Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

[Calidore]

Parachute: To fire a gun twice

Wastebasket

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Wastebasket: slang verb used to describe parachuting, i.e., "I'm gonna wastebasket this muthaf**ka!" Term may derive from basket used to catch severed heads during the Reign of Terror.

Onion bagel with creamed cheese:

[Pendragon]

Pendragon, was that 'disingenuous' remark aimed at me?

Dirk Gently:

No, no. It is the real definition of the word. Not aimed at anyone.

Onion bagel with creamed cheese: The true cause of morning breath

Virgule:

[Danik 2016]

Virgule: The French asthmatic cousin of "Vírgula".Also a distant relative of Virgil.

Compendium:

[tailor STATELY]

Compendium: Eulogy for a computer that has become deceased.

Deceased:

[Pendragon]

Deceased: Politically correct for "dead"

Astute:

[Calidore]

Astute: The breaking of wind

Gallows

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Hooray! You guys are in rare form. Great puns all around and Calidore, I laughed out loud at that last one. Pendragon, thanks for teaching me a new word, I never knew that that 'slash' was called a virgule. I feel all literate and worldly now.

Gallows: When you go on a first date with a winsome lass, you wonder what that gal allows.

voluptuary:

[Pendragon]

voluptuary: 1) one whose every indulgence is in luxury, pleasure, and sensuous enjoyment 2) a woman shaped like an hourglass

Indolent:

[Danik 2016]

Indolent:Indonesian observation of the 40 days after Carnival

Carnival:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Carnival: I was just reading up on the Rio Carnival, Danik, to confirm its connection to Lent, which I sort of vaguely remembered. Also, it says on Wikipedia that two million people a day attend! Holy mother of crowds! Not to mention a security nightmare. Anyway, do you attend, or, as I would, stay far, far away?

Fat Tuesday:

[Danik 2016]

I stay away. But many tourists love the Rio Carnival. Anyway right now it´s good to stay away from Rio, because of the many issues around the Olympic Games.

Fat Tuesday:It´s exactly that, live or all day long on TV:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miFZzOen-fI
(The names in white are the names of the great Carnival Associations of Rio)

Halloween:

[North Star]

Halloween: The day when kids make everyone so annoyed that they envy the dead.

Thanksgiving:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Thanksgiving: the day a turkey gives its life for my pleasure. Take that, vegans. :ciappa:

Arbor Day:

[Danik 2016]

Arbor Day: Aday suppose to encorage kids to care for trees and nature

All Souls Day:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

All Souls Day: Again, you religious people have me at a disadvantage. I'm down with Halloween and Arbor Day, but the other stuff...wait, is there a Satan Day? I'd prolly dig that. Me and Norman Reedus, ridin' a couple a Harleys down a dirt road like bats out o' hell...Sorry, I digress. OK, I just read about All Souls Day. We ain't got an official day like that in Judy-ism, but we do sit shiva after someone croaks, which isn't really the same thing but I thought I'd mention it. There's tons of good food served then, like cold cuts, great pickles, real rye bread--it's quite a spread. I frequently encourage people close to me to kick the bucket so I can feast while they, you know, rot. If they got a cute kid sister I'll prolly hit on her, too.

Chicken Little:

[Pendragon]

Chicken Little: Bantam Rooster, here in SW Virginia, Banty Rooster

Polyphonic:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Polyphonic: Ooh, I'm so glad I got this one, Pendragon. As a musician of a certain generation, I am quite familiar with the history of electronic keyboards and keyboard synthesizers, and the epic moment in music history when the first such instruments, with their monophonic limit (not that some weren't great, most famously the Minimoog), gave way to fully polyphonic keyboards. Changed everything. Yes, I also realize the word polyphonic's broader meaning in music and as pertains to the piano, itself an historic breakthrough, but I'm a child of the 70s, cut me some slack. ;-)

And who the hell is Banty Rooster? What kind o' hillbilly operation you got goin' on down there in Virginny? :-0

Norman Conquest:

[Danik 2016]

Why on earth is it Arbor Day and not Tree Day?

Norman Conquest: Author of cheap feuilletons

Teeth Extractor Day (Tiradentes)-

[Tyrion Cheddar]

I've become more educated in looking up your references, Danik--never a bad thing. First, there is the talk of the town section of The New Yorker, which would be an example of feuilletons, a word I'd never heard. Then I learned who your Joaquim José da Silva Xavier was and his pejorative name Tiradentes, given to him at his trial. Well, happy Tiradentes Day and vive la revolucion! or however you say it in Portuguese. ;-)

And I think Arbor Day has more dignity than Tree Day, but whatever. Maybe there a National Shrub Day.

I Just Had Peanut Butter:

[Danik 2016]

Congrats, T. C.! As you found the international references too religious, I went local ;). By the way, Tiradentes wasn´t pejorative, it was his nick about town. 18th century dentist...
Arbor day sounds grander but reminds me of Harbour Day.

I Just Had Peanut Butter: Privileged breakfast (Peanut Butter disapeared misteriously from the mini supermarket in my street).

