Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

[Pendragon]

Costume: Clothes that make the man--look ridiculous...

False Face:

[Pendragon]

False Face: The countenance one adapts when they are in over their head and are claiming to have pretensions of something, wealth, class, noble family, other country citizenship that one doesn't actually have. The false face fools only the fool using it.

Fool:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Fool: Something which, on occasion, a doctor makes you give him a sample of. Sorry, that's stool. Fool: A guy who is either astonishingly dim-witted, and/or someone who engages in exceedingly risky behavior for no good reason. Look at that, I actually didn't make a funny.

Bimbo:

[YesNo]

Bimbo: A wonderful female, beautiful, kind and loving. Some guys think she’s not smart enough for them to be interested in her. That’s because she's too smart to be interested in those guys.

Smart:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Smart, Maxwell. The finest secret agent there ever was.

99

[tailor STATELY]

99:

• 66 upside down (hence) 99 standing on her head
• The number of bottles one starts with in the (forgive the tautology) old saw of bottles of beer; not to be confused with gg in cyberspeak
• A marketing ploy used to make one believe they're saving more than a penny

Beer:

[YesNo]

Beer: A path to drunkenness that requires the ability to consume a larger quantity of fluids.

Absolute zero:

[Pendragon]

Absolute zero: The point at which a person finally comes to the conclusion that he or she hasn't a clue.

Boiling Point:

[YesNo]

Boiling Point: The point at which a liquid is so drunk it turns into a gas.

Transmutation:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Transmutation: A man, or woman, who either identifies as or outwardly presents themselves to be a member of the opposite sex, and also has a parade thrown in their honor every year. Sorry, that's transgender. Transmutation: the alchemist's dream of changing base metal into gold--impossibly for the ancients, try though they might, but attainable soon enough through nanotechnology.

Prism:

[Pendragon]

Prism: A naturally occurring lens that takes in the light of the sun and vomits in seven vivid colors

Alchemist:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Alchemist: A guy wot I really admire, because, like all the best thinkers and artists, he spends his whole life doing nothing the world recognizes as respectable or valuable, but which is, in fact, chock full of inner riches the world will never know.

Peerage:

[Pendragon]

Peerage: Ancestor deification taken to the extreme, as one who has illustrious ancestors fills like it makes him or her somehow better-than-thou. A ancestral right to live like a slob and act like a snob.

Ancestors:

[YesNo]

Ancestors: What future generations will call us.

Eyeball:

[mona amon]

Eyeball: tr. v. - our built in system of measurement, often pretty inaccurate, but good enough for most life situations. Not to be used to measure out drinks when you are already up to the eyeballs in the stuff.

rule of thumb

[Pendragon]

rule of thumb: A principle with broad application that is not intended to be strictly accurate or reliable for every situation, named perhaps for the fact that human have opposable thumbs which allow them to rule.

Whole nother:

[Calidore]

Whole nother: Even better than a half nother, unless you're allergic.

Guacamole

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Guacamole: An arcade game in which players use mallets to strike randomly appearing moles back into their holes. Wait, wait. That's whack-a-mole. Sorry. Guacamole: A delicious avocado dip involving tomatoes, onion and a bunch of other stuff.

Note: While looking up the well-known and supposed historical origin of the term rule of thumb, namely that it refers to a rule stating that a husband may beat his wife with a stick, provided the stick is no wider than his thumb, I learned that this old chestnut is pure poppycock. Never did such a rule exist, either in the U.S. or Britain. This discovery led to an immediate sinking feeling on my part, as I wondered if those storied good old days of which we hear in rhyme and song ever truly existed...

Further note: The above mot is likely to bring the business end of a meat cleaver down on one's head if offered in the presence of a woman, hence a full suit of body armor is recommended if one is intending to do so.

Effluence:

[YesNo]

Effluence: One of that infamous trinity of fluence words that has made scholarly blood flow needlessly for centuries. All fluence words relate to flow or flowing. Effluence is a flowing outward. Affluence is a flowing inward. And influence is when the flow is so irrational, both inward and outward, that all parties do their best to confuse the other.

Good Old Days:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Good Old Days: When a man could have a meat pie, a mug of ale and a tavern wench for a copper.

Wench:

[Pendragon]

Wench: You could say it is a derogatory term applied to waitresses that outright accuses them of questionable virtue, but have you seen some of the waitresses lately? The term may come back into vogue.

Vogue:

[YesNo]

Vogue: The fashion industry’s version of planned obsolescence.

Questionable:

[Pendragon]

Questionable: Not coming up to a stated table of values. For example, to the Atheist, belief in God is questionable, but not to religious people. To religious people evolution is questionable, but not to scientists. To people who define normal as "a man is a man and a woman a woman and marriage should consist of one man, one woman" alternative lifestyles are questionable but those who have alternate lifestyles think that view both questionable and narrow minded. Depends on one's point of view.

Wrong:

[Dark Muse]

Wrong: Everyone else

Narcissist:

[YesNo]

Narcissist: Me? Yeah, me. You? No, it ‘s me.

Nefarious:

[Pendragon]

Nefarious: Very well known as a lying, cheating, parsimonious rat unworthy of any favor

Parsimonious

[YesNo]

Parsimonious: Prudential penny-pinching.

