Make A Wish

[shinigami]

granted.. You know it actually exists.. um... granted that we are talking about 2 different "bananas"...heheheh

I wish that "the Count of Monte Cristro" was never read by Jose Rizal....

[cuppajoe_9]

Granted, but it was never written either.

I wish that I had somthing better to do with my evening.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, Jose overhears you reading it aloud.

I wish I could grow a banana tree in my yard.

[shinigami]

Granted but they never grow healthily...

[cuppajoe_9]

Granted, but your entire neighborhood is instantly overrun by monkeys.

I wish for the ability to pass through walls.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you aren't invisible when you pass through your own clothes.

I wish I had as many good pairs of pants as good shirts.

[shinigami]

Granted but that means you have a very limited wardrobe...

I wish I remembered to wish for a wish a while back...

[cuppajoe_9]

Granted. You have none of either.

I wish my car started reliably.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but it can't turn off.

I wish I had the hugest banana split on earth right now.

[shinigami]

granted but you end up trapped in the banan split... Havving an ice cream covered corpse...

[Mililalil XXIV]

That ain't your wish, is it kid?

[shinigami]

Eww.... that's just plain freaky... I forgot [again] to post a wish... Okay....

Um... I wish that my glass of water is never empty... lukewarm water of course...

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you have to drink lukewarm water, and drink it some more. How about some dry ice for that water?

I wish I had a million dollars for every treacherous sentiment others have had toward me.

[shinigami]

Granted that those dollars were stolen...

I wish I could kill someone and get away with the naughty deed..

[Mililalil XXIV]

Forget it - suicide is too naughty! How about you just get away with singing karaoke?

I wish I had already proven all that I ever have to prove.

[shinigami]

granted you've got nothing to prove...

I wish I was a heroine anime character...

At least I can sing karaoke...

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but everyone is always noticing how fantastic you are!

I wish I could gage the size of this hill that causes so much strife and pin cushion bruises.

[shinigami]

Granted, but you find out it indeed is just a very very small hill...

I wish that Mil retracted that comment bout that phony part... That was wrong...

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but now you secretly bear the guilt while I heap compliments on you in good faith. (You're not phony! Just guilty!)

I wish I hadn't made Shinigami feel bad with a phony accusation.

[shinigami]

Granted and granted...

I wish that I could cut myself and no one would care...

[I like the taste of blood...]

[LIVEFROMBFLD]

Granted - but there will always be someone to care.

I wish I could push a button right now and be in the arms of the one I love for the rest of our lives.

[AimusSage]

Granted, the instant love button is a great invention, but someone else presses it too and you don't love anylonger.

I wish I knew what it was.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you don't know where it is.


Granted and granted...

I wish that I could cut myself and no one would care...

[I like the taste of blood...]
I care far too much to let such words go.
I wish whatever led to Shinigami typing the above had not occurred.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but now he dies cause he/she is a Vampire and need blood to survive...

I wish i would get angry on stupied stuff....

[AimusSage]

Granted, you get really angry about this wish and proceed to bash me up :eek:

I wish I knew what happened today, apart from the obvious.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, i was at a holiday dinner... now you know it all :p...

I wish it at the beach right now...

[AimusSage]

Granted, you wish it at the beach, but nothing happens, because the wishmaster was just bitten by a shark and rushed to the hospital.

I wish that I knew what I was babbling about half the time, and the other half I didn't.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, you go and bu a tape recorder! oh and by the way you Shrink apoyntment is at 8:30 tommorow morning ok :p...

I wish it was not as hot as hell here!!!

[AimusSage]

Funny, I thought it was at nine :p

Granted, it's not quite as hot as in hell yet, but that's only because it hasn't entirely frozen over yet, be careful with the frostbite in your fingers :p

I wish that what I knew was something worth knowing and not just another pile of rubbish and worthless information.

[kathycf]

Granted.
Unknown to you, what you thought was "rubbish" was actually a formula for a safe and ecologically sound fuel source. (dare I say it was made from your favorite vegetable?)

I wish I had a new car.

[Virgil]

Granted, but of course it's a lemon and barely runs.


I wish I wasn't so tired this evening.

[rabid reader]

Granted you die of a coke overdose
Wish I didn't need a student loan to goto university

[water lily]

Granted, but you live Egypt (where University is free) and you get many sunburns there.

I wish I had a flying carpet.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but it always tilts and drops you before it gets very far - then it takes off into space until you are asleep in bed, returning while you dream about new carpetting.

I wish I had that magic carpet.

[LIVEFROMBFLD]

Granted - the magic carpet can and will take you and one person (if you like) anywhere you want to go one time only, so plan your trip carefully.


I wish my man was sleeping beside me so I wouldn't have another sleepless night.

[blondeatheart]

granted but you fall out of love with him

i wish he loved me like i love him

[LIVEFROMBFLD]

Granted for the rest of your lives and you live happily everafter..............

