Ask A Stupid Question, Get A Stupid Answer

[Bakiryu]

maybe he got it at the black market!

are little red ridding hood and robin hood related?

[Weisinheimer]

They're married.

Why don't the windows in the back seat of cars go all the way down?

[the silent x]

cause the government has to have the subliminal projection units in the door



why can't you see someone wearing woodland camoflage when they are blending in witha tree, but you can when they are standing in the open?

[Pendragon]

Are you certain that you understand the meaning of the word "camouflage?" http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Duh.gif

If we were all invisible, would we still wear clothes?

[Weisinheimer]

Of course, just in case someone bumps into you.

Why does it hurt my eyes to stare at the sun?

[kiz_paws]

Because it is through this one optical disk that the aliens have a chance at laser beaming us, and the laser beams are only enacted when a pair of eyes glances directly up there...

Why does caffeine make some people antsy and other sluggish?

[Pendragon]

Genes. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/MP.gif

Why do you forget your personal information but not the words to a song you can't stand!? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Medusa.gif

[kiz_paws]

The additives that they are insidiously adding to our cornflakes is taking its toll...

Why are there less than the amount of raisins promised in every bowl of Raisin Bran? :flare:

[samercury]

Because the bowl steals half of them.

Why is one one?

[kathycf]

Because it isn't two.

Are French fries really from France?

[samercury]

No, but if you eat part of the top, it ends of looking life the Eiffel Tower... kind of

Why are books called books?

[symphony]

Cuz otherwise we'd be saying, "Hey did u know that the new booger by Brown just hit the markets!"

Why dont we die before we actually die?

[Pendragon]

Youse got a death wish or somethin' guy? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/DaGodfeather.jpg

Why does your life flash before your eyes during near death experiences--it's a re-run?

[kathycf]

Nature's way of reminding you of all the silly questions you asked.

Why was Curious George so curious?

[samercury]

He got hypnotized by all the yellow.

Why are pineapples called that ('ve been wondering that for a while)?

[Weisinheimer]

because that's what you get when you cross a pine tree with an apple tree.

Why do cows smell so bad?

[samercury]

They're trying to get people not to eat them.

Why do I keep on hearing that song everywhere?

[littlewing53]

it's number one on the music charts

why do we hafta turn the pages in book?

[Bakiryu]

because we're not telekinetic?

why are teddy bears so cuddly?

[samercury]

They have a plan to take over the world and need your trust to make it happen?

Why do the disney princesses (from different worlds) never look at each other when they're on the same thing?

[Pendragon]

Royal snobishness. Prince Charles would be a good example here... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/FrogPrince.gif

Why do the good guys always win, when the bad guys are better armed?

[Bakiryu]

because if they lost the bad guys wouldn't get to return in the sequel?

Can you sweep with a flying broomstick?

[kiz_paws]

I'll have to get off mine and try it! :lol:

Why do horses have to wear horseshoes?

[Pendragon]

You expect them to wear maybe stilleto high-heels? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Horsey.gif

Why do cows chew their cud? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Bored_cow_2.gif

[Weisinheimer]

They get bored.

Why do we have to have different shaped glass for different drinks?

[Pendragon]

The people who do the washing up get bored!

Why do people think large brandy snifters make them look sophisticated instead of rather campy? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/BS.jpg

[kiz_paws]

Actually they are merely cradling the glass to practice the hand movements that will direct the next musical production...

Why do conductors need a wand to direct their orchestra?

[Pendragon]

Actually they are hoping the bloody lot will disappear! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/painting-flowers.gif

Why does the sypmony lull you to sleep then wake you up with a rude crash of cymbals and kettle drums? http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/muede/d015.gif

[kiz_paws]

Well, they aren't actually playing those crashing noises... those rude sounds are actually the brass players bonking each other on the head to tease the conductor, and the occasional instrument smacks into someone elses...

Why is it that at night, my creativity dwindles...

[Pendragon]

You keep forgetting to "burp" its Tupperware ™ Container! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Fly.gifhttp://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Fly.gifhttp://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Fly.gif

How do you "knock someone's lights out" when "lights" in the term "liver and lights" refers to lungs? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/funky_chicken.gif

[kiz_paws]

Just play the Pat Travers song, Boom Boom Out Go The Lights, and then pour yourself a nice lemonade, knowing that the job got done.

Why do woodticks come out only at certain times of the year?

[Pendragon]

I don't know but they can all go visit this guy: http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Devil.gif I've never seen so many in my life as are out this year!

They say "All dogs go to heaven." Does that mean "All other pets go to the hot place?" http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/devwmn.gif

[Bakiryu]

Maybe. Hot dogs have to come from somewhere. Maybe they're not really dogs?

Why isn't there such a thing as a hot cat?

[Shalot]

Why isn't there such a thing as a hot cat?

But there is - you've just got to use your imagination and improvise a litte.

Why do the interior designers on these home improvement/decorating shows use the word "pop" when they are describing their color choices for a particular room?