Poverty:

[Lokasenna]

Poverty: The state of not having enough money to feed oneself, and often therefore using one's new iPhone, Macbook, or the Smart function of one's 48-inch 3D HD LED TV to complain on social media about not having enough money.

Sacrifice:

[tailor STATELY]

Sacrifice: from "sacre" French for sacred and "fice" or Fice: A robot high-five (Urban Dictionary); hence: Sacred Robot High Five for giving up stuff.

High Five:

[Pendragon]

High Five: The Eagles original band. You old timers from America will get that I'm sure!

Down Low:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

See, I got that reference, and the pun wot followed it. The Eagles started as Linda Ronstadt's backing <cough> band, meaning they all stood, or sat, behind her. As such, every night they had a view most men'd have considered enviable, resulting in sneaky little smiling glances between them--or so one assumes. What they were all surreptitiously leering at was, of course, Linda Ronstadt's down low. Well, her tush, at any rate, which, in those tight 70s bellbottoms, looked mighty fine.

Fanny (we'll see which of you geezers familiar with that same time period will get this--without googling it, mind you)

[Pendragon]

Fanny: That part of the body upon which you sit, which can be difficult when mom "spanks your fanny!" 2) First name of hymn writer Fanny Crosby "Standing Somewhere in the Shadows You'll Find Jesus." 3) Titular heroine prostitute in an erotic novel by English novelist John Cleland, Fanny Hill 4) First name of Radio funny girl Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks) shall I go on? I have a large memory...

Roscoe:

[YesNo]

Roscoe: Robinson Crusoe’s nickname.

Cartoon:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Cartoon: The only form of graphic language the population will soon comprehend, as evidenced by plummeting literacy and the rise of emojis as medium.

Well done, Pendragon, but you missed the one I had in mind, which connected to the Linda Ronstadt thing, and that was the band Fanny, a well competent all female blues rock ensemble from the same time period that could hold their own with any of their male equivalents.

Titular, a word I endorse for many reasons

[Troyia]

Titular: Famed for some heroine deed, like attending a college. Title was meant to be an aid for fast recognition of a person's capabilities in order to have more effective interaction. Usually used for showing off among peers and lying to one's little ago that they are not as worse-less as they usually feel.

Medal:

[Pendragon]

By the way, a Roscoe is pulp fiction slang for a gun...



Medal: A reward given for an accomplishment, such as a good conduct medal in the Military, a Purple Heart for being wounded in action, or a bronze/silver/gold for achievement in the Olympics. 2) a charm to ward off evil such as a St. Christopher's Medal

Fetish:

[Dark Muse]

Fetish: An object emboding a spirit giving it magical powers.

Voodoo

[YesNo]

Voodoo: A general class of weird stuff like a doll or poppet that you put pins into after you have made and stuffed it. It is probably best for the innocent people around you if you are a skeptic and don’t believe in this kind of stuff since then you won’t be tempted to experiment and find out.

Charm:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Charm: Something I use to have lots of, when I were a lad, but which apparently vamoosed along with my hair, since nowadays the only ostensible females who'll glance in my direction collect social security.

Girth. And don't get cute.

[Pendragon]

Girth: In our world where we live in three dimensions, length, width, and height, this would be width. Some of us girth more than others...

Span:

[YesNo]

Span: Like length, width or height except it is more associated with time. However it also means clean like a newly split piece of wood so “neat” that one could eat off of it.

Neurosurgeon:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Neurosurgeon: a chap with a scalpel who you hope will only cut through select neurons, and not nick a blood vessel tiny enough to go unnoticed, but vital enough to bleed all over your brain later when you're sipping a mint julip in the recovery room.

[YesNo]

You didn't leave us with a new word. I'll make one up that came to mind from another thread:

Boredom:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Boredom: The ancestral home of the Bores.

Echo:

[Pendragon]

Echo: The shadow of sound

Egad:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Egad: cousin to Gad Zooks! and distant relative of Streuth!

nincompoop

[YesNo]

Nincompoop: This comes from an attempt by 17th century academics to sound out the Latin phrase “non compos mentis” without resorting to pig latin. You can still hear the “non” in the initial “nin” sound and the “com” sound is clearly in both, but after that things break down as they inevitably would and “pos mentis” is turned into “poop” which probably generated enough laughter that the original nincompoop felt he got it right.

Pig Latin:

[tailor STATELY]

nincompoop: 1) Female noncompoop; 2) person not acquainted, or unenamored, with NIИ; 3) modern ninnyhammer


Rats ! Snaked.

Back in a moment...

Pig Latin: Spoken language in the book "Animal Farm" translated into English.


Rhythm and Blues:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

I have no recollection of Pig Latin being spoken in "Animal Farm" and think, tailor, that you may be pulling our leg, you heathen.

Rhythm 'n' Blues: A term first coined in 1948 by a chap called Jerry Wexler who wrote for Billboard magazine. It replaced the term 'race music' which, ironically, came from within the black community. It was music of and about the urban African-American experience and was initially marketed to black people. When the blonde-haired, blue-eyed daughters of whitey later started shaking their moneymakers to it, whitey didn't take to kindly to it.

Money maker:

[Pendragon]

Money maker: Counterfeiter

Morals:

[YesNo]

Morals: The standards by which we judge the other guy and pardon ourselves.

Pardon:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pardon? Didn't hear you.

Subversion.

