Containing some Romantic Passages between Mrs Nickleby and the
Gentleman in the Small-clothes next Door
Ever since her last momentous conversation with her son, Mrs
Nickleby had begun to display unusual care in the adornment of her
person, gradually superadding to those staid and matronly
habiliments, which had, up to that time, formed her ordinary attire,
a variety of embellishments and decorations, slight perhaps in
themselves, but, taken together, and considered with reference to
the subject of her disclosure, of no mean importance. Even her
black dress assumed something of a deadly-lively air from the jaunty
style in which it was worn; and, eked out as its lingering
attractions were; by a prudent disposal, here and there, of certain
juvenile ornaments of little or no value, which had, for that reason
alone, escaped the general wreck and been permitted to slumber
peacefully in odd corners of old drawers and boxes where daylight
seldom shone, her mourning garments assumed quite a new character.
From being the outward tokens of respect and sorrow for the dead,
they became converted into signals of very slaughterous and killing
designs upon the living.
Mrs Nickleby might have been stimulated to this proceeding by a
lofty sense of duty, and impulses of unquestionable excellence. She
might, by this time, have become impressed with the sinfulness of
long indulgence in unavailing woe, or the necessity of setting a
proper example of neatness and decorum to her blooming daughter.
Considerations of duty and responsibility apart, the change might
have taken its rise in feelings of the purest and most disinterested
charity. The gentleman next door had been vilified by Nicholas;
rudely stigmatised as a dotard and an idiot; and for these attacks
upon his understanding, Mrs Nickleby was, in some sort, accountable.
She might have felt that it was the act of a good Christian to show
by all means in her power, that the abused gentleman was neither the
one nor the other. And what better means could she adopt, towards
so virtuous and laudable an end, than proving to all men, in her own
person, that his passion was the most rational and reasonable in the
world, and just the very result, of all others, which discreet and
thinking persons might have foreseen, from her incautiously
displaying her matured charms, without reserve, under the very eye,
as it were, of an ardent and too-susceptible man?
'Ah!' said Mrs Nickleby, gravely shaking her head; 'if Nicholas knew
what his poor dear papa suffered before we were engaged, when I used
to hate him, he would have a little more feeling. Shall I ever
forget the morning I looked scornfully at him when he offered to
carry my parasol? Or that night, when I frowned at him? It was a
mercy he didn't emigrate. It very nearly drove him to it.'
Whether the deceased might not have been better off if he had
emigrated in his bachelor days, was a question which his relict did
not stop to consider; for Kate entered the room, with her workbox,
in this stage of her reflections; and a much slighter interruption,
or no interruption at all, would have diverted Mrs Nickleby's
thoughts into a new channel at any time.
'Kate, my dear,' said Mrs Nickleby; 'I don't know how it is, but a
fine warm summer day like this, with the birds singing in every
direction, always puts me in mind of roast pig, with sage and onion
sauce, and made gravy.'
'That's a curious association of ideas, is it not, mama?'
'Upon my word, my dear, I don't know,' replied Mrs Nickleby. 'Roast
pig; let me see. On the day five weeks after you were christened,
we had a roast--no, that couldn't have been a pig, either, because I
recollect there were a pair of them to carve, and your poor papa and
I could never have thought of sitting down to two pigs--they must
have been partridges. Roast pig! I hardly think we ever could have
had one, now I come to remember, for your papa could never bear the
sight of them in the shops, and used to say that they always put him
in mind of very little babies, only the pigs had much fairer
complexions; and he had a horror of little babies, to, because he
couldn't very well afford any increase to his family, and had a
natural dislike to the subject. It's very odd now, what can have
put that in my head! I recollect dining once at Mrs Bevan's, in
that broad street round the corner by the coachmaker's, where the
tipsy man fell through the cellar-flap of an empty house nearly a
week before the quarter-day, and wasn't found till the new tenant
went in--and we had roast pig there. It must be that, I think, that
reminds me of it, especially as there was a little bird in the room
that would keep on singing all the time of dinner--at least, not a
little bird, for it was a parrot, and he didn't sing exactly, for he
talked and swore dreadfully: but I think it must be that. Indeed I
am sure it must. Shouldn't you say so, my dear?'
'I should say there was not a doubt about it, mama,' returned Kate,
with a cheerful smile.
