Ask A Stupid Question, Get A Stupid Answer

[zanna]

because Zorro always gets the last word :D

Why is it so hard to write well?

[Laindessiel]

Because to write unrecognizably and stupidly is easy! Damn easy.

Why don't buses have seatbelts???

[BibliophileTRJ]

Because children and people who can't afford their own cars are expendable. DUH! (I hope the sarcasm of that post is evident...... wouldn't want anyone believing I truly feel that way)

Which came first.... the chicken or the egg?

[Susan Sonnen]

The cow.

What do cows drink?

[Pendragon]

Fermented grass. Sort of "Liquid Pot". http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/cow.gif

Aren't bulls a real crock?

[zanna]

sure, if you say so :lol:

Why is Murphy's law the only one universally enforced?

[littlewing53]

it's always about ireland, they truly rule the world!

why can't the circle be unbroken?

[vin1391]

Because if we break it all the points with which it is made of will over-flood the whole place.

Why is the sky blue?

[Pendragon]

Because it ain't green! Next question! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/rebel.gif


Is it feasible to crossbreed wasps with honeybees?

[dramasnot6]

No, but it is FLEAsible :p

Why cant humans be spotted like cows?

[Pendragon]

There's a condition among people of color called "piebald", rare, but it does happen. Michael Jackson claims it's why he had his skin bleached. Any bids on the Brooklyn Bridge? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/smart.gif

What use is one glove, anyhow?

[littlewing53]

it is unique in that it separates one from the others...it glows, it sparkles, it walks on it's own...unlike some of the others who wear two in an unseemingly ordinary sort of way

Why do steering wheels appear on the passenger side in countries outside of the US of A?

[hockeychick8792]

Because they make it the right way for the right people and the wrong way for them selves

Is the correct answer always correct?

[B-Mental]

Yes, except in Germany.

Why is there gravity?

[Misscaroline]

So people can laugh when I fall down.

How can people feel colors?

[AimusSage]

By dipping their fingers into different colours of paint.

Where is the edge of the universe?

[ennison]

Just over there round the corner a bitty.

Why are green peppers just as tasty as red peppers?

[Misscaroline]

Because they're complementary colors or some such. Plus green's better.

Why is America so culturally insensitive?

[Shalot]

Because they're complementary colors or some such. Plus green's better.

Why is America so culturally insensitive?

Ummmm, because America is the melting pot and there are lots of different people in America so naturally, people get confused and it's just easier to assimilate and adopt the same idealogy. The only problem is that it's also ingrained into us that freedom is good and individuality matters and with all the conflicting messages we get confused and have brain spasms.....

Why are run on sentences so fun?

[BibliophileTRJ]

Because it makes one feel powerful to be able to laugh in the face of the rules of punctuation.

Why can't I overcome my LitNet addiction?

[ktd222]

Because you're an addict.

Does it really take one to know one?

[Pendragon]

You should already know! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/chacha_big.gif

Does saying something really make it so? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/dumb.gif

[BibliophileTRJ]

I am fit, sexy, brilliant and rich. I am fit, sexy, brilliant and rich. I am fit, sexy, brilliant and rich.

Nope...apparently saying a thing does NOT make it so. :bawling:


How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[Domer121]

Not a whole lot....:sick:


How do we know what we know? And Why?

[BibliophileTRJ]

I don't know that I KNOW anything.....I think a lot of stuff; but can't prove anything.

Where can I get the best Philly Cheesesteak; outside of Philly?

[Domer121]

My favorite place NYC!

Where can I go where I am sure I won't run into anyone I know??

[BibliophileTRJ]

come to my neck of the woods.....you probably wont run into anyone...at all...period. (why don't you want to see anyone you know? got something to hide?)

What goes best with a good detective novel? Red or white wine?

[Domer121]

Red wine!!!!
Its rich and dark... White wine is for Summer...very light...

(maybe, maybe not:))

What is better Bourbon or Beer?

[BibliophileTRJ]

Bourbon.... gives me that warm-fuzzy feeling without having to pee every 3 minutes.

Take-out tonight!! Chinese or Italian?

[Domer121]

Chinese!!!

Chocolate Cake or Chocolate Chip Cookies???

[BibliophileTRJ]

I am one of those rare individuals that does NOT like chocolate.
(I can hear all of the girls on this site shrieking in horror)
So I'll go with cookies since I can eat around the chips.

Why can't I catch any fish today?

[Domer121]

Because you are on the computer!!!
( And yes, I shriek in horror at your not liking Chocolate!)

Why can't I fly?