[Pendragon]

Subversion. The art of misdirection that allows a hypocrite get away with it

Heretic:

[YesNo]

Heretic: Someone who pops a bubble of establishment hot air.

Hot Air:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Hot air: I hear there was another presidential debate tonight. Bound to be plenty of it there.

Hooey

[Pendragon]

Hooey: The daily output of the pathological liar, which fouls the air considerably during presidential debates

Debate:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Debate: a modern farce which, every four years, has both Lincoln and Douglas doubled over in their graves with laughter.

Lumbago:

[Pendragon]

Lumbago: Mysterious back pain that is enough for a person to get disability payments, but not enough to interfere with their having six children with two different women, or to stop backbreaking work around their property

Disability:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Disability: Dis ability is one I developed after years of practice.

Corny:

[North Star]

Corny: A word used to describe starched collars.

Snow:

[Pendragon]

Snow: A sort of cold precipitation which is a time of rejoicing for kids who look forward to school being canceled and riding down hills on anything that will slide. Adults are less enthusiastic because the kids are out of school and tracking in snow and mud from playing in the snow and their cars slide like sleds as they attempt to make it into work, which of course is NOT canceled.

Rain:

[YesNo]

Rain: A way for water to get its head out of the clouds and find its way back to earth.

Black Hole:

[Pendragon]

Black Hole: The bedroom of the average teenager. Anything could be lurking beneath the piles of dirty clothes, filthy dishes, and discarded pizza boxes that allow none of the floor to be visible. Any missing pets are probably there, sucked into that foul smelling rattrap!

Teen:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Teen: In terms of worldliness, cynicism and experience, the new forty-year-olds.

Generation Gap:

[YesNo]

Generation Gap: The gap across which the spark of procreation flies.

Fly:

[Pendragon]

Fly: Annoying insect who nevertheless provides a very crucial service, i.e. determining time of death in many criminal cases

Scarab:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Scarab: A guy who's scared of Arabs. Also, in ancient Egypt, a symbol of the soul, used as a talisman. And to scare Arabs.

Needle: (Ask me why I said this--go ahead, ask me)

[YesNo]

Needle: A long, thin piece of metal with a nice, sharp point on one end and a tiny eye at the other end through which a thread can run. It is good for sewing and popping balloons and metaphorically annoying someone.


Needle: (Ask me why I said this--go ahead, ask me) Why? :)

Maze:

[Pendragon]

Maze: Once a hedge row carefully carved by gardeners to confuse the Master and Mistress of the house, usually with a statue or fountain in the center. Now, a field of corn carved into a confusing mess of rows, decorated by the local Halloween madman, with a statue of death at the center, used to scare the bejeebers out of people for profit

Labyrinth:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Labyrinth: Apply to social security or whichever other of your favorite bureaucracies for even the simplest thing, and you'll soon learn the meaning of labyrinth. And Kafka-esque. And anger management.

Also, Pendragon, speaking of profit, don't forget the use of those manufactured wheat field patterns as UFO landing zones.

I mentioned needle earlier, as in syringe, because earlier today I went to the orthopedist about a swollen knee. He proceeded to jam not one, not two, but three needles way, way up inside my knee in order to access the fluid with which it was swollen and drain it. I can honestly say that was as much pain as I've ever experienced in my life.

hornswoggle:

[YesNo]

Hornswoggle: Another way to say “bamboozle”.

Haggle:

[Pendragon]

Haggle: Basically two people trying to see which one can swindle the other over something that one of them has and that the other desires

Confidence:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Confidence: There are a bunch of politicians wanting to be President currently dashing about the countryside trying to take us into theirs.

flimflam

[YesNo]

Flimflam: A form of rhyming that cannot wait until the end of the line. For example, “swimswam”. Also an explanation of reality that works if one believes it will. It’s basic job is to get one to believe it will.

Doodle:

[Pendragon]

Doodle: The aimless wondering of a pen or pencil over a page during boring meetings. Of course, the Spiritualist Movement calls it "automatic writing."

Channeling:

[YesNo]

Channeling: “The mistake of letting others know that you got your inspiration from some other disembodied spirit, like a muse or a dead guy, telling you what to write or say or do. It just makes them think you’re nuts, but if what you’re saying makes no sense to begin with, it also wouldn't hurt to have some excuse.” Spirit X as channeled by YesNo.

Dematerialization:

[Calidore]

Dematerialization: To unravel a piece of cloth by pulling on a loose thread.

Grandeur

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Grandeur: 'The world is charged with the grandeur of God.' --Gerard Manley Hopkins, God's Grandeur One of my personal faves, that is. I used to read old Gerard heaps back in high school. It were he wot turned me on to the word 'dappled,' so he did. Grandeur means basically the "majestic sense" or "majestic aura" of a thing. So grandeur and pork drippings, for example, don't have a lot in common.

Pendragon, you impress me with your allusion to the spiritualists of the 19th Century since, again while in high school, I was big into the Theosophical Society. Likewise channeling, YesNo. Madame Blavatsky made a whole career out o' them kind of writings, as did many later New Age flimflam men and women. I got led down that garden path in the 80s, too, instead of growing glam hair and being in a metal band as I ought.

dalliance

[Pendragon]

dalliance: Adultery or Fornication under a word that makes it seem harmless

Planchette:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Planchette: One o' them things wot ouija board users use to let the dead talk to them--and spell out where the life insurance policy is hid and all that. Works wonders on the unwitting. And I loves me a good fornicate.

soothsaying

[YesNo]

Likewise channeling, YesNo.

