Ask A Stupid Question, Get A Stupid Answer

[skib]

The water is condensing in your nose from the cold in your nose.

Why is metal hard?

[Dr Jekyll]

Because it starts leaking when exposed to microorganisms.

Where is the Atlantic ocean located at?

[Dr Jekyll]

The water is condensing in your nose from the cold in your nose.

Why is metal hard?

Sorry skib didn't see you posted before me.

[skib]

No worries. I do that all the time!

[Maryd.]

The water is condensing in your nose from the cold in your nose.

Why is metal hard?




Now where were we.

Metal is hard becaus someone placed it in the fridge.


(Ok, lets go with Dr. Jekyll's question now)

Where is the Atlantic ocean located at?

[skib]

Not here.

Why is the ocean so big?

[Maryd.]

Because the bath leaked.

Why do we have a shower/bathe?

[Haunted]

Because we can't do everything in the toilet.


Did 4-legged animals and 4-legged furniture come from the same ancestors?

[Stargazer86]

No, 4 legged furniture reproduces asexually

What is snow?

[Haunted]

Snow is "wons" spelled backwards.

Does tsunami taste like salami?

[Maryd.]

Probably... They have the same burst about them.

Why do some people read, whilst on the toilet?

[Agatha]

Because they are ashamed by what they are reading :)
Why some teachers are dork?

[Maryd.]

Because it is part of their curriculum, in Uni.

Why are there crazy people in the world?

[Maryd.]

Because it is part of their curriculum, in Uni.

Why are there crazy people in the world?

[Haunted]

to keep me company

why do crazy people have to put up with sane people?

[Maryd.]

To keep them company

Why did I just have a shower?

[skib]

Because the shower wanted you.

Why is water wet?

[Maryd.]

To give a towel a reason for existing.

Why is heat - hot?

[skib]

Because cold can't be.

Why does water freeze?

[Maryd.]

So we can learn how to ice skate.

Why do we get older?

[Janine]

Can't retreat to Florida in the winter.

Why do stupid people venture out on thin ice?

[skib]

That must be why I was out on the ice this morning.

Why do people ice fish?

[Maryd.]

To learn how to swim

Why does it snow in Winter and not Summer?

[Agatha]

Because snow prefers Winter and doesn't fancy Summer.
Why the summer holidays pass so quickly, whereas school seems to last forever?

[Maryd.]

Because there are less hours in the summer days than there are in school.

Where to babies come form?

[DanielBenoit]

A stork delivers them in a blanket :nod:

How far north is north?

[skib]

Somewhere up there.

Is there really a pole in the north pole?

[Maryd.]

I think you go upwards.

How big is America?

[Maryd.]

Sorry dear we crossed posts, will go with yours



Somewhere up there.

Is there really a pole in the north pole?

[DanielBenoit]

Yes, one that comes out of the ground with a telephone attached to it.

Why is Australia an island?

[Maryd.]

Because I live here and I-love-land.

Is there really a pole in the north pole?

[Haunted]

yes, there really is a pole, along with 3 pole dancers.

Which pole is taller, the north pole or the south pole?

[Maryd.]

The South, becuase I said so.


Is the money in banks real?

[Haunted]

Nope. The ATMs are just old HP printers

Is the mattress a good place to hide money?

[Dr Jekyll]

No it's not. The bed bugs will deteriorate the money.

How do arctic plants survive the harsh climate?

[free]

By avoiding ice-cream.

Why do men wear trousers and not skirts?

[Maryd.]

Because they are scared to show their feminine side.

Why are women so clever?

[Dr Jekyll]

Why do men wear trousers and not skirts?


Because they are scared to show their feminine side.

:lol: :thumbs_up True! :lol:

[Maryd.]

Why do men wear trousers and not skirts?



:lol: :thumbs_up True! :lol:


You like that one Dr. Jeckyll... Was hoping to make at least one person laugh by that one.

But you didn't answer the last question....

Why are women so clever?

[Dr Jekyll]

:rolleyes: Well, I guess natural selection could be an adequate answer. ? :D

Why do pigs love to roll in mud?

[Maryd.]

Because it is good for their complexion.

Why do dogs love to roll in horse manure?

[skib]

Because they would rather that than pee on it.

