Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

[Pendragon]

Expunge: To use white-out on juvenile records. The charges are still there and white-out will come off, as many a defendant has found in court when this supposedly "expunged" record is still used against them

juvenile:

[YesNo]

Juvenile: A fancy word for a child in a legal context and when it is used you hope it is not your child. It can also be used to describe an adult whom one would like to portray as acting like a child who could use some punishment.

Fancy:

[Pendragon]

Fancy: 1) Posh 2) to like really well

Here's you a word I found in a new Sherlock Holmes collection.

Defenestrated:

[mona amon]

Defenestrated: Thrown out the window by a person with an excellent vocabulary.

Pious:

[Pendragon]

Pious: General demeanor of a Sunday congregation in some churches after having been out carousing on Friday and Saturday night. Designated by enthusiastic precipitation in songs, responsive Bible reading, and wide-eyed following of the sermon, perhaps with amens and applause.

Ululation:

[YesNo]

Ululation: A word the very sound of which makes one suspect that the people involved are either doing or having something done to them that is particularly nasty.

Nasty:

[Pendragon]

Nasty: Any visual, audible, aroma, taste, or feel of something that makes you run for something to either throw up in, smash whatever is making the noise, open a window and turn on a fan, spit into the trashcan, or to jump in a hot shower.

Ululation: Howling Heh!

Anthropomorphous:

[YesNo]

Anthropomorphous: A view that other forms of consciousness are similar to our own and what it’s like to be them isn’t too different from what it’s like to be us.

hijack:

[Calidore]

Hijack: The most common response to "Hi, Jill."

Habanero

[Pendragon]

Habanero: Spanish for "Holy Moses! This thing is Hot!!!"

Despondent:

[mona amon]

Despondent: 1. State of mind of the respondent of long questionnaires and application forms.
2. The depressed respondent in a divorce suit.
Epiphany

[Pendragon]

Epiphany: A glorious breakthrough such as the moment one realizes that humanity as a whole are a herd of asses.

Breakthrough:

[YesNo]

Breakthrough: Another glorious experience when you finally realize that what you thought you knew in the past was pile of bull.

Glorious:

[Pendragon]

Glorious: Fancy

Depleted:

[tailor STATELY]

Depleted: 1) Full conversion & harmony with Flatland 2) Diminished, as in the case for DU ordinance and armor: where the fissile isotope U-235 is 0.3% or less (normally ~ 0.7%).

Fissile:

[mona amon]

Fissile: A missile which goes pfffffisssst and explodes a few feet away from the take-off point.

Income tax:

[Lokasenna]

Income tax: State-sponsored theft.

Equality:

[Pendragon]

Equality: A pipe dream often espoused by politicians which actually means that all men are equal as long as the man in question has a certain skin color, social status, net value, etc. We the poor and the middle class are equal to each other, and should listen to our betters. The feudal system is alive and well.

Middle Ages:

[YesNo]

Middle Ages: Those years when a sports car looks like a valuable investment.

Investment:

[Pendragon]

Investment: Betting both ends against the middle that the money you give to develop an idea, an invention, or to start up a business will pay off. It usually doesn't, but then there's things like Facebook and Twitter that have made their investors obscenely rich

Foul:

[tailor STATELY]

Foul: 1) opposite of fair 2) infraction 3) odious 4) homophone/heterograph for "fowl" 5) perfect rhyme for "owl" (a fowl)

owl

[YesNo]

Owl: A form of night bird with eyes and ears facing forward and not on the sides of the head like a normal bird allowing it to have binocular vision and hearing like we have. It also prefers standing more upright than something more bent over and water loving like a seagull. It seems wise which makes you wonder if there might be something wrong with it.

Wise:

[Pendragon]

Wise: Possessed of knowledge. This is not a another word for smart, as you may possess knowledge that is totally worthless, such as trivia about the TV shows of the past four decades. Try putting that on a résumé!

Résumé:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Resume': A type of clear soup made from richly flavored stock or bouillon that has been clarified, a process which uses egg whites to remove fat and sediment. Sorry, that's consomme. Resume: That thing wot you use to get a job.

Pendragon, how do you do superscript characters like you did with resume? Also, I must disagree with you as to the definition of wisdom. I would say wisdom is not the possession of knowledge, but an insight into the essential nature of things, such as you will possess when reflecting back on an experience long afterwards.

Squash--and go there, my friends. Go there.

[tailor STATELY]

Résumé: An odious written affair oft laced with lies predicated on the need for a good, honest, job.

Oops, too late.

Squash: 1) Puréed substance given by mothers to their babies; a taste not often revisited in youth but perhaps in adulthood 2) game which appears to be a combination of tennis and handball played inside a cube.

Puréed:

As for accents etc. you can use alt codes https://www.google.com/search?num=100&newwindow=1&client=opera&hs=MHz&q=alt+codes&oq=alt+codes&gs_l=serp.3...92024.94819.0.95284.10.9.0.0.0.0.0.0 ..0.0....0...1c.1.64.serp..10.0.0.0.aduuRixZ9L8 if your keyboard allows them, or google and cut and paste in a pinch Example: https://www.google.com/search?num=100&newwindow=1&client=opera&q=resume&oq=resume&gs_l=serp.3..0i131l5j0l3j0i131j0.1330675.1332595.0 .1333752.7.7.0.0.0.0.984.984.6-1.1.0....0...1c.1.64.serp..6.1.983.0.UvCcTeIR92E . My keyboard doesn't allow alt codes (HP Pavilion dv6) but I can use a virtual keyboard for some. Example: ALT 3 (alt key depressed same time 3 depressed on a keyboard with dedicated number keypad or virtual keypad) = ♥. Special characters can also be generated by word processing proggies and cut and pasted, and within Windows http://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/forum/windows_vista-hardware/using-alt-codes-on-laptop-without-num-lock/0cafea87-6ab0-414d-bbb0-e888a324c368?auth=1 and Mac utilities http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Symbols-on-a-Mac.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Job: This guy who got stuck in the belly of a whale...Oh, OK, I won't do it. Job: A bleedin' annoying waste of time, a soul-killing consignment to drudgery, a bleak exhaustion of one's life's energy...I'll stop there, eh what? Let's hope the bots and AIs take over all the labor soon, leaving us free to sip tea and play The Sims IV: Unlicensed Surgery.

And your definition of résumé was cute, tailor--lying to get an honest job. ;-) But you neglected the word I proffered.

[tailor STATELY]

I edited my post and answered a question you posed (previous page). :)

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pendragon]

Pendragon, how do you do superscript characters like you did with resume? Also, I must disagree with you as to the definition of wisdom. I would say wisdom is not the possession of knowledge, but an insight into the essential nature of things, such as you will possess when reflecting back on an experience long afterwards.


Write your post in Word® first, and use Insert Symbol to make the é à ç ö etc!

And by the way, Jonah was the dude in the whale, Job was the guy who lost everything and stayed true to God. I would say the man with patience, but whoever thought up the terms "the patience of Job" obviously never read the book!

