View Full Version : Ask A Stupid Question, Get A Stupid Answer
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Pendragon
04-14-2009, 07:20 AM
Knowledge is power.
Why does fire burn?
Stargazer86
05-09-2009, 03:14 PM
Because the dragon's breath is so hot...burning hot
Who is the King of England?
BienvenuJDC
05-09-2009, 03:31 PM
The Queen's husband
Do they have a 4th of July in England?
mmaria
05-09-2009, 03:55 PM
Yes, it is around the 4th of July.
Talking about "in" as prefix for a negative meaning, what negative meaning it gives to the word "intruder"?
prendrelemick
05-10-2009, 06:58 AM
It means,"Its not true, duh "
Why do cats purr
a_little_wisp
05-10-2009, 07:09 AM
They have little maracas in their throats (it's ok, they don't hurt) that start to shake when the cat is content.
:D
Why do some people tap their foot when they're impatient?
BienvenuJDC
05-10-2009, 08:22 AM
'Im' (as in imperfect) must mean NOT...so Impatient, must mean...NOT patient.... If you're not a patient, that must mean that you're healthy. If you're healthy, it's a toe tapping happy time.
Why do people park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
prendrelemick
05-10-2009, 09:13 AM
because car drivers are (like Mary) quite contrary
If con means "against". (as in pros and cons) do content people hate camping
The Comedian
05-12-2009, 10:17 AM
Because they're too tense to bring two tents.
Why is red not blue?
PoeticPassions
05-12-2009, 10:30 AM
because blue was already taken.
Why does it snow?
mmaria
05-13-2009, 03:50 PM
Because you live on Earth. On Venus it doesn't snow.
Have you ever seen a space ship from another planet?
Stargazer86
05-14-2009, 01:42 AM
Of course. In fact I've been on one. I'm an extra terrestrial (shh it's a secret!)
Why does the tooth fairy leave you money for your old teeth?
Shalot
05-14-2009, 02:24 AM
Because she likes the way they smell.
How does the tooth fairy know that it's not okay to take your grandmother's dentures away in the night? If she comes in and takes teeth from underneath a child's pillow, what stops her from getting all those glistening teeth in that cup of water by the sink?
The Comedian
05-14-2009, 10:35 AM
She has a deathly fear of cups and is allergic to sinks, which give her a frightful post-nasal drip.
Have you ever heard a spelling bee buzz?
Nikhar
05-16-2009, 10:20 AM
Oh Yeah, I have...I was in a spelling bee once, but it buzzed so much that I messed up with the spelling of "Buzz".
I spelled it buzzzzzzzzzz.
What came first?
Egg or hen?
mmaria
05-17-2009, 01:48 AM
Hen, egg came then.
Why does this world fear from extraterrestrials?
Stargazer86
05-17-2009, 01:54 AM
We don't want them to steal our super cool 21st century gadgets. Like Blue Ray DVD players.
I asked this once in another thread, but I think it's better here:
Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
BienvenuJDC
05-17-2009, 02:00 AM
Possibly not...since it really is a scar from a cord that they never had...unless God wanted them to have one...
Do girls REALLY need to go to the bathroom together...and why?
Nikhar
05-17-2009, 02:24 AM
Oh yes...there they have a conference on boys and girls' rights...but mainly boys ;)
Why do buses stand on a bus top?
mmaria
05-17-2009, 08:01 AM
Because they need an "s" in front of their "top".
Why has BienvenuJDC 24601 changed his avatar?
Stargazer86
05-17-2009, 08:09 AM
After robbing a string of banks, he's now a fugitive from the law and had to disguise himself. This is his hideout
Why isn't "phonetics" spelled the way it sounds?
Nikhar
05-17-2009, 08:30 AM
What? It doesn't sound that way!!!!!!!!!!
@mmaria
Well, another reason is that the bus can't sit, so it stands. :p
Just fill in the blank with a yes or no.