[littlewing53]

only because you said you can't...

why does the wind blow?

[ktd222]

because it can only whistle.

How big is too big?

[plastic]

why is mother female?

[littlewing53]

cuz daddy can't get preggers...but yet there was that movie with arnold...scary thought...whose yr daddy takes on a whole new meaning...

why is an avocado green?

[Domer121]

Because it isn't Brown......


Why is rain wet?

[optimisticnad]

if it wasn't than it'd be....the sun (! i tried my best!)

why don't boy have periods? its not fair!

[BibliophileTRJ]

because you ladies make us suffer enough when you menstruate.
(you think menstruation is bad.....just wait for menopause!)

When is dinner going to be ready?

[JaneB]

when your done cooking it.

why can't i remember things?
(i had a good question but i forgot it)

[ktd222]

because your mom taught you that remembering is bad for the soul.

How do you dry a wet t-shirt?

[BibliophileTRJ]

Using the flash bulb on your camera repeatedly.
(BAD BOY, BIB ..... this is a family site!)

How did your t-shirt get wet in the first place?

[Moira]

Ah ....... i like to wash things. It is fun.

Why do people marry?

[littlewing53]

it's all about the ring..yeah baby....seriously, i like to think it has to do with a lasting love, commitment, children...and the biggie...through the fire, till death do us part...tho today, i don't know very many married couples who stick it out for very long...

why is there pain in childbirth?

[Domer121]

Because it prepares you for what is to come....teenagers!!!!


Why don't people live forever if they want to???

[kilted exile]

the worms need food


Why is ice cold?

[Moira]

the worms need food


Why is ice cold?

Because if it were hot we wouldn't have vodka on the rocks anymore .....

Why do we sigh?

[optimisticnad]

To disguise the noise coming out behind out backside. :-)

Why do some websites ask you to verify these numbers that you see? If you couldn't see or read you wouldn't have got that far!

[Shalot]

that's just a typing test --- it's a study being conducted by the STC to see how the typical internet user interacts with and uses the Site in question....

(you said give a stupid answer, not the right one)

Why is not okay to just look the way you look? Why is socially acceptable to shave, and have your hair color and spend lots of money on make-up and clothes and moisturizer etc?

[ktd222]

Your mama.

Do you believe in the tooth fairy?

[toni]

I do! And also in Santa Claus:)


Why didn't we develop a cud? It would be useful!

[Pendragon]

Requires four stomachs. My one is already too big! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/disgusted.gif

Could we chew cud?

[BibliophileTRJ]

Sure, we could........IF we could get it away from the cow first.

The real question is; would we WANT to?

[Domer121]

NO!!!! Cows are too tasty, even if Oprah doesn't like them:)

Why do we care what Oprah thinks??

[littlewing53]

because we might get a present....and she has great taste in jewelry...

why do we pay so much to see a movie?

[Domer121]

Because we like to be annoyed when people talk so then we can say something in the dark when no one knows who said it and then feel like a hero.....faulty courage....

Why do all the movies today seem dumb?

[ktd222]

Because you sat in the theater all day and watched repeats of Dumb and Dumber.

Where have you been?

[Pendragon]

Inside, Outside, Upside Down! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/rainbow16.gif

Who wants to know?

[littlewing53]

willy wonka..he's preparing his next adventure and was wondering if you wanted to attend

where do flowers go when they stop blooming?

[.closed.]

To a blooming marvellous (UK saying) place.

Look out of your window and tell me what you see?

[kiz_paws]

I see man a trying to retrieve his garbage can out of a ditch.

Who do you suppose threw the garbage can in the ditch to begin with (it is a very deep ditch!)??

[Parmenides]

Nobody thrrew it in the ditch. The ditch was just out taking a walk on day and the garbage can fell in.

Why is this clicker thing over here called a mouse?

[kiz_paws]

It is called a mouse because the gentleman who invented the contraption could not spell Muscardinus avellanarius; he also had no teeth, ergo the mere pronunciation of such a thing was mind boggling.

How much chocolate is actually in those bars they call CHOCOLATE BARS?

[Pendragon]

Enough to pass regulations...

Why is anything that really tastes good bad for you? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/witch.gif

[AimusSage]

because historically, what was good was rare, but an abundance of it is not good.

Why must the personality be so annoying?

[Domer121]

because if it was not we would all be the same......and in a world where we are all the same...that, I think, is annoying...

Why must we feel hunger?

[kiz_paws]

We feel hunger as an abstract pain that really comes from the brain not intaking enough poetry within a defined length of time. If this goes on too long, the brain dries up and we inevitably take on the characteristics of Paris Hilton.... **OMG am I snide**

Anyhoo.... next question -- Why does the piano have strings?

