Make A Wish

[Taliesin]

Granted.
But all of them turn out wrong.

We wish that we could sleep like a normal person.

[Pendragon]

Granted! But you snore like an abnormal person....

I wish I could speak Chinese.

[Virgil]

Granted, but you will be forced to live in Japan.

I wish I could get tickets to any concert I want.

[rachel]

granted but you would have to do dishes every evening after work at the home of the guy who buys them for you and he is best friends with your boss


I wish that i was an expert mountain climber

[kilted exile]

Granted but you can never leave Saskatchewan

I wish I had musical ability (I have this guitar I have owned for two years now, but no matter how hard I practice the dam thing never sounds right)

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Now you're an expert kazoo player. You displace mimes as the most annoying carbon-based lifeform, and are assassinated by a jealous entertainer with a silenced pistol.

I wish for a working mouse pad.

[Riesa]

Granted, but it has a picture of Starrwriter blowing you a kiss on it.

I wish for infinite wisdom and compassion.

[chef]

I wish that i can see you and be in your arms for one last time!

[emily655321]

I'll do Riesa's, since it would be too cruel to mess with chef's wish.

Riesa~ Granted, but then you would always have sympathy for everyone, and never be able to think objectively and logically.

I wish what I feel would better align with what I think.

[Riesa]

Thanks, Emily. :D

Granted, but then you have to read everything backwards and upside down.

I wish that I had natural hot springs in my backyard.

[rachel]

granted but then you would always find crawly things and guys that fell in from being drunk and wandering into your back yard enoying the springs with you!


I wish that guys that know perfectly well I blush a lot would JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted, but you find youself painfully alone when separated from all of those men who are secretly in love with you.


I wish that an asteroid would hit in my front yard.

[emily655321]

Granted, but then you have to read everything backwards and upside down.:lol: You know far too well what I'm like!

Granted, but it would land on top of you and you wouldn't survive to enjoy the publicity.

I wish my hair would stop shedding and then clogging up the vacuum cleaner.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. You go bald.


I wish that pencils never broke.

[emily655321]

Granted. You go bald.
:lol:

Granted, but they always have too much wood on one side of the lead, so that they go "skriiiiitch" against the paper and don't draw a solid line.

I wish I had a magic nut bucket, full of shelled almonds and walnuts and hazelnuts and pecans, that never went empty. They're too expensive at the store.

[chmpman]

Granted, but then you get attacked by a pack of squirrels and chipmunks who gang up on you to steal the bucket.

I wish I could watch a pack of squirrels steal a person's magic bucket.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. After eating emily alive, the rodents begin hunting for YOUR nuts.


I wish my girlfriend were here.

[Whifflingpin]

Granted, and she knows all about you.

I wish it were spring

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. You are tracked down and killed by bears who are angry at having to cut short their hibernation.


I wish I had a pair of Aviator sunspecs.

[chmpman]

Granted, but then nobody, even your girlfriend, will talk to you because they feel too self-conscious while staring into the mirror-like specs (because, of course, if you have Aviator specs you must wear them all the time).

I wish I could teleport myself to where ever I need to go.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Unfortunately, your clothes don't follow you.


I wish for a DeLorean DMC-12.

[rachel]

you do?
(i just called for a rolls to pick up your girlfriend and then pick up you for a wonderful night out.(

granted- a 1981 is on it's way., but it has one wheel that has a nervous disorder. It goes flat whenever it is upset.

I wish that I had more time to practise dance for when I audition in the fall for a rock musical.

[RobinHood3000]

(Sounds like fun--you're too sweet!!)

Granted. You get so much time, it never comes.


I wish that the energy crisis was solved.

[Ryduce]

Granted,but everything in the near future runs off a liquified gold substance called gethreum,which sadly,you can't afford.




I wish my english class didn't suck so bad.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Now it blows.


I wish that books had self-turning pages.

[IrishCanadian]

Me too! --I mean Granted! But then the pages would turn at a speed to force the dry ink off the page thereby make books obsolete.
I wish I still had my dad's cooking with me at school (i just got back from a nice and tasty stay at home).

[Riesa]

Granted, but then he'd live with you and you'd have to share your toothbrush with him every night.

I wish I had a red barn.

[Virgil]

Granted, but then the doors wouldn't lock and the horses would find a way to get out.

I wish I wasn't so opinionated.

[Riesa]

:lol:
Granted, but then you'd be a pot of spaghetti, flavoured with nutmeg.

I wish I was more opinionated.

[Virgil]

:lol:
Granted, but then you'd be a pot of spaghetti, flavoured with nutmeg.