________, I don't have brains.
jekan blazer
05-18-2009, 04:02 PM
yes
wait for it... waaaaaaaaaaaait for it........
why do people have emotions?
Niamh
05-19-2009, 01:51 PM
so they can discover they have a superpower of making others feel bad! :D
Why is the sun yellow? (yeah couldnt think of anything else...)
jekan blazer
05-19-2009, 01:59 PM
because it is...
why am i random?
JuniperWoolf
05-19-2009, 08:47 PM
Yellow fish cat wonder dog.
What ever happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas?
BienvenuJDC
05-19-2009, 09:17 PM
He enrolled in Columbia GS (2007-08).
Why do three year olds ask 'WHY?' so much?
zanna
05-19-2009, 11:17 PM
Because they have a burning curiosity to know everything! I never grew out of it, much to the annoyance of everyone I know, but it makes me sad when people stop questioning things, and learning . . . when that curious spark dies. =(
Why do parents always say "Because I said so!" ??
Monamy
05-20-2009, 01:36 AM
Because I said so!
A train was going at the speed of 200km/h. Using that info, how many apples are there on the tree if the Pepsi's price went up to 1 dollar?
Nightshade
05-20-2009, 07:25 AM
shrubbery? :D
When is a penguin like a hippo?
Nikhar
05-20-2009, 12:32 PM
When it overfeeds itself.
Why doesn't the electronic mouse bite?
Scheherazade
05-20-2009, 12:41 PM
Because it hasn't been teething yet.
Where do all the lonely people come from?
Nightshade
05-20-2009, 01:46 PM
The blues train!
Why pop corn?
Scheherazade
05-20-2009, 01:48 PM
Because you cannot corn the pop.
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Stargazer86
05-20-2009, 01:53 PM
Because that's what his parents named him. This was in the days before baby naming books
How many fingers am i holding up?
Moshu
05-20-2009, 01:56 PM
19. Obviously. I've got VERY good sight.
Why are mosquitoes so incredibly annoying?
Monamy
05-21-2009, 03:25 AM
Guess they didn't get proper education to be civil, huh...
Why do we always respond with a gasp when someone/something scares us? =O
jekan blazer
05-21-2009, 12:21 PM
cause we can and it costs us nothing!!!:p
why are we here on lit net?
Monamy
05-24-2009, 04:44 AM
Because lit net owns all, and you know it ;)
if someone... umm, released wind in a dance party, do you think anyone would notice? XD
A Snowy Evening
05-24-2009, 03:36 PM
it depends on what kind of dancing people were doing.
which language is most difficult to type on a computer?
JuniperWoolf
05-25-2009, 12:43 AM
Pliggley, because it hasn't been invented yet.
Where did my stupid keys go?
Monamy
05-25-2009, 02:34 AM
I have no idea... :idea: let's think together of the places a stupid key would go to!
I feel like someone is watching me everywhere I go... am I targeted? will I die soon?
prendrelemick
05-25-2009, 04:36 PM
Really. No. Everyone does.
Why is reality TV so contrived?
Sk8ynat
05-28-2009, 03:16 AM
so it seems more spontaneous.
what is impossible?
dodong
07-09-2009, 09:06 PM
Impossible is nothing...
why am I wearing my headphone without listening to anything..
Beautifull
07-09-2009, 09:09 PM
because they don't breed with cookies!
why don't you breathe underwater?
Mathor
07-10-2009, 12:44 AM
because I am a silly human being.
What is the meaning of life?
Beautifull
07-10-2009, 12:48 AM
to eat.
why do i have two hands?
Mathor
07-10-2009, 01:28 AM
because one hand is not enough.
Where would you like to retire?
PoeticPassions
07-10-2009, 03:34 AM
In a grave.
What's the difference between a frisbee and a boomerang?
SoonerSoul
07-11-2009, 12:55 PM
Dogs hate Boomerangs, because they never get the chance to catch them.
Why don't they Domesticate the Fox, I know id like stroke one like I would a cat.
