
Oh no, Not typing skills, she's the ugliest of the lot. I went to grade school with her; they used to put a flour sack over her head and turn her around on picture day.

[gbrekken]

i'll be back, or front, but only later.

too much fodder only feeds the animals, not the fire.

p.s. it's pass muster, not gas. :)

[prendrelemick]

I hope the boys kept a tight rein on their Offensive Tackle at the party Sounds.

[soundofmusic]

I hope the boys kept a tight rein on their Offensive Tackle at the party Sounds.

I'll tell you, Prendrelemick, team play is not what it used to be. I was over on the side lines enjoying a few fruity drinks and talking to a fruity bartender. Next thing I know, I was tackled by a huge bloke, he knew what he wanted, he was sweaty and I could smell the Heineken and cherry blend on his breath...dare I resist...dare I risk a night of passion...:drool5:

Next thing I knew, off came the boots and the ten gallon hat; bloke and accessories were out the door before I knew what hit me :leaving::dupe: :sad:

[prendrelemick]

Let that be a lesson for you, Keep your boots on, on every conceivable occasion.:hand:

[soundofmusic]

Let that be a lesson for you, Keep your boots on, on every conceivable occasion.:hand:

:dupe: So true, I had my cash and keys in Jockys right boot (most girls carry it up top; but I didn't want to look lop-sided) I wound up hot-wiring somebodys ferrari, smashing through a gate on miami beach...next morning I woke up with the remainder of the BeeGees and a lost Who:frown2:

[jocky]

Thank you for the loan of your boots and hat.




Soundo, I don't quite know how to tell you this, it is all very embarassing, I suffer from athlete's foot and headlice, two highly infectious ailments. Not to worry, my doctor has advised me that with the right, expensive treatment you should be cured in a month or two. :)

[The Atheist]

God, and there was me thinking the one piece of clothing you needed to be really concerned about was the sporran!

Funny you should mention head lice, because it's a hot topic in my house right now.

When I was a kid, the only people with head lice were those fresh off a refugee boat, or actually resident in some third world place. On the rare occasion a kid was found with head lice, teams of former Nazi wardresses dressed as nurses would scalp every kid within a 10km radius to ensure they didn't spread.

Nowadays, we get a letter from the school every couple of weeks reminding parents that head lice infestations are common and to actually wash and check kids' hair every now and then.

I think this is actually a subclause of the question, "Why are 21st century parents so bloody useless?"

[Paulclem]

God, and there was me thinking the one piece of clothing you needed to be really concerned about was the sporran!

Funny you should mention head lice, because it's a hot topic in my house right now.

When I was a kid, the only people with head lice were those fresh off a refugee boat, or actually resident in some third world place. On the rare occasion a kid was found with head lice, teams of former Nazi wardresses dressed as nurses would scalp every kid within a 10km radius to ensure they didn't spread.

Nowadays, we get a letter from the school every couple of weeks reminding parents that head lice infestations are common and to actually wash and check kids' hair every now and then.

I think this is actually a subclause of the question, "Why are 21st century parents so bloody useless?"

Start a scabies infestation in the school. Perhps they'll lump the nasty, infectious ailments togeher and do a whole school fumigation/ cream rub. You'd need to be careful who gets into that particular party. Certainly no boots/ ten gallon hat people.

[jocky]

Funny you should mention head lice, because it's a hot topic in my house right now.



I think this is actually a subclause of the question, "Why are 21st century parents so bloody useless?"

That is karma Atheist, Jocky has his finger on the pulse of all the contemporary issues.

That question deserves a thread in its own right. I can only answer for me and the wife in saying our kids have told us we are ' bloody useless ' for years. Perhaps it may have something to do with the modern psychology of encouraging our children to speak their minds. My old mans right hook tended to stifle debate. :)


Start a scabies infestation in the school. Perhps they'll lump the nasty, infectious ailments togeher and do a whole school fumigation/ cream rub. You'd need to be careful who gets into that particular party. Certainly no boots/ ten gallon hat people.

You forgot to mention impetigo and rickets, which are still thriving in Scotland. It must have something to do with our misty glens, shortbread, haggis and buckfast. Good to hear from you Paulcelm. :)

[Paulclem]

That is karma Atheist, Jocky has his finger on the pulse of all the contemporary issues.

That question deserves a thread in its own right. I can only answer for me and the wife in saying our kids have told us we are ' bloody useless ' for years. Perhaps it may have something to do with the modern psychology of encouraging our children to speak their minds. My old mans right hook tended to stifle debate. :)

:D

We all - sisters and brothers - have a family nose - broken by the old! man.:biggrinjester:

It's nice to be back Jocky.

I must say this is a very pleasant thread. Can get a bit heated out there in the pit.

[jocky]

:D

Can get a bit heated out there in the pit.

