Complete The Thought

[Pensive]

... rat who was trying to scare them off?

Let's talk this over, it's not like we are dead. Was it something ...

[Pendragon]

I shot you with? :D

I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and...

[AimusSage]

and swim until I drown in my own sorrow.

Wishful thinking leads to...

[Chava]

Ambitious projects.

Prolonged procrastination inspires...

[Pendragon]

one to wonder if there is any real reason to do it at all.

The man who states that he has never told a lie must never...

[amanda_isabel]

say so.

sports are...

[Hyacinth Girl]

an adult-sanctioned form of warfare.

I was planning on taking over the world, but. . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . I developed a sever aversion to contact (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noli_me_tangere), in the face of which any effort expenditure on the behalf of that goal would seem to be futile.

Ultra Moisturizing Dry Skin Healing lotion is only useful when . . .

[Shakira]

. . . . you have a dry skin.

I decided to change my wardrobe but . . . . .

[Pendragon]

I'm a nudist. :)

If the party of the first part is agreeable to the stipulations set forth by the ...

[Hyacinth Girl]

Ministry of Silly Walks, we will all watch nothing but Monty Python from now on!

When stepping foot outside one's door. . . .

[RJbibliophil]

...always be sure you have your nametag on.

I am considering...

[Pendragon]

what I came into this room for. Oh well, it'll hit me in a minute or two. Oh, yeah, my watch! :lol:

My Mama taught me that there would be days like...

[Hyacinth Girl]

today, when you feel as though you are the loose, worn-out sole attached to the shoe of a bum in Central Park that slaps the pavement, free-floats for a moment, and then reverberates with another slap as its velocity forces it to conect once more with the shoe it longs to part from.
(Wow, I think I need to go take my happy pills now! :D)

Today is the first day. . . .

[Pendragon]

I noticed why people have been laughing at me. So, am I the first guy to go to work in my pj's? :lol:

People who live in glass houses shouldn't...

[Hyacinth Girl]

get undressed at home! :lol:

One time, at band camp. . . .

[AimusSage]

I played an instrument, I never did that before.

Soon there will be guinea pigs...

[Hyacinth Girl]

on every dinner table in America!

Acromania usually occurs when . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . when a person views a particularly enticing 'Acronym Game' post.

To temporarily reduce airborne bacteria . . .

[AimusSage]

it was decided to place some strategically placed thermo nuclear bombs that would superheat the troposphere. Unfortunately it didn't just reduce the bacteria, but destroyed all live on the planet.

Oops, that wasn't...

[Pensive]

... a mistake, I figured out.

To be or not to be really ...

[Pendragon]

are we going over existionalism again? What a pain! Speaking of pain, did you feel that, Sir? :brow:


I think that I think I am therefore...

[kathycf]

a wascaly wabbit.

Take one onion, two leeks and a ....

[RobinHood3000]

...turnip. Please! ~rim shot~

Oven mitts shaped like...

[Pendragon]

gauntlets are good in the kitchen; bad on the jousting field! :rolleyes:


The Dragon opened up his large, teeth-lined mouth and...

[AimusSage]

the dentists muttered something about bad breath before proceeding with the check-up.

In space, the world seems...

[Pendragon]

rather like a large blue turnip, according to Aimus, anyway.

Darth Vader and The Emperor walk into a bar...

[Hyacinth Girl]

and join forces to take out Jar-Jar.

The Danube may be beautiful and blue, but. . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . still suffers from a lack of deep fried chicken.

This all new episode will feature . . .

[Pendragon]

every hack actor and actress we could dredge up. A new concept in Hollywood--new movies or shows starring washed up talent! A must see to believe it!

As I was crossing Boston Common...

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . I fell in love with a handsome scholar, only to find he detested Shakespeare; I immediately did what any self-respecting Ren scholar would do and made him sit through "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare: Abridged"

Some say that Starbucks is a symbol of capitalist greed, but. . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . not while they are busy sucking down their pompous, overpriced, social trend beverage things.

