Ask A Stupid Question, Get A Stupid Answer

[Hawkman]

It does, if you leave it long enough.

How do you charm a worm?

[lilimarlene]

By laughing at his jokes.

If it's so bad for you, why does it feel so good?

[tonywalt]

Because of intoxication.

Why do I keep eating peanuts!?

[lilimarlene]

because it`s raining.

How come I was fine until I woke up?

[tonywalt]

You are fine. Once you get movin'...See!

Where did my luck just go?

[lilimarlene]

(You`re right!)
it`s hiding under your bed

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

[tonywalt]

The Others are there for the Dharma Iniative or they maybe even were on the island before then! (dammit, i loved Lost when it came out).

How exactly is the "no politics" rule enforced on some forums.....?

[lilimarlene]

by implanting subliminal messages in long, confusing threads

What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped?

[tonywalt]

ka thunk, cuz it's usually the wrong name!

What don't they make cars and planes out of the black box thingy?

[lilimarlene]

cause it would be like my neighbours canary too heavy to fly

why doesn`t the earth fall down?

[tonywalt]

Cuz there are dragons down there!

When do ants sleep?

[Hawkman]

When they get tired.

Why are leopards spotty?

[lilimarlene]

cause they lack in consistency.

What is the speed of dark?

[tonywalt]

It's the same speed as temperature - roughly.

Why is my pocket still vibrate - without my phone?!

[lilimarlene]

Muscle memory

Why am I here?as opposed to there?

[Hawkman]

When I looked you weren't. ;) But anyway, everyone has to be somewhere...

Why are green rooms green?

[lilimarlene]

Because the third ray of creative intelligence is represented by the colour green

Why is passion so powerful?

[tonywalt]

Cuz sleeping alone is a bummer.

Why doesn't anyone ever eat cotton candy at home? - only fairs and stuff!

[Calidore]

Because at home, it would end up having to be cleaned off everything, rather than just skin and clothes.

Why is so hard to convince kids to not do things we did?

[tonywalt]

Because I still do the things I did as a kid-it's the same old me.

Where did you go Joe DeMaggio?

[lilimarlene]

....Jolting Joe has left and gone away

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every couple of hours crying?

[Hawkman]

Because that's how they slept.

Why is it poeple who want to die aren't allowed to when people who don't want to die pop thier cloggs all the time?

[lilimarlene]

let's not forget the people dying of boredom as we speak.......aaaaaaaaaaah

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

[tonywalt]

I usually thrust my arms around people on left and right:coolgleamA: - they move if they don't like it (and they weirdly like it - most times).

How is it that you can't get what you want but you can always get what you need?

[lilimarlene]

cause maybe what you want is actually not what you need.

Why do good people do bad things?

[tonywalt]

Because they refuse to take their medication.

What is my dog thinking?

[lilimarlene]

The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind

Why are dogs noses always wet?

[tonywalt]

Because they can't hold glasses on account of their paws and have to go nose first to get a damn drink! - So wrong!

Did I leave the iron on?

[Calidore]

That question will answer itself shortly.

Should I buy a flamethrower, since melting snow with it would be easier than shoveling?

[lilimarlene]

i would suggest instead some lavender infused sea salt, much less expensive and will leave a divine fragrance while melting the snow.

what is the right age for teaching my dog about sex?

[tonywalt]

Right before he is neutered

How do i explain to my dog about his over eating and slow metabolism?

[lilimarlene]

Maybe he's an emotional eater. Food can take the focus off of anger, resentment, fear, anxiety, and a host of other emotions we’d sometimes rather not feel. I would suggest an appointment with a therapist to find out what emotions he's dealing with. Perhaps after the therapy, a bit of chi balancing and a colonic he will be on the right track.

While we are on the subject; why do people look like food to me?

[tonywalt]

You are likely a closet Cannibal, which is healthy as long as you do not begin to actually eat people - now there is where you may or may not have problems with the Law and some pi@@ed off relatives and friends.

Who steals my pens and newspaper everyday?

[lilimarlene]

Ok you got me, guilty as charged.I'm also the one stealing just one of your socks from the dryer.

How did it get to be so late?

[tonywalt]

Winter days are shorter.

Why do people really SLAM doors?

