Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Constitutional: The outdoor stroll you take after dinner which somehow leads to your upstairs bathroom.

Egest:

[Danik 2016]

Egest: The opposite of ingest.

Antithetic:

[Pendragon]

Deleted by Pendragon

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Holy jeez, Pendragon, I've only ever heard porch monkey as a hateful epithet for a black person, putting one in mind of the old black-faced lawn jockeys, but, I see by now looking it up, it also implies laziness on the part of that black person. Yuck. Let's move on.

Bloomers:

[Danik 2016]

Bloomers: Quite a revolutionary type of women´s underpants.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloomers_%28clothing%29

Coat of arms:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

The goat appointed head of the king's guard. Oh, coat of arms. Sorry.

confound:

[Danik 2016]

Confound: goat for coat, on my oath!

Tyranosaurus:

[Pendragon]

Cheddar: Not here. It refers to an ugly or cantankerous old woman. In this area, the thing used to be sitting on the porch in a swing or rocking chair watching everybody else. The (usually elderly) ladies would mutter at passersby and screech at us kids who were playing in the street. Race had nothing to do with it. It was "Stay away from Old Lady Wilson's place, that Porch Monkey will call the law on you!" Mrs. Wilson, by the way, was white. I apologize to anyone who feel it was racial.

That said, I withdraw from the game.

Swamp Gas:

[YesNo]

Swamp gas: What you create when you fart on a tourist airboat in the Everglades.

Tyrannosaurus: Having been told that dinosaurs evolved into birds and observing that a chicken is a kind of bird I tend to think of a Tyrannosaurus as a kind of overgrown chicken.

Chicken:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Chicken: What people eat whole continents worth of every year but which I'm not the biggest fan of, unless it's chicken chow mein or orange flavored chicken, which is breaded and fried and really bad for us high cholesterol types.

Pendragon: No need to withdraw from the game, you done clear up the misunderstanding. Fortunately for me, no one's allowed on my porch but me and there ain't no other porches nearby.

Jumbo Shrimp:

[Danik 2016]

Jumbo Shrimp: a shrimp that thinks itself an elephant.

Backbone:

[tailor STATELY]

Backbone - the most important instrument in a jazz band

Jazz:

[Danik 2016]

Jazz: soulfull music and 200 more meanings.

Chasm:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Chasm: What exists between the ears of all candidates for President.

Void:

[Pendragon]

Void: 1) Vast and empty, the void of space in which no one can hear you scream 2) To empty. You void your bladder when you realize your spacewalk has just turned terminal as you float off into the void


Retinue:

[YesNo]

Retinue: One’s official collection of minions.

Minion:

[Danik 2016]

Minion: minimalist creature

Creature:

[Pompey Bum]

Creature: A critter with a college education

Bedeviled: Damnation for eggs

Recusancy:

[YesNo]

Welcome back, Pompey Bum!

Recusancy: A defiant refusal in the face of fines and punishment to kiss the dark undersides of whomever happens to have political power at the moment.

Defiance:

[Pompey Bum]

Thank you, YesNo.

Defiance: A braver stance than defoeance or, God forbid, defumbance (though one often leading to defeeance).

Endeavor

[Danik 2016]

Endeavor: A firm belonging to one Sisyphus.

Coronary:

[Pompey Bum]

Coronary: An early James Bond

Ancillary

[Danik 2016]

Ancillary: Ancient comic strips

Mediator:

[Pendragon]

Mediator: The middle man who takes bull from both sides and then faces their venom for life

Fixing:

[Pendragon]

Mediator: The middle man who takes bull from both sides and then faces their venom for life

Fixing:

[Pompey Bum]

Fixing: intending to do, or being on the brink of doing, anything in the American South; e.g., "Oh, is it raining?" "No, but it's fixing to."


Combustion

[Danik 2016]

Combustion: Force (or eminence of it) that seems to beat work in international relations today. :(

Diplomacy:

[Pompey Bum]

Diplomacy: Telling people to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. (Old joke).

Free trade

[Danik 2016]

I liked that one!:D

Free trade: trade goods for free!

Goods:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Goods: The sequel to bads, which were a complete ****-up.

Services:

[Danik 2016]

Services: Grandma´s China collection

Underground:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Underground: The place to which all quality music has been consigned in this age in which popular music sounds like the Emergency Broadcast System test signal.

Twerking:

[Danik 2016]

Twerking: 1-The king of a misterious reign called Twer. 2-A dance similar to funk

Derailment:

[Pompey Bum]

Twerking: A dance move suggestive of ferking.

Derailment: What should have kept that kid away from de gorilla.

Airy fairy

[YesNo]

Airy-Fairy: A derogatory term used mainly by the British to insult people who by definition do not have enough brains to be insulted.

Artsy-Fartsy:

[Danik 2016]

Artsy-Fartsy: A derrogatory term to describe bad and pretentious art.

whimsical:

[Pompey Bum]

Whimsical: like a Popsicle but more capricious

Willy nilly

[Danik 2016]

Willy nilly:Nickname of a nihilistic pop philosopher called Willy.

Popsicle:

[Pendragon]

Popsicle: The huge icicle that fell on dad's head last winter...

Goes:

[Danik 2016]

Goes: 3rd person singular, verb. to go.:D

Aftermath:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Aftermath: After math comes gym, which, frankly, is a relief after all that thinkin'.

Pompey, your line about whimsical being like a popsicle, only more capricious, should win you a muffin or something. ;-)

chestnut:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Twerking: A dance move suggestive of ferking.

Actually, PB, if twerking is suggestive of ferking, it would be twucking; but I thought twucking was how goods were moved from warehouse to store shelf across America's highways.

[Danik 2016]

Perhaps a popsicle!

Chestnut: A nut carefully kept in a chest.