I wish I was more opinionated.
Yes, I wish you were too.

Granted, but then you would be considered crass and arrogant.

I wish I didn't have so much fun on lit net.

[Riesa]

:bawling: aww, can't you just like me as I am?


Granted, but then you'd only have fun on the McDonald's playground, and you know how they'd react to a 44 year old man up there.

I wish my diction was unflawed.

[Virgil]

:bawling: aww, can't you just like me as I am?

Of course I do. Don't cry.

Granted, but then everyone would think you're a slick saleswoman and nobody would trust you.

I wish I didn't have to go to bed.

[Riesa]

Granted, but then you'd be a little strange.

I wish it was the weekend, and the kid's were at Grandma's.

[IrishCanadian]

You guys are very entertaining!
Granted but Grandma wouldn't be at Grandma's house.
I wish shaving wasn't necessary.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted but you'd be bald all the time :lol:....

I wish i was not here.

[Pensive]

Granted, but then you would have missed having a place for Gossip.

I wish that I will complete Sons and Lovers today.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. You hear a knock on your door--it's your new son and his lover. You go to jail for double-homicide.


I wish that today's music were better.

[Pensive]

Granted, But then there will be no value of your "annoying" singing.

I wish to eat a cake today.

[Whifflingpin]

Granted - it is a cake of soap

I wish my house was tidy

[Pendragon]

Granted! Now, you're evicted!

I wish I wasn't so fat!

[emily655321]

Granted, but you waste away to nothing and die.

I wish my hair never needed washing.

[rachel]

granted,but all the pages love you so much they fight constantly over who will be the one whose eyes fall upon the one they love, so you never get to read more than three words at a time and can't stop them bickering.

I wish I never had to sleep so I could do much much more for the hurting.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted but now you lose all your Dreams......

I wish i could control time....

[Pendragon]

Granted! But all you can do is loop it, so that it replays over and over....

I wish that I worried less....

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. You're teleported into the future, where machines do your worrying for you. You still aren't any more well-adjusted.


I wish that baldness was attractive, for emily's sake :p.

[Riesa]

Granted, and well, it just is.

I wish that everyone would just be happy with the way they are.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Time stops, the world freezes, and no one does anything to improve themselves again, EVER.


I wish credit card interest rates were lower.

[samercury]

:lol:
Granted but you don't get to have one

I wish I wasn't afraid of anything

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Totally fearless, you walk off a cliff.


I wish being geeky was popular.

[rachel]

granted(I love geeks more than just about anything) but your girlfriend has to beat off sixty other girls each day and gives you a black eye over it.


I wish we all lived in a huge rent free castle together and had horses and knew good magic and lived forever

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. All goes well until the sun goes nova and sets us adrift into space, thoroughly burnt, with no way to get back to one another :bawling:.


I wish rachel could be here.

[Virgil]

Granted. I have nothing to add.

I wish I didn't have to take the dog for a walk this evening. (In about ten minutes)

[Riesa]

Granted, but then he'd do his duty in your leather chair.


I wish my six year old would make a basket in his game this weekend.

[IrishCanadian]

Granted you own an antfarm instead
I wish reading week was two weeks.

[IrishCanadian]

too slow ... sorry
Granted but it would be too small.
I wish i wasn't too slow

[Samantha21]

granted...but u will turn into a snail..BUT be the fasted snail!!
I wish i could be tall!(hint im only 5'1 and im done growing!)

[rachel]

granted but then you would be a nervous wreck doing everything at warp speed.

I wish that I could bring all the children and babies here that need me, and have a very large chateau and a couple of nurses to help me out.

[Ryduce]

Granted,but they stop growing at 15, making you stuck with a bunch of rambunctious and cantankerous teenagers for all of eternity.





I wish I could get more than 4 hours of sleep.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Enjoy your extra 30 seconds.


I wish for breakfast cereals.

[Virgil]

Granted, but the milk has gone sour.

I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow.

[rachel]

granted Virgil dear but then Brandi would be too excited and have to be walked every twenty minutes for the whole day.

I wish that I could sneak over to Hawaii and check up on what our Starwriter is really up to.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. And it ain't pretty.


I wish that commercials were always funny and never annoying.

[Riesa]

Granted, but then commercials would be all that's on. (too easy)

I wish it wasn't so early.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Congradulations, you are now late for everything you had on your schedule for today!

I wish I could loose about 50 pounds... :nod:

[emily655321]

Granted. It's all from one leg.

I wish beds were self-making.

[rachel]

granted, but they make themselves up at any hour of the day or night, even when you are in them.

