Make A Wish

[rachel]

dear God YOUR WISH IS GRANTED.still even if you looked like that I would give you a hug and kiss. but for your sake....

I wish I wasn't still ill. help.

[chmpman]

Granted, someone gives you a special home-brewed remedy that makes you better, but you grow a mysterious beard.

I wish I didn't get songs stuck in my head so easily. It's always the same songs too!!

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but all the songs you know sound like one song to you.

I wish Robin's last response to me wouldn't come true:

Now you're reckless with your wishes, and everything turns out the worse for it.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! But now you're carefull and miserly with your wishes and the ones you do make don't come true at all.


I wish I had elf-ears.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted, but you also now have the dwarven complexion and facial hair. Mutant freak...


I wish for clean socks.

[Ryduce]

Granted,but now you have dirty underwear





I wish to meet Marty Mcfly.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Zap! Now you are in a DVD!

I wish to become famous.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but every one is either your uncle or aunt.

I wish that the negative effect of this would not occur:

Granted! But now you're carefull and miserly with your wishes and the ones you do make don't come true at all.

[Pendragon]

Ready? Granted! No positve nor negitive reactions will occur. All will be as if you had never wished at all....


I wish I could speak Spanish beyond a few simple phrases...

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, if you can make it beyond those few simple phrases!

I wish I could undo all the mistakes I have made, not now, but in the very past that I can no longer operate in.

[Riesa]

In honour of the Irish: "A man's errors are his portals of discovery.” ~ James Joyce

I wish I could be in a cottage in Ireland, away from the crowds, to celebrate St. Patricks Day.

[Virgil]

Granted. That's too pretty a wish to undermine.

I wish I could only work three days a week.

[Riesa]

Granted, but now there are only three days in the week.

I wish all news was good news.

[Virgil]

Granted. Now there's no news.


I wish I could breed dogs to sell. [only thing it might be too hard to give up all those adorable puppies.]

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Problem is, you can't control whether they are sold to good or bad homes...tragic.

I wish Tim Allen's Don't Stand Too Close To A Naked Man was required reading in school.

[classicsgirl]

Granted, but no one buys them.

I wish for peace

[classicsgirl]

i guess robinhood beat me to it virgil : (

[chmpman]

Granted, world peace is established by implementing the Tim Allen book as required reading, but everyone is so complacent all they want to do is sit around and eat ice cream, and no noteworthy works of art are created.

I wish I could speak, read, and write in every language known to man, with ease.

[Riesa]

Granted, you are a computer.

I wish men weren't such big BABIES when they get sick. :eek:

[chmpman]

Granted, but now you are and men can't empathize.

I wish I had the smarts of a computer with the emotional sensibility of Shakespeare.

[rachel]

granted but now every :sick: CEO is phoning you day and night and every girl,including the ones you cannot stand are ringing your doorbell, crawling thru your windows and throwing themselves against your shoulder for a hug and a heart to heart chat as well as a ring, a house and new car.

I wish I was finished my law studies and had my own practise, no embarrasing guy partners that think they are the end and be all. :sick: :blush:

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but all of your clients are chatty women whom the judge keeps kicking out of the court-room.

I wish I could make cheating mechanics switch their brand new cars for my abused vehicles.

[Pendragon]

Granted! But the brand-new cars have parts that break down and are only availible from the cheating mechanic.

I wish I could say the right thing in every situation without fail

[Whifflingpin]

Granted - you are now dumb
or Granted - now everyone hates you because you are such a prig

I wish I could make up my mind
.

[Riesa]

Granted, but it turns out you made the wrong choice.

I wish I could hold a tune.

[Weeping Willow]

ok but it's a tunA box :lol:....

I wish Riesa was Online... :sick:

[chmpman]

Granted, she is constantly online, neglecting her life only to realize one day that she is alone in the world and her posts become terribly depressing.

I wish I was slightly taller.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but you should think of getting rid of them high heels...

I wish i was someone else.

[Riesa]

:lol:
Granted, you are .000001 centimeter taller.

I wish I was better at pirate lingo.

[chmpman]

Granted, you are a pirate with scurvy. (Two birds...)

I wish I got paid more at work.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but you are paid with nuts... there you go 3 nuts instead of 2...

I wish i was Mexican.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted--but you live in Timbuktu. Good luck communicating, amigo...


I wish China wasn't communist.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted - it's now a fascist dictatorship and they've declared war on everybody.



I wish beer came out of the tap.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted! sorry but i wish it as well! great one!!

I wish Xamonas wish would come true!

[Riesa]

Granted, now there is no more gatorade in this whole wide world.

I wish beer grew on trees.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! But on bushes too. (Couldn't face ruining that wish, sorry!)



I wish that I had one of Riesa's trees in a pot in my living room.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but then...

i wish i was a farmer!

[Riesa]

Granted! you farm cotton and everyone is so busy drinking they don't care about clothes anymore...

I wish I was in the Bahamas.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Hoped you can hold your breath though, because you are on the famous Bimmi Road!

I wish I was in Dixie!