Randomness:

[North Star]

Randomness: The standard excuse you have for why other people are more successful than you, when it's actually because you haven't worked hard enough.

Success:

[YesNo]

Success: Getting what one wants which may be a good thing or not.

Highway:

[Pompey Bum]

Pompey, your line about whimsical being like a popsicle, only more capricious, should win you a muffin or something. ;-)

Thank you, TC. With my luck, it'll be a meadow muffin.

Keep on twucking!

Highway: a straight road created by improvement; contrasted by Blake with the roads of genius.

Acolyte

[Danik 2016]

Acolyte: Someone who elects a shrine to serve.:piggy:(money),:patriot:,:devil:,:angel:,:lu rk5:

Shrine:

[Pompey Bum]

Shrine: a way to ensure your shrews look their best.

Nasty little two-faced git:

[Danik 2016]

Nasty little two-faced git: Derrogatory slang expression to designate a desagreable small hypocritical being.

Being:

[Pompey Bum]

Being: a state preferable to seeming in all but the real world.

Chastity:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Chastity: Something for the promise of which men pay a fortune, only to discover too late the little wench's nickname is The Socket.

Fallen:

[YesNo]

Fallen: The state that comes after being too upright and respectable.

Upright:

[Danik 2016]

Upright:When you prop the stem of a plant up. With humans it´s usually an transitory position.

Illusion:

[Pompey Bum]

Chastity: a 'tity that doesn't get out much.

Illusion: what happens when a Buddhist hits his thumb with a hammer.

Compunction

[YesNo]

Compunction: A sense of guilt commensurate with the realization that one has been caught.

Caught:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Caught: Any fish that suddenly becomes aware it isn't so much swimming as hanging vertically, as though suspended by a mysterious force.

And I like your definition of chastity, PB. I've got my eye on you.

Busted:

[Pompey Bum]

Busted: Vulgar slang for a despicable fellow or an illegitimate child.

Flustered:

[Danik 2016]

Just two comments on "Chastity" (IMO definition a bit outdated even for a secular Devil´s Dictionary).
1-"Chastity" doesn´t refer only to the female part of humanity, though a lot of elements of the male part prefer to think it does.
2- According to Wilhelm Reich,https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Invasion_of_Compulsory_Sex_Morality female chastity was a sexist invention so that the husbands could be sure that they were in fact the father of their wives children. He must be right, for with the advent of the paternity tests no one cares any more about it.:hurray::hurray:

flustered: more or less like this :flare:

sexual revolution:

[Pompey Bum]

Sexual Revolution: The product of a non-existent substance called orgone.

Ectoplasm

[YesNo]

Ectoplasm: What my ghost friends are made out of.

Orgone:

[Pompey Bum]

Orgone: See Santa Claus.

Libido

[YesNo]

Libido: The orgone powering both the sexual revolution and chastity as well as other pseudoscientific experiences.

Pseudoscientific:

[Pompey Bum]

Libido: the forgotten Marx brother

Pseudoscientific: the fringe of quackery

Fringe

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Fringe: that portion of the population which used to be understood to be radical, unbalanced and most comfortable when heavily drugged and straitjacketed, and which now runs society. (Ooh, ooh, he gets political...What will he do next...)

Lunatic:

[YesNo]

Lunatic: A fringe of society whose members think everyone else is nuts.

Quackery:

[Pompey Bum]

Quackery: A pacifist and quietist movement in the Protestant Reformation.

Daiquiri

[YesNo]

Daiquiri: A fancy drink for those who need a faster buzz than beer has to offer.

Buzz:

[Pompey Bum]

Buzz: A bit of onomatopoeia describing the intoxicating pleasure of having a mosquito fly into your inner ear.

Onomatopoeia

[YesNo]

Onomatopoeia: It sounds like some sort of orgone therapy for the urinary tract.

Mosquito:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Mosquito: The original name for Mojito. Didn't fly. (Notice what I did there.)

YesNo, your onomatopoeia line is just about the best thing since Christmas.

Slab of Pork:

[tailor STATELY]

Slab of Pork: My dinner this evening (with fried potatoes)

Moose ?

[YesNo]

Moose: I’ll try to explain it. Take the word “goose”. A goose is the singular form of “geese”. So if you know what geese are you know what a goose is. Similarly for moose. If you know what meese are, you know what a moose is.

Mouse:

[Pompey Bum]

Mouse: see above.

Ugly Duckling

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Ugly Duckling: If biology followed Hans Christian Anderson rules, this would be the incipient stage of a girl's development which preceded blossoming into a total stunner, let's say about 6'2", maybe an international tennis champion. Sadly, Hans Christian was an old pedo who liked to creep around impressionable school children. They even built a mermaid statue in Copenhagen as a warning to future generations.

Marty McFly:

[spikepipsqueak]

Marty McFly: Scottish version of Spanish Fly.



Cleanser

[Pompey Bum]

Cleanser: French for "to cleanse"

Repugnant

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Repugnant: cold coffee that's been sitting on the nightstand all night.

Inveterate:

[Pompey Bum]

Inveterate: believe it or not it means the same thing as veterate.

Defenestration

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Defenestration: The act of throwing someone out a window. And I mean from a high floor. You just watch yourself, Pompey, my old son.

Thighmaster:

[Pompey Bum]

Defenestration: The act of throwing someone out a window. And I mean from a high floor. You just watch yourself, Pompey, my old son.

Duly noted. :)

Thighmaster: Not nearly as much fun as Thighmistress.

Mea culpa

[Pendragon]

Mea culpa: Latin, forgive me It actually roughly translates to It was my fault, something most people will never acknowledge!

By the way, Danik, the word goes is slang for talk as in "Well Jane goes "Who gives a crap?" and Bill goes "Certainly not you. b----!"