'No; but DO you think so, Kate?' said Mrs Nickleby, with as much
gravity as if it were a question of the most imminent and thrilling
interest. 'If you don't, say so at once, you know; because it's
just as well to be correct, particularly on a point of this kind,
which is very curious and worth settling while one thinks about it.'
Kate laughingly replied that she was quite convinced; and as her
mama still appeared undetermined whether it was not absolutely
essential that the subject should be renewed, proposed that they
should take their work into the summer-house, and enjoy the beauty
of the afternoon. Mrs Nickleby readily assented, and to the summer-
house they repaired, without further discussion.
'Well, I will say,' observed Mrs Nickleby, as she took her seat,
'that there never was such a good creature as Smike. Upon my word,
the pains he has taken in putting this little arbour to rights, and
training the sweetest flowers about it, are beyond anything I could
have--I wish he wouldn't put ALL the gravel on your side, Kate, my
dear, though, and leave nothing but mould for me.'
'Dear mama,' returned Kate, hastily, 'take this seat--do--to oblige
'No, indeed, my dear. I shall keep my own side,' said Mrs Nickleby.
'Well! I declare!'
Kate looked up inquiringly.
'If he hasn't been,' said Mrs Nickleby, 'and got, from somewhere
or other, a couple of roots of those flowers that I said I was so
fond of, the other night, and asked you if you were not--no, that
YOU said YOU were so fond of, the other night, and asked me if I
wasn't--it's the same thing. Now, upon my word, I take that as very
kind and attentive indeed! I don't see,' added Mrs Nickleby,
looking narrowly about her, 'any of them on my side, but I suppose
they grow best near the gravel. You may depend upon it they do,
Kate, and that's the reason they are all near you, and he has put
the gravel there, because it's the sunny side. Upon my word, that's
very clever now! I shouldn't have had half as much thought myself!'
'Mama,' said Kate, bending over her work so that her face was
almost hidden, 'before you were married--'
'Dear me, Kate,' interrupted Mrs Nickleby, 'what in the name of
goodness graciousness makes you fly off to the time before I was
married, when I'm talking to you about his thoughtfulness and
attention to me? You don't seem to take the smallest interest in
'Oh! mama,' said Kate, raising her face again, 'you know I do.'
'Well then, my dear, why don't you praise the neatness and
prettiness with which it's kept?' said Mrs Nickleby. 'How very odd
you are, Kate!'
'I do praise it, mama,' answered Kate, gently. 'Poor fellow!'
'I scarcely ever hear you, my dear,' retorted Mrs Nickleby; 'that's
all I've got to say.' By this time the good lady had been a long
while upon one topic, so she fell at once into her daughter's little
trap, if trap it were, and inquired what she had been going to say.
'About what, mama?' said Kate, who had apparently quite forgotten
'Lor, Kate, my dear,' returned her mother, 'why, you're asleep or
stupid! About the time before I was married.'
'Oh yes!' said Kate, 'I remember. I was going to ask, mama, before
you were married, had you many suitors?'
'Suitors, my dear!' cried Mrs Nickleby, with a smile of wonderful
complacency. 'First and last, Kate, I must have had a dozen at
'Mama!' returned Kate, in a tone of remonstrance.
'I had indeed, my dear,' said Mrs Nickleby; 'not including your poor
papa, or a young gentleman who used to go, at that time, to the same
dancing school, and who WOULD send gold watches and bracelets to our
house in gilt-edged paper, (which were always returned,) and who
afterwards unfortunately went out to Botany Bay in a cadet ship--a
convict ship I mean--and escaped into a bush and killed sheep, (I
don't know how they got there,) and was going to be hung, only he
accidentally choked himself, and the government pardoned him. Then
there was young Lukin,' said Mrs Nickleby, beginning with her left
thumb and checking off the names on her fingers--'Mogley--Tipslark--
Having now reached her little finger, Mrs Nickleby was carrying the
account over to the other hand, when a loud 'Hem!' which appeared to
come from the very foundation of the garden-wall, gave both herself
and her daughter a violent start.
'Mama! what was that?' said Kate, in a low tone of voice.