Chicken and rice is objectively 'better' than . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

rice and beans.
While Papayahed may be willing to consume gas station chicken strips. . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . the gas station chicken strips don't need to be reminded of that fact.

Leather bound books are only . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

one step removed from the most precious things on earth. :)

The uses for peanut butter are much underrated; for instance. . . .

[kathycf]

as a frugal alternative to face cream.

I sat down at the table and...

[AimusSage]

looked at the lovingly prepared turnip that was so fresh it could walk of my plate, and did so too!

Yesterday when the litte...

[Hyacinth Girl]

bitte (German) spider was flushed out the water spout, I felt sorry for him and transferred him to the roof he was so obviously trying to reach.

They gave me just one. . . .

[AimusSage]

flying saucer, while I clearly ordered three. Sometimes these martians can't even process a simple order.

when one is easy to please it's...

[Hyacinth Girl]

obvious by deduction that you are not Kermit the Frog, who claims "It's not easy being green"

Baltazar may have been a wise man, but. . . .

[AimusSage]

the key of the locked door could only be found by the biggest dimbwit on earth, and he was in the locked room!

To succeed is to be mentally...

[Hyacinth Girl]

hardwired to mind your p's and q's, follow all directions, and never get lost.

Taunting in true Monty Python fashion is. . . .

[AimusSage]

done by the frenchmen of castle Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh.

The chicken and the egg are two completely...

[cruciverbalist]

...delicious entities.

The Literature Forum is...

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . . a haven for those who actually READ books and like to talk about them with other interesting people.

The Latin origin of a word may. . . .

[kathycf]

not exist for a made up word like Fllarkswtwn.

When I say "jump" you had better ask...

[Hyacinth Girl]

yourself, "Why in the world would Kathy ask that, considering she can't see me . . .hmm . . .hidden agenda there. . . .probably some dastardly ploy to take over my hill!"

5 out of 10 scientists agree. . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . that the Red Sawx are still the favorites to win it all this year.

Bagels should be properly . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

adorned with lox and cream cheese before even considering consumption.

While baseball may be America's game. . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . it cannot take the place in American's hearts so fervently possesed by 'Survivor'.

Smelly socks are only detrimental when . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . exposed to heat or unleashed in a small, closed room.

"Smelly Cat", written and performed by Phoebe Buffet of Friends, is truly. . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . impressive, in the truest sense of the word.

Being a PHD can be compared to eating a . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

ice cream cone. . . employment is extremely enjoyable, but ephemeral.

Student loans, while necessary, . . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . are by no means palatable, tasty, or a worthy comestible.

Cold water may be more efficacious than . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . slapping an hysterical person, but much less satisfying.

The Muffin Man is a figure of children's literature long known for. . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . betraying that childhood innocence concerning good and honest bakery items.

Dead cacti are often . . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . placed in the beds of unwary children at summer camp in Arizona.

When riding the train. . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . the Undead usually find lots of readily available material to feed upon.

A dress on sale . . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . can make nearly anything bearable!

It's not the size of the shoe/. . . .

[Asa Adams]

but the size of the sock in the shoe....

what is wrong with the....

[Pensive]

... but the cost of the shoe which is making me not to buy it.

You will do something terrible and then ...

[Hyacinth Girl]

it will all be over and you will sleep like a baby until the FBI arrests you.

Tyromancy may be a dying art. . .

[Asa Adams]

but it is still tyromancy.....

what is tyromancy anyhow.....

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . but a foolish pastime.


what is tyromancy anyhow.....

Asa, it is the art of divining by the coagulation of cheese.

Archaic words can be so . . . .

[Pendragon]

spiffy, don't you think, 23 skiddo!

If every time my heart was broken, I ...

[Hyacinth Girl]

relocated to a different country, I'd have lived all over the world by now.