If I have to settle for right now I wish I could have just one more night like we had in April, and have it soon. Then I could be patient for the rest, I think.

[shinigami]

Granted, but for the rest of the week you see others experiencing the same April you had once more...

I wish that I had violet eyes and a longer hair...

[Pendragon]

Granted! You now have flowers instead of eyes and one long hair on an otherwise bald head. Be more specific.

I wish I were more like some of my fictional creations... :nod:

[AimusSage]

Granted, the lines between reality and fiction blur, unfortunately all the bad people become real aswell, and you are only one man.

I wish to see tomorrow as a day without end, that is filled with pretty things and silly antics.

[kathycf]

Granted, but you have to repeat the day over and over again, like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.

I wish I could get a pedicure.

[kilted exile]

Granted, but then an anvil drops on your foot, you get gangrene and the doctor cuts your nicely pedicured foot off.


I wish I could go out with my girl tonight instead of having to go to work.....

[kathycf]

Granted,but if you had gone to work, you would have gotten a surprise double digit raise, not to mention you and your girl have a huge fight.

I wish I could go to the movies.

[Virgil]

Granted but you date is a slob and the movie is terrible.


I wish I had more pizza to eat.

[rabid reader]

Granted! But sadly since you stayed home you died due tio a bus driving throujgh your living room

I wish I could play hockey!

[shinigami]

granted but you don't play well at all...

Be more specific huh??? Hmm...

I wish I had, have and forever will have a pair of violet-colored eyes and a head full of waist-long chestnut hair, braided.

[I'd be more specific but I think this should do it...]

[water lily]

Granted but whenever you go out you're in the middle of a big sweaty mob of all the people you follow you around, admiring your eyes and your hair

I wish I had some cinammon toast.

[shinigami]

Granted, but it's all moldy...

[I wouldn't mind that.. as long as they kept to themselves...]

I wish that I didn't need yo compulsively correct grammatical mistakes made by strangers,friends.. enyone really...

[AimusSage]

Granted, grammatical errors make I need corrected not be by you.

I wish I could express myself better without having to resort to idiocy.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Uh, you were resorting to "idiocy" before? :rolleyes:

I wish people wouldn't take me for a know-it-all :( :(

[AimusSage]

Granted, but they still see you as a smart man with a lot of knowledge and understanding, even if it they don't expect you to know everything :)

I wish I could be more knowledgeable on topics that matter to me.

[kathycf]

Granted, but then you realize you aren't stupid at all...

I wish I had a chocolate chip cookie, right now!!!

[LIVEFROMBFLD]

Granted, but then do ya' Got Milk?

I wish the waiting was over and I would get the package I'm expecting.

[ShoutGrace]

Granted, unfortunately the package was sabotaged by Cambodian street thugs and now only contains some bird flu remnants.

I wish my stapler worked every time I tried to use it . . .

[rabid reader]

Granted... the memos stuck to your hand really regret it though

I wish for.... World Peace

[Virgil]

Granted but ever country becomes a tyrannical dictatorship.


I wish the rain that has been around fr four days would go away.

[kathycf]

Granted, but then the rain returns with it's cousins, snow, sleet and drizzle.

(very rainy here too... )

I wish I didn't have a headache.

[blondeatheart]

granted but now u have a stomach ache

i wish that he would kiss me tomorrow

[smilingtearz]

Granted, don't forget to brush your teeth...:p

I wish the world was smaller... and people you love didn't live so far...

[AimusSage]

Granted, but the earth just got real crowded.

I wish I could travel the world in minutes. :)

[smilingtearz]

Granted, so where should i pick you up? :D

I wish i had clones... one to sit here and one to sleep...

[AimusSage]

Granted, but one of the clones is jealous of the other :eek:

I wish I could be on the other side of the world :)

[shinigami]

Granted, but you are six feet under the other side of the world...

I wish that I owned Bandai...

[Virgil]

Granted, but you are six feet under the other side of the world...
...
:lol: That is a real good one!

Granted, but it's stock plummets and you are now broke.


I wish I didn't have to stretch before going for a jog.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but now all your muscels are hurting as hell and you can't even get up to go joging..

I wish i didn't have to wish...

[AimusSage]

Granted, I do it for you, and now you have four arms, two heads and one leg. :p

I wish I wasn't so socially inept at times :)

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but now you have million of people calling you all the time and all you want is a piece of quiet..

I wish i was a kid.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted -- start bleating.


I wish for some Oreos.

[Virgil]

Granted, the spoiled poisoned ones.

I wish I didn't have to pay any bills.

[LIVEFROMBFLD]

Granted - You just won the LOTTO and have no more bills, but all the people that you haven't been in contact with are hounding you for dollars.

I wish my guy would blow up my pool so I could soak in it later.

[kathycf]

Granted, but you get pruney fingers.
I wish the sun would come out.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted. The Sun comes out and it blazing hot!! you hide from it...

I wish the grapes i was eating wouldn't end..