Why do dogs pee on everything? Except horse poo?

[Maryd.]

Because they are allowed to...

Is the moon in Australia the same as the one in the USA?

[skib]

I'm not sure . . . did you ask the man on it where all he's been?

On that note, is there really a man on the moon?

[Maryd.]

Yes there is and his name is Santa Claus... Or is that the North Pole... Um er.. hmmm.

Does Santa Claus really exist?

[skib]

Yep. He lives over by my old high school.

Does his belly really jiggle like a bowl full of jelly?

[Maryd.]

Only after dinner... SWEETS AFTER DINNER!!!

Why does he always start his sentences with HO HO HO?

[Silas Thorne]

So people know to run away in fear before he pulls out the Christmas scythe.

If the world doesn't end in 2012, when is the next significant Apocalypse year on the religious timetables?

[Maryd.]

I think it's this Friday after the movie "To Sir With Love."

What day comes after Friday?

[Silas Thorne]

The sixth or seventh one, depending on where you live.

Why did the Grand Old Duke of York march his men up and down a hill?

[Maryd.]

Because they couldn't find his specks. (Glasses)

Why were the three blind mice, blind?

[Dr Jekyll]

They were exposed as babies to the daily 10-hour supernova (which is what we call the Sun).

Why do we celebrate Christmas?

[Haunted]

some people made it their religion to bash Christianity, so Christmas is celebrated to annoy those people

How long does the New Year last?

[BienvenuJDC]

The same as the old one...

How long is a year on the moon?

[Haunted]

365 nights

do bees call each other honey?

[Maryd.]

About a week, It's to busy giving us light at night it has to hurry it's year up.

How big is the moon?

[Maryd.]

Hey babe, we crossed quotes... Will go with yours.



365 nights

do bees call each other honey?

[Haunted]

I'll do yours first



How big is the moon?

the size varies according to weight. If it eats too much moon rock for lunch, it falls on the horizon at night and looks gigantic.

do bees call each other honey?

[Maryd.]

I'll do yours first



the size varies according to weight. If it eats too much moon rock for lunch, it falls on the horizon at night and looks gigantic.

do bees call each other honey?

You are such a sweetie.:thumbs_up

Yes, that is where the company got the name honey from.

Are you asking me questions or is it your computer?

[BienvenuJDC]

My computer comes up with the questions...then I ask them...

Why do kids giggle?

[Maryd.]

Because they are missing so many teeth.

Why do humans need to breathe?

[BienvenuJDC]

So they can blow things off...

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

[Haunted]

enough to make a toothpick

what do express trains express?

[Maryd.]

They express their feelings to the tracks by showing their speed.

Where does electricity come from?

[Haunted]

lightning bugs

What's the difference between a smile and a laugh

[Maryd.]

A smile is with you accidentally swallow a fly and a laugh is when you accidentally swallow a clown.

What day is the first day of the week?

[Haunted]

it's the day you hate most

is there a purpose for wriggling my toes?

[Maryd.]

Yes, to make sure they are all there and accounted for.

Why do we have toes?

[Haunted]

to make nail polish companies rich.

Why don't men paint their toe nails?

[Maryd.]

Because they can't reach them.

Why is a hose?

[Haunted]

because it really was a nose but longer

what is HO2?

[Maryd.]

It is some kind of hose - but duplicated.

What is gas?

[skib]

A liquid.

How did the DD (me) end up needing to be D'd?

[Maryd.]

??? Not sure what you are asking here... No really, I'm not sure

What is the meaning of the last question?

[Haunted]

It's all about Dee Da Doe

what's the point in asking what's the point?

[Maryd.]

Just in case we find a point.

What is a point?

[Haunted]

something you shouldn't be sitting on.

Why do we have two eyes but can only see in one direction?

[Maryd.]

Because our heads don't know how to spin around.

Why don't animals talk?

[Haunted]

They actually do, but humans are so egocentric, we only hear ourselves talk.

What do you put inside balloons?

[Maryd.]

My mouth... God knows it's big enough.

What is the main ingredient in a Cheesecake

[Dr Jekyll]

Only the finest Cheddar cheese, of course.

Where is Earth located at?

[Maryd.]

Opposite the other side of the universe.

