Complete The Thought

[kathycf]

True, my theory pertained to quantum physics, thus having little to do with ol' Jack...But I digress. Tune in for another thilling episode of:


The adventures of some vampire-ish guy named Eddy, who had little to do with quantum physics.

Do vampires enjoy a nice "stake" dinner? :brow: :p

[Pendragon]

OK. It's me. Eddy. The Undead. I've been a vampire for so long I can't remember what my real name was, or how long I've been alive. I came from Salem, Massachusetts. I remember the old witch trials. Poor old women. They didn't have a thing to do with the evil one. Superstition is so bad. Hee. Clapped me in their prison. Outta there like ...

[kathycf]

fleas from a dog that just had a bath, but then I am a vampire so that sort of thing is just old hat. I decided to to visit ol' Salem again because Massachusetts is possibly one of the coolest states in the whole US of A. :p

I made plans to take a train and....

[optimisticnad]

there he was standing, at the train station, wearing nothing but...

[Kelly_Sprout]

...garlic clove. He should have been wearing it on his neck because I wasn't *ABOUT* to bite...

[Pendragon]

anywhere in the vicinity where he was wearing it! I took my fill, then broke his neck. We certainly didn't need him turning into a vampire! As I approached the ticket counter, the clerk commented on a slight red stain on my white shirt. " It's only ketchup. I just dined at a palce around the corner." He gave me an odd look...

[kathycf]

because the only place around the corner was a catfood company. "To each their own, I guess..." he mumbled as he prepared to take my ticket order. That made me feel very...

[RJbibliophil]

...much like a monster who should be on display at a freak show, not parading around ticket booths where I might be a horror to the general public. A lady standing next to me tapped my shoulder and said....

[Kelly_Sprout]

..."Excuse me, Mr. Kent, but you really shouldn't wear primary colors like red and blue and yellow underneath such a nice, white shirt. The colors show through, dearie, you see." As she turned to leave, I had to wonder...

[kathycf]

who she thought she was handing out fashion advice, wearing that 1975 polyester leisure suit in limegreen. To show my utter disdain and contempt for such a personage I...

[Pendragon]

murmered some words I'd picked up from Marie LaVoe during a stretch in New Orleans, and turned her into the toad that she really was! I took my tickets, thanked the googled-eyed clerk, and as I waited for my train, I tried to remember how that spell of forgetfullness started. Hummmm....

[kathycf]

Take the zest of one lemon and add to a mixure of flour, butter and garlic. Wait, no that isn't it. ER, eye of newt? Nope that doesn't sound right either. Gosh I am so forgetful. Why I can't even remember my...

[Sarka]

...own phone number. Not that that matters much, since it's been disconnected every since the winged pig chewed through the cord last June and nearly electrocuted himself, not to mention the catfish. But of course...

[Pendragon]

Ah! I turned and walked back to the man at the ticked counter. "Did you forget something, Sir?" He asked me. "No. You will however forget you ever saw me, and pass over any indications I was ever here." I said four words that were in a language archaic when Rome fell. He passed over my information, and I went back just in time to catch my train. Close one. They'd be finding that body soon, and then...

[kathycf]

my matched set of winged pigs and catfish will begin to mistrust me. Ah, cruel fate! I bellowed at my fellow train riders "Cursed, cursed am I!!!" Just then something even more peculiar happened...

[adilyoussef]

...................to me. But....

[kathycf]

que sera sera, eh? The 2 headed bearded lady with blue hair looked at me and said (out of her left head) "Pal, you think you are cursed? You should meet my friend Sally, now there is a..."

[Pendragon]

----" At which point her opposite hand slapped her and her other head growled "Shaddup, Dolly, you old idiot! I've told you to quit talking about me behind our back!" "Well," Retorted the first head, "You are the one that got hit with an ugly stick so hard it crossed your beady eyes!" "Like we ain't twins, dear heart!" Sally snapped back with venom in her voice. Both yelled at me. "Hey! Where you going?" I named a nice warm place I thought they should go...

[kathycf]

namely, Arizona, because it is a dry heat and would be good for uglystick induced arthritis. "Capitol idea, my dear fellow" Dolly said approvingly. Sally took the opportunity to whack her twin upside the head and ask her why she "is talkin' like some Masterpiece theater snootyboots." This gesture did not go over well, so I ...

