Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[jocky]

Five grand sterling?

Two goats and a ram, I should think.

And where prithee am I going to steal them from at this time of night? I can get a couple of hamsters, but the kids will be heartbroken. What ever happened to the good old forgiving God from the mission days?

[jocky]

[QUOTE=soundofmusic;790004] I'm sure it said, "Jocky, my lad, I'm blessing you with 5'000 quid so you can send it to that lovely lass across the Atlantic

Soundo I am sure everyone in planet Britain will tell you that Scots and their money are not easily parted. I barely escaped the credit crunch by hiding my gold where no one would ever find it. Unfortunately I hid it so well I cant find it myself. Could anyone lend me a tenner to feed the kids, as the looks they are giving me are piteous to behold.

[soundofmusic]

[QUOTE=jocky;790311]

I'm sure it said, "Jocky, my lad, I'm blessing you with 5'000 quid so you can send it to that lovely lass across the Atlantic

Soundo I am sure everyone in planet Britain will tell you that Scots and their money are not easily parted. I barely escaped the credit crunch by hiding my gold where no one would ever find it. Unfortunately I hid it so well I cant find it myself. Could anyone lend me a tenner to feed the kids, as the looks they are giving me are piteous to behold.

Jocky, you sly dog, we all know your wife has bags full of money; Gracious, an important job and the bingo winnings...Did you look under the mattress cover?

[The Atheist]

And where prithee am I going to steal them from at this time of night? I can get a couple of hamsters, but the kids will be heartbroken. What ever happened to the good old forgiving God from the mission days?

Can you scratch up a couple of chickens instead?

If not, putting already dead ones in the oven and eating the flesh to the glory of some entity or other might work.

Especially with stuffing.

[jocky]

Can you scratch up a couple of chickens instead?

If not, putting already dead ones in the oven and eating the flesh to the glory of some entity or other might work.

Especially with stuffing.

As usual Atheist I am grateful for your sage advice There is however an insurmountable problem, I haven't got a shilling for the meter. Do you think a couple of tins of sardines, on toast, the toaster is still working, would suffice? I know some Deities have problems with pork and poultry but surely a couple of silver fishes, liberally covered in tomato sauce would suffice. This idea of penitence is getting to be a real pain in the but.

[soundofmusic]

I hear the American God accepts Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in lieu of cash; except on Easter and Thanksgiving, which requires the sacrafice of some fowl or cloved foot creature

[prendrelemick]

have you thought of going into the wildlands of Kelvin Grove and bagging a brace of wild haggis,

[jocky]

have you thought of going into the wildlands of Kelvin Grove and bagging a brace of wild haggis,

I had a feeling you might hit me with that one Mick! The latest historical research by Catherine Brown shows the earliest reference to haggis is to be found in the ENGLISH HUS WIFE published in 1615. This predates Burns' ADDRESS TO A HAGGIS by 171 years. So unless you can come up with evidence to the contrary haggis is officially English and your race is guilty of perpetuating the worst atrocity to be inflicted against humanity.

I hear the American God accepts Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in lieu of cash; except on Easter and Thanksgiving, which requires the sacrafice of some fowl or cloved foot creature

The complexity and diversity of Gods and their tastes never ceases to amaze me. The one thing they all seem to have in common is their propensity for being greedy S.O.Bs.

[soundofmusic]

The complexity and diversity of Gods and their tastes never ceases to amaze me. The one thing they all seem to have in common is their propensity for being greedy S.O.Bs.

Help us all, Jocky just brought the angry hands of God on all of us; look to the sky man, I think I see the 2nd coming, and what is at his side...why it's three angry birds

[jocky]

have you thought of going into the wildlands of Kelvin Grove and bagging a brace of wild haggis,

Plural, Haggii my friend, Haggii. It is an interesting proposition though, killing a couple of mythological creatures to appease a mythological God. If I ever have to go hunting in the wildlands of Kelvin Grove the bankers will have cause to regret it, or my name is not Jocky.

Help us all, Jocky.why it's three angry birds

The ThreeSparrows problem is solved, Atheist sorted that out big time as I knew he would.

[soundofmusic]

The ThreeSparrows problem is solved, Atheist sorted that out big time as I knew he would.

So does that mean my birthday party's back on The original crowd have all gone pious on me; but, I think I have a line on those two blonde athletes Atheist so admired. Maybe they'll jump out of a cake or smack a few balls around, or whatever hot female athletes do....

[prendrelemick]

Can I come? I've just about recovered from last Christmas, -

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...k/celeb020.jpg

and am up for another session.

[The Atheist]

As usual Atheist I am grateful for your sage advice There is however an insurmountable problem, I haven't got a shilling for the meter. Do you think a couple of tins of sardines, on toast, the toaster is still working, would suffice? I know some Deities have problems with pork and poultry but surely a couple of silver fishes, liberally covered in tomato sauce would suffice. This idea of penitence is getting to be a real pain in the but.

Ahh, do they still make MacConnachies Herrings in Tomato Sauce?

They were divine, so they'd be good and you don't even need a toaster!

Can I come? I've just about recovered from last Christmas, -

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...k/celeb020.jpg

and am up for another session.

Jeez, I hope you manage to sleep that off in the next two months.

[jocky]

Can I come? I've just about recovered from last Christmas, -

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...k/celeb020.jpg

and am up for another session.

How many times have you been warned to stay away from the Bay Horse in Tunstall ? The last time my son in law went there for a quiet pint he ended up in a boat headed for the Faroe Isles dressed up as an Apache squaw, with arrows in his *** for effect.

Ahh, do they still make MacConnachies Herrings in Tomato Sauce?

Sadly not Atheist, you have brought a tear to my eye as I remember those days when me and Denise sipped cheap cider followed by a couple of kippers between divinity lectures. Happy days

You will love this one Atheist. Three University Professors of the supernatural came in to explain transubstantiation, they were dressed up for the occasion and looking suitably scary. They came mobhanded just in case some dullard might question them. They explained the body and the blood of Christ at the appointed moment of mass. There was a singular silence, which seemed to go on forever, until some idiot, I forget who, told them to get to f**k. They left in a hurry and one of their number was heard to say ' whatever happened to the good Samaritans ' ?

[soundofmusic]

Can I come? I've just about recovered from last Christmas, -

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...k/celeb020.jpg

and am up for another session.

Maybe we'll just celebrate until Christmas; Sure you're invited . We're interviewing for entertainment; what do you think would make all the gents and lasses smile?

How many times have you been warned to stay away from the Bay Horse in Tunstall ? The last time my son in law went there for a quiet pint he ended up in a boat headed for the Faroe Isles dressed up as an Apache squaw, with arrows in his *** for effect.

I just invited prendrelemick to our party; do you think he can borrow your son-in-laws squall outfit; That santa hat was getting alittle seedy and snug I see you're in fine form tonight; is Neely badly injured? By the way, all the girls are insisting you wear your kilt to the party.