[littlewing53]

so that we could all strum along at the campfire....

why is it dark at night?

[.closed.]

Because the sun needs to rest and sleep too.

Where do eagles dare to go?

[kiz_paws]

It is dark at night because the cloak of Loki envelopes the entire sky as he is out on his usual quest of mischief...

What mysteries surround the Bermuda Triangle?

[littlewing53]

it is one of the greatest mysteries why the eagles are drawn to the bermuda triangle...is the waters that heal, or the waters that strengthen...or is it b/c the people who mysteriously dissappear into the triangle only to be rescued by the eagle who dares to challenge the wizard with a wand underneath the deep waters....just what exactly is it?

[AimusSage]

it is one of the greatest mysteries why the eagles are drawn to the bermuda triangle...is the waters that heal, or the waters that strengthen...or is it b/c the people who mysteriously dissappear into the triangle only to be rescued by the eagle who dares to challenge the wizard with a wand underneath the deep waters....just what exactly is it?
Guinea Pigs! A great war ravages the realm :)

What's up with the F key?

[kiz_paws]

The F key is the secret musical note that when played by three instruments at once (namely, the flute, violin, & tuba) can reverse the damages caused by the opening of Pandora's Box...

And because my post and PrinceAndrei's got posted together and his question lost, I shall hereby repeat it:

Where do eagles dare to go?

[Poetess]

other places

why is the sea wet?

[kiz_paws]

The sea is wet because the second moon that once adorned our skies at night melted, and the melted remains are what we call seas.

Why are zebras striped?

[Pendragon]

to drive us crazy wondering if they are black with white stripes or white with black stripes http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/acc31.gif

Why when you acquire a new dog does it take so long to get used to it?

[kiz_paws]

It takes a long time to get used to a new dog because when dogs are born, they are immediately whisked secretly to attend "Keep The Humans Hopping" school...

Why is the core of Earth so darn hot?

[Pendragon]

I'm betting that the Devil could tell you... http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/ruinkai/FIREdevil.gif

Why are some people self-rightious?

[Domer121]

Because they have to make up for how they feel inside..you know, if I say it it must be so....

Why do people have certain Chemistry with some people and not with others?

[kiz_paws]

because in the Hall of the Mountain King there is a document that dictates just who should mingle with who and the Fates see to it that all is fulfilled and any disruption to this order could result in ... in.... well in anything!!

Why is the remote control worshipped in some people's palms.... :flare:

[AdoreroDio]

because they couldn't fit the TV into their palms (generally those who worship the remote [couch potatoes] don't have the strength to)

Why is the sky blue?

[Domer121]

Because it is a reflection of the Ocean...


Why must it get cold in Winter??

[AdoreroDio]

because it gets hot in the summer and summer and winter are enemies and therefor want to be completely different.

Why do people ask stupid questions when they know they will get stupid answers?

[Domer121]

Because they would like to see just how stupid the answer can be...

Why do we even want to know the answers to questions??

[AdoreroDio]

because otherwise there would be no point in even having questions and noone likes having sommething with no point.

what is the point of life?

[Domer121]

to find out what the point of life is...it is all one big quest:)

Who is the big man upstairs??

[kiz_paws]

The big man upstairs is a mis-placed dwarf who was really sent on a mission to the Earth's surface, but he jettisoned himself a bit too far and landed on the moon, where to this day, he sits and eats the cheese thereof.

Why do some posters ramble more than others .... ;)

[Domer121]

Because they have taken many walks and thought about many things and they want to release some of their ideas onto others to get their imput:)

Why do we care what people think??

[kiz_paws]

Because despite our outer tough veneer, inside are really little gentle marshmallows that so hate being stepped on. And as such, we try to protect this from happening.

What causes the wind to howl?

[Domer121]

Because it is the sound of all the people in the world that are not being heard... The howl is the worlds attempt to get us to listen..

Why do we need to sleep??

[ennison]

To knit up the ravelled sleeve of care

How long will it take hedgehogs to evolve into highway-wise beasts

[Pendragon]

Considering how long oppossums have had, probably never...

What is the genral sound made by oppossums?

[Moira]

Well considering there are also mamuts who believe they are oppossums ... there could be a lot of possible sounds ( hi hi .. saw Ice Age 2 and loved it).

Why people eat junk food?