Beautifull
07-11-2009, 05:05 PM
because foxes tend to want chickens for dinner.
why do you sneeze?
dodong
07-12-2009, 06:05 AM
because i smell something fishy..
why are my eye bags dark?
Nikhar
07-12-2009, 11:02 AM
because Pappu scored 25 in maths. *answered this question in a mad frenzy after being hypnotized by an alien:alien:*
If there were 25 carrots hanging from a tree, and Pintoo ate 5 cabbages out of them, how many apples are left? *goes barmy*
Beautifull
07-12-2009, 05:27 PM
no...an orange is left!
where does the sky live?
a_little_wisp
07-13-2009, 03:07 AM
In my closet, of course.
What do waves eat?
prendrelemick
07-13-2009, 03:21 AM
coastlines.
what are holes made of?
Beautifull
07-13-2009, 08:00 PM
cracks of course!!!
why do you crack when you laugh?
dodong
11-15-2009, 12:09 AM
because my mouth makes a big hole...
why do i feel like peeing?
because you want to write your name in the snow
and why is snow so... flaky?
it's snot!
why are graves in rows?
DanielBenoit
11-21-2009, 06:43 PM
Because they're marching in line!
Why is the sun mad at me?
because you have no daughters
if right is not a matter of perspective, then why isn't left always wrong?
DanielBenoit
11-21-2009, 07:11 PM
Because you're a Republican.
Why isn't light dark?
neilgee
11-26-2009, 06:55 AM
Because the sun's out
Where do you draw the line?
Silas Thorne
11-26-2009, 08:31 AM
Whereever the ground is smooth enough to do so.
Why does it hurt when I put firecrackers inside my nostrils and light them?
Maryd.
11-26-2009, 08:38 AM
Because nostrils were made for blowing, not lighting.
Why am I writing on this thread?
Silas Thorne
11-26-2009, 08:41 AM
Because you started writing on this thread, and what you start online you must never finish.
Why do we sleep so much of our time?
Maryd.
11-26-2009, 08:43 AM
Because our eyes are slower than our brains.
Why is life so unkind?
Silas Thorne
11-26-2009, 08:45 AM
Because if it were kinder, we would not value happy times in our life.
Is 'James and the Giant Peach' based on real events?
Maryd.
11-26-2009, 08:48 AM
I should hope so. He is my hero.
Is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory based on real events?
Silas Thorne
11-26-2009, 09:06 AM
Yes. I'm very overweight now from gorging myself on Wonka bars, and they gave this skinny poor kid the trip.
Where does sleep live?
Maryd.
11-26-2009, 09:14 AM
In a bed.
Why do horse sleep standing up?
Silas Thorne
11-26-2009, 09:34 AM
So they don't roll in their own **** in the stables.
Why do people wear black?
Maryd.
11-26-2009, 09:47 AM
Because they are colour blind.
Why are some people colour blind?
Virgil
11-26-2009, 10:11 AM
Because their eyes lack pigmentation.
Why do noses get longer as one ages?
Maryd.
11-26-2009, 10:15 AM
Because the brain forgets what part of the body should keep growing.
Why are people so clever?
Why do you ask?
How can I become a bestsellers' writer?
Nikhar
11-26-2009, 12:44 PM
Pick something controversial....like a politician's death or some old forgotten myth and put lots of se* in it. But don't dare to write anything thought provoking. :p
Why are mobiles named so?
Maryd.
11-26-2009, 08:46 PM
Because they are a floaty way of communication.
Why am I so flustered today?
neilgee
11-26-2009, 10:20 PM
You're not, it's all just a bad dream, now calm down.
What do parrot's copy people?
DanielBenoit
11-26-2009, 11:02 PM
Because they enjoyed Hofstander's Godel, Escher, Bach.
Why isn't the Pulitzer Prize made out of choclate?
Because chocolate is not for has beans
Did Ogden hear the gnashing?
DanielBenoit
11-26-2009, 11:53 PM
No because you were deaf.
Why don't turkeys talk?