[AimusSage]

Granted, they are infinite, and you are forced to eat them until you are sick, then when you feel better, you have to start eating again, for all eternity :)

I wish I could vaporize little frogs with my eyes.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but you kill all the frogs and now the intire FRENCH! people Hunt you down!!
P.s Sorry for all the French people here.. you know... :blush:..

I wish i could collect knowlage in my brain and keep it...

[AimusSage]

Granted, you collect knowledge, and keep it in your brain, never to come out again. :p

I wish I could think coherently about incoherent things.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, you are a PARADOX... hehe... :p...

I wish i could go and see all the concerts that already happen...

[Riesa]

Granted, but it's because you are travelling with the doctor, and you have to keep saving the world between concerts.

I wish Jerry Garcia was still alive.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, I wish it too...

I wish Death did not exist..

[AimusSage]

Granted it doesn't, say hi to your new roommates. Hundreds of them!

I wish some people would be genetically mutated into superpowerful mutants with mini-guns and walk around in a post-apocalyptic world.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, you live in the Mutant war in X-men's world! Good like survive Hummi!! haha!!

I wish i was happy all the time.. :D..

[AimusSage]

Granted, your continued laughter and pointing when you pass a horrible accident makes people really dislike you.

I wish I was a flying superpowered toaster.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, but you get cought and inslaved as a Toast Factory.. :p

I wish i could control time...

[AimusSage]

Granted, but don't let any time get wasted, or you'll be sued by hundreds of corporations.

I wish the jet engined minibike wasn't so fast.

[rabid reader]

Granted now all it does is emite a hole slew of unnecessary green house gases

I wish the world in which I live had back up singers

[water lily]

Granted, but they sing out of pitch.

I wish the world in which I live had back singers who sang in pitch.

[Virgil]

Granted, but it's because you are travelling with the doctor, and you have to keep saving the world between concerts.

I wish Jerry Garcia was still alive.


Granted but there all better singers than you and they kick you out of the group.


I wish Riesa would just come out to play already instead of this one post a day. :D

[Riesa]

Sweet, Virgie, to borrow from Papaya. but sorry, still don't feel like it much.


I wish oranges were square.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted, But now cars drive around them and you can't get any... .. (Sorry this one is lame.. i know.. )

I wish i wasn't so lame sometimes...

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but now you're never lame, and everyone realizes you never were. (You lied to us, Willow!)

I wish I never had an instant wasted on the internet.

[rabid reader]

Granted your internet has now been disconnect and your roof has caved in (stupid cabel supports!)

I wish I was more creative and could think of a flawless wish

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, it is your achievement before your eyes close to a masterful swan song.

I wish I could fly around on a magic swan.

[rabid reader]

Wish granted, and Gods speed!

I wish I had magical morphing abilities that allowed me to become any animal I choose and then allow me to return to my above par beuatiful self when ever my little heart chooses or desires

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but the animal form is so defensive by instsinct, in the wild, that you forget for hours to change back into human form while running from human hunters.

I wish I could bank rest, so that resuscitation I experienced in excess during longer sleep could be drawn from when I have lost sleep.

[rabid reader]

Granted and but because of bad bugetting you have created a sleep deficite and to on lookers you are now dead.

I wish I hadn't taken a nap earily so I could fall asleep now.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but now you are so over-tired that you will have to have only a half-refreshing sleep before morning.

I wish I had avoided all the bad mechanics in life.

[rabid reader]

Granted, you are now broken down on the side of the road in Northern Ontario with the only suitable mechanic three provinces away.

I wish that I had a lifetime supply of everything I ever desired

[water lily]

Granted, but you desire all sorts of silly impracticle things and all the things you NEED but don't desire are with the suitable mechanic in Alberta.

I wish that my hair would dry straight.

[kathycf]

Granted, but it now looks like limp spaghetti (well, you did say straight... ;) )

I wish I didn't have a congested nose.

[AimusSage]

Granted, but why did you put turnips in your nose in the first place?

I wish I wasn't so tired

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, you are no longer "sot ired".

I wish I could charge you copyright royalties for your name.

[kathycf]

Granted, and you earn fifty cents in 20 years of collecting royalties.

I wish I had a ruby ring.

[rabid reader]

Granted but the ruby ring (much like the monkey hand) brings its owner horrible conquences like the duty of taking the garbage out or having to clean the dishes, truly awful :goof:

I wish I had a million ducks

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but they go everywhere with you.

I wish I had a million bucks.

[blondeatheart]

granted but they won't fit in ur house/garden and they make a terrible mess
b careful with wording :P

i wish he would hug me tomorrow

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted - uncle million bucks is at the door. (Or who did you mean?)

I wish I knew what that Blondeatheart was talking about, to understand how to fulfill this business of grants.

[kathycf]

Granted, but then you have to fufill the wishes of the entire litnet forum. Looks like you are going to be a busy guy for a while...

I wish I understood people better.

