Ask A Stupid Question, Get A Stupid Answer

[motherhubbard]

It worked hard at its versatility trying to catch up to hemp

Why do we have to pay 100+ bucks for a college textbook that never even gets opened?

[stephofthenight]

the same reason we pay profesiors that we hate, and dred there class...

who came up with the letter "h" i mean honestly who came up with the alphabeet?

[kiz_paws]

It was a little man with a grissled mess of a beard who thought that he could make a few dollars trying to sell little shapes he devised, claiming that these shapes were based on Greek, and the other intelligent languages that came long before we were here. And people bought into that notion and here we are today. No worse for wear...

**Sigh** I hate coming up with "stooooopid" answers... :p

Why do dogs walk on all fours when they are every bit as smart as a man, who walks on two legs?

[stephofthenight]

reply so that man underesmates there intelgence?


why are we asking stupid questions again, i thought the goal was to try and make our minds more intelgent?

[RoCKiTcZa]

because to become more intelligent we should get to know everything possible for us to know--like how to ask stupid questions!!!

Was that answer stupid?

[Shurtugal]

decribe stupid.

what does stupid exactly mean? (i know what it means i just want to see people perspective)

[Pendragon]

People who lack the ability to know when they have made a complete fool of themselves and have the right to remain silent but not the ability...


Do you know such people? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Yo.gif

[BlueSkyGB]

I try not to think about my Ex....:lol:

Why can't library patrons read signs and notices?

[stephofthenight]

because its a libray, who reads in those? lol

why is it penutbutter? there is no butter in it

[Granny5]

Because peanutgoo doesn't sound good.

Is butter derived from the word butt?

[stephofthenight]

indeed because it is butt her...kissing her butt or buttering her up...basicly to make better...i guess

who came up with bingo?

[Shalot]

It was a farmer who had a dog?

why are butterflies called butterflies? Is it because they have big butts or because they like butter? Sorry I can't get awat frome the whole butter butt thing.

[stephofthenight]

because they are flys that got stuck in molded butter and there wings where extended by butter and they landed on a flower and thats how they get there ccolor

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop, and why is it an owl that trys?

[Granny5]

how many licks it takes to get to the cente of a tootsie roll pop is one of the world's greatest mysteries and what else do owls have to do

Do horse flys really look like horses?

[BlueSkyGB]

No, but their bite is just as bad as getting bitten by a horse.

Have you ever see a bumblebee bumble?

[Pendragon]

Naw. But I saw a Frenchfry one time... (rimshot!)

Ever try to figure out how a "slim chance" and a "fat chance" can be the same thing? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Duh.gif

[stephofthenight]

no, but thank you pen now i will ponder on that ALL DAY...

why do we spend hours thinking of the stupidest things

[formality hater]

because the stupid things do not usually fall out of trees.

Why cannot we go for shortcuts?(e.g,Why do we have to write "eye" when we can easily go away with "i"?)

[rabid reader]

Aye that is one to ponder yet written langauge when put to paper or parchment is art, and art is beauty dependant on detail. If you wish to produce sub-par art, and choose to promote degeneration of art, then I thin it is far that you recieve the critizisms thrown at all sub-par artists.

How did cows survive in the wild?

[stephofthenight]

they ate grass, had kids, ate grass, had more kids

yeah thats about right


how do cochroaches live..

[rabid reader]

one day at a time.

where is my wallet?

[stephofthenight]

lol well ur wallet went on a vacation with me at the shoe store....here it is...i also cleaned it for you so its light again :) no need to thank me.


why dont guys understand a girls love for shoes

[rabid reader]

becasue men are sane.

Why can't women let men watch sports in peace?

[stephofthenight]

we do...or i do, lol but then again the last guy i dated was when i was like 12 so i dunno..

why cant girls play football

[barbara0207]

No time. Around here they're all playing soccer.

Why is the orange called an orange even if it isn't orange but still green?

[Shurtugal]

'cause people aren't as inteligent as us here on litnet.

how often do you come on litnet?

[stephofthenight]

lol why dont we go with how often are you off litnet...i have a healthy balance of litnet and myspace...well from9pm-3am 11am-6pm im on here steady, but i pop in and out othertimes...i live here basicly lol

same ?

[Pendragon]

Sometime you tell the days
By the bottle that you drink
Sometimes when you're alone
All you do is think

I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
I'wanted: Dead or Alive...

