Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[The Atheist]

He asked my wife what my secret was and she replied that I was simple.

Classic!

It's things like that which remind you why you got married.

[prendrelemick]

And What, may I ask, is Wrong with having no Chin?

or being simple?









or being overweight?









with anti socail habits?








I'm depressed now!

[The Atheist]

I'll get Parker to bring you a double

[Paulclem]

And What, may I ask, is Wrong with having no Chin?

or being simple?









or being overweight?









with anti socail habits?








I'm depressed now!

Hmmm. Do all men have these habits that are then villified by their other halves?

A kinship in vilification. The brotherhood of the despised. I'll have a double too please Parker. Parker... are you married too?

I see. Better get yourself one as well.

[prendrelemick]

There are certain male apendeges that need to be manually "arranged" from time to time, not to say scratched. Women don't seem to understand this.

Billiards anyone?

[The Atheist]

Hmmm. Do all men have these habits that are then villified by their other halves?

A kinship in vilification. The brotherhood of the despised. I'll have a double too please Parker. Parker... are you married too?

I see. Better get yourself one as well.

Parker isn't, and has never been, married.

Why do you think he has that permanent smile?

Oddly, Mrs Atheist and I don't have those problems. She's learnt to leave the seat up and never move the beer.

There are certain male apendeges that need to be manually "arranged" from time to time, not to say scratched. Women don't seem to understand this.

Billiards anyone?

Damn.

I was hoping women would understand that. I'm setting up a brassiere fitting service next week.

[soundofmusic]

How dare you sounds! - accuse me of having a closet rosary.


The cane is there for perfectly innocent reasons! And any red marks upon my but-tocks are from sitting too long upon fences.

I think I saw a picture of a caned buttocks on you-tube; Paul, was that Mick

I have hair, but not much of a face......

Incidentally my face strimmer -beard trimmer etc - broke down and I was contemplating getting another one. I said to my wife:

"...Or I could just shave off the tache and beard."

To which she replied:

"But then it would be obvious that you've got no chin."

So I got a new face strimmer...

Why do our mates only seem to notice that we haven't chins or waist lines after their names are on all of our property

By the way, Paul, Kenneth Branagh became a sex symbol with no chin or lips...there's still hope for you man

And What may I ask is Wrong with being Bald?

Nothing really, some men are very sexy when they're bald...Telly Savalous and Atheist does a good bald

Good god! We're clone couples!

When I shaved it all off for charity, it was suggested I use a paper bag until the beard grew back. I always keep my old beard trimmer as a back up.



Nothing.

If you're a frog.

Oh yes, I forgot, Kermit from the muppets is really sexy too

We've been married 19 years. I wonder what else she hasn't told me...

I do remember my friend was talking to my wife a few months ago. He's a bit up and down, and thinks that I'm always happy - which I am mainly.
He asked my wife what my secret was and she replied that I was simple.

Perhaps I should stick to not knowing what she hasn't told me...

Do you think she meant that you appreciate the simple pleasures

And What, may I ask, is Wrong with having no Chin?

or being simple?









or being overweight?


with anti socail habits?



I'm depressed now!

God, I just found my soul mate on the Blokes thread

I'll get Parker to bring you a double

Ask parker to mix me a Jose cuervo margarita and don't forget the chilled glass with kosher salt

Hmmm. Do all men have these habits that are then villified by their other halves?

:

All mens men have these habits, that we other halves think are adorable before we become the other half...then we realize our part of the half is getting the same way and our spouses are b... about it (Honey, you don't have to buy new clothes, just stop eating 8 meals a day)

There are certain male apendeges that need to be manually "arranged" from time to time, not to say scratched. Women don't seem to understand this.

We scratch too; we just run to the bathroom or do it in the car...Uh oh...here comes a semi

[Nightshade]

Looking for songs to sing with the Foundation (Kindergarten and Pre K/ nursery) kids was looking for boys and girls come out to play I endedup with this and it amused me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWIY33BMqQYnote its source!

[soundofmusic]

Looking for songs to sing with the Foundation (Kindergarten and Pre K/ nursery) kids was looking for boys and girls come out to play I endedup with this and it amused me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWIY33BMqQYnote its source!

I wasn't able to download it Nightshade, is there something wrong with my computer?

[Paulclem]

Why do our mates only seem to notice that we haven't chins or waist lines after their names are on all of our property

By the way, Paul, Kenneth Branagh became a sex symbol with no chin or lips...there's still hope for you man

Alas comparing me to Branagh is like comparing a prince to a pig.

[The Atheist]

Why do our mates only seem to notice that we haven't chins or waist lines after their names are on all of our property

It's another example of why we men are the better creature.

We look with critical eyes at the droops and wrinkles, the cellulite and varicose veins and say:

"You're just as beautiful as the day we met."

Blokes rule.

Alas comparing me to Branagh is like comparing a prince to a pig.

Whatever anyone thinks about Branagh, he's married to Emma Thompson.

I'd swap for a week.

[soundofmusic]

Why do our mates only seem to notice that we haven't chins or waist lines after their names are on all of our property

By the way, Paul, Kenneth Branagh became a sex symbol with no chin or lips...there's still hope for you man

Alas comparing me to Branagh is like comparing a prince to a pig.

Well Branagh is really good with makeup and lights; and he always makes sure he stands on an elevated stage or wears lifts so no one notices his heigth...Besides, Paul, you are a prince among men; I'm sure branagh would not go through 4 delivery room experiences

It's another example of why we men are the better creature.

We look with critical eyes at the droops and wrinkles, the cellulite and varicose veins and say:

"You're just as beautiful as the day we met."

Blokes rule.

Whatever anyone thinks about Branagh, he's married to Emma Thompson.

I'd swap for a week.

Unfortunately, all the men I've known are really honest about my appearance; except when they thought I looked really, really good.

No doubt, for a long time, Emma thought Kenneth was a pig...she dumped him about the time he started sleeping with Helena Bonham Carter...
If you want to swap for Emma now, you'll have to talk to husband, Alan Rickman (snape in Harry Potter and that hot psychopath in Die Hard 2)

[The Atheist]

No doubt, for a long time, Emma thought Kenneth was a pig...she dumped him about the time he started sleeping with Helena Bonham Carter...
If you want to swap for Emma now, you'll have to talk to husband, Alan Rickman (snape in Harry Potter and that hot psychopath in Die Hard 2)

Shows how much notice I take of the gossip - I didn't even know they'd split up.

Rickman would be no problem. I could take him out with my left hand.

[prendrelemick]

I'd settle for being a prince among pigs.

All mens men have these habits, that we other halves think are adorable before we become the other half...

Be honest Sounds, I reckon you ladies take us on as a challenge, (Its part of the attraction) and spend the ensuing years try to change us into a Romantic Ideal. (Or Cliff Richards, in my wife's case)

By the way I have in my sarnies today.

[The Atheist]

By the way I have in my sarnies today.

That's another reason to hate spammers - they've destroyed the reputation of one Britain's finest sandwich fillings!