Haunted
11-27-2009, 03:17 AM
Because they're cooked.
How do we know when left is right, but right is wrong?
DanielBenoit
11-27-2009, 03:57 AM
Because I told you so.
What is the bird?
Thespian1975
11-27-2009, 12:14 PM
The bird is chased by my cats. and the feathers bought into my house as a present. :rage:
Why is it dark in here?
Haunted
11-27-2009, 12:37 PM
That's because the Sun God lost in a game of chess.
We can flap our arms, so why can't we fly?
We can only fly on earth, the sky is not our realm.
While mothers whisper soft, why don't we see that they must go?
DanielBenoit
11-27-2009, 02:19 PM
Because I stole a cookie.
Who eats cheese and crackers?
Maryd.
11-27-2009, 06:40 PM
The man on the moon
Who slipped on a banana peel?
Haunted
11-27-2009, 07:40 PM
The dancing banana, after it's peeled :banana:
Why is the dog barking up the wrong tree?
Because it is drunk and sees two instead of one.
Who comes first?
Maryd.
11-28-2009, 01:28 PM
That's right, Who's on first, what's on second and I don't know who's on third.
Why am I on litnet at 4.30am?
Haunted
11-29-2009, 03:54 AM
It's ok, it's only afternoon here.
As I'm driving, how do I apply eye makeup while making hair-pin turns?
Bakiryu
11-29-2009, 03:56 AM
using the windshield wipers, of course.
how why that is because?
Haunted
11-29-2009, 04:02 AM
Whatever.
Will I be on time if I sit on the clock?
DanielBenoit
11-29-2009, 04:44 AM
Never! Never ever, ever, ever, EVER!
What is a why?
Bakiryu
11-29-2009, 04:48 AM
a who that didn't know what :p
why am i not a platypus?
DanielBenoit
11-29-2009, 04:57 AM
Because I told you to!
Why doesn't 'word' and 'person' rhyme?
Maryd.
11-29-2009, 07:12 AM
Because 'word' beat up on 'person', so now they don't talk anymore.
Why am I so happy?
Because you are on the litnet forum.
Can you say something stupid?
Maryd.
11-29-2009, 11:12 PM
Something stupid.
Can you fly with pigs?
Virgil
11-29-2009, 11:30 PM
Only when pigs fly.
Why are pigs fat?
DanielBenoit
11-29-2009, 11:32 PM
Silly, birds don't fly!
Can I eat the spider??????
Haunted
11-29-2009, 11:53 PM
yes, eat the spider before Gozilla eats you.
Is 6 legs faster than 2?
DanielBenoit
11-30-2009, 12:00 AM
Depends on how you count.
Can I have the cookie?
Haunted
11-30-2009, 12:05 AM
If you were the cookie jar, then yes.
if I split my hair, do I get twice as much hair?
Maryd.
11-30-2009, 01:31 AM
Only if you were bald.
If I danced the tango on the beach - would I sink into the sand?
Silas Thorne
11-30-2009, 03:04 AM
Can you dance the tango on the head of a pin? If so, quite possibly.
If we are all made up of atoms anyway, why don't parts of ourselves collect and connect to others' lips in the act of kissing?
Shalot
11-30-2009, 03:07 AM
Can you dance the tango on the head of a pin? If so, quite possibly.
If we are all made up of atoms anyway, why don't parts of ourselves collect and connect to others' lips in the act of kissing?
Maybe they do and maybe you just can't see it.
Are we really made up of atoms?
Haunted
11-30-2009, 03:12 AM
Not everyone, only those they considered to be bombshells.
do I refill my glass when it's half full or wait till it's half empty?
Silas Thorne
11-30-2009, 03:15 AM
First check if it is actually a glass.
Who lays the cartons the eggs come in?
Maryd.
11-30-2009, 09:35 AM
The Carton Hen.
What entices a gambler to gamble?
Haunted
11-30-2009, 12:32 PM
Those people act oddly, so they gamble knowing the odds are on their side.