[blondeatheart]

granted but now nobody understands you

i wish i knew how he felt about me

[amanda_isabel]

granted but you didn't hear what you were hoping to hear. (ouch!)

strange as this sounds,

i wish i felt something for a guy right now

[blondeatheart]

granted but he doesn't feel anything for you

i wish he loved me

[ivonchica]

i wish my ex boyfriend come back from prison :brow:

[AimusSage]

Granted, he is engage to his former cellmate, and asks you to be his bridesmaid :)

I wish I wasn't such a complete idiot that ruins all good things. :(

[Mililalil XXIV]

Ed Grant!
I mean, how dare you insult your self!

I wish I had some advice for poor, poor Aimus, to better his self-pity.

[AimusSage]

Granted, but Aimus' self pity has since started to fade into obscurity.

I wish the mind would block the onslaught of hedgehogs.

[shinigami]

Granted, but then a pack of wildabeest replace...

I wish that I could figure out this dumb program I bought!!!

[Pendragon]

Granted! I'll even be generous and allow you to fiqure out why you bought it!

As I was going up the stair,
I meet a man who wasn't there!
He wasn't there again today!
I wish, oh, how I wish, he'd go away! ;)

[Weeping Willow]

Granted he's gone and now you are all alone and miserable :wink:

I wish i was someone else, someone new..

[Chava]

Wish granted, you become skizofrenic,

I wish the math exam wasn't so damned foreboding

[Pendragon]

Granted! Good news and bad news. It's over and you failed.

I wish I could really meet the people I know on this forum. :nod:

[AimusSage]

Granted, it turns out this is a secret society for homicidal maniacs and you were the only one that didn't know :eek2:

I wish Holland wins the world cup this year. :D (they already won the European Youth Championship :D)

[kathycf]

Granted , but unbeknownst to you, the meaning of the term "world cup" changes and it is now something *cough* little Johnny uses for his "needs"...(poor Holland, poor poor Holland...)

I wish I would lose 10 pounds.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Granted, but you find 10 dollars American to take their place.

I wish I had slept early every night for the past year.

[AimusSage]

Granted, you slept early every night, but forgot to wake up untill the afternoon of the following day.

I wish the dream I had last night comes true. :)

[Pendragon]

Granted! As each person dreams several times a night, the nightmare will come true!

I wish people understood the "Geek Code." ;)

[AimusSage]

Granted, now everyone uses it and it looses it's purpose.

I wish Spain vs. Ukraine will be a good match to watch, so far it seems promising.

[Chava]

Granted, but your TV burns out, and you missed it...

I wish my toe would stopå tickeling

[AimusSage]

Granted, you stop tickeling, and are now watching Germany- Poland
(The match was actually really nice to watch)

I wish to do something that is not that other thing I was thinking about.

[kathycf]

Granted, but just know you are picking out your belly button lint.

I wish someone would make me some dinner...

[AimusSage]

Granted, Jay just appeared in your kitchen, but beware of her cookings!

I wish I could turn up the music without waking everybody up.

[Chava]

Granted, but then your Headphones combust.

I wish i could play warcraft, rather than write my essays.

[amanda_isabel]

granted, but then the system crashes and you lose your entire game.

i wish io knew what to do with my practicum.

[Pendragon]

Granted! You know WHAT to do with it but realize you can't.

I wish I was able to move somewhere where no one knew me...

[kathycf]

Granted, but then nobody knows how cool you are.

I wish someone would take the trash out for me tonight....

[RobinHood3000]

Granted, but your hacked-up cadaver is among it.

I wish my breath was fresher.

[kathycf]

Granted, but suddenly the defintition of "fresher" means "smells like rancid socks"

I wish I had a hi-speed internet connection...

[AimusSage]

Granted, but it moves so fast, you keep missing it and having to wait for the next one.

I wish the germs of the world would unite under a single banner.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted, but it's the size of a postage stamp.

I wish for two ha'pennies.

[Pendragon]

Granted! But since you haven't got an ha'penny, God bless you!


I wish I could lose about 60 pounds...

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Who needs a torso, anyway?

I wish for a new mp3 player.

[blondeatheart]

granted by it can only hold 10 songs and keeps breaking

i wish everything worked out

[kathycf]

Granted, but now everything else works in.

I wish there was more time in the day...

[AimusSage]

Granted, the earth just stopped rotating, perpetual night for you.

I wish I didn't have such frivolous brain activity

[Pendragon]

Granted! Can you say "Brain Dead?"

I wish I could get rid of this annoying headache!

(Aside to Robin: Hee-hee! I could loose 60 pounds from my torso and have PLENTY left, mon ami!) :lol:

[AimusSage]

Granted, now just bang your head against the wall real hard and you'll get an even better headache.

I wish I hadn't forgotten to use sun block. :)

[Chava]

Granted, but it wasn't evenly dispersed, and now you have "Tiger Stripes"

I wish that I may find my way while interrailing.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Now you loose you way walking in the park!

I wish my cat would stop whineing when I'm busy on the computer!