If I decided to binge on shoes instead of books. . . .

[kathycf]

I would have shoes coming out my ears.

A dastardly ploy by any other name is... ;)

[ShoutGrace]

. . . a radically shifted concept, which soon comes to represent the most wholesome intentions.

Chewing on your hair . . .

[Weeping Willow]

will not help making dreadlocks!

When i'll have Dreadlocks...

[Pendragon]

I'll post a picture!

If my hair would grow long enough for Dreadlocks without bushing out everywhere...

[RJbibliophil]

...you will get them!

Let the mods decree that any forum member with dreadlocks...

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . is hereby banned from posting anything about Bob Marley, his lyrics or otherwise, on the Lit Net.

While dreadlocks may be the latest Lit Net craze. . .

[Pendragon]

I see little pictorial evidence to support it.

Ah, Dreadlocks, Dreadlocks, let down your...

[RJbibliophil]

...hair, and all the forum members will cling to you.

Why O'Dreadlocks...

[Miss Darcy]

....is so feared!

Did you say........

[kathycf]

that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar?

Wasn't it Helen of Troy that had a face that launched a thousand...

[Miss Darcy]

...peacocks into the air?

Who says that Hell is...

[Shakira]

...ruled by Satan . . .I'm the ruler.

If I am Satan then . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . icecream must taste like rubber glue because that stuff don't make no sense.


If rubber glue is tasty then . . . .

[Pendragon]

rubber probably tastes like SPAM! :lol:

Do you ever wonder exactly what sort of "animal parts" they put in...

[kathycf]

ShoutGrace's special "animal parts stew"?

Who says humanity is going to ....

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . actually manage to preserve the world for another thousand years is sadly delusional.
Trix may be for kids, but. . . .

[Pendragon]

rabbits make wonderful pets!

Why do people always say "With all due respect" when you just know...

[Hyacinth Girl]

that they would really like to hand the person their own personal "LOSER" sign!

Ipanema Beach is very nice this year. . . .

(BTW, how did you find out about my alter ego, Pen?) :wink:

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . partly due to the half naked native girls, and partly due to the torrential rainstorms.


Getting lost in the mountains . . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . can be a fortuitous occurence, especially if one had already considered a vision quest.

The smell of Elmer's paste reminds me. . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . of my wilder days spent as an elementary school 'drug' dealer. "Hey kid, want some paste? It'll cost ya a quarter."


Resting your feet isn't prudent . . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

when you are sitting above a tank full of freakin' sharks with freakin' laser beams on their freakin' heads!

As a sidekick, Mr. Bigglesworth. . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . sure looked constipated a lot more than others have in the past.


Mojo doesn't matter if . . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

a dread femmebot is shooting at you through her bustier.

The Mini Cooper. . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . reminds me of a slightly retarded terrier pooch.


Dogs are friendly . . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

but sometimes TOO friendly, if you know what I mean. (No, no grundel)

Cats, on the other hand,

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . have no problem either looking peeved or licking their own rectums.


Why can't cats just . . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

get along with everyone and quit peeing on people's things?

It was a sad day when Brylcreme. . . .

[kathycf]

decided a little dab wouldn't, in fact, do ya.

Once there was a girl named Hyacinth Girl and she...

[Shakira]

... was really intelligent.

The girl named Shakira is . . .

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . .absolutely FABULOUS, dahhhling.

When the phone keeps ringing. . . .

[Pendragon]

the answering machine is, like, broken, man!

Why do we get answering machines to screen our calls when we have...

[Hyacinth Girl]

caller ID??? Helleeeeewwwww!!

While some employers might object to playing games on LitNet at work. . . .

[Weeping Willow]

we the workers don't care!

When making a sandwich you always must....

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . be sure to cut the crusts off.

When I was young and easy. . .

[Shakira]

...I was too careless.

When I'll be old . . .