Zucchini:

[Pendragon]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bantam_(poultry) A Banty Rooster is one these small chickens. Kind of like a Rhode Island Red and a Plymouth Rock, two more popular species of chickens! We'll make a hillbilly out of you yet, Cheddar! :)

Zucchini: A species of mutant squash that produces them like there is no tomorrow... Two plants will usually give you all you want and all you'll GIVE away also. I had a co-worker that moved here from Baltimore and was happily planting a garden to raise vegtables. But his inexperience made him plant a whole row of Zucchini... He would show up at work with bags and bags of the stuff begging people to help themselves...

Screech Owl:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Screech Owl: Fortunately not the kind of owl I dun hear (there's a little hillbilly for you, Pendragon) in the woods behind my house, who make a mellower "hoo, hoo..." sound.

Lemon tart recipe:

[Calidore]

The muse hasn't struck for the last couple, but here's a late definition for polyphonic:. A failed method for teaching parrots to comprehend, rather than simply imitate, English.

[Pendragon]

Lemon tart recipe: For some delicate deliciousness, for others sour taste

Thanks Cheddar. The weird thing is that screech owls do not screech--they make a wailing sound. It is barn owls that screech!

Ubiquitous:

[tailor STATELY]

Ubiquitous: A saying by a manager to an exiting employee (perhaps in ebonics {not sue}) as in: Ubiquitous... yaweren'tfired !

Ebonics:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Ebonics: One of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. We should have known then that the end was quite seriously nigh.

Tuna on Rye with Lettuce and Tomato:

[tailor STATELY]

Tuna on Rye with Lettuce and Tomato: Tuna on his seahorse steed Rye with his love Tomato and sidekick Lettuce also astride.

Seahorse:

[Pendragon]

Seahorse: Poseidon's favorite mount which has a sea green mane and tail

Nautical:

[Danik 2016]

Nautical: Related to any porton of water with a bit of salt.

Poseidon:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Poseidon: Basis of one of the most ubiquitous Irwin Allen disaster movies of the 70s, which gave birth to a ghastly song called The Morning After which one had to dig a bunker to avoid hearing. Oh, and god of the sea, brother of Zeus and Hades and all that.

Coffee with heavy cream and two packets of Equal:

[Danik 2016]

Coffee with heavy cream and two packets of Equal: Ideal breakfast for losing calories

Calories:

[tailor STATELY]

Calories: A horned family of quadrupedal enemies in Xenoblade Chronicles, once only found on Valak Mountain but have since been located in small bands in the Northern California Sierra foothills at elevations exceeding 3500 feet (1066.8 metres). Most Ories resemble bulls or yaks, although two species sport antlers instead of horns, which makes them appear more like bulky deer or elk.

Equal:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Equal: A concept so fundamental to Western societies children are fed it with their mother's milk. The premise that all humans are born equal is the foundation of our political rights. Unfortunately, the premise is horse dung. As the years have revealed to me, although it is literal heresy to state out loud in the West, the notion that all humans are innately equal, as a belief, is right up there with spontaneous generation and bloodletting as a cure all.

Brazen:

[tailor STATELY]

Brazen: 1) The Zen teachings of the Brazilian masters 2) A technique used in the movie Weird Science: "Two high school nerds attempt to create the perfect woman... "

Zen:

[Pendragon]

Zen: A spiritual search for light inside one's own self

Fletcherize

[Danik 2016]

Fletcherize:Obscure dealings of someone called Fletcher.

Imperialism:

[Pendragon]

Imperialism: To act like a little tin-can Napoleon

Etch:

[Danik 2016]

Etch:Etc+plus accidental "h"

Roaming:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Roaming: Something for which cellular providers charge you an obscene, nay criminal amount of money, as I recently found out during a trip to Europe. The villains should be drawn and quartered for it, especially since improved technology has negated the original basis of the claim that it costs the cellular providers lots of money to provide you out of network service. Unfortunately, said providers send lobbyists to Capitol Hill with bags of money for cooperative congressmen. The rat b*stards!

Sleaze:

[Pendragon]

Sleaze: Vice, such as porn, which has no taste at all and is simply gratuitous in nature. Like the one sex scene in an R-rated movie that has nothing at all to do with the plot, they just stick it in there for effect. Or the extreme language just for language sake, making the movie R-rated to make people think it could possibly be good

Cussing:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Cussing: Something normal people do and don't worry about. Pendragon, I would say that I, who watch porn regularly and sometimes cuss like a sailor, am less preoccupied with either than you seem to be. Chillax, baby. :D

Canonize:

[Captain Pike]

Canonize: To shoot a large metal ball into, and possibly through, a person or object, for the purpose of getting even or just poking a big hole in something.

Effigy

[Pendragon]

Effigy: Burning a copy and not the original

Cheddar. I am a minister, remember. I hate having a good movie ruined because someone cannot write dialog and fill the space with f-bombs, or cannot get the story interesting enough to hold attention (in their opinion) unless they stick in a gratuitous nude scene. I am not opposed to love scenes that show people in love rather than a pornographic orgy...

