I think there should be some punctuation at the end there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Abookinthebath
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I think there should be some punctuation at the end there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Abookinthebath
Oh but they do my dear. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf
[QUOTE=Silas Thorne;1079260]I think there's a bit of overgeneralization going on here...QUOTE]
Possibly, but not much of one according to a report on the Chinese military I was reading a few days ago.
Maybe she was demonstrating how dangerous it was to leave things unfinished!Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
:D
...sometimes I think that there's no point making little jokes on forums unless you're prepared to flag them with bloody smileys.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
I know, right?Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
I had to explain that I was joking twice in the last 24 hours so I am playing it safe for a while.
:smilewinkgrin:
Tip 242 - Don't spend your days searching for a better way because there isn't one.
(If you find that I am wrong them please PM me with "the answer" thanks.)
Tip 243: If you are moving house and you have a cat, keep it indoors for two weeks after relocating. They have a strong homing instinct and will almost certainly try to find their way back to where they came from unless they have been given a chance to get used to their new surroundings. Every time I walk through a nearby area that has as transient population, I am constantly noticing messages attached to trees, lampposts etc etc., asking for people to look out for missing cats.
Which way are you using at the moment?Quote:
Originally Posted by Neely
Would it be one of the many ways to disgruntlement? ... he comes down the club sometimes.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
Spending hours a day with grumpy, lazy teenagers sort of way when I would rather be of the leisured class.:nod:Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
Tip 244: Develop a network of escape routes and bolt holes when at work. Time is an amazing healer, and things often develop, storm and blow over if you can absent yourself from potential problems.
Being psychic helps ... unfortunately I'm not...
Tip 245 - Choose your partner wisely.
(The link below will help women do that...Why do I think of Scher at 0.43?:biggrin5: I'm sure she'd approve...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ0jR...eature=related
:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Tip #246: If you've been running all of your life, simply stop and listen to the music.
Hey, that is me all right... Every evening.Quote:
Originally Posted by Neely
I kid you not.
Tip 247 ~ Don't be a book discriminator. There is a time and place for almost everything.
Tip 248: When leaving home to take some photos in the country, make sure your rucksack is closed before swinging it onto your shoulder. Otherwise your camera will fly out and crash onto the floor, jamming the lens cap into the lens filter and smashing it.
What if you stop running in order to listen to the music, and it turns out to be that dee-dah-dee-dah-dee-dah horror-movie music that means "Run! Run!"?Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
I'll still be in the bolt hole.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
It's ok, I'm psychic. So you can ask me next time :biggrin5:Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I will. What's the charge these days?Quote:
Originally Posted by PoeticPassions
Tip 249: When you find yourself in any situation repeating the same story to the same people, don't give that tired afterthought response of "Have I told you this before?" and continue regardless. Just stop straight away. Take yourself off to a quiet corner and have a jolly good word with yourself. You say very firmly, " I will not become one of those bores that tells, without any apparent self consciousness, the same old stories again and again. Reinforce it if you will, with good hard slaps to the face - if you are practiced in giving them to yourself. (They can go wrong if you are a novice - a bit lke those people who horribly maim themselves when trying to commit suicide shooting themselves in the head). Thus chastened, you can then return to normal society, sure in the knowledge that your boringness has not grown today, but, if anyone caught you slapping yourself, your interestingness has.
I haven't put this already have I?....slap slap...
Tip # 250- If you think you are great, it might be so if you think a lot about it.
Tip #738: Don't skip ahead to the parts that you think are more important. There might be a lot of worthwhile stuff you miss inbetween :party:
The charge? Well, depends. I'm all about fairness, so the charge is anything you can give at a given moment. Could be nothing :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
and good tip... being boring is the worst. More so than being bored. I think I repeat myself quite often, but I also try to act erratically to keep people on their toes.
Super. I'll send you a list of divinations. :biggrin5:Quote:
Originally Posted by PoeticPassions
You should put your erratic point as the next tip. Keeping people on their toes is good.
Tip #252: (as per Paulclem's suggestion) Keep people on their toes by acting erratically. Mix things up. And stay interesting, and thus interested.
Tip 253 - Don't eat too much in one go.
It can make you feel sick.
Yours made me think of this important one:Quote:
Originally Posted by Neely
Tip 254: Be a good vomiter. Bad vomiters allow the convulsion of the stomach to get the better of them with a chaotic spray effect. Good vomiters are accurate and calm. Be a good vomiter. It's much less cleaning after.
Nah - just don't vomit. Don't do things that might lead to vomiting. Certainly don't learn to do it well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I drink quite a bit - I can easily put away three bottles of wine in an evening. But I have never in my life thrown up because of drinking. Or eating. Or for any reason but illness. I hate it. Actually, I have a bit of a phobia about it. So - after years of experience - I can tell you that it is possible to lead a full, active, gluttonous life without vomiting at all. So why would you accept that you must?
There have been times when I have had to. Also, my brothers and I are able to make ourselves vomit fairly easily. This is useful if you realise that you really shouldn't have eaten that. Practice makes for a good vomiter.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
Dude, none of that is anything to be proud of. It would be much better for all involved to practice not eating stuff you shouldn't.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Lol, not to be insulting, Paul, but isn't that what dogs do? Eat whatever they encounter, then throw it up?
Hope this is not something like bulimia...Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
:lol:
Vomiting is rare for me. I just like to be prepared.
A little over-prepared, more like. :D
Plunging the depths still further:-
Tip 255. When approaching the toilet suffering from sickness and diarrhoea, get your priorities right.
Oh, oh dear lord!!
Tip 256 - Gentlemen in polite society should never descend to converse on the vulgar.
There may be ladies present.:eek2:
Tip 257-Always have a trashcan handy for emergencies.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Lol, Neely, your response is utterly priceless.
Neely Old Chap. I had no idea you had such delicate sensitivity. I shall thus refrain from making the post of my advice on using cling film and baby oil.Quote:
Originally Posted by Neely
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Just as well - we were only about five posts away from a Top Tip about how to handle prolapsed farmers.
tip 258 - Be prepared.
Tip #259 - Always buy little gifts for that someone special, so that if you miss their birthday you'll get less of a bollocking
(Retweeted, plagiarised and paraphrased from Ozzy Osbourne)