[lilimarlene]

this is due to the behaviour of air around the door as it is closed.

I made Jesus-shaped pancakes, but I burnt them. Am I going to hell?

[tonywalt]

I believe you have to slaughter a mosquito in order to gain entrance to the Kingdom! ("OH Lordy, help this demon child woman"!!)- raising trembling hands and eyes skyward)

Am i putting too much olive oil on this salad - this cant' be good?

[lilimarlene]

if you feel you've put too much olive oil in your salad rub some on dry and rough areas like your knees and elbow as it's an excellent moisturising agent. And let's not forget not your locks, olive oil works wonders for the hair, it helps fight dandruff, repairs spilt ends and adds shine to your hair. Olive oil makes a great wood furniture polish and if your shoes are looking a bit scuffed it helps bring back their shine, restore suppleness, and protect the leather.

How come my dog doesn't understand math very well?

[tonywalt]

...and I always like to take the olive oil excess to fill my car up - Voila! Clean Energy!!

Not sure why dogs don't get math.

How come humans can't catch flying frisbees in their mouth very well?

[lilimarlene]

who says humans can't do that? My ex boyfirend from the Mursi tribe in Ethiopia was an excellent frisbee catcher.

does morning sex make you a morning person?

[tonywalt]

No, but it's make it easier to get up though

Why didn't foxes and wolves become domesticated?

[lilimarlene]

because much like one of my co-workers, they have antisocial personalities.

If I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together, who then is the walrus?

[tonywalt]

The walrus is clearly the eggman.

Now why in world would he be sitting on a cornflake wating for the van to come?

[lilimarlene]

because I have been a naughty girl and let my knickers down....goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob

Why do guys slap each other on the butt?

[tonywalt]

Because slapping each other in the balls hurts too much.

Why am i singing along to Neil Diamond?

[lilimarlene]

cause Cracklin' Rosie is a store-bought woman and she make you sing like a guitar hummin'......

are we there yet?

[tonywalt]

Yes. And there it is: Wally World and Plastic Mountain - Run!

Wait, did I give you a $10 or a $100?

[lilimarlene]

what money are you talking about?

Why don’t you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?

[tonywalt]

The Mayan calender say a psychic will win the lottery in 2012 and then the world will end

How come you never see a baby pigeon?

[lilimarlene]

cause they're in the pie.

Why do bad decisions make good stories?

[tonywalt]

schadenfreude

Left handed or right handed?

[lilimarlene]

Right
You?

[tonywalt]

Right?

"I am, Said I, I am, I cried - what hell am I?

[lilimarlene]

sorry, I can't hear you.

Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

[cafolini]

Always to the ballroom and the waltz. I'll be a mosquito on the wall, measuring your pash.
Where will you go with that bottle of Ginebra imported from Argentina?

[lilimarlene]

heading to the back garden at the Congo in BA, I've got some tapas ordered, so come....

why are kisses a better fate than wisdom?

[tonywalt]

Cuz Serendipity rocks! - Its rocks my a@@ off!

Does my dog actually know what a camera is/does?

[lilimarlene]

so long as your dog is wrapped up in appearances, in karmic consciousness and its results, he only sees himself as a dog and therefore does not know what a camera is.

why is today only tuesday?

[tonywalt]

Ok, i've made it wednesday!

Are you happy.....?

[lilimarlene]

She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad.

You're not going to wear that, are you?

[tonywalt]

But I love my bowtie! -(note to self: must get shirt).

same question

[Buh4Bee]

What, you aren't into the knee highs? OK, the knees are outdated...

Why did you piss on the floor?

[tonywalt]

Because you never take me out anymore!

Why did you put that on that?

[Buh4Bee]

Because I am tired and that is usually were my hat goes, but your crap is in the way.

[tonywalt]

why do i have to go these hoops?

[lilimarlene]

It's a test to see if you're worthy and what you're made of.

How high can you jump?

[tonywalt]

Can dogs understand cat language?

[lilimarlene]

you tell me, meow meow meow meoooooooow.

what song is in your head right now?

[Buh4Bee]

New York, New York by Old Blue Eyes

What shoes size do you wear? (Just in case, big feet mean big socks!)

[Twota]

45.

Why are we humans?