That is the understatement of the century. I have to admit to causing a lot of the touble out there in literary land. It can get a bit heated here at times as well, and I take my share of the blame, but what else can you expect from an illiterate jock ? We are all buddies here, well mostly. I will have to speak with Atheist about rule 23, paragraph 12, addendum 32, where it clearly states; No two Yorkshiremen will be allowed on the thread simultaneously. :)

[The Atheist]

Start a scabies infestation in the school. Perhps they'll lump the nasty, infectious ailments togeher and do a whole school fumigation/ cream rub. You'd need to be careful who gets into that particular party. Certainly no boots/ ten gallon hat people.

Nah, not even that would work.

The Sikhs boys and the Muslim girls aren't allowed to remove their headgear and we're very culturally sensitive about that kind of stuff over here.

Makes me want to move to France!


You forgot to mention impetigo and rickets, which are still thriving in Scotland.

Impetigo!

That's another blast from the past. Jesus, a kid with impetigo could expect to be sent straight to the district nurse, bundled up in antibiotics and chained to his/her bed until non-infectious. And rickets! That was eradicated in the 1970s.

Am I having deja vu or has the world just gone nuts?

Maybe both!


No two Yorkshiremen will be allowed on the thread simultaneously. :)

Parker had that one rescinded.

I'm sure he has a quiet predilection for pork scratchings and has been got at!

[prendrelemick]

This thread has now been swamped by cures for various infestations, courtesy of google ads.
I remember the visits of the Nit Nurse to our class, resulting in a lucky few being sent home with a discreet letter and a bottle of something resembling sheep dip.

I've always found pork scratchings ideal for greasing palms and Pontefract Cakes make an excellent sweetener. However parker remains impervious to food related incentives. He is the best administrator money can buy.

[jocky]

Before you start Mick, we managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The biggest comedy of errors it has been my misfortune to witness. They will be rolling in laughter in the valleys tonight, it is enough to drive you to drink. :(

[The Atheist]

This thread has now been swamped by cures for various infestations, courtesy of google ads.

Classic! Great spot - I wouldn't have noticed, but scrolling up showed me ads for anal itching and ringworm!.

Now that I've said that, we'll have some more.

:lol:

The power of Google.


I've always found pork scratchings ideal for greasing palms and Pontefract Cakes make an excellent sweetener. However parker remains impervious to food related incentives. He is the best administrator money can buy.

Ah. That explains his driving a new Roller on a salary of ten pound a week.


Before you start Mick, we managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The biggest comedy of errors it has been my misfortune to witness. They will be rolling in laughter in the valleys tonight, it is enough to drive you to drink. :(

Ugh, I hate games like that. I once had $50 to win on Bay of Plenty to beat Auckland at $10. They were 14 up with five minutes to play and gave up three tries in five minutes to lose by 7.

Mind you, at least I hadn't lost to Wales!

That's one of those black holes with no escape.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...Impetigo!

That's another blast from the past. Jesus, a kid with impetigo could expect to be sent straight to the district nurse, bundled up in antibiotics and chained to his/her bed until non-infectious. And rickets! That was eradicated in the 1970s.

Am I having deja vu or has the world just gone nuts?

Maybe both!



This thread has now been swamped by cures for various infestations, courtesy of google ads.
I remember the visits of the Nit Nurse to our class, resulting in a lucky few being sent home with a discreet letter and a bottle of something resembling sheep dip.



Have you noticed how all the great classical names for ailments have become “syndromes”?
Such as:

“RLS” (restless leg syndrome) - Used to be known as the nervous jitters. For example when one is nervously awaiting their obligatory beat down by the playground girls.

“IBS” (irritable bowel syndrome) – We used to say: “dude, quit eating so many beans and cabbage and stand on my leeward side!”

“TWS” (Tiger Woods Syndrome) – THIS IS NO JOKE. I was heading into work and heard a commercial for a law firm comprised of all women. The add was aimed at women who, and I quote…”Is your marriage suffering from Tiger Woods Syndrome…?”

I enjoyed the "sheep dip" reference Prendrelemick.
My parent's cure for just about anything you could imagine was either generic pet salve, Campho-Phenique or 409 household cleaner.

[Paulclem]

Have you noticed how all the great classical names for ailments have become “syndromes”?
Such as:

“RLS” (restless leg syndrome) - Used to be known as the nervous jitters. For example when one is nervously awaiting their obligatory beat down by the playground girls.

“IBS” (irritable bowel syndrome) – We used to say: “dude, quit eating so many beans and cabbage and stand on my leeward side!”

“TWS” (Tiger Woods Syndrome) – THIS IS NO JOKE. I was heading into work and heard a commercial for a law firm comprised of all women. The add was aimed at women who, and I quote…”Is your marriage suffering from Tiger Woods Syndrome…?”

