News

[papayahed]

HaHa:

http://www.wackywarnings.com/

[barbara0207]

Hilarious!

[Taliesin]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/12...tt_alzheimers/

Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's
An embuggerance


Terry Pratchett has been diagnosed with a rare form of early onset Alzheimer's, as he announced yesterday with a post to the web. The best-selling author of the Discworld fantasy books is 59 years-old.

"I would have liked to keep this one quiet for a little while, but because of upcoming conventions and of course the need to keep my publishers informed, it seems to me unfair to withhold the news," Pratchett wrote on the web site run by Paul Kidby, who has provided Discworld cover art in recent years. "We are taking it fairly philosophically down here and possibly with a mild optimism."

According to The Guardian, Pratchett underwent some medical tests earlier this year after "having problems with hand-eye coordination and dexterity." At the time, it was suggested that he'd had a mild stroke, but Pratchett now says the culprit was Alzheimer's.

Pratchett calls his diagnosis "an embuggerance," but he says that he expects "to meet most current and, as far as possible, future commitments." He aims to complete his next novel, "Nation," and is beginning to lay down notes for another, "Unseen Academicals."

"Frankly, I would prefer it if people kept things cheerful, because I think there's time for at least a few more books yet," Prachett wrote.

"Nation" and "Unseen Academicals" are not part of the Discworld series. The latest Discworld instalment, "Making Money," arrived earlier this year. In all, Pratchett has sold 55 million books, according to The Guardian, and in 1998, he was awarded an OBE for services to British Literature.

After announcing his diagnosis, Pratchett added a post script: "I would just like to draw attention to everyone reading the above that this should be interpreted as 'I am not dead'. I will, of course, be dead at some future point, as will everybody else. For me, this maybe further off than you think - it's too soon to tell. I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do,' but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry."

[Lote-Tree]

Woman jailed for testicle attack A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison. Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard. She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours." Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/m...de/4253849.stm

ouuuuccccccchhhhhh!

[SleepyWitch]

ouch indeed. the poor little testicle. what a cruel woman!

Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

what a neat way of saying the couldn't sew the balls back on

[pussnboots]

OWWEEEE!!!! I guess there's one less nut in the world!!!!

[Niamh]

OWWEEEE!!!! I guess there's one less nut in the world!!!!

[Lily Adams]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

I love you guys!!! Those last few posts made me have an annuerism because I laughed so hard...

This is the time where I REALLY need a ROTFL smiley.

[Wizard272002]

FROM:

http://sports.aol.com/story/_a/skate...27043409990001

Skater Proposes to Partner on Ice
By NANCY ARMOUR,
AP
Posted: 2008-01-27 10:57:47
ST. PAUL, Minn. (Jan. 26) - Keauna McLaughlin and Rockne Brubaker got the title, John Baldwin Jr. got the girl.

John Baldwin shocked his skating partner and longtime girlfriend Rena Inoue with a marriage proposal after the pair had completed their routine at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships.

McLaughlin and Brubaker, last year's junior world champions, served notice they're going to be a threat on the senior stage as well, winning the pairs title at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships on Saturday. Their overall score of 190.74 was more than seven points ahead of Baldwin and Rena Inoue, two-time U.S. champions. Brooke Castile and Ben Okolski, last year's champions, were third.

"I can't believe we're national champions," McLaughlin said, her eyes wide.

Inoue and Baldwin have plenty to celebrate, too. As they took their bows, Baldwin dropped to his knees and asked his longtime girlfriend to marry him. Stunned, she could only stare at him at first.

"I didn't know. He didn't tell me and I don't think he told anybody," Inoue said. "At first I was just so shocked. I didn't know what was going on here."

Said Baldwin, "I told her she's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, how much respect I have for her and that everything I've accomplished in my career and on the ice is because of her."

As the crowd cheered, Baldwin asked again. With tears rolling down her face, Inoue said yes.

There were no such surprises in ice dance, just more surpassing excellence from Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto. The Olympic silver medalists won their record-tying fifth title with a technically ambitious and beautifully executed performance to music by Chopin. They scored 216.07 points, easily beating training partners Meryl Davis and Charlie White.

"I said to Ben at the end, `This is the best in years,"' Belbin said.

The only thing tarnishing McLaughlin and Brubaker's win is the knowledge that they can't take on the world - yet. She only turned 15 in September, missing the age cutoff for the world championships in March by two months.

Still, you can bet the Germans and Chinese will be keeping an eye on these two.

"We want to be the first American team to win the Olympics, that's our big goal," McLaughlin said. "That's my dream."

....

[Anza]

awwwwwwwwwww

[Bakiryu]

eeeeeee, so sweet!

[Scheherazade]

Britons are losing a grip on fact and fiction - with nearly one in four believing Winston Churchill and Florence Nightingale are myths and more than half thinking Sherlock Holmes actually existed.

A very real figureIn a new survey, 47% of people thought that Richard the Lionheart, the 12th-century English king, was a myth.

They were also under the impression that Charles Dickens, one of the most famous writers in English literature, was a fictional character himself.

Indian political leader Gandhi; Cleopatra, ruler of ancient Egypt; adventurer Sir Walter Raleigh; British military leader Bernard Montgomery; and Boudica, famous for leading a major uprising against occupying Roman forces, were all thought to be characters dreamt up for films and books.

Britons thought fictional characters like Sherlock Holmes and pilot Biggles were real, according to the survey of 3,000 people commissioned to celebrate UKTV Gold's forthcoming Robin Hood season.

Over half of those questioned (58%) believe that the detective created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle for his novels of the late 1880s actually lived in Baker Street, with sidekick Watson.

:: Historical figures and the percentage of Britons who believe they are myths:
1. Richard the Lionheart (47%)
2. Winston Churchill (23%)
3. Florence Nightingale (23%)
4. Bernard Montgomery (6%)
5. Boudica (5%)
6. Sir Walter Raleigh (4%)
7. Duke of Wellington (4%)
8. Cleopatra (4%)
9. Gandhi (3%)
10. Charles Dickens (3%)

:: Fictional figures and the percentage of Britons who believe they are real:
Sherlock Holmes (58%)
Biggles (33%)

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/...303814,00.html

[Niamh]

i think they need to make history compulsory in ALL UK schools. Thats just shocking!

[Wizard272002]

Mother sacrificed her life by refusing cancer treatment so her premature baby would live

Four months into her pregnancy, Lorraine Allard was devastated to learn she was in the advanced stages of cancer.

Doctors advised her to have an abortion and start chemotherapy straight away.

Instead, with steadfast courage, she insisted on waiting long enough to give her unborn son a chance to survive, telling her husband Martyn: "If I am going to die, my baby is going to live."

A caesarean delivery was scheduled at 26 weeks, but Mrs Allard went into premature labour a week before and Liam was born on November 18.

She then started chemotherapy, but died on January 18 - having left her bed a handful of times to cuddle her son beside his incubator.

"Lorraine was positive all the way through - she had strength for both of us," Mr Allard said yesterday.

"Towards the end we knew things weren't going well, but she was overjoyed that she had given life to Liam."

The 34-year-old oilfield technician from St Olaves, near Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, and his 33-year-old wife already had three daughters - Leah, ten, Amy, eight, and Courtney, 20 months - when they learned they were expecting their first boy.

"We were going to have the full set and didn't plan to have any more children after that," said Mr Allard.

But in October last year, his wife started suffering stomach cramps and tests at James Paget Hospital in Gorleston revealed tumours on her liver.

It is believed the disease spread from bowel cancer that had been growing unnoticed for years.

"The doctors said they couldn't do anything because she was pregnant," said Mr Allard.

"She told them straight away they were not going to get rid of the baby. She'd have lost the will to fight."

Mrs Allard went into labour a couple of weeks after the diagnosis and gave birth at the Norfolk and Norwich University NHS Hospital in Norwich.

"Liam was so tiny, just 1lb 11oz, so the nurse picked him up and allowed Lorraine to give him a little kiss before he was taken to an incubator," said Mr Allard.

"She was so emotional. She had been so determined to give him the best chance and was happy that he had been born naturally, which meant she wouldn't have to recover for a couple of weeks after a caesarean before beginning the chemotherapy."

The treatment began almost immediately and Mrs Allard spent her time recuperating at home, apart from four visits to her newborn son.

The first was when he was two weeks old, during which a treasured photo of her cuddling him was taken.

Liam has responded well to his care and it is hoped he will be sent home from hospital in early March.

But his mother's health started to deteriorate just before Christmas and a scan on January 17 revealed the tumours were still growing.

She died the following day. Mr Allard said: "The doctors had said the cancer was no longer curable, although they were trying to shrink the tumours - which they thought might give her a couple of years.

"On the day Lorraine died, she hadn't eaten for two weeks and couldn't drink.

"I laid beside her and she was gripping my hand quite tight.

"We were like that for about half an hour. I could feel against my chest that her heart was slowing down. She just slipped away after that. It was very peaceful.

"When Liam is old enough, I won't tell him that Lorraine gave her life for him, but I will say she made sure he had a good chance of life.

"She told me she didn't want him to feel bad about it."

Mrs Allard's father, Tom Berry, said: "I was overwhelmed by the way Lorraine took it.

"She lived for her husband and children. She was a big personality with a heart of gold."

Babies born at 25 weeks have a 50 per cent chance of survival.

This goes down to 39 per cent at 24 weeks and 17 per cent - or a one in six chance - at 23 weeks.

[Pensive]

Mother sacrificed her life by refusing cancer treatment so her premature baby would live

Four months into her pregnancy, Lorraine Allard was devastated to learn she was in the advanced stages of cancer.

Doctors advised her to have an abortion and start chemotherapy straight away.

Instead, with steadfast courage, she insisted on waiting long enough to give her unborn son a chance to survive, telling her husband Martyn: "If I am going to die, my baby is going to live."

A caesarean delivery was scheduled at 26 weeks, but Mrs Allard went into premature labour a week before and Liam was born on November 18.

She then started chemotherapy, but died on January 18 - having left her bed a handful of times to cuddle her son beside his incubator.

"Lorraine was positive all the way through - she had strength for both of us," Mr Allard said yesterday.

"Towards the end we knew things weren't going well, but she was overjoyed that she had given life to Liam."

The 34-year-old oilfield technician from St Olaves, near Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, and his 33-year-old wife already had three daughters - Leah, ten, Amy, eight, and Courtney, 20 months - when they learned they were expecting their first boy.

"We were going to have the full set and didn't plan to have any more children after that," said Mr Allard.

But in October last year, his wife started suffering stomach cramps and tests at James Paget Hospital in Gorleston revealed tumours on her liver.

It is believed the disease spread from bowel cancer that had been growing unnoticed for years.

"The doctors said they couldn't do anything because she was pregnant," said Mr Allard.

"She told them straight away they were not going to get rid of the baby. She'd have lost the will to fight."

Mrs Allard went into labour a couple of weeks after the diagnosis and gave birth at the Norfolk and Norwich University NHS Hospital in Norwich.

"Liam was so tiny, just 1lb 11oz, so the nurse picked him up and allowed Lorraine to give him a little kiss before he was taken to an incubator," said Mr Allard.

"She was so emotional. She had been so determined to give him the best chance and was happy that he had been born naturally, which meant she wouldn't have to recover for a couple of weeks after a caesarean before beginning the chemotherapy."

The treatment began almost immediately and Mrs Allard spent her time recuperating at home, apart from four visits to her newborn son.

The first was when he was two weeks old, during which a treasured photo of her cuddling him was taken.

Liam has responded well to his care and it is hoped he will be sent home from hospital in early March.

But his mother's health started to deteriorate just before Christmas and a scan on January 17 revealed the tumours were still growing.

She died the following day. Mr Allard said: "The doctors had said the cancer was no longer curable, although they were trying to shrink the tumours - which they thought might give her a couple of years.

"On the day Lorraine died, she hadn't eaten for two weeks and couldn't drink.

"I laid beside her and she was gripping my hand quite tight.

"We were like that for about half an hour. I could feel against my chest that her heart was slowing down. She just slipped away after that. It was very peaceful.

"When Liam is old enough, I won't tell him that Lorraine gave her life for him, but I will say she made sure he had a good chance of life.

"She told me she didn't want him to feel bad about it."

Mrs Allard's father, Tom Berry, said: "I was overwhelmed by the way Lorraine took it.

"She lived for her husband and children. She was a big personality with a heart of gold."

Babies born at 25 weeks have a 50 per cent chance of survival.

This goes down to 39 per cent at 24 weeks and 17 per cent - or a one in six chance - at 23 weeks.

Wow, but mothers just seem to be like this...