"You're _so_ artistic," my cousin Eleanor Copt began.
Of all Eleanor's exordiums it is the one I most dread. When she tells me
I'm so clever I know this is merely the preamble to inviting me to meet the
last literary obscurity of the moment: a trial to be evaded or endured, as
circumstances dictate; whereas her calling me artistic fatally connotes
the request to visit, in her company, some distressed gentlewoman whose
future hangs on my valuation of her old Saxe or of her grandfather's
Marc Antonios. Time was when I attempted to resist these compulsions of
Eleanor's; but I soon learned that, short of actual flight, there was
no refuge from her beneficent despotism. It is not always easy for the
curator of a museum to abandon his post on the plea of escaping a pretty
cousin's importunities; and Eleanor, aware of my predicament, is none
too magnanimous to take advantage of it. Magnanimity is, in fact, not in
Eleanor's line. The virtues, she once explained to me, are like bonnets:
the very ones that look best on other people may not happen to suit one's
own particular style; and she added, with a slight deflection of metaphor,
that none of the ready-made virtues ever _had_ fitted her: they all
pinched somewhere, and she'd given up trying to wear them.
Therefore when she said to me, "You're _so_ artistic." emphasizing the
conjunction with a tap of her dripping umbrella (Eleanor is out in all
weathers: the elements are as powerless against her as man), I merely
stipulated, "It's not old Saxe again?"
She shook her head reassuringly. "A picture--a Rembrandt!"
"Good Lord! Why not a Leonardo?"
"Well"--she smiled--"that, of course, depends on _you_."
"On your attribution. I dare say Mrs. Fontage would consent to the
change--though she's very conservative."
A gleam of hope came to me and I pronounced: "One can't judge of a picture
in this weather."
"Of course not. I'm coming for you to-morrow."
"I've an engagement to-morrow."
"I'll come before or after your engagement."
The afternoon paper lay at my elbow and I contrived a furtive consultation
of the weather-report. It said "Rain to-morrow," and I answered briskly:
"All right, then; come at ten"--rapidly calculating that the clouds on
which I counted might lift by noon.
My ingenuity failed of its due reward; for the heavens, as if in league
with my cousin, emptied themselves before morning, and punctually at ten
Eleanor and the sun appeared together in my office.
I hardly listened, as we descended the Museum steps and got into Eleanor's
hansom, to her vivid summing-up of the case. I guessed beforehand that the
lady we were about to visit had lapsed by the most distressful degrees from
opulence to a "hall-bedroom"; that her grandfather, if he had not been
Minister to France, had signed the Declaration of Independence; that the
Rembrandt was an heirloom, sole remnant of disbanded treasures; that for
years its possessor had been unwilling to part with it, and that even now
the question of its disposal must be approached with the most diplomatic
Previous experience had taught me that all Eleanor's "cases" presented a
harrowing similarity of detail. No circumstance tending to excite the
spectator's sympathy and involve his action was omitted from the history of
her beneficiaries; the lights and shades were indeed so skilfully adjusted
that any impartial expression of opinion took on the hue of cruelty. I
could have produced closetfuls of "heirlooms" in attestation of this fact;
for it is one more mark of Eleanor's competence that her friends usually
pay the interest on her philanthropy. My one hope was that in this case the
object, being a picture, might reasonably be rated beyond my means; and
as our cab drew up before a blistered brown-stone door-step I formed the
self-defensive resolve to place an extreme valuation on Mrs. Fontage's
Rembrandt. It is Eleanor's fault if she is sometimes fought with her own
The house stood in one of those shabby provisional-looking New York streets
that seem resignedly awaiting demolition. It was the kind of house that,
in its high days, must have had a bow-window with a bronze in it. The
bow-window had been replaced by a plumber's _devanture_, and one might
conceive the bronze to have gravitated to the limbo where Mexican onyx
tables and bric-a-brac in buffalo-horn await the first signs of our next
Eleanor swept me through a hall that smelled of poverty, up unlit stairs to
a bare slit of a room. "And she must leave this in a month!" she whispered
across her knock.