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! But you're in a Yankee uniform and it's 1862


I wish I had a penny for every time I've wished I had a penny for every time I did something.

[Riesa]

Granted, you are drowning in your own wealth.

I wish noone would ever find a good enough reason to seek the other life.

[Pendragon]

Riesa, I truly wish I could grant that....

I wish I could grant wishes for real sometimes...

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted, but unfortunately, I can't!



I wish I was on holiday tomorrow.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but that is when your gramma's birth day is, and you alone have to organize an extended family reunion!

I wish I had relatives that could make it to a family reunion.

[rachel]

granted. but they are all like cousin Eddy and bring dogs like Snot and you wish you had no relatives.

I wish that no one was alone and sad.

[Scheherazade]

Granted but then no one will be on the Forum... ever!

I wish people didn't pretend to be something that they are not.

[Riesa]

Granted, but the Amazon and the Dastardly just wouldn't be as entertaining.

I wish Everyone a Happy St. Patricks DAy.


http://img.123greetings.com/eventsnew/emar_patrick_friend/8812-008-06-1047.gif

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted, but we all have too much green beer and puke green puke on your carpet.



I wish I knew why the US population feel the need to pollute honest beer with 'green' - it never happens in Ireland! - Americans have no sense of decency.

[Riesa]

:p ........................double post

[Riesa]

:p


Where I live, they dye the river green too.

Your wish is granted, umm, in order to gain a sense of decency, we all move to England to live in your neighborhood.

I wish I had a magic carpet.

[Jay]

Granted, it's half eaten by mice though.

I wish I could stop time at will :p

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but your will is on a tight schedule.

I wish I didn't work with any villains.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Now you're the only villain and every superhero on the planet is dedicated to stopping YOU.


I wish I was a real superhero.

[rachel]

YOU ARE.


I wish babies could change their own nappies.

[Virgil]

Granted, but the Amazon and the Dastardly just wouldn't be as entertaining.

I wish Everyone a Happy St. Patricks DAy.


http://img.123greetings.com/eventsnew/emar_patrick_friend/8812-008-06-1047.gif
I'm not Irish but I love St. Patrick's Day. A little later this evening I will have a shot to celebrate.

http://www.radiomarconi.com/marconi/jameson.jpg

[Virgil]

Granted, but they toss the contents all across the room.


I wish I had plans to go out this St Pactrick's Day.

[kilted exile]

Granted, but your sick and cant go there.

**OFF TOPIC** A story about St. Paddy's day last year: I was celebrating in the typical way (i.e enjoying a pint or two of green beer - Ok it was more than a one or two)anyway I'll cut to the funny part, we left the bar at closing time still with a couple of drinks in hand and proceeded to walk/skip whilst singing "Danny Boy" home. We passed a driveway which had a bunch of skids full of roofing shingles, and for some reason (dont know the exact reason, but I am sure it must have been a good one) We decided that we needed some. So one of my "acquaintances" lifted up a pack and off we went with him carrying them on his shoulder. It was about this time that we noticed a strange siren type noise & some blue flashing lights beside us. Fortunately the nice police type person was reasonably young, and saw the funny side of things. He let us just put the shingles back and we only got a fine for having open containers in a public place as opposed to getting charged with petty theft.

I wish I was less busy

[Virgil]

Granted, now you don't have a job.

Good story Kilt. My friends and I had a tradition of going to a particular Irish pub on St.P's Day where they would give out corned beef on rye sandwiches free. It was the best corned beef I ever had. And toward the end of the night we would have a shot of Jameson to top it off.

I wish I had a corned beef sandwich right now.

[Riesa]

Granted, but it's one you find underneath the back seat of your car and it's been there since last St. Patrick's day.

I wish for sunny weather this weekend, so I can get out on the lake.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! But the sunny weather is in Poland, it's pissing it down where you are.


I wish I could iron quickly.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted, but you have to do the ironing with the clothes on.


I wish for a new bicycle helmet.

[rachel]

hahahaha, that is very descriptive of rain. extremely poetic. :lol: :lol: :lol:

you actually are ironing , how adorable. :nod:
granted but in your haste you burn a tiny hole in everything you own. :bawling:
(sorry I'll buy you new stuff)

I wish for every person to have one( non violent,no harmful to others)dream come true.

[kilted exile]

Granted, but the world's messed up and people only wish for pain and suffering.

I wish the books I ordered would arrive

[samercury]

Granted but they're ripped to pieces when you get them

I wish tomorrow wasn't Saturday.

[kilted exile]

Granted but they're ripped to pieces when you get them

I wish tomorrow wasn't Saturday.

Wow. I dont know which of those things would annoy me more.

Granted tomorrow is Sunday.

I wish it was constantly Saturday

[Scheherazade]

Granted but now you have a job working only on Saturdays!

I wish I didn't have this cold.

[samercury]

Granted but..now you have a fever

I wish they would stop talking so much

[Virgil]

Granted, but now they're screaming at each other.

I wish the dog wasn't staring at me.

[Ryduce]

Granted,but now a 800 lb kodiak bear is.That can't be safe






I wish I wasn't poor.

