Korova Milkbar (no girls allowed)

[Shalot]

Don't know who came up with THIS Man Law: 18: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

But as all true men know, it violates male bathroom etiquette. To explain, let's take the following scenario: We have a typical public Loo, which has 5 urinals along the wall. Man A enters to find an empty Loo. He will invariably choose either urinal 1 or 5, probably 5 as it is furtherest from the door. Man B comes in, sees man A, and goes to urinal 1. No thinking required, he wants as much space as possible between him and man A. Man C enters, sees the other two, and freezes, but goes to urinal 3. At least he has a buffer zone of a urinal on each side. Man D enters, and if the stall isn't occupied, that is where he is headed! If there's someone in the stall, he will exit, and go out behind the building if necessary. You men are all nodding while the ladies think I'm crazy.

My husband tells me that proper etiquette is to leave one stall between you and someone else when taking a dump as well.

[kilted exile]

My husband tells me that proper etiquette is to leave one stall between you and someone else when taking a dump as well.

Proper yes, but completely unworkable: I am unaware of any public washroom that has more than 2 stalls.

This discussion reminds me of when I used to work as the "maintenance man" at MacDonald's. The urinals had an auto-rinse part, so every 1/2 hour water would rinse them clean. Some bright spark decided to block the drain holes with straws, as a result the urinal would overflow. Apparently this came under my job description, so I spent the day removing straws and other "junk" from the U-bend. The funny thing is that was not the worst thing I had to do during my time working there

[OZEED]

OK. I officially love this Forum now. Anyway. To answer your question. You are right. I lived with my mother since the age of eleven and from before that I can tell you what I learned from my dad.

(True Story)
Picture an eleven year old walking down the beach with his father. The father clears his throat and the son looks up at his father. Without looking at this son the father proceeds into a one way conversation with his son. "Son you are old enough now to hear this". The son now is intrigued and continues to look at his father with interest who keeps avoiding his gaze. "You are old enough to get girls pregnant now, or soon. Aheem. So, don't." The son is now perplexed as to the meaning of the conversation? Unable to even formulate a word the son continues to stare at his father in confusion. The father now stops and turns to his son and continues "But if you do! Make sure they don't know where you live".
"What?" is all the son can manage to respond. So the father continues walking down the beach and the son rushes to catch up. His father a few more steps and then adds "That's all you need to know about sex". It then dawn on the son that this was suppose to be the talk on the Bird and the Bees. The facts of life were summarized into one sentence and a fragment.

So everything I learned about sex, girls, and everything else came from all my older friends. Male friends of course, but that is not to say that I was not influenced by being raised by a single mother. I see the world differently than most American males and yet still love women. Do I sometimes display my machismo in ways that women do not understand? Sure, I do. However, that didn't stop me from feeling I had missed out on something in my life.

Because of that when I was 18 I decided that I needed a right of passage because I lacked a father. My choice of right of passage was to carve a cross on my left arm with a razor blade. The Girls in the group would probably find that silly and attrocious at the same time.

So where's the Guiness? I want a pint and a Medium Rare Stake with fries please.

I'm sure we can all relate to your story Mr Dagon, I can remember when my mother first spoke to me about sex, she was red in the face, shame she really tried to be a mom and a dad to me.
I am really looking forward to be a dad myself one day, I can wait to do the stuff with my son(or daughter) that I missed out on.It blows my mind!

[higley]

OZEED, I shall be merciless when I eventually have kids. I will do the same to them as my parents did (and still do) to me, and embarrass them because it's fun to see 'em squirm.

[OZEED]

Sorry Ozeed, I'm a sistah, not a brother, the avi's a pic of my boyfriend Prometheus sunbathing under a tree full of buzzards. I just dressed up as a waiter at the last meeting and stole the minutes.[/QUOTE]

In that case, I beg a thousand pardons dear lady.
I did think that it was a bit brave that a guys has a picture of a naked guy as his avy.

[Arethusa]

In that case, I beg a thousand pardons dear lady.
I did think that it was a bit brave that a guys has a picture of a naked guy as his avy.

No problem, happens all the time. I was lying on my back once and my husband mistook me for my brother.

[Nightshade]

... and don't get me started on the public humiliation that I suppose few women will ever face: the trough.

a what???

[Arethusa]

a what???

I wondered about that too, Nightshade. Maybe he means the salad bar

[shinigami]

Still don't get it...

[Virgil]

A trough is a big communal toilet that men urinate into at the same time. It seems to be common in English men's rooms. We can do that standing up.

Quick story. When I was in London a few years ago, and I was at a pub, I had to go to the bathroom. I walked in and didn't see a urinal. But there was this wall that ran water down slowly and emptied into a gutter-like trough. It looked sort of strange to me so I decided I would just use a stall toilet. As I started walking towards it, another fellow walked in, a Londoner. I asked him why that wall was dripping water. I guess he heard my American accent, and said, "You must be a bloody Yank. This is how we pee over here. Come up against the wall and i'll show you." So we both peed up against the water dripping wall. Nice fellow, but I kind of like a little privacy when I pass bodily functions.

[shinigami]

Okay.... that is disgusting.. I mean, urinals are bad enough guys... In our school, you can SMELL the difference between the bathrooms.. Even if you're 5 meters away from the closed bathroom... I wonder why men have a bad habit of bot flushing... Anyone care to enlighten me?

[mir]

'cause they're guys . . . ?

[Virgil]

Okay.... that is disgusting.. I mean, urinals are bad enough guys... In our school, you can SMELL the difference between the bathrooms.. Even if you're 5 meters away from the closed bathroom... I wonder why men have a bad habit of bot flushing... Anyone care to enlighten me?

Well, I know we're not as fastidious, but that smell at your school is not typical. We're not that bad. It must be the particular guys at your school.

[Arethusa]

Ever been in a women's public "toilet" in China? You have to hover, squat, balance and let go all at the same time. Gives a whole new meaning to multi-tasking.

[Bluebiird]

A truely charming topic guys
Yes, another girl has invaded your thread though some people seem to assume I'm male even though I've stated that I'm female in my profile. It must be the dragon. Anyway.
All of you girls here that long to urinate like a man, listen up.
Via a television program on the BBC, by the name of Dragon's Den (series 1) has seen the revolutionary new urinating gadget for women. At theh end of Dragon's Den series 2, inventions of te previous year were reviewed, to see how far they'd got.
This little item, konwn as the She wee I believe, or something similar to that, allows women to urinate standing up, and is sold on the net.
So ladies, now you know. Another thing that men take pride in can be achieved by us too. Hooray!

Hey, double posting. That's rare for me
Hey, guys, would you ever consider changing your name to
The Powerful Men Society?
I'd have suggested it for you sooner, but I was busy with other things.