I had prepared myself for the limp widow's weed of a woman that one figures
in such a setting; and confronted abruptly with Mrs. Fontage's white-haired
erectness I had the disconcerting sense that I was somehow in her presence
at my own solicitation. I instinctively charged Eleanor with this reversal
of the situation; but a moment later I saw it must be ascribed to a
something about Mrs. Fontage that precluded the possibility of her asking
any one a favor. It was not that she was of forbidding, or even majestic,
demeanor; but that one guessed, under her aquiline prettiness, a dignity
nervously on guard against the petty betrayal of her surroundings. The
room was unconcealably poor: the little faded "relics," the high-stocked
ancestral silhouettes, the steel-engravings after Raphael and Correggio,
grouped in a vain attempt to hide the most obvious stains on the
wall-paper, served only to accentuate the contrast of a past evidently
diversified by foreign travel and the enjoyment of the arts. Even Mrs.
Fontage's dress had the air of being a last expedient, the ultimate outcome
of a much-taxed ingenuity in darning and turning. One felt that all the
poor lady's barriers were falling save that of her impregnable manner.
To this manner I found myself conveying my appreciation of being admitted
to a view of the Rembrandt.
Mrs. Fontage's smile took my homage for granted. "It is always," she
conceded, "a privilege to be in the presence of the great masters." Her
slim wrinkled hand waved me to a dusky canvas near the window.
"It's _so_ interesting, dear Mrs. Fontage," I heard Eleanor
exclaiming, "and my cousin will be able to tell you exactly--" Eleanor, in
my presence, always admits that she knows nothing about art; but she gives
the impression that this is merely because she hasn't had time to look into
the matter--and has had me to do it for her.
Mrs. Fontage seated herself without speaking, as though fearful that a
breath might disturb my communion with the masterpiece. I felt that she
thought Eleanor's reassuring ejaculations ill-timed; and in this I was of
one mind with her; for the impossibility of telling her exactly what I
thought of her Rembrandt had become clear to me at a glance.
My cousin's vivacities began to languish and the silence seemed to shape
itself into a receptacle for my verdict. I stepped back, affecting a more
distant scrutiny; and as I did so my eye caught Mrs. Fontage's profile. Her
lids trembled slightly. I took refuge in the familiar expedient of asking
the history of the picture, and she waved me brightly to a seat.
This was indeed a topic on which she could dilate. The Rembrandt, it
appeared, had come into Mr. Fontage's possession many years ago, while
the young couple were on their wedding-tour, and under circumstances so
romantic that she made no excuse for relating them in all their parenthetic
fulness. The picture belonged to an old Belgian Countess of redundant
quarterings, whom the extravagances of an ungovernable nephew had compelled
to part with her possessions (in the most private manner) about the time of
the Fontages' arrival. By a really remarkable coincidence, it happened that
their courier (an exceptionally intelligent and superior man) was an old
servant of the Countess's, and had thus been able to put them in the way of
securing the Rembrandt under the very nose of an English Duke, whose agent
had been sent to Brussels to negotiate for its purchase. Mrs. Fontage could
not recall the Duke's name, but he was a great collector and had a famous
Highland castle, where somebody had been murdered, and which she herself
had visited (by moonlight) when she had travelled in Scotland as a girl.
The episode had in short been one of the most interesting "experiences" of
a tour almost chromo-lithographic in vivacity of impression; and they had
always meant to go back to Brussels for the sake of reliving so picturesque
a moment. Circumstances (of which the narrator's surroundings declared the
nature) had persistently interfered with the projected return to Europe,
and the picture had grown doubly valuable as representing the high-water
mark of their artistic emotions. Mrs. Fontage's moist eye caressed the
canvas. "There is only," she added with a perceptible effort, "one slight
drawback: the picture is not signed. But for that the Countess, of course,
would have sold it to a museum. All the connoisseurs who have seen it
pronounce it an undoubted Rembrandt, in the artist's best manner; but the
museums"--she arched her brows in smiling recognition of a well-known
weakness--"give the preference to signed examples--"
Mrs. Fontage's words evoked so touching a vision of the young tourists of
fifty years ago, entrusting to an accomplished and versatile courier the
direction of their helpless zeal for art, that I lost sight for a moment
of the point at issue. The old Belgian Countess, the wealthy Duke with a
feudal castle in Scotland, Mrs. Fontage's own maiden pilgrimage to Arthur's
Seat and Holyrood, all the accessories of the naïf transaction, seemed
a part of that vanished Europe to which our young race carried its
indiscriminate ardors, its tender romantic credulity: the legendary
castellated Europe of keepsakes, brigands and old masters, that
compensated, by one such "experience" as Mrs. Fontage's, for an after-life
of aesthetic privation.
