Stanzas - On the Same Occasion

[These verses the poet, in his common-place book, calls "Misgivings in
the Hour of Despondency and Prospect of Death." He elsewhere says they
were composed when fainting-fits and other alarming symptoms of a
pleurisy, or some other dangerous disorder, first put nature on the
alarm.]

    Why am I loth to leave this earthly scene?
      How I so found it full of pleasing charms?
    Some drops of joy with draughts of ill between:
      Some gleams of sunshine 'mid renewing storms:
    Is it departing pangs my soul alarms?
      Or Death's unlovely, dreary, dark abode?
    For guilt, for guilt, my terrors are in arms;
      I tremble to approach an angry God,
    And justly smart beneath his sin-avenging rod.
    Fain would I say, "Forgive my foul offence!"
      Fain promise never more to disobey;
    But, should my Author health again dispense,
      Again I might desert fair virtue's way:
    Again in folly's path might go astray;
      Again exalt the brute and sink the man;
    Then how should I for heavenly mercy pray,
      Who act so counter heavenly mercy's plan?
    Who sin so oft have mourn'd, yet to temptation ran?
    O Thou, great Governor of all below!
      If I may dare a lifted eye to Thee,
    Thy nod can make the tempest cease to blow,
      Or still the tumult of the raging sea:
    With that controlling pow'r assist ev'n me
      Those headlong furious passions to confine;
    For all unfit I feel my pow'rs to be,
      To rule their torrent in th' allowed line;
    O, aid me with Thy help, Omnipotence Divine!