[Pendragon]

decided to find a seat in the next car. A well dressed gentleman was sitting there smoking. No, I mean He was smoking! "Ah, Eddy, how ya doin'?" He knew I hated it when he pulled that New York accent. "Enjoying your new digs? I see you have already dined...

[kathycf]

...because you are such a slob. You really are, Eddy". "Do I know you?" I asked. He said...

[Kelly_Sprout]

..."No... but you will." He then turned away. Apparently, I was dismissed, as he was now absorbed...

[kathycf]

at picking very disturbing, unidentified yet nasty looking "chunks" out of his teeth. I shuddered in disgust and even (I will admit) a little fear and said....

[Pendragon]

"Uh, I suppose you know you're on fire?" He grinned showing a double row of sharp teeth. "Blimey, mate! So that's where th' ruddy smoke's coming from." He stopped smoking at once, fished a cigar out of his pocket and lit it with his finger. "Senor, you disappoint me. I who have done so very much for you. And you don't even recognize Old Nick when he comes to see you. Bad for business." I searched for a reply...

[Kelly_Sprout]

...by cracking open a fortune cookie. I read it silently to myself, first. It read, "The secret to happiness lies in giving happiness to others." Now, I believe that any fortune cookie saying can be made more profound by adding the words, "in bed." I read the slip of paper out loud. "The secret to happiness lies in giving happiness to others in bed." Nick looked at me oddly, then...

[Pendragon]

he said: "Aye, and ye made yer bed a long toime agone, dinnae ye, Eddy me laddie? Sure and ye'll lie in her tae, so ye will!" Abruptly he changed accents and spoke one I couldn't mistake. "When you deal with the Devil, Eddy boy, don't try to fix the game. I hold all the cards. You wanted eternal life. So you have it, in a way. Vampires do not die, Eddy. They must be destroyed. I have your soul either way." Nick vanished in a puff of...

[kathycf]

yellow fog, reminding me of a T.S.Eliot poem. "Hmm" I said to myself "Self, you sorely need to get a clue" Just then someone said "One clue, coming..."

[ktd222]

through my boot soles, with a swipe of this magic marker.' The answer is...

[Pendragon]

Five." "Five?" I asked incredulously. "What kind of answer is that?" "Oh," said the little boy who was now seated in a desk beside me. "It's the answer to my math problem." "But I was just in a...

[OZEED]

BUT I WAS JUST IN Another one of my day dreams, oh my gosh look out the window at that enormous purple.....

[Pendragon]

people eater! A one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater? Evidently, the last guy I "dined" upon had some sort of hallucinogenic in his blood. Vampires have to watch out these days. People take all this crap and it gets into their blood, and then you get a freaked out vampire on the streets! Worse they carry diseases in their blood. I knew a vamp out in San Francisco that got Ebola...

[OZEED]

from snacking!!! you see what happens to little vamps who dont listen..."Mr Luicious did I not tell to clean your fangs before you step into my class", the rest of you turn.....

[kathycf]

"...to page 36 in your text and let's all read out loud to pass the time until Young Mr Luicious returns from his roost with clean fangs." Suddenly a loud and yet muffled thumping occured and....

[OZEED]

.....a shout to take cover was sounded in the class. As the undead covered their pale faces against the rays of light that shone through the........

[Pendragon]

...the splintered opening in the oak door, a face appeared in the opening and said, baring his teeth in a sarcastic grin and looking wild-eyed, "Here's Van Helsing!" Fortunately, most of the class made it to the escape tunnel hidden in the...

[Riesa]

cafeteria. Unfortunately, the escape tunnel led to the Cafeteria-Lady's house, and she was just getting ready to start tomorrows lunch and she was out of meat. Grinning blackly, she said, "Hello children!" and....

[kathycf]

Suddenly the roving gang of prepubescent girl werewolves from like 5 pages ago (!!) burst through the door. In a show of solidarity with their fellow creatures of the night they said "Edna" (for all Cafeteria Ladies are named Edna)..."Edna, we are looking at you and girlfriend, we can't see anything but meat" Seeing that the tide had turned Edna gulped loudly and.....

[OZEED]

....tried to mutter something, "whats that, are trying to say something?" hissed one of the sanguins in an effort to show that the wakening was almost complete. They stepped closer, she stepped back. In her defence she blurted out "is this what I get in return........