I was restored to the present by Eleanor's looking at her watch. The action
mutely conveyed that something was expected of me. I risked the temporizing
statement that the picture was very interesting; but Mrs. Fontage's polite
assent revealed the poverty of the expedient. Eleanor's impatience
"You would like my cousin to give you an idea of its value?" she suggested.
Mrs. Fontage grew more erect. "No one," she corrected with great
gentleness, "can know its value quite as well as I, who live with it--"
We murmured our hasty concurrence.
"But it might be interesting to hear"--she addressed herself to me--"as a
mere matter of curiosity--what estimate would be put on it from the purely
commercial point of view--if such a term may be used in speaking of a work
I sounded a note of deprecation.
"Oh, I understand, of course," she delicately anticipated me, "that that
could never be _your_ view, your personal view; but since occasions
_may_ arise--do arise--when it becomes necessary to--to put a price on
the priceless, as it were--I have thought--Miss Copt has suggested--"
"Some day," Eleanor encouraged her, "you might feel that the picture ought
to belong to some one who has more--more opportunity of showing it--letting
it be seen by the public--for educational reasons--"
"I have tried," Mrs. Fontage admitted, "to see it in that light."
The crucial moment was upon me. To escape the challenge of Mrs. Fontage's
brilliant composure I turned once more to the picture. If my courage needed
reinforcement, the picture amply furnished it. Looking at that lamentable
canvas seemed the surest way of gathering strength to denounce it; but
behind me, all the while, I felt Mrs. Fontage's shuddering pride drawn
up in a final effort of self-defense. I hated myself for my sentimental
perversion of the situation. Reason argued that it was more cruel to
deceive Mrs. Fontage than to tell her the truth; but that merely proved the
inferiority of reason to instinct in situations involving any concession to
the emotions. Along with her faith in the Rembrandt I must destroy not only
the whole fabric of Mrs. Fontage's past, but even that lifelong habit of
acquiescence in untested formulas that makes the best part of the average
feminine strength. I guessed the episode of the picture to be inextricably
interwoven with the traditions and convictions which served to veil Mrs.
Fontage's destitution not only from others but from herself. Viewed in
that light the Rembrandt had perhaps been worth its purchase-money; and I
regretted that works of art do not commonly sell on the merit of the moral
support they may have rendered.
From this unavailing flight I was recalled by the sense that something
must be done. To place a fictitious value on the picture was at best a
provisional measure; while the brutal alternative of advising Mrs. Fontage
to sell it for a hundred dollars at least afforded an opening to the
charitably disposed purchaser. I intended, if other resources failed,
to put myself forward in that light; but delicacy of course forbade my
coupling my unflattering estimate of the Rembrandt with an immediate offer
to buy it. All I could do was to inflict the wound: the healing unguent
must be withheld for later application.
I turned to Mrs. Fontage, who sat motionless, her finely-lined cheeks
touched with an expectant color, her eyes averted from the picture which
was so evidently the one object they beheld.
"My dear madam--" I began. Her vivid smile was like a light held up to
dazzle me. It shrouded every alternative in darkness and I had the flurried
sense of having lost my way among the intricacies of my contention. Of
a sudden I felt the hopelessness of finding a crack in her impenetrable
conviction. My words slipped from me like broken weapons. "The picture,"
I faltered, "would of course be worth more if it were signed. As it is,
I--I hardly think--on a conservative estimate--it can be valued at--at
more--than--a thousand dollars, say--"
My deflected argument ran on somewhat aimlessly till it found itself
plunging full tilt against the barrier of Mrs. Fontage's silence. She sat
as impassive as though I had not spoken. Eleanor loosed a few fluttering
words of congratulation and encouragement, but their flight was suddenly
cut short. Mrs. Fontage had risen with a certain solemnity.
"I could never," she said gently--her gentleness was adamantine--"under any
circumstances whatever, consider, for a moment even, the possibility of
parting with the picture at such a price."