[kiz_paws]

People eat junk food because there are invisible elves that whisper into the ear of the shopper "buy this and you will be instantly cool/successful/beautiful/etc." and the shopper says "yes, I think this is a good thing" and voila -- the junk food winds up in their shopping bags and on its merry way home to do the damage there... !!!

Why does cabbage have to smell so bad when it is cooked??

[Pendragon]

Turnips need the competition! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/hilarious.gif Drumroll, rimshot for Aimus!

Why do Brussel Sprouts even sound yucky? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/hysterical.gif

[B-Mental]

Because you have your hearing aid turned up too high.

Will carrots make you see better?

[andave_ya]

I don't think so... I'd say they stick in your gullet:lol:

Why is x and y the most used symbols in algebra?

[kiz_paws]

Because if they had chosen 'x' and 'o', the nice little students would have amused themselves far more with tic-tac-toe, which is much more appealing, no? :lol:

Why do headaches formulate at the worst possible times?

[B-Mental]

because they are like evolutionary alarm clocks...without a snooze

Do potatoes have eyes?

[Domer121]

In certain cultures.. they look to the potatoes for true vision... those, though, are the cultures that do not do well..

Can people actually have scissors for hands??

[Moira]

Edward scissor hands does. Never met anyone else though ......

Why do we need calendars?

[kiz_paws]

We need calendars for snacking. You know -- there are DATES in every calendar.... :lol:

**ducks cuz a million people are trying to smack me** :lol:

Who invented the rubber boot?

[Shalot]

Charles Goodyear...seriously. Did I just ruin the game?

[andave_ya]

Because if they had chosen 'x' and 'o', the nice little students would have amused themselves far more with tic-tac-toe, which is much more appealing, no?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[kiz_paws]

LoL, I couldn't resist ;)

Did you ruin the game? No, Shalot, not at all.

And to carry on now, what is the texture of an ogre's skin?

[Pendragon]

Before or after they are driven into daylight? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/classic10.gif


Does the moon "Earth" us? :lol:

[Pendragon]

Who knows? Have we seen its backside?

Why do people ask for advice and then get ticked when you give it honestly? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/enraged.gif

[Laindessiel]

If you're referring to a woman's body fat, better hide. Even if it's just baby fat.

What's the difference between "horrendous" and "horrible"?

[toni]

Horrendous is when you see blood everywhere and Horrible, you say when you see me :)


Who killed the orchestra?

[ennison]

The sparrow with his bow and arrow... well he's admitted to one so let's clear up a few more.

If the earth WAS flat would there be a bunch of nutters called The Round Earth Society?
Oops I forgot these questions are supposed to be stupid!!

[kiz_paws]

In the ancient forests of where the earth first began, there exists such a society, and there they remain for all time, except when compelled to answer questions in the games section of LitNet...

Where do mushrooms actually come from, since they are in a weird class of botanical science?

[Pendragon]

And YOU think THAT ONE WASN'T? HAR! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/hilarious.gif

If there is nothing on Mars except reddish rocks, why don't they just go to the Mojave instead? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/mars.gif

[littlewing53]

because little rover also known as the sojourner wasnt equipped with a water bottle

why oh why has the covered wagon not made a come back with all the global warming in the headlines?

[Shalot]

Because they couldn't come up with a good fabric cover --- they wanted something waterproof and fashionable

what exactly is wrong with everyone owning a horse instead of a car with all this global warming talk? I mean, the emissions would be down and all we'd have to worry about is the poo factor, which is completely biodegradable?

[*Classic*Charm*]

Emmissions factor would be down? I dunno about that...Have you ever heard or smelled a horse fart?.:eek2:



Why hasn't anyone created a rotten food alert system? I could have used one before I discovered something black and squishy that used to be fruit in the back of my locker at school today...

[Shalot]

No, I haven't as a matter of fact.

Do you often stick your nose in the general direction of a horse fart?

They haven't created a rotten-food alert system because it wasn't cost efficient to put the "rotten food alert tag" on every piece of fruit or veggie in the produce section.


And the new question is of course: Do you often stick your nose in the general direction of a horse fart?

[*Classic*Charm*]

I try not to, but sometimes I just can't help myself. :goof:

Would you like to try?:brow:

[Reccura]

Well, if I don't know what'll Shalot say (Hello,) but I will! (oy, kidding)

Do you think this thread is stupid as it is?

[AdoreroDio]

Why else would we enjoy it so much?

Is there any meaning to life?

[Domer121]

I like to think so, otherwise why would we get up in the morning?

[AdoreroDio]

IS you question your answer? Never mind. We would get out of bed because otherwise the alarm clock would constantly be ringing in our ears.