I enjoyed the "sheep dip" reference Prendrelemick.
My parent's cure for just about anything you could imagine was either generic pet salve, Campho-Phenique or 409 household cleaner.

My wife says I have restless leg syndrome, but I supect it's just another excuse to knuckle me in the ribs.

She says I have lots of syndromes..

[soundofmusic]

Soundo, I don't quite know how to tell you this, it is all very embarassing, I suffer from athlete's foot and headlice, two highly infectious ailments. Not to worry, my doctor has advised me that with the right, expensive treatment you should be cured in a month or two. :)

:sad: And I've been wondering why the Beegees won't return my calls; they asked me to do alittle naked back walking for their "syndromes":ciappa:


God, and there was me thinking the one piece of clothing you needed to be really concerned about was the sporran!

Funny you should mention head lice, because it's a hot topic in my house right now.

When I was a kid, the only people with head lice were those fresh off a refugee boat, or actually resident in some third world place. On the rare occasion a kid was found with head lice, teams of former Nazi wardresses dressed as nurses would scalp every kid within a 10km radius to ensure they didn't spread.

Nowadays, we get a letter from the school every couple of weeks reminding parents that head lice infestations are common and to actually wash and check kids' hair every now and then.

I think this is actually a subclause of the question, "Why are 21st century parents so bloody useless?"

The first couple of times I got those letters asking me to look for a louse; I hopped in the car and tracked down the ex :auto: sent my daughter back to school the next day and got a second dirty letter.:nono:
What do you say to the children, "now dear, don't play beautyshop with the girls, don't let any adorable boys show how strong they are by picking you up.
Of course, the kids love it, It's the parents who have to take off work; go buy that awful shampoo and hear the child cry; go to the health department where you just know you are going to pick up a number of infectious disease while waiting:ack2:


Start a scabies infestation in the school. Perhps they'll lump the nasty, infectious ailments togeher and do a whole school fumigation/ cream rub. You'd need to be careful who gets into that particular party. Certainly no boots/ ten gallon hat people.[/QUOTE

Now that's not fair, I was going to get a free body gel and shampoo at the school.
I used to notice all of these 7 year olds in the neighborhood with dyed hair; I
thought, "My goodness, children are certainly precocious nowdays". A friend recently said they dye their grandchildrens hair to get rid of lice; it's milder than the lice formulas...Ooo, I'm feeling gross after all that talk of bugs:sick:

[QUOTE=Gilliatt Gurgle;845898]Have you noticed how all the great classical names for ailments have become “syndromes”?
Such as:

“RLS” (restless leg syndrome) - Used to be known as the nervous jitters. For example when one is nervously awaiting their obligatory beat down by the playground girls.

“IBS” (irritable bowel syndrome) – We used to say: “dude, quit eating so many beans and cabbage and stand on my leeward side!”

“TWS” (Tiger Woods Syndrome) – THIS IS NO JOKE. I was heading into work and heard a commercial for a law firm comprised of all women. The add was aimed at women who, and I quote…”Is your marriage suffering from Tiger Woods Syndrome…?”

I enjoyed the "sheep dip" reference Prendrelemick.
My parent's cure for just about anything you could imagine was either generic pet salve, Campho-Phenique or 409 household cleaner.

God, the little wanker actually has his own syndrome now...disgraceful:goof:
I imagine you would get restless legs if you had irritable bowels:lol:


My wife says I have restless leg syndrome, but I supect it's just another excuse to knuckle me in the ribs.

She says I have lots of syndromes..

I was married to a fellow with restless leg syndrome, the bed vibrated all night...

[jocky]

While we are on the subject of nits, whoever started that one? I have to relate a tale of abject cruelty. It used to be my wont to explain confidently to the wife and kids that despite my poor background I had never suffered from that despicable disease, as nits never invaded clean hair, big mistake. One day, to my horror, the missus said the dreaded letter had arrived from school and explained patiently that the whole household had to be treated. Despite my protests I had to sit down and be scourged by the dreaded nit comb, I am sure she raked it through my scalp harder than was necessary. She pronounced, in a doomladen tone, that I was infected and the sheep dip treatment was unavoidable. Imagine my shock in the morning when I asked the kids if they had been treated and they replied, what are you on about da? The moral being no one is immune and my wife is fit for me. :)

[The Atheist]

“TWS” (Tiger Woods Syndrome) – THIS IS NO JOKE. I was heading into work and heard a commercial for a law firm comprised of all women. The add was aimed at women who, and I quote…”Is your marriage suffering from Tiger Woods Syndrome…?”

I think lots of blokes wish they were rich enough to afford one of those.


I was married to a fellow with restless leg syndrome, the bed vibrated all ight...

Some people would think that's a good thing.


The moral being no one is immune and my wife is fit for me. :)

Go bald!

No hair = no lice. I blame Propecia!