Within three weeks a tremulous note from Mrs. Fontage requested the favor
of another visit. If the writing was tremulous, however, the writer's tone
was firm. She named her own day and hour, without the conventional
reference to her visitor's convenience.
My first impulse was to turn the note over to Eleanor. I had acquitted
myself of my share in the ungrateful business of coming to Mrs. Fontage's
aid, and if, as her letter denoted, she had now yielded to the closer
pressure of need, the business of finding a purchaser for the Rembrandt
might well be left to my cousin's ingenuity. But here conscience put in
the uncomfortable reminder that it was I who, in putting a price on the
picture, had raised the real obstacle in the way of Mrs. Fontage's rescue.
No one would give a thousand dollars for the Rembrandt; but to tell
Mrs. Fontage so had become as unthinkable as murder. I had, in fact, on
returning from my first inspection of the picture, refrained from imparting
to Eleanor my opinion of its value. Eleanor is porous, and I knew that
sooner or later the unnecessary truth would exude through the loose texture
of her dissimulation. Not infrequently she thus creates the misery she
alleviates; and I have sometimes suspected her of paining people in order
that she might be sorry for them. I had, at all events, cut off retreat in
Eleanor's direction; and the remaining alternative carried me straight to
She received me with the same commanding sweetness. The room was even barer
than before--I believe the carpet was gone--but her manner built up about
her a palace to which I was welcomed with high state; and it was as a mere
incident of the ceremony that I was presently made aware of her decision to
sell the Rembrandt. My previous unsuccess in planning how to deal with Mrs.
Fontage had warned me to leave my farther course to chance; and I listened
to her explanation with complete detachment. She had resolved to travel for
her health; her doctor advised it, and as her absence might be indefinitely
prolonged she had reluctantly decided to part with the picture in order
to avoid the expense of storage and insurance. Her voice drooped at the
admission, and she hurried on, detailing the vague itinerary of a journey
that was to combine long-promised visits to impatient friends with various
"interesting opportunities" less definitely specified. The poor lady's
skill in rearing a screen of verbiage about her enforced avowal had
distracted me from my own share in the situation, and it was with dismay
that I suddenly caught the drift of her assumptions. She expected me to
buy the Rembrandt for the Museum; she had taken my previous valuation as a
tentative bid, and when I came to my senses she was in the act of accepting
Had I had a thousand dollars of my own to dispose of, the bargain would
have been concluded on the spot; but I was in the impossible position of
being materially unable to buy the picture and morally unable to tell her
that it was not worth acquiring for the Museum.
I dashed into the first evasion in sight. I had no authority, I explained,
to purchase pictures for the Museum without the consent of the committee.
Mrs. Fontage coped for a moment in silence with the incredible fact
that I had rejected her offer; then she ventured, with a kind of pale
precipitation: "But I understood--Miss Copt tells me that you practically
decide such matters for the committee." I could guess what the effort had
"My cousin is given to generalizations. My opinion may have some weight
with the committee--"
"Well, then--" she timidly prompted.
"For that very reason I can't buy the picture."
She said, with a drooping note, "I don't understand."
"Yet you told me," I reminded her, "that you knew museums didn't buy
"Not for what they are worth! Every one knows that. But I--I
understood--the price you named--" Her pride shuddered back from the
abasement. "It's a misunderstanding then," she faltered.
To avoid looking at her, I glanced desperately at the Rembrandt. Could
I--? But reason rejected the possibility. Even if the committee had been
blind--and they all _were_ but Crozier--I simply shouldn't have dared
to do it. I stood up, feeling that to cut the matter short was the only
alleviation within reach.
Mrs. Fontage had summoned her indomitable smile; but its brilliancy
dropped, as I opened the door, like a candle blown out by a draught.
"If there's any one else--if you knew any one who would care to see the
picture, I should be most happy--" She kept her eyes on me, and I saw that,
in her case, it hurt less than to look at the Rembrandt. "I shall have to
leave here, you know," she panted, "if nobody cares to have it--"
That evening at my club I had just succeeded in losing sight of Mrs.
Fontage in the fumes of an excellent cigar, when a voice at my elbow evoked
her harassing image.
"I want to talk to you," the speaker said, "about Mrs. Fontage's
"There isn't any," I was about to growl; but looking up I recognized the
confiding countenance of Mr. Jefferson Rose.