Thanks, Bon Jovi!

Like the song?

[rabid reader]

nah not really, I much prefered Seger's turn the page, really captures, life on the road much more poetically imo:


On a long and lonesome highway, east of omaha.
You can listen to the engine moaning out its one lone song
You can think about woman, or the girl you knew the night before,
But your thoughts will soon be wandering, the way they always do.
When your riding sixteen hours and theres nothing much to do
And you dont feel much like riding, you just wish the trip was through
http://radioblogclub.com/open/126509/turn_the_page/Bob%20Seger%20-%20Turn%20The%20Page
great song!!!!

anyways.

What does soot taste like?

[stephofthenight]

burnt toast....like realy realy burnt toast

why do we build things out of realy nice wood just to pain it white

[Shurtugal]

cause we are stupid... gosh haven't you figured that out yet. just look at the questions we ask!

johny depp or freddie highmore?

[Pendragon]

The stupid answer is: Do you know you're on the wrong thread or are you off your threads entirely? Cor. Call 'er t'nurse! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Nirse.gif

How do you know if you are the reflection or the person?

[formality hater]

Try capturing your mirror-image on a screen.If you fail to get anything,you are a person.If succeed,you're the reflection.:)

Why do weeds find their abode in our gardens?

[barbara0207]

Actually, they don't just 'find' it but they're put there on purpose by evil gnomes. These abominable creatures will then sit in the trees laughing their heads off when they see you weeding and holding your aching back! Listen, can you hear them ...?

Why are bananas never straight?

[BlueSkyGB]

They hang out with the wrong crowd.....:lol:

Why do dogs like to roll in the trash?

[papayahed]

They want to smell better...

Why do fools fall in love?

[rabid reader]

nothing better to do

Why is cow milk more popular then goat milk?

[kiz_paws]

It isn't. The soybean is gaining momentum ... ;)

Why aren't folks reading the sodium content in foods these days?

[rabid reader]

Well I am not a hundred percent curtain most people can read :D

Why such a big fuss on obesity? If it is a choice as soceity suggests, why can't we accept it?

[Pendragon]

Dang right! Says the man who must buy his shirts at a store that stocks his size. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/YouFigure.gif

Why do they yell about obesity, when the diet plans cost around $70 a week per one person? It's too expensive to eat healthy!

[Shurtugal]

because they think fat people are stupid enough to buy stuff that exspensive.

why do your relatives sometimes give you the most enbarising stuff?

[Granny5]

Because relatives want something to laugh about when you're not around.



Why are my missing keys always in the last place I look?

[Pendragon]

You quit looking when you find them... :rolleyes:

Why does the thing that makes you want to fully vent your feelings most happen in a place where you have to be quiet, such a a courtroom, having been pulled over by a cop, in church, at a funeral, etc.? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/YouTalkintoMe.gif

[kiz_paws]

Oh .... there are places where one MUST be quiet??? :alien:

How can one sharpen their skills at writing creatively without losing their souls in the battle? :crash:

[Granny5]

So the drug companies can make money selling ulcer meds.

Why is it the only day I have to go swimming is "too hot" for the ones I want to go swimming with?

[Pendragon]

They must be from Lake Woebegone, Minnesota...

Why does the jerk who cuts you off in traffic turn out to be an undercover policeman on his way to a drug bust? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Cop-1.gif

[Shalot]

Because all occifers are jerks


Why do plants droop when you over water them and droop when you underwater them? How are you supposed to know whether to water them or not?

[Bakiryu]

It's easy! Just find a local plant psychic with knowledge on plant telepathy and all your plant problems will be solve. You should know that plants are only an illusion the matrix presents us......


Why can't I stop watching Keanu Reeves's Movies?

[Shalot]

I can't think of a stupid answer to this question - is it because Keaneu Reeves is inexplicably watchable? I mean, he manages to suck you in and you know there's something wrong there, but you like him despite your intuition. He looks weird, but somehow he's hot. They way he talks is creepy and bizarre, but sexy all the same. That's why you can't stop watching.

why do "natural" foods cost so much more than all those foods with the high fructose corn syrup and other preservatives and chemicals added to them? And why is it necessary to put a sweetener such as high fructose corn syrup in vegatable soup?

[Pendragon]

Being healthy along with everything else, can kill you! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/TheGrimReaperBlack-1.jpg

Why do perfectly sane people think tofu tastes like meat?