[Virgil]

granted, but beng rich leads to divorce and stress.


I wish I wasn't hungry, even though I've had a complete dinner.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you have to stuff your face long after you are full!
I wish I had way more computer experience.

[rachel]

granted but your teacher is eighty seven and thinks you are her dear husband Winston who passed away twenty years ago and she won't let you leave her house.


I wish I knew Russian like tomorrow.

[AimusSage]

Granted, but now it is the only language you speak, and nobody understands you, since the russians no longer speak russian.

I wish I knew what I'm waiting for.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, your waiting to eat cheese!

I wish i could have celabrated St' Patrick's with all you out there!!!

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. You awake to find yourself covered in Unnamable's green vomit. Goooood morning!!


I wish for the perfect paper airplane.

[Pendragon]

Granted! It crashes in the perfect wind sheer....

I wish for a signed, first-edition of Conan Doyle's first Holmes Book, not story, but actually the first book, published before his death.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! The dog chews it though.


I wish England had a chance to win the 6 nations today.

[Pendragon]

Granted! A slim one.

I wish that one medicine they put me on hadn't made me gain so much weight that I can't get rid of now!!

[rachel]

granted,
but now the weight goes on the doctor who prescribed it and he has hired a hit man to do away with you.(he's a teeny bit ticked)

I wish one could make it any season one wanted just by wishing, then in winter I could enjoy the snow but make it summer at night for those who have no home to go to.

[Virgil]

Oh man, that is some wish. I want that wish. I'll just grant it.


I wish I didn't need to wear glasses.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Now you need to wear eye patches--your empty sockets creep people out.


I wish for earplugs.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Eh? What?

I wish for the end of arguments on lost causes, I.E., ones that no one is going to compromise on anyway....

[Virgil]

...like the ones in the religion threads?


I wish for a nice afternoon nap.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Welcome to the year 2026, Rip Van Winkle!!


I wish I could crush soda cans on my forehead.

[rachel]

granted, but now the government conscripts you to work for free crushing tin cans for use in military recycling projects.


I wish that I could fly, I would soar in the clouds and look at the world beneath me in silence and when I saw someone in trouble I could swoop down and rescue them.

[Virgil]

Granted, but everyone can now look up your skirt while flying.

I wish that I didn't have this cramp in my thigh.

[rachel]

VIRGIL!!!!(and I am wearing jeans thankyou very much, I am NOT that slender witted!)

granted no cramp in your poor thigh but now both your eyes are twitching and your nose is running and you have no tissue.

I wish a certain someone would just give up the quest and come home.

[Virgil]

Granted, but the hobbit isn't all that pleasant to be around without his precious ring.


I wish my wife didn't cook chicken for dinner.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Enjoy your Spam waffles. Forever.


I wish for tacos.

[chmpman]

Granted, but Satan gives them to you and they make you ill, starting a terrible chain of reactions. (perhaps you've heard the Beck song "Satan gave me a taco"?)

I wish I wasn't such a pretentious ***.

[Virgil]

Granted, now you are an arrogant S-O-B like me. [According to more than one on this lit net. :D ]


I wish I had a guest come over and turn this into an interestng Saturday night.

[jackyyyy]

Granted, Dracula has been dispatched, with you in about 10 minutes with your pizza.

I wish a movie.. chocolate and jelly beans..

[Virgil]

Granted, Dracula has been dispatched, with you in about 10 minutes with your pizza.
..
:lol: Very good.

Granted but your date stands you up and the theater gets closed down by the police for serving alcholol.


I wish there was something good on TV this evening.

[jackyyyy]

Granted, a picture of yours trully will be sitting on top of the tv.

I wish to know the name of a really good movie...

[chmpman]

I wish there was something good on TV this evening.

I take it you're not a college basketball fan? Absurd.

Granted, but no video store near you carries it.

I wish weekends were made up of three days.

[samercury]

Granted but there are now seven weekdays X_x

I wish tomorrow wasn't the day before Monday

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, your time for Sunday has come and gone, along with all its preparations for Monday.

I wish I had enjoyed more of my time when I was younger, instead of pushing aside certain things always for a future time without concerns.

[Virgil]

I take it you're not a college basketball fan? Absurd.

No. There's just too much sports. Baseball and football are enough.

Granted. But not you don't enjoy your old age.


I wish I could speak latin fluently.

[chmpman]

Granted, but considering it's a dead language no one understands you.

I wish I didn't have so much homework all the time.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you have to learn English - a suddenly forgotten common tongue - by asking questions in Latin, to those that only know English.

I wish I could bring my youth into old age.

[samercury]

Granted but your old age was your youth

I wish I didn't have any glue on me...

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you needed it to pick up a key with your finger tip, to break out of a dungeon.

I wish I could immediately type faster.

[chmpman]

Granted, but you frustrate those slower than yourself with quick posts. Grrr.... (not so intimidating)

I wish Montana didn't lose to BC.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but now it is part of BC

I wish I was not still working for a boss.

[samercury]

Granted but...now you're not working.

I wish I could be braver.