Did you even have a stupid question?

[Domer121]

Oooops...sorry...Iforgot which thread I was in...very good answer though:)


Why do we have computers?

[AdoreroDio]

becuase otherwise the keyboards and the mice would be lonely,

Why do some people have bad memorys?

[Domer121]

Because they make the good ones seem gooder...:)

Why must people lose sleep over stupid things?(i.e guys)

[AdoreroDio]

because if they didn't they wouldn't have anything to laugh about later on.

(and I meant bad memories as in:oops I forgot!- not as in: I hate that memory!)

Why do people laugh?

[Domer121]

Because it is a way to release all the energy that is aquired throughout the day....laugh and everything seems a little brighter:)

Why do people fall in love?

[AdoreroDio]

Because otherwise people themselves would not exist (I mean without love you don't get very many marriages and without marriage you don't get very many babies and without babies....you get the point)

Why are you asking so many questions about boys and love?

[Domer121]

I don't know, been on my mind, I suppose....

Why does a sun setting seem so beautiful?

[AdoreroDio]

Because we have nothing prettier to compare it with.

Why do people not smile at strangers?

[Domer121]

Because they think the other person might think it means something else..


Why can't we all just get along?

[AdoreroDio]

because if we all got along we wouldn't have enemies and if we had no enemies we wouldn't have anything to judge true friendship on.

why do I have to get off?

[Domer121]

because afterr spending the amount of time on the computer that you have it is time for you to go back into the world you live in...


Why does time go by so slow when we want it to go fast and vice versa?

[AdoreroDio]

because really it doesn't it's all a trick of the head- when you want time to go fast you constantly watch the clock which makes it seem like it is slow and when you want it to go slow you rarely watch the clock and it seems like it goes fast.

Why do clocks go tick tock and not tock tick?

[Domer121]

I think because long ago when clocks where invented the inventor planned to have it tock tick but right when he put it all together he got startled at the last minute because his tea kettle went off and even though he planned to change it after he had his lunch his wife liked it so much he kept it...


Why do we like watching movies?

[Pendragon]

You have heard of 'subliminal messages"? That’s way. You need to complement Pendragon. You need to compliment Pendragon. You need to….

Why are all the good movies on TV at the same time? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/enraged.gif
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/enraged.gif

[kandaurov]

It is a conspiracy first put to practice by the guys who wanted people to buy TiVo.

Why do cyclists have to look so funny?

[B-Mental]

Because there is no way to look cool on a unicycle.

Whats under my bed?

[kandaurov]

Just a depressed, former TV-Star alligator.

Which is the most ancient proverb?

[littlewing53]

the one with gray hairs...

why does grass grow so fast in the spring and summer?

[kiz_paws]

The grass has to grow fast because during the summer and spring, invisible dragons munch away all night long, and so there must be continual growth, and speedy, to keep these fearsome beasts happy.

Why do I think I have things figured out, only to find that I am not even close to what is and what isn't?

[ennison]

because you are not an alien/ zealot/brainwashed numptie

Why does winter seem so long and then .... suddenly it's gone?

[kandaurov]

Because Spring gets fed up with all the waiting to be her turn and anihilates Winter in cold blood. So much for "season of life".

If a talking lava lamp insulted you, how would you react?

[kathycf]

With astonishment and a prompt pulling of the plug.

Why are candy canes striped?

[kandaurov]

Because they are Waldo's canes.

Why doesn't a peanut taste like peas and nuts?

[whatsername]

cause then they wouldn't taste good

why do people laugh when they hear something funny?

[kandaurov]

Because they have been brainwashed to do so ever since birth.

Who was the first person to look at two trees and think, 'this is a great place to have a swing'?

[kiz_paws]

It wasn't actually a person, but rather, it was The Little Engine That Could. He thought that he could make a swing, and thus, a swing was invented.

Why is door hinge the only thing that rhymes with orange?

[kandaurov]

'Binge' would have attended the "We Rhyme With 'Orange'!" party, had it not been for the hangover from the alcohol drinking the night before. (check word 'binge' to understand this answer better :p)

When is the second coming of Christ anyway?

[littlewing53]

soon and very soon.....is that how the song goes????

[kiz_paws]

Song? Oh ... I was always taught that those words were inscribed on the inner panel of Pandora's box, and to prove it, one must open the box...

Why does a tire store smell so pungent that one can get choked by it?

[kathycf]

So you will be that much more enticed to buy those little air fresheners by the cash register.

Why does my wrist hurt?