'Upon my word, my dear,' returned Mrs Nickleby, considerably
startled, 'unless it was the gentleman belonging to the next house,
I don't know what it could possibly--'
'A--hem!' cried the same voice; and that, not in the tone of an
ordinary clearing of the throat, but in a kind of bellow, which woke
up all the echoes in the neighbourhood, and was prolonged to an
extent which must have made the unseen bellower quite black in the
'I understand it now, my dear,' said Mrs Nickleby, laying her hand
on Kate's; 'don't be alarmed, my love, it's not directed to you, and
is not intended to frighten anybody. Let us give everybody their
due, Kate; I am bound to say that.'
So saying, Mrs Nickleby nodded her head, and patted the back of her
daughter's hand, a great many times, and looked as if she could tell
something vastly important if she chose, but had self-denial, thank
Heaven; and wouldn't do it.
'What do you mean, mama?' demanded Kate, in evident surprise.
'Don't be flurried, my dear,' replied Mrs Nickleby, looking towards
the garden-wall, 'for you see I'm not, and if it would be excusable
in anybody to be flurried, it certainly would--under all the
circumstances--be excusable in me, but I am not, Kate--not at all.'
'It seems designed to attract our attention, mama,' said Kate.
'It is designed to attract our attention, my dear; at least,'
rejoined Mrs Nickleby, drawing herself up, and patting her
daughter's hand more blandly than before, 'to attract the attention
of one of us. Hem! you needn't be at all uneasy, my dear.'
Kate looked very much perplexed, and was apparently about to ask for
further explanation, when a shouting and scuffling noise, as of an
elderly gentleman whooping, and kicking up his legs on loose gravel,
with great violence, was heard to proceed from the same direction as
the former sounds; and before they had subsided, a large cucumber
was seen to shoot up in the air with the velocity of a sky-rocket,
whence it descended, tumbling over and over, until it fell at Mrs
This remarkable appearance was succeeded by another of a precisely
similar description; then a fine vegetable marrow, of unusually
large dimensions, was seen to whirl aloft, and come toppling down;
then, several cucumbers shot up together; and, finally, the air was
darkened by a shower of onions, turnip-radishes, and other small
vegetables, which fell rolling and scattering, and bumping about, in
As Kate rose from her seat, in some alarm, and caught her mother's
hand to run with her into the house, she felt herself rather
retarded than assisted in her intention; and following the direction
of Mrs Nickleby's eyes, was quite terrified by the apparition of an
old black velvet cap, which, by slow degrees, as if its wearer were
ascending a ladder or pair of steps, rose above the wall dividing
their garden from that of the next cottage, (which, like their own,
was a detached building,) and was gradually followed by a very large
head, and an old face, in which were a pair of most extraordinary
grey eyes: very wild, very wide open, and rolling in their sockets,
with a dull, languishing, leering look, most ugly to behold.
'Mama!' cried Kate, really terrified for the moment, 'why do you
stop, why do you lose an instant? Mama, pray come in!'
'Kate, my dear,' returned her mother, still holding back, 'how can
you be so foolish? I'm ashamed of you. How do you suppose you are
ever to get through life, if you're such a coward as this? What do
you want, sir?' said Mrs Nickleby, addressing the intruder with a
sort of simpering displeasure. 'How dare you look into this
'Queen of my soul,' replied the stranger, folding his hands
together, 'this goblet sip!'
'Nonsense, sir,' said Mrs Nickleby. 'Kate, my love, pray be quiet.'
'Won't you sip the goblet?' urged the stranger, with his head
imploringly on one side, and his right hand on his breast. 'Oh, do
sip the goblet!'
'I shall not consent to do anything of the kind, sir,' said Mrs
Nickleby. 'Pray, begone.'
'Why is it,' said the old gentleman, coming up a step higher, and
leaning his elbows on the wall, with as much complacency as if he
were looking out of window, 'why is it that beauty is always
obdurate, even when admiration is as honourable and respectful as
mine?' Here he smiled, kissed his hand, and made several low bows.
'Is it owing to the bees, who, when the honey season is over, and
they are supposed to have been killed with brimstone, in reality fly
to Barbary and lull the captive Moors to sleep with their drowsy
songs? Or is it,' he added, dropping his voice almost to a whisper,
'in consequence of the statue at Charing Cross having been lately
seen, on the Stock Exchange at midnight, walking arm-in-arm with the
Pump from Aldgate, in a riding-habit?'
'Mama,' murmured Kate, 'do you hear him?'