[Pendragon]

My deah, they would not be caught dead saying the words: "in vogue." http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Goth.gif

Why do all these people imagine they know more what we want than we do? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Nuts.gif

[pika]

because if they don't "imagine" their brain will go dead, if u don't use it you'll lose it!!
Why don't we have more than 2 hands

[Pendragon]

Shirtmakers. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Soccar.gif

Why doesn't Bigfoot just kick in the door and say "Honey, I'm home!" to those skeptics? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Kong.gif

[kiz_paws]

He did, and they have made a tv series about it (he even has a kid named Bart...) and is a happy millionaire now!

Why does hairspray attract wasps?

[Pendragon]

Empty Nest Syndrome...http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Stinger.gif

Why do watched pots never boil?

[kiz_paws]

because their mom told them it was deemed impolite to boil while watched.

Where do butterflies go when it rains?

[kandaurov]

Wherever they usually go. They're so very thin that the likelihood of having their frail wings smashed by a raindrop are next to nothing. I would know: I have been one in my past life.

Does anyone in the world still use the expression "like water off a duck's back"?

[Weisinheimer]

Everyone does; where have you been?

How come we don't grow hair on the soles of our feet?

[Pendragon]

Wear and tear.

Why do "only the good die young"?

[kiz_paws]

Perhaps to create a legend... Funny, I have wondered that same thing, Pen!

Why are beeswax candles dripless whereas the other candles make a mess?

[Shalot]

because the Queen bee would be very irate with the kind of mess that comes from ordinary candles.

why do birds suddenly appear?

[Pendragon]

The Great Spirit...

The real question is, why do they choose to poo just after I wash my truck? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Trucker.gif

[Weisinheimer]

conspiracy, they are all out to get ya.

How many stars are there?

[Pendragon]

That information is highly classified, and you do not have enough clearance! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Nun.gif


How many grains of sand will you count before you find out it is pointless? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Geek.gif

[Weisinheimer]

None, I'm way too lazy.

If I had feathers, would I be able to fly?

[ennison]

not if you were over six foot tall with a long neck and Australian.

Why do we never say a well-laundered,well-dressed man is shevelled?

[andave_ya]

because that would be "dis" -ing him :lol:

Why did Gwyneth Paltrow name her daughter Apple?

[ennison]

So that if she has another she'll have a pear.

Why oh why did thingymebob name his daughter Fifi?

[andave_ya]

because he always wanted a French poodle "when he was a child"

Who's thingymebob?

[Pendragon]

Son of Whatcha'call'im and Forgot'ername. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/HeyHansome.gif

Ever been to you?

[Shalot]

yes, but only on Thursday.

If dragons breathe fire, does this mean that they fart and burp fire also?

[Virgil]

Yes, isn't that common knowledge.

When one is in the dark, do their ears grow?

[aldana]

of course not! you need the sun light to make them grow duh!!

what happens if i cannot get rid of the hiccups? :(

[Virgil]

You suck into yourself. ;)

What happens if a dog licks your tongue?


Welcome to lit net Aldana, by the way. :)

[kiz_paws]

Then you too shall share the secrets of the canine species...

Why does the smell of a tire shop choke me up?

[aldana]

:sick: kinda yucky :sick:
you become a warewolf/dog:lol:

thanks for the welcoming message!!! I really like it here so far!! :thumbs_up :D

how can i get rid of my hiccups? :p :D

[aldana]

You suck into yourself. ;)

What happens if a dog licks your tongue?


Welcome to lit net Aldana, by the way. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kinda yucky
you become a warewolf/dog

thanks for the welcoming message!!! I really like it here so far!!

how can i get rid of my hiccups?
__________________

[kiz_paws]

Welcome, Aldana from me too.

So, in the spirit of this thread, to rid yourself of the hiccups, you must say your name backwards three times while hopping on your left foot, then run to the nearest tree, gently pluck a leaf from it, and place the leaf in your right sock. Now your hiccups are cured.

Why do hornets build massive nests for just one beastie??

[mushaboo]

because like humans they exagerate in 70% of the things they do


Why do people skip in the lunchroom line?

[kiz_paws]

So that no one will notice their drooling... :lol:

Why is it so much fun to receive parcels in the mail?

[B-Mental]

because parcels give off pheremones that make you feel happy.

When is the best time to clip your toe-nails?

[aldana]

because parcels give off pheremones that make you feel happy.

When is the best time to clip your toe-nails?

After a long bath when they are soft and mushy.-:lol: ..yuk:sick:

what do i have to wear on a saturday night outing to find a future husband?

[Brigitte]

You should wear 50s attire. It'll make you look like a pleasant housewife. :0

What does marker taste like?

[kiz_paws]

Clouds

why do some people wear shoulder pads in their clothing?

[Petruchio]

To confirm that they are jerks!

Why do we not have our eyes on our fingers?

[Pendragon]

Rough on typists! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Type.gif

Who was the dope who laid out the keyboard with the letters out of alphabetic order? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Smirk.gif

[applepie]

The same one who thought it was a good idea to put all the USB and firewire plugs on the BACK of my computer. Aaargh!

Why do you have to make polite small talk at parties?

[kiz_paws]

Because impolite talk could ruin appetites.

Why do proper bone china teacups have such teeeeeeny holders?