What are eyebrows for?
Maryd.
11-30-2009, 12:51 PM
For bobbing up and down, when in company of a beautiful woman.
Why do we need to breathe?
Haunted
12-01-2009, 02:35 AM
That's how you smoke pot.
Did the screw screw up the screwdriver, or the screwdriver screw up the screw?
Maryd.
12-01-2009, 06:59 AM
Is this another one of those "What came first? The chicken or the egg" thing. I think it was the screw... or screwdriver... no screw... ar er...I"M SO CONFUSED.
Why are we asking pointless questions?
Haunted
12-01-2009, 10:52 AM
well then, we'll just write pointless sentences.
How many hours are in an hourglass?
Maryd.
12-01-2009, 06:20 PM
As many as I can push in.
How many days are there - in one year week?
Haunted
12-01-2009, 07:37 PM
One long lousy day.
If vice is bad, why then do we need a vice president?
Maryd.
12-01-2009, 07:40 PM
When the president is in the toilet.
Are we going through global warming?
Jazz_
12-03-2009, 12:41 AM
No - people just keep turning the heater up...
Why is the sky blue?
Silas Thorne
12-03-2009, 04:11 AM
To see the clouds better.
Why do some people get redder faces when they drink alcohol?
Jazz_
12-03-2009, 05:00 AM
It acts as a warning for others...
What does the "cil" in "pencil" mean (if a pen is a pen)?
Maryd.
12-03-2009, 08:56 AM
Because it's sound is 'sil' which is short for silly.
Why is this site called Literature Network Forum?
Haunted
12-03-2009, 12:54 PM
It sounds better than Whatdoucallit Website.
Why does a wood pencil taste so good when we're nervous?
Maryd.
12-03-2009, 03:47 PM
Because we love trees
Why are we born?
Haunted
12-03-2009, 03:59 PM
To annoy our parents.
Are we ever going to grow up?
Maryd.
12-03-2009, 04:15 PM
Yes at around 2012
Will the world end in 2012?
DanielBenoit
12-03-2009, 04:33 PM
Yes, at exactly 6:37 AM March 15, 2012. MARK MY WORDS.
When will it stop?
juhuulian
12-03-2009, 07:27 PM
when the next thing starts.
Why doesnt gravity go the other way?
Maryd.
12-03-2009, 07:28 PM
Because it doesn't hasn't worked out the difference between left and right, yet!
Who is King Julian?
Haunted
12-04-2009, 04:03 AM
One of the patients in the psych ward
How do I get out of a wormhole?
DanielBenoit
12-04-2009, 11:55 AM
You tap your heels together and say "There's no place like home, there's no place like home."
How is ground beef dug up?
Haunted
12-04-2009, 12:36 PM
The hamburger bun driving a bulldozer
Why isn't there a pupil in the eye of a needle?
Maryd.
12-04-2009, 05:26 PM
Because a pupil is a student and a student wouldn't fit.
Who are you?
DanielBenoit
12-04-2009, 05:38 PM
A person.
Who's that standing next to you?
Maryd.
12-04-2009, 05:40 PM
Another person
Who is watching you?
Haunted
12-05-2009, 10:59 AM
Doctor Who
How come I'm always right?
Jazz_
12-06-2009, 01:50 AM
Because everyone else went left...
Why do we need to eat?
Maryd.
12-06-2009, 07:42 AM
So that the rest of the world can keep up with our obesity rate.
Why should everyone be nice to one another?
Haunted
12-06-2009, 01:32 PM
Because if you're not nice to them, they may spike your food.
How do you draw on the Sistine Ceiling without getting dizzy and nauseous?
I mix all the drinks and get drunk, before I get sober I do the drawing.
Is it better to be cleverly stupid or stupidly clever?
Jazz_
12-06-2009, 11:49 PM
I prefer not to mix the two - so neither
Can you teach an elephant to sing?
Maryd.
12-07-2009, 02:44 AM
Yes, if you get an disciplined elephant.