[Birdy123]

.... i'll be telling anyone who will listen about how it was all different back in my day :D
When i'm dead...................

[Shakira]

...I'll haunt the next poster. :D :brow:

When I'll haunt the next poster . . .

[Pendragon]

he or she will know the true meaning of the word "fear"!

The night was dark and gloomy and a slight mist rolled over...

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . the darkened plain where the beast waited patiently, ready to devour the lone traveller making his way along the dismal path that skirted the gorse-engorged moor.

(too much Wilkie Collins)

Victorian novels may indeed. . . .

[kathycf]

lead one down the road to hell, just like good intentions.

Sailing, sailing over the oceans.....

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . brilliant blue waves makes one extremely seasick.
While projectile vomiting may be a useful skill. . . .

[kathycf]

it will never get you a date.

Someday, when I am very rich...

[Hyacinth Girl]

I shall get tooth implants instead of plain old dentures. :D

(Hiya Kathy!:wave: )

Silver tarnishes. . . .

[kathycf]

when I make bullets out of it to shoot people who say I have dentures.

You reap what you shall sow, so what you sow had better...



Hiyas Hyacinth! :wave:

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . be extremely entertaining or you will be bored to death later on!

The term "dog-days of summer" derives from. . . .

[kathycf]

the fact that dogs love to lay around, basking in the sun. At least my dog does.

"Are you ready for the summer?" is a line from the movie...

[Hyacinth Girl]

American Pie 2

Picture frames have many uses. . . .

[kathycf]

110,000,793, to be exact.

They say a watched pot never....

[Hyacinth Girl]

cooks anything that tastes remotely good.

The mysterious "they" . . .

[Pendragon]

seem to think "they" know everything!

When two people fall in love they usually...

[Shakira]

...break-off.

When in love fools . . .

[Pendragon]

rush in where angels know better! :nod:


The road to hell is paved with...

[RobinHood3000]

...broken glass. Best to start early, you know.

The F-14...

[kathycf]

was the name my parents originally wished to name me.

Not last night, but the night before...

[Pendragon]

four and twenty robbers came a-knocking at my door!

If Moses supposes his toes are roses, then Moses...

[kathycf]

should surely study biology AND botany.

Jam is to jelly as hammers are to....

[RobinHood3000]

...pianos. They're all fun to drop on people.


Crime is to Punishment as War is to...

[kathycf]

curtain rods.

Just a spoonful of sugar makes the...

[pqb57]

misinformed.

Why can't they be

[literaturerocks]

more like the dancing :banana:

now where did i put my...

[Asa Adams]

split.....they taste nice.

[Sessrin]

confused????????? does not make sense

continuing on ...now where did I put my...dish, it ran off again (hey diddle diddle)

If babies come from storks, where do Trees come from...

[literaturerocks]

toucans

the one thing everyone has in common is....

[Hyacinth Girl]

a brain, one hopes.

Heavens defend us. . . . .

[alshadai]

...from the temptation of reality.

We are not grand to the universe...

[Hyacinth Girl]

but we are grand in our own little minds.

An apple a day. . .

[alshadai]

...might hurt your gums so please brush with Colgate!
(couldn't resist!)
...keeps the doctor away ;)

To err is human...

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . . and some people are much more human than others.

I wish I were. . .

[thingamajig]

more ME!!!

I'm dreaming of

[alshadai]

...not being at work right now.

In a perfect world...

[thingamajig]

You will never have to work and go to school!!!!!

Dream a dream for......

[RJbibliophil]

...me, my heart is too weary for sleep.

If only...

[Shakira]

....I could turn back time.

If I could turn back time I'd . . .

[Pendragon]

probably just make the same mistakes all over again! :nod:

Time is like an ememy, it advances ...

[Hyacinth Girl]

. . .upon you and gives no quarter.

When all is said and done,. . . .

[RobinHood3000]

...it gets really quiet.