I wish that ballet barre routine wasn't so......er boring and stretching didn't hurt.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. You start breaking bones and tearing ligaments, but can't feel a thing. Bummer.


I wish that no one did harmful drugs.

[Riesa]

Granted. But then there wouldn't be any helpful drugs either.

I wish that I had the weekend to myself.

[rachel]

granted,
but then you find yourself the only one not at the litnet forum party where just EVERYONE else is there. sniff, I would be very sad.
hullo M'Lord love you

I wish that your popcorn container would stay full and have lots of butter for the whole movie.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. The movie is Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore.


I wish that glasses wouldn't break so easily.

[Riesa]

Granted, but then you have a pugdog who chews them up instead.

I wish I could really go to a litnet party this weekend.

[chmpman]

Granted, but none of your favorite members show up.
(does the litnet actually have them, should I be keeping an eye out in the Town Crier?)

I wish I had a puppy dog who would never grow up.

[Riesa]

Granted, but then you'd have a puppy dog that never grew up.

I wish I was in New Orleans.

[rachel]

(moans-not pauly shore, I am paying for my sins)


granted but then you eat at the best restaurants which use a pound of butter in each dish and you gain sixty three pounds.


I wish that cotton balls grew on trees

[Virgil]

I wish I could really go to a litnet party this weekend.
It would be a lovely party. We could have it at my house in the spring when we could barbeque outside.

Granted, but the pollen in the air would give you allergies.

I wish it were possible for all of you to be beamed over for that party. (Beam me up, Scotty)

[Riesa]

(moans-not pauly shore, I am paying for my sins)
:confused: One more thing my muddled brain refuses to grasp, Rachel.

It's a Tom Waits song.

"Well, I wish I was in New Orleans
I can see it in my dreams
arm-in-arm down Burgundy
a bottle and my friends and me
hoist up a few tall cool ones
play some pool and listen to that
tenor saxophone calling me home
and I can hear the band begin
When the Saints Go Marching In
by the whiskers on my chin
New Orleans, I'll be there
I'll drink you under the table
be red nose go for walks
the old haunts what I wants
is red beans and rice
and wear the dress I like so well
and meet me at the old saloon
make sure there's a Dixie moon
New Orleans, I'll be there
and deal the cards roll the dice
if it ain't that ole Chuck E. Weiss
and Clayborn Avenue me and you
Sam Jones and all
and I wish I was in New Orleans
I can see it in my dreams
arm-in-arm down Burgundy
a bottle and my friends and me
New Orleans, I'll be there"

Virgil: Granted!! But then I'd have no opinions and everyone else would argue pointlessly about religion.

I wish I could analyze a poem the way others do.

[Virgil]

[QUOTE=Riesa
and I wish I was in New Orleans
New Orleans, I'll be there"

Virgil: Granted!! But then I'd have no opinions and everyone else would argue pointlessly about religion.
[/QUOTE]
Oh no such arguing at my house.

Poor New Orleans. I was there in May (or was it June) before the hurricane.

Granted, but then you would be as argumentive as the rest of us and lose that Riesa charm!

I wish I could play the saxophone.

[Riesa]

Granted!.....granted....but then you'd spend all your time in the subway playing for quarters and you wouldn't have a backyard anymore.

I wish I was a jazz vocalist.

[Virgil]

Granted but you throat would get sore and you would sound funny.

I wish everyone who works on my projects could read my mind and know what I'd like done.

[rachel]

granted but then your boss would teach all the others to do the same at a seminar and your job would become redundant.

I wish no one made anyone else sad,,,,,,ever.

[Virgil]

I wish no one made anyone else sad,,,,,,ever.
That's such a nice sentiment, I'm just going to grant it.

I wish I could play music now without waking up my wife.

[Riesa]

Granted...here are some headphones.(or now your wife has no ears)

I wish that no one had any reason to be sad....I wish everyone had Rachel to love them.

[Virgil]

Granted...here are some headphones.(or now your wife has no ears)

I wish that no one had any reason to be sad....I wish everyone had Rachel to love them.
Already granted by God. She loves all.

Oh no, I wish my wife had ears again.

[Riesa]

Granted, but now she has no....forks.

I wish for the lazy days of summer.

[Virgil]

Granted, but the humidity becomes overbearing.

I wish for enough bookcases and room to hold my books.

[Riesa]

Granted, but then you live in Bookshelves R Us, and they don't allow dogs.

I wish that I could be an astronaut.

