Ladies, what don't you like to be called by men?

[papayahed]

I agree with whoever else said it depends on the context. Sometime ago on litnet someone took offense to me using the term "chick", I forgot why or who but I still use it occasionally when refering to other women.

Just recently a supplier started to call me "babe". I had to tell him it wasn't appropriate. If I would have known the guy in any other context besides work it might have been ok.

And since I moved down south I've been introduced to "Miss Papaya". All the ladies are "Miss _____", it's seems very genteel and southern. My other southern favorite is "Darlin'" but it has to be said with that southern accent and by someone I know and like.

[*Classic*Charm*]

A customer at work called me "kid" today. "Thanks, kid". I'm your friggin bank teller and NOT a kid. That bugged me.

[papayahed]

oh, I forgot A coworker tried to give me the nickname "Double D". I nipped that one in the bud.

[Niamh]

oh, I forgot A coworker tried to give me the nickname "Double D". I nipped that one in the bud.

they didnt!!!

[*Classic*Charm*]

oh, I forgot A coworker tried to give me the nickname "Double D". I nipped that one in the bud.

Please tell me you fixed that by calling him "No Nuts" and making it literal with your foot.

[Nightshade]

oh, I forgot A coworker tried to give me the nickname "Double D". I nipped that one in the bud.

Obvioulsy they are now the Double D. Dead Dummy!

[Petrarch's Love]

I think any of those terms could be either really annoying or OK depending on the context. I've noticed that the problem for me and, I would imagine, a lot of women, when it comes to these kinds of terms of "endearment" is when they are used in a depersonalized or objectifying way. The huge issue I have with being called something like "babe" or "baby" is that it is, more often than not, an indication that the guy isn't interested in me or who I am at all. It's just a fill in the blank term for any woman. If you're already in a relationship with a man and you've already formed a bond and established that he knows, respects, and cares for you, then it doesn't bug a woman as much if he occasionally calls her by something other than her name, though probably the more personal or particular a pet name is, the more either a man or a woman likes it because it reinforces that the person really has him or her in mind (Though there are exceptions. Really, Virg., how could you fall into the old weight trap?). If, however, you're just dating a guy and he refers to you as "baby" (the one that sets me off the most personally) more than using your real name, then you start to get the feeling you're not special to him. He would call any woman the same thing, and you are just any woman to him...just some "baby" or "chick" or "honey" that makes a nice accessory to his life. I once went on a couple of dates with a guy who was such an extreme example of this problem (actually, he was an extreme example of many problems...not sure how we got to date 2) that when, at the end of the second date, he said "hey, babe, let's go up to my place" I actually was curious enough to ask if he remembered my name. He didn't. Needless to say I told him "later babe."

Incidently, this thread has the song "Don't Call Me Baby" stuck in my head. Don't suppose anyone here knows it? I think it came out about 2000 in my freshman year of college, with sort of a heavy disco beat and there used to be a group of girls in my dorm who would get together and sing along to the refrain and lines like "behind my smile is my IQ" together in goofy dancing quasi-feminist solidarity.

[Maximilianus]

I can't stand one of my librarians, because she seems to have a condesending attitude when she refers to me as Ma'me. I think that is how you spell it...not sure now...like Yes, Ma'me, no Ma'me...it makes me feel old.

Probably she's just trying to be polite when addressing you, and if you dislike it mayhap you can tell her, in a polite way, that you don't like being called a ma'am. By the way, ma'am is the correct spelling.

hahah...I just realised I totally voted backwards to my desires. I thought the wording of the question was different...duh... I abhor being called Baby or Chick, so I imagine if I had voted right I would be with the majority. I like best to be called 'Lady', if it's someone new or barely known to me; if a steady boyfriend, 'honey' is endearing; otherwise I like to be called by my name. I wish I could redo my dumb vote.

Mistakes happen

I think I would just use his name. No matter how many other people have called his name, I know for sure that nobody else can call him the way I do. Nobody else can love him the way I do.