Gratuitous:

[Danik 2016]

Are you a vicar or a priest, Pendragon?

Gratuitous: 1-everything you can get for free.2- Grating tweets.

Congress:

[Pendragon]

Traveling Evangelist (14 years) turned Pastor (Vicar) (12 years) turned Home Minister (present). Had to wear different hats over the past 35+ years. Always an Evangelist at heart.

Congress: National Arena for the playing of the game of politics, in America two teams of donkeys and elephants with much less sense

Senate:

[Danik 2016]

Why the different hats? Is it a religious carriere or did you change your religion? (Neither the donkeys nor the elephants are flattered by the comparison).

Senate: Senile + sedated

Legislative:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Senate: When you get senate you start forgetting things...no, wait, is that senile? No, no, it's Seneca. Lucius Annaeus Seneca, often known as Seneca the Younger. Senate is when you're Seneca.

Didn't know you were a clergyman, Pendragon. I certainly agree most movies are trash and Hollywood often either can't write well or doesn't give a hoot and fills in the blanks with people shouting cuss words at each other or screwing. However, where said words and sex are part of the plot, they don't bother me. We'll just have to differ. Also I confess to not knowing what any of your titles mean, specifically, except that a) you're not a rabbi (that's my childhood), b) you may or may not have been a vicar in the service and, c) you own more collars than me.

Roman senate:

[Danik 2016]

Lol!Posted together, T. C.

Roman senate: where it all began.

Aeropag:

[tailor STATELY]

Aeropag: Paganini with wings leading the angelic chorus

Inquisition:

[Danik 2016]

Inquisition: The Catholic terror of the Middle Ages

Persecution:

[tailor STATELY]

Persecution: Persecution and his brother Elocution were among the greatest of the Myrmidons during the war on Troy. Elocution was murdered by Agamemnon - who was murdered on returning home, but Persecution lives on.

Helen of Troy:

[Danik 2016]

Helen of Troy: Good looking girl that gave her family and her friends a hell of a trouble.

Aphorism:

[Lokasenna]

Aphorism: A pretention masquerading as wit.

Malaise:

[mona amon]

Malaise: Default state of health for those over fifty.

Gravity:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Thank you for that, mona, at 52 I attest you've nailed it. And I thank you, Danik, for laughing at my poultry attempts at being witty. Oh you beauty, Lokasenna, always arriving just in time like Han Solo, with the apposite touche'.

Gravity: a force that exerts itself more on those over fifty.

Fallen arches:

[tailor STATELY]

Fallen arches: When urban blight meets the Golden Arches.

Neptune:

[Pendragon]

Cheddar, an Evangelist is a traveling speaker, a Pastor is much like a Vicar as he is over a church. My current role is to have house services for those who cannot make it to church. And we have always agreed to disagree, that is respect for each other, friendship without fighting over differences that make no difference to friends!

Neptune: Gaseous planet near Uranus which may or may not have an ocean for Poseidon in his Roman Disguise to rule over

Another forum I belong to just taunted me over my illness so the word is:

Insensitivity:

[Pendragon]

Cheddar, an Evangelist is a traveling speaker, a Pastor is much like a Vicar as he is over a church. My current role is to have house services for those who cannot make it to church. And we have always agreed to disagree, that is respect for each other, friendship without fighting over differences that make no difference to friends!

Neptune: Gaseous planet near Uranus which may or may not have an ocean for Poseidon in his Roman Disguise to rule over

Another forum I belong to just taunted me over my illness so the word is:

Insensitivity:

[tailor STATELY]

Insensitivity: Aversion to popular burnt fragrance sticks or plugs ostensibly used to freshen a room.

Fragrance:

[Pendragon]

Fragrance: Aristocratic for "smell." Fragrance is in the nose of the inhaler, as I maintain that skunks give off a fragrance that one never could mistake for anything else!

Odoriferous:

[Pendragon]

Odoriferous: Whereas "Fragrance" is usually reserved for things that smell good, this word is a definite indication that something stinks

Loquacious:

[tailor STATELY]

Loquacious: The delicious variety of loquat https://www.google.com/search?client=opera&q=lowquat&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8 as opposed to the loquarot

Saturday Night Fever:

[Pendragon]

Saturday Night Fever: Movie where John Travolta did that stupid dance that people sometimes still imitate today and look just as ridiculous! 2) A burning thirst for beer associated with the weekend sports on TV, the local NASCAR race, "professional wrestling" and other Redneck events

Brouhaha:

[tailor STATELY]

Brouhaha: Often pronounced Bru-ha-ha; the alternate pronouncement: Bro-uh-aha! leads to the definitive definition of when a Bro comes to the realization that his fellow Bro has been caught in an unseemly light.

Bro:

[Calidore]

Bro: A brother who is short er.