Mr. Rose was known to me chiefly as a young man suffused with a vague
enthusiasm for Virtue and my cousin Eleanor.
One glance at his glossy exterior conveyed the assurance that his morals
were as immaculate as his complexion and his linen. Goodness exuded from
his moist eye, his liquid voice, the warm damp pressure of his trustful
hand. He had always struck me as one of the most uncomplicated organisms
I had ever met. His ideas were as simple and inconsecutive as the
propositions in a primer, and he spoke slowly, with a kind of uniformity
of emphasis that made his words stand out like the raised type for the
blind. An obvious incapacity for abstract conceptions made him peculiarly
susceptible to the magic of generalization, and one felt he would have been
at the mercy of any Cause that spelled itself with a capital letter. It was
hard to explain how, with such a superabundance of merit, he managed to be
a good fellow: I can only say that he performed the astonishing feat as
naturally as he supported an invalid mother and two sisters on the slender
salary of a banker's clerk. He sat down beside me with an air of bright
"It's a remarkable picture, isn't it?" he said.
"You've seen it?"
"I've been so fortunate. Miss Copt was kind enough to get Mrs. Fontage's
permission; we went this afternoon." I inwardly wished that Eleanor
had selected another victim; unless indeed the visit were part of a
plan whereby some third person, better equipped for the cultivation of
delusions, was to be made to think the Rembrandt remarkable. Knowing the
limitations of Mr. Rose's resources I began to wonder if he had any rich
"And her buying it in that way, too," he went on with his limpid smile,
"from that old Countess in Brussels, makes it all the more interesting,
doesn't it? Miss Copt tells me it's very seldom old pictures can be traced
back for more than a generation. I suppose the fact of Mrs. Fontage's
knowing its history must add a good deal to its value?"
Uncertain as to his drift, I said: "In her eyes it certainly appears to."
Implications are lost on Mr. Rose, who glowingly continued: "That's the
reason why I wanted to talk to you about it--to consult you. Miss Copt
tells me you value it at a thousand dollars."
There was no denying this, and I grunted a reluctant assent.
"Of course," he went on earnestly, "your valuation is based on the fact
that the picture isn't signed--Mrs. Fontage explained that; and it does
make a difference, certainly. But the thing is--if the picture's really
good--ought one to take advantage--? I mean--one can see that Mrs. Fontage
is in a tight place, and I wouldn't for the world--"
My astonished stare arrested him.
"I mean--you see, it's just this way"; he coughed and blushed: "I can't
give more than a thousand dollars myself--it's as big a sum as I can manage
to scrape together--but before I make the offer I want to be sure I'm not
standing in the way of her getting more money."
My astonishment lapsed to dismay. "You're going to buy the picture for a
His blush deepened. "Why, yes. It sounds rather absurd, I suppose. It isn't
much in my line, of course. I can see the picture's very beautiful, but I'm
no judge--it isn't the kind of thing, naturally, that I could afford to go
in for; but in this case I'm very glad to do what I can; the circumstances
are so distressing; and knowing what you think of the picture I feel it's a
pretty safe investment--"
"I don't think!" I blurted out.
"I don't think the picture's worth a thousand dollars; I don't think it's
worth ten cents; I simply lied about it, that's all."
Mr. Rose looked as frightened as though I had charged him with the offense.
"Hang it, man, can't you see how it happened? I saw the poor woman's pride
and happiness hung on her faith in that picture. I tried to make her
understand that it was worthless--but she wouldn't; I tried to tell her
so--but I couldn't. I behaved like a maudlin ass, but you shan't pay for my
infernal bungling--you mustn't buy the picture!"
Mr. Rose sat silent, tapping one glossy boot-tip with another. Suddenly he
turned on me a glance of stored intelligence. "But you know," he said
good-humoredly, "I rather think I must."
"Oh, no; the offer's not made."
His look gathered a brighter significance.
"But if the picture's worth nothing, nobody will buy it--"
"Except," he continued, "some fellow like me, who doesn't know anything.
_I_ think it's lovely, you know; I mean to hang it in my mother's
sitting-room." He rose and clasped my hand in his adhesive pressure. "I'm
awfully obliged to you for telling me this; but perhaps you won't mind my
asking you not to mention our talk to Miss Copt? It might bother her, you
know, to think the picture isn't exactly up to the mark; and it won't make
a rap of difference to me."