[Virgil]

Granted, but then you meet up with Major Tom:


"Space Oddity"

Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills
and put your helmet on

Ground Control to Major Tom
Commencing countdown,
engines on
Check ignition
and may God's love be with you

[spoken]
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Liftoff

This is Ground Control
to Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave the capsule
if you dare

This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating
in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past
one hundred thousand miles
I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much
she knows

Ground Control to Major Tom
Your circuit's dead,
there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you....

Here am I floating
round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do.

I wish I didn't have to google for song lyrics.

[Riesa]

OH, I LOVE that song. I love David Bowie, in fact, that's what I really like about Mick Jagger. ;)

Granted, but then you'd have to go dig out your CD and look through it, and type it all out if it even had the lyrics in the first place.

I wish I wasn't so sleepy.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Now you're dead.


I wish for a bagel.

[Pendragon]

Granted! So sorry it's stale, but whatdaya want for a wish?

I wish I could talk to animals...

[Virgil]

Granted, you can actually do that right now without needing a wish. It's just that they don't understand what you say.

I wish everyone on lit net was in perfect health.

[rachel]

granted but then noone would want to stay at home and go online and the litnet forum would close down.


I wish that I had time to go to the riding academy every now and then, it has been so long.

[Virgil]

Granted, but the horse they give you is a broncking bronco (pselling?)

I wish my wife wouldn't nag. Nag, nag, nag. :D

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but now you are alone.

I wish i could make Prince of Persia T2T work..

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. It works on the wrong console.


I wish that dodgeball was an international, intermural sport.

[Pendragon]

Granted! You may niether watch it nor participate in it. http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/grinser/grinning-smiley-021.gif

I wish I could find a decent DC Comics website!

[samercury]

Granted but you’ll only find it once :p

I wish I could find the scanlations for Glass Mask vol. 16& up :goof:

[rachel]

granted but then you bump your head and forget you even knew anything about it.


I wish that we had a proper english fish and chip shop like I am used to , with newspaper wrapping and mushy peas.

[Virgil]

Granted, but you would have one customer who would eat all your inventory up: ME!

I wish I could play thse games all night long.

[chmpman]

Granted, but then you'd be tired in the morning.

I wish Spring Break started this Mon., not next.

[Riesa]

Granted, but then this Monday your house would burn down and you would spend all week uncomfortable.

I wish we could be a planet of humans instead of countries.

[IrishCanadian]

Granted, but then an evil dictator would take economical and commercial advantage of the globalization.
I wish te word "wait" was not necessary in any vocabulary.

[Pendragon]

Granted! But you'll have to um, tarry awhile.

Sometimes I wish kids came with instruction books! :rolleyes:

[sheru]

granted up to the and of misery.

[RobinHood3000]

Um...I guess I'll answer Pendragon's as well?

Granted--they're incomprehensible, as instruction manuals should be.


I wish that cholesterol wasn't so unhealthy.

[rachel]

(yummy cholestral)

granted but then you would overindulge and end up three hundred pounds, and that is just in one leg!!!!

I wish that you could just say it and a lovely roaring bonfire, complete with perfect slender branches and loads of marshmallows would just appear and right outside in a perfectly contained fire pit.

[Riesa]

Granted, but now the wind has picked up and you keep having to move your chair because the smoke is getting in your eyes.

I wish I had a famous blue raincoat.

[Pendragon]

Granted! But all your other clothing is rather infamously out of style....

I wish people could stop fussing all the time!

[Riesa]

lol

Granted! but now everyone speaks in a very loud voice constantly complimenting each other.

I wish my dog didn't have a Napoleon complex.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Now he thinks he's the Pope!

I wish my French wasn't so lousy...

[Riesa]

Granted....now you are French.

I wish I didn't have to go clean the house. :(

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Your house now says "This Side Up" on it.


I wish for a new lamp.

[Riesa]

Granted, but now there is an evil genie living in it who freely revises all of your wishes so that the outcome isn't all that you'd exactly want. ;)

I wish some people just liked a good laugh....

[Virgil]

Granted, but then we would all look like we were insane and have to be locked away.


I wish we ddn't have our wishes conflated like we do around here.

[rachel]

granted, but then this would just be a boring disney cinderella thread

I wish I had my brothers horse, a thoroughbred, eigteen hands high. Beautiful.
I would take little children for rides and watch their eyes light up in happiness,.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Enjoy your dinner. (I'm sorry, rachel! I don't mean it!!)


I wish for a box of chocolates.

[Ryduce]

Granted,but you can't open the box.






I wish school was easier.

[Virgil]

Granted, but then the teacher would confuse your gender and put you in the girls camp. :D


I wish I didn't have to read the day's posts to catch up with what's going on.

[Riesa]

Granted, but now there aren't any posts to read.