Circumference

[Pendragon]

Circumference: Distance around a circle or cylinder that is difficult to determine because it uses the number "π” which irrationally refuses to ever repeat a digit or come to an end

My apologies, I had the pi symbol in there but the post won't accept it. Ah, well

Greek Alphabet:

[Pendragon]

Greek Alphabet: One that people learn in Collage in order to join Frat houses and endure embarrassing initiation...

Phi Beta Kappa:

[Danik 2016]

Phi Beta Kappa-Wouldn´t want to meet this one on a lone highway.

Weltanschauung-

[tailor STATELY]

Weltanschauung- 9767

Pi:

[Pendragon]

Pi: The most aggravating number in existence

Auriferous:

[Danik 2016]

Auriferous: feral auris

Hypocorism:

[tailor STATELY]

Hypocorism: Little hyrisms that cause spastic paralysis, hyperesthesia, and paresthesia in humans and animals by ingestion of certain legumes of the genus Lathyrus.

Legume:

[Pendragon]

Legume: French légume, a rather gummy vegetable that is a good excuse to become a carnivore...

Cave Canum:

[Danik 2016]

Cave canum -Ilegitimate twin brother of cave canem

Hesperides -

[tailor STATELY]

Hesperides - 1) Those death defying rides found in amusement parks near Hespe - a municipality in the district of Schaumburg, in Lower Saxony, Germany. 2) A misnomer... Mme. Sperides was definitely a She https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/48205 3) The nymphs who tended a blissful garden and sang to the delight of all who heard them from afar near the Atlas Mountains.

Misnomer:

[Pendragon]

Misnomer: To make an error in accounting 2) Unable to recall the right name of a friend you have known all your life in a public situation, which results in your introduction: "Guys, this is whatisname."

Misspent:

[mona amon]

Misspent: Past tense of the verb 'misspend' - what one does with one's youth.

Tartan

[Pompey Bum]

Tartan: a light brown skin hue white people get when they lie on their driveways in the summer.

Loquacious

[Pendragon]

Loquacious: A blabbermouth who just won't shut up!

Mirabilia:

[Danik 2016]

Mirabilia-1-Latin for miracle 2-A miriad of bills (the miracle would be to be able to pay them all)

inheritage-

[Pendragon]

inheritage: In history, unless you were going for inheritance, which is the stuff people fight over when the richest relative bites the dust

Hand-me-downs:

[Danik 2016]

Hand-me-downs: getting portions of your favorite snacks

Onomatopoeia:

[mona amon]

Onomatopoeia: Words that are named for the sounds they make. Used especially in comics - bang! crash! thud! eeee-yow! pow! etc.

Fantasy

[Danik 2016]

Fantasy: My favorite Disney film

Disney

[Pendragon]

Disney: A multibillion dollar empire. The House of Mouse has come a long way, baby!

Right On!

[Pendragon]

Right ON! An expression of approval from the 70's

Dawg:

[Danik 2016]

Dawg: dude, pall

Jintoism:

[tailor STATELY]

Jintoism: a religion that practices pickling your toesies

Pickle:

[Pendragon]

Pickle: The humble cucumber, baptized and converted, lo, into a marvelous new treat!

Frivolous:

[Danik 2016]

Frivolous: a louse that enjoys wearing frills

A gutted kitchen:

[Pendragon]

A gutted kitchen: When your beer belly requires you to make massive renovation in the kitchen, such as a table with a slot cut out for your gut to fit in

Guts for garters:

[tailor STATELY]

Guts for garters: Cross-dressing fetish ?

Fetish:

[Pendragon]

Fetish: A small portable image of something people worship 2) Weird desires

Back country:

[Danik 2016]

Back country: Some unknown part of Lilliput located on Gulliver´s back

Hadrian´s wall-

[tailor STATELY]

Hadrian´s wall...- Famed beginning of the prosecution of Rian regarding his culpability in the Humpty Dumpty fall case. It was decided that had Rian's wall been up to code HD might have been able to be put back together again. Rian's punishment was a fine of 300 pieces of gold and confinement of 1-year... of which he served only 2-weeks due to his status as a Freemason.

Freemason:

[Pendragon]

Freemason: One of the oldest and weirdest cults in the history of the world if you believe all the hype 2) The guy who built the brick house for the third pig and never charged for it, because he secretly hated the big bad wolf

Irony:

[Danik 2016]

Irony: The ironing division of the laundry.

Paraglider:

[Pendragon]

Paraglider: People who use parachutes with more than just a float to the ground, they are wanting a bit more of a thrill

Adrenalin Junkie:

[Danik 2016]

Adrenalin Junkie: There are lots of them skateboarding in the place nearby.

Aurora borealis:

[Pendragon]

Aurora borealis: Beautiful lights in the sky sometimes seen as far South as, well, here in SW Virginia-- as opposed to UFO's, and the lights one sees when one stubs a toe or hits one's funny bone

Toe Tag:

[Danik 2016]

Toe tag: It´s a memory tag that you stick on your toe. You can choose one of the tag colours: blue, green, yellow, pink and, of course, white.