[soundofmusic]

While we are on the subject of nits, whoever started that one? I have to relate a tale of abject cruelty. It used to be my wont to explain confidently to the wife and kids that despite my poor background I had never suffered from that despicable disease, as nits never invaded clean hair, big mistake. One day, to my horror, the missus said the dreaded letter had arrived from school and explained patiently that the whole household had to be treated. Despite my protests I had to sit down and be scourged by the dreaded nit comb, I am sure she raked it through my scalp harder than was necessary. She pronounced, in a doomladen tone, that I was infected and the sheep dip treatment was unavoidable. Imagine my shock in the morning when I asked the kids if they had been treated and they replied, what are you on about da? The moral being no one is immune and my wife is fit for me. :)

It's true, Jocky, no ones immune; the critters jump...:iagree:
I had a very hairy friend who always wore suits. I suppose he liked to get a few days wear from them (as they had to be dry cleaned). One day I saw him on the beach and every inch of him was shaven (except the top of his head); he explained his wife "just wanted to see if it improved their lovemaking....:icon_bs:


I think lots of blokes wish they were rich enough to afford one of those.


I hear theres a new one, "Tiger Woods Alimony Syndrome":nopity::incazzato:

[gbrekken]

new infestations? watched a bit of some frogs (not TCU) pounding some potatoes in the ground yesterday (courtesy BBC). I picked up a bit of humor at the bar the night before last. She wasn't good looking but did laugh at everything I said. Definition of a good day: beer, beer, more beer, Daytona 500, and women's ice hockey; plus more beer. Hairless is good, eh?

[prendrelemick]

Aye, it was potato planting time in paris yesterday.

And what a revelation in Cardiff. Who said the Scots are tight-fisted, I've never seen 15 more generous men in one place together.

We managed to catch scabies once, it was the most erotic time of our marriage ever, we couldn't wait to throw our clothes off and scratch each other all over. I was almost sorry the lotion worked.

[jocky]

The last word on headlice, I promise. The French came up with a novel cure for nits, the guillotine. After an experiment in 1792 a survey showed that out of all aristocrats treated, not one complained of the disease. :)


Aye, it was potato planting time in paris yesterday.

And what a revelation in Cardiff. Who said the Scots are tight-fisted, I've never seen 15 more generous men in one place together.

We managed to catch scabies once, it was the most erotic time of our marriage ever, we couldn't wait to throw our clothes off and scratch each other all over. I was almost sorry the lotion worked.

Alas, we managed to downsize our team from 15 to 13 at the crucial time. The Italians come close to lowering your flag today, but as usual the Gods were on the side of St George.

:lol: Different strokes for different folks, custard and peach slices usually does it for us, a bit more refined than scabies I would suggest. :)

Postscript, you know that warm glow on a Sunday morning when you have roughed up the bed and are enjoying a cigarette. The wife turns to you and says, " imagine if we won ten million on the lottery, " and you reply carelessly " Darling I would have to leave the blokes thread. " She whispers in my ear, " is that because of the begging letters ? " Short pause, " No, we will still keep writing them. " :lol:

[soundofmusic]

new infestations? watched a bit of some frogs (not TCU) pounding some potatoes in the ground yesterday (courtesy BBC). I picked up a bit of humor at the bar the night before last. She wasn't good looking but did laugh at everything I said. Definition of a good day: beer, beer, more beer, Daytona 500, and women's ice hockey; plus more beer. Hairless is good, eh?

So was Ms. Humor a potato pounding frog before you slept with her and turned her into a laughing lass? :troll:
Personally, for me, I prefer hair on a mans head and close trimming everywhere else.:ihih: I wouldn't mind hair on the body if it had some balanced distribution; but on some men it looks like they fell into a 5 year olds paste and hair project:smilielol5:



We managed to catch scabies once, it was the most erotic time of our marriage ever, we couldn't wait to throw our clothes off and scratch each other all over. I was almost sorry the lotion worked.
You fellas certainly have loving spouses; I've never met a louse I've wanted to live with or massage with lotion:yikes:


The last word on headlice, I promise. The French came up with a novel cure for nits, the guillotine. After an experiment in 1792 a survey showed that out of all aristocrats treated, not one complained of the disease. :):thumbsup:




:lol: Different strokes for different folks, custard and peach slices usually does it for us, a bit more refined than scabies I would suggest. :)

Have you ever tried butterscotch pudding with peaches :drool5:


Postscript, you know that warm glow on a Sunday morning when you have roughed up the bed and are enjoying a cigarette. The wife turns to you and says, " imagine if we won ten million on the lottery, " and you reply carelessly " Darling I would have to leave the blokes thread. " She whispers in my ear, " is that because of the begging letters ? " Short pause, " No, we will still keep writing them. " :lol:

Jocky, I just realized; we haven't had a good outcry for cash in ages...:spam:

[jocky]

So was Ms. Humor a potato pounding frog before you slept with her and turned her into a laughing lass? :troll:
Personally, for me, I prefer hair on a mans head and close trimming everywhere else.:ihih: I wouldn't mind hair on the body if it had some balanced distribution; but on some men it looks like they fell into a 5 year olds paste and hair project:smilielol5:

:

I love Gbrekken, unfortunately he is a bit of an obscanturist, I got the rugby reference and the frog which is not a lizard , which is not a frog unless it mutates from the Christan, something or other from Texas. Apparently he had off with a funny woman who likes beer and fast cars. I reckon he knows what he is talking about, and one day he will share it with the rest of us. Gilliat you are the only man in planet Cold Ale who can enlighten us, I wont hold my breath. :lol:

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I love Gbrekken, unfortunately he is a bit of an obscanturist, I got the rugby reference and the frog which is not a lizard , which is not a frog unless it mutates from the Christan, something or other from Texas. Apparently he had off with a funny woman who likes beer and fast cars. I reckon he knows what he is talking about, and one day he will share it with the rest of us. Gilliat you are the only man in planet Cold Ale who can enlighten us, I wont hold my breath. :lol:

Believe me I'm trying !!
This "Gbrekken speak" really has me stumped. You saw my last experiement a couple pages back that blew up in my face. It has taken more than a week to scrub the suit off the walls, beakers and tubes.
Perhaps a little white lightning will help with my ability to interpret. I'm heading back to the lab. In the meantime enjoy this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ggkrk5InCR0

Gilliatt

[jocky]

Believe me I'm trying !!
This "Gbrekken speak" really has me stumped. You saw my last experiement a couple pages back that blew up in my face. It has taken more than a week to scrub the suit off the walls, beakers and tubes.
Perhaps a little white lightning will help with my ability to interpret. I'm heading back to the lab. In the meantime enjoy this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ggkrk5InCR0

Gilliatt

Thank goodness, a bit of reality reintroduced to the thread, a band backed by three Elvis impressionists and a baldy dude. Atheist will be so relieved, how are things going in the dreery beery? Gilly, I know you like the olden videos, please tell me you are not going to post the scene from the Yellow Rose of Texas, where an Irishman crosses the ocean swimming backwards " with an anvil on me chest " :lol:

[soundofmusic]

Believe me I'm trying !!
This "Gbrekken speak" really has me stumped. You saw my last experiement a couple pages back that blew up in my face. It has taken more than a week to scrub the suit off the walls, beakers and tubes.
Perhaps a little white lightning will help with my ability to interpret. I'm heading back to the lab. In the meantime enjoy this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ggkrk5InCR0

Gilliatt

Love it Gilliatt, Now I can understand why Tammy stood by her man; he was cute in the day:ladysman::nopity:

[prendrelemick]

Here is the last word on the Rugby this weekend
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8515002.stm

Note the inappropriate sponsor name on his shirt.

[jocky]

Here is the last word on the Rugby this weekend
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8515002.stm

Note the inappropriate sponsor name on his shirt.

Any excuse to get me Mick, well this has not gone unnoticed in Jockland. We have a big date coming up which I know we may not win, but we will cripple Johnny Wilkinson, forever. The battlefield is being shaped as we speak, Atheist and the gang, it is time to pick sides, do you really want scabies supporters or a custard and sliced peaches man to win. Perfidious Albion or honest Scotland , friendship goes out the window in this one. Grrrr :)

[soundofmusic]

I love Gbrekken, unfortunately he is a bit of an obscanturist, I got the rugby reference and the frog which is not a lizard , which is not a frog unless it mutates from the Christan, something or other from Texas. Apparently he had off with a funny woman who likes beer and fast cars. I reckon he knows what he is talking about, and one day he will share it with the rest of us. Gilliat you are the only man in planet Cold Ale who can enlighten us, I wont hold my breath. :lol:

Gracious Jocky, your education transverses the whole globe...How do you do it man:thumbs_up

[gbrekken]

Loved the reverence to the origin of NASCAR, (not unlike "rum-runners"), but I'm not sure even the speaker knew what he was saying :). The race was a loser, due to track failure that had the cars sitting for hours. I could never go that fast-I backed off under 160, partially due to the fact that I had the kids and a nephew in the car.
Having your own language makes you unique, just like everyone else.
flattery O'connnor and Jimmy joy juice went into a bar, ordered a shot of the best local stuff, and asked the barkeep if they'd heard the new joke about Timbuktu. The bartender's neck veins flared wide and red, and then he said "look mister, I'm from Timbuktu; the four guys at the end of the bar, they're from Timbuktu; the two big guys shooting pool, they're from Timbuktu, and so are the foursome throwing darts". At which flattery replied"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll go real slow". And then the fight started. Later that night flattery got home, and while soaking, and licking his wounds, and chilling one eye with a cold steak, was watching television. The wife gets home and asks him what's on the telly. To which he replied "dust". And then the fight started. Add on at will.