I wish I had a live in gourmet vegetarian chef.

[Ryduce]

Granted, but then the teacher would confuse your gender and put you in the girls camp. :D


I wish I didn't have to read the day's posts to catch up with what's going on.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. :brow: :brow:

[RobinHood3000]

Ooh, high-five for Ryduce!

[Pendragon]

Granted, but now there aren't any posts to read.

I wish I had a live in gourmet vegetarian chef.
Granted! But you get this sudden craving for pork chops and lobster bisque...

I wish I knew what was going on sometimes! :cool:

[Riesa]

Granted, but then you'd be a know-it-all. :(

I wish I could time-travel.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. The multiverse explodes as a result of the carelessness of one of your many selves existing at a single time.



I wish that schoolwork was just a smidgen easier.

[Riesa]

Granted, but now you are unchallenged and bored.

I wish I was a scientist.

[Virgil]

Granted, but then you turn into Mrs Hyde.

I wish I would get to go out with my old friends for once.

[Riesa]

Granted, but then you find you really have nothing in common with them anymore, and you really just want to go home the whole time.

I wish I could hop on the double dutch bus.

[rachel]

Granted, but then the teacher would confuse your gender and put you in the girls camp. :D


I wish I didn't have to read the day's posts to catch up with what's going on.

Oh like putting Ry in a girls' camp is going to make him sad!!!(what are you thinking?)

double dutch bus:

granted but you find out the driver had his license revoked eight years ago for being legally blind and you are on a mountain road overlooking a cliff.

I wish that I could be in the Serengeti for just one week this summer.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Fortunately for the lions and hyenas, you taste just like chicken. It's a tragic end to a fun week.

Command and Conquer

[Nightshade]

how is that a wish?????
:coinfused:
Granted unfortunatly you were conqured by a rebelling army of geenees SO you lose


I wish biscuits werents so fattaning

[Pendragon]

Welcome Back!http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/party/party-smiley-037.gif :wave: Hi, Night!

Granted! But now, everthing else is....

I wish I didn't crave chocolate so much....

[rachel]

granted, but then the government makes a law that only chocolate can be purchased in supermarkets.

I wish I could visit with M'Lord one whole week. :D

[RobinHood3000]

Granted; I'm uglier than you expected :(.


I wish for some dried mango right now.

[IrishCanadian]

Granted you have to share it with the worms that found it while it was drying.
I wish there would be space between one assignment handed in and the next assigned.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Each space is exactly 30 seconds.

I wish for a wristwatch that kept perfect time.

[Virgil]

Granted, but you will be punctual to your own funeral.

I wish my wife kissd me more than my dog. (My dog kisses me a lot.)

[IrishCanadian]

Granted, but she begins to kiss like your dog
I wish there was someone around long term to kiss me.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. He owns Neverland and has no nose. Bummer.


I wish that Michael Jackson wasn't quite so repulsive.

[Nightshade]

:lol: * dramatically wiping away tear of laughter*http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/077.gif
well you asked for it...... granted but hes so attractive they make him president of the world ( the worlds become one country now you see)

I wish I was better at this sort of thing :rolleyes:

[Pendragon]

Granted! But now you are a failure at everything else!

I wish I had a dime for every time I messed up.

[Whifflingpin]

You have - but now you're entombed in the hill of dimes

I wish I could

[Riesa]

there were some funny ones on this page.."30 second space", and "she begins to kiss like your dog" to name a couple.

For whifflingpin:

You wish you could complete your wish.

Granted but then all of your books disappear.

I wish it was sunny outside.

[Virgil]

Granted, but she begins to kiss like your dog

Is that a bad thing? I'm might actually enjoy that. :D

Granted, but then you get a dry spell that parches all the farms and kills the produce.

I wish it wouldn't snow tomorrow.

[Ryduce]

Granted, it snows the day after tommorrow.





I wish I had a lady friend.

[chmpman]

Granted, but then you fall madly in love with her and she insists on maintaining only a friendship. I hate that.

I wish I had a lady love.

[Riesa]

Granted but then she turns into the incredible hulk at midnight.

I wish I could have a few more hours of alone time.

[Virgil]

Granted, but then the poor children would feel motherless.

I wish I could sing opera.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but you can only sing in Duckish!

i Wish my hand would stop hurting ....

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Thanks to your friend the hatchet, you just became left-(or right-)handed. Now it's your stump that hurts.


I wish rachel didn't feel so bad...

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but then rachel does not exist..

I wish i had Dreadlocks.

[Ryduce]

Granted!Your back hair grows long, matted,and becomes dreadlocks.




I wish that life was easy.

