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HEATED SEATS TOO MUCH FOR HOMER TO HANDLE

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From: Roanoke Times & World News
Date: 20030331
Author:BEN BEAGLE

I have to report this morning that I feel pretty good because I got a letter from Homer after months of checking out the mailbox in vain. You know. Like Charlie Brown waiting for a valentine from the little red-haired girl or anybody.

In case you've forgotten, Homer used to send me these hand- written letters that made no sense at all. But they were fan mail and I didn't care whether they made sense or not.

The thing is that Homer is beginning to make sense.

He wrote, in his kind of spidery hand:

"Dear Mr. Beagle:

"I am in the market for a sport utility vehicle. I would like a big one, but a ...

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