[cacian]

what other choices do we have?

why is snow white?

[Twota]

because it is named after the story character.

why are eyeballs round?

[cacian]

I guess it's because the world is round LOL

why are they 60mn in a hour?

[Twota]

because they are 60 seconds in a minute. :D

why are we asking stupid questions?

[2X2E5]

If not, the Commies win.

Where is Waldo's (from Find Waldo) place of birth?

[Twota]

My shoes?

Why do we fear crocs?

[cacian]

because they are not use

why is drunkness bad?

[Twota]

because it didn't do homework?

why did dinosaurs die?

[lilimarlene]

Cause you forgot to feed them.
Why does my head hurt?

[Joreads]

Because you think to much

Which comes first sun rise or sun set

[Buh4Bee]

Sunrise, of course.

Which is better for you, running or jogging?

[Enchantress]

Neither, I'd rather lay down

Why did the fly swim the backstroke across the soup?

[lilimarlene]

to get to the other side.

Why am I wasting my time with this trivia?

[Twota]

because it's fun.

why can't we see God?

[lilimarlene]

you can't see what you're not looking for.

Why can't I sleep?

[farnoosh]

Because you're sleepy?

Why should we die?

[lilimarlene]

t's because our services are no longer needed.

Why are you in the mess you're in?

[tonywalt]

It began with my lollipop being stolen from me at as child.

Whatever happened to tube socks?

[Calidore]

All the ones not lost in the dryer were chewed up by puppies.

Why do people still watch MTV even though there's no M anymore and the TV is godawful?

[farnoosh]

Because people need to get bored.

Why do people watch tv?

[Sancho]

To figure out who shot J.R. (Whoa! I'm dating myself.)

Who did shoot J.R. anyway?

[lilimarlene]

J.R. never got shot, that was just a government-sponsored hoax.


What is another word for thesaurus?

[tonywalt]

'google'

Where did i put my damn keys?

[Pendragon]

Where the Car Keys Gnomes could easily get to them and hide them?

Why do people take hope over experience?

[Sancho]

Because hope springs eternal. People will hope for the best, even in the face of adversity. It's what makes us human.

Why would anybody think a venture capitalist has experience appropriate for a head of state?

[tonywalt]

Because professional government office holders know little about the economy.

Why are Scandavadian countries so clean and organized?(on bizness in Oslo)

[Sancho]

Because all the rabble-rousers in those places went a viking years ago and never came home. The people there now are the descendants of the amenable, fastidious folks who were left behind.

Why does jury duty pay more than my regular job?

(Sorry, I ripped that off from a Steve Martin bit.)

[tonywalt]

So that serving looks attractive.

Are barking dogs really saying 'hey' 'hey' hey' repeatedly?

[kaethe]

Yes, but on christmas they are in a playful mood and try to alter the vocal.

If you were a bird, would you have wings or just feathers?

[tonywalt]

I would try to have both, if that's not too greedy.

Is your corn hand-shucked?

[kaethe]

As elbow-shucked is so hard to get in my supermarket, yes..

Where the hell do earthworms put their shovels when it´s time to sleep?

[tonywalt]

They work in revolving shifts and hand off the shovels.

Why do people hum (or make other distracting noises) in elevators?

[Calidore]

To drown out the piped-in elevator music, of course.

Why do people who drive in snow every year forget how to drive in snow every year?

[tonywalt]

I hate when that happens.

Why do I start talking like Bubba Gump Shrimp when I hear the word "Bubba"?

[kaethe]

An allergy or just one of life´s great mysteries.
Anyway, it wouldn´t make much sense if you started talking Robert Redford-like when hearing the word Bubba (or shrimp cocktail or shrimp creole or shrimp lemonade or baby shrimp or shrimp fart or sssssssshhhhhhhhhrrrrrrri................

[kaethe]

Sorry, all the shrimp talk.... I forgot my question, which is:

Should I continue playing table tennis or is ping-pong considered as the new trend sport? I just want to keep myself up to date.

[tonywalt]

Ping pong was IN, but is now OUT - which makes it weirdly IN.

How does Robert Redford talk? (He originally filmed Out of Afica with a Bristish(ish) sort of accent, but it was so bad they switched him to a vague mid atlantic accent. There are a few parts where they kept his attempt at sounding British).