[dotell]

[QUOTE=Scheherazade;153665]Here is another game (OK, I 'borrowed' the idea from another Forum!):

Comlete the thought started by the previous person and offer another one yourself.

E.g.You should get a cake today...

because it is your birthday!


Here we go:

[B]I wonder why..the bush burns every summer and how it grows back so quickly

[Pendragon]

"Well, you did call us to dinner!" One of the young werewolf girls said licking her chops. Eddy meanwhile became a wolf himself, a vampire power he'd forgotten up till the moment, and mixing into the pack tried to slip away. However, he had forgotten that these young werewolves were all female and just hitting puberty. "A male wolf!" One howled. Eddy got out of there almost literally like a bat out of hell...

[kathycf]

Before they made him come to a sleepover party and tried to braid his fur/hair (dpeneds on whether it is a full moon or not). This was really weird because....

[Bookworm89]

he was dead!

At the library...

[Pendragon]

a strangely dressed grey-haired man was doing research on the paranormal, completely oblivious to the fact that it had been taking place practically under his own nose! But such is the way of some people. They go searching for the answers to questions and miss what is right in front of them all the time! It was why Old Nick chose this moment to reappear, and approach the grey haired old man. He knew the man would have no clue as to whom he was actually speaking, so...

[kathycf]

he decided to dress up in a sparkly sequined jumpsuit and call himself Oomphy Gludgett. Why he did not choose something more subdued in order to preserve his anonymity is not clear, nor is the choice of clothing, but sometimes...

[OZEED]

in an effort to distance himself from his aristocratic roots, he would play.......

[kathycf]

a fast paced game of Peasant Checkers, always making sure to lose. An interesting trick on his part, yet....

[OZEED]

the grey-haired man had strange look of familiarity on his weathered face, could it be he thought to himself, could it really be ........

[Pendragon]

yes, it was! Old Nick knew the grey-haired man right enough. The old busy-body had clashed with Old Nick before. He was a certain paranormal investigator of some note, whose initials shone on the clasp of his oversuffed briefcase M.G. What Old Nick couldn't figure was what the busy-body was doing here. He had made no move when a vampire changed shape before his very eyes, nor when Old Nick popped out of nothing. Oh, well. Forget the paranormal investigator. Eddy was Old Nick's prey tonight, and it was already nearing the midnight hour; time was...

[kathycf]

Fleeting and swift, like a herd of snails caught in molasses. "Hmm" I said to myself, "why I really should...."

[OZEED]

try and stick my diet.MG turned to Nick and smiled.........

[Pendragon]

"What are you up to this time, Nick?"
"Nothing that concerns you, Graves. Mind your own business!"
"Oh, I am. It's just that my "business", as you call it, often involves either you or your underlings."
"I'm after one of my wayward "underlings" now!" Nick growled, a hint of flame beginning to surround his body.
"I see. Good hunting, then." Graves returned to his research.
Nick burned through the door as he left. Just wait until he caught up with Eddy. Just wait...http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/teu42.gif

[kathycf]

He was going to light a fire and then he and Eddy were going to sit down, mano a mano and have a good old fashioned hotdog and marshmallow roast. "Yes indeedy, there will be no sticking to a diet tonight" Ol' Nick thought and then burned some more. "Then that Eddy will really...."

[camel lights]

remember that one day he and his friend Mara,a mysterious western wind, looked at each other for an eternity and suddently...

[OZEED]

broke out in song, singing at the top of their voices, It's a beautiful day by
U2. Yep yep, those certainly were beautiful days. Things were quiet simple back then none of this........

[Pendragon]

"I want to live forever and I'll sell my soul to do so." business came around. But when you deal with Old Nick, he holds the cards. And lately, Eddy had been trying to somehow get out of their contract. So he'd turned the little twit into a vampire--that was still living forever--just on Old Nick's terms. Well, if talking wouldn't work, there are worse things than death. Old Nick thought about what to tell Eddy if he wouldn't play the game...

[OZEED]

due to the fact that playstation was so last season, he had just got the latest......:D :D :D

[Pendragon]

due to the fact that playstation was so last season, he had just got the latest......:D :D :DNote: Next writer can take it from where Ozeed left it. The storyline has lost it's charm for me. Oh, well! :D

[toni]

That's so hard to follow! can we start afresh?