'Hush, my dear!' replied Mrs Nickleby, in the same tone of voice,
'he is very polite, and I think that was a quotation from the poets.
Pray, don't worry me so--you'll pinch my arm black and blue. Go
'Quite away?' said the gentleman, with a languishing look. 'Oh!
'Yes,' returned Mrs Nickleby, 'certainly. You have no business
here. This is private property, sir; you ought to know that.'
'I do know,' said the old gentleman, laying his finger on his nose,
with an air of familiarity, most reprehensible, 'that this is a
sacred and enchanted spot, where the most divine charms'--here he
kissed his hand and bowed again--'waft mellifluousness over the
neighbours' gardens, and force the fruit and vegetables into
premature existence. That fact I am acquainted with. But will you
permit me, fairest creature, to ask you one question, in the absence
of the planet Venus, who has gone on business to the Horse Guards,
and would otherwise--jealous of your superior charms--interpose
'Kate,' observed Mrs Nickleby, turning to her daughter, 'it's very
awkward, positively. I really don't know what to say to this
gentleman. One ought to be civil, you know.'
'Dear mama,' rejoined Kate, 'don't say a word to him, but let us
run away as fast as we can, and shut ourselves up till Nicholas
Mrs Nickleby looked very grand, not to say contemptuous, at this
humiliating proposal; and, turning to the old gentleman, who had
watched them during these whispers with absorbing eagerness, said:
'If you will conduct yourself, sir, like the gentleman I should
imagine you to be, from your language and--and--appearance, (quite
the counterpart of your grandpapa, Kate, my dear, in his best days,)
and will put your question to me in plain words, I will answer it.'
If Mrs Nickleby's excellent papa had borne, in his best days, a
resemblance to the neighbour now looking over the wall, he must have
been, to say the least, a very queer-looking old gentleman in his
prime. Perhaps Kate thought so, for she ventured to glance at his
living portrait with some attention, as he took off his black velvet
cap, and, exhibiting a perfectly bald head, made a long series of
bows, each accompanied with a fresh kiss of the hand. After
exhausting himself, to all appearance, with this fatiguing
performance, he covered his head once more, pulled the cap very
carefully over the tips of his ears, and resuming his former
'The question is--'
Here he broke off to look round in every direction, and satisfy
himself beyond all doubt that there were no listeners near. Assured
that there were not, he tapped his nose several times, accompanying
the action with a cunning look, as though congratulating himself on
his caution; and stretching out his neck, said in a loud whisper,
'Are you a princess?'
'You are mocking me, sir,' replied Mrs Nickleby, making a feint of
retreating towards the house.
'No, but are you?' said the old gentleman.
'You know I am not, sir,' replied Mrs Nickleby.
'Then are you any relation to the Archbishop of Canterbury?'
inquired the old gentleman with great anxiety, 'or to the Pope of
Rome? Or the Speaker of the House of Commons? Forgive me, if I am
wrong, but I was told you were niece to the Commissioners of Paving,
and daughter-in-law to the Lord Mayor and Court of Common Council,
which would account for your relationship to all three.'
'Whoever has spread such reports, sir,' returned Mrs Nickleby, with
some warmth, 'has taken great liberties with my name, and one which
I am sure my son Nicholas, if he was aware of it, would not allow
for an instant. The idea!' said Mrs Nickleby, drawing herself up,
'niece to the Commissioners of Paving!'
'Pray, mama, come away!' whispered Kate.
'"Pray mama!" Nonsense, Kate,' said Mrs Nickleby, angrily, 'but
that's just the way. If they had said I was niece to a piping
bullfinch, what would you care? But I have no sympathy,' whimpered
Mrs Nickleby. 'I don't expect it, that's one thing.'
'Tears!' cried the old gentleman, with such an energetic jump, that
he fell down two or three steps and grated his chin against the
wall. 'Catch the crystal globules--catch 'em--bottle 'em up--cork
'em tight--put sealing wax on the top--seal 'em with a cupid--label
'em "Best quality"--and stow 'em away in the fourteen binn, with a
bar of iron on the top to keep the thunder off!'
Issuing these commands, as if there were a dozen attendants all
actively engaged in their execution, he turned his velvet cap inside
out, put it on with great dignity so as to obscure his right eye and
three-fourths of his nose, and sticking his arms a-kimbo, looked
very fiercely at a sparrow hard by, till the bird flew away, when he
put his cap in his pocket with an air of great satisfaction, and
addressed himself with respectful demeanour to Mrs Nickleby.