Mr. Rose left me to a sleepless night. The next morning my resolve was
formed, and it carried me straight to Mrs. Fontage's. She answered my knock
by stepping out on the landing, and as she shut the door behind her I
caught a glimpse of her devastated interior. She mentioned, with a careful
avoidance of the note of pathos on which our last conversation had closed,
that she was preparing to leave that afternoon; and the trunks obstructing
the threshold showed that her preparations were nearly complete. They were,
I felt certain, the same trunks that, strapped behind a rattling vettura,
had accompanied the bride and groom on that memorable voyage of discovery
of which the booty had till recently adorned her walls; and there was a
dim consolation in the thought that those early "finds" in coral and Swiss
wood-carving, in lava and alabaster, still lay behind the worn locks, in
the security of worthlessness.
Mrs. Fontage, on the landing, among her strapped and corded treasures,
maintained the same air of stability that made it impossible, even under
such conditions, to regard her flight as anything less dignified than
a departure. It was the moral support of what she tacitly assumed that
enabled me to set forth with proper deliberation the object of my visit;
and she received my announcement with an absence of surprise that struck
me as the very flower of tact. Under cover of these mutual assumptions the
transaction was rapidly concluded; and it was not till the canvas passed
into my hands that, as though the physical contact had unnerved her,
Mrs. Fontage suddenly faltered. "It's the giving it up--" she stammered,
disguising herself to the last; and I hastened away from the collapse of
her splendid effrontery.
I need hardly point out that I had acted impulsively, and that reaction
from the most honorable impulses is sometimes attended by moral
perturbation. My motives had indeed been mixed enough to justify some
uneasiness, but this was allayed by the instinctive feeling that it is more
venial to defraud an institution than a man. Since Mrs. Fontage had to be
kept from starving by means not wholly defensible, it was better that the
obligation should be borne by a rich institution than an impecunious youth.
I doubt, in fact, if my scruples would have survived a night's sleep, had
they not been complicated by some uncertainty as to my own future. It was
true that, subject to the purely formal assent of the committee, I had
full power to buy for the Museum, and that the one member of the committee
likely to dispute my decision was opportunely travelling in Europe; but the
picture once in place I must face the risk of any expert criticism to which
chance might expose it. I dismissed this contingency for future study,
stored the Rembrandt in the cellar of the Museum, and thanked heaven that
Crozier was abroad.
Six months later he strolled into my office. I had just concluded, under
conditions of exceptional difficulty, and on terms unexpectedly benign,
the purchase of the great Bartley Reynolds; and this circumstance, by
relegating the matter of the Rembrandt to a lower stratum of consciousness,
enabled me to welcome Crozier with unmixed pleasure. My security
was enhanced by his appearance. His smile was charged with amiable
reminiscences, and I inferred that his trip had put him in the humor
to approve of everything, or at least to ignore what fell short of his
approval. I had therefore no uneasiness in accepting his invitation to dine
that evening. It is always pleasant to dine with Crozier and never more so
than when he is just back from Europe. His conversation gives even the food
a flavor of the Café Anglais.
The repast was delightful, and it was not till we had finished a Camembert
which he must have brought over with him, that my host said, in a tone of
after-dinner perfunctoriness: "I see you've picked up a picture or two
since I left."
I assented. "The Bartley Reynolds seemed too good an opportunity to miss,
especially as the French government was after it. I think we got it
"_Connu, connu_" said Crozier pleasantly. "I know all about the
Reynolds. It was the biggest kind of a haul and I congratulate you. Best
stroke of business we've done yet. But tell me about the other picture--the
"I never said it was a Rembrandt." I could hardly have said why, but I felt
distinctly annoyed with Crozier.
"Of course not. There's 'Rembrandt' on the frame, but I saw you'd
modified it to 'Dutch School'; I apologize." He paused, but I offered no
explanation. "What about it?" he went on. "Where did you pick it up?" As
he leaned to the flame of the cigar-lighter his face seemed ruddy with
"I got it for a song," I said.
"A thousand, I think?"
"Have you seen it?" I asked abruptly.
"Went over the place this afternoon and found it in the cellar. Why hasn't
it been hung, by the way?"