[aldana]

because they have tiny winy fingers :) -just kidding :p

why are earphones so big...that they don't fit in and hurt!!!???:flare:

[kiz_paws]

Because the aliens that are taking over need us to change our ear size to adapt to the new up coming race...

Do toads REALLY give you warts, or is that a mother-told-ya tale?

[aldana]

in my country...if you HAVE a wart, you have to rub it with a toad and it'll go away (go figure!):lol:

and if you kiss a frog, will you really get a charming prince?? :idea:

[applepie]

Of course, it always works in fairy tales.

Why are there so many different words that sound alike but mean different things?

[aldana]

Of course, it always works in fairy tales.

Why are there so many different words that sound alike but mean different things?

Because that's they way it's meant to be...complicated :alien:

why do women take after their husbands name? why isn't there a Mr Aldana Spinozzi instead of Mrs John Smith?

[Shurtugal]

because we never thought different. until now!

why do books make you go crazy?

[Pendragon]

Do not blame books for your own neurosis! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/TID.gif

Why do people only offer to help when a.) you are already finished; b.) you don't need help, or c.) they know nothing about the job to be done? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Nuts.gif

[kiz_paws]

So that they look helpful, when in reality, they are lazy and good at disguising it?

Why do people throw spaghetti at the wall to test its doneness?

[Weisinheimer]

because walls are experts on spegetti.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[kiz_paws]

George W. Bush's Answer:Look, it's tough crossin' the road. The chicken knows it's tough. The American people have got to understand that I know the chicken knows it's tough. I read the report. But the chicken's on the march. And it will get the job done .

Albert Einstein's Answer:That depends on the observer's inertial frame of reference

Mr. Spock's Answer:Did the chicken cross the road? If he crossed the road certainly he had no reason to as a chicken as it would mean expending more effort than the food he would find on the other side could provide the energy for. If he crossed the road.... that can only mean that Colonel Sanders was close behind and closing in on him. Captain- if we can approach Colonel Sanders from the correct approaching angle, we may stop him from strangling the chicken. *looks pensive, then checks Captain*.

Enya's Answer:"The great journey that was before the chicken then was what was destined to be. Now the chicken is sorrowful, the road is long past." (When translated from Irish Gaelic)

Sorry I could NOT resist the temptation....
(these answers I Googled, just for the records...)

QUESTION: is there more salt water in the world than fresh water?

[aldana]

obviously YES!!!

will a new ice age cover the earth in the near future? (kind of "the day after tomorrow" type of thing...:p)

[symphony]

earth's cool :cool: so why not?!

what could have happened if Shakespeare were a born thicko?

[kiz_paws]

Well, the Bard Of Avon would have only been a cosmetic dealer?

Why are telephone poles made of wood?

[Pendragon]

I have seen them made of cement, but wood is more portable...

Who do you know in California? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/HUMPH.gif

[kiz_paws]

I know Mickey Mouse! :lol:

Who do you know in France?

[symphony]

idlers!

Who do u know in pluto?! :lol:

[Petruchio]

Goofy!!

Why doesn't Mickey Mouse live on Saturn???

[Pendragon]

He gets this ringing in his ears...

If "Goofy" is really "Goofy" how come he's the only one that actually has a "son" and not "nephews"?

[BibliophileTRJ]

If "Goofy" is really "Goofy" how come he's the only one that actually has a "son" and not "nephews"?

PEN!! What are you implying?!?!? That Daisy Duck and Minnie Mouse are both just "beards"? ;)

[kiz_paws]

Have I missed some important thing here?

Hi Biblio! :wave:

Question: Why isn't the human's sense of smell as acute as that of a canine?

[Shurtugal]

because people smell worse.

why does time seem to fly as you get older?

[motherhubbard]

because you are taller you stand closer to the sun and time moves faster when you're closer to the sun.

Why is it so easy to gain weight and so hard to loose it?

[Pendragon]

Gravity!

Why do people always think the worse?

EX:



PEN!! What are you implying?!?!? That Daisy Duck and Minnie Mouse are both just "beards"?

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/ROFL.gif

No, Bib, but you gotta admit it's funny that Donald and Daisy are an "item" and Mickey and Minnie are and "item" , yet Donald raises three "nephews" Huey, Dewey, and Louie, and Mickey has "nephews" Mortimer and Ferdy. But old Goofy has a son! No wife around, she split or is dead, but he has a son!

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/ROFL.gif

[applepie]

Because if we thought the best the world would end

Why is it so often wrong to tell the truth? Like when someone is being an idiot, you shouldn't say so even if it is true.

[BibliophileTRJ]

Why do people always think the worse?

No, Bib, but you gotta admit it's funny that Donald and Daisy are an "item" and Mickey and Minnie are and "item" , yet Donald raises three "nephews" Huey, Dewey, and Louie, and Mickey has "nephews" Mortimer and Ferdy. But old Goofy has a son! No wife around, she split or is dead, but he has a son!



Pen, buddy, YOU might consider the scenario I put forth to be "the worse"; but I personally was delighted that someone besides myself finds the situation(s) that you've outlined above to be a bit "funny". (I wonder about Bert & Ernie, as well....)