[barbara0207]

Amazing picture, Pen!

They repeat it like a mantra every morning: tofu tastes like meat - tofu tastes like meat - ... - ... - ...

Why do these tofu-eaters look so pale? (No offense to tofu-eaters on the forum!:D )

[stephofthenight]

because well i dunno. im not pale.

who came up with the alphabet?

[browneyedbailey]

you are what you eat!

what is it with teen guys and teen girls(no offence)?

[Shalot]

Who came up with the alphabet? I don't have a clue. I am thinking maybe it was a greek manly man with a gambling problem.

As far as teen girls and guys, I chalk it up to whoremoans.

Why do the weekends go by so fast and why do the week days just drag on?

[Shurtugal]

so we enjoy what we the short time we have of freedom.

why are we attracted to opposete? ( your short, you marry someone tall. he's fat your thin... it goes on)

[rabid reader]

agreement is boredom, conflict breeds passion.

Where are my shoes?

[Shalot]

your shoes are in the spot they were left by the last person/animal/entity that handled them. If you go to that spot, you will find them.

Where are my socks? I put them in the washer but some pairs of socks came out missing a match. Where did those go?

[rabid reader]

the wonderful world of Narnia

What is addiction?

[Pendragon]

The pathetic inability to tell a tiny roll of tobbacco that it isn't the center of the universe...

When was the last time you read about a weedhead going off and killing a bunch of people as opposed to an alcholic, who may purchase his addiction lawfully, and pay government taxes on it? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Glug.gif

[Shurtugal]

um... never.

where did i put my brain. i lost it the other day and having a dreadful time finding it.

[motherhubbard]

look on your shoe. YOu wouldn't believe how often I've found mine there

Why are the water pipes made of toxic PVC?

[hedbanger]

Because the government hates everyone.

What day is tomorrow? :F

[Bakiryu]

Apple juice and peanut butter day! let's make an apple-butter smoothie while we hold the giraffe and unwind the spinning turtled into clocks!

why can't i understand math? *other reason than me being an idiot i suppose*

[Shurtugal]

ah, you ain't an idiot. um... maybe you are just to smart that simple math is just confussing.

why do teenagers have such a reputation?

[Bakiryu]

because they deserve it.

Why do old people like prunes?

[barbara0207]

Do they now? Thank God, then I'm not old. :D

How does Baki cook without having any food in the house?

[Pendragon]

I'm not sure, but to this mountain hick, tofu ain't natural and never will be...

If meat is murder why do some people still consume fish? They made from plants? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Angry_shark_2.gif

[Bakiryu]

Because does people think that there are too many fish to care.

Why don't i know how to cook?

[rabid reader]

impatience or forgetfulness

Why does my stomach hurt

[Shurtugal]

you ate 2 month exspired food, and are now experencing food poisoning.

why can't being sick be fun?

[Bakiryu]

it is! When else will people cook, do chores, and do your work for you! I love being sick except for the needles, herbal teas and leeches. And the snails too. I hate snails.

Why does my mum thinks putting a snail in my wart will make it go away?

[hedbanger]

Because she is a witch-doctor clone, not your real mother.

If I lick my finger and stick it in an electrical socket, what's going to happen?

[Shurtugal]

you'll be a very shocking sight, no?

my guinea pig is cute, why?

[RoCKiTcZa]

because you think so, and I don't...

why am I so happy?

[hedbanger]

You don't know any better.

What time is it?

[RoCKiTcZa]

allow me to consult my watch first.

however, i've left it back home. could anyone please get it for me?

[hedbanger]

Sure! I'll toss it to you. It should fly though your window within a few hours.

Why do fools fall in love?

[RoCKiTcZa]

so you mean i'm a fool.

Will I get left by the bus this afternoon or not?

[rabid reader]

of course you wont

Will this pickle be juicy or crispy?

[Pendragon]

Juicey. I love bread and butter pickles!

If a plane crashes on the border between Canada and the United States which country is responsible for the burial of the survivors?

[Granny5]

Pen, that's as old as my granny!! No one buries survivors.


Why can't I sleep?

[Haven]

You are a vampire. [Look in the mirror. See you are not there :)]


Are we [the creatures of planet Earth] alone in the multiverse?

[Shurtugal]

describe alone.

if you had a twin that was the exact opposite, what would it be like?