Why are people so vulnerable?

[chaneybean]

we lack an exoskeleton

Why does history repete itself?

[Haunted]

Because history writers only have to write for 22 weeks. The rest is just repeats.

Do I need to go to the dentist...I have a sweet tooth.

[Virgil]

You better not. He may pull out that only tooth. ;)

I ate so much today, will my belt stretch?

[Maryd.]

Yes, Santa's does.

Why does Christmas come once a year?

[Haunted]

Because it takes a year to digest a Christmas fruitcake.

Does a full moon become a quarter moon if I lower my eyelids?

[Maryd.]

Yes, it does, you are so clever. Why didn't I think of that?

Why are human beings so stupid?

[neilgee]

Because at the micro-biotic level life is seemingly just as manufactured as plastic. [Whatever that means].

Am I my brother's keeper?

[Maryd.]

Well, of course you are and so am I, we all are.

Why doesn't it snow in summer?

[Haunted]

Because in the warm weather the snowmen are gone to the nude beach.

Where are all the snowwomen?

[Maryd.]

Watching the nude snowmen and the beach.

What does one wear to a nudist beach?

[Haunted]

sunscreen and a smile

How do you greet each other on a nude beach?

[Maryd.]

You don't shake hands, you just shake your body.

Are you allowed to wear a hat to a nudist beach.

[Haunted]

yes, as long as it covers only the beach bag.

Which direction does a beach ball bounce on a nude beach, up or down?

[Maryd.]

If you are upside down then it might just drop, but If you are standing normal then it will go down.

Can you swim at a nudist beach?

[Haunted]

yes but use caution, you are more exposed...hmm...ymmm...to sharks.

Can you reuse the styrofoam cups you find on the bottom of the ocean?

[Maryd.]

Yes, just remember to rinse them, after the fish use them.

Is it true that one can swim from America to Australia in 40 minutes?

[spookymulder93]

They both begin with A's so I don't see why not.

How do you post a reply in this thread?

[Maryd.]

You just type the word... Reply!

What is the reason for rain?

[The Comedian]

Do you like wearing underwear on the outside of your pants?

[Maryd.]

Isn't that where you are supposed to wear them.

Where is the moon located?

[Nietzsche]

Why so serious?

[Haunted]

Why so serious?

because there's nothing else left to do.



Where is the moon located?

In the sky, right over the shed where they make moonshine (before the FBI raid)

Do people stand upside down on the southern hemisphere?

[Virgil]

No, but they walk backwards.

Where does the electricity come from when the switch gets flipped on?

[Maryd.]

After the electrician wires up you home, he builds a little tunnel inside the wall and every time you switch on a light he puts his finger on the switch. And the light just appears.

Are you the queen of England?

[Zeniyama]

Sometimes on weekends, but for the most part only on tv...

When is midnight?

[Maryd.]

Really late.

When is midday?

[Haunted]

when we wake up from a hangover

how do I convert meters to feet?

[Maryd.]

By walking on a meter ruler.

How do I eat a watermelon, without swallowing pips?

[Haunted]

Cut it in half, so you have water and melon. Take the water and wash off the pips, then eat the melon

what's the easiest way to open a coconut

[Maryd.]

(You're cracking me up here.)

Knock it on your head.

What time is it, when your clock stops?

[Haunted]

Don't know. Wear a watch next time.

After I finish eating the bag of nuts, what do I do with the bolts?

[Maryd.]

You put them in Frankenstein's neck.

Is Frankenstein real?

[Haunted]

Yes he's real. He's your family physician.

do I have two heads?

[Maryd.]

You must have, where else would you keep all the brains you have?

How many brains do you have?

[Haunted]

I'll check...what do they look like?

what happens when a disco ball stops spinning?

[Maryd.]

The world comes to an end.

Where is America?

[Heathcliff]

North-west from here. About a six-month swim.

How can I use an electric kettle if I don't have a stove-top?

[Satan]

A roo knows ...somewhere.

Why are spheres spherical?

[Maryd.]

Oh, I know this one... Nope there's nothing that rolls to mind!

Is the moon as big in your country as it is in ours?

[Satan]

Can't say, but both look like pancakes.

Why do aliens love America?

[Maryd.]