Sorry, i'm a Kenya fanatic and go there every year! (not the horrible parts, but rather the leafy suburbs above Nairobi)

[kaethe]

In the older movies beautyful, in the newer ones somehow sophisticated, I guess.
To say the truth: I have no idea as he always speaks to me in a "Rolf Schult" voice!

Do cauliflower ears hear the sound of growing vegetable or vengeance?

[Buh4Bee]

No, that would be ears of corn that hear vengeance.

Why are crabs crabby?

[kaethe]

If they weren´t, their pincers wouldn´t be of any use.

Do trolls stroll?

[tonywalt]

They do while file sharing - which is a where they meet and reproduce.

Why's do people like bad news?

[lilimarlene]

not all people. The one that do are generally depressed and anxious and this just reinforces what they are thinking and makes them feel that they are not alone in their misery.

why are some people their own worst enemies?

[tonywalt]

Cuz they have so many friends, they need some enemies.

Why is my leg vibrating when my phone is not there?

[kaethe]

Phantom pain.

Why can´t snow be purple?

[Calidore]

It would totally clash with the red and green of Christmas.

Why are clowns scary?

[tonywalt]

Damn water pistols they carry

Why do shoelaces get shorter and shorter?

[kaethe]

Passive aggression. They hate being tied all the time.

Why can´t I trust my fridge?

[Bleeding Pawn]

because nothing stays in there much longer

To which species of dogs do the cats belong to?

[cafolini]

Why do cows don't have kittens?

[tonywalt]

kittens too short to reach for the milk

Why do fools fall in love?

[lilimarlene]

who you calling a fool?

Why do dreams exist?

[Bleeding Pawn]

So that we have a reason to sleep.

Why nightmares haunt us?

[lilimarlene]

cause if they didn't , I would.


Why is it that every time I look in a mirror, I feel like I'm being watched?

[Calidore]

Because you're actually the reflection.

Why does coffee smell much better than it tastes?

[liza]

Why does coffee smell much better than it tastes?
~ I've thought about that too .. I like drinking coffee .. but don't like the taste .. maybe is because the smell wake you up ..

Why do I hate water .. when it first touch my skin ?

[lilimarlene]

water has low viscosity and high surface tension so what it does is move rather quickly and hit some place all at once, that’s why it hurts your skin.

HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK ?

[tonywalt]

FOR JUST $99 I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO TURN OFF CAPLOCK, it's a bargain just send funds to me Why would a girl tell me they are stupid but pretty-and expect a positive response?

[lilimarlene]

you already know the answer to that one.

why do guys slap each other on the butt?

[tonywalt]

because our friends piss us off and it's a form of spanking

Why do women go to bathroom together?

[Calidore]

What I was told once (jokingly, I hope) is that nobody wants to actually touch a public toilet seat, so the second woman is there to hold the first one's hands to help her keep elevated.

Why apples and oranges and not, say, radishes and watermelons?

[tonywalt]

It's hard to hold a radish in one hand and a watermelon in the other - even metaphorically.


You can't always get what you want?

[Sancho]

But if you try some times, you get what you need...yeah yeah

Why can't I get no satisfaction?

[liza]

Because you are too intellegent and clever to get easly satisfied ..

Same question

[Sancho]

Because you hold such high standards for yourself. (^also you're too kind. I've got it on pretty good authority that El Sancho is a bit of a dullard and easily duped)

Why do I feel like I'm an hour short on sleep this morning?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Maybe because you have to adjust your DST daylight saving time)

If silence was Golden , how much would it be worth on wall Street?

[kaethe]

Not much more than the instrument which is able to measure it.

Why do I have problems finding a silly question today?

[tonywalt]

Blame it on Wall street

What time is it there?

[kaethe]

Time for a coffee break.

Why do cookies crumble away when I dip them into my coffee?

[tonywalt]

dunno, i eat cookies 'cookie monster style' - and he never drank coffee.

do you really carpe diem each day?

[Adolescent09]

If I believe the day is within the season of seizing then there is little reason to not conceive in sleeping next to deceased antelopes.

Why do people see the mirage of giant female breasts when a camel walks by in the distance?