[prendrelemick]

Any excuse to get me Mick, well this has not gone unnoticed in Jockland. We have a big date coming up which I know we may not win, but we will cripple Johnny Wilkinson, forever. The battlefield is being shaped as we speak, Atheist and the gang, it is time to pick sides, do you really want scabies supporters or a custard and sliced peaches man to win. Perfidious Albion or honest Scotland , friendship goes out the window in this one. Grrrr :)

I say old chap, you scotch Johnnies are taking this awfully seriously.

[jocky]

Having your own language makes you unique, just like everyone else.


:lol: The highest compliment I can pay you is you are harder work than the Times crossword.


Gracious Jocky, your education transverses the whole globe...How do you do it man:thumbs_up

Google :)


I say old chap, you scotch Johnnies are taking this awfully seriously.

Our history of failure makes us defensive. Just because we are paranoid it does not mean you are not out to get us. :lol:

[Paulclem]

Our history of failure makes us defensive. Just because we are paranoid it does not mean you are not out to get us. :lol:

There is some merit in consistency. Consider the emotional rollercoaster of the average England fan - football or rugby.

There's usually a win or two, just to get the hopes up, and then comes the crushing defeat/ humiliation/ last gasp penalty shootout. All that emotion, all that rah rah raaaaahing for nothing. You can smell the disappointment as you hear flags hung from local windows being unceremoniously torn down... again.

:beatdeadhorse5: :banghead: :nopity:

Good choice of emoticons these days.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Loved the reverence to the origin of NASCAR, (not unlike "rum-runners"),...
...The wife gets home and asks him what's on the telly. To which he replied "dust". And then the fight started. Add on at will.

OK Gbrekken, I'm game-
"add on at"... will...the wife insist that the rum runner, a pre cursor to NASCAR, allow his two week old Kolache and near empty bottle of Wild Turkey remain in its customary position on the bookshelf? She insists that the shelf needs dusting along with the old Zenith.

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/For%20the%20Sonata/IMG_1406.jpg

Gilliatt

[jocky]

There is some merit in consistency. Consider the emotional rollercoaster of the average England fan - football or rugby.

There's usually a win or two, just to get the hopes up, and then comes the crushing defeat/ humiliation/ last gasp penalty shootout. All that emotion, all that rah rah raaaaahing for nothing. You can smell the disappointment as you hear flags hung from local windows being unceremoniously torn down... again.



At least you get a win or two and a whiff, however temporary, of the sweet smell of success. I had a horrible dream vision of a big wooden spoon winging its way Northwards beyond the dales and landing smack bang in my porridge. A Scottish Prime Minister and he can't fix the six nations for us, even coming fifth would be some consolation. :(

[soundofmusic]

Google :)

Ah, but you still have to first know the right question:goof:

[The Atheist]

Any time you're having a bad day, a quick glance in here soon removes the gloom!

Daughter has come home from school with norovirus today - speaking of infestations...


Note the inappropriate sponsor name on his shirt.

:lol:

Brilliant!

I always liked those Pommy ones when O2 sponsored them. The series result printed on their shirts, 0 -2.


Any excuse to get me Mick, well this has not gone unnoticed in Jockland. We have a big date coming up which I know we may not win, but we will cripple Johnny Wilkinson, forever. The battlefield is being shaped as we speak, Atheist and the gang, it is time to pick sides, do you really want scabies supporters or a custard and sliced peaches man to win. Perfidious Albion or honest Scotland , friendship goes out the window in this one. Grrrr :)

Pick sides?

What's to pick? The only nation with more enemies than England is USA, and they don't play at all.

Funny how Wilkinson never shines when he plays us.


I could never go that fast-I backed off under 160, partially due to the fact that I had the kids and a nephew in the car.

:lol:


To which he replied "dust". And then the fight started. Add on at will.

And brilliant follow up!

[prendrelemick]

There is some merit in consistency. Consider the emotional rollercoaster of the average England fan - football or rugby.

There's usually a win or two, just to get the hopes up, and then comes the crushing defeat/ humiliation/ last gasp penalty shootout. All that emotion, all that rah rah raaaaahing for nothing. You can smell the disappointment as you hear flags hung from local windows being unceremoniously torn down... again.

:beatdeadhorse5: :banghead: :nopity:

Good choice of emoticons these days.


Aye, but at least we're not like the All Blacks. They are the best. They know they are the best. The opposition Know they are the best. Everyone knows they are the best. So why don't they win when it matters?

Meanwhile England have reverted to the tactics that made them the World Champions, bore the opposition into submission.