[amanda_isabel]

granted, but now he jumps up to your computer table and scratches the monitor--bad.

i wish i knew the answers to my tests tomorrow.

[ShoutGrace]

Granted - Unfortunately a fortuitous block in cerebral displacement prevents you from communicating on paper the thoughts you are formulating in your mind.

I wish Oreo Chocolate Sandwich (tm) cream wasn't derived from pig fat.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Now they are Kosher, but still fattening!

I wish our other cat didn't play with his toy mice half the night!

[amanda_isabel]

granted! now the toy mice plays with your cats 24/7.

i wish i could read our director's mind and predict her moods.

[AimusSage]

Granted, the horrors that transpire in her head drive you insane.

I wish for an open mind.

[Weeping Willow]

Granted,, But i fear you don't like all the mess that comes out of it when i opened it for you...

I wish i could press a button a Remix life...

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, the button was mislabeled and it is actually a retro Nickelodean game show apparatus. You are soon doused in a green slimy/jelly type substance, contemplating your own gullibility.

I wish I hadn't just burned my breakfast . . .

[kathycf]

Granted, but then you realize it only consists of green slimy jelly anyway.

I wish I didn't have to go to the store right now.

[AimusSage]

Granted, the store comes to you, taking the place of your house. Welcome home in the vegetables department!

I wish I knew spanish a lot better.

[kathycf]

Granted, but to your dismay "Spanish" is the nickname of a guy who really hates turnips.

I wish it would not be so humid outside.

[Madhuri]

Granted, it has started raining heavily now, water is pouring into your home and it is about to sink.....you need to do something

I wish I was more worldly wise.......

[Pendragon]

Granted! May I introduce you to the World! Happy?

I wish my heart was not broken....

[AimusSage]

Granted, superglue does wonders to a broken heart, don't sniff too much of it :)

I wish flying donkeys could land without crashing and breaking their legs.

[kathycf]

Granted! Gosh, your head makes a cushy landing spot for all those donkeys, Aim.

I wish I had x-ray vision...

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, you are now required to do nothing but observe the confines of Ronald McDonald's bedroom.


I wish light bulbs were not so expensive . . .

[Weeping Willow]

Greanted, they are very cheap but you live in a place without electricity... :p..

I wish i'll have the mental strengh to make my idea from last night to a real story...

Hay we both have 1930 posts! cool!!!!

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, you idea was about smelly foot blisters and becomes one of the worst stories ever conceptualized.



Hay we both have 1930 posts! cool!!!!

Yeah!! :banana: :banana:

What took you so long, I did it in three months!! :D :D




I wish my post count wasn't so embarassing . . .

[Pendragon]

Granted! It's not, but you are!

I wish to wish no more...


Granted, superglue does wonders to a broken heart, don't sniff too much of it There are times, mon ami, when cleverness comes close to the point of cutting. I was a drug addict once upon a time. I know only too well what sniffing glue will do to a man. It will not heal a broken heart, but it may fry a brain... If my problem was not genetic, and I had stayed on drugs longer than the three years, well, you begin to see what I mean. You will always remaim mon ami, Aimus, oh, wise Sage! I do not change like the wind. Best wishes, and no offence taken, I assure you. http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/n020.gif


Pen.

[kathycf]

Granted, but since you wish no more, you get very bored.

I wish I could succesfully give the dog a bath...

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, you bathe the dog in urine and the smell soon overwhelms both your nasal passages and delicate feminine sensibilities.


I wish my TV remote still worked . . .

[Pendragon]

Granted! But you are still lazy and can't be bothered to find it!

I wish no more.

[kathycf]

Well, granted, but the rest of us grumble because we have to take up the wishing slack.

I wish I had highspeed internet!

[ShoutGrace]

Granted!

Unfortunately, the highspeed internet soon overwhelms your life. You are found some 5 days after installing it; bony, lifeless fingers still clutching the mouse and keyboard, indurated eyes peering into an old refresh of the LitNet games forum.


I wish my lips weren't chapped right now . . .

[kathycf]

Granted, but now every other part of your face is...I don't think a chapped nose is very nice, do you?

I wish I had an ice coffee to drink...

[Virgil]

Granted, but te caffeine keeps you up at night. Maybe that's why you're an insomniac. :D

I wish they would invent a pill that would allow you to eat and not gain weight.

[Miss Darcy]

Granted, but green polka dots spring up all over your body if you consume the pill. :p

I wish I knew more physics.

[kathycf]

Granted, but then you feel obligated to join the "Physics Network Forums" and everyone knows their games aren't as fun as the ones here.

I wish I would remember to pay my bills on time...

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, you pay your bills with overdrawn cheques and the compilation of all those bounced fees lands you in worse financial ruin than before you had tried to pay bills.

I wish my fans weren't so expensive to operate . . .

[kathycf]

Granted, but the price of oxygen has risen quite dramatically.

I wish I didn't have to leave now...

(Goodnight! )

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! You stay and are bored to a very literal death by my incoherent ramblings. Goodnight PAM :nod: .