I realize that I'm grasping at straws here; but as a kid I was desperate to find positive role models like myself. If thats "the worse" I cannot apologize for it.

My "stupid answer" to the "stupid question" is:
Because all of the clouds up there on the high road make it monotonous.... all the action is down here on the low road!

I see that mkhockenberry posted a new question ahead of me So I'll pass that one along:

Why is it so often wrong to tell the truth? Like when someone is being an idiot, you shouldn't say so even if it is true.

[Shalot]

because idiots may not be able to handle the truth. If they could, wouldn't they have gotten the clue by now?

[Pendragon]

Pen, buddy, YOU might consider the scenario I put forth to be "the worse"; but I personally was delighted that someone besides myself finds the situation(s) that you've outlined above to be a bit "funny". (I wonder about Bert & Ernie, as well....)

I realize that I'm grasping at straws here; but as a kid I was desperate to find positive role models like myself. If thats "the worse" I cannot apologize for it.

My "stupid answer" to the "stupid question" is:
Because all of the clouds up there on the high road make it monotonous.... all the action is down here on the low road!

I see that mkhockenberry posted a new question ahead of me So I'll pass that one along:

Why is it so often wrong to tell the truth? Like when someone is being an idiot, you shouldn't say so even if it is true. Excuse me, Bib, mon ami. You are such a good friend I would not dream of insulting you or your chosen lifestyle. Call it a brainfreeze, caused mainly because I didn't understand your term "beards", I confess that is a new one for me. I would never dream of being disrespecful, and if I hurt your feelings I am so sorry.

On the plus side, yes, I always found those characters amusing in their tete a tete, I think if you dig deep enough, there is some sort of explaination given for Donald's nephews, but not for Mickey's. Goofy has a wife in the old cartoons who looks perfectly human, always shown in sillouite. But when his son became a big thing, he has no wife, and Black Pete, Mickey's Nemesis is his neighbor!

Give me a kick or two sometimes to remind me that I should be more careful, mon ami. I value your friendship, and wouldn't want to loose it!

To answer questions: Sometimes you should tell someone he's being less than tactful, and to wise up before he has to eat crow! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/BlackCrow.gif

How do you like your crow when you have to eat it, baked, boiled, or fried? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Red.gif

[applepie]

None, I refuse to eat crow. I like my foot fried, though:)

You always hear that you will die, marry, have kids, and any number of things when the time is right. So, when is the right time?

[Brigitte]

When you hear the grandfather clock ticking.

Why are cars all girls?

[Pendragon]

Biologically speaking, they can't all be, else where do new cars come from? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Duh.gif

Why do we try to keep up with the Jones'? Who do they try to keep up with?

[Brigitte]

Don't you mean the Jetsons? And nahh, they have it all.

What does this mean: :banana:??

[kathycf]

What does this mean: :banana:??

While commonly it is thought that a dancing banana signifies excitement, enthusiasm or joy, in truth the banana is frantically trying to signal that it is being held hostage. Sad, really.



What does this mean? http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h56/kathycf/smileys/anim_broc.gif

[applepie]

It means you really really need to go to the bathroom. Can't anyone else see the pee pee dance?:)

Why don't dolphins rule the world?

[the silent x]

cause then there wouldn't be a place for humans to rule

do you get burned when you touch fire?

[Pendragon]

I'm not the Salamander of legend, you know! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Duh.gif

Why does a Unicorn only have one horn?

[BibliophileTRJ]

Because the second horn was stolen by the Narwhal.

http://www.erichufschmid.net/NarwhalTusk.JPG

http://www.lair2000.net/Unicorn_Dreams/Unicorn_Physiology/1narwhale.gif

How do you get to Carnegie Hall?

[kathycf]

In a car, or by walking.

Why are computers always a boring grey color?

[applepie]

If they came in bright colors our eyes would implode.

No one thinks your crazy when making conversation, so why are you considered insane if you have the conversation with yourself?

[symphony]

because basically, conversation with a crazy human being is considered crazy.

why is the species Homo sapiens going extinct??!

[Shalot]

Because species homoerectiledys function is taking over

why can't we all just get along?

[RespectEarth]

Because life is not an episode of the Brady Bunch.


Why do people conform?

[Pendragon]

Because they are more like sheep than salmon, the salmon swim upstream, fighting the current, the sheep follow the herd.

Why does every yahoo on the planet think he or she is the only one right?

[kiz_paws]

Because the yahoos go through life with teeeeny blinders on, that are only visible to the other yahoos out there, and so on it goes.

Why does a stitch in time save nine?

[BibliophileTRJ]

Stitch is doing the best he can...... nine is a lot.... can't save EVERYONE!

Now my favorite question:

What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor, early in the mornin'?

[Pendragon]

Leave his sorry tail in the ditch where he passed out last night, if he ain't back aboard ship when we sail!

Is is possible to be serious while sitting, ah, "underclothed" in a Doctor's office? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Doc.gif

[andave_ya]

Nope it is not. I had a doctor who was the sweetest thing but even so, it is probably the most freakishly embarrassing things I have to do.

what do you think of the Olsen twins?