[Virgil]

Too slow. Mililalil - How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? I'm 44 if you haven't seen it on the age thread.

[chmpman]

Granted, but the rapid increase in temp. causes disasterous repercussions in the global climate.

I wish Bucknell would win the NCAA championship.

[samercury]

Granted but this happens when you're no longer alive

I wish I could other people's minds.

[Virgil]

Granted, but now you can't make up your mind, ever.


I wish I could grab a snack and not put in any calories.

[samercury]

Granted but the snack is tasteless.

I wish no one ever got sick.

[rachel]

granted but now noone has anything to whine about physically so spend our time gossiping about one another.

I wish all Virgil's dreams would come true.

[Virgil]

Granted. But then his arrogance will be just too much for anyone to bare.

I wish Rachel will get well soon.

[samercury]

Granted...but now everyone else is sick

I wish people actually meant what they said.

[Pendragon]

...like the ones in the religion threads?


I wish for a nice afternoon nap.
EXACTLY!

Sam wishes people meant what they said.


I won't grant that one, dear, trust me, there are time you wouldn't!


I wish that health benefits meant exactly that, that you would benefit from good health!

[Riesa]

Granted, dear Pen...You are on a long vacation in Harbour Island, Bahamas, driving around in a 'Sunshine' golf cart, holding a papaya-mango smoothie, absorbing the misty-tropical air, Elle Macpherson has just blown you a kiss, and you are feeling brand new, except...for the shell in your sandal that is bothering you...but you can just reach down and toss it away.

I wish everyone felt like listening to 'my' music right now.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but that's because, after the worldwide hearing loss, people would give anything to hear anything!

I wish I had gone to bed an hour ago!

[Pendragon]

Granted! We must do something about you posting while walking in your sleep!

I wish I had yesterday back to do over again and hopefully do a better job this time...

[jackyyyy]

Granted. We can also return the previous week in editable form so you may add what you didn't disclose to us regarding your clandestine dealings at the library during same episode.

I wish my window could open itself on good days only.

[Riesa]

Granted, but you have a self-opening window and everyone in the world crowds into your house to see such a phenomenon.

I wish I didn't have to go grocery shopping today.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! But then it already was. You don't have to go, you can go without food instead.


I wish daffodils came in blue.

[jackyyyy]

Granted, you are permitted to go yesterday, eat those groceries the day before, and now grateful to recollect the budget you have not yet spent.

I wish the Sun would stay where I put it...

[jackyyyy]

Granted. All daffodils will now arrive in blue packaging.

I still wish the sun would stay where I put it.. and maybe the moon could join it for a dance.

[Riesa]

Granted but the stars all decide to shoot at the exact same moment and you're so entranced by the moon and sun dancing that you miss it.

I wish I could judge a book by it's cover.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted. But only if it's written by John Grisham, which already works.


I wish I hadn't just spilt coffee on my keyboard, meaning I have to use this old cronky one till it dries out. :bawling:

[Riesa]

cronky? lol

Granted but now you just spilled maple syrup all over your head instead.

I wish I could understand relativity.

[jackyyyy]

Granted, but you realize a dry keyboard is less fun to splash words.

I wish I had not left my bucket and spade at the seaside.

[jackyyyy]

Granted, you can now understand it, relatively speaking.

I wish I had not left my bucket and spade, and grandmother at the seaside.

[rachel]

what? what were you thinking? reminds me of my friend Terry also a mad Englishman that got tired of his granny nagging him. He hoisted her up to a hook on the inside of the pantry door and there she was still hanging kicking and threatening to kill him when her son and his wife came home an hour later.


granted but grannie makes friends with an angry she bear and gives her your address...

[jackyyyy]

Mad to not close the pantry door, eh.. or leave it open and her dangling, so she could look but not touch the perogies.

[rachel]

yes both pretty much sum up Terry's state of mind. Grannie Hopkins only weighed about eighty seven pounds, stone I don't know.. but she would always put her little hands into fists and tell him she was going to give him'shots'. she was a cantankerous little thing. so although I was horrified at what he did I don't remember telling him he should ask forgiveness. :blush:

[rachel]

Granted. But only if it's written by John Grisham, which already works.


I wish I hadn't just spilt coffee on my keyboard, meaning I have to use this old cronky one till it dries out. :bawling:

you drink coffee?

you have extra keyboards just lying about underneath all your ironing?
wow :banana:

I need the courage to go to a leper colony and help out, I wish I had that courage right now.

[Virgil]

Granted, you have the courage but now there aqre no more lepers in the world.


I wish I didn't have to wait for food to cook; it could just be ready instantaneously.

[AimusSage]

Granted, but the food tastes incredibly foul, and their isn't anything else to eat

I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.

[rachel]

tough darts, you are going.

okay okay, granted but when you play hookey it just so happens your principal drops by to see how you are doing and catches you online having fun....

I wish I could send the Virgster some ready made Italian meals. I always seem to have some handy

[Virgil]

Granted, but the "Virgster" prefers his mother's real Italian cooking. [Only kidding. My wife is making some sausage, onions, and peppers and should be readfy any minute.]