Tornado:

[Pendragon]

Tornado: The Dust Devil's bigger brother

Waterspout:

[Danik 2016]

Waterspout: a tornado that loves travelling over the sea.

Monsum:

[Danik 2016]

.......

[tailor STATELY]

Monsum (or Monsoon): Global wetting

Global warming:

[Pendragon]

Global warming: A serious problem that the Earth has gone through before and will go again most likely or a total fake depending on your knowledge of how nature works...

Toscin: with a shout out to Cassie on the poetry forums!

[Danik 2016]

Toscin: something that ruminates in one´s belly

Dioxin:

[Calidore]

Dioxin: Two bullocks.

Tricycle

[Pendragon]

Tricycle: Spring, Summer, and Fall

Whole nother:

[Danik 2016]

Whole nother: It´s a whole another that lost an "a" so it´s not whole anymore.

Antonomasia:

[Pendragon]

Antonomasia:Referring to someone as that bleep of a bleep!

Condescending:

[Danik 2016]

Condescending: getting down the stairs together

Bleep:

[Calidore]

Bleep: The shortened form of "black sheep".

Condescending: The result of tossing a burglar through a window.

Junk mail

[Pendragon]

Junk mail: What a lot of male heartthrobs end up as, such as the jock that stole your girlfriend in high school who now weighs almost 500 pounds

Digit:

[tailor STATELY]

Digit: 1) Digital idiot: why computer techs have ID-10-T codes... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_error . 2) Past use for the name of a cat by pk vaille of eugene, oregon. 3) The use of a single appendage of the hand either in salute, disrepute, or hiking.

Salute:

[Pendragon]

Salute: Hand motion used as a sign of respect and no, "the bird" doesn't qualify

Bird:

[Calidore]

Bird: The word

Papa Oom Mow Mow

[Pendragon]

Papa Oom Mow Mow: Nonsense words in the Oak Ridge Boys' song "Elvira" taken from the Rivington's hit song also recorded by the Beach Boys--the songwriter must have been short on inspiration, much like "Land of a Thousand Dances" "I say a na, na na na na, na na na na"

Be-Bob:

[Danik 2016]

Be-bob: Bob coming into existence.

Shadow reporter:

[Pendragon]

Shadow reporter: One who has the ability to cloud men's minds so that they can't see him. He also knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men...

Pulp Hero:

[tailor STATELY]

Pulp Hero: (see also "pulped hero") The result of a villain defeating a hero.

Villain:

[Pendragon]

Villain: Once meaning a person of low birth, it has come to be associated with bad guys

The Shadow:

[Pompey Bum]

The Shadow: the olfactory organ (hence: the shadow nose)

Trident

[tailor STATELY]

Trident: 1) The poor cousin of the fork often relegated to extracting pickles from jars and other menial tasks 2) Super weapon by the mythical god Poseidon/Neptune and U.S. and other mythical governments: nuclear missile... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trident_(missile) 3) Term applied to Halloween hags with only 3-teeth 4) Brand of gum... https://www.google.com/search?num=100&newwindow=1&safe=active&client=opera&hs=mFu&q=trident+gum&oq=trident+gum&gs_l=serp.3...356670.362260.0.362860.32.16.0.0.0.0 .761.761.6-1.1.0....0...1c.1.64.serp..31.0.0.0.fzYF6gsVG-Q

Halloween:

[Pendragon]

Halloween: Night before the Catholic Church Celebration of All Hallows (All Saints) Day. Somehow the night before has gone to the Devil

Satan:

[Pompey Bum]

Satan: anagram for Santa, who is the grim and child-eating god Saturn's inverted Saturnalian form.

Satin

[Calidore]

Satin: The state of a used chair.

Polyester

[Pompey Bum]

Polyester: one convicted of polyestery

Phylum

[Pendragon]

Phylum: To sort your files by common characteristics, such as overdue bills, tax receipts, IOU's, etc.


Bunkum:

[Pompey Bum]

Bunkum: A fortified shelter in the event of nuclear wum

Cobra

[Pendragon]

Cobra: 1) A limited edition car that was super hot! 2) Highly poisonous snake 3) The spare bra a lady keeps in her drawer, purse, etc.

Levity:

[tailor STATELY]

Levity... Levis and tie (shirt and shoes optional)... https://www.google.com/search?q=Jerry+Garcia+ties&num=100&newwindow=1&safe=active&client=opera&hs=l0S&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj0sIKv6p3QAhWi3oMKHVehD_UQ_AUICSgC&biw=1093&bih=534

Bauble:

[Pompey Bum]

Cobra: ladies' undergarment for Siamese twins

Levity: like gravity but funnier

Bauble: the cry of a turkey with a cold

Bangle:

[MystyrMystyry]

Bangle: Something to hit it over the head with

Howitzer

[Pompey Bum]

No worry, she fine.

Rabid

[Pendragon]

Rabid: When a miser actually is willing to pay for something

Parson:

[Pompey Bum]

Rabid: Pompey Bum's avatar

Parson: like a whoreson except that his house is owned by the church

Parrot:

[tailor STATELY]

Parrot: bogey; especially snowmen and their ilk

Bogey:

[Pendragon]

Bogey: Humphrey Bogart

Gimme:

[Pompey Bum]

Gimme: Anglo-Saxon spelling of Jimmy.