[kiz_paws]

Your wrist hurts from too many attempts of Paganini on the violin! (If you have heard some of Paganini's stuff, you will well see why!) ;)

Why are so many people caught up in the goings on in Fake Wrestling Arenas? You know, the fake wrestling that one 'sees' on tv...?? :lol:

[Pendragon]

Take a dive off the top rope through a table onto a bed of tacks and tell me that you "faked" it. "Predetermined outcome" is the words you are looking for. The moves are real enough and they really get hurt. That's why so many die from drug overdoses (pain meds and steriods), and injuries (broken necks, internal injuries, etc.) Why people get so tied up in it, your guess is as good as mine...

Why do so many people over explain things?

[kiz_paws]

Because their brains are full of bits and pieces of useful information and if it is not shared, then it can overflow the brain and cause the person to suffer bouts of speechlessness.

Why aren't bartenders paid more since they are the neighborhood shrink? (remember -- this is: Ask a Stooooopid Question, and that IS one...)

[whatsername]

maybe because they chose to be bartenders not shrinks

What is the meaning of life?

[Shalot]

the meaning and purpose of life is internet forums and post counts, isn't it?. When will I be able to get the whole game section filled up with the oh so interesting contributions of Shalot?

[Laindessiel]

Why do Tom and Jerry always fight?

[kiz_paws]

They seriously got an overdose of the Three Stooges...

Why is there such a demand for old re-runs on television?

[Adolescent09]

The new runs aren't as fast as the old.

Why do black felines sleep more than grey?

[Laindessiel]

(I didn't know that...)

Because black cats more often get a blackout. Yeah? :lol:

Why do bubbles appear whenever we boil water?

[Adolescent09]

Because if they didn't, James Watt would have made us push lunks of rolling steel instead of the lunks of rolling steel pushing us.

Why do male yorkies urinate in circles?

[Laindessiel]

Because if they didn't, James Watt would have made us push lunks of rolling steel instead of the lunks of rolling steel pushing us.

You have a way, dude. You seriously have. :lol: :lol: :lol:


Why do male yorkies urinate in circles?


You have a lot of pets, don't you? Because the female ones don't urinate at all and these males are trying to get them jealous by doing these stunts.

What does adolescent mean?

[Adolescent09]

[QUOTE=Laindessiel;355156]You have a way, dude. You seriously have.QUOTE]
I mean it's ridiculously true though... Think about it :p

It means "a doll" throwing fluore"scent" lamps at the floor and then wondering why it breaks.

Why is red bull yellow?

[Shalot]

A Red Bull is yellow because of this: Garbage In Garge Out....

Got it? What goes in must come out.....:p

Why am I still awake?

[Adolescent09]

because your avatar's open pasted blue eyes never shut like yours aren't shutting right now, and its Friday night. I usually stay up till 4 in the morning on Friday nights..

Why did the corpulent cow grow wings and ascend over China's great wall?

[kiz_paws]

Uhhhh, ta get to the other side? **drum roll**

Why did the internet become so addictive?

[Adolescent09]

Because the intern got his arm trapped in a tarantula's net and said "Hey let's spin around", so that he, along with the adhered net were so fettered together that the two words intern and net soon became internnet and the intern twisted himself until he realized he was anachraphobic (sp?) in the spider's net and the n in net got bounced out so it became internet and we are all so addicted to interns and nets that we log on to big boxed screens to see the same episode on repetitious visits.

Why did the fly say "hi" to the wasp and get offended?

[kandaurov]

'Cause flies and wasps don't mix.

Why did the fox leap over walking cashmere?

[Pendragon]

She was jealous of the one that ate sour grapes, not realizing that that canine died of the cramps.http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/fox.gif

Doesn't that sound like a http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Rooster.gif & http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/cattle.gif story to you http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/acc31.gif

[Adolescent09]

bulls never gever get rammed by cocks.

Do bulls and cocks ever ram into anything?

[papayahed]

Yes, but then it becomes a buzzcock and starts a band.


Why isn't white wine white?

[Adolescent09]

because light grape wine is white, white wine has to find a color of its own and dark grape wine is grape. It's never iridescent :(

Why does the leaning tower lean and say "Holy smokes, I've gotta stop leaning"?

[kandaurov]

Because she could. She was taught to speak by Leonardo DaVinci. He did it all, that little bastard.

What is the eleventh commandment?

[Shalot]

I think the 11th is "Thou Shalt Not question the validity of the original 10"

Is life fair?

[kiz_paws]

Fair is as Springtime in Moscow :)

Who is your favorite athelete and why?

[Reccura]

Ian Thorpe, Venus Williams..... Hahahahahahaaaa, not gonna happen......