Shh! Don't tell anyone. I think muses exist.


Soothsayer: Someone who can predict the future, that is, tell the truth about something before it happens. This could be a scientist or a psychic. The difference between the two is that scientists don’t use intuition to get their results.

Intuition:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Intuition: A mildly to appallingly unpleasant condition for which a little sodium bicarbonate usually brings relief. Wait. Sorry, that's indigestion.

Cheeky

[Pendragon]

Cheeky: Having the stones to actually say what's on your mind without a politically correct filter

Mind:

[tailor STATELY]

Mind: (1) A terrible thing to waste (2) Short for Mindy

Waste:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Waste: When the hottest girl this side of Toledo turns out to be gay. (No filters there, Pendragon, me old mate.)

offal

[Pendragon]

offal: The detritus of the slaughter house, being parts of the animal judged not fit for human consumption--which in some parts of the world would be eaten with thanksgiving as people are starving

Flotsam:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Flotsam: Along with his femme fatale Jetsam, cut a swath of blood and vengeance across the heartland, leading to a grand battle with G-men in which thundering Thompson sub-machine guns hurled bullets like hail, the bodies of both hero and villain shredded like the chassis of their iconic black Packards.

Sweetness:

[YesNo]

Sweetness: An illusion that makes temptation hard to resist.

Temptation:

[Pendragon]

Temptation: Something one desires that may or may not be good for them. Oscar Wilde famously said: "There is only one way to resist temptation and that is to give into it."

Resistance:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Is futile, I believe.

Hedonism

[YesNo]

Hedonism: A philosophy that celebrates the party’s buzz while ignoring the morning after.

Buzz:

[Hawkman]

Buzz: the sensation of having one's head removed with a chainsaw.

Student:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Student: A person spry of limb and quick of wit, who, when not bent on the loins of other students, leans hard into study in the mistaken belief that it will all pay off one day.

enraptured:

[YesNo]

Enraptured: So visibly delighted that people think there is something wrong with you.

Wrong:

[Pendragon]

Wrong: Contrary to the status quo or perhaps simply to your personal standards. A grey area...

Righteous:

[YesNo]

Righteous: On the good side of bad. Or the bad side of good depending on whose butt is getting kicked.

Good Side:

[Pendragon]

Good Side: The side of your body where a photograph should show none of your flaws. To believe that you actually have such a side is the epitome of mental illness

Epitome:

[North Star]

Epitome: the cover of a tome, usually hard covers of a long and old book, e.g. of a Bible.

Metal illness:

[YesNo]

Metal Illness: The personality disorders associated with a metal’s unstable isotopes.

Unstable:

[Calidore]

Your definition was better than mine, YesNo. I would have just said "rust".

Unstable: To let the horses out to graze.

Catamaran

[tailor STATELY]

Catamaran - 1) wind aided multi-hulled water vehicle that can be very swift sometimes, e.g. with the sails not dragging in the water
2) What cats do when threatened with water or other stimuli (past-tense)

Cat

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Cat: A creature whose name, like its nature, are remarkably close to rat, in that it should be skewered with a rake, then burned.

Rake:

[Pendragon]

Rake: 1) Implement of the devil created to cause human suffering by using it on the leaves every fall. 2) Male person of dubious character who seems to get lucky with a lot of women

I changed my misspelled word. That's what I get for depending on spell-check!

Mental Illness:

[tailor STATELY]

Mental Illness: 1) Not to be confused with metal illness (speed metal/heavy metal/head-banging/other, or rust [as intimated earlier]): Something nearly everyone has to a degree, but rarely admitted, treated, or cured. Mental illness is a two edge sword that may drive creativity or bring one to paralysis... or worst http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/12/the-silicon-valley-suicides/413140/?utm_medium=email&utm_source=digg . 2) One of the most lucrative revenue streams that monopolistic drug tzars depend on.

Monopoly ?

[YesNo]

Monopoly: A tedious board game where the goal is to get all the play money and property and make everyone else broke.

Money:

[Pendragon]

Money: An necessary evil, but love of it is the root of all evil

Birthday:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Birthday: When a Hollywood bimbo pops out of a cake and sings to you and for unknown reasons calls you "Mr. President."

Cleavage:

[YesNo]

Cleavage: A demarcation between two things that is exaggerated and clearly visible so that the things themselves can be left to the viewer’s perverted imagination.

For example the sentence, “The cleavage between metaphysical idealism and metaphysical realism produces an existential tension where both sides think the other is moronic” tells you nothing, but it does accentuate the demarcation between these two things and does its best to tease you to explore further.

Exploration:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Exploration: What you do with your hand behind the girl's back as you fecklessly search for the clasp.

Satisfaction:

[Pendragon]

Satisfaction: Apparently Mick Jagger just can't get it

Solitude:

[Dark Muse]

Solitude: Ideal state of being

Meditation:

[Pendragon]

Meditation: Deep thought on the nature of one's navel

Trance:

[YesNo]

Trance: A state of reduced responsiveness to normal stimuli so that other forms of consciousness can finally get their two cents in.

Two cents in:

[tailor STATELY]

Two cents in: Most times the worth of a wooden nickel (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wooden_nickel ); not to be confused with a plug nickel.