[ktd222]

are they maternal twins?

where did you go?

[Pendragon]

Grandama's house. It's just over the river and through the woods... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Yo.gif

A wolf? In a nighty? Was Red Riding Hood rather near-sighted?

[Shurtugal]

no. she was just plane old blind!

why do flowers wilt evan when they have water?

[Shalot]

Stitch is doing the best he can...... nine is a lot.... can't save EVERYONE!

Now my favorite question:

What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor, early in the mornin'?

he he biblio --- I can't tell you how many times I have gone around with this song in my head! That made me smile on a crappy crappy Friday!!!

Flowers wilt even when they have water because they were thinking sour thoughts --- just like crusty old office women passing the day under harsh neon light thinking about the ruins of their wasted lives!

Why is all the good stuff fattening?

[Adolescent09]

Because if it wasn't fattening what else would give us all the beautifully luscious and sexy fat girls in the world!?!

Why are Jordans ridiculously comfortable, yet Reeboks the preferable brand?

[spa girl]

Advertising. People are sheep.

How can anyone dislike getting massages?

[farnoosh]

(we have to say a stuped answer right?)so..

i like getting messages

why is a cow so big?

[Reccura]

because there's a milking factory inside a cow's belly... So that she wouldn't run out of milk!!

let me think of a stupid question.... Oh, okay....

Why can't it rain marshmallows? That would BE REALLY helpful... because my sisters and I are marshmallow addicts....

[zomgmouse]

because clouds are made of cotton wool, and you don't make marshmallows out of cotton wool.

hmm... something stupid..

Why can't each person have a personal Superman?

[Pendragon]

Most do, when they are small. He's called "Dad." Then they become teen-agers and he becomes "The so-far-out-of-it-it's-laughable old man." This usually comes back to bite them later in life when they have kids of their own... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Grin.gif


Why do teenagers honestly believe they have more expertise than a man with 30 years experience in the school of hard knocks? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Geezer.gif

[RobinHood3000]

Because they lack the experience of the school-of-hard-knocks graduate - they will soon enough. Mebbe.

Why are paper clips magnetic?

[Shalot]

It gives them that little extra something and serves as the liaison between the magent and the paper who otherwise couldn't get along without the paper clips magnetic feature

Why do people continue to do things that make them unhappy and unhealthy?

[Scharphedin2]

If they did not do things that made them unhappy and unhealthy, their colleagues at work would have no reason to sit and listen to them complain during lunch hour, and pretend that they feel really sorry for them.

Why did you change your avatar? (Shalot... I really liked the old one!! It was just perfect for "Shalot"!)

[Shalot]

I was tired of looking at that face. Also, the coworker who yelled at me on Friday sent me an email with that picture a long time ago and I am mad at her (well, I've been getting madder and madder as the weeks go by) so I decided to change it.

When do you think Axl Rose will come out with a new album?

[Pendragon]

Whenever he gets mad enough to scream again!

What's with the complaints about changing atvars?

[smartgirl]

We feel jealous that we can't change our avatars to cooler ones.

Does the Blue Man Group paint themselves blue, or do they have someone else do it?

[zomgmouse]

Elephants spray them with blue paint.

Why did Douglas Adams die? (well, I know it was a heart attack, but I want a more scifi answer)

[Pendragon]

Executed for excesive galactic hitchhiking... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Hitchhiker.gif

Where have all the poets gone?

[farnoosh]

under the ground to find worms

where do fly's go in the morning?

[Weisinheimer]

to the gym to work out.

What is light made of?

[smartgirl]

five letters of the alphabet.

Where do the lonely go?

[Pendragon]

Only the lonely know...

Which way to The Sad Cafe?

[kiz_paws]

due North

Why is it that, after a long and difficult life of scrimping and saving and doing without so many nice things, our elders' voices are not heard?

[Pendragon]

Few hear the dead...

Why do people make the same bloody mistakes over and over?

[Virgil]

Hi Pen :wave:

Because they have a broken record inside their head.

Why do people with allergies sneeze?

[kiz_paws]

Because the nose does need exercise, and that is the only way.

Why are cranberries so tart?

[Shalot]

Because they are slutty fruits.

Why is it that the poo hits the fan all at once?

[applepie]

Because they are slutty fruits.

Why is it that the poo hits the fan all at once?

So we can envision the fantastic splat factor:)

How can you be up a creek without a paddle? Wouldn't you be down the creek?

[Shalot]

How can you be up a creek without a paddle? Wouldn't you be down the creek?

that made me laugh

Maybe the creek is a metaphor for something else (or someplace else --- someplace real bad), and in the metaphor, being up the creek is worse than being down it :shrug:

Why do things go out of fashion?

[Pendragon]

What I can't figure out is how some things ever became fashion! I mean you ever watch some of these models on the runways in the latest "fashions", and see there and think, "Whoo yeah, Extreme sarcasm"That's going to be a big seller, provided everyone wants to look foolish!"

What's the latest "fad"?

[kiz_paws]

Yes, I often wonder how many beautiful ladies squeeze themselves into their lampshades and drape scarves a-plenty around the rest of their bodies in the name of fashion -- Five inch stilletoes look real nice mincing their way down stairs... Wow, fashion ...