Squash: To ruthlessly dismiss an idea, such as someone's definition of a word! hee! Just Kidding!

Nobody:

[YesNo]

Puréed: Take your favorite food groups, such as, pizza, donuts or ice cream, and put them in a food processor. There should be a button somewhere to start the food processor. Press it. Don’t forget to put the lid on the processor before you press the start button. Find the stop button or be ready to pull the plug. It probably doesn’t matter when you actually press the stop button because the damage has been done as soon as you pressed the start button. What you ultimately get has been puréed. This will explain why you don’t need a food processor.

Food Processor:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Food processor: My stomach.

Bustier (the garment, not 'busty-er', although you're welcome to make all manner of bawdy puns if you wish--god knows I would)

[YesNo]

Bustier: A form fitting female garment based on the scientific principle that if you blow up a balloon and then squeeze it appropriately around the middle the resulting bulges on the unsqueezed area will attract attention.

Squeeze:

[Pendragon]

Answering my own posted word:

Nobody: The person most blamed for the errors of humanity

Squeeze: 1) To grasp tightly until whatever you are holding bulges out around your hands 2) Significant other "Martha is my main squeeze."

Significant:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Significant: The portion of the female anatomy which becomes prominent when the female in question is squeezed by a bustier is the more heavenward of two portions most significant to males.

Mating:

[YesNo]

Mating: One of the many features of a living organism that guarantees it is not a respectable machine.

Dude/Dudette:

[Pendragon]

Dude/Dudette: New generation all purpose word, generally meaning mate

Infamous:

[YesNo]

Infamous: What happens to bad guys when they get their pictures on Wanted posters.

Bad Guy:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Bad Guy: Ironically, one who is often enough the good guy, but who, because his superior nature threatens the status quo, is labeled the bad guy. Not to be confused with Bald Guy. History is replete with bald heroes and villains alike. I mean, Captain Picard and Professor X were both bald. (See, that was a little joke. Do try and keep up, lads.)

Rug:

[Hawkman]

Rug: the last resort of a bald guy.

Penguinone

[North Star]

Penguinone: It may look like a penguin, but it sure doesn't smell like a penguin.

Cummingtonite:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Cummingtonite: Found in the adult section of your nearest cave.

Interrobang:

[Pendragon]

Interrobang: Flash-bang grenade used to stun a suspect indicated by (‽), as in "I had to toss more'n five (‽) afore Bubba surrendered."

Tilde:

[YesNo]

Tilde: An inebriated, wavy mark supposed to resemble a dash or a minus sign but the creator was inebriated.

Chemical X:

[North Star]

Chemical X: Xenon. Also, the Xerox machine seemed to cut off the e from 'Xe'.

Irrigation:

[YesNo]

Irrigation: Directing water over a body of land so plants get some too. An alternative to hiring a rainmaker.

Rainmaker:

[Pendragon]

Rainmaker: One who claims a mystical ability to make it rain, usually by dancing (Hopi Native Americans), praying (evangelicals), or seeding clouds (scientists). The reliability of any of these methods is questionable, as even science sometimes cannot force Mother Nature to do anything She doesn't want to do

Mother Nature:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Mother Nature: A towering woman with a wreath of garlands in her hair, known for summoning lightning and uttering the phrase "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature."

Allusion:

[Pendragon]

Allusion: Referring to something in a round-a-bout way, politically correct "The reporter gave the allusion that Donald Trump is bat sh*t crazy."

Snide:

[YesNo]

Snide: An angel hiding behind a bad mood.

Adult:

[Hawkman]

Adult: a person with the body of an eighty year old and the mind of a pubescent teen.

Formaldehyde:

[Pendragon]

Formaldehyde: A prime ingredient in embalming fluid and certain destructive recreational drugs. No wonder they kill people.

Recreational Drug:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Recreational Drug: Something apparently taken by both those eighty-year-olds, as evidenced by their conversation, and those teens, who with seemingly no effort remain fit, trim and radiant. I want some.

And not a one of you got my Mother Nature allusion. I'm disappointed, lads, the wedding's off.

Bowdrill:

[YesNo]

Bow drill: An instrument used to start a fire in primitive times which is why they didn’t smoke.

Smoke:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Smoke: Something I used to do, cigars, that is, but gave up for my health.

Fire:

[Pendragon]

Fire: Source of light, heat, and third degree burns caused by combustible materials, oxygen, and a spark

Combustible:

[Hawkman]

an easily broken comb.

television

[Nikhar]

Television : Another name for one-time seers. Because they can only tell-a-vision.


Seer

[YesNo]

Seer: Someone with an ability to get information from the environment often that others lack.

Information:

[North Star]

Information: The act of putting on informal attire

Attire:

[Pendragon]

Attire: The round rubber things that connect a motor vehicle to the road.

Rubber:

[tailor STATELY]

Rubber: 1) match or deciding match 2) a galosh 3) prophylactic 4) substance that needs to be vulcanized to be of much use 5) fantasy/drama film http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/rubber/ 6) type of tree plant an ant can't move... but he's got high-igh hopes...

Drama:

[YesNo]

Drama: A play or movie that isn’t funny enough to be a comedy.

Spark:

[Pendragon]

Spark: The usual beginning of a flame. It can be caused by something as simple as two rocks hitting together, flint and steel, striking a match, live electric wires crossing, flipping a cigarette butt, etc.

Flame:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Flame: A huge hit song by Cheap Trick which in the late 80s gave them the long-awaited comeback they'd been seeking. Oh, and this yellow-orange dancing thing that burns logs.

Trick:

[Pendragon]

Trick: 1) to deceive 2) service by a lady of the evening

Lady of the Evening:

[Dark Muse]

Lady of the Evening: a poetic term for the moon

Necropolis

[Pendragon]

Necropolis: City of the dead. Population 10,000 zombies and Ash Williams

Zombie:

[Dark Muse]

Zombie: Those that roam in large heards within your local mall. They are very slow and seem harmless at first but beware of their large numbers.

Strip Mall:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Strip mall: Something ugly and useless which has been used to pave over every bit of open land in 'Murica, every copse of trees, every expanse of tall grass, every green, quiet place. Their redundancy was always obvious, but so long as the developers could get rich quick putting them up, and were sure to pay off locals pols, no one complained. Now that we're on the verge of drone delivery, so that whatever limited reason for still having storefronts in the age of Amazon will become negligible, the lack of utility of these never-ending strip malls should be apparent to all. But won't be. Boy am I bitter. :-0

Redundancy:

[Calidore]

Redundancy: Repetition

Repetition

[Pendragon]

Repetition: Repeating yourself and talking increasingly louder in the vague hope that if you say it enough and loud enough that man who speaks only Cantonese will suddenly learn English

Vague:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Vague: being the dominant quality of any policy speech given by a candidate during an election.