I guess you could, but then we might be in danger of implying that male chickens are in some way subordinate to female chickens, which could in turn lead to a male chicken mass uprising. You can't be too careful about these things, you know

I know

I've noticed that the problem for me and, I would imagine, a lot of women, when it comes to these kinds of terms of "endearment" is when they are used in a depersonalized or objectifying way. The huge issue I have with being called something like "babe" or "baby" is that it is, more often than not, an indication that the guy isn't interested in me or who I am at all. It's just a fill in the blank term for any woman. If you're already in a relationship with a man and you've already formed a bond and established that he knows, respects, and cares for you, then it doesn't bug a woman as much if he occasionally calls her by something other than her name, though probably the more personal or particular a pet name is, the more either a man or a woman likes it because it reinforces that the person really has him or her in mind (Though there are exceptions. Really, Virg., how could you fall into the old weight trap?). If, however, you're just dating a guy and he refers to you as "baby" (the one that sets me off the most personally) more than using your real name, then you start to get the feeling you're not special to him. He would call any woman the same thing, and you are just any woman to him...just some "baby" or "chick" or "honey" that makes a nice accessory to his life. I once went on a couple of dates with a guy who was such an extreme example of this problem (actually, he was an extreme example of many problems...not sure how we got to date 2) that when, at the end of the second date, he said "hey, babe, let's go up to my place" I actually was curious enough to ask if he remembered my name. He didn't. Needless to say I told him "later babe."

You did well to dispatch that guy. Something similar happens in my country when a lady is addressed by a man as a "cosita" which in English is the same as calling someone a "thingie". And some ladies keep the habit of calling a man they like a "papi" or "papito", that is "daddy" in English, as though not having enough with one father and looking for another. Human nature being objectified, or so I feel it. And it also happens that they don't learn your name first, before calling you one of those nicknames. So people objectify people everywhere in a similar fashion.

a group of girls in my dorm who would get together and sing along to the refrain and lines like "behind my smile is my IQ" together in goofy dancing quasi-feminist solidarity.

I want to point out "behind my smile is my IQ". Very great concept!

[JuniperWoolf]

I hate it when people call women the b-word (not "baby"). It makes me sad. I rather like being called a "chick." It's like the famale version of "dude" to me. "Lady" makes me feel like I'm being yelled at by a cab driver (as in "Hey lady! Get out of the road!").

[prendrelemick]

It seems that northern Britain has loads of pet names that are fowl. chick, chuck, chicken, hen, hin, hinny, and ducks.
I call my daughters "Me lover" but it essential to use an exaggerated west country accent when doing so.

[Maximilianus]

It seems that northern Britain has loads of pet names that are fowl. chick, chuck, chicken, hen, hin, hinny, and ducks.
I call my daughters "Me lover" but it essential to use an exaggerated west country accent when doing so.

I didn't know that fowl, hen, hin and hinny were somewhere in use to address a lady. Thanks for sharing the info. I wouldn't call a lady by these ones though.

[TheFifthElement]

Incidently, this thread has the song "Don't Call Me Baby" stuck in my head. Don't suppose anyone here knows it? I think it came out about 2000 in my freshman year of college, with sort of a heavy disco beat and there used to be a group of girls in my dorm who would get together and sing along to the refrain and lines like "behind my smile is my IQ" together in goofy dancing quasi-feminist solidarity.

Ugh, thanks Petrarch I'll have that song in my head all day now. Madison Avenue, boy does that seem a long time ago

[Niamh]

Ugh, thanks Petrarch I'll have that song in my head all day now. Madison Avenue, boy does that seem a long time ago

Yeah that songs been in my head since i first posted in this thread.

[Janine]

It must be a regional thing; because quite frankly, I have never heard anyone around her call a woman chick. It sounds totally strange to me.

Thanks, Max, for answering my post (couple back). Yes, I did definitely get mixed up on the voting...oh well....

As far as that librarian is concerned, if I asked her not to call me Ma'am she would be really nasty and defensive with me...no, let it be; she has her ways...somedays she is nice and other days she is downright defensive and strange; it's when she is annoyed at something, she calls me Ma'am. I find it rather irritating, but I just ignore it. I try my best to avoid her and check out with someone else. All the other librarians are very nice.

[Nightshade]

Hummm Janine about the librarian thing, I know I am supposed to call men sir and gentleman ( and frankly it bugs the life out of me ) and women are Lady and Madam. I cant do it though without cringing so when evere I have to force myself to because of the presence of senior mangmnet I end up coming across as wierd.