Slang:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Slang: What Billy did to the wet beach towel after his mother told him to sling it over the fence to dry.

insouciant:

[Danik 2016]

Tks, PD, I didn´t know. But my definition wasn´t wrong either. ;)

insouciant: a badly seasoned sauce

chameleon:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Chameleon: One of the most odious forms of tea in existence, the drinking of which is comparable to having one's face pressed into a pile of sweaty socks. Oh, chameleon! Sorry. I was thinking chamomile. Right. Chameleon, a little bug what sits on a branch.

Camouflage:

[Pompey Bum]

Cam O'Flage: Eugene O'Neil's cowardly cousin.

Epiglottis

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pompey, if you ever make a joke that bad again I may come at you--come at you with the remains of my club sandwich from the diner, and there's no knowing where it may end up.

Epiglottis: The slightly less serious cousin of epidemic, which does not require CDC workers to don spacesuits.

Spacesuit:

[tailor STATELY]

Spacesuit: The approved method of blocking one's thoughts from telepathy replacing tin foil hats. Suits utilized mostly in space, in the 20th and 21st century most specifically; the effects of telepathy decreases as to the square of the distance (measured in EPRs) - spacesuits becoming the final barrier. See notes encrypted: google images: steg file: Omega; key=grumpy cat 999.n.9.r.9.11.

Space Station:

[Pompey Bum]

Pompey, if you ever make a joke that bad again I may come at you--come at you with the remains of my club sandwich from the diner, and there's no knowing where it may end up.

I promise nothing.

Space (a/the) suit (verb): to forget what the trump is in bridge.

Space Station: a place where the best minds on three continents can hear when you pee.

Denouement

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Denouement: A thing which none o' these here threads ever seems to head in the direction of.

And I like your definition of space station.

Cindy Lauper:

[Pompey Bum]

Denouement: like a climax but dryer.

Cindi Lauper: like a singer but wetter.

Mollified

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Once again, PB, your definitions are without peer.

Mollified: Oddly enough, this brings us back to that cheerleader of legend, for her name was Molly, and on that storied night of Bacchanalia in which the ribald humor flowed as freely as the libation, every member of the football team got mollified.

Rude:

[Pompey Bum]

Rude: the slippery slope to lewd, screwed, and tattooed.

Feckless

[tailor STATELY]

Feckless: Devoid of feckles; a witless Scot; Irish constraint

Void:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Void: That thing which Nietzsche warned us not to stare too long into, lest it stare back into us. Really, though, wouldn't you? Stare back, I mean. Staring is rude, and turnabout is fair play, after all. If someone stares at you, you bloody well stare back.

Importune:

[YesNo]

Nice definition of void. I'll have to stare more often.

Importune: What happens when you stare into the void long enough that it starts helping you with your problems.

Help:

[mona amon]

Help: A word you yell repeatedly when you are in trouble, hoping someone will come to your aid. In America it is probably better to yell "Call 911!"

Welcome back Pompey! :)

EDIT: Oops forgot to post a word -

Senility

[Pompey Bum]

Hi Mona! Nice to see you my friend. :)

Senility: A word for helpless dithering; derived from the same Latin word as "senator."

Sushi

[Pendragon]

Sushi: A polite term for "The fish is SUPPOSED to be raw, you idiot!"

Wasabi:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Wasabi: A perennially dreaded question, right up there with "Where do babies come from?", the best approach is generally the direct one: "A bi is someone whose heart is so big she loves both girls and boys. Now go play."

knave:

[Pompey Bum]

Knave: The part of a cathedral next to the as s.

Bronco

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Bronco: What so many women have called me it's embarrassing.

Next to the 'as s,' Pompey? I am without clue. Also, I get no love for the wasabi gibe? I'd have thought some applause, at least. With the one hand you've got available.

Stud muffin:

[Pompey Bum]

Comic genius speaks for itself, TC. :)

And the site doesn't let you say ***--hence as s.

Stud muffin: the fate of pastries that start to lose races.

As s backwards:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

As s backwards: Also known as arse backwards, tush backwards, and in Uzbekistan apparently butt backwards. The term refers to all planning done by civil agencies, offices and administrations.

clusterf**k:

[Pompey Bum]

Clusterf**k: the perfect complement to one's clustersp**n.

Teleological

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Teleological: A way of describing the iconic star of a 1970s police drama about a bald, lollipop sucking detective.

scamp:

[Pendragon]

scamp: A combination of the words "escape" and "camp" You will always need to pitch your tent or park your RV in such a way as to escape the hordes of insects, various snakes and creepy-crawlers, other campers with limited sense and even more limited bladders, and the occasional Bigfoot

Sasquatch:

[Pompey Bum]

Scamp: a place parents send children in scummer.

Sasquatch: As I may have said before, a preternatural being who wanders the American woodland in a gorilla suit.

Butter squash:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Butter squash: What happens to butter when Sasquatch steps on it.

Chicken suit:

[Pompey Bum]

Chicken suit: dragging some pecker to court. Hey, how else are you going to re-coop your egg-spences?

Igneous

[YesNo]

Igneous: Hot

RV:

[tailor STATELY]

RV: Impolite form of RSVP

RSVP:

[Pendragon]

RSVP: Literally, répondez s'il vous plaît, French for "Please respond." How it came to be an Americanism I will never know. Here in the South we just say "(Name of event) Y'all come." which usually gets one of two answers: "OK" or "Can't"

ASAP:

[Hawkman]

ASAP: The kind of person who votes for a demagogue, buys snake oil and expects a Rolex to cost £30 from some guy at a gas station.

Assassin:

[Calidore]

Assassin: Dancing back-to-back.

Plunder

[tailor STATELY]

Plunder: a blunder on Pluto that can take your life.

Blunder:

[YesNo]

Blunder: A mistake somewhat more serious than one normally makes.