Knob:

[tailor STATELY]

Vague: 1) sight-rhyme for segue 2) Vague is a fashion and lifestyle magazine that is published monthly for the clueless 3) cloudy with a chance of fog

Segue

Hindsight: (Sigh): Sorry Tyrion Cheddar, I've been rather clueless on my gamesmanship lately. Have no idea how I fumbled this.

:tailor

[Pendragon]

Segue: Torture object created by piano teachers, it means that the next section is to be performed in the manner of the preceding section so that I don't drop from 4/4 time to something else. (Rulers are hard on the fingers when you get off rhythm!)

rhythm:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Rhythm: Something which I first learned as a drummer during my youth, and later with a girl.

Sun-Maid Tropical Dreams dried mango, 'cause I'm eating them:

[Pendragon]

Mango: The oblong, sweet fruit of a tropical tree that is tasty but which humorist and Miami resident Dave Barry says is responsible for a yard defiling condition known as "mango poop."

Defile:

[YesNo]

Defile: To take something pure, decent and perfect and try to improve upon it.

Improvement:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Improvement: The thing which, when you're a person with poor balance like me and you make the mistake of trying to skateboard, you fall on with all the force gravity can exert, the side of your jaw connecting with it as though struck by a sledgehammer. Sorry, that's pavement. Improvement: what local activist committees do to your lovely small town, leaving signs gleefully taking credit for the wreckage.

Signage:

[Pendragon]

Signage: The things that block one's view of natural scenery. For example, there's a place I like to go that has pull-offs for some breath-taking views. People, knowing that hundreds pull over there every day have erected signs advertising this or that that can be seen clearly from the parking lots. Thank you, but if I wanted to see another McDonald's sign I could have stayed home an driven down Main Street...

Pull-Off:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pull-Off: Now, Pendragon, there are so many places I could go with this, but as I've recently been warned to stay away from anything not PC-13, I'll take a detour right around them. Instead, I'll share what this term really means to me as a guitar player, and which gave me a frisson of glee when I read it up above, and that is a technique by which you use the third or fourth finger of the hand with which you push the strings down on the fretboard, to pull down on the string after fretting a note, thus creating another note. Blues, rock 'n' roll, hard rock, most modern forms of music would have had a dubious history without this technique.

Hammer-on:

[tailor STATELY]

Hammer-on:

1) U Can't Touch This / MC Hammer (Hammer-off: Too Legit To Quit)
2) 300 game (Hammer-off: sub-deuce)
3) 86.74 m (Hammer-off: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXNWS5kJagU and variations thereof)

Bowling:

[YesNo]

Bowling: What bowls tend to do when they are in the cupboard and out of sight.

PG-13:

[Pendragon]

PG-13: What would have been R when I was growing up. R is what rated X was back then. NC-17 is what was triple X back then. First thing you know, PG will replace G.

Silent Movie:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Silent Movie: 1) An arse bustingly funny movie by Mel Brooks, 2) the type of pre-Talkie black & white film which the aforementioned parodied.

Talkie:

[YesNo]

Talkie: A widely acclaimed improvement on the silent movie unless you happen to be deaf.

Deaf:

[Pendragon]

Deaf: Inability to hear. It is both a medical condition (people may be born deaf or have their hearing permanently damaged in some way) and a mental one. For example there are those who hear only what they want to hear. We call that "convenient hearing"here. My grandfather suffered from this illness. He couldn't hear you talking face to face in the living room, but a whispered "When is he going home?" in my bedroom would have him madder than a hatter. My kids also had this illness, they couldn't hear me calling for them when they were only a couple dozen feet away, but they could hear "dinner time!"when they were a mile away. My daughter could hear the phone before it rang. Sheesh...

Sight:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Sight: 1) That one of the five senses wot lets you see things, 2) A place featuring loads of HTML, applets, and otherwise impressive technology, all for the purpose of presenting a load of codswallop, 3) A place where construction workers, and soon just a 3D printer, build a building.

Pendragon, it be funny you should tell that tale about your grandfather, as it relates to a thread I may soon be starting under the serious discussions thingy, so keep your eyes open.

Codswallop (if we've done that, substitute bilge, blarney or blatherskite)

[Pendragon]

Codswallop: Nonsense, blarney, bungo, bunk, crap, twattle, etc.

Smell:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Smell: That unfortunate sense which makes you aware of the 80 year olds even if you can't see them.

Irving Berlin:

[Pendragon]

Irving Berlin: The guy we have to blame for everyone being excited about a white Christmas and snow in general

Descartes:

[tailor STATELY]

Descartes: What the dessert carts are commonly called in fancy restaurants.

Restaurant:

[YesNo]

Restaurant: A place with a restroom which is usually free to use provided you purchase some food or drink which means you will need the restroom even more than before, but at least it serves both ends.

End:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

End: What we all come to. Also, something at least half the young girls who go out to Hollywood to become stars eventually make their living with.

Rent:

[YesNo]

Rent: Payment made to use something one doesn’t want to buy outright.

Exercise:

[Pendragon]

Exercise: A distasteful routine that is only good for people already in shape. I mean I can ride my exercise bike and use my heavy bag, but I still am way overweight because losing weight isn't that simple no matter what infomerchials for things like bow-flex say.

Infomercial:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Infomercial: The thing that made Ron Popeil a household name. And Billy Mays. And Jason Vale. And proved a form of employment for countless has-been actors and TV personalities. Spray-on hair, the Ab-Doer, the George Foreman Grill, juicers--stuff you'd never have imagined you needed and yet there you are reading off your credit card number to the person on the phone. Also, something to watch late at night when you're done watching that other thing you watch late at night.

Marketing:

[Pendragon]

Marketing: The Fine Art of Lying

Art:

[YesNo]

Art: The act of monkeying with raw materials that are minding their own business. This is often referred to as “adding value”. The act generates something called an “art object”, or “objet d’art” if one is seeking a premium valuation, which one can try to sell but if unsuccessful, one can always hang it in one’s basement.

Basement:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Basement: That thing which, if you want to have one in the new home you're about to build, and you live in the northeastern United States, you first have to have an inspector come in and check for radon, the gaseous form of radiation seeping up from the center of our globe, and otherwise known as earth farts. Also, if you're a prepper, the basement is where you keep your three hundred tins of Chef Boyardee.

Gaseous:

[Pendragon]

Gaseous: Having the properties of gas such as a bellyache and farts loud enough to stop conversations and smelling enough to require gas masks

Conversation:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Conversation: Something other people expect you to make, thus one of the reasons I avoid other people. Also, women expect a lot of conversation if you want access to their non-verbal parts.

Stinky, being what I am right now. If we've done stinky, substitute malodorous, foul, wretched or oh my freaking god.

[Pendragon]

malodorous: A stench that would drive a lame badger out of its hole

Badger:

[YesNo]

Badger: A small animal that reminds me of a skunk my dog once had an encounter with.

Encounter:

[Pendragon]

Encounter: to meet. There are many kinds of encounters. Close Encounters of the Third Kind means you have ran into Extraterrestrials. Supernatural encounters mean you see, hear, or are touched by ghosts. A Death Fetch encounter means you run into yourself...