[chmpman]

Granted, you experience head trauma and go into a coma.

I wish I could choose my own deadlines.

[Pendragon]

Granted! However, you're dead....

I wish I didn't have to take all these *********** pills!

[Riesa]

Granted.

I wish we weren't so prudish about a few measly letters.

[rachel]

granted but then letters and words don't exist.

LOVE YOU ROBIN, I am fine, really-because you exist.

I wish Riesa could come up to SilverStar with me tomorrow and go trail riding and giggling.

[Virgil]

Granted, but then I would barge in on the party with my own horse and they would have to bear my company.

I wish TV had better stuff on.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Now your television is clad in a stunning floral sundress and matching beret.


I wish comic books were more well-loved among people.

[Riesa]

Granted, now they are more loved than people.

I wish my kids didn't think toothpaste was paint.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Now they think it's a snack food.


I wish that water tasted better but was just as healthy.

[Virgil]

Granted, but drinking too much made you kidneys tun to jelly.

I wish I could shoot a bow and an arrow.

[Ryduce]

Granted,you shoot yourself right in the foot.




I wish tommorrow was saturday.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted, but it's followed by a month of Sundays that screws up everyone's schedule.

I wish I could swashbuckle.

[Virgil]

Granted but your pants falls down in the middle of a thrust.

I wish rubber duckese was a real language.

[chmpman]

Granted, but those who speak it are ostracised and persecuted by society, and slowly the language dies out.

I wish there was tolerance in the world.

[BeingaBunny]

Granted, but only for tolerance towards racism.

I wish I had a jungle gym.

[Ryduce]

Granted,you now have a weight bench in the middle of a rainforest on the Marquesas islands.Watch out for those parasitic roundworms.They can get pretty nasty.





I wish I was cool.

[chmpman]

Granted, but then "cool" becomes suddenly out of fashion, and chess club (and internet lit. forum members) get the ladies. Nerds Rule!!! Nerds Rule!!!

I wish that'd happen.

[BeingaBunny]

Granted, but you are gay. You meet a big hairy guy named Al.

I wish I was taller.

[chmpman]

Granted, but those ceiling fans now seem mighty close.

I wish the bunnies could talk.

[rachel]

granted, but then you would hear all the girl bunnies fighting over you and lose any desire for a human girlfriend-ever.

I wish I could go to see Rent with Virgil and then talk about it over coffee before flying back home.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but Virgil still speaks only Duckish :p

i wish we all could meet some day.....

[Nightshade]

Granted but it costs each of us hundreds of $$ and we can all so drawn up into our own little world we forget the real world.

Im wishing I hadnt just finished off my little sisters biscuits....

[Pendragon]

:lol: Granted! But I don't think she'll want to eat them now, anyhow!

I wish I could turn back the hands of time...

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. But now your clock's broken.


I wish that alcohol didn't kill brain cells.

[Ryduce]

Granted,but it still kills you liver.





I wish that I was a good student.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Everyone else becomes great.


I wish Ben Affleck did more writing and less acting.

[chmpman]

Granted, but what he writes is love letters to Jennifer Lopez, and we have another Bennifer affair; with anothe Gigli thrown in also.

I wish the gossipy media would go to hell.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. They get thrown back. Good news--plenty of juicy gossip from down under!


I wish that gummy bears grew on trees.

[rachel]

granted but when you try to pluck them they scream and cry for help and cry buckets of tears.

I wish that I didn't bite my finger nails or my lip when I am nervous or concentrating on something.

[Riesa]

Granted, now you lick your elbows when you're nervous.

I wish I didn't have a headache.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but now your back hurts.. :p

I wish i had a nickle for everytime.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. An infinite quantity of nickels falls on you at once. Ow.


I wish that my video card got an upgrade.

[Virgil]

Granted, but Virgil still speaks only Duckish :p

i wish we all could meet some day.....
:lol: :lol: Willow, you are too much!!

Granted but your student bus pass gets revoked.

I wish I was as funny as all of you.

[rachel]

oh but you ARE and you don't even know it. You crease me up a lot!


granted but then we would all have to turn to Cathie Lee Gifford to be the serious guy with all the advice and knowledge everyone needs each day.

I wish that I didn't have a fever and a tummy ache right now.(OW)

[Virgil]

If true Rachel, drink plenty of fluids, eat some chicken soup, and get plenty of rest.

Granted, but then you get a cold.

OK, I wish I wasn't as funny as Rachel says.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. You turn into Ben Stein.


I wish that Jeopardy! had a more logical title.

[Ryduce]

Granted,now it is called random trivia.






I wish I could sing.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Greensleeves is perpetually stuck in your head.