What happens when a clown stops being funny?
Haunted
12-07-2009, 03:13 AM
They'll get tickled until they laugh again.
How do I turn cotton candy into a sweater?
Maryd.
12-07-2009, 03:19 AM
Use a sewing machine
How can I count to 30, when I only have 10 fingers and 10 toes?
Haunted
12-07-2009, 11:41 AM
If you're not bald, you can continue with your hair.
To be a leader, how much lead does one need to consume?
Maryd.
12-07-2009, 01:02 PM
Oh, a couple of boxes of hb pencils.
Is the moon in Australia as big as the one in America?
DanielBenoit
12-07-2009, 01:05 PM
Well America has a greater population and thus exhale more carbon dioxide. This then ignites the moon to expand in America.
What is what?
Maryd.
12-07-2009, 01:07 PM
Yes.
What is who?
juhuulian
12-07-2009, 02:10 PM
a three letter word.
Why does friday come after thursday and not the other way round?
Maryd.
12-07-2009, 04:16 PM
Because one can only eat fried food at the end of the working week.
Is it true, are there martians on mars?
juhuulian
12-07-2009, 05:23 PM
well there wont be any on the moon!
Why do we live on the earth and not on the sun?
Because the Sunians beat us there.
Why doesn't the sun shine at night?
It does, only it changes its name into Moon.
How do you know the difference between stupid and clever?
Clever means you know how to ask a stupid question.
Why is coming up with a stupid question so hard?
Haunted
12-07-2009, 08:28 PM
Because a stupid question has to be clever.
What time is one o'clock?
Maryd.
12-07-2009, 09:41 PM
Wait, don't tell me... I should know this one... Nope, can't think. Don't have enough fingers and toes to count to one.
What do you do when your clock's battery goes flat?
Haunted
12-08-2009, 01:16 AM
I would hold its hands and say, there will be another battery!
Why are laws made to be broken?
Maryd.
12-08-2009, 06:04 AM
Because they are easier to break than throwing stones in a glass house.
Why do we change character after we have had to much to drink?
Haunted
12-08-2009, 01:36 PM
Because when we consume spirits, spirits consume us, and we take on their evil characters.
What's the difference between a meow and a yeow?
Maryd.
12-08-2009, 06:46 PM
The first one has fur and the second one would most likely be dead.
What's the difference between men and women?
Haunted
12-09-2009, 10:07 AM
Men control the TV remote. Women control the men.
Do dentures feel like real teeth? :D
Maryd.
12-09-2009, 03:52 PM
Only when you put them in a glass of water beside your bed.
Are there Martians on Mars?
hoope
12-10-2009, 09:50 AM
No we're not martians on Mars !! We are earthians on earth
why a hen can't fly ???
Dr Jekyll
12-10-2009, 10:52 AM
Because Nature clipped its wings.
Why are books made out of paper?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 04:29 PM
Because wood, was too hard to turn.
Why is it cold in Winter?
hoope
12-10-2009, 05:04 PM
coz its not in summer ..
why ppl like soccer that much ?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 05:06 PM
Because after someone kick's a goal, they get to watch the soccer players kiss and cuddle.
Why are we born?
Because Chuck Norris said so.
Do oranges taste orange?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 06:11 PM
Yes, because Chuck Norris said they would... (What to do... I like chucki)
Am I a real person, or wax?
You must be having a terrible identity crisis. You're a DNA based wax sculpture.
Why is beer foamy?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 06:25 PM
So it can leave a moustache on you, in case you are a woman and want to look like a man, for a while.
Why does the moon shine at night and the sun at day?
They're phobic of each other.
Why do the stars only shine at night?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 06:31 PM
Because it takes them all day to wake up.
Why dogs bark?
Because they can't moo.
Why do cats shed all over the place?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 06:33 PM
Because they want to leave there mark.
Why do birds fly?
Because it takes too long to walk.
Why don't rocks fly?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 06:36 PM
Because they are lazy. This is why they just sit there!