Extraterrestrials:

[YesNo]

Extraterrestrials: These are a kind of alien who aren’t coming from Mexico or as refugees from some politically messed up part of the world but who come from outer space and have somehow, because they are so much smarter than we are, overcome the deadly radiation and the immense distance that is supposed to keep them home. They are pictured with big heads showing huge brain capacity and big eyes showing that they see better than we do with laser guns in hand just in case we don’t behave.

Alien:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Alien: Sod the kind that sneaks in from Latin America and elsewhere--my heart goes out to some of those people, so desperate are they, but I'd rather talk about the other kind of aliens, that being ET. I believe so firmly in the search for these buggers and in their discovery within the next few decades that only last night I bought a SETI T-shirt to support their efforts and proudly declare my affinity. And I don't think they'll 'ave big 'eads or carry ray guns, I think they'll come in boats that drift across the stars...

Transcendent:

[Pendragon]

Transcendent: To go beyond anything known or measured; to exceed expectations. Thus the nature of God would transcend human knowledge, yet man believes that he either knows everything or is likely to find out, thus ruining the use of transcendent

Bumbershoot:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Bumbershoot: An umbrella, or a large music faire held in Seattle every year. Thanks for the new word, Pendragon, me droogie.

Tam o'shanter. And no he wasn't the guy slated to play Captain Kirk before that lout Shatner stole the role.

[YesNo]

Tam O’Shanter: A bonnet worn by some Scottish males, probably the same males who wore kilts.

Easter Bonnet:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Easter Bonnet: What Scottish males have to wear when the shoppes are out of Tam O'Shanters. Of course, then they have to wear rouge and be all coquettish like.

Wee lass:

[YesNo]

Wee Lass: A female who lets her Scottish male win an arm wrestling competition.

Arm Wrestling:

[Pendragon]

Arm Wrestling: Contrary to the name, arm wrestling involves more than the arm. I have seen people almost get out of their seat to put body weight behind the arm. Oh, and the limb can and will break. You have been warned.

Behinder, from my neck of the woods, Cheddar old chum!

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Now here I am trying to comply with the PG-13 standard I was warned to comply with, and you go saying 'behinder,' Pendragon, you rogue. Well, I can't be blamed for answering. Or can I. Behinder: Urban Dictionary says it's a Greek person who is known for 'giving it from behind Greek style.' Although one wonders why the person doing the giving has to be Greek. I've heard tell some of our finest Congressmen, on a Saturday night--<cough>--that is...what I mean to say is...Also, some of the manliest members of the Aryan Brotherhood ever to occupy our maximum security prisons are known to favor this form of intimacy with other manly white men...and little boys...and farm animals. Also, there'd be no adult film industry without said approach to loving, and then what would all those young hopeful actresses in Hollywood do to pay the rent.

Going in the tradesman's entrance:

[Pendragon]

Cheddar, here in these Mountains it is a curious creature that stalks one through the woods. You can never see it, because it is always behind you, thus it is called a "behinder". That other definition you gave I have never heard of, and having heard it, I will endeavor to forget it!

Going in the tradesman's entrance: Once this meant you were unworthy of showing up at the front door, as you were not upper crust. Anyone, including people who might actually have an appointment with the Master or Mistress of the house but were not on the same class level would be told to use the Tradesman's Entrance, which was around back or at the side, both not visible from the front door. What it means now I shudder to think...

Upper Crust:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

You certainly can shudder, if you wish, Pendragon, but why not have a bit of fun with it? 'Going in the tradesman's entrance' can indeed be used interchangeably with behinder--or, if you prefer, the title of Led Zeppelin's eighth studio album, In Through the Out Door.

Storming the Trenches:

[YesNo]

Upper Crust: The top, doughy part of a pie that is visible for inspection. It floats above a middle substance which is supported by another doughy part that is just as tasty but not fit for proper display.

Storming the Trenches: Assume your enemy has dug trenches to hide in while they shoot stuff at you. Assume you don’t like this. Assume you don’t have decent aircraft bombers or tanks to cover up the trenches stopping this noxious behavior. Assume none of your own soldiers want to jump in the trenches and fight the enemy hand to hand. Then you call the rainmaker and ask him (or her) to start a rainstorm and keep it going until the storm floods the trenches. Problem solved.

Noxious:

[Pendragon]

Noxious: Foul smelling and foul tasting from aroma de poo to things like corn smut which I thought was inedible until I watched some Chef shows. I stand by my opinion.

Corn Smut:

[YesNo]

Corn Smut: Vegetarian porn. All natural, gluten-free.

Gluten-free:

[Lokasenna]

Gluten-free: Food originally designed for the few poor people whom nature has rendered intolerant to certain staple substances, but now an ill-understood food-craze for the easily lead. For example, the following recent conversation with an elderly relative:

Loka: How about this restaurant? Shall we eat there?
Aged R: Oh no. Their food is nice, but I think it's very gluten-y.
Loka: Really? ...And what exactly is gluten?
Aged R: Well, I don't really know. But I think there's a lot of it in their food.
Loka: And that's a bad thing, is it?
Aged R: Oh yes. Or, at least, I think so.
Loka: So... you have no idea what it is or what it does to you, but you don't want to eat there on the grounds that you think there's a lot of it in that restaurant's food?
Aged R: Yes.

In other words, our species is doomed.

Credibility:

[Pendragon]

Credibility: A quality as rare as hen's teeth among those who pretend to lead this world or are trying to gain public office at any level

Quality:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Quality: something long since banished from the realm, in all arenas, from manufactured goods to art and music and literature to the food we eat. Quality, it seems, is a hindrance to more important values like fame and fortune. Ooh, listen to me preach.

Values:

[tailor STATELY]

Values: Ewes who pursue and imbue clues through shampoos and mousse; eschew fondue and spew hithertos in the valley.

Fondue:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Fondue: I'm not even going to try and equal that, tailor. Fondue's a bunch of warm cheese you poke at with bread skewered on little plastic thingies.

Thingy:

[Pendragon]

Thingy: That which to your embarrassment you cannot remember the name of-- such as when you go into an auto parts store or a hardware shop and have to say "You know the thingy that goes..."

Embarrassment:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Embarrassment: The process of dropping one's trousers.

Moon:

[tailor STATELY]

Moon:

1) Keith
2) One of the names of the only natural "moon" (at this time) somewhat locked in an infinitesimally-increasing orbit, and largest celestial body in the sky (when its period coincides with good viewing conditions) of Sol 3 (or Earth) other than its star (Sol)
3) What cows obsess over (hence moooooooo-n) and jump over on occasion (when the hey diddle-diddles)
4) Used as a calender of sorts by various flora and fauna visually and/or tidally (reference gravity)
5) Ersatz Cold War goal of "conquest" in the 20th century (Sol 3) that never lived up to its hype
6) A full Moon is often used as an excuse for mayhem and/or fantasy

Gravity:

[Dark Muse]

Gravity: A delusion which prevents humans from the ability to fly, in which if one could reach a state in seeing completely through the delison all things would be possible.