'Beautiful madam,' such were his words, 'if I have made any mistake
with regard to your family or connections, I humbly beseech you to
pardon me. If I supposed you to be related to Foreign Powers or
Native Boards, it is because you have a manner, a carriage, a
dignity, which you will excuse my saying that none but yourself
(with the single exception perhaps of the tragic muse, when playing
extemporaneously on the barrel organ before the East India Company)
can parallel. I am not a youth, ma'am, as you see; and although
beings like you can never grow old, I venture to presume that we are
fitted for each other.'
'Really, Kate, my love!' said Mrs Nickleby faintly, and looking
'I have estates, ma'am,' said the old gentleman, flourishing his
right hand negligently, as if he made very light of such matters,
and speaking very fast; 'jewels, lighthouses, fish-ponds, a whalery
of my own in the North Sea, and several oyster-beds of great profit
in the Pacific Ocean. If you will have the kindness to step down to
the Royal Exchange and to take the cocked-hat off the stoutest
beadle's head, you will find my card in the lining of the crown,
wrapped up in a piece of blue paper. My walking-stick is also to be
seen on application to the chaplain of the House of Commons, who is
strictly forbidden to take any money for showing it. I have enemies
about me, ma'am,' he looked towards his house and spoke very low,
'who attack me on all occasions, and wish to secure my property. If
you bless me with your hand and heart, you can apply to the Lord
Chancellor or call out the military if necessary--sending my
toothpick to the commander-in-chief will be sufficient--and so clear
the house of them before the ceremony is performed. After that,
love, bliss and rapture; rapture, love and bliss. Be mine, be mine!'
Repeating these last words with great rapture and enthusiasm, the
old gentleman put on his black velvet cap again, and looking up into
the sky in a hasty manner, said something that was not quite
intelligible concerning a balloon he expected, and which was rather
after its time.
'Be mine, be mine!' repeated the old gentleman.
'Kate, my dear,' said Mrs Nickleby, 'I have hardly the power to
speak; but it is necessary for the happiness of all parties that
this matter should be set at rest for ever.'
'Surely there is no necessity for you to say one word, mama?'
'You will allow me, my dear, if you please, to judge for myself,'
said Mrs Nickleby.
'Be mine, be mine!' cried the old gentleman.
'It can scarcely be expected, sir,' said Mrs Nickleby, fixing her
eyes modestly on the ground, 'that I should tell a stranger whether
I feel flattered and obliged by such proposals, or not. They
certainly are made under very singular circumstances; still at the
same time, as far as it goes, and to a certain extent of course'
(Mrs Nickleby's customary qualification), 'they must be gratifying
and agreeable to one's feelings.'
'Be mine, be mine,' cried the old gentleman. 'Gog and Magog, Gog
and Magog. Be mine, be mine!'
'It will be sufficient for me to say, sir,' resumed Mrs Nickleby,
with perfect seriousness--'and I'm sure you'll see the propriety of
taking an answer and going away--that I have made up my mind to
remain a widow, and to devote myself to my children. You may not
suppose I am the mother of two children--indeed many people have
doubted it, and said that nothing on earth could ever make 'em
believe it possible--but it is the case, and they are both grown up.
We shall be very glad to have you for a neighbour--very glad;
delighted, I'm sure--but in any other character it's quite
impossible, quite. As to my being young enough to marry again, that
perhaps may be so, or it may not be; but I couldn't think of it for
an instant, not on any account whatever. I said I never would, and
I never will. It's a very painful thing to have to reject
proposals, and I would much rather that none were made; at the same
time this is the answer that I determined long ago to make, and this
is the answer I shall always give.'
These observations were partly addressed to the old gentleman,
partly to Kate, and partly delivered in soliloquy. Towards their
conclusion, the suitor evinced a very irreverent degree of
inattention, and Mrs Nickleby had scarcely finished speaking, when,
to the great terror both of that lady and her daughter, he suddenly
flung off his coat, and springing on the top of the wall, threw
himself into an attitude which displayed his small-clothes and grey
worsteds to the fullest advantage, and concluded by standing on one
leg, and repeating his favourite bellow with increased vehemence.