[tainaprincess]

games on addictinggames.com, including hyperframe. However, Eddy found it too difficult because.....

[dramasnot6]

His hands were set aflame.
She packed their bags for them since.....

[Laindessiel]

he died. Complete entourage. Stretchers and all. Ambulance and hospital. Oh well, life is really...

[kathycf]

...like a box of chocolates. Or something like that. At any rate....

(This game doesn't have to be a story, you can just complete what you think the next thought could be)

[Laindessiel]

....Kathy says that this thread does not have to be a continuation of any story. Blame Uncle Pen, Kathy...the Uncle Dragon led us on! But it's okay, because I....

[camel lights]

...am a ghost.

<lol.. it said "'complete' the thought"..my bad englisk?>

[Laindessiel]

Hello Camel Lights! Not bad english. You just have to trail off the sentence you made for me to be able to take from there.

Can you make a suggestion as to how you would want to be addressed, except for Camel Lights? Your username's too long! :p

[kathycf]

Bad english muffin maybe. ;) hey maybe we can call camel lights by the shortened camel? I guess that might be an option if...

[Nightshade]

it didnt make me think of stinky flea ridden things with nasty breath bad teeth and worse manners.

Oh and Ive decided that...

[kathycf]

wearing shoes on one's feet is not a very wise choice. Downright silly if you ask me and then there are the...

[camel lights]

things that make me wanna burn from inside.Then again...

[Kelly_Sprout]

some of those things -- like nachos (heavy on the jalepenos, please) -- are so good going in that the inner burning...

[Laindessiel]

...the throat and esophagus! I like Kimchi, though when my Korean neighbor makes it. Otherwise, I decide that it's too spicy for me. But when I was....

[Janine]

young I only like bland noodles

[davoarid]

...because I was never allowed to leave the small box in my family's attic, until one day....

[Janine]

the locked box opened all by itself.....

[toni]

.......and out came a demonic clown dancing ghastily on his way to..........

[Shalot]

....the secret stash of German daggers my grandfather kept in a hidden compartment of an old trunk, along with some black and white photos of naked, emaciated people standing in a line....

[toni]

...to get their hotdoggy-dog sandwich from the food stall, but little did they know that the hotdogs that were sold were mixed with a chemical named...

[OZEED]

Tricolorophroxide10 which has an adverse reaction in teenage girls resulting in them sprouting facial hair.If you think that is bad wait till you see what it does to.....

[Laindessiel]

...a goldfish sprouting little bumps on their heads, which is actually a different kind of species of goldfish altogether! But now that I think of it, someone could...

[dramasnot6]

make fish for dinner and catch the infection. If only they knew....

[Laindessiel]

that lipsticks come originally from fish scales!!! I wonder if Cleopatra would still smudge her pouter with it. Would you...

[Janine]

powder your nose with a pickled herring?


Hi Lain!

[Laindessiel]

Happy holidays Janine!

And no, I wouldn't. I don't even use oil-blotter! :brow:

...And use a sponge straight from the ocean as a loofah? http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/haushalt/e030.gif Or maybe you...

[ktd222]

Or maybe you could just use the toilet?

Or are you still living in the stone age chasing your....

[dramasnot6]

long lost youth. If you are to have a midlife crisis please do not....

[ktd222]

If you are to have a midlife crisis please do not have it at my expense. I'm too young. I can't afford to purchase a car. Maybe the next time you.........

[Laindessiel]

...are going to be able to purchase a Porsche IF and only IF you do what Donald Trump wants you to do: clean your room, do the laundry, fix the garage, do the accounting papers at the same time polishing Ivanna Trump's nails while doing her Christmas shopping list ALL in an hour. Then maybe, someone will...

[zanna]

Give you a million dollars, like on that show . . .
After which you go out and buy . . .

[Laindessiel]

...the words eccentric, spontaneous, beautiful, intelligent and smart so I could have them copyrighted for my solitary use only. Add in the word selfish, for that matter. I'm too greedy. :p Does anyone...

[Poetess]

Know my sexuality? loool

How the hell...

[kathycf]

am I going to get takeout Chinese food with only two dollars and a roll of twine?

Once there was a...

[ShoutGrace]

emu from Kalamazoo who knew how to brew.

The most interesting aspect of snorkeling is . . .

[Kelly_Sprout]

...is performing it while dining in a five-star restaurant.