[tonywalt]

Because they are sexually surpressed

Is the first cut really the deepest?

[Calidore]

If it's done properly. Now hold still.

Is it true that the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Seems like it, since the country is going through a financial drought.

Are there any perishable features/attributes in a human being ?

[tonywalt]

I'd say beliefs like Santa and the Easter Bunny perish for some. I'm a believer myself.

How many damn times do I have to keep upgrading and changing phones?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Seems like it, since the country is going through a financial drought.

Are there any perishable features/attributes in a human being ?


Conscience , Emotions , Sympathy towards other fellow beings. These are the traits in a human that seems to die in some even though the Body and Soul is very much alive.


How many times have you seen a shooting star ?

[Calidore]

Never. I've seen a falling star, which might have been shot, but the shooter got away unseen.

Why are television and movie screens rectangular and not round?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Maybe it is because since the hackneyed plot and script of television and movies makes our head and intelligence swirl in disarray, what would the consequences have been if they were circular.


How come Sauron the Dark Lord ( Lord of Rings) existed without any physical presence?

[tonywalt]

Magic

Why are Germans generally punctual and precise?

[lilimarlene]

to balance out the chaos of la dolce vita living italians

Is red heavier than yellow?

[Calidore]

Yes. The redder the sun gets, the faster it sinks; the yellower it gets, the higher it rises.

So what about blue?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Yes. The redder the sun gets, the faster it sinks; the yellower it gets, the higher it rises.

Agreeably even though it breaches the law of literature since all three are included in it. Poetic , Philosophical and above all, a fact.



So what about blue?


Blue seems the lightest (weight) of them all, since it has stuck up way up high becoming the roof of this universe.


Why does an educated being sometimes act as a fool?

[tonywalt]

So the fools feel better about themselves.

What happened to the road runner? Is she(he?) still out there?

[aliengirl]

She is still trying to find the right direction.

Why did the dish run away with the spoon?

[tonywalt]

Because the fork treated the dish badly.

Why do beady eyed people get such a bad reputation?

[cafolini]

because one putation leads to more putation.

Why cheapy-cheapy ding dong doesn't play ping pong?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Because Din Dong is from North America and it plays ice-hockey.

what if the Lit-Net blocked every user who can`t do without swearing?

[cafolini]

Nobody will play ice hockey.

What is the name of a little animal that lives 15 meters underground, is green and eats stones.

[Bleeding Pawn]

What ever game they play since they will be blocked they gonna play ball, one way or the other.

Is the Dictionary the most trusted companion of an author?

[Hawkman]

Depends on whether he can spell or not.

How can you tell if a pit is bottomless, without falling in?

[Calidore]

Toss someone else in.

How can cable have so many channels and still have nothing good on?

[Hawkman]

A vacuum expands to fill the available space.

Why do policemen always know the time?

[tonywalt]

Because the doughnut shop has a clock right there in front of them.

Why do you turn the music/radio down in the car when you get in?

[morto]

Because music/radio emerges my involuntary dancing.

Why do you don't burn your house, take the vesture off and run to the woods?

[Adolescent09]

Because music/radio emerges my involuntary dancing.

Why do you don't burn your house, take the vesture off and run to the woods?

Because I take the woods with me as I lay the vesture on the flames of my burnt house.

Why are male lions often called "the kings of the jungle" when they live nowhere near the nearest jungle?

[Bleeding Pawn]

You can take a lion out of the jungle but you cannot take the jungle out of a lion.

Is the computer he or she?

[Calidore]

The computer itself has no external plugs, everything plugs into it, so she.

Why can't the brain understand itself?

[Hawkman]

Can be either. With Apple's Siri it seems to be pot luck whether the gender is male or female. Anyway, it doesn't matter what sex a Gremlin is! (unless you want to breed them, of course)

Why are positions of authority only given to idiots?

[tonywalt]

Because the voting populace is in large part idiotic (at least in how the determine criteria for authority)

Why do call it a 'pot luck' dinner?

[Hawkman]

Because if you're lucky you get offered pot.

What's so magic about mushrooms?

[morto]

mushrooms is the dice of god

Why have no green mammals?

[SpriTe0110]

Because then they'd get eaten as Veggies. :P


Why did they decide to chicken fry a steak?