I wish inspiring things held greater sway . . .

[Madhuri]

I wish I had a job that took me around the world. I feel so stuck up in this place.

[literaturerocks]

granted but everytime you fly to go somewhere different you always have an annoying kid who kicks your seat and cries the whole way there.

i wish i could stop time to read so i could do other things this summer too and i also wish i had the whole rack of literature like my local bookstore :D (would be alot of reading though...but with stopping time!!:D:D)

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, the process of stopping time has most unexpected side effects, the most noticeable of which is the incredible strain placed on your frontal lobes; you spend the rest of an eternity in stopped time drooling on the floor, while vague remembrances of former interests flash sporadically across your infantile mind.



I wish school didn't cost so much!

[kathycf]

Granted. Now school is free, but have you noticed the dramatic rise in the cost of water?

I wish my computer mouse worked properly.

[aeroport]

Granted, but rendered perhaps even more useless by your poorly-functioning computer.

I wish "general ed" worked itself out in high school, not freshman year in college!

[ktd222]

I wish "general ed" worked itself out in high school, not freshman year in college!

Then how are you suppose to this if you had General Ed. in high school?

I wish the rent was heaven sent.

Langston Hughes

[aeroport]

Granted. Unfortunately, heaven is quite a ways off, to say nothing of the complications involved with vertical shipping. A heavy Divine Import Tax has therefore been passed that will make you beg for the comparatively meagre sum of the rent itself.

I wish - oh, how I so desperately wish! - that I had a life.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Here today - THWACK! - gone tomorrow.

I wish for milk.

[thevintagepiper]

Granted...however, it is thick, curdled, and sour! Besides, no one looks honestly dashing in a milk moustache.


I wish I could be in little Perrysburg, Ohio, right now.

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, Perrysburg Ohio has recently been overridden by a terrorist organization consisting of overweight Spanish bandits with serious anti-vintagepipering agendas.


I wish my measuring tape wasn't stuck . . . .

[kathycf]

Granted, but now your hands are stuck together instead. Doh!

I wish to change my avatar...

[thevintagepiper]

Granted, but then the server will be hacked and all avatars forbidden.


I wish to be less lazy.

[kathycf]

Granted, but then you faint from the overwork you subject yourself too.

I wish to know what the weather is like in Dubai...

[thevintagepiper]

Granted, it is more hot than you could imagine...but now you will decide to see for yourself, hop on a plane, and eventually come home sick with sun-stroke, and so tanned that no one recognizes you.


I wish to have the fastest internet in the world!

[AimusSage]

Granted, it is so fast the rest of the world can't keep up and you will spend most of your time waiting for the world to catch up.

I wish I had a basket full of turnips fresh of the field!

[thevintagepiper]

Granted, but you will boil and eat them all at once in a dish of bashed neeps'n'tatties, and will be bedridden for the next week.


I wish no schools had uniforms.

[AimusSage]

Granted, now you have to go to school in your underwear :eek:

I wish radio stations would play some decent music when I'm working, and not that rubbish pop radio crap.

[kathycf]

Granted, but the definition of "decent" has changed and now means only crickets chirping and belch-singing.

I wish that I lost 15 pounds overnight.

[AimusSage]

Granted, the pounds are gone, but it's replaced with an equal mass in kilogrammes. :)

I wish I could be everywhere at once without actually dividing myself.

[aeroport]

Granted; a team of soldiers armed with machetes, grenades, and all manner of nastiness, has been dispatched to carry out your division into many, many, tiny little pieces in order to spare you the trouble.

I wish it would snow.

[kathycf]

Granted, you have fast forwarded into January and all you can say now is
"I wish it was warm and sunny"...

I wish I didn't have to get up and get a drink of water.

[aeroport]

Granted; as you drank plenty of water earlier, you now have to get up and use the restroom.

I wish it was warm and sunny. :)

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Elsewhere.


I wish I had some saltines.

[thevintagepiper]

Granted. But now you are dehydrated by all the salt in the many saltines you ate.

I wish for quiet.

[kathycf]

Granted, but now it is so very quiet that you notice your nose is making an odd and annoying whistling sound as you breathe.

I wish the people working on the street outside would leave.

[aeroport]

Granted; tomorrow, while walking down the street, you do not notice the half-filled hole in the pavement. You fall and die.

I wish my job paid more.

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, you are now paid with venereal diseases, and because you make so much, you die before the week is out.

I wish I had just one more week off before school starts . . . .

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. They take a week off your vacation.

I wish for batteries.

[Taliesin]

Granted.
Nice batteries with a rusty coat and a bit of battery acid on them.

We wish there were 36 hours in a day and that average human life would be the same length in days.

[AimusSage]

Granted, however due to the lenght of the day, humans now need a minimum 24 hours of sleep each day.

I wish I could do what I can't currently do for others that I only do for myself.

[kathycf]

Granted, but their responses are as cryptic as your wish was so good luck trying to figure that out!