From a recent weather forecast: "A foot for sure could wind up being..."

[ktd222]

From a recent weather forecast: "A foot for sure could wind up being the death of mankind," the weather man says, "back to you Bob, for sports..."

[Laindessiel]

...fight from the NFL. Footballers have decided it's the best time for a fight to ensue giving each other some at bat throws and forcing the referee to hand out the red card. Wait - did I just say "red card"? Oh well. At least....

[dramasnot6]

i still have my health. Too bad i lost my.....

[Laindessiel]

kidney and lungs. You, on the other hand,...

[Kelly_Sprout]

don't remember what you've lost, so you don't miss it. (The old "I might be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet" syndrome.)

Speaking of which, what I am supposed to do with...

[downing]

this pencil?

I was thinking, do you.....

[zanna]

know how to draw? What I need now is a really good picture of . . .

[Laindessiel]

...or an interesting person like Dorian? Then maybe, just maybe...

[zanna]

We'll have a winner! Calligraphy is . . .

[downing]

what monkies do not have.

Andrew asked me if you read ''Wuthering Heights''; he needs your answer because you know, he thought....

[Laindessiel]

...if there's a possibility for Heathcliff to fall in love with Nelly and vice-versa. Well, I told him that...

[zanna]

they'd never make it.
But maybe it's about time we . . . .

[downing]

....stop talking about "Wuthering...'' and discuss "Gone with the Wind''. I think Scarlett....

[zanna]

has lots of temper tantrums! :flare: Hoo, I get worn out just reading about her going off! But Rhett, on the other hand . . .

[downing]

...is a very patient person. Frankly, I so love him! But do you think he was going to....

[zanna]

put up with it forever? But you have to wonder why . . .

[Poetess]

But you wonder why it has to end when..

[dramasnot6]

the ice sculpture is melting. Who will clean....

[ShoutGrace]

my oven after I've baked the requiste twelve turkeys for the annual "carnivore ball?" Honestly, I can't imagine how . . . .

[AutumnGal]

afraid of spiders.

Whatever happened to...

[dramasnot6]

those carefree days when school meant finger painting and coloring books. I look back and think....

[AutumnGal]

it was unseemly of me to tease that boy for picking his nose. Afterall, he didn't...

[ShoutGrace]

have anything else to do at the time, I had already "borrowed" his copy of Proust's "In Search of Lost Time." I, of course, had done this because . . .

[AutumnGal]

the snow storm was strengthening and we were sure to get a snow day tomorrow.

I ran outside and...

[dramasnot6]

danced with all my heart. That is, until my legs......

[AutumnGal]

broke through the ice and plunged me into a raging river of sewer water.

Before I knew it I...

[dramasnot6]

woke up to the sound of bells. It was loud yet strangely....

[AutumnGal]

quiet as the crickets chirruped peacefully in the grass next to the country house.

The night was...

[Laindessiel]

...quiet and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a...

[AutumnGal]

retired WWF Wrestler.


The next morning, I awoke to the sounds of...

[zanna]

Calvin and Hobbes raiding the cookie jar. So I got out of bed and . . .

[dramasnot6]

Stretched out on a yoga mat. Then i felt my back.....

[ShoutGrace]

tense up, as if a large insect had grasped it in its pinchers. I figured it was about time to call . . .

[dramasnot6]

my friends over to celebrate the New Year! But they regretted to tell me...

[toni]

that one of them was gravely ill because she swallowed a spoonfull of......

[Laindessiel]

locusts on the way to the drugstore. But then, after he tasted the insects, he concluded that...

[dramasnot6]

They really werent so bad. So he went back and....

[Poetess]

So he went back and ate a roach which was....

[AutumnGal]

dead in his frying pan, atop the leftover...

[dramasnot6]

bubble wrap from packing everything away. I should give it too....

[zanna]

the recycling people, but I don't know how to contact them. :idea: Maybe if I . . .

[ktd222]

the recycling people, but I don't know how to contact them.


Maybe if I had a phone book like any normal human being it would be easier to contact the recycling people. Now I'm just gonna have to throw it in the trash and hope.....

[dramasnot6]

someone finds use of it. If they dont i just dont know.......

[Kelly_Sprout]

someone finds use of it. If they dont i just dont know.......

...Jack!


Have you been over to the children's petting zoo yet to see the new...

[dramasnot6]

gift shop? I spent all my money on.......

[AimusSage]

a replica of a Giant Miniature Pocketknife by Martian Knives INC!

Watery shores in the woods mean the eyes of the hunter are...

[kathycf]

making silly analogies. Now that brings me to the subject of...

[Kelly_Sprout]

...the sentence.


No word in the English language is a part of speech until...

[dramasnot6]

it is spoken by someone with influence. Someone like......

[ktd222]

it is spoken by someone with influence. Someone like Mcgruff the Crime Dog, who is linguistically.......

[kathycf]

a complete washout, but has style and lots of it. While on the subject of McGruf, I noticed that....

[dramasnot6]

my dog has been commiting "crimes" of his own. I had to call him and.......

[B-Mental]

deplore him to stop chasing cats, because...

[dramasnot6]

the neighbours had been complaining. Not that i care but.....

[aeroport]

...had someone mustered the nerve to summon the police, I should have been in a bit of a fat one were they to catch sight of my...

[B-Mental]

illegally grown organic tomato plants. You see I'd bred a giant tomato plant that was peculiar because....

[dramasnot6]

it knew how to play the piano forte. Not very well, but people still heard it.......

[Poetess]

heard it might be a false note because when aliens..........

[dramasnot6]

when aliens turn into piano thieves they switch around the keys. They really give a bad name to........

[kathycf]

...shrubbers and those who aspire to be shrubbers. While shrubbery may not be everyone's idea of interesting, some people seem to feel that....

[dramasnot6]

it is the center of their world. They have even joined.......

[Kelly_Sprout]

...enough earthworms end-to-end to wrap around the equator four and a half times! And if you act right now, we'll include a free set of Ginsu ...

[LPRox015]

...they cut through anything.

Today I feel great because...:)

[dramasnot6]

my wildest dreams have come true! One of them being...........

[ktd222]

my wildest dreams have come true!

One of them being hung upside down on a tree while someone tosses grapes into my mouth. But I digress....

[LPRox015]

losing my concentration and I... :P

[dramasnot6]

need to take my medicine to fix that. But I have run out and must.....

[Kelly_Sprout]

...suck sap directly out of the Tea Tree leaves to get relief. (Tea Tree leaves, as you know, are also good for...)

[dramasnot6]

helping overcome mental anguish. For example, if one day you..........

[andave_ya]

get a headache from a kinky algebra problem you can...

[kathycf]

go down to the park and run a few laps around. Although you might want to watch out for the ....

[andave_ya]

watch out for the big pit in the middle of the park that leads to...

[kathycf]

a mysterious realm, inhabited by mythological creatures and people from fairy tales. Which would be a nice place to visit, although....

[Janine]

eminent danger lurks at every turn and one must decern the good from the bad, since most creatures are in disguise.....

[andave_ya]

and the hero needed to discover the way to make the creatures show their true form and destroy the evil ones is currently...

[Riesa]

sipping a vanilla latte at Starbucks and planning his next fishing trip to the Bahamas where he will....

[kathycf]

Meet a young gentleman named Partridinanor Slumphaggle Hagensmith the II, which is such a coincidence because he...

[Reccura]

is the freakiest gentleman in the world, and did you know that he also.....

[Laindessiel]

...adapted a stray doggie just outside their village saying that he wants to take a bath with him. Eeew, fur all....

[Janine]

...silvery and smelly, and he seems to like the aroma, but he lathers him up with shampoo; then the dog jumps out of the tub and runs down the road with cream puffs flying in the air all around him as he shakes his wet fur loosely off his skinny body, looking like a....

[Laindessiel]

...drenched chick just out from playing in the rain. I'll add in a couple more wet rats and scaled dragons. Sometimes when he wags himself, he wishes to look like his doggie that ran out from the puddle of mud. (No pun intended.) Can you just imagine....

[andave_ya]

the cheek of him? I mean, every time his mother gives him a bath he goes out and...

[kathycf]

walks into museums, singing 1940's showtunes at the top of his lungs. Some people don't have the common sense to understand that....

[zanna]

showtunes are only appropriate singing material for two days of the year, and only from 3:47am to 8:29 pm the day after that! At least he . . . .

[andave_ya]

whoops, sorry, zanna got ahead of me. I'll post later.

[kathycf]

used to pull a giant moose out of his hat. I used to wonder how that large creature actually fit in there, but apparently...

(I love old musicals myself and nobody can beat Fred and Ginger for elegance, eh?) :D

[zanna]

it has to do with smoke and mirrors. (who knew?) Speaking of fantastic magicians . . .

[kathycf]

have you heard of the one who pulled pudding out of her hat instead of a rabbit? What an uproar that caused and if you believe that yarn, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn that I could sell you, so what do you say to....

[andave_ya]

coming and visiting me? I could show you...

[Riesa]

how to sell ice to eskimos and then we could head to Spain and meet that friendly bull...

[andave_ya]

who wanted to show us a book no one has ever seen, read, or heard of before called...

[ktd222]

who wanted to show us a book no one has ever seen, read, or heard of before called "An Expose On Captain Stan Before Pirating." I'd rather directly hear it from..........

[seasong]

his first mate who was lost at sea, but rumor has it that he was washed up on some tiny island in the Caribbean if we could only find him...

[andave_ya]

we could change the world! He figured out how to...

[kathycf]

walk and chew gum at the same time, which most people know is very challenging. Then of course that raises the ethical question of....

[zanna]

whether subjecting passersby to your gum chewing is considerate or not. I mean, who wants to watch a cow . . .

[Reccura]

Jump in a trampoline? I mean, that would be sooooo ridiculous if it.....

[Laindessiel]

suddenly bounces out of the ring. But would you consider it funny if it fell on you instead? Hah hah! Try looking for a thing that wraps....

[andave_ya]

meat around tortillas. Or tofu if you're vegetarian. I have never seen such an amazing...

[zanna]

timpani drums! Isn't it odd that they . . .

[ktd222]

timpani drums! Isn't it odd that they(vegitarians) can be so picky about food. Why don't they just round up all the animals and.......

[andave_ya]

and banish them for all eternity! All the ones we eat for meat, anyways. Do you know...

[kathycf]

what one plus one plus 5 equals? If you didn't know, YOU would have to be banished forever and there would be no use crying about it either because....

[andave_ya]

because you'd be banished to far away places with strange sounding names that are actually not that bad to be banished to because....

[The Bookinator]

they have free coffee there. Today when I went to the mall I saw a....

[ktd222]

they have free coffee there. Today when I went to the mall I saw mall rats. The mall should definitely call the exterminator because one of those rascals looked menacing to..........

[kathycf]

to be shopping at Old Navy. Such a menance must naturally be confined to those dubious joke gift shops that one can find semi-naughty gifts at. The sort of thing one might buy for a bachelor party, but for the life of me I can't figure out what....

[Janine]

we could do with those rats; maybe stew them now that the other edible animals are going to be banished....oh yeah, those naughty gifts...I can't figure out where they are made, can you? North Pole is definitely out. So next Christmas don't ask Santa for such a thing as a ......

[euterpe]

toad pole.

Now, where did I put my husband's...

[ktd222]

Now, where did I put my husband's retainer? I know he's a little old to wear one; but to tell you the truth his overbite is not a pretty sight to look at. Why did I marry this............

[AutumnGal]

otherwise perfectly charming man with such an alarming overbite? Oh, yeah. NOW I remember. It was because of his perfectly charming...

[kathycf]

nose ring. That being said, there were many things that were downright disturbing such as....

[Redzeppelin]

his tendency to write death threats in blank verse on the backs of cocktail napkins, while also...

[Misscaroline]

humming the tune to "I Dream of Genie"... and all the while, he...

[Redzeppelin]

...keeps eyeing the leftover onion rings on the plate of the nearby Hell's Angel who has momentarily left his plate un-guarded in order to go compliment the chef; suddenly...

[ktd222]

...keeps eyeing the leftover onion rings on the plate of the nearby Hell's Angel who has momentarily left his plate un-guarded in order to go compliment the chef; suddenly a badger jumps into the scene and cofuses all the participants. Where from........

[andave_ya]

he gets up, goes outside to the costume shop next door, buys a costume, changes into it, comes back into the restaurant, and to everyone's surprise, the costume is a badger costume!! Why in the name of all that's wonderful did he....

[kathycf]

start picking his nose like that, in front of everybody? I swear, some people do not have the common sense that would be expected from a ....

[Redzeppelin]

cockroach foreclosing the local orphanage in order to set up a...