Big Bang Theory:

[Pendragon]

Big Bang Theory: 1)The theory that everything started from a random explosion that is still spreading out. The question is who lit the fuse? 2) The theory that rock and roll causes big bangs like the Beetles wore

Rock and Roll:

[Dark Muse]

Rock and Roll: Rock a solid, hard object varying in size and shape naturally formed, roll what happens to said rock when thrown down a hill.

Destiny:

[tailor STATELY]

Destiny: Des tiny stuff like itsy-bitsy spiders

Spiders:

[Lokasenna]

Spider: Abominations made entirely of hair, fangs and legs. Proof-positive that we live in a cruel universe.

Egomania:

[Pendragon]

Egomania: Acting like Donald Trump

Twit:

[YesNo]

Twit: A round object given to you by someone who has asked you for so long to do something and are tired of hearing you say, “I’ll do it, honey, when I get a round twit.”

Abomination:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Abomination: That last joke, YesNo. Don't ever make a bad pun like that without my permission. Or you know what happens.

Painful:

[Pendragon]

Painful: If it is me suffering, the smallest pinprick. For others, broken limbs are "Just a scratch. Walk it off, champ, walk it off"

Pinprick:

[Calidore]

Pinprick: Not at all well endowed.

Talent

[Tyrion Cheddar]

A satisfying bit of repartee, Calidore. Well played.

Talent: Being that which no one who's ever starred on a reality TV show has.

Self-promotion:

[Pendragon]

Self-promotion: To "give yourself airs" or "to be uppity" Example: Donald Trump

Trump:

[YesNo]

Trump: A politician, my wife tells me, who has less than a chance in hell of becoming president, but a better chance than I do.

Chance:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Chance: Originally glazed calico tiles, initially specifically those imported from India, printed in designs featuring flowers and other patterns in different colors, typically on a light plain background. Wait. Sorry, that's chintz. Chance: What a snowball doesn't have in hell, and what I don't have with even one Victoria's Secret model.

Covet:

[Pendragon]

Covet: Strong desire, such as Cheddar has for a Victoria's Secrets model...

Secrets:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Secrets: A great album by legendary guitarist Allan Holdsworth, who I know none of you listen to because none of you is as cool as me. Also, what that Victoria's Secrets models have between their legs. Let's hope it's what we think it is.

Surprise:

[Pendragon]

Surprise: Finding out the pretty girl you have been watching all night is actually a cross-dressing guy. Crocodile Dundee comes to mind.

Pretty:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pretty: What some models are, and yet a surprising number of them really are not, they're just exceptionally tall and long-limbed and have a dramatic sort of look. Also, the thing I live for: prettiness, and beauty. That and pistachio nuts.

Symmetry:

[Pendragon]

Symmetry: That fearful thing that tigers have according to William Blake...

Fearful:

[YesNo]

Fearful: An emotion that overcomes a person while watching the stock market circle the toilet anticipating at any moment that final, swift, explosive burst down the pipes of hell.

Cool:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Cool: What a stock market crash is not, what summer in Queensland definitely is not, and what I, as you all know by now, am the apotheosis of. I was going to say quintessence or embodiment, but that word: apotheosis. I mean.

Modesty:

[YesNo]

Modesty: A range of self-limitation stopping just short of saying one is an apotheosis of something or other.

Apotheosis:

[Pendragon]

Apotheosis: To raise one's self to the level of a God while still denying that God even exists, a conundrum brilliant in its audacity

Audacity

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Audacity: What some people demonstrate superbly when they presume to know who thinks what about God. Not wishing there to be contretemps, Pendragon, and apologies if I've misunderstood you, but what up, G?

G, as in the assignation belched forth by the rap scene of the 90s.

[Pendragon]

G: Musical note, or the first chord beginning guitarists always learn

And Cheddar, I wasn't throwing anything your way, bro, it is just the way of the world these days. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Totally unintended.

Man:

[spikepipsqueak]

Man: Handbag rack for dancing women.






Cellist

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Cellist: I knew a darn pretty one once in college. Also, Yo-Yo Ma. Also a person who draws a bow across four strings.

spikepip, your definition of man is one I intend to repeat in future at social gatherings and pretend I thought of it.

Pendragon, no hurt feelings, I just don't care for it when people get in my face with religion or politics. And I thought the first chord guitarists learned was E. I did. E minor, even, so deep and moody and if you then just learn A Major, you can play Pink Floyd's Breathe for hours and feel pensive and atmospheric.

Moon, as in dark side of.

[YesNo]

Moon, Dark Side of the: That part of one’s butt that didn’t get completely exposed when mooning someone.

Handbag:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Handbag: Something for which innumerable bovines, alligators and who knows what other life forms have, literally, given their hides down through the ages. And well done, too, since some of those humungous designer handbags are works of art. Still more mysterious is the number and variety of objects women fit in them. I knew a gal who carried a government minister in hers.

Toenail Clipper, as in I've got one but can scarcely reach my toes to use it anymore.

[Pendragon]

Toenail Clipper: That item of personal grooming that now resembles a pair of cutting pliers as my toenails thicken as I age. My grandmother (true story) used a hacksaw blade on hers before she passed. She was just shy of 80...

Cheddar: Depends on how you learn the guitar, although I do love E minor! I learned by ear and a book, never had a lesson. I play flat-top well, lead electric not so good, but I can rock a bass with anyone with whom I have ever played music! Friend of mine plays ragtime piano like Jerry Lee Lewis and my bass makes it a great duo!

Grooming:

[Calidore]

Grooming: The process by which a woman prepares a man to become her husband, often without his knowledge.

Husbandry

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Husbandry: An art practiced by women and cattle ranchers with equal deftness, the latter with beasts of the field, the former with guileless men, who are even less aware than Bessie the prize milk cow of the myriad ways they are coaxed, goaded and manipulated by their owners.

Esurience, as in what I feel now and every morning, to the point that if I don't get a bagel soon it's lampshade time.

[YesNo]

Esurience: Being so hungry you could eat a horse. This is one of those words you should not use unless you can pronounce it correctly and the other person expects sounds like that coming from your mouth.

For example,
Bernie: “Hey, honey, pop me another cold one from the fridge, will ya? I’m esurient!
Martha: “What is it, Bernie, you sure you ain’t gonna get? Could it be that beer?”

Horse:

[Pendragon]

Horse: Four legged animal that once was a must for anyone who needed to take a long trip, but are largely decorative in fields around here, standing proud and beautiful but almost never ridden. Also the adorable minis that the guy up the road near the airport raises. About the size of a hound dog.

Hound:

[spikepipsqueak]

Hound (them)!: Job description of those who work in charity or insurance call centres.


smoke

[YesNo]

Smoke: Air pollution.

Humungous:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Humungous: Thanks, YesNo, I wasn't sure you'd noticed. Oh, oh, I see. Sorry. Start again... Humungous: That which is way, way bigger than a breadbox.

Gravity Waves: (heads up, lads, this one tests whether you read other than the funny papers)

[tailor STATELY]

Gravity Waves: 1) Higgs boson on steroids (not literally) 2) What surfers at Mavericks discover 3) What gravy looks like when the gravy boat is shaken

Gravy:

[spikepipsqueak]

1/. The most delicious part of the roast. 2/. The adjective used to describe a large, meticulously squared hole.




Computer

[Pendragon]

Computer: 1) Invention of the Devil for the subjugation of idle minds, offering many ways to waste time or the vice of one's choice 2) Powerful home device that allows me to be in contact with friends the world over such as the fine gentlemen and ladies who are reading this at the moment

Facebook:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Facebook: I must disagree with you, Pendragon, computers are groovy--Facebook is the invention of the devil. Oh goodness me, let me count the ways I hate Facebook. Tis the prime virtual residence and occupation of <insert obscene metaphor for certain kinds of people> the world over, who annoy you with photos you never wanted to see and stories and quips they think are hilarious but are more akin to bovine effluvia. Tis also the home of more forms of intrusive advertising and spying and trading on your surreptitiously gathered personal data than one could wiggle a zucchini at. I bleedin' hate the buggers.

Auto-eroticism:

[YesNo]

Auto-eroticism: What an artificially intelligent computer uses to turn itself on.

Idle:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Idle: One of the Pythons, responsible for most of their songs, such as the Money song, I'm a Lumberjack (and I'm OK), the Universe song, etc. Undoubtedly the most active of the troupe, certainly in recent years, having written and produced numerous musicals and shows, including Spam-a-lot.

Spam:

[YesNo]

Spam: A food of suspicious origin.

bovine effluvia:

[spikepipsqueak]

What comes out of a cow after a night on the town, drinking Bullshots and human tipping.




Tired

[Pendragon]

Tired: What you are after another night of whatever you do to amuse yourself. For example, my eyes are still tired from reading up to four books a day and writing reviews.

Amuse:

[YesNo]

Amuse: Wasting time in a pleasant manner.

Sick and Tired (sometimes pronounced "sick and tarred". I've even heard "sick and turd".)

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Sick and tarred...of living in a world full of wankers.

Drawl:

[Pendragon]

Drawl: Adopting an accent like John Wayne's. This was most out of place in The Greatest Story Ever Told. Wayne is the Centurion at the cross of Christ and famously drawls "Truly this man was the son of Gawd!"

Out of place:

[YesNo]

Out of Place: What the stuff cluttering my desk looks like at the moment.

Human Tipping:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Human Tipping: What cows will do when they evolve and rule the world. This is likely if the cattle industry keeps feeding them cyber feed cooked up in a lab. Of course, if we keep eating said cow meat, we are likely to devolve into cows. Works out.

Planet of the Apes. Or cows, take your pick.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Human Tipping: What cows will do when they evolve and rule the world. This is likely if the cattle industry keeps feeding them cyber feed cooked up in a lab. Of course, if we keep eating said cow meat, we are likely to devolve into cows. Works out.

Planet of the Apes. Or cows, take your pick.

[Pendragon]

Planet of the Apes: Strictly speaking, Earth

Cows: Two lookers, two hookers, four stand uppers, four dangle-downers, and a swishy-wishy!

Horseradish:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Horseradish: What horses and radish will evolve into after years of transgenic experiments by geneticists trying to breed a super soldier. These fearsome half-horse, half-radish creatures will gallop across the plain, striking bad breath into the hearts, and noses, of the enemy. Also the kids can ride them at the petting zoo for four bucks and feed them...what do you feed a horse that's half vegetable?

Fearsome:

[YesNo]

Fearsome: Like handsome except for the fear component.

Cyber:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Cyber: Like food, except made out of high-tech chemicals.

Organic:

[Pendragon]

Organic: Defined by having once been alive. Organic gardening involves feeding plants the remains of other plants and animal material. Might also be described as having the properties of a organ. Some loon on a fence howling like a Hammond at full volume springs to mind

Alive:

[YesNo]

Alive: The state of being no different from Frankenstein’s monster. For example, “It’s alive!”

Organic Gardening:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Organic Gardening: Something which in principle I agree with, but there are problems with it. <clears throat, prepares for dissertation> One, not all chemicals used to protect plants from bugs and parasites are necessarily bad; same with genetic modification. Each one has to be taken on a case by case basis, and examined objectively using credible science, free from political agendas. Second, the selection of organic veggies at my local supermarket is paltry, and the veggies often look like Steve Rogers before he was subjected to vita-radiation and got all buff and Captain America-like. Thirdly, hippies, hippies, HIPPIES! God, I hate hippies, and as soon as you whisper "Organic...", it's like a magic spell that draws hippies like flies. Which they have enough of hovering around them 'cause they object to bathing or washing their hemp clothing in detergent. Or at all.

Olive Garden:

[YesNo]

Which they have enough of hovering around them 'cause they object to bathing or washing their hemp clothing in detergent. Or at all.

I have a theory that something can only smell so bad. After a certain point the human brain shuts down the stimulus. The only time that theory has been challenged is when my dog insisted on chasing that skunk.


Olive Garden: Olive Oyl’s vegetable patch where Popeye’s favorite organic, gluten-free, non-GMO spinach was grown. She had a canning factory near by.

Hippie:

[North Star]

Hippie: A Bostonian delicacy, created by a surgeon thinking of creative ways to recycle medical waste.

Medical waste:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Medical waste: What's left over after a person receives nationalized health care.

May I also say that the previous two definitions, North Star and YesNo, were exceptional. I wiggle my toes at you in appreciation.

Galaxy S7, being the new premiere phone from Samsung to be announced in days, and which I can't wait to get my greedy little paws on--although, in fairness, my existing phone is dying. But I'm still greedy.

[Pendragon]

Galaxy S7: Home galaxy of the Technocrats, beings which exist only for technology. They are very human looking except they have as much new tech as they can carry and are often texting on a phone that could take the place of their computer, while listening to music via the most recent i-pod thingy (which they verbally command to play a preset playlist) and scrolling the internet on the latest mega-tri-gig tablet, which also responds to voice control. They worship at the altar of X-box and Wii.

Non-tech-savvy:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Non-tech-savvy: The great gray army, that being the shuffling mass of old people who now cover America like a blanket. They shuffle towards you with their phones held out intoning "Help me..." in a rasping mummy-like voice. Don't help them, I say. Let them stagger about until the batteries in their pacemakers run out. Of course, I will soon be one of them, in the sense the VR technology and lots of other new gear is coming and I doubt the kids will be inclined to assist me with learning it.

Oculus:

[Pendragon]

Oculus: A symbol depicting an eye, such as the Egyptian Eye of Ra or The All Seeing Eye on the back of an American Dollar, said to be related to Freemasons, which is likely, since most of the founding fathers were Masons.

Oculus Malus:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Oculus Malus: The Evil Eye, said to confer warts, bad luck or uncontrollable flatulence upon the victim. I may have made that last one up.

Phallus Cranium:

[YesNo]

Phallus Cranium: One of the reasons why pig Latin is no longer taught in schools.

Flatulence:

[tailor STATELY]

Flatulence: What flatlanders bring to the hill/mountain folk.

Flatlander:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Flatlander: Not nearly as cool as Highlander. He has a sword and lives forever.

Decapitate:

[Calidore]

Decapitate: To correct another's manners by removing his hat for him.

Sweetheart

[Pendragon]

Sweetheart: Term of endearment used when one's spouse is really angry, thus: "Did you take out the trash, Sweetheart?!!"

Spouse:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Spouse: Something I've managed to avoid this long, and will probably avoid from here on out.

Scratching post:

[tailor STATELY]

Scratching post: 1) When one has cats it is your furniture and anything else found appropriate by said cats; also true for bears.

Nature:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Nature: that ineluctable force which every spring, makes us start looking for a scratching post.

Chew toy:

[spikepipsqueak]

Pork rinds, if one is happy. One's nearest and dearest, when things aren't going well.





Dearest.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Dearest: Sometimes prefaced with the appellation Mommie, in which case it refers to one o' them psycho mothers who butchers her children with a steak knife in the name of love. In former British commonwealth countries, dearest can also mean most expensive. Also, when a man has behaved seriously badly or wants the forbidden kind of sex, he is wont to refer to his better half as "My dearest..."

Capacious:

[Pendragon]

Capacious: Suddenly compelled to do something for reasons you cannot explain. Probably the reason for the expression "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

Seriously:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Seriously, Pendragon, that's the strangest definition of capacious I ever did hear.

Commodious:

[Pendragon]

Commodious: Roomy enough to even contain mistakes made when spell-check alters a word into another, which is what happened above.

Foreboding:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Foreboding: A pervasive sense of imminent doom, as when a feminist opens her mouth and you know a tirade of scolding, rebuke and moral instruction is about to be hurled at you like a jet of flame from a dragon's jaw--at which point the dragon seems preferable. At least it's over quickly.

Termagant:

[YesNo]

Termagant: A person who reminds you that if Hillary Clinton is not elected president this time around you will never hear the end of it.

Dragon:

[Pendragon]

Dragon: Lovable old Uncle Pen in the other dimension! Remember all the old King of the Hill battles we used to have, when the Dragon regularly burned the hill down?

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Dragon.gif

Feather-Brain:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Feather Brain: A stupid person. I am tempted at this juncture to launch into a series or sarcastic but pithy remarks about this year's melange of scintillating presidential candidates, but I shall refrain in the interests of keeping the peace. Mind you, YesNo, your definition of termagant gets my vote. <gives two thumbs up>

Melange:

[Pendragon]

Mélange: A mixture or melody, a good example being the current mélange of incompetent Presidential hopefuls that make anarchy sound good right now.

Anarchy:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Anarchy: Preferable to that toupee'd 'tard Trump, that fossilized fallopian Hillary, or that geriatric Trotskyite Sanders. Also popular in Europe 'round the turn of the 20th century, creating many employment opportunities for bomb makers.

NukAlert, as in this $150 key chain which will keep you safe from nuclear annihilation and death by radiation by chirping when you're standing in high levels of it. http://www.survivalunlimited.com/nuclearprotection/nukealert.htm

[Pendragon]

NukAlert: A small, portable radiation detector which should come with the proviso "If you hear this thing go off, you are already dead..."

Proviso:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Proviso: "Anyone carrying NukAlert on his key chain is a prepper 'tard who own more weapons than many a small nation's military and plans to barter his daughters for provisions when the Apocalypse comes. You have been warned."

Sunday:

[Lokasenna]

Sunday: The seventh day of the week, notable for being the day on which God rested after creating the universe; this suggests that either He is not omnipotent, or else that he is bound by the EU Working Time Directive.

Red tape:

[Pendragon]

Red tape: Cousin to the Devil, Red Tape is always getting the blame for nothing being accomplished, when the real problem is that people refuse to use common sense or work for what they want. The Devil is also blamed for a lot of things with which He had nothing to do at all. People are evil! They don't require help to be worse.

The Prince of Darkness:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

The Prince of Darkness: Someone who is so good at a thing, he strikes fear in all other practitioners, so that with fear and trembling they refer to him as such. Also, the Devil, my favorite character in the Bible and in Milton's Paradise Lost. When he uttered the immortal words "Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven," he became my hero.

Rebel:

[Danik 2016]

Rebel: someone who thinks he/she´s going to change the world, but in fact is insatisfied with his/her own navel.
And while we are at it:
Revolution:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Revolution: "The wheels on the bus go round and round..." ;-) Also a planet revolving on its axis. Also a world changing song by the Beatles. Also Thomas Jefferson said a little revolution every now and then is a good thing. Periodically, a system or government or other authority becomes so corrupt or otherwise intolerable that revolution becomes necessary, as America's forefathers indicated with their actions.

Purple Haze:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Revolution: "The wheels on the bus go round and round..." ;-) Also a planet revolving on its axis. Also a world changing song by the Beatles. Also Thomas Jefferson said a little revolution every now and then is a good thing. Periodically, a system or government or other authority becomes so corrupt or otherwise intolerable that revolution becomes necessary, as America's forefathers indicated with their actions.

Purple Haze:

[YesNo]

Purple Haze: What your brain looks like after a girl puts her spell on you.

Navel:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Navel: The scar wot is left over after the doctor goes snip and cuts the umbilical cord. Also a type of orange which disturbingly has a partially developed fruit inside like a conjoined twin, and yet we eat them. I certainly have. Navel has also traditionally been said to be what you stare at during moments of boredom or awkwardness. And I'm rather fond of my navel, Danik, and yet am still a rebel at heart. I understand your point but think there's more to being a rebel than dissatisfaction with oneself.

Cheese grater:

[Pendragon]

Cheese grater: Very much like a manure spreader, it scatters little bits of cheese all over everywhere, making some of the most profound comments and dearest held beliefs sound a bit cheesy. This is why so many politicians use one at all times, as any perusal of the "fact checker" site will show--thus making the US Constitution, Declaration of Independence, The Bible, and other truths we hold dear sound like whatever brand of cheese the politician is selling.


Belief:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Belief: A self-confirming theory. Leads to error, delusion, and is inimical to self-awareness. Can make a person anything from annoying to pigheaded to downright dangerous. People locked into a belief whose righteousness they are convinced of have left a trail of ruin and blood throughout history.

Really stinky cheese, of the kind that, for some reason, a lot of women seem to like:

[YesNo]

Stinky Cheese: An expensive cheese requiring an educated palate in order to prevent the nose from objecting when the cheese is raised just below it and inserted into the mouth.

Ruin:

[tailor STATELY]

deleted

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Deleted, tailor, old man? No response to YesNo's thingy? Oh well, I shall respond to Deleted, then. Deleted: A thing which may or may not previously have existed, but whose absence now leaves only the testimony of some.

