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NATURE: 1. The Unseen Intelligence which loved us into being, and is disposing of us by the same token. 2. That which every one but a theologian understands, but which no one can define. 3. The Louvre of the Esthetic Eye; the abattoir of the Religious Eye; the charivari of the Ironic Eye. 4. The eternal Kishineff of an implacable God.

Nancy: A person of neither sex, who yet combines the bad qualities of both.

Nigger: A colored person who has no money.

New Thought: Plain, simple commonsense.

Newspaper Office: A figment factory.

Nietzsche (Friedrich): A thunder smith.

Nebulous Typothetæ: A bum printer who can never be found when wanted.

Neighbor: The man who knows more about you than you know about yourself.

Nothing: 1. A negative which is the reality behind every ghostly affirmative. 2. Something that has density without weight, like a barber's breath.

Nomination: 1. Paradigrammatics, or the art of molding figures in plaster. 2. The call of the vile. 3. In democracies, the divine sacrament administered to ignorance. 3. The election, divination and apotheosis of a paramount parasite.

New York: The posthumous revenge of the Merchant of Venice.

Nesbit: A plenipotentiary of publicity who takes pretty nothings and makes of them New York Central literary hash.