Worth:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Worth: The tendency of an already bad situation to decline further, i.e. things go from bad to worth.

YesNo, I do deeply dig your definition of trance, and Dark Muse, I couldn't agree more about solitude.

Stillness:

[Pendragon]

Stillness: An unspecified period of time that for some reason always comes after sundown, I.e. "The stillness of the night." "In the still of the night." etc

Eon:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Eon: What a neon sign says after the 'n' has broken.

Curmudgeon:

[Pendragon]

Curmudgeon: Me, myself, and I

Dipstick:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Dipstick: "My girlfriend likes to dress up as a mechanic and say: "Hey, big fella, why don't you bring your dipstick over here and check my oil.""

Purloined:

[Pendragon]

Purloined: High class for "stolen"

Hoity-toity:

[YesNo]

Hoity Toity: Some say it means “pretentious”. Some claim there is a valid alternate definition and it also means “silly”. Others say those two definitions are basically the same thing.

Valid:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Hoity-toity: Pretentious, pompous, self-important, or nearly everyone on Twitter.

Self-promotion:

[Pendragon]

Valid: Considered true because someone famous enough to matter has declared it to be so


Self-promotion: The ability of a charismatic person to talk about themselves in a way that makes them oddly intriguing or able to preform miracles.

Miracle:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Oops, missed valid altogether. ;-) Miracle: A word some men my age invoke on those occasions when the, er, equipment performs as intended. Not me, of course. I'm a bulwark of virility and stamina.

Bravado:

[Pendragon]

Bravado: False confidence or courage, such as a balding man with a comb-over and 200 pounds of spare tire who still thinks he's God's gift to women, while all the women are headed to God's gift exchange

Self-image:

[YesNo]

Self-image: What happens when you look in a mirror.

Pixel:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pixel: A kludge of a word made from the two words picture and element. It means one of the tiny dots on the screen of your computer monitor which, combined with thousands of others, comprise the image you see.

Pendragon, your definition of bravado should win a blue ribbon. Or at least a slice of key lime pie. YesNo, your quip about self-image was clever and nifty.

Murky:

[Pendragon]

Murky: Water that has enough mud or pollution in it to make you think twice about swimming in it, or eating any fish you happen to catch

Thanks for the shout out, Tyrion Cheddar!

Unfiltered:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Unfiltered: The way I like my adult content. And when I say adult content, I do mean pro wrestling. Why, what did you think I meant?

innuendo:

[Pendragon]

innuendo: The art of referring to something considered vulgar without resorting to vulgarity

Hoodwink:

[tailor STATELY]

Hoodwink: 1) To fool, or to otherwise prevaricate. 2) Tiddlywinks as played in the hood. ;)

The hood:

[Pendragon]

The hood: That dangerous part of town where guys go about in hoodies, which evidently causes enough fear for people's lives that they shoot unarmed people with impunity

Justified:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Justified: What you call millions of kids around the world when they fall in love with a little twerp from Canada who, starting with a simple video on YouTube, turned into an international (and very unfortunate) singing sensation.

And tailor, your 'tiddlywinks as played in the hood' is another forum award winner.

Gargantuan:

[Pendragon]

Gargantuan: About the size of King Kong, give or take a meter...

Grotesque:

[Lokasenna]

Grotesque: A word denoting something hideous and horrifying, whose appearance causes great distress, except in architectural parlance where it is a synonym for 'sublime' and 'progressive'.

Danger:

[Pendragon]

Danger: A perceived sense that something is about to cause you difficulty, distress, and pain. Also something that in the opinion of someone else could be damaging to you, your family, or your well being.

Opinion:

[YesNo]

Opinion: A show of humility by acknowledging that the fact one has just stated might not be true.

Humility:

[Calidore]

Humility: A level of moisture in the air low and comfortable enough so as not to call attention to itself.

Citation

[Calidore]

Double post

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Double post: What Calidore is allowed to do after making that excellent witticism about humility. ;-)

Citation: Something one normally can only get out of by offering sexual favors to the officer who pulled you over.

Suggestive:

[Pendragon]

Suggestive: Having the appearance of something without actually being it, such as the way a woman wears short, tight, low neckline clothes but still says she is modest and not for hire

Backwards:

[mona amon]

Backwards: with the backside foremost.

Giggle:

[Pendragon]

Giggle: The results of trying not to laugh in someone's face

Stupid:

[YesNo]

Stupid: My wife’s rating for the comedies I enjoy watching.

Comedy:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

The label Hollywood's promotional machine gives to unwatchable films that try desperately to be funny and exciting while succeeding only in curing insomnia.

Witless:

[Lokasenna]

Witless: The defining characteristic of the human race. Except oneself, obviously.

Teacake:

[YesNo]

Teacake: A fancy donut. If your wife has banned you from eating donuts while indulging in coffee or, if you really have to, tea, calling that sweet piece of baked delight a "teacake" might help.

Donut:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Donut: The defining characteristic of the human race, or at least North Americans, or at least Homer Simpson.

And YesNo, what do you mean "tea, if you really have to," hm? HM? Come out as a tea hater and I'll report you to the vice squad.

Sequester:

[Pendragon]

Sequester: The absurd idea that you can take the members of a jury in a high profile case and keep them somewhere where they cannot be tainted by public opinion. Not only is the idea ridiculous, but, in the case of OJ Simpson, highly expensive.