Moneybags:

[Pendragon]

Moneybags: Wallets for the 1%

The 1%:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

The 1%: Ostensibly, a deliberate elite, manufactured through nefarious means, those who illicitly obtain virtually all wealth, have all political power, which they use to keep the remaining <does math quickly on fingers> 99% down. This narrative tends to inspire people to stand outside near Wall Street for years at a time, texting with one hand while sipping lattes with the other, all while protesting the injustice of it all.

Dupe:

[YesNo]

Dupe: Someone who doesn’t currently know that he's clueless.

Wall Street:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Wall Street: Famous financial center of New York and America, and in some larger sense the world. The name is derived from the Dutch "de Waal Straat" from when New York was called New Amsterdam under those goofy Dutchies with their multiple consecutive vowels. Mind you, I 'ad me a right old time in Amsterdam when I was there--and no I didn't inhale. I put that stuff away years ago. I did, however, ride a boat round the canals.

Inhale:

[YesNo]

Inhale: What Bill Clinton supposedly didn’t do, but if you think about it, it is kind of hard to exhale without inhaling first.

Pigheaded:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pigheaded: Either a) resembling a pig in the cranial department, or b) stubborn as a mule. Note the abundance of farm animal imagery.

Horse sense:

[Lokasenna]

Horse sense: A power used by Spider-man's slightly less successful cousin, Horse-man. While Spidey spends his days swinging around New York, Horsey (or 'Dobbin' as he is affectionately known) befouls the pavements of Doncaster. His horse-sense grants him the ability to smell hay from up to five feet away, and to role energetically on his back when he thinks no one is watching. He also has a tendency to kick anyone who stands directly behind him, meaning that his crime-fighting escapades only really work if he can reverse into criminals.

Bakewell pudding:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Lokasenna, that was the best, most clever, inventive one we've had yet. It is the sort of thing I joined this site to enjoy. Now confess that you are, in fact, Dobbin. That's right, take off the horse suit, pull that felt and chicken wire horse head right off and show us your beaming face. There's a good lad, and here's a Bakewell pudding to reward you.

Bakewell pudding: An English dessert consisting of a flaky pastry base with a layer of sieved jam (whatever that is, I'm getting this from Wikipedia) and topped with a filling made of egg and almond jam. Forgive me if I clutch my stomach and control an urge to heave. Ick. You English and your weird foods. Do you have Bakewell pudding after pea-prosciutto sandwiches? Or anchovy-lemon butter? Heave, I tell you. Spew!

Biscuit, being a far more simple, logical choice for a snack accompanying tea

[North Star]

Biscuit: An euphemistic word for more intimate body parts, used e.g. in phrases such as 'You caught me with my hands in the biscuit tin'. The American biscuit is soft and flaky, but the British or European variety is hard and brittle.


Scone:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Scone: Better than any biscuit I've ever 'ad. Least the one I 'ad in 'arrods, accompanied by some seriously good tea, in their cafe. I've never been to Harrods, and the enjoyable experience was topped off by said scone, with real clotted cream, I might add. There used to be a place in the West Village in NYC that was run by Brits and intended to be similar, and you could get scones and clotted cream there, and steak and kidney pie, etc. Forgot about that place. Probably been turned into a Korean nail salon. Everything else has.

Bone China--and if you avail yourself of the opportunity to be naughty and punny with the word bone, you win a fruit basket.

[Pendragon]

Bone China: Extremely expensive, bone china is known for its high levels of whiteness and translucency, and very high mechanical strength and chip resistance. It's pretty, it can last for a long time, but trust me when you pay for this stuff you will definitely feel shafted!

Translucent:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Translucent: Allowing light to pass through without being quite transparent. Often associated with beauty like the petals of a flower when the sun shines through, or the leaves of a tree on a summer's day, or the skin of one of those fish where you can see the internal organs. Note: This last reference may not have been beautiful so much as ICK.

Small hands, since two Presidential candidates just--yes, we're all still on planet earth--talked about the ostensible relation of hand size to, uh, well...think appendage and then fill in the blanks.

[Pendragon]

Small hands: Reach deficiency, made up for by the size of the mouth and the depth of the BS

Deficiency:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Deficiency: A quality excelled in by all Presidential candidates this year. Can also relate to a lack of vitamins in one's diet, but most physicians agree it's now mainly about the Presidential candidates.

Wankers:

[YesNo]

Wankers: Those presidential candidates I don’t plan to vote for.

Man up:

[Calidore]

Man up: What soon happens when "Man down!" isn't as serious as it first appeared.

Schedule

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Schedule: What I don't keep to, wherever possible.

YesNo, was that "Man up" directed at me?

Daylight Bloody Saving Time:

[YesNo]

YesNo, was that "Man up" directed at me?


Not at all. I heard the phrase in a movie a couple of days ago and felt I had to get professional help in finding out what it meant.


Daylight Bloody Saving Time: A futile vampire attempt to make the Sun come up at the same time each day.

Untermenschen (I read this on the Yugoslavia thread)

[spikepipsqueak]

Untermenschen: Another name for Julian May's Firvulags.




Futile

[Pendragon]

Futile: An exercise in insanity, defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result

in flagrante delicto (as a legal term):

[Tyrion Cheddar]

In flagrante dilecto: You come home from work and start loosening your tie as, with the other hand, you turn the key in the lock of the front door. You look up as you walk in and there she is. Wifey. Only...it's not the wifey you know. Not the one who kisses you when you sit down at the breakfast table and packs the kids' lunches. Nor indeed the one who wore white for you on that day long ago. No, this...this is an entirely different wifey.

This is a wifey who, despite what she insists when you ask her to get on top, appears to have two of the strongest knees of any woman in her age group. Just ask the first man. Or is he the third man? Likewise, this wifey exceeds Olympic gymnast standards in terms of flexibility, as witness the arch in her back as she cranes to reach...we'll call him the second man. As to the third man, let's just say your right hand suddenly feels outclassed.

It is when you walk in on this scene that you learn the mean of in flagrante dilecto.

Harlot:

[Pendragon]

Harlot: The woman in the above scenario along with the three guys. Since harlot means "one who is a sexual deviant," why should only the woman be blamed? She is hardly a harlot by herself, right? Someone else has to be involved...

Deviant:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Deviant: Anyone whose nature, emotions or desires are not in line with whatever sort of nature, emotions and desires society deems to be healthy and appropriate at a given moment.

Shifting sands:

[Pendragon]

Shifting sands: According to Scripture, where the foolish man builds his house. Describes the Republican party at the moment, their platform built on shifting sands and fantasy, a mirror image of the shadow of a mirage...

Mirror Image:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Mirror Image: What the Evil Queen of Snow White fame looked into every day, demanding it declare her the fairest of them all, even though she was sagging a bit around the middle and had skin an iguana would be envious of. Also, the basis of possibly the best episode of the original Star Trek, called Mirror, Mirror.

Hokum, since ya dun mentioned politics and all.