While he was still dwelling on the last note, and embellishing it
with a prolonged flourish, a dirty hand was observed to glide
stealthily and swiftly along the top of the wall, as if in pursuit
of a fly, and then to clasp with the utmost dexterity one of the old
gentleman's ankles. This done, the companion hand appeared, and
clasped the other ankle.
Thus encumbered the old gentleman lifted his legs awkwardly once or
twice, as if they were very clumsy and imperfect pieces of
machinery, and then looking down on his own side of the wall, burst
into a loud laugh.
'It's you, is it?' said the old gentleman.
'Yes, it's me,' replied a gruff voice.
'How's the Emperor of Tartary?' said the old gentleman.
'Oh! he's much the same as usual,' was the reply. 'No better and no
'The young Prince of China,' said the old gentleman, with much
interest. 'Is he reconciled to his father-in-law, the great potato
'No,' answered the gruff voice; 'and he says he never will be,
'If that's the case,' observed the old gentleman, 'perhaps I'd
better come down.'
'Well,' said the man on the other side, 'I think you had, perhaps.'
One of the hands being then cautiously unclasped, the old gentleman
dropped into a sitting posture, and was looking round to smile and
bow to Mrs Nickleby, when he disappeared with some precipitation, as
if his legs had been pulled from below.
Very much relieved by his disappearance, Kate was turning to speak
to her mama, when the dirty hands again became visible, and were
immediately followed by the figure of a coarse squat man, who
ascended by the steps which had been recently occupied by their
'Beg your pardon, ladies,' said this new comer, grinning and
touching his hat. 'Has he been making love to either of you?'
'Yes,' said Kate.
'Ah!' rejoined the man, taking his handkerchief out of his hat and
wiping his face, 'he always will, you know. Nothing will prevent
his making love.'
'I need not ask you if he is out of his mind, poor creature,' said
'Why no,' replied the man, looking into his hat, throwing his
handkerchief in at one dab, and putting it on again. 'That's pretty
plain, that is.'
'Has he been long so?' asked Kate.
'A long while.'
'And is there no hope for him?' said Kate, compassionately
'Not a bit, and don't deserve to be,' replied the keeper. 'He's a
deal pleasanter without his senses than with 'em. He was the
cruellest, wickedest, out-and-outerest old flint that ever drawed
'Indeed!' said Kate.
'By George!' replied the keeper, shaking his head so emphatically
that he was obliged to frown to keep his hat on. 'I never come
across such a vagabond, and my mate says the same. Broke his poor
wife's heart, turned his daughters out of doors, drove his sons into
the streets; it was a blessing he went mad at last, through evil
tempers, and covetousness, and selfishness, and guzzling, and
drinking, or he'd have drove many others so. Hope for HIM, an old
rip! There isn't too much hope going' but I'll bet a crown that
what there is, is saved for more deserving chaps than him, anyhow.'
With which confession of his faith, the keeper shook his head again,
as much as to say that nothing short of this would do, if things
were to go on at all; and touching his hat sulkily--not that he was
in an ill humour, but that his subject ruffled him--descended the
ladder, and took it away.
During this conversation, Mrs Nickleby had regarded the man with a
severe and steadfast look. She now heaved a profound sigh, and
pursing up her lips, shook her head in a slow and doubtful manner.
'Poor creature!' said Kate.
'Ah! poor indeed!' rejoined Mrs Nickleby. 'It's shameful that such
things should be allowed. Shameful!'
'How can they be helped, mama?' said Kate, mournfully. 'The
infirmities of nature--'
'Nature!' said Mrs Nickleby. 'What! Do YOU suppose this poor
gentleman is out of his mind?'
'Can anybody who sees him entertain any other opinion, mama?'
'Why then, I just tell you this, Kate,' returned Mrs Nickleby,
'that, he is nothing of the kind, and I am surprised you can be so
imposed upon. It's some plot of these people to possess themselves
of his property--didn't he say so himself? He may be a little odd
and flighty, perhaps, many of us are that; but downright mad! and
express himself as he does, respectfully, and in quite poetical
language, and making offers with so much thought, and care, and
prudence--not as if he ran into the streets, and went down upon his
knees to the first chit of a girl he met, as a madman would! No,
no, Kate, there's a great deal too much method in HIS madness;
depend upon that, my dear.'