I wish my mouth wasn't salivating right now.

[jackyyyy]

Granted, here is a concrete mixer.

I wish I knew where I kicked off my shoe last night, and why the person in the street below is shouting up at my window.

[Scheherazade]

Granted but you realise that he is thanking you for the lovely pair of shoes you gave him last night!

I wish I could be home right now

*points in the sky and says 'Scher... hooommeee*

[Virgil]

Granted but you left your key where you are now and can't get in the house.


I wish I wasn't so drowsy on a Sunday afternoon.

[samercury]

Granted but now you're drowsy every other day.

[Riesa]

Granted! Whatever your deepest desire is...it's all yours sweet baby.

I wish I didn't eat all of that spaghetti just now.

[AimusSage]

Granted, now you are really hungry

I wish I didn't bite of a part of my tongue on saterday during the soccermatch when the guy hit me in the face.

[Virgil]

Granted, now you're hungry again.


I wish Riesa wouldn't catch me with number of posts.

[Riesa]

Granted, see ya later, been nice knowin' ya.

I wish my Pug was a magic wish granting dog.

[rachel]

granted but then all our computers will be wet from her tears and noone will love you anymore for being a big selfish baby.


I wish I was more intelligent...okay far more more more more intelligent. ...sigh.

[Riesa]

Granted, now there is no room left for compassion in you. :bawling:

I wish I had some chickens.

[Virgil]

Granted, but they don't lay any eggs and they scare your pug and the roosters wake you up far too early. [Are you serious? Don't you have enough animals?]

I wish I had a ranch where I could have lots of animals. [This is my wife's personal wish.]

[Riesa]

Granted, but the only kind of animals you can have are vultures.
(I just want the eggs)

I wish it would rain the whole week long.

[Virgil]

Granted, but it floods your house and you need to climb on the roof to be evacuated by a helicopter.


I wish my muscles don't get sore from excercise.

[AimusSage]

Granted, but the resulting flood causes you to stand in 30 cm of water.

I wish the sun would shine all week long. :p

[samercury]

Granted but you're asleep the entire time.

I wish I could face my fears.

[rachel]

granted but then you overcome them all and have to spend the rest of your life rescuing everyone else from theirs.


I wish time would stand still for one day and everyone on the forum would be whisked away by angels to an appointed place for a day long picnic and talk fest.(well I will hide behind a tree and watch and listen, but it would still be heavenly)

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. The tree mysteriously falls victim to a Razor Arrow, and you're forced to join the rest of us.


I wish engineers weren't so underrated.

[rachel]

really I didn't know they were, not here in Canada anyway. hullo M'Lord what a joy to be on the same time as you.

granted but then they become so valued that they have no life of their own but are owned by the company they work for.

I wish that we could still ride horses instead of drive on a day to day basis.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Shovels are now standard-issue travel equipment.


I wish for a fedora, flight jacket, and bullwhip. (Bonus points for anyone who can figure out why)

[jackyyyy]

Granted, your rocket is ready on the launchpad.

I wish I knew what time it isn't

[rachel]

Granted. Shovels are now standard-issue travel equipment.


I wish for a fedora, flight jacket, and bullwhip. (Bonus points for anyone who can figure out why)


Raiders of the lost ark M'Lord and I will send you all of the above tied in a black bow.

and Jackyyy your wish is granted and now you are always late for work ,social events and you have to retire and go into hiding because everyone is chagrined big time with you :D

[Virgil]

Granted. The tree mysteriously falls victim to a Razor Arrow, and you're forced to join the rest of us.


I wish engineers weren't so underrated.
What? Who says were underrated?

[chmpman]

Hey, you both forgot wishes.

I wish hangovers didn't exist.

[Riesa]

granted! but now there is a new demon called a hangunder, and it's four times as bad as any tequila hangover.

I wish kids weren't such picky eaters.

[Virgil]

Granted, now you have a headache all the time.

I wish Rachel forgives me.

[chmpman]

Granted, but she also forgets you.

I wish I could come up with wishes quicker so no one posts ahead of me.

[Riesa]

Granted, but you're so greedy, all you can think of is what you want but don't have, and you keep forgetting to ruin everyone else's wishes in your haste to post your new wish.

I wish I could sleep through just one night without anyone waking me up.

[rachel]

granted darling, I will get up with the kids(i will be the one with a bag over my head)

And dearest V i r g i l (get that right this time) there is nothing to forgive I was funnin both of you. both what a trio of sensitive people we are.

I wish I DID NOT BLUSH (swine blushing)

[Riesa]

Granted, but then you'd have no reason to quote Clouseau, and the world would miss such a pretty sight as your blushes.

I wish I wouldn't act like a fifth grader sometimes, and make people blush.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but you lose your sence of humer and turn 92 years old!!!!

I wish i wouldn't get upset quickly.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! Now you get upset very slowly, but it builds and builds into an uncontrollable rage and you walk around swearing at everyone and smashing furniture until they come and take you away.


I wish I could be a tree for a day.

[hera-on-earth]

granted, but u wud hav to make ur own food!

i wish i cud fly away to a place where no one knew me.

[Riesa]

Granted, you lose your way flying to Timbuktu, and end up in the desert with a broken wing.

I wish I could fly.

[hera-on-earth]

granted, but the wax wud melt with which ur wings were attached.

i wish i could become beautiful.

[Pendragon]

Granted! You can finally see yourself as others do!

I wish my memory didn't pull tricks with me....

[rachel]

granted( but do remember to get to the childhood party today dear Pen) but then life would b o r i n g

I wish I could live underwater and meet Morgan le Fay and catch up on all the news since Camelot.

[Riesa]

Granted, but she's in a funk and doesn't feel like telling you anything.

I wish I knew how to scuba dive.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. But you've moved to Death Valley.


I wish for a pet boa constrictor (do try to be creative with this one, hmm?).

[rachel]

granted but because you feed her regular food yet she still has the hunting instinct she is forever bringing you back live girls who kick and scream and tell you that is the cheesiest way to a date they have ever seen.


I wish all the world loved one another.

[kilted exile]

Granted, but its because we've just nuked the people who dont love us.


I wish I had paid more attention when I was learning about hydraulics.

[Virgil]

Granted, but now you get all wet evertime you adjust the water pressure.

I wish I could go to a concert actually conducted by Beethoven, his 5th symphony.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted, but you have to drive to Vienna to hear it--the deaf idiot can't hear you honking your horn, and you accidentally run him over. Nice going, you've royally screwed history.


I wish for a bag of Cheetos.

[rachel]

granted but now your thighs swell and you are still at the party.(here take this blanket until you are better, everyone is sleeping anyway)

I wish that I could have met John Barrie and spent just one day with him.

[tn2743]

granted, but then you have to spend the next day with Tony Blaire

I wish I can be somewhere 300 miles from here...

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! 300 miles straight up - watch out for gravity, it's a killer!


I wish I could play guitar like Steve Vai.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you cannot come up with different ideas than his!

I wish I knew all the friends of those I want to get to know.

[Virgil]

granted, but they don't return your friendship.


I wish I could visit ancient Rome in a time machine.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted. But it takes 10 years to set up and get using.

I wish I could invent a new alphabet that makes better sense than those we use, and see it universally accepted.

[tn2743]

Granted, but you'd have to wait another thousand years until someone rewrite Shakespeare's satisfyingly.

I wish I can have the power to make one person completely happy.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Everyone else hates your guts.


I wish for a new chess set.

[Pendragon]

Granted! One new chess set. Unfortunatedly, the boars have been outlawed under penalty of death!


I wish my electric lead guitar playing didn't sounding like skining a live cat!

[Pensive]

Granted, But then it would play like barking dogs.

I wish that I will get a flower today.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted, it's a very bedraggled thistle.


I wish the queen would come out onto the balcony with her dress tucked into her knickers.

[white camellia]

Granted, but you fell over and broke your glass...

I wish I could have my Black-Native American Chinese little ones with my husband in a few years.

[Riesa]

Granted, but all six of them come at the same time.

I wish I had a polo-pony.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but it's made of paper.

I wish it was the 7th of April!

[Riesa]

Granted, (why) but it's the shortest day of the year, and it's only 3 seconds long.

I wish I had an Ostrich that lay diamond eggs.

[white camellia]

Granted, but they are too heavy to remove, and too hard to dig...

I wish I could die before my husband ...

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted - but isn't tomorrow a little soon?



I wish I knew what "Help of clever door" meant.

[white camellia]

Granted, but does that make you cleverer???

I wish I could never sleep for a second and keep healthy. ;)

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you look as old as you feel healthy.

I wish I could have escaped getting into a picture taken at work (I avoided it for ten years).

[RobinHood3000]

Granted, but it's because you were arrested.


I wish I was a wizard.

[AimusSage]

granted, but you can no longer use bow and arrows, and the wizardy you perform has a tendency to backfire

I wish I could jump 60 feet high.

[rachel]

granted but you never ever make it back down from the Giant's land and have to listen to him saying 'fee fi fo fum" until you could scream.


I wish it was always"and they lived happily ever after".

[chmpman]

Granted, but you jump into a flock of geese and they become agitated, wrecking havoc on you and your family.

Granted, it happens in every story but not in real life. I would hate that.

I wish I could voice my opinions in class a lot better.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted, but you are completely incapable of coming up with anything worth enunciating so perfectly in the first place.

I wish I could remember my dreams clearly.




I wish I knew what "Help of clever door" meant.


Granted, but does that make you cleverer???

White Camelia,

It was the google translator's version of the Chinese characters under your name. How would you translate it? If you don't mind me asking.

[chmpman]

Granted, you remember them and then use Freudian psycoanalysis to discover you have an Oedipus complex.

I wish I could write something worthy of getting published.

[Pendragon]

Granted! I cannot guarantee anyone will actually READ it, of course.


I wish my own published works were all gathered in a book for publication...

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but it must be your only best-seller if it's all between two covers!

I wish I had never wasted an oppurtunity to add well-being to anyone.

[Pendragon]

Granted, and too good to ruin.

I wish I really knew what to do right about now...

[white camellia]

Granted, and then you find you are wasting your time.

I wish I could correspond with a beautiful ghost.



White Camelia,

It was the google translator's version of the Chinese characters under your name. How would you translate it? If you don't mind me asking.

Xamonas Chegwe, I almost blush at your question-I'm always deeply stirred by Taoism. (Taoism, Confucianism and Buddhism are regarded as the three intellectual pillars of traditional Chinese culture. Taoism, which emphasizes doing nothing--non-action--and letting things take their own course, has been especially influential in the history of Chinese culture and thought. Sima Tan, father of the Western Han Dynasty--206B.C.-A.D.24--historian Sima Qian, said, "Taoism helps one to concentrate the mind, act unobtrusively and care for all things on earth. As a way to self-cultivation, it follows the nature of Yin and Yang--the ultimate positive and negative, and male and female essences in Nature--takes up the strong points of Confucianism and Mohism, absorbs the essentials of Logicianism and Legalism, adapts to the changes of the times, follows the nature of everything and can be used everywhere. It is easy to practice, as its precepts are simple, and it can help people accomplish much with little effort." Taoism embodies knowledge of Nature, social development, human relationships and other rich and subtle wisdom of the ancient Chinese people. Tao literally means "the way." It includes the way of Nature, the way of all things on earth, the way of social changes, the way of running a country, the way of self-cultivation and managing a family, even the way of "living a long life with good eyes and ears," which encapsulates the ideal of the ancestors of the Chinese people as regards their approach to life. The ancient Chinese medical and health-preservation techniques almost all drew their inspiration from Taoism, and works appeared expounding on ways of self-cultivation and long life based on Lao Zi's teachings. Eventually, Taoism was combined with religion, and Lao Zi was elevated to the status of an immortal. Unlike Confucianism and Buddhism, the hallmark of the Taoist school of philosophy is its eclecticism; its adherents have included many learned thinkers, magicians, doctors, pharmacists and alchemists. And, as an indigenous way of thought, Taoism is uniquely Chinese in its contents and forms. Many stories from the treasure trove of Taoist lore have pure and fresh artistic concepts, focusing on the ideas of "governing by doing nothing" and "letting things take their own course." --From the Introduction of "A Taoist Miscellany", Yuan Guang, Cheng Yu, Foreign Languages Press, Beijing, 1999)

The Chinese characters under my Name are actually some words excerpted from a Taoist, Lao Zi's 5,000-word work Dao De Jing (Tao Te Ching), or 'Classic of the Way and Virtue'. I take this part as some essence of his work, and the way to cultivate oneself constantly to become an immortal. Here is a translation by James Legge, though I don't consider it as the accurate one:
(that I quoted is the ending words in Chapter I, but I give you Legge's translation of the chapter in order to make it clearer)

Ch. 1.
1. The Tao that can be trodden is not the enduring and
unchanging Tao. The name that can be named is not the
enduring and unchanging name.
2. (Conceived of as) having no name, it is the Originator
of heaven and earth; (conceived of as) having a name, it is
the Mother of all things.
3. Always without desire we must be found, if its deep mystery we would sound; But if desire always within us be, its outer fringe is all that we shall see.
4. Under these two aspects, it is really the same; but as development takes place, it receives the different names. Together we call them the Mystery. Where the Mystery is the deepest is the gate of all that is subtle and wonderful.
(The red parts are what I find deficient in a precise explanation. And the overstriking part is Legge's translation of those characters under my Name.)


玄1 之 又2 玄3, 众4 妙5 之6 门7

1 "Yin" 阴 (the ultimate negative, the female essence), the Non-action, the Nothingness as one inhales to perceive the exquisite and ingenious
2 And
3 "Yang" 阳 (the ultimate positive, the male essence), the Action, the Existence as one exhales to perceive the crucial and unusual
4 Many, various
5 The occult unnamable and powerful
6 Of
7 "Door" (literally, metaphorically) through which the Tao (the way to Wisdom and Immortality) is mastered.

The transformation of the first "玄" and the second "玄" (the constant transformation of the two aspects, "Yin" and "Yang"): An Action originates from the extreme of Non-action, as the Nothingness gives birth to the Existence. Then by returning to the Non-action from the extreme of Action, the Existence returns to the Nothingness.

The result of such process: Within such a breathing moment, Heaven and Earth give birth to everything; Within such a breathing moment, a Man obtains his elixir (Tao, the Way).

[tn2743]

Granted, but youre a ghost too!

I wish I can be bothered to reach over and turn that heater down....

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! But as soon as you do, the temperature drops and you need to turn it up again.

I wish my dinner was already made, I'm starving!



White Camelia,

Thanks for the explanation. It was a lot more than I expected, but very interesting.

[Riesa]

Granted, here is an open can of kitty-livers.

I wish the sunny weather would return.

[myself]

granted but it will rain as well

i wish i could pass without exams

[chef]

granted you will take exams for the rest of your life
i wish summer brake was here!!!!!!!111

[classicsgirl]

Granted, but the weather stays c9old for the whole break

I wish i was on a tropical island drinking cocktails

[RobinHood3000]

Granted, but liquified rooster features generally aren't that appetizing.


I wish to dance on Hitler's grave.

[chmpman]

Granted, but afterwards a group of fairies in boots come and beat you up.

I wish to get a good summer internship.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you do not have it where you thought you would have it - no, where you get it is where summer's first day is also the last ever.

I wish I could hire someone to buy my groceries while I am busy with other things.

[Virgil]

Granted, but he charges double thanwhat they cost and he keeps most of it for himself.


I wish this evening wasn't so quiet.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but after getting that wonderful sleepy feeling, you hear your neighbors talking nice and loud for hours. [GOD forbid that!]

I wish I could make more creative wishes.

[tn2743]

Granted, but it won't be granted

I wish the bakery next door opens at 4AM...

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but when you see me opening the doors to the public, you wish you had granted all my wishes with a little human compassion.

I wish I could see the look on Nguyenngoctue's face when I put that open sign up at his beloved bakery!

[samercury]

Granted but a few seconds later, the sign falls on you *made of metal*

I wish I could sing in the middle of the night without disturbing anyone.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you get no sleep, and the next day others, influenced in their dreams by you, keep you up with singing of their own.

I just wish I had a place to use my voice as I know I could if I had a place with thick enough walls to practice in. :brow:

[tn2743]

Granted, it's prison, so you'll have plenty of time for practise too! :)

I wish everyone a good day.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, I'll take advantage of just such a day and bust out of your dungeon of words.

I wish I had a bakery so near to my place!

[tn2743]

Granted, but it doesn't open from 4AM either (which for me is a very bad thing).

I wish I didn't have so much work.

[AimusSage]

Granted, you are now a poor man without a job

I wish the world would rotate the other way around.

[ElizabethSewall]

Granted but it makes you sick and nauseous all the time.

I wish I could fly.

[AimusSage]

Granted, you turn into a mosquito, and start harassing people.

I wish I could capture light in a bottle.

[Riesa]

Granted, here is a light-bulb.

I wish I wasn't bored silly.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Now you're bored stupid.


I wish Statistics was easier to understand.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! Well actually there is a binomial distribution curve which describes the probability of your wish being granted - You'll need to throw a 3 sided coin 1,000,000 times to gain an approximation of the outcome.


I wish I'd found an Italo Calvino that I hadn't read in my trall through the second hand bookshops today.

[Riesa]

Granted, but every time you start to get into the story, you hit a blank page, or the story becomes a completely different tale, by a different novelist all together.

I wish I felt zippy.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! But it's the character Zippy, from the children's TV show Rainbow, and he's very grateful! :brow:

http://www.johnrostron.co.uk/fun/inventions/images/zippy.jpg


I wish I hadn't run out of chocolate.

[samercury]

:lol:
Granted...but...you never run out of chocolate and soon come to dislike it

I wish that little girl would stop poking everyone with her pencil ;_;

[Virgil]

Granted, now she uses a knife.


I wish Brandi wouldn't breath on me with her doggy breath.

[Anon22]

Granted, she's now a wolf.

I wish I had orange juice to drink

[Pendragon]

Granted! Are you familiar with TANG, because that's what you must drink...


I wish that living in dreamland was possible...

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted (in a dream!)! Court adjourned!

I wish my picture hadn't been taken at work today!

[AimusSage]

Granted, it didn't get taken because you overslept, and subsequently got fired.

I wish I had a better singing voice.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! You are now a thrush.


I wish it was warmer outside.

[Pendragon]

Granted! You, however, must stay inside, and it's somewhere between bloody cold and ice.

I wish me cockney accent were better, guv, blimey.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Granted! Now you sound exactly like Dick Van Dyke - Mary Poppings! ;)


I wish my guitar would get repaired quickly - my fingers are getting bored.

[woeful painter]

Granted! But then you're required to perform with it for a 5 day non-stop tour! Now you fingers aren't bored...they're gravely sore! :D

I wish I was in France at this very moment to see a special someone! :blush:

[white camellia]

Granted, and soon you found your 'special someone' forgot who you are ...

I wish I could pass TEM 8 Grade ... (TEM, test for english majors)

[Virgil]

Granted. You passed. Now you're forever stuck with posting on lit net.

I wish I could see longer.

[Riesa]

hmm? Granted! Now you can see longer, but hear shorter?

I wish I lived in a castle in Scotland.

[AimusSage]

Granted, the caste is old, very moist and cold.

I wish my cat wasn't such a grumpy ol' garfield.

[Riesa]

Granted, He's now a grumpy ol' lion.

I wish I'd stop it.

[Virgil]

Well, since you don't say stop what, I'll just have to assume your heartbeat. OK, it's stopped. :lol:


I wish I didn't have to pull all sorts of stuff together to do my annual taxes.

[Riesa]

Granted, (ick) You now have no income.

I wish I could be all knowing.

[Virgil]

Aren't you already? I thought all mothers were all knowing.

I wish for a million dollars so I can startle whoever in the IRS is going to review my tax forms.