[Paulclem]

Aye, but at least we're not like the All Blacks. They are the best. They know they are the best. The opposition Know they are the best. Everyone knows they are the best. So why don't they win when it matters?

Meanwhile England have reverted to the tactics that made them the World Champions, bore the opposition into submission.

You're right. I caught about ten mins of the game when all they did was kick it to each other. The second commentator - is he from Yorkshire? - was going apopoplectic, as he'd been saying exactly the same thing in the last 6 Nations.

Kick and run indeed.

[soundofmusic]

Loved the reverence to the origin of NASCAR, (not unlike "rum-runners"), but I'm not sure even the speaker knew what he was saying :). The race was a loser, due to track failure that had the cars sitting for hours. I could never go that fast-I backed off under 160, partially due to the fact that I had the kids and a nephew in the car.
Having your own language makes you unique, just like everyone else.
flattery O'connnor and Jimmy joy juice went into a bar, ordered a shot of the best local stuff, and asked the barkeep if they'd heard the new joke about Timbuktu. The bartender's neck veins flared wide and red, and then he said "look mister, I'm from Timbuktu; the four guys at the end of the bar, they're from Timbuktu; the two big guys shooting pool, they're from Timbuktu, and so are the foursome throwing darts". At which flattery replied"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll go real slow". And then the fight started. Later that night flattery got home, and while soaking, and licking his wounds, and chilling one eye with a cold steak, was watching television. The wife gets home and asks him what's on the telly. To which he replied "dust". And then the fight started. Add on at will.

I've always thought you were unique:ladysman: Love the jokes:iagree:


OK Gbrekken, I'm game-
"add on at"... will...the wife insist that the rum runner, a pre cursor to NASCAR, allow his two week old Kolache and near empty bottle of Wild Turkey remain in its customary position on the bookshelf? She insists that the shelf needs dusting along with the old Zenith.

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae114/tabuka1/For%20the%20Sonata/IMG_1406.jpg

Gilliatt

That pastry is gorgeous, how about sending some of your wifes confections (before the two week stent on the shelf) to old Soundo:drool5:


Any time you're having a bad day, a quick glance in here soon removes the gloom!

Daughter has come home from school with norovirus today - speaking of infestations...


Again, the disadvantages of unique and rare genes; I spent almost every school year catching everything. My aunt used to observe that the children who never combed their hair and walked through chicken droppings were always healthy; but a bath, shampoo and regular meals will put you in the hospital.:sick:

[The Atheist]

Aye, but at least we're not like the All Blacks. They are the best. They know they are the best. The opposition Know they are the best. Everyone knows they are the best. So why don't they win when it matters?

4 million Kiwis want the answer to that very question.

There are a couple of factors:

1 We keep picking idiots as coach - every RWC since 1987, we have had some inadequate dick in charge. In 2011, we have the same dick who lost the last one, so hopes are low.

2 We were robbed in 1995 and ought to have 2 cups

3 Public expectation to win every single game tends to make us use all of our cards leading into the tournament and when others pull out all the stops, we're often found wanting.

4 There will be riots in Queen St if we don't win next year and the coach will be lynched.


Again, the disadvantages of unique and rare genes; I spent almost every school year catching everything. My aunt used to observe that the children who never combed their hair and walked through chicken droppings were always healthy; but a bath, shampoo and regular meals will put you in the hospital.:sick:

Ha!

Sounds just like my kids!

I took the boy to the Dr a couple of weeks back as he's had an ongoing sinus infection which just won't go away.

She started talking about nutrition and preservatives before I stopped her and pointed out that my kids eat correct, fresh food and on the rare occasion they have lollies/takeaways/soft drinks they think it's christmas.

Yet they get sick so often it drives me nuts. Unlike other kids, they even wash their hands before eating and after going to the toilet.

I actually think those other kids do get sick, and in many cases are just sick all the time, so it's their natural state and they don't have time off school/work with it.

[Paulclem]

4 million Kiwis want the answer to that very question.

There are a couple of factors:

1 We keep picking idiots as coach - every RWC since 1987, we have had some inadequate dick in charge. In 2011, we have the same dick who lost the last one, so hopes are low.

2 We were robbed in 1995 and ought to have 2 cups

3 Public expectation to win every single game tends to make us use all of our cards leading into the tournament and when others pull out all the stops, we're often found wanting.

4 There will be riots in Queen St if we don't win next year and the coach will be lynched.



Ha!

Sounds just like my kids!

I took the boy to the Dr a couple of weeks back as he's had an ongoing sinus infection which just won't go away.

She started talking about nutrition and preservatives before I stopped her and pointed out that my kids eat correct, fresh food and on the rare occasion they have lollies/takeaways/soft drinks they think it's christmas.

Yet they get sick so often it drives me nuts. Unlike other kids, they even wash their hands before eating and after going to the toilet.