What kind of person are you?

[Basil]

First person, singular.

Should dogs be allowed to vote if they think they're people?

[Reccura]

Hello, Basil!

Why not? Only they should wear coat and ties. That should be appropriate.

Do you like Piranhas killing ye?

[kandaurov]

Sure, why not. Better die feeding a Nature's offspring than with a stupid fall or something of the like.

Why did one fly over the cuckoo's nest?

[Pendragon]

Two chickened out... :rolleyes:

Exactly what is "mystery meat"?

[kandaurov]

It's meat coming from a mysterious being. Usually genetic-manipulated faeries.

Where were you when the Berlin Wall was destroyed?

[Bakiryu]

Unborn. Probably in another galaxy?

If a tree falls in a forest, and there's no one around. Does it make a noise?

[kandaurov]

No, because noise is only so because it is perceived by the human hearing apparatus. If no one is there, the waves emitted by the contact of the tree with the ground are not 'translated into' noise, and thus... are no noise at all!



...why is truth so boring?

[kiz_paws]

so that it can give people like us an opportunity to color it up!

Why does Earth only have one moon?

[Bakiryu]

because the other one is invisible!

[kathycf]

Why do I feel so forlorn that Bakiryu forgot to ask a question? :bawling:



(Just kidding, most of us forget at one point or another...;) :p )

[Bakiryu]

Because 'Ryu lost her brain! *t-hee* *searchs*

why are cds round?

[Shalot]

The reason they are round should be obvious from their name. It's a CD, or a Compact Disc. The adjective compact conveys that the disc is round.

Do politicians lie?

[kathycf]

They certainly lie on the floor...I believe it is described as "politicians lie like rugs".

Why are dogs noses wet?

[Bakiryu]

because they can't sweat!


What would happen if monkeys had wings? *t-hee* *flying monkeys!*

[Shalot]

If monkey's had winks they would fly out of my butt

(sorry -- I just had too. I love Saturday Night and the movies like Wayne's World that come into being because of those skits)


Can Monkey's really fly?

[Bakiryu]

Genetically enhanced mokeys could *pouts*

What if ants were 3 FEET TALL?

[kandaurov]

Don't wish that too much. They destroyed my lab, and the whole neighborhood, for that matter :(

What if we had to return to the Paleolithic now?

[Pendragon]

We are in the Pathetic-ologic era, with pathological liars now! How much worse could it be?

Why did the dinosaurs die out?

[kandaurov]

Because a Psychassaur predicted that the world would be ruled by a completely inapt humanoid named Bush, and they preferred to commit mass suicide.

Where is Waldo?

[kathycf]

Where is Waldo?
In your backyard, peering in at you through the window.

Why is Swiss cheese full of holes?

[kandaurov]

Because it's double fun for the rats: before they eat it, they get to have a good time in a maze-like playground.


In your backyard, peering in at you through the window.

Is Waldo a creepy stalker?

[HandyAndy]

Is Waldo a creepy stalker?

Yes,

He will come and get you and take you to his home and tie you up?:alien:

[kathycf]

He might, if he was truly a creepy stalker and not a misguided person who is always asking people to find him.

Why does Waldo wear a silly hat?

[cuppajoe_9]

To keep his pants from falling down. (Or is that a different joke?)

Who's on first?

[RobinHood3000]

Yes.

What's on vacation?

[kandaurov]

No, I don't like junk food.

Did my answer make sense?

[Niamh]

only to the monkey in my basement.


why is there a monkey in the basement?

[kandaurov]

Sorry, forgot to take him with me the last time I went there to sabotage your electric system.

Who on earth still says 'to bring home the bacon'?

[Niamh]

the wolf thats trying to blow down your house

why do socks sometimes have holes

[cuppajoe_9]

It's easier to get your foot into them if they have at least one.

What is the use of a violent kind of delightfulness if there is no pleasure in not getting tired of it?

[werwolfblutlust]

because the demon in my shorts said so :)


why cant we all just get along?

[JaneB]

because there is no fun in that

Why are cookies so good?

[kathycf]

To give the cookie monster something to rave about.


Why are slippers called that--who would want footware to make you slip?

[Bakiryu]

not ice skaters!

why are books square? (they should be round. round!)

[Nightshade]

becase shelves are rectangular

Why is the sky green?

[Niamh]

because blue went on holiday


why do we work?

[Bakiryu]

so we can get paid.

why dogs don't sweat?

[kandaurov]

Because they don't work from 9 to 5.

Why is there money?