[tonywalt]

No beef around.

Where do all those missing pairs of socks go? (Asked before, but never properly solved).

[Calidore]

Someone else's dryer. And approximately half the time, what you think is one of your socks missing its twin is actually an extra one from someone else.

Why shaken, not stirred?

[tonywalt]

(I have only one dryer in the house-perhaps they sneak out at night:)

Because it bruises the alcohol, dillutes it, shakes it down - all that jazz. Stirring evokes a more effete sort of scene in the movie. Sumpin like that.

Why does Tom Cruise always look really crazy?

[Hawkman]

(without prejudice) Because he is. (Don't sue me Tom, it ain't worth it.)

Have you seen my escaped sock eater?

[tonywalt]

I have.

What time can I ditch this F'n place?

[Hawkman]

Any time you like :D

But why would you want to?

[tonywalt]

I was ready to get out of here for various reasons.

Why are some cats so damn snobby?

[Hawkman]

Because they are manifestations of divinity, and who wants a prole for a god? ;)

What is the true purpose of government?

[liza]

this is a difficult question .. you should make a stupid question

[Bleeding Pawn]

Because they are manifestations of divinity, and who wants a prole for a god? ;)

What is the true purpose of government?

The true purpose of governments today is to convince the public they are striving for the welfare of the impoverished.

What is in your pocket right now?

[Hawkman]

The Preciousssss, Golum! Golum! Nasty little Hobbitses

Oh, and by the way, the true purpose of government is to distract the attention of the electorate from what is being done to them, either by their elected representatives or some other unelected body that seeks to enslave by stealth.

What's yellow and dangerous?

[liza]

The Preciousssss, Golum! Golum! Nasty little Hobbitses

Oh, and by the way, the true purpose of government is to distract the attention of the electorate from what is being done to them, either by their elected representatives or some other unelected body that seeks to enslave by stealth.

What's yellow and dangerous?

my underwear :):)

[lilimarlene]

my underwear :):)

:thumbsup:

[Twota]

why do we wear underwear?

[Hawkman]

So we don't have to wear brown trousers.

Who's got the champagne?

[lilimarlene]

did someone say champagne? lilimarlene loves champagne!

[liza]

why do we wear underwear?

sometimes :) :)

[Twota]

sometimes :) :)

lol! :D

[tonywalt]

boxers.

Alarm clock or phone alarm?

[Twota]

Phone alarm.

What is a lion's worst fear?

[lilimarlene]

they are deathly afraid of clowns

are we there yet?

[tonywalt]

Yes, but I've forgotten your ticket - so watch the car Girl!

Why is the magic kingdom at disney world roomless? (not even the king and queen live there!)

[lilimarlene]

it is due to the Pepper's ghost illusion, the rooms are actually there i(n the Haunted Mansion,) but you can't see them.


If evil-doers invaded your country would you rush to the battlelines to defend the motherland or hide in a box?

[Hawkman]

I would definitely resist an overt invasion, but there is little likelihood of one in this day and age. I'm far more worried about the enemy within!

What happens to a siamese cat in a fridge?

[Twota]

gets pretty fat...

what is my real name?

[Hawkman]

Tiddles.

What happened after the thing that happened before?

[Twota]

Exactly! The thing that happened after.

Why do we love chocolate?

[Bleeding Pawn]

To have a date with the tooth fairy.

How many fingers have you got on your hand without counting?

[tonywalt]

About 10.

Why do fools always rush in?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Never seen a fool behaving that way.It might be that they are anxious that someone might ask them something beyond their capabilities.

Why don`t we answer a question with a question?

[Calidore]

Can we?

If walnuts are the "wal" in a Waldorf salad, what's the "dorf"?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Nuts (dorf = stupid).

What is there but not here?

[tonywalt]

It just isn't.

Why can't i stop eating peanuts?

[Hawkman]

Because you're a hamster

Would you prefer to be a lemming?

[Bleeding Pawn]

No ( satisfied with how I am created.)

Are you afraid of the dark?

[Bleeding Pawn]

deleted.

[tonywalt]

No.

How many drinks did you have, sir/madame?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Eight to ten glasses of water a day.

Do you count sheep to help you go back to sleep?

[free]

No, I count ships.