Mistake:

[Danik 2016]

Mistake: something you wanted, but missed.

Something:

[YesNo]

Something: Originally, the opposite of nothing, but then with the big bang it looks like everything, including something, popped out of nothing and so it looks like something and nothing aren’t exactly opposite anymore, and so I don’t know what it means.

Pop:

[Pompey Bum]

Pop: Onomatopoeia/Palindrome meaning burst/father/soft drink: "Stop! You must not hop on top of Pop!"

Crustacean

[YesNo]

Crustacean: That part of a pie that sinks to the bottom or floats to the top.

Snake Oil:

[Pompey Bum]

Snake oil: like baby oil but slimier.

Coxcomb

[Pendragon]

Coxcomb: The latest tool for making your rooster look like Donald Trump or Benny Hinn by styling the red. fleshy appendage atop his head 2) A species of flower (look it up, it's true)

[YesNo]

Appendage: That part of a male’s anatomy that (most) females think looks better on men than it does on them.

Anatomy:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Anatomy: Something one is scarce permitted to comment upon these days, lest one have one's appendage lopped off by the High Court of Social Justice, sentence having been pronounced by a magistrate with a codpiece while a coxcomb were at Morris dancing.

Vivisectionist:

[Pompey Bum]

Vivisectionist

One who is compassionate enough not to kill an animal before passing it's meat around.

Quincunx

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Quincunx: a word which, if mispronounced while shouting it out with glee upon rolling double fives, could result in the nearest feminist performing unsanctioned alterations to one's wrinkly bits.

Dodecatheon:

[Pendragon]

Dodecagon: A polygon with 12 sides and 12 faces like a standard jury, a politician, or a Televangelist with weird hair

Polymorph:

[tailor STATELY]

Polymorph: Dyslexic for Poor Lymph; what caterpillars do; parrots molting

dyslexia:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Dyslexia: common misspelling of Lysdexia.

A parrot molting = polymorph...tailor, I can't be held accountable for my actions...

keelhauling:

[YesNo]

Keelhauling: A way sailors like to administer a butt kicking when an average butt kicking is not good enough.

Butt Kicking:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Buttkicking: What I must content myself with when keelhauling tailor for making that "Polly morph" joke isn't an option.

Judas cradle (I'm looking at you, tailor):

[tailor STATELY]

Judas cradle: Receiving 30 pieces of silver for doing the yo-yo trick "rock the cradle" as remuneration from an audience. Side note: The National Yo-Yo museum is now in a city I worked and/or lived in for a short time: '86-'89... Chico, CA

Remuneration:

[Danik 2016]

Remuneration: a salary that is supposed to cover your needs.

Grasshopper:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Grasshopper: What all half-Chinese/half-American disciples of the kung fu temple are called before graduation, at which point they begin an epic journey across the Old West whose only real purpose is gratuitous fighting and the smashing up of saloons.

Pear of Anguish:

[Danik 2016]

Pear of Anguish: Famous knight of the 5th Century (when "peer" still was spelled "pear") who founded the House of Anguish. His descendants were numerous.

Hall of Fame:

[tailor STATELY]

Hall of Fame: An edifice not for the most-of-us; a place where accolades are strewn among perceived or real heroes

hero:

[Danik 2016]

hero:see p. xxx of the dicionary. In revised version a Heron reduced to hero.

Humbug:

[tailor STATELY]

Humbug: A bug who hums because it doesn't know the words

Words:

[Danik 2016]

words:units of sounds and letters humans use to block comunication.

comunication:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Words: Something bad for an apple, good for a garden. <cleans Mr. McGoo glasses>

Foyer:

[YesNo]

Foyer: The entrance to a public building and for some as far as they can get into the building before they get kicked out.

Communication: The human act of exchanging confused understandings of reality with each other.


Confusion:

[Danik 2016]

.......

[Danik 2016]

Thanks for the correction of the game, Yes/No. :)

confusion: Confucianism gone awry.

pathetic:

[tailor STATELY]

pathetic: The path eTics take after you've been skunked online from trying to purchase an eTic after t minus 1 pico-pico second

Sniped:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Sniped: snipe is the posh pronunciation of snape, meaning to bevel the end of a timber to fit an inclined surface. The peculiar fascination this activity held for the Victorian aristocracy was the subject of Nevil Shunt's 1983 novel Weekend at Slough.

Earthenware:

[tailor STATELY]

Earthenware: Ear-then-ware or earings for warewolves who ware them so as to be transformed into waryness by other than the full moon; also a fashion statement for warewolves.

Fashion:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Fashion: <points to self>

Modesty:

[tailor STATELY]

Modesty: #Moi

Dreams:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Dreams: what I'm always hoping will feature a chaste and unknowing college freshman who with blinking blue eyes coquettishly peeks out from beneath her blonde bangs and asks me to show her the ways of the world, but which invariably features Otto Preminger delivering an address about the use of avians as metaphor while standing in a living room which is simultaneously the Hall of Saurischian Dinosaurs in the American Museum of Natural History. And he's naked.

Chagrin:

[YesNo]

Chagrin: Distress occurring when the bad parts of one’s dream come true on top of the good parts.

Coquettishly:

[Danik 2016]

Coquettishly: The walk of a rooster that wants to be noticed by the surrounding hens.

Sleepwalking:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Sleepwalking: The way most people shuffle through their lives until, one day in late middle age, epiphany strikes and they realize it's all about sex. Glancing down hopefully, they note that, one, they can scarce see the equipment any longer due to the intervening belly, and, two, the sex in question involves lads and/or lasses who are now nearly young enough to be their own grandchildren--and who, but for the surreptitious administration of Rohypnol, would sooner walk into the propeller of a B-52 than have sex with them.

Regret:

[YesNo]

Regret: What happened to Rip Van Winkle when he awoke and found out his girlfriend had grand kids and none of them were named “Rip”.

Epiphany:

[Danik 2016]

Epiphany: 1-See entry on page XXX. 2- A typical name for single ladies that live in the country or for soap opera nuns.

Tragedy:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Tragedy: naming your daughter Chastity, Bambi or Randi, 'cause you just know she's gonna end up as the top pole dancer at the Pink Pussycat Lounge.

Topless:

[Pendragon]

Topless: Not in possession of one of those spinning toys that parents somehow feel will entertain toddlers (No)

Name:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Name: is a state in New England, in the United States. It is is the 39th most extensive and the 42nd most populous of the 50 U.S. states. It is bordered by New Hampshire to the west, the Atlantic Ocean to the east, and the Canadian provinces of New Brunswick and Quebec to the east and north, respectively. Wait. Damn dyslexia again. Name, not Maine. Name is what you call a state like Maine.

Brown rice with chopped broccoli, crinkle cut carrots, black beans and shredded cheddar:

[Danik 2016]

Brown rice with chopped broccoli, crinkle cut carrots, black beans and shredded cheddar: tasty anthropophagic miscellany


dish of meat, potatoes and vegetables-

[Tyrion Cheddar]

dish of meat, potatoes and vegetables: Standard European fare--simple, crude and filling. My Eastern European forebears presumably ate this all the time, hence my own preference for it. And my girth.

First cup of coffee in the morning:

[Pendragon]

First cup of coffee in the morning: Eye-opener

Poltergeist:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Poltergeist: A late Medieval corruption of the name Walter Geist, First Dung Gatherer to the King, late of Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Leicestershire. Famous for walking the Downs and fields with a great pole of alder, a wood sacred to the Druids due to the ability of its bark, when boiled lightly, to cure even the worst constipation, he eventually became known as Walter "The Pole" Geist. (NB: A persistent rumor has it that the women of the region originally assigned him the nickname, and for very different reasons, but there is no hard and fast evidence of this.) Eventually, the name devolved into "Polter" Geist. His ghost is said to still wander the East Midlands to this day, long pole and all; hence the association with spirits and unseen forces.

Supernatural:

[Calidore]

Supernatural: Both organic and raw.

Organic

[Pompey Bum]

Organic: a broccoli's sexual response

Raw

[Pendragon]

Raw: 1) Uncooked 2) Bawdy 3) Nude 4) A sports entertainment (professional wrestling) show that is on Monday night TV

Rare:

[Pompey Bum]

Rare: uncooked bovine tissue.

Roar:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

I got nothin'. That poltergeist one pretty much wiped me out.

[Pompey Bum]

Roar: the seashell-like sound inside TC's head. It's okay, we're friends. Really, we're like this all the time. :)

Boar:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Boar: In my dreams I seem to be in the forest of old, mist pooling languidly about bole and vine, scent of wet earth rank. From underneath comes a rumbling, a thundering as of hooves, till misty veil is pierced by scimitar of ivory, the mighty boar in full charge, head down, as with one fell throe of muscle he drives tusk sheer through Pompey Bum's belly, piercing flesh from fore to aft, bright blood dripped blade protruding behind triumphantly.

It's OK, we're friends. We're like this all the time. Really. :biggrinjester:

Wish fulfillment:

[Pompey Bum]

Wish fulfillment: what wishes could reach if they would just relax and go with it.

Naked mole rat:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

First time Pompey B. dropped his trousers with his first girlfriend, she laughed, pointed and said: "Is that a naked mole rat or are you just happy to see me?"

Jupiter:

[Pendragon]

Jupiter: 1) God of the Lightning and father of various Gods, Demi-gods, and assorted semi-godlike beings 2) A distant planet that could easily contain hundreds of earth sized planets, assuming that there actually is a planet under all those gas clouds... 3) Nostalgia-- leader of The Three Investigators, last name Jones

Moonstruck:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Moonstruck: What happened to the first Apollo mission, the one nobody heard about.

Mr. Lim Bin Nim F'Tang Ole' Biscuit Barrel:

[Pendragon]

Mr. Lim Bin Nim F'Tang Ole' Biscuit Barrel: Evidently a Silly Party Candidate on a British TV show something like Saturday Night Live or Monty Python. Part of his name seems to be in a language similar to Cthulhu speak: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" ("In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.")

Cthulhu Mythos:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Cthulhu Mythos: available with every Happy Meal purchased, McDonald's also supplies a packet of dipping sauce.

Hovercraft:

[North Star]

Hovercraft: Something that is full of eels.

Eels:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Eels: What you wear out eventually.

karmic:

[Pendragon]

karmic: A microphone for your automobile to keep you from being distracted with your cell phone

Cell phone:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Cell phone: What you wrap leftover food in to keep it fresh.

Jerky:

[Pompey Bum]

Jerky: Herky's situationally inappropriate brother

Lampoon

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Lampoon: What you spear baby sheep with.

Fiery hot peppers:

[YesNo]

Fiery Hot Pepper: The spontaneous combustion of a hot pepper hopefully occurring prior to inserting said pepper into mouth.

Black Dwarf:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Black Dwarf: I'm not touching this one with a ten foot pole.

Circus Act:

[Pendragon]

Circus Act: Politics explained

Oh and Cheddar, a Black Dwarf is a Pygmy, which doesn't put anyone down. They are a tribe who have been praised for their ability to settle things peacefully.

Oubliette:

[Danik 2016]

Circus Act 2: Politicians that have stolen public money all their lives, claiming with tears that they and their families are victims of injustice, when they are finally called to account.

Oubliette: store room for everything you want to forget.

Windmill:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Windmill: Something Pete Townsend invented by accident when, at a very early gig with The Who at the Marquee club in London, he witnessed Keith Richards making the now famous spiraling motion with his right arm while standing to the side of the stage, guitar on, waiting for the Stones' turn to go on stage. Townsend instantly fell in love with this and used it on stage that night, apologizing to Keef afterwards for stealing it. Richards didn't know what he was talking about, saying that he'd only been stretching out earlier in preparation for performing. And now you know something wot you ain't not knew before.

Electric:

[Pendragon]

Electric: Marketing word for "batteries not included."

Frantic:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Frantic: Frantic Comes Alive was one of the epoch making albums of the 1970s, spawning hits that were played in perpetuity, and turning then obscure (in America, at any rate) guitarist Peter Frantic into a mega superstar. Everyone had that album in their collection, and the lengthy live version of Do You Feel Like I Do appearing on the record became an anthem one heard all over for years to come. Wait, what? Frampton! Sorry. Peter Frampton. I keep making that mistake.

Avuncular:

[tailor STATELY]

Avuncular: (usually plural: Avunculars) Those things you put a shiny Liberty quarter in to magnify the sights from afar viewed from the top of the Empire State building.

Spectacles:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Spectacles: Extraordinarily sensitive organs responsible for sperm production in the male of the species. Shaped like orbs, they hang away from the body in a sack known as the scrotum, in order to slightly lower their temperature, which in turn boosts semen production. A willingness to tenderly receive said sack in the oral cavity was once viewed as the mark of a virtuous maiden. Sadly, this tradition has--what? I misread what? Oh, spectacles! Sorry.

Elven:

[Pendragon]

Elven: 1) Tragic misspelling of "eleven" 2) Old English for a fairy or elf-- the Elven Kind, which now only exist in fantasy stories and blockbuster movies directed by Peter Jackson

Scoff:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Scoff: What you put on to keep the wind off your neck. (You didn't think I was going to let that one past, did you?)

Murphy Bed:

[Pendragon]

Murphy Bed: A bed that if anything can go wrong with it, such as folding up with you in it, will happen. It is called a Murphy Bed after Murphy's Law

Bedbug:

[Danik 2016]

Bedbug: Contributes willingly and happily to the production of Murphy Beds

Unconstitutional:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Unconstitutional: cheese, famously, and any other foods which interfere with one's constitution, forcing one to go for an evening stroll an have two prunes before bed.

European crested tit:

[Pendragon]

European crested tit: A botched boob job 2)a bird which belongs to the family of Paridés

Phantasmagoria:

[Lokasenna]

Phantasmagoria: The varied denizens of the supernatural world, who work for our downfall with their dark powers. These include ghosts, vampires, demons, spirits, poltergeists and tax inspectors.

Mania:

[Calidore]

Mania:. The love of hair

Whistle

[Danik 2016]

Loki: I should start the list with the tax inspectors. The others are much less predatory.

Mania:You can`t stop doing it over and over again. Some manias are harmless others less so.

Hourglass:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Hourglass: No one in the family knew who started the tradition of calling it "our glass," but it had been passed around so many times over three generations that it had acquired an almost genetic resemblance to our matriarch.

Whistle, since Danik dun neglected it

[Pompey Bum]

Whistle: an eerie method dogs have of harassing women without actually making a sound.

Catcall

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Catcall: Colloquial term for the lude, leering whistle with which a man expresses his lustful appreciation of a nearby woman. Less well known is the fact that the catcall originated in the town of Drammen, Norway, in the early 9th Century, when it was found to be effective in luring cats from far and wide, which would then be tossed in the fire or decapitated in the name of making the world a better place.

Dog lover:

[Pompey Bum]

Dog lover: one who sees cats primarily as feeders.

Wiggle room

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Wiggle room: What no politician will utter a word without leaving himself plenty of. Example: "I can neither confirm nor deny." Example: "I have a well-established record on this issue." Example: "I believe in an America that works for Americans who believe in America."

Swill:

[Pendragon]

Swill: The contents of the average public school hot lunch, often served with spoiled milk and worm-ridden apples. The fare at my dear old alma mater was provided exclusively by US Army Surplus. I worked at the school as a janitor/handyman to help pay my way and we loaded the stuff off the Army trucks and into the larder...

Framed:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Swill: The contents of the average public school hot lunch, often served with spoiled milk and worm-ridden apples. The fare at my dear old alma mater was provided exclusively by US Army Surplus. I worked at the school as a janitor/handyman to help pay my way and we loaded the stuff off the Army trucks and into the larder...

I'm having visions of an eleven-year-old Pendragon in janitor's smock, pushin' a broom in a hall while rich kids spit and sneer at him. What do you mean you had to pay your way at public school with a job as a janitor/handyman? :eek6:

What was your word? Frigate? Frigid? Uh, how about Frigate: a ship that simultaneously keeps eggs fresh.

Kaboom:

[Danik 2016]

Pendragon: I didn´t know North American public schools also served ruined hot lunches at public school. In my city we are having a kind of public school hot lunch gate, with the kids recently occupying schools and marching to the the local council(assembly).

Kaboom:1-Chewing gum explosion sound;2-Other explosions sound;3-Explosive comments.

Arrrgh!

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Arrrgh! = Not the sound you want your girlfriend to make while you're giving her what you believe to be intense pleasure.

Flotsam:

[Pendragon]

I'm having visions of an eleven-year-old Pendragon in janitor's smock, pushin' a broom in a hall while rich kids spit and sneer at him. What do you mean you had to pay your way at public school with a job as a janitor/handyman? :eek6

I was working there from 9th Grade until 12th grade. It was a job created by the Government to help poor families with kids willing to work. It was two hours after school every day, 10 hours per week. In the summer, I worked there 40 hours a week and did anything from using a floor machine to painting the outside window frames and raking the football field.