Spaghetti and badgers...

[Haler]

taste best with merlot.

Listening to someone complain is......

[kathycf]

like a squeaky door...."Creeeaaaak"

Take one cup sugar, two cups flour and....

[RobinHood3000]

...throw it over your shoulder for good luck.


Batteries are useful most when...

[kathycf]

adorning a birthday cake.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear....

[Pendragon]

that's what I've heard, though he had no hair, and was hooked on rogain! :lol:

I'll be frank: unless you do, you'll walk the plank, the choice is...

[thevintagepiper]

...to stick to your diet or not.

If tomorrow I should sink...

[Hyacinth Girl]

to the depths of depravity, only my mother would mourn. :lol:
Cream cheese has many unusual uses, such as. . .

[Outlander]

....sticking my Capt'n Jack poster to the wall.

My hands go numb when....

[Hyacinth Girl]

I've had them around my employer's neck for an extended period of time. :D

The Thane of Fife, he. . . .

[kathycf]

got run over by a train.

Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed, poor moutaineer barely....

[Pendragon]

could git up an' outta bed. ;)

We're off to see the Wizard...

[thevintagepiper]

....the gnarly old wizard of trees...

Life is terrible when you're dancing up....

[RJbibliophil]

...glass mountains.

Playgrounds should...

[Hyacinth Girl]

always provide bark for you to eat when you fall off the monkey bars.

When I sit and contemplate the universe. . .

[AimusSage]

it always looks away, I guess the universe is shy, sometimes it tells me not to look at it, with a soft shy voice.

When the antz where locked in they...

[Hyacinth Girl]

immediately held a conference as to the next course of action, rounded up all the troops, and managed to break their way out with a battering stalk.
If bitten by a rabid animal. . .

[kathycf]

the best course of action shoud be to bite back.

Once when I saw Barbara Walters on TV....

[Pendragon]

I realized that I had the wrong channel again, so I took my remote, aimed carefully, and changed that channel! You gotta be a man about it sometimes!

If the moon were actually made of green cheese...

[kathycf]

I wonder if you would need green crackers.

Life is a bowl of cherries, but you must watch out for the ...

[AimusSage]

...cherry thiefs, or you might find that one day when you wake up you are missing a leg, taken by the cherry thiefs that took a few cherries from your bowl.

Godzilla and the powerrangers where having a...

[kathycf]

tea party.

When suddenly Godzilla turned and said (bellowed?)....

[AimusSage]

Do you guys want another cup of tea?

The power rangers, having an important superboss fight in a few minutes said:...

[Pendragon]

"Well, better get ready, guys. Here comes some lame special effects again!"

Sherlock Holmes raised the piece of bloody pipe to within a inch of his eye and shouted...

[kathycf]

"Wow, do I ever need a manicure!"

If olive oil is made from olives, then baby oil must be...

[thevintagepiper]

....made from baby drool.


Web cams are annoying, yet save....

[ShoutGrace]

. . . the hassle of finding something constructive to do with your time.


Ovens are practical, but toasters . . . .

[kathycf]

are the root cause of most at home accidents.

Last night, I saw the most amazing...

[ShoutGrace]

. . . toe fungus; it was blue and smelled like rotten milk.

Running four fans in your room at once . . .

[kathycf]

might be akin to overkill.

It was so hot today, I could almost fry an egg on the...

[thevintagepiper]

...inside of the washing machine.

Skiing indoors is like....

[ShoutGrace]

. . . wetting the bed; it's kind of a waste of time.

When sweat interferes with your typing . . .

[kathycf]

you need to get a moisture proof keyboard.

May I offer you a cool beverage, such as....

[thevintagepiper]

....just be glad you aren't getting frostbite.

How the obese matron likes to think is rather unseemly in.....

[Pendragon]

matters of apparel. You simply cannot force ten pounds of mud into a five pound sack!

I think I'll walk down to the graveyard tonight, as there is ...