Shelter:

[tailor STATELY]

Shelter: (as in shelter in place rather than runnin' helter skelter) - a dubious life saving technique if your number is up

Shelter: abode, home, overpass, cardboard box, doorway, tent, bomb shelter (nuff said), bus, car; any port in a storm

Spam:

[Pendragon]

SPAM: Acronym, Stuff Posing As Meat, credit Bill Engvall

Spam eMail:

[Pompey Bum]

Spam email: how Pam, female, filled out a form when she was drunk.

Sneaky:

[Pendragon]

Sneaky: The result of an idea that you wish you had thought of first

Premature:

[Pompey Bum]

Premature: like prehistory but with more armpit-induced fart noises.

Balderdash

[Calidore]

Balderdash: A benefit race for alopecia research.

Harpsichord

[tailor STATELY]

Harpsichord: A hybrid combination of the Hendrick's chord and the Dream chord.

Cord:

[Pendragon]

Cord: A measurement by which firewood is sold 2) A ligature used for strangulation 3) Any of the vast amount of tangled cables you need to charge a phone, tablet, Kindle, Camera, Camcorder, cordless headphones, etc. The problem is no matter which cord you actually need at the moment, it will be the one your cat dragged under the bed to play with

Cat:

[Pendragon]

Cord: A measurement by which firewood is sold 2) A ligature used for strangulation 3) Any of the vast amount of tangled cables you need to charge a phone, tablet, Kindle, Camera, Camcorder, cordless headphones, etc. The problem is no matter which cord you actually need at the moment, it will be the one your cat dragged under the bed to play with

Cat:

[Danik 2016]

Cat:1- A small usually furry creature that enchants you by its playfull and wilful nature. It is born with the conviction that all places able to contain a cat are made expressely for it. 2-In Portuguese a "gato" is a illegal way of getting electricity without paying for it.

ilegal:

[tailor STATELY]

...



























..

[Pendragon]

illegal: 1) A sick predatory bird 2) A forbidden action, such as gambling that is not wrong if the government does it, such as gambling on the lottery 3)Person of interest from another country who didn't go through customs

Wall:

[tailor STATELY]

Wall: tangible object designed as a barrier but in practice is quite frangible.

6th sense:

[Pendragon]

6th sense: Intuition or common sense painted up and made mysterious

Third Eye:

[tailor STATELY]

Third Eye: 1) the spiritual eye. 2) the eye moms have in the back of their heads. 3) part of the name of a San Francisco band formed in the '90's (Third Eye Blind)

Pinocchio

[Danik 2016]

Pinocchio- 1-A very rare kind of Italian pine. 2- A wooden puppet with a long nose, that gets longer each time he tells a lie. 3- A liar by extension. 4-A long nosed person

Equinox-

[YesNo]

Equinox: That time of year when the Sun doesn't know if it is better to enlighten us or leave us in the dark.

Cat Food:

[Danik 2016]

LoL.Loved that definition, Yes/No.

Cat Food:10% of the eatable part of the universe prepared for fastidious eaters.

Sombrero:

[YesNo]

Thank you, Danik! Those cats are picky eaters.

Sombrero: Hat worn by mariachi musicians.

Haiku:

[tailor STATELY]

Haiku: The sound poets make when they sneeze.

Sneeze:

[YesNo]

Sneeze: A nose trying to bring attention to itself.

Cough:

[Danik 2016]

Cough:A speaker trying to bring attention to himself/herself.

Map:

[YesNo]

Map: A model of reality some people mistake for reality itself.

Menu:

[tailor STATELY]

Menu: When dining/ordering out... a list of food to select for me n u

Bar-B-Que:

[YesNo]

Bar-B-Que: A stick Barbie uses to play pool.

Pool:

[Silas Thorne]

Pool: To dispose of resources, usually by pushing them down a hole with a stick.



Postmodernist

[YesNo]

Postmodernist: A derriere-garde member of the pre-twenty-first century avant-garde who couldn’t keep up.

Derriere-garde:

[Calidore]

Derriere-garde: A move that attempts​ to block a spanking.

Defrost

[tailor STATELY]

Defrost: Depoet which wrote "The Road Not Taken"

Poetry:

[Silas Thorne]

Poetry: A way of putting silence into patterns by surrounding it with sound.


Rabies

[Danik 2016]

Enjoying this revival of the dictionary. One definition better than the other!

Rabies: Choleric rabbit babys.

Entrenchment:

[YesNo]

Entrenchment: To surround oneself with a protective defense, such as a trench, against real or imagined reality.

Surround:

[Calidore]

Surround: King Arthur's fattest knight

Pottery

[Danik 2016]

Pottery: Harry Potter´s favourite hiding place.


Armagedon:

[Silas Thorne]

Armageddon: The expected end result of wars and conflicts in the modern world.