Why can't I see you?
Because I'm on a different continent . . .? Or I'm invisible.
Why can I see you?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 06:40 PM
Because I'm special
Why does the world turn?
Because Chuck Norris never stops walking.
What happens if you can't see Chuck?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 06:43 PM
I would have heart failure.
Why is Chuck so perfect in every way?
How's that a stupid question? ;)
Why are Chuck Norris jokes so funny?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 06:46 PM
Because no one else is perfect enough to joke about:rolleyes:
How can we stop the Global Warming?
Stop playing politics.
What are politics?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 08:00 PM
I think it's a kind of sweet... If you don't like it, then you can spit it out.
What are people made of?
Paper bags and chewing gum.
What is fire made of?
Maryd.
12-10-2009, 11:37 PM
A couple of sticks and a couple of rocks.
What time is it, when its the afternoon?
Not 12 pm.
Why is a broken clock right twice a day?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 01:28 AM
Because times stands still.
What is a church?
The clock likes to be right twice a day ;)
Would you like to be invisible forever?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 01:37 AM
To be invisible is to be seen and not heard... Or is that heard... Ar... I'M SO CONFUSED!
Why is the world round?
coz round is a shape and the world has to be of some shape... otherwise we would call it shapeless!
why do we have 10 fingers and 10 toes?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 01:44 AM
Because we only have two feet and two hands... If we had three feet and three hands, it would be 15 feet and 15 toes.
Why are people different?
Haunted
12-11-2009, 02:09 AM
so we can tell each other apart when we look in the mirror
How do you fertilize a couch potato?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 02:11 AM
You turn it into mash
How do you feed a newborn baby?
Haunted
12-11-2009, 02:28 AM
with tender loving care
What's the best route to the North Pole?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 02:29 AM
I think you head North
Whats the best route to Australia?
stephofthenight
12-11-2009, 02:39 AM
Walking out Maryd's back door,
Why do we stay up sooooo late on litnet
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 02:43 AM
Because we can't tell the time yet.
Why is there 24hrs in one day?
coz 25hrs would be still less!
why don't we have enough friends?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 05:32 AM
Because good friends are only on-line
Why are we chatting on a literature forum?
coz chatting is allowed on LIT NEt ;)
What are dreams made up of?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 05:50 AM
Little people in our heads... With little voices... Or is that insanity. Never mind.
What will happen to the world in 2012?
in 2012 the world will remain round since you have planted lettuce in the backyard!
Is that telephone going to ring!
neilgee
12-11-2009, 09:01 AM
That depends whether the batteries charged or not.
What's the weather like in India?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 09:43 AM
The same as the North Pole's
What is the weather like in Australia?
Dr Jekyll
12-11-2009, 09:49 AM
Depends on the number of kangaroos in your area.
Why do we watch television?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 09:50 AM
Because the stupid thing is in front of the window...
Why do you - watch television?
Dr Jekyll
12-11-2009, 09:55 AM
Because it makes my nausea of boredom even worse...
What are sausages made from?
Haunted
12-11-2009, 07:32 PM
You don't want to know.
Shall I walk my hot dog?
BienvenuJDC
12-11-2009, 07:35 PM
No...let him rest and cool off!!
Are children REALLY innocent?
Haunted
12-11-2009, 07:41 PM
No, they're guilty of being innocent.
Are adults really grownups?
BienvenuJDC
12-11-2009, 07:53 PM
No...I'm growing 'OUT' more than anything...(but really, I have ALWAYS worn a size 32 waist)
Why do we say 'one mouse, two mice'...but we don't say 'one house, two hice'?
Haunted
12-11-2009, 07:58 PM
It's the other way round. It should have been two mouses.
The driving speed limit is 65 mph. Does that apply to me too?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 08:03 PM
No, you have to go as fast as you like, you are Thelma
Is it right to rob a bank?
BienvenuJDC
12-11-2009, 08:05 PM
Can I answer with another question?..."Is it right for a bank to rob you?