Political Debate:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Political Debate: Given the choice between participating in a political debate and having my head locked in a cage full of hungry rats while my gonads were covered in honey, then lowered into a pot of fire ants, I can honestly say...Well, OK, in that instance I might actually have to choose political debate, but anything short of that and you can forget it.

Loathing:

[YesNo]

Loathing: A kinky form of loving.

Kinky:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Kinky: There is a scene in Mel Brooks' High Anxiety in which Cloris Leachman is dressed as a Nazi SS officer and is subjecting Harvey Korman, who is chained to a wall in a closet, to the full dominatrix treatment. Although the very thought makes me want to vomit, this is how I have always imagined a certain female politician who is currently running for President in her <shudder> private moments. (The Cloris Leachman character, not Harvey Korman, needless to say.) This type of intimacy falls under the heading of kinky.

Heave:

[Pendragon]

Heave: Unable to throw up as anyone who has ever had the dry heaves could confirm!

Insult:

[YesNo]

Insult: A tool in the art of making enemies.

Enemy:

[Lokasenna]

Enemy: A corpse you haven't made yet.

Gift:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Gift: What certain individual's deaths are to the world, though no one will say it out loud. OK, I will.

Relief:

[Pendragon]

Gift: As The Devil's Dictionary is a very cynical book, Gift: Something grudgingly given by insincere people to other people who can't wait for the day after Christmas to return it, as they neither want it nor appreciate it.

Christmas Spirit:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Christmas spirit: A fictional frisson of warmheartedness and generosity, the reality of which is lust for material objects, usually the electronic kind sold at stores like Best Buy.

[YesNo]

You forgot to offer a new word, Tyrion. I have no clue what "frisson" means, so how about

Frisson:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Frisson: a sudden strong feeling of something, a thrill, a rush.

Perspicacity:

[North Star]

Perspicacity: The part of town where the sweatshops are located.

Sweatshop:

[Calidore]

Sweatshop: Gym

Exercise:

[North Star]

Exercise: To evict demons from areas or peoples possessed by them.

Demon:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Demon: What people smell like after exercising.

Svelte:

[YesNo]

Svelte: Someone who looks elegant or graceful and easier to pronounce than this word.

Graceful:

[Pendragon]

Graceful: To move with smooth motion

Disgraceful:

[mona amon]

Disgraceful: something you can shake your head at, without trying to do anything about it.

Hunger

[YesNo]

Hunger: A desire for food that when not satisfied first leads to getting thinner and healthier but then when overdone, voluntarily or not, leads to death. Is the moral that what is healthy leads to death? No. There’s no moral.

Thin:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Thin: Traditionally, a thin is conceived as any action that transgresses the will of God, or which perverts Nature. Mind you, most of those who preach against thinning are the biggest thinners of all, and some people who are notorious thinners are also the most charismatic of persons, secretly loved and envied by the pious and virtuous. Oscar Wilde captured this with the following quip via the mouth of Dorian Gray: "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the thins you never had the courage to commit."

Lisp:

[YesNo]

Lisp: One of the words a person with a lisp can’t pronounce.

The Will of God:

[Pendragon]

The Will of God: The excuse people use for why bad things happen, why they have a bad attitude, and why they believe things without question.

Extraordinary:

[Calidore]

Extraordinary: Even more than normally normal. Or to paraphrase Steven Wright, it's ordinary, just a little extra.

Din:

[Pendragon]

Din: As any parent knows, this is the state of parental insanity caused by having several dozen children in close quarters such as at a birthday party, summer camp, or a play date

Amnesia:

[tailor STATELY]

Amnesia: 1) Oh wait... I fogot; 2) What Nesia am; 3) Milk of amnesia is used often to cure stagnant thought, and curiously enough as an aid for constipation

Constipation:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Constipation: The most important and politically evolved founding document ever written, it outlines a system of government which is the best anyone's come up with, even if it sucks, and is rarely adhered to anymore. Also, the Constipation came with an addendum stating that we as citizens have certain rights, called Constipational rights, therein enumerated and said to be given to us by God, or possibly the makers of Metamucil, which may never be infringed upon--an assertion the NSA laughs at till they spew dietary fiber from every orifice.

Surveillance:

[Pendragon]

Surveillance: The word used by the NSA to cover anything from illegal wire tapping to gross infringement of Constitutional Rights. The word is usually part of sentence that also contains the words "in the interest of Home Security" or "for the greater good." Both are to be defined by the NSA on a need to know basis. If you are watching, NSA, I deny the preceding sentences were actually typed by me. It is that darn Poltergeist, Willy, doing more "automatic writing."

Basis:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Basis: Speaking of willy, I'd like to show mine to the NSA on a regular basis.

Police State:

[Pendragon]

Police State: America. Where else do cops murder with impunity, while the Government still proclaims us a free people?

Murder:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Murder: The dark, devastated landscape where can be found Sauron's tower and Mount Doom, and if Frodo and Sam aren't careful, the Dark Lord'll catch them and eat them.

Legend:

[tailor STATELY]

Legend: 1) Fantasy movie w/ Tom Cruz & Tim Curry with music by Tangerine Dream & Jon Anderson, et al; 2) What rewritten truth and/or fiction becomes after time prior to attaining mythological status; 3) Elevated status of popular sports figures, Holly/Bollywood actors, etc. (usually) after their prime. 4) John & Johhny's last name

Shred:

[YesNo]

Shred: What happens to evidence that doesn’t fit the facts.

Fact:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Fact: That thing few people will allow to interfere with their theories.

Ideology:

[Lokasenna]

Ideology: The study of idiots.

Alliance:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Alliance: A thing asserted to exist between the Federation and the Klingon Empire in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but since that show sucked harder than an industrial vacuum cleaner, I maintain that we and the Klingons are still enemies.

Enema:

[Pendragon]

Enema: Extra-extra-extra strength laxative... 2) No me fren', yo!

Yo!

[tailor STATELY]

Yo: 1) Other coast rendition of 'dude', or 'howdy'; 2) Yo's twin & Yo twins' Ma - famous string artists

Dude:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Dude: Depending on the inflection with which it is imbued by the speaker, 'Dude' can mean anything from hello to "Oh my god, I did not just seriously walk in on you and that guy from down the hall pullin' each other's puds..."

Ambiguous:

[Pendragon]

Ambiguous: Not clearly stated, but given a lot of room for interpretation, like the definition of "dude"

Precise:

[YesNo]

Precise: An approval rating of a measurement.

Approval:

[Pendragon]

Approval: To be a sycophant for the favored

Sycophant:

[tailor STATELY]

Sycophant: Ok, like all elephants can't be sane after all.

Elephant:

[YesNo]

Elephant: A creature too big for hide-and-seek.

Hide-and-seek:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Hide and Seek: Alternatively a timeless children's game, and a song by Howard Jones.

Pop:

[Pendragon]

Pop: Dear old Dad, now, as a Grandfather, my grandkids give me an extra pop, I am now Pop-Pop!

Hi-jinks:

[Lokasenna]

Hi-jinks: What kids get up to. In my youth, that meant climbing trees and playing at pirates. These days, I think it's a euphemism for riotous sex.

Infantile:

[mona amon]

Infantile: Complaining, whining, immature behavior that no self-respecting infant would ever indulge in.

Edit:

[Pendragon]

Edit: Used by publishers of all sorts, the word. generally used thus: "Just what we are looking for! I foresee only minor edits!" then they proceed to totally rewrite your poem, story, news article, screen play, novel etc.

Censor:

[YesNo]

Censor: Someone who sacrifices his life to the sorry task of keeping other people’s minds locked up.

Sacrifice:

[Pendragon]

Sacrifice: 1) An unwilling victim human or animal ritually slain in worship of a God 2) To give up something you want for someone you love 3) To ruthlessly throw a weaker person under the bus so you can take credit for their ideas and blame them for your bad ideas. This is called Business 101

Ruthless:

[YesNo]

Ruthless: What happens to the guy Ruth dumps.

Dump:

[Pendragon]

Dump: 1) A steaming pile of refuse and debris 2) The abrupt ending of a relationship.

Bequeath:

[Lokasenna]

Bequeath: to give something to succeeding generations, such as money, property, and venereal disease.

Property:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Property: As opposed to a T-shirt with a rock band's name and logo on it, a proper T has a designer name sowed into the collar and is priced at thirty-eight times what it cost to make in a Philippines slave mill.

Exploitation:

[YesNo]

Exploitation: Virtual slavery. This is often created by convincing the exploited to sign a mortgage or some other debt instrument of torture.

Torture:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Torture: Having to listen to anything fitting under the various headings rap, death metal or Disney pop.

Excretory:

[Pendragon]

Excretory: The process of doing number 2

Excrement:

[tailor STATELY]

Excrement: 1) The opposite of excellent. 2) What ex's cast at each other in non-amicable situations. 3) A mixture of cement and ex's (generally frowned upon in polite society).

Polite:

[Pendragon]

Polite: The state of fearing to tell things like they are. For example when you friend dyes his hair green and asks if you like it, the polite answer is "Yes!" when the real one is "You've lost your freaking mind, dude!"

Righteous:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Righteous: Rice, beans, guacamole, lettuce, tomato and possibly some kind of meat wrapped in a soft tortilla. Sorry, that's a burrito. Righteous: the sound activists make when they talk.

Hovercraft:

[Pendragon]

Hovercraft: A vehicle powered by air turbines that rides on a cusion of compressed air and thus can go on land, water, or most anywhere. One day someone will invent one about the size of a SUV which will be the perfect getaway car for bank robbers. I mean get this picture. The Cops are chasing the gang that robbed First National, who are in their custom hovercraft. The crooks lead the Cops to the lake where they blissfully continue across the water as the Cops either screech to a halt in the sand or mud, or plunge into the water! Wouldn't that make YouTube!

Hacker:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Hacker: The sort of person who invents YouTube, plus all the other cool 'ware we use these days, and who would rob a bank in the modern way, by breaking into their servers electronically and manipulating the data therein, as opposed to relying on getaway vehicles--although a Luke Skywalker-esque land speeder might tempt even a hacker to leave his lair and see daylight. Your image, though, Pendragon, was wonderfully Keystone Cops. ;-)

Larceny:

[Pendragon]

Larceny: What they call it in court when you steal. A small amount stolen is merely "petty larceny"; while a big bank job is "grand larceny". We wish to apologize to people named Larcen for having to point this out.

Grand Theft Auto:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

GTA: a game which, like many modern MMOs and such, works too fast for my tired old brain to keep up with. Looks fun, though.