The latest fad in my parts is to see young men with their trousers pulled down to almost their knees and they sport very loud and eye-mutilating boxer shorts. They actually get on buses like this, shop around town like this, and carry on in a seemingly 'normal' fashion -- the belts they use to keep the trousers just above the knees must be magic...

Oh, and don't forget the ball cap worn backwards. The finishing touch indeed.

And so I ask, forgive my repetition, Pen, What is the latest Fad?

[applepie]

that made me laugh


Glad I could make someone laugh it was one of those random thoughts that only come in the middle of the night and I just had to share:)

What is the latest fad...??? Who knows... maybe it is the iPhone, but it will change in another day or two so I can't really say. I think iPhones were the thing last week so maybe they are not anymore:)

Does water really go backwards in the toilet in the southern hemisphere??

[Laindessiel]

Yes, and the brown parts on the face of the Earth are what you call you-know-whats. What do you think would be the reason for the constantly erecting land mounds.

Why does reason rhyme? :p

[BibliophileTRJ]

maybe YOURS does; but theres no rhyme to my reason........


Where does wind come from?

[Bii]

mens bowels, obviously!

Why are Thursdays so exhausting?

[Pendragon]

Only day people really work. Breaks down this way:

Monday-- hangover.
Tuesday-- Still sick
Wednesday-- Mid-week crisis
Thurday-- Panic! Gotta get this stuff done or we will have to work the week-end!
Friday-- knock off as early as possible.
Saturday and Sunday-- do serious partying. Repeat. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/9to5.gif

Why do the people who won't do any work never get fired? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/GotGame.gif

[applepie]

Because if they do nothing they can't be blamed for anything worth terminating them.

Why can't days be 36 hours instead of only 24?

[Shurtugal]

because the scientist don't want to work more hours and so they lie and say that it's 24.

why am i crazy?

[PrinceMyshkin]

Because you tried being sane and it bored you silly!

Who's coming to dinner?

[Shurtugal]

my friend the dragon.

why can't we breath under water?

[motherhubbard]

Because our gills would interfere with our bras

Why can't I get all of my laundry done?

[Shalot]

Because you're wearing clothes while you're doing the laundry and those clothes that you're wearing are laundry potential --- not to mention the clothes all the people in your family are wearing. Those items they're wearing are potential laundry also. If you want to get all the laundry done, I suggest that everyone in your family wear paper clothes -- hospital gowns or something. and no towels are to be used or anything else that could become potential laundry.

Why does it cost so much to go to the doctor, and why am I paying for health insurance and why do I still owe money after paying for that so called health insurance?

[motherhubbard]

because you live in America!

Why can't I get my kitchen organized?

[Pendragon]

Home gnomes.

Why am I so clumsy?

[Shurtugal]

because you are always so giddy that you don't really pay attention fully and can't help dropping things.

[Bakiryu]

Why the heck do people think i'm a gypsy?!

[motherhubbard]

maybe it's the canastas

Are there still gypsies?

[Shurtugal]

yes... no... maybe so... i don't know?

why don't people believe in fairies?

[Bakiryu]

maybe it's the canastas

Are there still gypsies?

Yes, the Roma people (from whom I'm descended) still live in Europe, India and Mexico. (I don't own a canasta tought)

And Shurtsie: i do believe in fairies!

Most people don't because they think it's foolish (like the Easter Bunny)

[kiz_paws]

Huh?? Better say that quietly or Niamh will hear you! :lol:

Why do lumberjacks wear checkered shirts?

[Bakiryu]

because they're pretty and stripy!

Why is there gold at the end of the rainbow?

[kiz_paws]

There is gold all right -- it is the tooth cap of choice of trendy leperchauns. As for a pot of gold, well, that was spent on the tooth job.

Why do some people believe that chewing gum can whiten one's teeth?

[Pendragon]

Good advertising. They would never sell any junk with out the term "$19.95" or it's equilivant in other money. You see those comercials. "But if you call right now this incedible offer, valued at $120, can be yours for only $19.95."http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Arrowhead.gif

Why do people spend hard-earned money on that junk?

[Weeping Willow]

Cause we all havea little fat child dressed in pink dress inside of us.. we have compensate on that...

why people ask stupied questions?

[symphony]

to get stupid answers

why am i here instead of doing my homework?

[kiz_paws]

Because this is the place they call Nirvana ... and we all want some!

Why do some people insist on speeding like maniacs on the roads meant for doddering people like myself.... **Sheesh**

[samercury]

Because that's where they get their thrill :goof:

Why is Hello Kitty so fascinating to watch?

[Bakiryu]

because it uses it powers if cuteness to reel us in!

why are ninjas so cooool?

[Shurtugal]

name any other thing that goes around as silent as night wareing black and all that is seen are there eyes, oh, and they kick but like you kick dirt.

why where bugs creatated?

[Bakiryu]

so bird's have something to eat?

why does my cat have fleas? :bawling:

[Shurtugal]

oh, that's just to annoy you. haven't you figured that one out yet.

why does the sun rise from the east and never the west?

[Shalot]

because the sun likes to stick to his routine

why does the day at work drag on and the night hours at home fly by?

[Shurtugal]

because sun doesn't like the dark so it comes up as fast as it can.

[Bakiryu]

Why am I so sad PAM forgot to ask a question? :bawling:

[kiz_paws]

Because it said so in the script!

Why do some people party loudly at night and not at day?

[Shalot]

because daytime parties are crappy (also, if you need to hurl, you can go around the side of the house and no one will see you)

why can't I get back to that early to bed early to rise routine, because I am suddenly unable to fall asleep before 2 am

[kiz_paws]

Watch a really funny movie at 8:00 p.m. I mean REALLY funny, where you laugh your guts out. Be sure you do not have coke, pepsi, coffee in the meantime, nor a hot shower or bath. Go to bed and turn OFF your head. No more thoughts about what you should/could/might have said/done for the day. Guaranteed to work. Try it!

Why do I give such long-winded answers... :sick:

[RobinHood3000]

'Cuz. :p

Why is inspiration so hard to find?

[Pendragon]

It hides inside the windmills of your mind...

Why am I on line when I should be writting on that new short story?

[Shurtugal]

because the wonderful me(and everyone else here on litnet) give you inspirations to write. :D

Why don't my parents want me on for hours on end?

[Shalot]

because you'll be conversing with all the degenerates on lit net

why is it so fun to watch and rewatch the booty dance scene?

http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n25/Shalot_bucket/jake6-1-tm.jpg

[kiz_paws]

Because it beats the heck out of watching a boring 'lets make tea' scene :lol:

Why can't you cook eggs in the microwave? :flare:

[Bakiryu]

because they taste crummy.

why isn't the sky purple instead of blue?

[kiz_paws]

The aliens need to adjust their mood ring settings!

Why do some folks use a forked stick to determine where water is found? (the ancient art of Devining...)?

[Pendragon]

Because there's a guy in a red suit with a forked stick down there they hope will show them, because he hates water... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Devil.gif

Why do people worry about that stupid chicken crossing the road?

[kiz_paws]

Well, it wasn't really a chicken.... it was actually a wart hog, but the story has gotten very watered down over the years...

What are curds and whey and who would want to eat them anyhow...?

[Shurtugal]

i'm not postive what they are... but we eat them because we nothing else to do.

why do some people have to have the most complicated names that no one can pronounce?

[Shalot]

if shurtugal doesn't know the answer to that, then there's no hope for anyone else here

why is facial hair okay for a man but not okay for a woman?

[kiz_paws]

you mean it is all right for someone to sport a catepillar on their face??? :lol:

Why does Cupid have to use those sharp arrows to get us?

[weepingforloman]

The ones with the suction cups usually bounce off.

Why does rain follow me around? I've been in five states over the past 12 days, and it rained EVERY DAY.

[kiz_paws]

Because it is helping you WEEP for LOMAN! :lol:

Why are there so many pot-holes on the road?? :flare:

[Shurtugal]

so the poor people who don't have them can use them to cook. :lol:

why do we sound different on the phone or when we record areselves?

[Pendragon]

The world is out to get us...

Why does our most shining accomplishment always happen when there are no witnesses, so people think we are lying, but our most embarassing moments get caught on video? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Red.gif

[Shurtugal]

so we don't become vain... oh, and just to annoy us.

why does pendragon always get the coolest smilies?

[Pendragon]

Connections, capisce? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Gangster.gifhttp://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Moll.gif

Hasn't anyone ever heard of smiley.com?

[Shurtugal]

no, i haven't. but then again, i'm not an anyone, i'm an everyone! :D

why do some of my boy neighbors have contest who can scream like a girl better? (and they sound more like girls then i do!)

[Bakiryu]

Because screaming like a girl is fun? I do it with my cousin too and i sound like i'm the girl in a horror movie.

Why does the masked murdered always comes after the hot blond chick in movies?

[kiz_paws]

Because he likes chicken legs! :lol:

Why are zipper lock baggies often impossible to open when you are in a hurry!

[Bakiryu]

It's all an alien plot to make you late: that's why you should always wear ypur trusty tinfoil hat!

are aliens green?

[Shurtugal]

yes... no... maybe so.

why does my neighbor have to have a crush on me?

[Pendragon]

He doesn't have to. You ever considered maybe you are actually pretty?http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/IceDancer.gif

Why do girls reject the one guy who loves them to chase some jerk that could care less, or only has one thing on his dirty little mind? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/ISNF.gif

[Shurtugal]

i don't care about looks, me being a girl i can say this, and i wouldn't reject them if they truely loved me. (besides i'm not found of jerks). but for those who do think that is because they want to tell a sob story of how the man they thought they loved was a jerk and they want more guys to fall for them because of that.

and concerdering myself being pretty and all. i do some times, but then i become vain, and when i think i'm ugly i become depressed. 'tis a lose win situation. why is that? (that's the question)

[kiz_paws]

Why is that? Because waaaaaaaay up in the mountain, where the cougars dance, the Shaman told the wind that this is how it would be. And that is why.

Why are Aesop's Fables so interesting?

[Pendragon]

Talking animals.

Why do people always take me wrong?

[Shurtugal]

unless i'm taking you wrong now, i must say that i don't always take you wrong. but then again i'm probably not in the qualification of 'people'. but to answer your question, my dear friend, is not because they take you wrong (for you are right) but it is that they are just plain old wrong.

why do our brains die when we need them the most?

[kiz_paws]

its the tv I tell ya... the tv!!

Why don't more people familiarize themselves with simplicity instead of living this machine-gun-paced-life-of-ours!! :sick:

[Pendragon]

Small town life ain't what it used to be...

What happened to manners?

[Shurtugal]

my friend ate them and i was being to polite to tell her.

why do i freeze up when i should be letting some one know how i feel?

[samercury]

Because it's very, very hard to express how you feel

Why is it that the only time you need something, it's not there?

[Pendragon]

Because every time it was, you ignored it, and it went away...

How can something be so clear in one person's eyes and yet invisible to others? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Dontthinkso.gif

[Poetess]

because he sees better


who is the sky blue?

[Shurtugal]

WHY is the sky blue?

because is matches the white clouds.

why can't i sing well?

[Pendragon]

Ever consider that others may be tone-deaf?

Speaking of which, why is it that when you are the only person in the house that can play guitar, everyone else tells you you are playing a song wrong? As if they somehow know the right cords? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/GuitarMan.gif

[Shurtugal]

because they are jealous of your talent, aye?

why can birds fly and not i?

[Pendragon]

I assume you've tried?

Why do people always think everything impossible without trying it first?

[symphony]

cuz they dont try it first.

why are elder sisters bossy? :(

[stephofthenight]

why are elder sisters bossy? :(

u know i always wondered this im the youngest of three girls 24,17,15 i guess it is becasue they think that there older then u and have seniority...

why is there alphbet soup...? i never paid attention to the letters i ate the ones that looked alike and ran to play

[Pendragon]

They think you learn while you eat, absorbing knowledge through the stomach, in direct opposition to most public schools, where to call it "lunch" is extravagant flattery...

Since you are already bad off when you go to the hospital, why must the food generally make it worse?

[Domer121]

So that you don't get to comfortable....makes healing go faster, because you really want to get out of there..

Why are there usually bench's in parks??

pills11.com ;))

[Pendragon]

To park yo' fat bottom on and watch the chicks jog by! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Beautiful.gif

Why do health clubs and gyms sell snacks and sodas? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Pizza.gif

[motherhubbard]

To make sure you remain a faithful customer trying to work off that fat bottom

Why can I make awesome food for home, but when I make the same thing for a potluck it doesn't turn out?

[kiz_paws]

That means that you have mean-spirited shelf-monkeys lurking....

Why aren't dishes dry when they go through the 'dry' cycle on the dishwasher?

[Granny5]

To keep all the dish towel makers in business.

If I keep getting spam for colon cleansers does it mean I'm full of it?

[Shurtugal]

no... at least so i think. *wonder*

if you had a dragon what would you name it?

[Poetess]

dragonfly


why do poets write poetry?

[RoCKiTcZa]

who cares?

Why am I here?

[symphony]

to ask stupid questions.

why do people even bother to answer this?! :D

[RoCKiTcZa]

Because they bothered to answer them

Why did you?

[Pendragon]

To quote a famous man: "Because it's there!"

If you crossed a plum tree and a rubber tree would it grow bouncy balls?

[BibliophileTRJ]

Bouncy balls .... or plums that you could chew for days on end.

Have you ever heard the "crack of dawn"?

[hockeychick8792]

yeah I get up move at dawn and my neck cracks!

How come the everlast jawbreaks do not last forever!?

[Shurtugal]

because we would then get tired of them.

how do we think of these stupid questions? better yet, how do we answer them?

[Poetess]

we answer them by typing them on the keyboard


what is next?

[Granny5]

Another stupid question.

Why do chickens get up so early?

[Poetess]

to go "buc buc buc"


why do fishiesss goooo "pook pook pook"?

[Shalot]

so that we could all be entertained by Poetess's spelling of the sound they make :lol: that was awesome

do fishes pass gas underwater?

It's fish, but fishes is funnier and this is the ask a stupid question thread :nod:

[barbara0207]

Yes, but they make sure nobody sees the bubbles ...

(What a question to think of, Shalot! :lol: )

What does the shark do if he sees bubbles?

[BibliophileTRJ]

He swims away yelling "IEEEEEEWWWWWW!!! Fishie Farts!"

Whats the grossest thing you've ever eaten?

[rabid reader]

a human child :flare:

What is the meaning of toothpaste

[Pendragon]

My Aunt Rozelle's cooking. She could ruin the taste of ketchup! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Vomit.gif

What was thr riskest dare you ever took?

[Granny5]

Smoking a cigar in public when I was 13....got caught and was soooo sick

Why is a horse called a horse?

[Shalot]

I don't know why a horse is called a horse because no one can talk to a horse of course

(and if you can't talk to a horse, then the horse can't talk back so the world may never know)



why is soy so versatile?