We were dirt poor. Our house would have ice on the inside walls during the winter. We ate breakfast and lunch at school not because we were fond of the food, but because we were hungry. My job helped, as I paid school fees back in those dark ages, bought my own clothes and school supplies, and collected books. And yeah, the teasing was horrible. I worked the second floor in the evenings, and when it rained the Track Team ran the halls. Taunts, spilled garbage, brooms knocked out of my hand, wedgies--you get the picture. Made me tough.

Flotsam: Floating debris

Jetsam:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

I was working there from 9th Grade until 12th grade. It was a job created by the Government to help poor families with kids willing to work. It was two hours after school every day, 10 hours per week. In the summer, I worked there 40 hours a week and did anything from using a floor machine to painting the outside window frames and raking the football field.

We were dirt poor. Our house would have ice on the inside walls during the winter. We ate breakfast and lunch at school not because we were fond of the food, but because we were hungry. My job helped, as I paid school fees back in those dark ages, bought my own clothes and school supplies, and collected books. And yeah, the teasing was horrible. I worked the second floor in the evenings, and when it rained the Track Team ran the halls. Taunts, spilled garbage, brooms knocked out of my hand, wedgies--you get the picture. Made me tough.

Flotsam: Floating debris

Jetsam:

Holy crap, Pendragon. I never heard of such a thing, at least not since the early 20th Century. Kids doing labor, first of all, and then that you had to pay any part of your schooling personally, instead of it all being publicly funded. Your experience of poverty is more than I'm sure I could withstand. As for the cruelty and overall disgustingness of human beings, doesn't surprise me a bit. If you don't mind my asking, when was this?

Jetsam: Twin brother to flotsam, together they terrorized the southland with tommy guns blazing and Packards tearing away from the scenes of one bank robbery after another.

Spoiled, obnoxious rich kids who should be kicked in the how's your father:

[Pendragon]

Holy crap, Pendragon. I never heard of such a thing, at least not since the early 20th Century. Kids doing labor, first of all, and then that you had to pay any part of your schooling personally, instead of it all being publicly funded. Your experience of poverty is more than I'm sure I could withstand. As for the cruelty and overall disgustingness of human beings, doesn't surprise me a bit. If you don't mind my asking, when was this?



I graduated in 1979, so this ran from fall 1975- Summer 1978. My senior year I worked 30+ hours a week at the new Hardee's in town. This is small town SW Virginia. We paid fees for school my entire run. I believe they were cut out sometime in the 80's. My dad took off in 1965, the year I would turn five. He did not pay his child support. My mother worked for rich people doing housework. We finally made it to Government Sponsored Housing (i.e. tenement apartments) in 1974, so heat and cold were no longer a problem, and we ate a lot better. Most of my life we did not own a car. We walked. A cab was a luxury reserved for grocery day. It was two miles, perhaps more, to the school. I ran home every evening. In the summer I rode a bike both ways. When mom did get a car, (only because I could drive) she reserved it for going to and from church, the stores, and relatives. I walked to work even at the Hardee's.

I know people have trouble believing me. You know me by now, Cheddar. I raise my hand to the Good Lord that this is true.

Oh and a definition. Are we playing backwards, all of a sudden?

Spoiled, obnoxious rich kids who should be kicked in the how's your father: Brats

Punk:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

No need to convince me, Pendragon, I believe you. Perhaps, though, if we wish to continue this discussion, we should start a thread in the Serious Discussions area and get back to goofing off here. ;-)

Punk: Music which in its pure and original form I will probably never like, but whose attitude contributed mightily to much music that I love.

Smegma:

[Pompey Bum]

Frigate: what you say when the boat is late and you decide to fly.

Smegma: molten rock beneath the earth's crust. Only really, really disgusting.

Sphinx

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Sphinx: 1) A thing whose nose irritated Napoleon pretty darn bad, apparently, and 2) a thing whose penetration, when captured on video, can fetch a pretty penny. Or so I've heard.

Louis Reard (and if you say "I'll bet he did" someone might get hurt):

[Pendragon]

Louis Reard: The guy responsible for damning the male humans by inventing a bikini. He was finally beaten by whoever changed the bottom to a thong. (Ave Padre, mea culpa mega!)

Twist:

[tailor STATELY]

twist: dance back in the day with a Checkered past; associated with Sisters when used as an adjective (Twisted); an integral part of tweeking

checker:

[Pendragon]

checker: A single red or black playing piece in what seems to be a hugely popular although immensely boring board game 2) the person responsible for loosing your luggage at the airport 3) A chubby singer/dancer from yesteryear. 4) to examine closely a female

Languish:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Languish: Based on Edgar Rice Burrough's classic of the same name, The Languish Time Forgot is a 1975 film that tells the tale of survivors of a British passenger liner torpedoed by a German U-Boat, who end up on the island of Caprona, where dinosaurs and Neanderthals still reign.

Ostrich:

[tailor STATELY]

Ostrich: (a) a political party predominately popular in the HELPUSa (b) a large bird introduced to California in 1883 for use in the fashion industry; now used as a domesticated animal for consumption http://www.ostrichgrowers.com

Domesticated:

[Pendragon]

Domesticated: Basically to have one's self emasculated, if only figuratively.

Gender:

[Danik 2016]

Gender: Since Adam and Eve a matter for discrimination.

Ali Baba-

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Ali Baba: A guy admire not only because he had a slave girl, but his slave girl was so cool she defended him from a band of thieves. Now that's what I call living.

Concubine:

[Pendragon]

Concubine: Old fashioned term for the modern "friends with benefits"

Wrong side of the blanket:

[Danik 2016]

Wrong side of the blanket: In my country we say hopping over the fence.