I wish that I could play the guitar.

[Virgil]

Granted, but it's only an air guitar.

I wish I could have some Italian gelato.

[non sum]

what is with the gelato, that's two threads with the same theme, are you that hungry? :D

oh well, granted! though it says italian, it is really imported from latvia

i wish i could get a descent grade in biochem.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. It keeps going down...and down...and yet farther down...


I wish tap water was better than bottled water is now.

[rachel]

granted. period. I wish and pray that for you dear.


I wish that Britain, New York and Israel were in Canada. We have enough room!

[Virgil]

what is with the gelato, that's two threads with the same theme, are you that hungry? :D

oh well, granted! though it says italian, it is really imported from latvia

i wish i could get a descent grade in biochem.
Hi non sum. I don't think I've ever welcomed you to lit net. I hope you enjoy it here.

But then Canada would no longer have an artic and all those poor wolves would die off.

I wish I was able to welcome all newbies, but some get through.

[rachel]

granted but then all of them would feel they could never measure up to you and go to another forum.

I wish that Riesa would ride Ebony Mirage thru the sky to my house in the deep still of the night and we would ride upon his back past the Milky way, our hearts beating as one, sisters in Faerie land.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted but you ran out of gas near Neptune... Luckly Same Spaceship is just there!

I wish i knew how to speak read and write in all languages of this world...

[Pendragon]

Granted! Tommorow, you wake up on a different planet, where silicon-based lifeforms live and communicate telepathically.

I wish that I would age no more.

[Riesa]

Granted, you are dead.

I wish that I was able to communicate telepathically.

[Pendragon]

EDIT: I was a little slow, but I like my answer!

Granted! But you can only contact the dead....

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but you have no mouth.

i wish i could teleport myself from one plave to another.

[Riesa]

Granted, but you have no space suit, and not every planet has oxygen.

I wish it was summer and I was water-skiing.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Your boat is sinking!

I wish I knew what makes people tick sometimes....

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but they tick cause of the bombs i put inside them.

i WIsh i could be somewhere else.

[Riesa]

Granted but you end up in a train in India with only a hole in the floor for a toilet and you have food poisoning.

I wish I was back in Medieval times watching a real jousting tournament.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but you are one on the prisoners acused in trison waiting for execution.

I wish i had a green hair.

[Riesa]

Granted but then the rest of your body is pink.


I wish I could lay around all day doing nothing but reading.

[Virgil]

I wish I was back in Medieval times watching a real jousting tournament.
Oh, I bet you would be the princess that they are jousing over.

Granted, but your mother would visit and notice how dirty and dusty the house was.

I wish I owned a horse, make that two, one for my wife too.

[Riesa]

:blush: sweet.

Granted, but you have to own four because wherever you and your wife go, Rachel and I tag along behind you whispering, pointing and giggling.

I wish it would rain so the bluebonnets would be beautiful this spring.

[rachel]

granted but then a terrible wind comes along and you find they are really bald and don't merit the name.

I wish that Willow was here, I would do his hair green and show him how to do proper dreadlocks and then we could salsa and spend all night phoning up all the members of litnet and telling them jokes and before hanging up say we were Riesa or Virgil

[Riesa]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but my plane crashs on the coasts of canada.

i wish i was imortal.

[Riesa]

Granted, but nothing is ever funny again.

I wish I could fence.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but now you are a fence.

i wish i could remeber like an elefant.

[Riesa]

Granted, but now you are the size of one too.

I wish I could ride an elephant.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted but now you are a flee on his back.

i wish i was the prince of persia.

[Virgil]

granted but then a terrible wind comes along and you find they are really bald and don't merit the name.

I wish that Willow was here, I would do his hair green and show him how to do proper dreadlocks and then we could salsa and spend all night phoning up all the members of litnet and telling them jokes and before hanging up say we were Riesa or Virgil
Oh, I think Rachel is getting even with Riesa and me over making fun of her precious Robin last night in the Questions thread. :D

Granted, but then Alexander the Great will be reborn and dispose of the prince again.

I wish all my bills were paid without me having to go through the hassel.

[Riesa]

Granted, but Persia no longer exists so all your harem girls are long dead, and all your lovely gold and silver is buried with them.

I wish I was Queen of the World.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted but you are now Broke..

I wish i was here but not there.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Nothing happens--what a waste of a wish...


I wish sunflower seeds came out of the sunflower salted.

[Keltic Banshee]

granted... but then they are poisonous and you can't eat them...

I wish I could clap my hands and be wherever I wanted to be in the world

[rachel]

granted,
but then your hands fall off from all that clapping and you have to hug everyone with your stubs.