Why do men only have one day to shop for Christmas?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 08:09 PM
Because they are forgetful and forget what day Christmas day is.
Why do men exist?
BienvenuJDC
12-11-2009, 08:11 PM
To give women purpose...(like to pick up socks and stuff)...
Why do men and women fight so much?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 08:12 PM
Because women are perfect in every way and men can't handle that. (Sorry dear, just had to throw that one in)
Why do women wear dress?
BienvenuJDC
12-11-2009, 09:09 PM
To attract men.
Why are men attracted to a sexy little dress...just to get the wife home and .....well?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 09:14 PM
Because men are not perfect (Sorry had to throw that one in again)
What is the difference between men and women?
BienvenuJDC
12-11-2009, 09:18 PM
Men are honest about their imperfection, while women fear them.
How big does a spider have to be to eat a bird?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 09:19 PM
He has to be a woman (hahahaha)
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
BienvenuJDC
12-11-2009, 09:21 PM
Just one after his wife nags him for two weeks.
What kind of birds does a spider eat?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 09:22 PM
Ones with feathers and wings.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
Haunted
12-11-2009, 09:38 PM
zero. Women just get the men to do it for them
How many women does it take to change one man?
Maryd.
12-11-2009, 09:39 PM
O again, they never change.
How many women does it take to clean house?
Dr Jekyll
12-12-2009, 04:38 AM
A whole bunch if they for some reason work for a famous disc jockey.
What is a man's favourite saying?
Maryd.
12-12-2009, 06:25 AM
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What is a woman's favourite saying?
Haunted
12-12-2009, 09:36 AM
I'm going shopping
Is the moon made of blue cheese and is it edible?
Maryd.
12-12-2009, 09:38 AM
Yes of course... Everybody knows that.
Would one need sunscreen, to sunbake on the sun.
Haunted
12-12-2009, 09:43 AM
nope, just some cake icing.
Do I have to put sand in my sandals?
Maryd.
12-12-2009, 09:45 AM
Of course otherwise they would be called Shoeals.
If you swim in a pool will you get eaten by sharks?
Haunted
12-12-2009, 09:55 AM
there are no sharks in the swimming pool, just killer whales.
Who will win, you or a mosquito?
Maryd.
12-12-2009, 09:57 AM
A mosquito... They always do.
Who hits the ball in baseball?
Haunted
12-12-2009, 10:00 AM
The base.
Is it ok to pinch a pinch hitter?
Maryd.
12-12-2009, 10:04 AM
Yes... Why wouldn't one pinch him or hit him at that matter.
Why do players get into fights during a football match?
Haunted
12-12-2009, 10:15 AM
Because they're a bunch of hotheads with IQ equals to the football.
Why do football players take 3 hours to play an hour game?
Maryd.
12-12-2009, 10:18 AM
Because they spend most of their time cuddling and kissing between goals.
Why was the world created in 7 days and not 8?
Haunted
12-12-2009, 10:26 AM
Because the Creator only works 7 days a week.
Why can't we get 7 days off each week?
Maryd.
12-12-2009, 10:38 AM
Because the boss will miss us and will probably cry.
Why does the weekend consist of 2 days?
Dr Jekyll
12-12-2009, 12:05 PM
Because after 5 long days, that's the time needed to make our cows head towards home (again).
Why does the Earth rotate around the Sun?
Virgil
12-12-2009, 12:10 PM
Because it's so hot on the sun that it gets lazy and couldn't possibly bring itself to rotate around the earth. ;)
Why is the sun so hot?
Haunted
12-12-2009, 12:16 PM
Because there's no air conditioning on the sun.
What happened to poor Pluto?
Dr Jekyll
12-12-2009, 12:22 PM
Poor Pluto got a bad cold by being exposed to the freezing world that is not in the warm grasp of the Sun.
Why does Saturn have a ring around itself?
Virgil
12-12-2009, 12:26 PM
Because she's married.
Why does a nose run fluid when you have a cold?
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