[kathycf]

bound to be some nice ghosts haunting the place.

I need a nice hot cup of....

[Kelly_Sprout]

...used motor oil.

The only thing visible from the cockpit of the plane...

[RobinHood3000]

...was the green and brown "sky."

Sausage and pepperoni go...

[Kelly_Sprout]

...to the movies.

Smile, you're on...

[Pendragon]

the video cam in my police car, buddy! Care to repeat that last remark again?

The Judge looked down sternly at the trembling defendant before he...

[Kelly_Sprout]

...tossed a marshmallow into the defendant's mouth.

Nothing beats the opportunities available in...

[thevintagepiper]

....the magical land of Kalamazoo.


Where strange music dwells, there....

[Hyacinth Girl]

....dwell I.

When the banana companies came. . . .

[thevintagepiper]

....all the sane people disappeared.


If I never were to sing, I would...

[kathycf]

have to take up yodeling.

"Peel me a grape" she said and....

[thevintagepiper]

....immediately fainted.

However, the crook was decidedly....

[Kelly_Sprout]

...straight.


Be careful you don't...

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . fall into an open sewer and die.

Papercuts sting, but . . . .

[Kelly_Sprout]

...children blame wasps.


Yesterday, I drove...

[literaturerocks]

down to the courthouse to watch the judge throw a marshmellow into the defendants mouth.

i dont climb trees anymore because...

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . a wrinkly old woman told me that I'd get gonnorhea if I did.

Thinking about moving glaciers is similar to . . . .

[Pendragon]

worrying about a few drops of rain prior to falling into the lake! :D



Wait a minute? Didn't this glacier used to be...

[kathycf]

a bank robber on the scale of Bonnie and Clyde.

There was an old woman who...

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . couldn't keep her hands to herself; no compunction was felt at the issuance of her very public admonition.


I fall upon the thorns of life . . . .

[Pendragon]

and I can tell you, a bed of roses is no picnic!

She was a fishmonger and it was no wonder, for ...

[RobinHood3000]

...her father was a fishmonger before her, making her the proverbial fishmonger's daughter. Hubba hubba :brow:.

Zip zip...

[kathycf]

is a commonly used way to compress or archive computer files.

Zing zing....

[AimusSage]

Along, zaid ze German from Bavaria.

Folly the follower is...

[kathycf]

too big for his britches.

Great green gobs of...



:wave: Hi Aimus!

[AimusSage]

watery goo make up a fine breakfast for people without proper dental care.

Soon a change of hearth will...

Hi Kathy :wave:

[kathycf]

make all the other hearths jealous.

"Fiddle dee dee", she said and then...

[AimusSage]

she fell down the chimney, into the newly placed hearth.

Whatever happens, don't...

[kathycf]

say anything about okra.

Rutabagas are an often overlooked root vegetable because...

[AimusSage]

they are swede!

No turnip goes overlooked when...

[kathycf]

Aimus comes to town.

One for the money, two for the show. Three to get....

[AimusSage]

completely undrunk on an overpriced watered down beer.

Good Grace permits the use of...

[kathycf]

a mirror to review one's clothing before subjecting the general public with it. :brow:

Sweet dreams of....

[AimusSage]

being a sleep in the night are very pleasing.

Failure to communicate leads to...

[kathycf]

all sorts of unpleasant things, including foot fungus.

Tea for two and two for...

[AimusSage]

one make a poor british musketeering duo.

To set the controls properly one must...

[kathycf]

cross one's fingers, and loudly shout out "Hook, line and sinker!"

The road less travelled is usually...

[AimusSage]

The one where you will get mugged, robbed and killed.

What you tell me now is...

[literaturerocks]

what lies on the more travelled path.

what lies on the more travelled path is.....

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . trampled underfoot to no end.

Eating hard bread is similar to . . . .

[Pendragon]

a baby eating Zwieback, only it makes your teeth fall OUT, not GROW!