I wish that money really grew on trees, I would plant one in everyone's yard.

[Ryduce]

Granted,but the economy collapses after the great forest fire of 2011.







I wish I had something to do....................

[Virgil]

Granted, read The Sound and the Fury.

I wish I had a wine cellar.

[Keltic Banshee]

granted, but then you have to take care of all the trees you planted

I wish... I wish I could think of a wish to wish LoL

[samercury]

Granted but it can only happen once

I wish I could fly

[Ryduce]

Granted,you fly right into a power transformer.







I wish I didn't have social phobias.

[Virgil]

Granted, but your new gregarious nature makes you seem crass and arrogant.

I wish I didn't have heartburn.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Now you have indigestion :p.


I wish for a soda can.

[samercury]

Granted...but you can't drink it

I wish that I could finish this assignment tonight.

[Virgil]

Granted, but your friends on lit net miss you.

I wish my beer was colder. (We like it very cold in the U.S.)

[kilted exile]

Granted, its frozen (incidentally has this ever happened to anyone else?)

I wish I didnt need sleep

[samercury]

Granted but you become bored with life

I wish all wishes were granted

[Pendragon]

Granted, but they are instantly repealed. http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/tiere/animal-smiley-004.gifhttp://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/tiere/animal-smiley-003.gif

I wish I could travel the world.

[Virgil]

Granted, its frozen (incidentally has this ever happened to anyone else?)

Of course. I hate that. When you open the bottle it the slushy beer just expands and dribbles over.

Hi, Pen. We're not ususally on at the same time. :wave:

But you woud get mugged in some strange city.

I wish I could keep drinking beer without getting drunk or fat.

[Pendragon]

Granted: But I don't think the non-alcoholic stuff tastes as good (not that I drink, I quit years ago)

I wish I could swim using my legs as well as my arms. Can you say "uncorordinated?" :lol:

:wave: Yo, Virgil!

[Virgil]

Granted, but then you get arthritis from over using your legs.
(I have trouble too coordinating my legs with my arms whn I do the crawl stroke.)


I wish I could I could remember all the jokes I hear.

[Riesa]

Granted, but that's all you can remember, and people stop telling you new ones...so you become extremely annoying repeating the same joke over and over and over and...

I wish I had some beer.

[Virgil]

Granted, but you get a beer belly and your husband won't pay attention to you any more.

I wish I didn't have a personal rule that says I can only have two drinks in one day.

[Riesa]

Granted, (where did that come from anyway?) and now you can have as many lemonades as you want and you can never drink any more water.

I wish that Bob Dylan was in my house singing and playing the guitar right now.

[Virgil]

Personal rule to keep things under control. I don't always follow it.

Granted, but his voice and guitar ability has not improved. [Friend once made the comment that Dylan could sing, played lousy guitar, and had no ear for the harmonica, but he sure could write songs. That's always stuck in my mind.]

I wish the spring would finally arrive so I could start my gardening chores.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but the land is now dead.

i wish i was a weeping willow.

[Riesa]

Granted, but you are a weeping willow in the middle of a horrible city, and nobody loves you and they throw their garbage and cigarette butts at your trunk and take your weepers and make little children braid them into whips for the masters of the workhouse to whip the little children with.

I wish that Jack would make a basket at his basketball game today.

[Weeping Willow]

granted... ( i can't say something bad.. cuase if something will happen to him i will be very sad and afraid.. ) ..

I wish i was in the middle..

[Riesa]

Of the complete the thought thread? (thanks, that's sweet, though a little superstitious :lol:)

I wish I had more time today to chat with my friends.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted but you miss jack's game :p

I wish i could heal the pain.

[Riesa]

Granted, but then you lose your sense of humour.

I wish I could understand everyone.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but htey can't understand you :p... p.s Riesa.. i think you allready said i would lose my sence of humer ... hmm... :eek:.. gotta check that...

I wish i could make Banshee Smile.

[Riesa]

granted, but then that's all she can do and people think she's completely nuts....(you are probably right, my grantings are getting redundant, :rolleyes:)

I wish I wasn't ever redundant.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted but then you stop making us laugh all the time :p

I wish i had a Yellow rubber duckie :p

[Keltic Banshee]

Granted, but then it would always sink when you put it in the bath...

I wish I didn't have such a good memory for stupid details...

[Riesa]

Granted, but he is magic, and comes to life at 3:30 am and eats your guitar, then scratches holes in your favorite pillow, and you can never catch him, not even with your lasso.


I wish willow's hand was all healed, and would never hurt again.