I wish I had a meal float right up to me as I sit here typing...

[aeroport]

Granted, only the peas and carrot slices, angry with you lack of interest in them, begin pelting you in the face when your mouth is closed, and the gravy rises from your mashed potatoes and falls into your lap.

I wish I did not have to use the bathroom right now.

[bluevictim]

Granted, but now you have to change your pants.

I wish I can retire now.

[thevintagepiper]

Granted, but then you are bored at home all day.


I wish to brush my teeth.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted. Toilet brush.

I wish I could speed-read.

[thevintagepiper]

Granted, now there are no books left in the world for you to read. Great tragedy!

I wish for ice cream.

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, the ice cream you receive is flavoured "scurvy" and no less than a mountainous wave is washed into your living room (the Dubai heat doesn't make it smell any better :D ).


I wish for uninterrupted sleep.

[kathycf]

Granted. Too bad it lasts for 6 months. Is that what they call "powernapping"?


I wish I did not have a bad temper.

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, you are instead ridiculously apathetic, and prone to severe bouts of acquiescence. :D

I wish for less carpal tunnel syndrome. :rolleyes:

[kathycf]

Granted, but as this entails never using a computer again you quickly become bored and despondent.

I wish my hair was not frizzy

[thevintagepiper]

Granted. Now it is as limp and dull as asparagus that has been boiled much too long.

I wish for a friend.

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Sadly, however, the friend you find is more interested in your piping techniques than in you, and they never fully appreciate you for who you are.

(that was a hard wish to mess up . . . . I'll be your friend, VP :D )


I wish for school being delayed for just one more day!

[ceecee808]

Granted! Then your Uncle Harry, on your mother's side, calls and wants you to work for him in his septic system cleaning business...in August...in Tucson.

I wish my gas tank were full of gas.

[Pendragon]

Granted! Your gas tank is full of gas! However your car's gas tank is still bone-dry, and you might not want to have anyone over today! :lol:

I wish people would just relax and let me be me.

[ceecee808]

Granted! But there goes that role on Broadway.

I wish I could remember the 80's.

[Shalot]

Granted but now you're stuck wearing eighties fashions for all eternity. From now on you will have mall bangs held in place with Rave hairspray. You will wear stirrup pants and an oversized shirt with shoulder pads with some stupid pattern of repeating geometric shapes all over it. The shirt will be hot pink and it will be cinched at the waist with a "funky" belt.

I wish I could go back in time and NOT do all the stupid things I regret doing now.

[Shalot]

And ceecee if you are not female, your eighties fashion hell will go as follows: you will have a mullett and you will wear acid washed, pleated jeans. You will wear a button down, short sleeved shirt and the sleeves will be rolled up one or two times. Your collar will be turned up as well and you will be wearing high tops of some sort. You will wear Claiborne for men cologne and you will drive a metallic blue T-Top Camaro.

My wish from before still stands: I wish I could go back in time and not do the things I did that I regret doing now.

[RobinHood3000]

Granted -- now you regret what everyone else did.


I wish that Hamlet weren't so dense.

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Now Hamlet, as a superficial, easy to understand bore replete with sitcom esque wit and lacking all philosophical perspective, means nothing to you and ends up being a waster of time to read.

I wish that I didn't have to eat my peanut butter with a plastic knife.

[kathycf]

granted! your plastic knife has been replaced by a fantasy computer game sword. How is the 4 foot long radiant-emerald sword of venom (drips poison in addition to melee damage) working out with your sandwich?

Yipes, I wish I wasn't such a dork! (re: my answer above ...:p )

[kathycf]

[QUOTE=Shalot]Granted but now you're stuck wearing eighties fashions for all eternity. From now on you will have mall bangs held in place with Rave hairspray. You will wear stirrup pants and an oversized shirt with shoulder pads with some stupid pattern of repeating geometric shapes all over it. The shirt will be hot pink and it will be cinched at the waist with a "funky" belt.[quote]
That is great! :thumbs_up

Like for sure! Those clothes would look grody to the max now. ;)

Oh yes, my wish still stands.

[thevintagepiper]

Granted; now you are dull and boring, for this comes of the absence of dork/nerdiness.


Granted! Sadly, however, the friend you find is more interested in your piping techniques than in you, and they never fully appreciate you for who you are.

(that was a hard wish to mess up . . . . I'll be your friend, VP :D )


Oh, thank you ShoutGrace.


I wish for a longer summer.

[AimusSage]

Granted the summer never ends, and the heat and lack of rain causes the plant life to die out, after which the animals will soon die out as well, leaving you in a warm barren place.

I wish for a summer that doesn't have too much rain, and instead is nice and warm, 25 degrees celcius, not too high of a humidity factor, and when it rains, it's during the night.

[Pendragon]

Granted, but now you're the Weather Man, and as we all know, the Weather Man seldom is right!

I wish for skies of blue, clouds of white....a wonderful world....