[rabid reader]

it would be like having a sibling that looked like you.

What does red and blue make?

[Shurtugal]

red an blue makes red and blue mixed together... it makes purple!

what makes books so appitizing?

[Haven]

peanut butter




why is rain wet?

[kitten]

to cool the sun down.

why does my cat wind herself around my ankles?

[Shalot]

Because you are her captor and she is attempting to assassinate you

Why do we have to pay taxes?

[RoCKiTcZa]

Because everyone's got money to pay for 'em

Got any?

[Shalot]

are you asking if I have any money? It depends on what you call money. I am thinking probably not.

Could someone go pee for me? I'm too lazy to go myself you see.

[Agravis]

Give me the toilet first.

How many people should be doing toilet today?

[kitten]

depends on what your definition of "today" is.

why are egg yolks yellow?

[Pendragon]

Isn't that the usual color of craven cowards who hide like chickens?

If water is 2 parts oxygen, why can't we breathe it? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Blues.gif

[kitten]

you can't breath in blue.

why is there no such thing as a unicep or monocep? there is a bicep, tricep, and quadricep...

[Shurtugal]

because the words weren't cool enough to write.

why are friends friendly but someturn around and gut your intestons threw the back all the while smiling saying, "aren't we such good friends?!"

[kitten]

this is because cowards lie.

why is water from a hose cold?

[>M<]

Because it's not warm. Why does this thread have 107 pages?

[kitten]

because there aren't enough posts to make it 472 pages.

Where did the time go?

[Granny5]

Time flowed under the bridge.

How does Pendragon make all those paper dolls?

[kitten]

with love and encouragement.

do the french really not have a word for entrepreneur?

[Pendragon]

I thought that was their word! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Franz.gif

Why do people affect accents of languages they cannot speak?

[kitten]

Acting is an art.

why isn't spandex a privilege that needs to be earned?

[Crapbuster]

Why, would you want to earn it?

Tell me, what excuses can I make up to stay in front of the computer until after 3:00?

[Pendragon]

The usual line of BS generally does it.

Why do people think logical deductions are mental powers?

[Shurtugal]

logical de-what? sorry don't know what word means and am at grandparents, they ain't got a dictionary.

why is it when you need something you don't have it?

[Bakiryu]

because life is usually that way.

Why can't i stop myself from speaking in russian at home when no one knows what the hell i'm saying?

[barbara0207]

Seems to be the only way to annoy your people without getting into trouble. (Btw, what are you supposed to speak?)

Why do you need something urgently about a fortnight after you've thrown it away assuming you would never need it again?

[Pendragon]

For the same reason you alienate yourself from someone you figure you will never think of again and then mope about them ad infinitum...

Why is it that a stage-whisper always sounds louder than a shout?

[Shurtugal]

they have microphones to applify it... but i know these boys and the "whisper" but you can here them across the room.

ok, some people say that if they don't have the person they love with them they'll die. do you think that's true?

[kitten]

of course it's not true, unless the person they love controls the life support switch.

why am i hungry again 30 minutes after i finish eating chinese food?

[Haven]

Don't take it personally... it is the same for everyone. Chinese food doesn't mean to be a 'fast food' lol



Choose an animal that you would like to be and if you like why :)

[Shurtugal]

dolphin... for several reasonsi, one is i love the water, they're mammels, they are very playful and friendly yet they can be vicious if promoted.

if there was one thing that you could make from your imagineation happen, what would that be?

[kiz_paws]

It would be to have the capacity to ask a stupid question!

Why is it that when I have FINALLY thrown out a piece of nonsense, my hubby will always inevitably ask me for this thing months later.... :flare:

[Shurtugal]

merphies law, merphies law.

why do smilies lighten the mood?

[Bakiryu]

They're KAWAI!!!


(Btw, what are you supposed to speak?)
(Depends either English, Spanish and sometimes japanese)

Why do people like shrimp?

[kiz_paws]

Cuz they tickle their tongues?

Why is the sea mostly salty?

[Shurtugal]

'cause it ain't fresh.

why must i go?

[Bakiryu]

because you can't stay?

why must i swim?

[Shurtugal]

'cause you can't stay dry?

why must i answer so stupidly?

[kiz_paws]

because that is what you are paid to do

why am I so doggone tired!

[Pendragon]

The dog's gone and you chased it off! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Duh.gif

Why are patients records availible to everyone but the patient? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Doc.gif

[kitten]

the patients can't read the writing.

why do my knees creak?

[Weeping Willow]

Well fine question indeed..
you see when the subatomical sparks in the subtropical area
under the lower hinges of the intershallow crossbone start ache it a symptom for a very rare yet treatable deasese called intermonitzipalik krongaction interior which is very bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla

ok ?


why do we count sheep and not cows?

[Shalot]

because cows are too dumb to count




How is it that cats hate water, and yet love tuna and fish when they have no inclination to get wet and catch the fish?

[Shurtugal]

they ain't that wise.

you tuck into your nice warm bed that you have been sleeping in for years, you here a creak from done stairs evan though ones else is home that day, but you close your eyes and fall asleep. but when your at a house that you never been to and something creaks downstairs, and evan though you know that some people areat the home you freak out. why?

[Shalot]

because the dreamcatcher you made at camp finally broke

How come we get on the world wide web via the internet and not on the world wide net via the interweb?

[Literary_Cat]

"42."

Why does the last page leave me feeling so dispirited?

[Bakiryu]

BECAUSE YOU NEED TO RE-READ THE FIRST!

why am i so nervous about my first day at school tomorrow?

[kitten]

because you didn't take the tags off your new clothes yet.

why is it so cold in August?

[Pendragon]

Cold? In August?Where?Not here, that's for sure!

Why do they call them "dog days"? Why not "cat days"? Cats are thermal heated?

[Granny5]

Because cats are smart enough to get in the shade, dogs just lay out in the sun.


Why would anyone kill a chicken for supper when there is a perfectly good supermarket in town?

[Pendragon]

Youse tink maybe da chickens down dere committed suicide or something? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/DaGodfeather.jpg

Why do people describe everything you haven't tasted as "It tastes just like chicken."?

[kitten]

because everything DOES taste like chicken - it's the universal flavor.

why is gold yellow?

[The Bookinator]

Because 7 8 9? Do I look like Picasso to you?

Who is the coolest bearded person in the world?

[kiz_paws]

Paris Hilton

Why do people get tattoes on areas of their bodies that stretch and form new designs later on in life?

[Bakiryu]

SO they can have a new one a few years down the road!

Why is Eminem so fascinating?

[Granny5]

Because people are fascinated by poor white trash that's made it big.

Why don't they make airplanes out of the same stuff they make the little black boxes out of?

[Pendragon]

Too obvious for them, I suppose.

Why do doctors tell you one thing and then their staff does the opposite, and somehow you end up being the one that's wrong? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Doc.gif

[Shurtugal]

it's called money, honey, money.

why do people ask stupid questions?

[Granny5]

for some of us that is the only questions we can come up with.


Why is it so darn hot today?

[BibliophileTRJ]

because the Earth has broken free of it's orbit and is plunging directly into the sun.

If olive oil is made from olives and peanut oil is made from peanuts; where does baby oil come from?

[Shurtugal]

oh your terible!

but let us see the next posters answer. :D

[kitten]

their pores, of course!!

why isn't napping mandatory by law?

btw, bibliophile, HOT avatar!!! :)

[Bakiryu]

It is indeed very hot. (Stares)

Why isn't there such thing as a PURPLEBERRY?

[Shurtugal]

because blue berries are purpleberries in descise.

why must we use the word HOT to describe how someone looks?

[Bakiryu]

because Americans are weird like that!

Will love conquer this evil empire?

[Shalot]

Does love ever conquer evil? I mean really. Is America the evil empire you are referring to?

[Bakiryu]

Nope. that's just random lote weirdness. It just sounds hilarious.

Would you wear a Vader mask for a full day for 50000?

[Shalot]

hell yeah I would. Sometimes when I go to a public restroom, and I see those motion activated paper towel dispensers, I run my hand across the sensor so that the towel will come out and I pretend like I have force powers and that's what making the paper towel come out. So, I am going to wear that vader helmet and go to one of those bathrooms and hangout all day and show how I can use the force.

Is that a weird thing to do?

[kiz_paws]

Heck no, everyone does it out here in the Prairies! :lol:

How come it says the "B" word under Baki's avatar?? :sick:

[RoCKiTcZa]

That sort of scares me, seriously.

Do you fear that you'll have it under yours too?

[Shalot]

did she really get banned? or did she just type the word "Banned" in her description thingie? oh no!

[kitten]

how do lava lamps work?

[Pendragon]

Eruption. As the people of Pompeii found out a little too late…

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/quack.gif

Have you ever seen a candlefly?

[kitten]

no, i think the wax would get everywhere!

why is guinness so dark?

[Shurtugal]

what is blooming heck is guinness?

why does kitten have an animal name but a new age avie?

[kitten]

what is blooming heck is guinness?

why does kitten have an animal name but a new age avie?

guinness is the best beer in the world. :D

and i don't know why my avie and my name don't match. i'll work on that. :crash:

Why do cows moo?

[Granny5]

Cause they don't know the words.


What is o'lay as in oil of o'lay? How do they extract the oil?

[kitten]

it's like olestra and makes you o'sick. :sick:

why does copper turn green?

[NikolaiI]

photosynthesis.

i am really bad at this game, i can't think of a question. i'll keep trying, but i just wanted to post this since i repeat-answered the oil o'lay one.

...what does 'knights in armor' mean?

[aldana]

i'm not sure...ancient people walking around in really unconfortable suits:alien: :alien:

Why is a boxing ring square?:eek:

[Pendragon]

Because da fight ain't, capicse? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/DaGodfeather.jpg

What's with all these TV adds for such personal stuff? They run out of magazines?

[Shurtugal]

yeah, my younger sister can't watch some tv stations just because of them.

and to answere your question it's cheaper to show on tv then to print a magazine.

why do we have to out heart have to live when everything else is dead?

[Shalot]

because that's how it goes

Why is it so hard for some people to flush?

[Granny5]

because some people just like to share.


Is that really a happy look on Bob's wifes face?

[kiz_paws]

No, she is merely grinning and bearing it! :)

Is it true that Oil of Olay is from Mexico?

[Shalot]

No, she is merely grinning and bearing it! :)

Is it true that Oil of Olay is from Mexico?

:lol: I don't know.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

[Pendragon]

A knife. Had to have something to slice it with! :rolleyes:

Do you get the idea that that stuff is also messing with Bob's brain, what with that idiotic grin?

[NikolaiI]

it's not really a person, it's an android

does anyone else eat carrots as breakfast food?

[barbara0207]

Sure. Rabbits.

Who on earth is BOB?

[Shalot]

You know barb, Bob Upndowninthewater. Where have you been? Get with the program toots (is that how you spell that? :confused: )



If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

[Granny5]

my mother-in-law must be the fourth person!!!


Why don't the Viagra band invite Bob to join?

[Shurtugal]

why don't who invite what to join?

why did i have to pull my neck?

[Shalot]

well it's better than pulling your own finger I guess :shrug:

And while we're on the subject: Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell?

[Shurtugal]

i don't know really. i don't think so.

would you want to run after a storm to get awsome pics?

[The Bookinator]

No. If I want cool looking pictures of the sky. . . Photoshop, baby, photoshop. Besides, I've lived in KS. You usually don't want to chase after a storm there because most likely it will turn around and chase you back over the rainbow.

What exactly IS the function of a rubber duck? (Thank you Mr. Weasley!)

[Pendragon]

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/ROFL.gif

Company as a child, memories as an adult.

How rapidly does "rapidly desolving toliet paper" desolve?

[The Bookinator]

Depends on whether or not you're part of that 20&#37; of people enjoying themselves on the shiny white throne.

Why are potty jokes so amusing?

[Pendragon]

The general population of Earth is so full of it....

Why do people look at each other as if the next person is a raving lunitic?

[RobinHood3000]

Because one of them probably is. =P

How does one burn the land and boil the sea? :cool:

[Bakiryu]

With a great, roaring fire! Perhaps a meteorite?

Why does my flashlight always turn off when I'm reading with it?!!!

[The Bookinator]

Because the flashlight thinks the book you're reading is boring and keeps falling asleep.

When are the aliens going to take over the world?

[RoCKiTcZa]

today. i'm one of them.

What do you think will I get out of watching a lunar eclipse?

[Pendragon]

Moonburn.

What's another name for "Roget"?

[Haven]

Monsieur Thesaurus


Why do nettles sting?

[Bakiryu]

They joined the band as soon as it was formed! (sting= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=locIxsfpgp4)

What lies beyond undeath?

[Pendragon]

You don't vant to know! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Drac.gif


Vould Dracula eat steak?

[NikolaiI]

Yes, but he prefers dead poets...

Is Pendragon some kind of zombie?

[Shalot]

No silly - he's some kind of dragon.

Why is it called "Permanent Press" called permanent
if you still have to iron or tumble dry it again?

[Hyacinth42]

Because "almost permanent press" sounds funny.

Why do so many people say ATM machine and PIN number?

[Poppy]

because AT Machine and PI number just don't sound right.


Where does dust come from?

[Pendragon]

Dust Bunnies... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/DustBunny.gif


Why do tears fall?

[barbara0207]

Because they want to emulate their super hero, the rain.

Whatever happened to Pen's old avatar, the wonderful pen dragon? :(

[Bakiryu]

it ran away to Bangladeesh for Yom Kippur.

Why do angels sing?

[The Bookinator]

It all started when God got bored one day and decided to start a band. . .

*sigh* Why do I hafta clean my room. . .

[Pendragon]

Because the workers are on strike... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/WC.gif


Why do I keep coming here?

[barbara0207]

Because you're like Robbie Williams: You 'love to entertain' us. :D (Thanks)

Why do wolves howl to the moon?

[Pendragon]

Sunburned throats.

Why are we here? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Brain.gif

[Bakiryu]

because we are not there!

What's the meaning of rice? :D

[symphony]

to move upward ;)

whats the meaning of "meaning"?

[Pendragon]

to mean http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Duh.gif

Is there life after LitNet?

[barbara0207]

You ought to know as you claim to be dead. :D

Where do we go from here?

[kiz_paws]

To Route 66?

Why do so many books and movies dwell on this magical Route 66?

[Pendragon]

It was once The American Road, before I-40, Chicago to Los Angeles. Think of it as a modern Oregan Trail. Now in many places abandoned, ghost stories abound.

Why do ghosts facinate people?

[Shalot]

because people want to know what Elvis is doing

Why aren't there more federal holidays and how come not everyone gets to take those federal holidays off????

[RoCKiTcZa]

Because I must too, but most of the time I leave the cleaning to whoever happens to wander into it.

So what if I don't clean it myself? ;)

[Pendragon]

So what if they declare it a hazardous waste deposal area? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Judge.gif

Why do Judges wear those black robes?

[NikolaiI]

Because they have cold hearts, and they need to absorb as much warmth as possible...or they are skinny.

Why are there cats that are big, and cats that are small?

[RoCKiTcZa]

Because there are medium sized cats too?

(that counts as a question.)

[Pendragon]

Cats, Kits, Kittens, and "That darn cat!" http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/cheetah.gif

Does Bigfoot really exist?

[barbara0207]

Sure, haven't you seen his footsteps behind your house?

Question is: What was he looking for??

[Pendragon]

I was given to understand that the famous/infamous Patterson film, that has been declared genuine by at least some scientists, shows a female...
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Doc.gif

With all the wild, untamed wilderness out there, why do people think they know everything that is out there?

[barbara0207]

Because otherwise they would go around worryin' and frettin', scared out of their wits ...

But why is it that people are scared of the unknown?

[CrazyDiamond]

Because they don't know what it is.

Why are people scared of the dark?

[Shurtugal]

well, evan though i'm not, i guess becuase you can't see yourself, so you don't think you know what your doing.

why must we grow up, fisically that is?

[CrazyDiamond]

Because if we were to grow down, we'd disappear!

Why can't dog's fly?

[barbara0207]

Well, it's all in the genes, isn't it? (Hi Shurtu! :D )

Why is that you grow something big and red on your chin/nose/forehead, whenever you've got an important appointment/date/appearance on stage/ ...?

Edit: Crazy beat me to it. My answer to the 'dogs can't fly' question: Because they are too scared.

[Shalot]

Because you desperately want them to remember you and one way to ensure that is by growing a huge pus-filled zit.

If the sign says, "No shoes, No shirt, No service" does this mean that you can go in wearing shoes, a shirt and no pants and get served???? It didn't say anything about pants har har har

[barbara0207]

Because you desperately want them to remember you and one way to ensure that is by growing a huge pus-filled zit.

If the sign says, "No shoes, No shirt, No service" does this mean that you can go in wearing shoes, a shirt and no pants and get served???? It didn't say anything about pants har har har

:lol: :lol: :lol: No answer possible until we've done a proper scientific study.

Why don't we all try?

[Bakiryu]

Ok, but I'll blame y'all if I get sent to jail for showing up in a shirt, sandals and bikini bottoms :lol:

[Pendragon]

Why wish you luck? There is no try...http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/yoda.gif

Wouldn't you think Yoda would have figured the Sith out in 900+ years?

[RoCKiTcZa]

Why care? Let him figure it out himself ;)

Why is SciFi so enchanting?

[BulletproofDork]

Because it's so disturbing to the status quo.


Why do cats like to sleep?

[farnoosh]

because they have nothing else to do.

where do clouds go in the morning?

[barbara0207]

To my house - to rain on me.

Why does it always rain on me?

[Bakiryu]

maybe you forgot to take a bath! *gasps!*

can ducks duck?

[NikolaiI]

of course! they duck into the water to get fish...
i wonder how they got their name.

does a computer virus sleep anywhere?

[Bakiryu]

yup. we lurk around all those files that download into your computer by THEMSELVES :yawnb:

is there such a think as cheese flavored butter?

[BulletproofDork]

Yes. It's called cream chesse.

:) I don't know if that's a stupid answer.


Why does Pepsi taste EXACTLY like Coca Cola?

[Pendragon]

You think it DOES!!! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Yo.gif


Why do they sell coffee beans that have aready been though the digestive system of an animal as "Great tasting coffee!", not to mention "highly expensive", when you are drinking prosessed animal doo?

[*Classic*Charm*]

The company had to pay alot for that animal doo to save it from becoming fertilizer so you could have it to enjoy right from the comfort of your home. It's a tricky business, that animal doo industry!

Why does the macaroni and cheese box say "made with premium aged cheddar" when the cheese comes in powdered form?

[Bakiryu]

the cheese was so old it died and turned to dust :sick:

If ducks could duck would they choose to duck or would they NOT duck because they're ducks?

[farnoosh]

I think they will duck because what could they do if they dont duck because they are ducks:lol: :lol: (baki you are going ducky):lol: :lol: :lol:

do monkeys run?

[Pendragon]

I think Monk keys jingle, right Friar Pentuck? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Monk_walks.gif

{Pentuck, mumbling under his breath: "Faith and now they be watering down of me brandy. If the good Saint Dustin would but grant me the strength o' Samson for a day, Odd's Blood, but Moby Dave would pay pentience for his accurse flagon!} "Er-ah What were ye saying, Lad? Of course a Monk's Keys jingle when he walks about. Only have a few here in Sherewood, but they jingle, enow!"

{Rest of the Merryfolk in loud stage whisper: "To be sure, the way you stagger about drunken all week!}

Can a flea fly or a fly flee?

[RoCKiTcZa]

if there's a flue for the fly to flee from and the flea to fly from.

why are flies so important? (According to science, that is.)

[farnoosh]

because there are tons of them .

what does a cow do during the evening?

[Granny5]

They watch out for cow tippers.


Why is it so hard to think of a stupid question?

[Bakiryu]

because, like my da says There are not stupid questions, only stupid people (j/k)

why aren't there left angles in geometry?

[Pendragon]

There are, but the sage wisdom of mathematic calls them "right" regardless of direction. Thus a biseceted line forms four right angles despite the fact that two point left and two are upside down... http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/k045.gif

What is death is life and life is death?

[applepie]

Someone needs to change the definition for what makes something living

Why are there seatbelts on planes?

[Pendragon]

Turbulance.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

[farnoosh]

because if they dont the person that uses it will stay healthy

[farnoosh]

why do cow's MOOOOO!

[Bakiryu]

They're singing!

Why do needles always poke you when you're sewing something white?

[Pendragon]

They want some color!

Why does everything always say $19.95 instead of $20.00?

[mosimo]

because it looks cheaper

Why do Americans drive on the wrong side of the road?

[Bakiryu]

they're weird like that.

Why do some russian words some like really bad spanish swear words :sick:?

[Granny5]

Americans drive on the right side of the road.



Why do people think it's wrong when it's right?

[amalia1985]

Does anyone know if Pau Gasol is married???:blush: :blush: :blush:

[Pendragon]

Ever hear of the terms "search engine" or the word "Google"?

Why are only black cat bad luck, is that racist to cats?