Defensive driving:

[YesNo]

Defensive Driving: Keeping one’s hand and middle finger on the wheel when some idiot drives close to you.

Modern World:

[Silas Thorne]

Modern World: The 20th century. Those living in the 20th Century are called Modernists, while those living in the 21st Century are termed Postmodernists.

Plantation:

[YesNo]

Plantation: An establishment dedicated to plants, a bit larger than a backyard vegetable garden.

Backyard:

[Danik 2016]

Backyard: A measure of the backside


Roundabout:

[Calidore]

Roundabout:
a
t b
uo


Illusion

[Silas Thorne]

Illusion: Making indirect references to diseases or maladies in a literary work, or to famous individuals who suffered from such health problems.


Garnish:

[YesNo]

Garnish: That part of a meal used to flavor or enhance the beauty of prepared foods and best left for the Gods--unless you are very hungry--except when it is red chili peppers used to flavor a stir-fry, delight the sight of connoisseurs and tease greedy devils.

Stir-fry:

[Melanie]

Stir-fry: Process for Tanning on the Beach. Roll over...fry...sit-up...fry...apply lotion...fry...repeat

Sling-shot:

[tailor STATELY]

Hi Melanie !

Sling-shot: 1) Goliath was sling-shot (or slanged) 2) The Singapore sling-shot recipe may be found here (and elsewhere, but here is where I found it): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapore_Sling ; the non-alcoholic virgin (sic) here: http://www.ehow.com/how_4119_make-virgin-singapore.html

Recipe:

[Melanie]

(^Hi tailor!! I've missed everyone)

Recipe: Instructions for making burnt offerings. Directions like an online dating service where the picture never looks like the outcome.

Determination:

[Pendragon]

Determination: Constantly trying to put square pegs into round holes

Grit:

[YesNo]

Grit: Pigheaded refusal to give up because it is so much fun not to.

Pigheaded:

[Danik 2016]

Pigheaded: Driving in the direction of a pig.

Square pegs:

[Melanie]

Square pegs: a snarky slang expression for all women named peggy

Flashlight:

[YesNo]

Flashlight: A tool that usually doesn’t have batteries when one needs it.

Snarky:

[Silas Thorne]

Snarky: The cousin of Malarky

Crepuscular

[tailor STATELY]

Crepuscular: That muscular creep that's always chatting up the ladies.

Fitness Club:

[YesNo]

Fitness Club: A place where you can watch TV while walking on a treadmill.

Treadmill:

[Melanie]

Treadmill: A tire breeder that abuses it's tires, makes too many, forgets to give them water, falsifies their pedigree, and charges too much.

Factory:

[Pendragon]

Factory: Legalized compulsive labor, only the pay, meager as it may be, separates it from slavery. They pay you just enough to keep you from quitting, while managing to make you feel less important than a used condom.

Labor:

[tailor STATELY]

Labor: A political party, like giving birth, in some countries.

Politics:

[Danik 2016]

Politics: The art of promising something and doing the opposite.

Homeland:

[Calidore]

Homeland: A dwelling touching down again, e.g. Dorothy's house in Oz after the tornado.

Witch

[Danik 2016]

Witch: A lady endowed with some itching wit and science, which arouses the suspicion of her neighbors.

Neighbor:

[Silas Thorne]

Neighbor: Someone who lives near horses.

Brooch:

[Pendragon]

Brooch: That repulsive piece of jewelry that you inherited from your mother. It has been passed down through generations of your family but you have yet to see anyone actually wear it. And you have fond memories of your great-grandmother!

Ostentatious:

[Danik 2016]

Lol. I remember a brooch of my grandma with a llama on it. I quite liked it.

Ostentatious: Why be content with white teeth if you can have golden ones?


Gold:

[Silas Thorne]

Gold: A soft mineral sometimes used by Bond villains to cover women or guns. Often sent into space.

E-book:

[Danik 2016]

E-book: Wrong pronunciation of "a book".

Commerce:

[Pendragon]

Commerce: The art of buying a horse for $25 and selling it for $2,500

Profit Margin:

[YesNo]

Profit Margin: That part of a page left blank so readers can rest their weary brains and wonder if there is any profit in reading further.

Unicorn:

[tailor STATELY]

Unicorn: Literally 1-corn - a limit dieters give themselves at picnic gatherings; a variation of the tricorn ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tricorne ) which is essentially a round head covering; a beast, similar in appearance to a horse with a long pointed/spiraled protuberance growing from its forehead, of which only one in love can see; an unattainable paragon of beauty.

Picnic

[Calidore]

Picnic: To choose an online alias.

Profit margin: The social outskirts to which speakers for fringe gods are relegated.

Animus

[Danik 2016]

Animus:Your ideal mate (animus or anima).

Origami:

[Pendragon]

Origami: A simple paper-folding technique that can be used as an exercise in futility, the Japanese make it look easy but it isn't

Feng Shui:

[YesNo]

Feng Shui: "Wind Water" Chinese philosophic system. Those who don’t like it call it a superstition with no demonstrable evidence showing it is beneficial, yadda, yadda, yadda. Those who like it use it to orient themselves to what’s around them and enjoy whatever benefits they enjoy.

Futility:

[Danik 2016]

Futility: Objects that are useful for the feet.

Vintage:

[YesNo]

Vintage: The term only makes sense when it refers to wine in which case it is the year and place where the wine was made. That doesn’t stop it from referring to something a tad bit too old and out-of-date to be considered “new”, but not quite ancient enough to be a collectible “antique”.

Antique:

[Pendragon]

Antique: Belonging to a bygone age and therefore sought after. People will buy antique items that have become so obsolete that people have to ask "What the devil is that?!"

Devil:

[YesNo]

Devil: The opposite of angel. It is often thought of as male while the angel is female. It is usually well-dressed and handsome with a quick wit and eager to get you to sign your soul away. Of course, once you sign and meet it in hell appearances change.

Angel:

[Danik 2016]

Lol!

Angel: 1- A representant of heaven. 2-Name of a rather relentless character in "Tess of the Ubervilles". Mollified after getting a fever in Curitiba of all places.

You tube:

[tailor STATELY]

You tube: or Euphonium... Instrument not too unlike a Tuba, also called a Baritone Horn; YouTube: a place to explore music and/or videos that whimsically may or may not be available albeit listed.

Facebook:

[Danik 2016]

Facebook: The book that shows ones faces to the world, and the faces of the world to one.


Twitter:

[YesNo]

Twitter: What birds do to waste time.

Waste:

[Danik 2016]

Waste: That what you lose whithout gaining anything by it.


Haste:

[YesNo]

Haste: Trying to run faster than time.

Time:

[Danik 2016]

Time:Something that passes and transforms everything.

Wit:

[YesNo]

Wit: (1) The way some people mispronounce “with”. (2) A conversationalist whose mouth runs faster than his brain.

Bird Brain:

[Melanie]

Bird Brain: Someone who bombs the Canary Islands and Turkey in order to get rid of the Bird flu

Beeline:

[Calidore]

Hi, Melanie! Nice to see you again.

Beeline:. The row of children participating in a spelling contest.

Abacus

[Melanie]

(Hi Calidore! It's been awhile. I missed everyone)

Abacus: A calculator for those on a limited budget and can't be hacked into! You're a nerd if you can multiply double-digits on it.

Brainteaser

[Silas Thorne]

Brainteaser: An quick injection of tea directly into the cerebrum. Perfect to stimulate emotions and thoughts involved in the writing of poetry. 'Brainteasing' may lead to serious infection, madness and death.

Frittata:

[YesNo]

Frittata: A cross between an egg pizza and an omelette that escaped to the wild.

Wild:

[Melanie]

Wild: Someone with a stubborn spirit, messy hair, and a smile on their face.

Wide-eyed

[YesNo]

Wide-eyed: The way the front of something looks whose back is bushy-tailed.

Smile:

[Danik 2016]

Smile: A friendly mouth movement.

Movement:

[YesNo]

Movement: What happens to stuff that tries to stand still for too long.

Universe:

[Silas Thorne]

Universe: A type of unicorn that recites poetry to young women.

Definite:

[YesNo]

Definite: A guaranteed 100% probability that something will happen as predicted. The guarantee is good until shown otherwise.

Prediction:

[Melanie]

Prediction: events before diction, like Writers Block

Blockage:

[Calidore]

Blockage: To prevent, by word or deed, others knowing how old you are.

Geriatric

[YesNo]

Geriatric: Too old to remember how you got this way.

Old:

[Danik 2016]

Old: a shorter word for geriatric.

Sunset:

[Calidore]

Sunset: A collection containing one of each of the following:. Red dwarf, yellow dwarf, white dwarf, brown dwarf, red giant, blue giant, supergiant, neutron star, pulsar.

Celestial

[YesNo]

Celestial: The part that’s not down to Earth.

Clouds:

[Danik 2016]

Clouds: The part when one´s head usually is when it is not down to earth. It´s also the part where Microsoft insists that we keep all our archives.

Archiv:

[Silas Thorne]

archive: An ancient edible species related to the shallot and leek.


cacophony:

[Danik 2016]

Cacophony: a melodical cough.

Melody:

[Silas Thorne]

Melody: Harmony's annoying younger sister.

Fiscal Deficit:

[Danik 2016]

Fiscal Deficit: I suppose that´s what happens when the rulling forces of a country feel that they are short of cash.:bawling:

Taxes:

[Silas Thorne]

Oh dear, sorry Danik. Did I touch a nerve there?

Taxes: A tool used by the ruling class to foster unequal wealth distribution.

[Danik 2016]

No problem at all, Silas. It was just a pertinent association.

Ruling class:

[Silas Thorne]

Ruling class: A special class in an elite school where future leaders go to network with each other.


Quark:

[Danik 2016]

Quark: 1-A successful crossing between yoghurt and cream cheese. 2-Successful nonsense.

Network: