Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Scheherazade]

I fear for my lower back in the coming months.

Better yours than the postman's.

[jocky]

Better yours than the postman's.

This is not what we want to hear. We have been infiltrated again and our thread has been infected. Head for the hills guys.....too late...... I.......I...... hvve.....beeeeen......... bited. I am haeding for youtuber........

[soundofmusic]

Count yourself lucky Jocky! I recently found a copy of "A Lovers Guide" hidden away among Mrs P's Knitting patterns. I fear for my lower back in the coming months.

I just got a neck crink trying to watch the positions on you tube...crikey

I have actually been through this experience when Mrs Jocky was on the H.R.T. Athiest is right you better get yourself fit. After six weeks of unrelenting sordid sexual activity I lost so much weight I actually went up with the window blind. Oh, horror, horror, horror.

I definitely have to start HRT; I hear it conquers time and gravity!

I recommend some stretching - perhaps some yoga - some high energy drinks and a couple of those new bladeless fans that don't take off your hands - just in case of topplings...

We have got to get Paul his own show..."The Love Doctor"

I'm not sure you guys are keeping our end up, so to speak.

Weeks of sexual gymnastics are the kind of things virile blokes like us take in our strides, and take the greatest of pleasure from!

You should all get divorced and marry younger women.

I hear the guys are taking up donations to bring you to the UK; change some of the wild women into domestic goddesses...I think Prince Charles has your first appointment

Better yours than the postman's.

[jocky]

You should all get divorced and marry younger women.

Atheist you must be minted. I could never afford a divorce, here is a sneak preview of my current financial state, this is just between ourselves remember.

Credit: £ 5000

Debit: £ 4999. 99 p. Harvey Nichols.

Balance: £ 00. 01p.

What a catch eh ! I could just see younger women falling over themselves to capture old Jocky.

[The Atheist]

Nah, they don't go for the money - I'm living proof of that!

It's that older, more settled, more experienced attitude they like.

Should I say something about young men and stop watches here?

[soundofmusic]

Better yours than the postman's.

I recall, as a child, we had a milkman who came to the door a bit after dad left in the morning, the postman came by in the afternoon and there was a very dark lebanese or arab fellow who sold brushes; mom always brought him in for coffee. My brother looks just like the "Fuller Brush Man"...he has none of the family curses of corpulence, maddness or later loss of virility (He has 5 strapping sons)
It is such a shame that stores and the online service industry has robbed lonely housewives of an extra "hand" around the house
And gentlemen, we mustn't forget the tupperware and avon ladies who brightened your days when the wife went out on Saturdays.

Atheist you must be minted. I could never afford a divorce, here is a sneak preview of my current financial state, this is just between ourselves remember.

Credit: £ 5000

Debit: £ 4999. 99 p. Harvey Nichols.

Balance: £ 00. 01p.

What a catch eh ! I could just see younger women falling over themselves to capture old Jocky.

You sound like a great prize if you also have bipolar disorder and alcoholism...we ladies in America find such things irresistible!

Nah, they don't go for the money - I'm living proof of that!

It's that older, more settled, more experienced attitude they like.

Should I say something about young men and stop watches here?

I am dying to know your opinion of youth today; but remember, Atheist, there is no one, even in NZ quite like you.
Actually, all of the fellows on the blokes thread are quite extrodinary...I'm sure that all of the ladies who are visiting would agree!

[The Atheist]

I am dying to know your opinion of youth today;...

Is there enough room on a LitNet page for me to tell you?

[prendrelemick]

Better yours than the postman's.

Mmm. I've always believed in delegation, "many hands make lighter work" and all that.

I have actually been through this experience when Mrs Jocky was on the H.R.T. Athiest is right you better get yourself fit. After six weeks of unrelenting sordid sexual activity I lost so much weight I actually went up with the window blind. Oh, horror, horror, horror.

That HRT is a dangerous thing, A chap comes home wanting nothing more than his pipe and slippers, to find his wife dressed in something pink and diaphanous with a red rose clamped between her best set of dentures.

Atheist you must be minted. I could never afford a divorce, here is a sneak preview of my current financial state, this is just between ourselves remember.

Credit: £ 5000

Debit: £ 4999. 99 p. Harvey Nichols.

Balance: £ 00. 01p.

What a catch eh ! I could just see younger women falling over themselves to capture old Jocky.

Aye you're still a catch for north of the border.

[Revolte]

Nah, they don't go for the money - I'm living proof of that!

It's that older, more settled, more experienced attitude they like.

Should I say something about young men and stop watches here?

I'm willing to bet none of us are "settled" ( by that I mean completely calm ), besides girls like wild, they just do, it thrills them, its the passion.

[soundofmusic]

Is there enough room on a LitNet page for me to tell you?

I guess you may have to start a blog.

Mmm. I've always believed in delegation, "many hands make lighter work" and all that.
That HRT is a dangerous thing, A chap comes home wanting nothing more than his pipe and slippers, to find his wife dressed in something pink and diaphanous with a red rose clamped between her best set of dentures.

Aye you're still a catch for north of the border.

Here, Here! If only I could have convinced both Mr. Sounds to be so openminded
I guess I'd better go on it now where the only thing I'm fighting with is mid-driff bulge and gravity!
Yes, we must spread these blokes out a bit; there are too many hiding in obscure zones with only one wench!

I'm willing to bet none of us are "settled" ( by that I mean completely calm ), besides girls like wild, they just do, it thrills them, its the passion.

Yes, we definitely like our men like our studs: wild, untamable, jerking and fighting as we coral them (Of course, fellows, that is only because it is every womans dream to break "the wild spirit" and bring about yet another domesticized gnome)

[The Atheist]

I'm willing to bet none of us are "settled" ( by that I mean completely calm ), besides girls like wild, they just do, it thrills them, its the passion.

But it works in practice, for some unexplained reason.

For every cougar, there's another woman who prefers a mature wine to one that was bottled last week.

I guess you may have to start a blog.

Now that you mention it, youth is about the only thing I don't blog about!

It's to do with the development of the responsibility gene, which doesn't occur until at least 23 for males - if ever - so it's not worth writing about.

Individually, I'll gladly swap horror stories.

How about the time that having two teenagers living with me, they each conspired to steal my car for a joyride in the middle of the night, only to be sprung because I know where my car is parked when I've driven it.

Yes, we definitely like our men like our studs: wild, untamable, jerking and fighting as we coral them (Of course, fellows, that is only because it is every womans dream to break "the wild spirit" and bring about yet another domesticized gnome)

We each try.

We both fail.

[soundofmusic]

But it works in practice, for some unexplained reason.

For every cougar, there's another woman who prefers a mature wine to one that was bottled last week.





Now that you mention it, youth is about the only thing I don't blog about!

It's to do with the development of the responsibility gene, which doesn't occur until at least 23 for males - if ever - so it's not worth writing about.


Individually, I'll gladly swap horror stories.

How about the time that having two teenagers living with me, they each conspired to steal my car for a joyride in the middle of the night, only to be sprung because I know where my car is parked when I've driven it.


We each try.

We both fail.

Most of the time, we cougars were the ones who liked "aged wines" in our day.
I guess I'm lucky I had little experience with raising boys! It looks like you were always several legnths ahead of them though!
I imagine you are still king of your castle, and always will be. I'm trying to decide if we ladies would like you to bring "bottled Atheist" to the states. On one hand, we'd always be smiling; on the other, we'd never have control of the hen coup again

[The Atheist]

It looks like you were always several legnths ahead of them though!

Ha!

I'll tell you a funny story about that. These two teenage dicks were my son and a friend of his who was running wild, so we thought we'd have a go at straightening him out. We were a few years too late in his case, and he turned out to be quite a hopeless case.

Once he'd flown his true colours, my main mission was to keep the little twerps apart as much as possible.

They were both 17 at the time and I was their legal guardian, so to speak, even though his mate had been kicked out.

I typed up a letter to the effect that I was banning them from associating and would dob them in to the police if they found together. I had a Justice of the Peace countersign my signature and served them each with a copy.

While they were sickened by it, the thought that it had no legal weight whatsoever never occurred to them, and that the JP's signature was purely to witness my signature went right over their heads.

Teenagers are easy because they think they're smarter than you, while in the real world, we know we're smarter than them.

So far, my plan worked - they stayed apart for the eight months until they were 18 and my boy moved into somewhat different circles, so while they hang out, they aren't the centre of each other's universe any more.

[jocky]

Mmm. I've always believed in delegation, "many hands make lighter work" and all that.

For the enlightenment of our friends from overseas, I will explain the main cultural difference between the Scots and the English from a historical perspective. In the old days my ancestors would drive deep into the heart of Northern England, burning the villages, laying waste to the land and taking no prisoners. In retaliation Mick's people would do exactly the same to us with one major difference. Their leader would look down coolly from his horse at the carnage and blackened faces of the survivors and cordially invite them to dinner. It is their impeccable manners that drives us nuts.

[The Atheist]

For the enlightenment of our friends from overseas, I will explain the main cultural difference between the Scots and the English from a historical perspective. In the old days my ancestors would drive deep into the heart of Northern England, burning the villages, laying waste to the land and taking no prisoners. In retaliation Mick's people would do exactly the same to us with one major difference. Their leader would look down coolly from his horse at the carnage and blackened faces of the survivors and cordially invite them to dinner. It is their impeccable manners that drives us nuts.

Ah.

I thought the difference was that the English bribed clans to do their dirty work for them.