Sliding gender:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Sliding Gender: Hm. Today this could mean anything from a complete Bruce-->Caitlyn Jenner transfiguration, to a person who slips between genders (and garments) as the mood strikes him/her, to something that only happens in Brazil. ;-)

Zippity Doo Dah:

[Danik 2016]

To your ilustrous information T. C. (Brazil has enough slidings to be credited with this one too )
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/23/gender-fluid-generation-young-people-male-female-trans

Zippity Doo Dah: Inocent baby prattle, or not!

Zanzibar:

[Pendragon]

Zanzibar: 1) Zanzibar Archipelago in the Indian Ocean, 25–50 kilometers off East African country of Tanzania 2) A name thrown into a pulp or adventure novel because it sounds exotic, like Timbuktu.

Kommunizma:

[Danik 2016]

Kommunizma: The Russian wife of Mr. Communism

Monument:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Monument: Why, thank you, Danik. I didn't know you'd noticed. :D Alright, alright. Monument: What them four faces on Mt. Rushmore am.

Homograph: (and don't get cute)

[Danik 2016]

Homograph(Not getting cute ): 1-"A homograph is a group (usually a pair) of words that are spelled the same way, but have different meanings."examples.yourdictionary.com
(Getting cute): Homo sapiens register of his greatness

Parafernalia:

[Pendragon]

Parafernalia: 1) Two fernalia 2) misspelling of paraphernalia, which is equipment tailored to a particular use. For example a dictionary is considered vital paraphernalia for those who play word games... 3) What rugby players call American Football shoulder pads and other protective gear




Chiasmus:

[Danik 2016]

Ok, ok, Pendragon, I didn´t look this one up. I know you thrive on my mistakes :D.

Chiasmus:1- Married to Lady Chiasma. 2-A rhetorical device resulting of inverted parallelism in a sentence. Example: "Men should work to live and not live to work."

Parallelism:

[tailor STATELY]

Parallelism: The ability to walk between railroad track rails and never notice a train.

Train:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Train: 1) Possibly the worst band in history and one whose ubiquitous hit song tragically never stops being played, 2) a conveyance of which Agatha Christie made legendary use, and 3) something the luxury version of which I hope to take through the Canadian Rockies one day--preferably accompanied by a girl of such staggering apportionment as to require the door to our cabin to be specially widened ere we depart.

Blissful:

[Pendragon]

Danik--I love to kid people, don't mind me. I screw up worse than most myself! http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-f_hL404zo0A/U-V-eezHDpI/AAAAAAAALeY/6ZNs6S331Sk/s1600/praying-smiley.png

Blissful: Full of good cheer and possibly good wine

Obsequious:

[tailor STATELY]

Obsequious: obviously sequencing vowels incorrectly in a groveling manner

Groveling:

[Danik 2016]

Cute emoji!It´s all right, Pen! ;)

Obsequious: 1-someone sequious of obs; 2-Bootlicker or apple-polisher

Thumbnail:

[Danik 2016]

Concomitant, Taylor!

Groveling: 1-Being obsequious. 2-Sounds of a bad humoured animal

Thumbnail:

[tailor STATELY]

lol

Thumbnail: 1) The chitinous covering of a digit of the hand 2) An affliction caused by hammertoe

Digit:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Digit: A now uncommon but once ubiquitous expression of enthusiasm for a thing, or an urging to check said thing out, I still use this phrase all the time. Viz: "I dig it," or "Now dig this." "Now can you dig it," too, is my way of soliciting your attention as I cue up a piece of music which, while supremely groovy, the young'ns wouldn't dig any more than my vernacular.

Thumbnail: a misleading still photo, usually of a woman's breasts, used to trick the unsuspecting (not me, of course) into clicking on a YouTube video, thus generating views (i.e., ad revenue) for the YouTuber in question. Invariably the video turns out to be about growing yams, and in addition to disappointment you feel like a total schmuck. Such inviting still photos used in this manner are known as 'click bait.' Again, I'm just going by what I've heard.

Disingenuous:

[Pendragon]

Disingenuous: Speech that one thinks is funny but is without candor or wit of any kind. 2) To speak bad of the ingenuous


Pantechnicon:

[tailor STATELY]

Pantechnicon: The Pantechnicons were of the order of Hephaestus who left the earth anciently to colonize the stars with all of their belongings and peoples in generation ships; some of them have returned.

Progressive:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Progressive: 1) an auto insurance company whose spokeswoman is talented but, jeez louise, enough is enough, and 2) nickname for a political ideology. Note how adroitly I avoid any commentary on said ideology. :smilewinkgrin:

Pendragon, was that 'disingenuous' remark aimed at me?

Dirk Gently:

[Danik 2016]

highjacking:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Don't you like Dirk Gently, Danik? ;-)

Highjacking: What lowlifes and knuckle-draggers have long since done to our civilization.

Dirk Gently:

[Danik 2016]

Sorry, T. C. Was sure I had answered it. Bit of a mix up at midnight!

Dirk Gently: Detective in Douglas Adams book. Didn´t have the honour of a personal introduction.

Lollipop:

[tailor STATELY]

Lollipop: 1) a confectionery treat on a stick often in the form of a large colourful wheel 2) wikipedia - "The Lollipop Guild was a group of Munchkins in the Munchkin Country, who welcomed Dorothy Gale to Oz with song and dance (while holding their lollipops) upon her arrival"

Guild:

[Calidore]

Guild: An association consisting of creatures that can breathe underwater.

Ulcer

[Pompey Bum]

Ulcer: a British name for Northern Ireland.

Tornado

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Tornado: As famous for the words "Rich, Corinthian leather" as for playing Mr. Rourke on Fantasy Island, Tornado Montalban was an effete if lovable poser, who made a career out of a series of affectations. He later croaked.

Khan Noonien Singh:

[Danik 2016]

Khan Noonien Singh: An failed attempt to comunicate in Korean.

Parachute: