Ladies, what don't you like to be called by men?

[Janine]

Hummm Janine about the librarian thing, I know I am supposed to call men sir and gentleman ( and frankly it bugs the life out of me ) and women are Lady and Madam. I cant do it though without cringing so when evere I have to force myself to because of the presence of senior mangmnet I end up coming across as wierd.

Nightshade, that's a shame it's so strict at your library. It isn't like that at mine at all. Most of the people working there are casual and they don't have such a rule; a few are really nice and friendly, too. It's only involving this one library aid; she is not even a full-fledged librarian, to my knowlege. She just likes to act like an authority and scold people. She is always trying to get me on some offense, such as taking out too many things at once; most times she has been proven wrong, because the computer didn't register it right away or she used it wrong. I think only once I failed to bring something back; I am proud to say I am a pretty upstanding user of the library. That's what kills me when she gets on my case. It can be so annoying and I notice she uses Ma'am in a certain stern tone of voice when she is doing this or thinking she is the head of the library, which she is not! She is the main one to always yell at the kids, even if they make a whimper. I find her totally annoying. One could try to be nicer.

[Virgil]

I can't understand why some of you don't like the term madam. I will call everyone by their proper name unless of course I don't know it. On those occaisions I don't know who I'm talking to, I will use "miss" or "madam." I would think both are respectful terms. I have no intention of slighting people, so if I am please let me know.

As to my wife, I call her by an endearing form of her name or a shortened form of her name. None of the above in the poll.

[Nightshade]

Nightshade, that's a shame it's so strict at your library. It isn't like that at mine at all. Most of the people working there are casual and they don't have such a rule; a few are really nice and friendly, too. It's only involving this one library aid; she is not even a full-fledged librarian, to my knowlege. She just likes to act like an authority and scold people. She is always trying to get me on some offense, such as taking out too many things at once; most times she has been proven wrong, because the computer didn't register it right away or she used it wrong. I think only once I failed to bring something back; I am proud to say I am a pretty upstanding user of the library. That's what kills me when she gets on my case. It can be so annoying and I notice she uses Ma'am in a certain stern tone of voice when she is doing this or thinking she is the head of the library, which she is not! She is the main one to always yell at the kids, even if they make a whimper. I find her totally annoying. One could try to be nicer.

Well i isnt a rule excatly but reffering to people as this woman and this man is kind of rude. ... SO its excuse me librarin this lady has an issue she wants to report... or Ahem the lady back there is taking her bad day out on me... make her go away please! Although I have gotten smarted the library is glass front so when certain customers who are particaully difficult or who have issues with me start up the drive I mysetiously get 'busy' and dissapeare from the counter area, if I can.

[Janine]

Well i isnt a rule excatly but reffering to people as this woman and this man is kind of rude. ... SO its excuse me librarin this lady has an issue she wants to report... or Ahem the lady back there is taking her bad day out on me... make her go away please! Although I have gotten smarted the library is glass front so when certain customers who are particaully difficult or who have issues with me start up the drive I mysetiously get 'busy' and dissapeare from the counter area, if I can.

Oh, I see what you mean, Nightshade. You are on the other end working in the library. You could hardly yell out, hey you? haha.. I guess a lot of the people in my little local libary know me by name. I pretty much make it a habit to learn their names, because I am usually like that; I like people. Also, I go there so often I might as well feel comfortable and at home. I even now know the security guard's name; he's Tom and I will ask him what he's reading or how his day went. He is a very nice older man. I usually kid around with the other librarians, but I guess there is always one fly in the ointment, so to speak, right? Once I did show this tempermental woman my grand-daughter's photo and then she was nicer, well for awhile. I just don't care for her calling me Ma'am.

Virgil, isn't Madame a designation for a married woman or an older woman? I remember in the 60's, 70's with Women's Lib, they were making a big deal out of using Miss; they said one should be called Ms instead; pretty silly, if you think about it.

[Lynne50]

I work in a library too. I always refer to our female patrons as Miss or Ma'am, and the male patrons as Sir or Son, depending on their ages. I guess it's better than 'Hey You!" A few years back, a colleague of mine would address all of us, all women, by Miss Lynne, Miss Joan, etc. It was cute for awhile, but then it got kind of old. She was using it as a term of endearment, so I didn't say anything. However, just recently, a African American girl came to work at the library as a page. She reshelves books and magazines and works very hard. Well, she started to call all of us, Miss Lynne, etc. It made me very uncomfortable so I had to tell her that I was a coworker and she had to drop the Miss. We all use our first names, even with our bosses, so I definitely wanted her to do the same.

Well, now back to the other names I like to be called. First, my husband calls me Hon, but I don't really like Honey. I know a dog named Honey. Then there was a boyfriend, way back in another life, who called me Babe. I liked that very much. At the time, it was flattering. Now, ever since our kids were born, we're just plain old Mom and Dad. I call my husband Dad and he calls me Mom.

One last question? Why do some people call their boy children 'Mom"? Can't figure that one out?

[Lady Otter]

Bogart can call a woman whatever the hell he wants

For any sort of pet name, it really comes down to the context. Any of those names can come across as derogatory depending on who is saying it and in what way. Even still though, I'm more put off by someone I don't really know calling my be a short form of my real name than by one of those terms. Those pet names when said by someone else are just words, but the short form of my name implies familiarity and people only call me that when they know me well.

I have no problem with female or woman either. The prefixes fe- and wo- (which aren't prefixes at all) don't have any specific meaning, let alone one that implies dependency. I remember having a discussion in a class once about feminists who tried to have the spelling of "woman" changed to "womyn". Silly.

I'm in limbo (despite an advanced age) between getting my M.A. status at my university and being an alumnae. Which means, I cannot access my beloved Oxford Dictionary. I'd love the roots of woman, lady, lass, female, etc. Alas(s), I must wait a semester.

In the meantime, I prefer She-who-must-be-obeyed. Unfortunately, I have a teenager, and it doesn't seem to work very well.

[JuniperWoolf]

I can't understand why some of you don't like the term madam. I will call everyone by their proper name unless of course I don't know it. On those occaisions I don't know who I'm talking to, I will use "miss" or "madam." I would think both are respectful terms. I have no intention of slighting people, so if I am please let me know.

Well, I don't really like the term "madam" because that is what we call female pimps here (I don't feel slighted by you though, I'm pretty sure you're not calling me a pimp).

[Janine]

I work in a library too. I always refer to our female patrons as Miss or Ma'am, and the male patrons as Sir or Son, depending on their ages. I guess it's better than 'Hey You!" A few years back, a colleague of mine would address all of us, all women, by Miss Lynne, Miss Joan, etc. It was cute for awhile, but then it got kind of old. She was using it as a term of endearment, so I didn't say anything. However, just recently, a African American girl came to work at the library as a page. She reshelves books and magazines and works very hard. Well, she started to call all of us, Miss Lynne, etc. It made me very uncomfortable so I had to tell her that I was a coworker and she had to drop the Miss. We all use our first names, even with our bosses, so I definitely wanted her to do the same.

Well, now back to the other names I like to be called. First, my husband calls me Hon, but I don't really like Honey. I know a dog named Honey. Then there was a boyfriend, way back in another life, who called me Babe. I liked that very much. At the time, it was flattering. Now, ever since our kids were born, we're just plain old Mom and Dad. I call my husband Dad and he calls me Mom.

One last question? Why do some people call their boy children 'Mom"? Can't figure that one out?

Lynne, my daughter-in-law calls my grand-daughter 'Mommy' sometimes. I don't get that either. I never heard anyone do that before. I thought your husband called you 'Mom'. I found that unique and kind of cute. Did you really like being called 'Babe'? I don't like being called 'Babe' at all. I know this guy one year younger than I am' who still calls women 'Babe'. It rather annoys me sometimes.

[Virgil]

Well, I don't really like the term "madam" because that is what we call female pimps here (I don't feel slighted by you though, I'm pretty sure you're not calling me a pimp).

From M-W:

Main Entry:mad·am
Pronunciation:\ˈma-dəm\
Function:noun
Inflected Form(s)lural madams
Etymology:Middle English, from Anglo-French ma dame, literally, my lady
Date:14th century
1plural mes·dames \mā-ˈdäm, -ˈdam\ : lady —used without a name as a form of respectful or polite address to a woman
2: mistress 1 —used as a title formerly with the given name but now with the surname or especially with a designation of rank or office <Madam Chairman><Madam President>
3: the female head of a house of prostitution
4: the female head of a household : wife

True, it can be the head of a house of prostitution, but it's predominantly a term for a woman of rank. Plus the etymology is quite noble. The prostitution reference is an outgrowth of cynicism and turning a noble thing on its head. Plus madam is the female compliment to the masculine "sir."

[Maximilianus]

Well, I don't really like the term "madam" because that is what we call female pimps here (I don't feel slighted by you though, I'm pretty sure you're not calling me a pimp).

There are Spanish- and Italian-speaking places where the term "madama" is used to refer to a female pimp. I believe the French equivalent "madamme" is also used the same way in some places. So it's logical if the English "madam" has a similar usage, and it's logical that many ladies dislike the word because of this unfortunate connotation. However I agree with Virgil that this is not the main meaning of the word and the word itself has a respectable etymology, somewhat profaned by people with a twisted mind.

One last question? Why do some people call their boy children 'Mom"? Can't figure that one out?

Lynne, my daughter-in-law calls my grand-daughter 'Mommy' sometimes. I don't get that either. I never heard anyone do that before. I thought your husband called you 'Mom'. I found that unique and kind of cute.

In Spanish-speaking countries parents often call their daughters with the equivalent for "mom" and "mommy", and their sons with the equivalent for "dad" and "daddy".

Doing a web search I found that sometimes the word "mom" is used as an adjective to describe something that is really great, nice, kind or helpful. So we could fairly say "This boy is so mom" and it would be correct though I dunno in which exact places the word is really used with this meaning.
However, based upon this alternative meaning of "mom", I believe that if every parent wants their offspring to be great, nice, kind and helpful, then this must be a reason to call them "mom". Just a theory, though I believe it makes some sense.

[prendrelemick]

I think the anglo saxons had "man" for human being, male or female. Female humans became "wife-man" shortened to wiman, then woman. Males were called "weapon-mans." I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

They also had "quean" for a female, which sounds rather nice I think.

The song in my head, since reading this thread is "Whats new pussycat" unfortunately.

[Nightshade]

is that pronounced Queen?

And I dont like miss or MAdam because more often than not when its addressed at me to dat anyway I am either in some kind of trouble or being patronised.

[Janine]

anyone want to call me princess?....hahaha...queen sounds a little too matronly to me...but 'royalty' in any form would feel nice somedays....LOL

[LMK]

That's why I usually request...Duchess...

[Janine]

That's why I usually request...Duchess...

hahah..how 'bout 'Most Esteemed Duchess'.....