[kathycf]

one of those dodgy bank accounts, the kind that you would set up if you were a spy or something. This leads me to believe that...

[The Bookinator]

cochroaches have big nostrils. How else is he going to get that thing up there? I suddenly realized that my obscure train of thought has somehow...

[andave_ya]

led to something incredibly fun, like that...

[dramasnot6]

carnival around the corner. Only my fear of clowns has caused me to..........

[Janine]

run to the local bar and down a double of anything they had left, since I was still shaking in my boots, the ones I bought when I went to.....

[Laindessiel]

...a dumpsite and rolled myself in the dirt 'til I found those pair of boots. You can just imagine how putrid I must've smelled and the worst part is when the worm crawled up my pant leg! Sheesh! Maybe someone could...

[kathycf]

roll me in some clover, or at least a tangy bread crumb topping. For you see, I have come to the realization that....

[andave_ya]

chocolate is the only thing worth eating. I don't know who would prefer to rather have...

[zanna]

aluminum foil, when they could have chocolate! Crazy, I tell you, that boy must be . . .

[Redzeppelin]

a girl in disguise because I saw...

[zanna]

her laughing in the mirror, just like Paris Hilton does when she . . .

[kathycf]

pretends that she has some semblence of humanity. Ouch, was that a wee bit harsh? Did you know that I sometimes feel that....

[zanna]

celebrities tend to lose their humanity? Well, often . . .

[kathycf]

I see people from all walks of life picking their noses when they think nobody is watching them. Is that not one of the humblest activities? And to think that ...

[zanna]

everyone looks down upon it, yet tries to sneak it in every so often! Aren't we such . . .

[ktd222]

everyone looks down upon it, yet tries to sneak it in every so often! Aren't we such eccentric nose pickers! I say we all open up our blinds for the world to see, and pick our noses proudly while eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich.........

[kathycf]

being careful of course not to mix the nose stuff with the jam. At any rate, what do you all say to a rousing game of...

[Redzeppelin]

Twister in a field of landmines while at the same time we

[andave_ya]

Scrabble? At least we can show that we are all...

[kathycf]

twisting with twister and making long words with double letter points and all. It is very interesting when you combine them and get a "Q" on a yellow circle. This puts me in mind of an incident that happened a while ago, when....

[Redzeppelin]

we were tied up in the hull of that Russian trawler surging through the North Atlantic, wishing we had some chewing gum so that

[zanna]

we could style our hair, but all we had was . . .

[Domer121]

Jello...

I am in the mood for...

[zanna]

Glenn Miller! I'm listening to that song right now . . . it's a good one, but so is . . .

[Janine]

Diana Krall; she really swings and plays a mean piano, great vocals; love here sound.... but there are different type of music out there, something for everyone's taste, such as....

[ktd222]

Diana Krall; she really swings and plays a mean piano, great vocals; love here sound.... but there are different type of music out there, something for everyone's taste, such as the ABC Boys; their smash hit Alphabet Soup Me hit atop the charts some years ago. Their musical style blended........

[kathycf]

dressing, onions, potatoes and seasonings to make the best potato salad I have ever had. Why that reminds me of the time that...

[Virgil]

Diana Krall; she really swings and plays a mean piano, great vocals; love here sound.... but there are different type of music out there, something for everyone's taste, such as....

Hey Janine, that was your 1000th post!!!:thumbs_up Congratulations.

[Domer121]

I tried to cook...it didn't go over very well because....

[Redzeppelin]

...cats won't stay in the blender while you're...

[andave_ya]

adding dog food to the blender. They seem to think that you are...

[Laindessiel]

...a buffoon doing the monkey dance, which would be an insult to those poor apes. If only someone had the conscience of...

[Reccura]

of a zebra..... Why Zebra? Well, Zebra's like to dance and make.......

[dramasnot6]

entertaining performances. They were even offered a job playing.....

[kathycf]

the tambourine in a marching tambourine band. They declined however, simply due to the fact that...

[andave_ya]

that they play the piano...you know, black and white zebras plunking black and white keys. Their favorite tune is "Black and Blue Zebras Plunking Black and Green Keys" because...

[kathycf]

red is their favorite color, and if you think that is random...well, you got another thing coming because...

[zanna]

they have that in common with lions. They love red, of course, but . . .