Diversion:

[YesNo]

Diversion: A version of reality that is also entertaining.

Movie:

[Pendragon]

Movie: Once a new experience every time, it is now the latest rehash of a former box office smash in hopes of milking even more money out of the idea

Prime Time TV:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Prime Time TV: something in comparison to which, the average movie rehash is like unto Hamlet's third soliloquy. With a few exceptions, that is, though mostly decent drama is now the province of Netflix, Amazon, et al.

Content, as in the stuff wot we watch.

[YesNo]

Content: The stuff that makes a movie take almost two hours get over with.

Milking Money:

[Pendragon]

Milking Money: The rate of pay down at the local dairy

Bull:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Bull: Something which, if you mistake it for a cow and try to milk it by tugging on what you think is its teat, will kick you from here to Halifax.

Todger:

[Pendragon]

Todger: British slang for Mr. Happy

Brass Monkey:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

As in "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey." Indeed. Behold the Brass Monkey of Stanthorpe, Queensland, a place known for its "brass monkey weather," complete with set of balls. And now you know why I love the Aussies. ;-)

9693

Huevos:

[YesNo]

Huevos: What one needs to add to “rancheros” to make breakfast at a Mexican restaurant.

Breakfast:

[Pendragon]

Breakfast: Most important meal of the day, and delicious enough to be eaten at any time

Stuffed Shirt:

[mona amon]

Stuffed Shirt: A men's upper garment, filled with an empty blowhard and garnished with a sprig of parsley

The Holiday season:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

The holiday season: Not sure Santa would appreciate being called a stuffed shirt, but given his storied girth, he am one.

Yule:

[Pendragon]

Yule: Christmas time contraction for "you will." "Bubba, if yule get thet log off'n th' truck, I'll git a far started."

Bubba:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Bubba: A colloquial way of referring to someone as a 'customer' or 'fella', especially if he ain't too smart in the head, i.e., "Listen, bubba, you and me need to a get a few things straight." Also, bubbas tend to speak in a slow Southern manner, be portly, and enjoy beer, guns and incest. Or so I've heard.

Y'all:

[Pendragon]

Y'all: All inclusive Southern Greeting. And Ty old boy, I am Southern, fat, a gun owner, but I do not drink. And if it's incest you're after don't look in Virginia, that is a West, by-God Virginia problem! Or so I have heard.

Toff:

[YesNo]

Toff: Someone so well-dressed and aristocratic looking that he gets noticed and then scorned for being better that everyone else, which he is, but that is beside the point.

Aristocratic:

[Pendragon]

Aristocratic: Here in SW Virginia, stuck up or acting beyond your raising, fake; such as a person who grew up like myself on the wrong side of the tracks who suddenly acts like her or she was born in the Hampton's.

Drawl:

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Drawl: The comforting, folksy sound y'all make when ya talk.

Vernacular:

[Pendragon]

Vernacular: In locally understandable lingo, not necessarily understood by those in other regions. For example, British people know why "Bob's your uncle." and here is SW Virginia we know what "cutting your foot" means.

Village Idiot:

[mona amon]

Village Idiot: The person who's 'special' either due to disability or choice. Every village has one. Just a step away from being the Village Genius or Holy Fool.

Holy Fool:

[Pendragon]

Holy Fool: That person in any given village who constantly reminds us of how wicked we really are by being the epitome of good

Wicked:

[YesNo]

Wicked: An adjective that covers a wide spectrum of moral quality going from the undesirably bad to the can’t-get-enough-of-it good and often related to how wicked you think you are.

Homeless:

[Pendragon]

Homeless: "And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head." Matthew 8:20

Reference:

[Pendragon]

Reference: Look up the meaning of some obscure word or phrase to to use a term so archaic that people have to look it up

Pawpaw:

[Calidore]

Pawpaw: A dog-dog fistbump

Whisker

[mona amon]

Whisker: Traditionalist baker who likes to whip things up by hand rather than use gadgets.

Prolific

[Pendragon]

Prolific: Producing a lot. This isn't always a good thing, Donald Trump is a prolific speaker...

fact:

[YesNo]

Fact: An assumption that comes out of nowhere and sometimes vanishes back into nowhere.

Ocean:

[Lokasenna]

Ocean: The source of all life on earth... and now hostile to 90% of it. That says a lot, really.

Apotheosis:

[YesNo]

Apotheosis: The process of becoming divine which doesn’t make sense unless one was divine to begin with and didn’t know it.

Epistemology:

[mona amon]

Epistemology: the study of the nature and scope of knowledge, a branch of Philosophy which which seems to have gradually hijacked the whole of Philosophy, throwing 'wisdom' out the window.

Defenestrate:

[YesNo]

Defenestrate: A form of window abuse where someone is thrown out of it.

Abuse:

[Pendragon]

Abuse: To act in a manner found injurious to me personally, which may or may not include such things as prejudice, stereotyping, general police procedures, laws, courts, neighbors, etc.

Ascertain:

[Calidore]

Ascertain: To be positive about the quality of another's derriere.

Plentitude

[Pendragon]

Plenitude: Aristocratic for "lots"

super-amalgamated:

[YesNo]

Super-amalgamated: A more expensive form of amalgamate.

Expensive:

[Calidore]

Expensive: The cost of becoming more expansive.

Expunge: