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Gracious, what is happening to my blokes, is Mark turning you into dapper gentlemen who discuss cheese, art, music and what is it now...silk:svengo:
Okay, Gails viewpoint of silk: Silk makes wonderful bedsheets, only if you don't plan any recreational activity, otherwise, you slip off...
I like men in silk boxers, buy them a size larger because they don't give when you do... Silk looks lovely on geishas and very skinny women, for a meaty woman like myself, we look like a flesh clothesrack...
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
No Soundo I was referring to the terrible riots which took place in London and other areas of England last night.
Yeah, that's not a good thing, and I doubt they can blame all of it of drunken Irishmen.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
From afar, it looks like too many feckless teenagers who communicated the bright idea that is they all do breaking and entering at the same time, the cops will only catch some of them.
Nah, the more fulsome woman is what gossamer layers were made for.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
I take it you're going for usage 5, rather than, say, 2.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Me, I've never seen the erotic appeal of silk. Or indeed any fabric, specifically. For me, clothes are all about content rather than style.
All five really!
I do like the half revealed, half hidden look - with promises beneath and all that, intrinsic in a bit of satin.
However this is a bloke's thread, we should be singing about Four and Twenty Scottish Virgins and supping few Newkie Browns instead of all this intimate revelation.
That was a work of pure fiction, at no point in history were there ever Twenty Four Virgins in Inverness. We need cheering up and here is just the thing to help the Newkie Broons be a bit more more palatable:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ2SEdnn_II&NR=1
Pass me the screwdriver.
Yes - I had a light fitting taped up for 2 years because I'd blown it. I just never got round to it.
What most irks me about that song is the erroneous use of 'less' at the end of the second line. In a grammatically-correct universe, they would come from Stenhousemuir.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
:D
It aint not right isnt it.
We've even had riots in Coventry!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0x9WM_Xu9Y
:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Disgraceful behaviour, he should have been kettled, soaked through with the water cannon, hit in the private parts with a baton round and set upon by the dogs.
.
Have we moved past "fulsome"?
http://genuinearticle.ca/wp-content/...ansfield21.jpg
Conventry is the training ground. They start with baby steps.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
.
What the hell is that waiter doing?Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Here is her greatest performance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL9xnAsR9YU
A very clever lady I reckon.
Feeling a bit bolshy this morning, so would like to point out that the most sucessful looters use fountain pens and lawyers, rather than bricks and sledge hammers.
.
Oh boy; it's a while since I've sung that one!Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Only when the human race is extinct.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Everything quiet in the streets now? Poor old Parker's been waiting to go out for his annual day off.
One very good reason why cricket has never caught on in Scotland :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jdJG9I1HWw
Now I don't begrudge Parker his annual day trip to Eastbourne, especially after the way he faced down that 11 year old looter (she was big for her age,) but I hope he is not on full pay.
Meanwhile, what has happened to the Indian cricket team? I don't think England are THAT good. The Boy reckons there has been some dodgy spread betting going on in the Sub-Continent.
Pay for a day off? What century are you living in?Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
We let him have an hour's paid leave for his mother's funeral in 1978, that is quite enough.
That's a possibility - it isn't as though cheating for betting purposes is unknown on the sub-continent - but I suspect it's more that they are worn out and at the end of the era that made them #1 for so long.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
You mean he's not here? Craperoonie. Who am I gonna leave my car keys with now?
Incidentally, I've just decided that women are lovely but unbearable and I'm NEVER going to bother with another one EVER. Suggestions on what to do with my penis until I die are most welcome.
EDIT: And if anyone says "masturbation", thank you -- I've already thought of that. Be creative. I'm looking for some "out-of-the-box" kind of thinking here.
That's no problem; Parker's nephew is covering his duties for the day.Quote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
I imagine it was simple coincidence that 38 cars wer stolen last time he worked here when Parker had a day off for his quadruple heart by-pass.
Have you tried swinging the other way?Quote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
Gay is Ok, so they say.
I have to agree it has some attractions. No arguments over whether to watch sport or Desperate Housewives; no arguments over toilet seats; both are capable of starting a lawnmower, NO KIDS!
Christ, why did nobody ever tell me this when I was a teenager?
Sod it, it'll be cheaper to crash it and get it repaired than have it sold for parts by that good-for-nothing cheap Parker substitute. It's a company car.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Now, that doesn't help me. I'm nearly 40. You're 25 years late. You know what, maybe I'll just leave it with Parker's nephew instead of the car keys. He could embalm it and hang it on the wall next to Art Pepper.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Doc you are in need of a lift and I have just the thing, if you don't mind the swing:Quote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UokNG1hBvzY&feature=fvsr
:cheers2:
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Do what to a what?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
You could take Holy Orders. That way you ignore your penis and think only of higher things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
That's brilliant!!
:cheers2:
Nah, that wouldn't work either. I got this fetish for nuns.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
What about meditation? You could contemplate your navel ...or whatever comes up...Quote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
Guys and gals I have booked your flights to Scotland for my upcoming birthday bash. Pay no heed to the ugly rumours circulating about the parlous state of our air traffic control:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeI154gaWL4
Meditation, eh? I'll think about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
(boom-boom!)
:cheers2:
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Watching that link I found this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY8YeLErbEg&NR=1
I'm sure I've seen her before - with Parker...
I heard some real wisdom today, and i thought i'd share it with you guys.
If you let your heart walk away, you might find that your head grows legs and follows it.
Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants
I'm beginning to worry about you.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
Parker tells me someone ordered a shandy last week....
Hard habit to break.Quote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
:party:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Alright then!
SBSP is one of the better kids' programs, but that's priceless!Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Woooo...Party at Jockys...or maybe in Pauls shed...Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
That's a great idea - party in Paul's sheds for jocky's birthday!Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Once the first one's destroyed, we can move onto #2.
:D
By the way Atheist, that white stuff that has been falling on Wellington is called SNOW, its what we get in Britain anytime between September and June.
Quite amazing - there's been snow in all sorts of places that never usually get it. Wellington's had its biggest snowfall in half a century and there has been snow right up to the winterless north.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Particularly bloody cold; it only got to 9C in Auckland yesterday.
Spring storms always seem to be the coldest.
Back to normal today, although the cold snap has blown all the warm air away, so probably another week before we get those 20-degree days back.
BRRRR! Makes me appreciate the weather we [usually] don't get.
It is with great regret that I have to inform you all that my birthday bash has been cancelled and you all know who is to blame. Mrs Jocky began by announcing that the shed would need to be cleaned, don't laugh Paul she meant yours as well, and that lace screens would be the order of the day. She went on to discuss pots of tea and barn cakes for Mick and Paul. Then she went on about a sherry for the nice doctor and a warm blanket for Atheist. It got worse :
" Should I hang the Kandinski on the sheddy wall for Mark, and do you think Soundo and Sugar would appreciate my home made non alcaholic soup? As for that Gilliat should I shoot and pluck Bartock as I know them Texans appreciate big birds."
See you in the morning guys. :(
Looks like commiserations are due instead of congratulations.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Jocky, a little music for your party:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l31MS...eature=related
I hate the thought of putting ole Bartok down but if you feel you must, I have a 1943 Springfield that'l do the job.
There will be anough squab to feed the tennants at Paul's Ivy League Estates.
Tell Mrs J that Paul's neighbor Fred is happy to do the shed cleanin so you can enjoy the party.
.
One of these days Mrs Jocky you will push me to far :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0fT9BHpImI