Do invisible people see themselves?

[kushy]

probably, No

Why February has only 28 days?

[Calidore]

So Spring can arrive that much sooner.

Why are we getting taller?

[tonywalt]

We eat more.

Why do your shoestrings become untied from a knot?

[kaethe]

Do they?

Why are my Beagle`s farts smelling so awful?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Maybe it time for it to be descented.


Do we dream during sleepwalking?

[kushy]

I think we do.

What film you watched recently?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Right now I am stuck with watching the "Present".

Why does our vision get blurred by looking at the bright sunlight?

[tonywalt]

Because eyeshades are needed - no one quite knows why.

Would you emmigrate? (always worth re-asking each 'new generation')

[Bleeding Pawn]

Why not, as long as it not connected with the same old routine.

If their was no evil, what then?

[Poetrygirl]

To much good.

Why is the sky blue?

[tonywalt]

It's a nicer shade than grey.

What time do you leave work/school today?

[Poetrygirl]

3:10

Why is Purple, Purple?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Why is the sky blue?

Maybe because it is always in a blue mood watching how everything goes by underneath it.



Why is Purple, Purple?

Because it is in a state of conundrum between red and blue.


why is the Earth circular?

[Poetrygirl]

Because a square is to pointy.

Why don't penguins fly?

[Calidore]

Where would they go?

Why cigar-store *Indians*?

[Poetrygirl]

Because Everyone Else is to boring.

Why don't dogs have thumbs?

[kushy]

As they don't drink thumps up:)


Why don't we see god?

[Poetrygirl]

Because he is so magnificent that if we see him our eyes will burn before his greatness!

Why is glitter so shiny

[kushy]

Shining particles are added in it.

Why should we live?

[Poetrygirl]

Because if we don't live, who would eat all the delicious food.

Where did they get the name Antarctica from?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Don`t know the answer, it seems all Greek to me.

What is your favourite bedtime prayer?

[tonywalt]

Nite nite

Why did Elvis get so damn fat?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Because the pelvis in elvis stopped functioning.

Why Diana is still more famous than Kate Middleton?

[Shaman_Raman]

Because humans thrive on death and conspiracy.

What movie role would you replace the actor for David Hasslehoff?

[Grit]

Because humans thrive on death and conspiracy.

What movie role would you replace the actor for David Hasslehoff?

Great question. David Hasslehoff stars in Wizard of Oz.

Why do the neighborhood dogs insist on stealing my bread crumbs?

[Calidore]

Because they're bird dogs.

Why is white Zinfandel pink? Or, why is pink Zinfandel called white?

[Poetrygirl]

Because they wanted to be different

Why do snakes not have legs

[tonywalt]

Because they are encouraging humans to eat less carbs.

Why is David Hasslehoff so popular in Germany?

[Bleeding Pawn]

He starred as a German dodge ball coach in a movie.

What would happen if dictionaries started talking to us?

[lilimarlene]

You mean they don't already?!!

When is a black cat most likely to enter a house?

[Calidore]

When the door is open.

If there's no sound in space, why the "Big Bang"?

[cafolini]

Because there is mental space. Why is there mental space?

[Shaman_Raman]

Because you said so. How do you decide which lesbian is honored on Mothers day?

[Grit]

Because you said so. How do you decide which lesbian is honored on Mothers day?

Whip em' out and measure em'.

If hard alcohol's so hard, why is it so easy to drink?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Its just hard on ones wallet but easy to gulp it down.

Why are the hardest of tasks end up being the easiest to perform?

[Shaman_Raman]

Because people go half hearted into hard tasks, thus making them quite easy.

Is there a chemical produced by the golf channel that creates drowsiness?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Most probably, since the players of golf are products of chemical reactions, that's why watching golf channels is prescribed as a remedy for people suffering from insomnia.

How can we differentiate between what is wrong and what is correct?

[Calidore]

The big red X placed by the teacher is one sign. A new bedroom door made of bars is another.

How did Willy Wonka's fizzy drink make people float when the bottles didn't float?

[Hawkman]

Because it was a cocktail of very powerful narcotics and hallucinogens!

What is the secret of my success?

[tonywalt]

Your golden ring and goblet.

Why are middle names usually kinda lame?