[Bakiryu]

so we can buy stuff.

Why are dollars green?

[The Bookinator]

Because all of the presidents had horrible allergies.

What's another word for supercalifragalisticexpiallidocious?

[Bakiryu]

superexpiallidociouscalifragilistic

what would happen if shrimp had wings?

[The Bookinator]

We will official have the chicken of the sea (tuna) and the pigeon of the sea (shrimp).

Sounds a little fishy if you ask me... *ducks rotten vegetables*

Why do people (like me) make bad puns?

[Bakiryu]

so they can get a free vegie dinner ^^ *throws tomato*

why aren't there black dalmatians with white spots?

[The Bookinator]

Looks too much like the bird poo on my car.

Why must birds give gifts of... poo whenever you finish cleaning your car!?Blargh...

[Shalot]

When a bird poops on your car, don't take it personally (or as I like to say, don't take it personal). The only reason the bird pooped on your car is because he couldn't hold it and there were no people walking by.

Why people accidently omit words when they're typing?

[Bakiryu]

they're typing too fast?

why do most asians love math?

[Adolescent09]

because the subject is...how some avid computer geeks might term it...L33t?

Why do fries not like hamburgers?

[kiz_paws]

cuz when the wee potatoes were in the ground, they were deathly afraid of being stomped on by the cows, who are the beasts that contribute (nobly) to the making of hamburger, and the fear lingered.

Why do umbrellas always have to blow themselves inside out just when you need them most?

[kathycf]

Umbrellas are just naturally ill tempered and somewhat unreliable. Comes with having a handle in the center of your being. :p

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

[Bakiryu]

'cause 7-8-9! :lol:

what's a bannapple?

[kathycf]

A very confused lemon.

Why do stars shine?

[Bakiryu]

because they rubbed on baby oil!

If oranges were blue would they be called blues?

[kandaurov]

No, they would be called Jane.

Who framed Roger Rabbit?

[pinkmoon]

His grandfather.

Why is the sky blue?

[kandaurov]

Because it is Chuck Norris' favourite colour.

Why do caged birds sing?

[Moira]

Actually they are cursing those who caged them .....

Why do people eat rice?

[Pendragon]

You want they should eat cake? Seems to me da last dame dat came up wit dat idea lost her head! http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/tiere/c090.gif

Why do mosquitoes exist”

[.closed.]

If they don't know and generations of Mosquitoes are still trying to figure it out, how am I? They are quite good at spreading infectious diseases though....

Why do cats chase their tales?

[The Bookinator]

because they love a good story.

Why is Chuck Norris' favorite color blue?

[kandaurov]

Because it reminds Chuck Norris of the colour of the universe. You know, the one he created.

If you had to choose an author (dead or alive) to keep you company in a desert island, which one would it certainly not be?

[The Bookinator]

Edgar Allen Poe. I love the guy's work, don't get me wrong, but he seems too depressing to have a good conversation with. Not to mention he likes too hallucinate a little too much.

What's your all-time favorite commercial/ad?

[kathycf]

Any ad that doesn't feature Chuck Norris.

Why does hair gel exist?

[kiz_paws]

Hair gel exists exclusively to attract hornets and bees and swollen allergy noses.

Why must there be such a thing as ALLERGIES! :sick:

[ktd222]

Because it gives people the sense that there is still something yet to be surpassed.

Can two rights make a wrong?

[JaneB]

So dogs, cats, and other hairy animals have a reason to exist

Why must we 'FALL' in love?

[symphony]

like newton said, its gravitation.

why did newton invent calculas?

[JaneB]

To torment me

why is the grass always greener on the other side?

[kandaurov]

Yes, if Chuck Norris wants it so.

Why is everybody so down on Chuck, earth's mighty savior?

[Layka]

My friend says cause John Cena is better.

Why must Chuck Norris round house kick everyone?

[kandaurov]

That's his way of saying 'How do ye do?'. Needless to say, Chuck Norris is a true gentleman and never misses an oportunity to be polite.

How can the chicken be the closest thing we have to a dinossaur?

[HandyAndy]

Because cooked it tastes good!

Why does chickens resemble dinosaurs?

[kathycf]

Chuck Norris wills it so.

Why is kandaurov a fan of Chuck? ;)

[HandyAndy]

Maybe because he is thee Chuck Norris!

Why is Chuck so popular?

[kandaurov]

Because he has threatened almost every human being to like him. Somehow, suggesting the prospect of getting a roundhouse kick in the head, torso and in each limb, all in one single blow, is effective enough.

Why did Chuck Norris decide that the british should drive on the left?