I actually think those other kids do get sick, and in many cases are just sick all the time, so it's their natural state and they don't have time off school/work with it.

My kids were the same. They even got a disease I'd never head of until half the Primary School went down with it - the slapcheek virus. I makes their cheeks go red and they feel as if they've got a cold - facecheeks that is...

[prendrelemick]

Afew years ago I called at a farm. It was a bleak place, the house was dilapidated with cracked windows and ill-fitting doors. It was b...dy freezing. Two kids were playing in the yard, they were wearing shorts, holy jumpers and wellies three sizes too big, no coats, scarves or hats. I asked them if they were cold. "No" they said .(They were playing with water from a trough, for heavens sake) I asked their mother, who came to the door dressed for The Algarve, how they did it. "Porage" she replied. "we have a big bowlfull of porage every morning." She said her kids were never ill, and I could see they were bright and vigourous. I tried to force a porage regieme on my household after that, but the lure of Coco pops overcame me.

[soundofmusic]

Ha!

Sounds just like my kids!

I took the boy to the Dr a couple of weeks back as he's had an ongoing sinus infection which just won't go away.

She started talking about nutrition and preservatives before I stopped her and pointed out that my kids eat correct, fresh food and on the rare occasion they have lollies/takeaways/soft drinks they think it's christmas.

Yet they get sick so often it drives me nuts. Unlike other kids, they even wash their hands before eating and after going to the toilet.

I actually think those other kids do get sick, and in many cases are just sick all the time, so it's their natural state and they don't have time off school/work with it.

Have you ever wondered if some peoples bodies were just too dull to pick up on illness; no really. My mom was a great woman; but a little retarded. The woman was never ill, she worked until the minute her children were born, she never took medications and only died from my sisters cooking:frown2:


My kids were the same. They even got a disease I'd never head of until half the Primary School went down with it - the slapcheek virus. I makes their cheeks go red and they feel as if they've got a cold - facecheeks that is...

All these weird diseases. I saw a fellow on television today who had a daughter with "the sleeping beauty disease"; they sleep for 13 or 14 days at a time. Something with the autoimmune system.


Afew years ago I called at a farm. It was a bleak place, the house was dilapidated with cracked windows and ill-fitting doors. It was b...dy freezing. Two kids were playing in the yard, they were wearing shorts, holy jumpers and wellies three sizes too big, no coats, scarves or hats. I asked them if they were cold. "No" they said .(They were playing with water from a trough, for heavens sake) I asked their mother, who came to the door dressed for The Algarve, how they did it. "Porage" she replied. "we have a big bowlfull of porage every morning." She said her kids were never ill, and I could see they were bright and vigourous. I tried to force a porage regieme on my household after that, but the lure of Coco pops overcame me.

:drool5: Coco puffs, nothing like them except Cookie Crisp. I've tried to incorporate a good diet since this flu hit me and lasted 5 weeks...This healthy food is about to kill my digestive system; I feel I may explood at any point:puke:

[soundofmusic]

You see, this is why I like being an honorary bloke, Men are just so interesting...They talk about everything:patriot:

[Paulclem]

Have you ever wondered if some peoples bodies were just too dull to pick up on illness; no really. My mom was a great woman; but a little retarded. The woman was never ill, she worked until the minute her children were born, she never took medications and only died from my sisters cooking:frown2:



All these weird diseases. I saw a fellow on television today who had a daughter with "the sleeping beauty disease"; they sleep for 13 or 14 days at a time. Something with the autoimmune system.



:drool5: Coco puffs, nothing like them except Cookie Crisp. I've tried to incorporate a good diet since this flu hit me and lasted 5 weeks...This healthy food is about to kill my digestive system; I feel I may explood at any point:puke:

I currently suffer from alarmingly red annual underarm rashes - I've no idea why I get them, they don't cause me much bother - they just appear, itch for a few days and depart.

The wierdest thing I had was one winter when my finger ends tended to split.

It is a commonly held belief by some people that dirt improves the immune system - hence the ruddy faced urchins you see wandering around in inadequate clothing. Perhaps we should stop showering and just smell more. On second thoughts nah.

[Paulclem]

You see, this is why I like being an honorary bloke, Men are just so interesting...They talk about everything:patriot:

All those hours in the pub talking nonsense has been a good training.

Funnily enough, since I stopped going to pubs, their business has gone right down. It's either that or the vast improvements in home entertainment coupled with the supermarkets' get p*ssed quick campaigns. :biggrin5:

[prendrelemick]

You see, this is why I like being an honorary bloke, Men are just so interesting...They talk about everything:patriot:

Yes, and sometimes we make sense too.

[gbrekken]

[QUOTE=Paulclem;848569]

It is a commonly held belief by some people that dirt improves the immune system - QUOTE]

My farmer father was fond of saying "A little clean dirt never hurt anybody."