Because all American's taste like McDonalds.

Do Aussies hop like Kangaroos?

[Satan]

No, because that'd be racist.

Why is there something instead of nothing?

[Maryd.]

It's like the chicken and the egg... Which one came first, something or nothing?

Are you a king?

[Satan]

I was, and then it rained.

If sex was painful, would there be so many?

[Maryd.]

I don't understand your question... So I will have to say... Gooo gaaa gaaa!

Are you a computer?

[Satan]

No, I'm intelligent.

What if pigs could fly?

[Haunted]

then you wouldn't have bacon for breakfast

can I sew with a pine needle?

[Satan]

No, it's a carnal sin. Tom Cruise said so.

How do ghosts walk if their legs are buried?

[Haunted]

they leave their legs in the ground and float in an orb

If the aliens ask me to take them to the leader, who do I take them to?

[Veho]

Buzz Lightyear.

Is a pineapple more intelligent than a coconut?

[Maryd.]

Yes, because they are prettier.

When is a tree, not a tree?

[Heathcliff]

When it grows wings and flies away.

Did you steal the cookie from the cookie jar?

[Haunted]

Not me. I stole the jar, but left the cookie.

Why don't cats like getting wet?

[BienvenuJDC]

They saw The Wizard of Oz...

Where does the Red brick road lead to that starts in Munchkin land?

[Haunted]

the red brick road leads to Dunkin' Donuts that sells all those yummy munchkins that you find in Munchkin land

will a car roll on 4 donuts?

[BienvenuJDC]

Not if they are stick donuts...

Can fat people skinny dip?

[Haunted]

nope, only skinny people can skinny dip

are there dead things on a dead end street?

[BienvenuJDC]

No...it's the END of the dead...they all turn alive there...

If the average foot is less than 12 inches, then why do they call it a foot?

[Haunted]

because Big Foot says so

Ever heard of a metric system?

[Maryd.]

Yes, that's when the measure how big an item is before you purhcase it... The bigger the item the more you have to pay.

Have you heard of the Muffin Man?

[BienvenuJDC]

Yes...and I head that you can't keep your hands off of his muffins...

Does every cloud have a silver lining?

[Maryd.]

Yes, how do you think they make silver jewellery.

Is there really such a thing as the boogie man?

[BienvenuJDC]

Yes...when I make little green men out of my boogies...

Do you think that I'm gross?

[Maryd.]

eeewiiee, um I'll have to say yes to that last question, sorry Bien.

Are you happy with litnet?

[Satan]

I'll have to calculate that.

Why was Freud so obsessed with his mother?

[Maryd.]

Because she was the only one he had

Why, are you obsessed with his mother as well?

[Satan]

Jung would despise me for that.

Why is Woods such a tiger?

[Maryd.]

(:lol::lol:You crack me up) Because he deals with jungle animals.:lol:

Why do they call the press - the press?

[Satan]

'Cause it smokes without fire.

Why do people hate ginger-heads?

[Maryd.]

Because they are expecting Ginger Rogers to dance over their heads.

Why do people need to eat?

[Satan]

To justify the need for toilets.

Why don't fishes talk?

[Heathcliff]

They have bad breath.

Why isn't this red pen writing on the red paper?

[Satan]

It's el communista.

Did Cathy really love Linton?

[Heathcliff]

Linton loved himself.

How do birds sleep?

[Satan]

Little pretenders them lot are. <Texan accent>

Is cricket is noisy game or a nosy creature?

[Heathcliff]

Neither. The game is very quiet unless something actually happens. The insects should mind their own business otherwise they get smacked.

Why did the lemon cross the road?

[Satan]

It was late for a cocktail party.

Do books want to be read?

[Maryd.]

Yes of course, who do you think edits them.


Is the moon where you live and the moon where I live, related to each other?

[Satan]

Mine is schizophrenic.

Why are women unpredictable?

[Maryd.]

Because their partners are never around to help them make up their minds... (Hahahaha)

Why are men so pushy?

[Satan]

Aggressiveness is in our hormones. Can't help much. ;)

Why are there more guns than books in this world?

[Maryd.]

Because guns can't read.

Why is the sun hot?

[Satan]

Because of page-3.

Why are Japs so weird?

[Maryd.]