Avaunt, spirit! Haunt me no more, for I...

[AimusSage]

have terrible breath, and I'd hate to infect you with it.

They stood up for...

[Haler]

their butts were sore from sitting.

You must breathe in before you can...

[Hyacinth Girl]

possibly choke on the water coming in through your scuba gear.

Man was not meant. . . . .

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . to either put the chicken back in the eggs or dip his hamburger in milk. Sick!

Scales are only useful if . . . .

[kathycf]

you bounce them on trampolines.

Oh, dear...I have to answer the...

[ShoutGrace]

incessant demands of your debilitatingly overactive bladder.

Drinking purifed water can be considered . . . .

[kathycf]

unsatisfactory as a cologne.

One two buckle my....

[Kelly_Sprout]

...corrigated cardboard.

A nickle ain't worth a...

[Riesa]

quarter, I tell ya!

Some people squeeze their toothpaste tubes, but personally I like to...

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . arrange my toothpaste tubes in scandalous positions and photograph them. :D


Roping a calf is easier than . . . .

[Pendragon]

than trying to rope a jackrabbit, for instance. ;)

Desperado, why don't you...

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . compensate the young lady who just wrote that moving epic about you.


Tuning a guitar becomes much more difficult when . . . .

[RJbibliophil]

...you have to do it by ear.

Why should guitars be tuned and not...

[ShoutGrace]

. . . . used as kindling for massive bonfires such as the ones found at turnip festivals?


Cheerios are more fun to eat than . . . .

[Kelly_Sprout]

...to play "ring the bottle" with, although they are more fun as frisbees than they are to eat.

I refuse to answer on the grounds...

[Hyacinth Girl]

that you are not a confirmed turniper!

When fly fishing, always remember . . .

[AimusSage]

that fish don't fly, and neither should you.

When riding home from work always...

[Hyacinth Girl]

rock out in your car to electronica and do your best Elaine imitation - the people in neighboring cars love it!

If we hadn't used the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. . . .

[AimusSage]

We would never have been able to defeat the killer rabbit, and humanity would now be extinct.

Tim the enchanter once...

[Pendragon]

enchanted a turnip and called it Aimus!

What must we do with all these turnips that are...

[Hyacinth Girl]

threatening to take over the LitNet, Killer Tomato style?


Hamsters shouldn't. . . .

[Haler]

ever have access to a travelater, it would just kill all the joy they find in their hamster wheels.

Turnips sometimes turn up in the ....

[AimusSage]

try to create their own themepark Run Hamster, Run! (http://video.google.nl/videoplay?docid=1569125216323959688&q=hamster)

(:lol: Pen, that was funny!)

Going all out, a guinea pig can...

[Hyacinth Girl]

reach speeds of 70 miles per hour before collapsing with heart failure and falling out of their wheeliebobber. (nice video aimus!)

Candy and wingnuts. . .

[AimusSage]

both grow on trees, but the candy tree is infinitely more popular amongst little kids.

Money and a flying saucer do not make a...

[Hyacinth Girl]

NASA project, no matter what they think.

In some aboriginal tribes

[AimusSage]

the turnip is worshipped, while in others it is feared.

In the United Federation of Planetary Objects...

[Hyacinth Girl]

the US space shuttle is a laughingstock.

If East were to meet West. . .

[AimusSage]

there would be much gossiping about north and south.

One white duck and a hobbit...

[Hyacinth Girl]

are a perfect meal for a dragon.

Hairy toes. . . .

[AimusSage]

are very attractive to young hobbit girls.

On the mainscreen the commander saw that...

[Hyacinth Girl]

the Enterprise was losing power and yelled out to Scotty to engage more thrusters.

Yellow polyester should never

[AimusSage]

be used to disguise the hole in the back of a shed that was so carefully painted blue by the owner.

There are many different kind of pigs, some are...