[Shalot]

Granted - now the world is wonderful but you are hideously deformed and you have contracted a horrible illness which prevents you from enjoying your wonderful world.

I wish I had some chocolate to eat right now.

[Jean-Baptiste]

Granted, but it's only 2% chocolate, a milkbar really.

I wish I had bicycle tires that would never go flat.

[Shalot]

Granted -- your tires will never go flat but now the brakes don't work and everytime you fix them they just break again for some inexplicable reason.

I wish the AC were fixed and I wish the neighbor's dog would quit yipping.

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Now the A/C is so cold that it freezes your eardrums and makes you deaf (but hey, you can't hear that dog anymore ;) .)

I wish for a hand massage.

[subterranean]

Granted! 10 bucks per hour ;)


I wish for a foot massage

[ShoutGrace]

Granted! Unfortunately, on the day of your massage you realise that you haven't cleaned out from in between your toes in a long time :sick: . . . the massage turns out to be an embarrasing toejam disaster. Uh.

I wish for unmonitered access to the Internet while at work!

[subterranean]

Granted! Unfortunately, on the day of your massage you realise that you haven't cleaned out from in between your toes in a long time :sick: . . . the massage turns out to be an embarrasing toejam disaster. Uh.


Excuse me???? My toes are completly well cleaned!



I wish for unmonitered access to the Internet while at work!

Sorry, can't give you this one. Just accept it, you're being watch!

[ShoutGrace]

Hmmmmmm. Your wish, dearie? :confused: :D

So you wish to maintain your paranoid delusion that your toes are clean? Granted! Unfortunately, this is aptly recognized by the doctors in white coats as insanity and you are dragged off to a padded room where you may look at your toes and drool until the end of your days.

I wish there was more time.

[subterranean]

Hmmmmmm. Your wish, dearie? :confused: :D

So you wish to maintain your paranoid delusion that your toes are clean? Granted! Unfortunately, this is aptly recognized by the doctors in white coats as insanity and you are dragged off to a padded room where you may look at your toes and drool until the end of your days.

I wish there was more time.



See, I'm so not selfish that I forgot to post my wish!

Suppose I'll check first whether there's a machine that can prolong the time. I'll get back to you on that.

I wish there's a spank police who will spank somenone who called other person as being delussioned

[Pendragon]

Granted! Now, have you heard the song by the Barenaked Ladies Get In Line where the chorus starts "Everybody get in line!" That's the Spank Police Motto! :p

I wish that some delusions could come true, the world would be a more interesting place with creatures like unicorns, dragons, Pegasus, centaurs, etc. :)

[Taliesin]

Oh, this one is too sweet indeed.

Unicorns are quite bloodthirsty creatures and to maintain their beauty and the miracle powers of their horns, they must bathe the horns in human blood wvery once a while. They can go thorugh any matter, making you safe nowhere.

Dragons take over the world, start tackling in dragon politics and their influence spheres, making Earth their battlefield. Humans are cannon fodder and slaves.

Centaurs are animalistic and brutal, smell and stink and don't wash and have a low sense of ethics.

Should you want to include elves in your list, have a look at Pratchett elves. Graceful, seemingly so much higher than us, playful and totally without empathy or moral.

et cetera
We like dark fantasy a lot. Urban fantasy too.

We wish we were better at discrete mathemathics.

[thevintagepiper]

Granted, now you're such a wiz that everyone shuns you as a hopelessly over-the-top-brainy kid, and the teacher's special pet, at that. Not to mention the terrible boredom in mathematics classes.

I wish you didn't have to be eighteen to work at Starbucks :D

[AimusSage]

Granted, the minimum age is now raised to 22.

I wish I could watch Stargate all day long.

[aeroport]

Granted, or, rather, would be granted, had the hand that guides the general arrangement of the universe not most capriciously taken it into its head to cover up the sun for a few days - thereby ending our vital acquaintance with the Day for this interval, by the end of which we shall have, I am afraid, frozen to death and ceased to exist, at which point you shall be again at liberty to watch "Stargate" until you are blue in the ears. Enjoy!

I wish I did not have this annoying mosquito bite on the back of my neck.

[thevintagepiper]

Granted, now it is on the tip of your nose.


I wish for a quieter brother.

[aeroport]

Granted; you shall now be blessed with an infinitely louder sister (which, from what I hear, is far worse).

I wish I were not so tired.

[Schokokeks]

Granted; but you are now bereft of all the (hopefully pleasant) moments that kept you from sleep ;)

The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top.

[AimusSage]

Granted, you only get to come out of your box for a few weeks each year.

I wish I was a better communicator.

[Madhuri]

Granted. Now you are better at wrong communication. :D

I wish for a lovely day, where I could just be me.

[AimusSage]

Granted, but you had better be someone else again tomorrow, or the people at work might frown at you.

I wish for a bright light in the sky.

[Madhuri]

Granted, but that light is only from a shooting star.

I wish I could see a shooting star and make a wish, a real one.