I am going to assume you are talking about the pumpkin... So they make the name pumpkin soup sound real.

What is the difference between a woman and a man?

[Satan]

We can have a beer gut.

Why are midgets so funny?

[Maryd.]

Hm. Thanks, you think I'm funny.

Why are tall people so funny.

[Satan]

Oh, c'mon! You made me laugh so hard. :P

'Cause they play basketball all day.

Why do roses have thorns?

[Maryd.]

It's there defense mechanism, against rose pickers. (Acutually they make thornless rosese now... I have some beautifu thornless roses in my garden) Sorry I get so sidetracked.

Why do jockeys ride horses?

[Satan]

They're nostalgic.

Why is Santa always laughing?

[Maryd.]

Because he's the one with the big sack.

Why does It get dark at night?

[Satan]

Showtime!

Why did two bald men fight over a comb?

[Maryd.]

(You character - so funny) Because their wives needed it.


Why are do we have different time zones?

[Satan]

Everyone on committee played musical chairs.

Are dolphins really in love with us?

[Maryd.]

We wish, the are in love with a pets, but try to befriend us to get to them.

Why can't pets clean up after us?

[Satan]

They lick their paws.

Why are mole rats so ugly?

[Maryd.]

Because the are hairy.

Why am I so stubborn?

[Veho]

Because you decided you want to be and noone's going to persuade you otherwise.

Why don't we have feet like a Hobbit's?

[Maryd.]

Because theirs are too good for us.

What time is it when it is late?

[Heathcliff]

Tomorrow.

How does a banana feel?

[Maryd.]

Well, he and I are good friends and he said he shouldn't have to peel for anyone...:lol:

How does a baby feel?

[Satan]

Like Gulliver in Brobdingnag.

How tall would you be in Flatland?

[Rolls_Rave]

As tall as normal

Would you dance on the desk???

[Satan]

You can't be tall in a two-dimensional world. Burn him!!

No, I wouldn't.

Would you walk naked in Amazon rainforest?

[Maryd.]

No, might scare off what ever animal exists there.

Would you scream like a girl if you were terrified of somethng.

[Heathcliff]

Of course, I usually do.

Are you a lion?

[Maryd.]

No, I am a cute puppy.

Are you friendly?

[Satan]

I think I am.

Don't you agree?

[Veho]

I agree to agree to disagree to agree about the disagreement that we've agreed on.

Do camels have a compass built in to them?

[bjb]

No, they are tamed and trained or fain a connection with humans they don't feel?
What did you eat for breakfast last Saturday?
bjb

[Haunted]

Last Saturday? I ate Friday for breakfast.

will bjb brb?

[BienvenuJDC]

bjb will brb after these messages...

What would it take to bring you peace?

[Maryd.]

A bigger piece.

What would it take to bring you happiness?

[Heathcliff]

I don't think it will fit in a car, I need a truck.

What happened to the snowman's carrot nose?

[Maryd.]

I hear a rumour Satan likes carrots, I think he ate it.

Is the snowman real?

[Satan]

He's behind the whole global-warming fiasco. Sneaky creature!

Do butterflies know what the butterfly effect is?

[Maryd.]

Yes, it goes like this... "Awwww, look at all the beautiful colours"
(Sorry, I'm not the clever one of the family:p)

Why do dogs bark?

[Satan]

'Cause no one told them it was impolite to.

Why do all ants look the same?

[Maryd.]

Because the queen ant married all of their fathers.

Why can't I see your fingers typing?

[Satan]

'Cause your window was minimized. :D (Actually, I'm working on a document simultaneously.)

Do you now wish you could punch me through your screen?

[Maryd.]

No, I might hurt the computer.

Do computers have feelings?

[Lacra]

I'll do a google research, then I'll answer you if the computers have got any feelings.

[Heathcliff]

I think my computer is asleep. There are times when it gets angry.
At school, I could've sworn my computer said 'self-destruct' on it.

Are there counsellors for computers?

[Haunted]

Yes there are...it's another computer.

Can one get drunk leaning all night on the spacebar?

[BienvenuJDC]

No...but you can get spaced...

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[Heathcliff]

None, he needs an axe.

Why did the the tree chop down the man?

[NikolaiI]

Because he was enchanted and cursed.

Have you seen the disappearing magician?

[Heathcliff]

Yea, I think he's my neighbour.

Do you know the muffin man?

[Maryd.]

Is he the one who bakes bread?

Do you have one or two moons, where you live?

[Satan]

None. Gov't banned moons because of the whole werewolf business.

Are dragons for real?

[Maryd.]

Only in an office, they are women who type and tell everyone what to do... I think they call them dragonladies.

Easter is coming, does the Easter Bunny really exist?

[skib]

Of course. It's tradition to eat rabbit on Easter in my family.

Why does taking 4 decent sized chunks out of your hand in two days hurt like heck?

[Heathcliff]

Ouch. Yes. Only I don't do much to my hand.

What did the needle say to the haystack?

[Maryd.]

Move the hay out of the way.

Why are people so nasty?

[Satan]

They learned from the monkeys.

Are we alone in this universe?

[Maryd.]

No, I think my dog, cat, budgie and bird eating spider are with us.

Do you think humans will ever be free?

[Satan]

No. Absolute freedom is solitary, depressing and meaningless.

Why do most people watch sports instead of playing?

[Maryd.]

Because they are afraid of becoming thin.

Why do people need each other?

[Lacra]

Because we are "social animals" and we do like to socialize...

Why there are troublemakers on this world?

[skib]

what fun would it be if all of us troublemakers didn't raise hell? :p

why do some people never cause trouble?

[Maryd.]

Because if you look closely, you shall see wings...:angel:

What time is when it is early?

[Heathcliff]

Too late to sleep.

What colour is a blue balloon?

[Maryd.]

Blue balloons can be red, can't they?

Where is the middle of the world?

[Heathcliff]

Local train station.

What bus stop can I catch the train at?

[hack]

It takes monstrous hands to catch a train,
and bigger still to catch the at.
While you were waiting in the rain,
the bus, alas, has killed the cat.


How does a chimi changa?

[Maryd.]

It moves it's hips.

How does a tree grow?

[Silas Thorne]

slowly

Why do we have governments?

[Maryd.]

So that the world can have something to argue about!

Why do we have Television?

[Silas Thorne]

Mainly for advertising nowadays.

why do they still play rugby in thick fog, even though few people can see anything?

[Heathcliff]

They ran out of places to put the fog.

Where do the clouds go at night?

[hack]

to sleep



Why nimbus? Threshing floor?

[Heathcliff]

It is the fastest.

Why did you paint the invisible car?

[Maryd.]

Was that invisible???

Why do all men snore?

[Heathcliff]

Because... ehe... ehe... hehe...

Why do penguins fly?

[Maryd.]

To catch up with pigeons.

Why don't pigs fly?

[hack]

bad drag coefficient




What does drag really accomplish,
except in the long run?

[BienvenuJDC]

Drag...and it's not pretty...
http://news.softpedia.com/images/news2/Guess-Who-Else-Likes-to-Dress-in-Drag-2.jpg

When are we going to realize that men don't look good as women?

[hack]

Speak for yourself, I may be delusional but, I still feel pretty.



What's the deal with mitochondria?

[Heathcliff]

It ate the fish.

What makes the world go round?

[DanielBenoit]

Euclidean geometry.

Why do I have to sleep?

[Heathcliff]

Because the moon said so.

Why did the moon eat the stars?

[Maryd.]

Because it ran out of cheese.

What makes the moon shine?

[Virgil]

Shoe polish.

Why must teeth be brushed?

[Snowqueen]

To swallow tooth-paste before going to bed. :sick:


Why do we smile?

[toni]

So our mouth won't fade away.


Why are you here?

[DanielBenoit]

That's not a stupid question! :p
As a matter of fact, I'm here to tell you "That's not a stupid question! :p" and to say "As a matter of fact, I'm here to tell you 'That's not a stupid question! :p' and to say 'As a matter of fact I'm here to tell you .. . . . . '"

Why is the sun happy?

[toni]

Because it resembles a giant egg yolk. A cosmic egg yolk. :lol:

Why do some vampires sparkle?
(That was an extremely stupid question)
:p

[hack]

glint



Hobo camp?

[Heathcliff]

Are we at a camp?

Why did my plant die?