I paused a moment. "I'm waiting--"
"To have it varnished."
"Ah!" He leaned back and poured himself a second glass of Chartreuse. The
smile he confided to its golden depths provoked me to challenge him with--
"What do you think of it?"
"The Rembrandt?" He lifted his eyes from the glass. "Just what you do."
"It isn't a Rembrandt."
"I apologize again. You call it, I believe, a picture of the same period?"
"I'm uncertain of the period."
"H'm." He glanced appreciatively along his cigar. "What are you certain
"That it's a damned bad picture," I said savagely.
He nodded. "Just so. That's all we wanted to know."
"We--I--the committee, in short. You see, my dear fellow, if you hadn't
been certain it was a damned bad picture our position would have been a
little awkward. As it is, my remaining duty--I ought to explain that in
this matter I'm acting for the committee--is as simple as it's agreeable."
"I'll be hanged," I burst out, "if I understand one word you're saying!"
He fixed me with a kind of cruel joyousness. "You will--you will," he
assured me; "at least you'll begin to, when you hear that I've seen Miss
"And that she has told me under what conditions the picture was bought."
"She doesn't know anything about the conditions! That is," I added,
hastening to restrict the assertion, "she doesn't know my opinion of the
picture." I thirsted for five minutes with Eleanor.
"Are you quite sure?" Crozier took me up. "Mr. Jefferson Rose does."
"I thought you would," he reminded me. "As soon as I'd laid eyes on
the Rembrandt--I beg your pardon!--I saw that it--well, required some
"You might have come to me."
"I meant to; but I happened to meet Miss Copt, whose encyclopædic
information has often before been of service to me. I always go to Miss
Copt when I want to look up anything; and I found she knew all about the
"Precisely. The knowledge was in fact causing her sleepless nights. Mr.
Rose, who was suffering from the same form of insomnia, had taken her into
his confidence, and she--ultimately--took me into hers."
"I must ask you to do your cousin justice. She didn't speak till it became
evident to her uncommonly quick perceptions that your buying the picture on
its merits would have been infinitely worse for--for everybody--than your
diverting a small portion of the Museum's funds to philanthropic uses. Then
she told me the moving incident of Mr. Rose. Good fellow, Rose. And the
old lady's case was desperate. Somebody had to buy that picture." I moved
uneasily in my seat "Wait a moment, will you? I haven't finished my cigar.
There's a little head of Il Fiammingo's that you haven't seen, by the way;
I picked it up the other day in Parma. We'll go in and have a look at it
presently. But meanwhile what I want to say is that I've been charged--in
the most informal way--to express to you the committee's appreciation of
your admirable promptness and energy in capturing the Bartley Reynolds. We
shouldn't have got it at all if you hadn't been uncommonly wide-awake, and
to get it at such a price is a double triumph. We'd have thought nothing of
a few more thousands--"
"I don't see," I impatiently interposed, "that, as far as I'm concerned,
that alters the case."
"Of Mrs. Fontage's Rembrandt. I bought the picture because, as you say, the
situation was desperate, and I couldn't raise a thousand myself. What I did
was of course indefensible; but the money shall be refunded tomorrow--"
Crozier raised a protesting hand. "Don't interrupt me when I'm talking ex
cathedra. The money's been refunded already. The fact is, the Museum has
sold the Rembrandt."
I stared at him wildly. "Sold it? To whom?"
"Why--to the committee.--Hold on a bit, please.--Won't you take another
cigar? Then perhaps I can finish what I've got to say.--Why, my dear
fellow, the committee's under an obligation to you--that's the way we look
at it. I've investigated Mrs. Fontage's case, and--well, the picture had to
be bought. She's eating meat now, I believe, for the first time in a year.
And they'd have turned her out into the street that very day, your cousin
tells me. Something had to be done at once, and you've simply given a
number of well-to-do and self-indulgent gentlemen the opportunity of
performing, at very small individual expense, a meritorious action in
the nick of time. That's the first thing I've got to thank you for. And
then--you'll remember, please, that I have the floor--that I'm still
speaking for the committee--and secondly, as a slight recognition of your
services in securing the Bartley Reynolds at a very much lower figure than
we were prepared to pay, we beg you--the committee begs you--to accept the
gift of Mrs. Fontage's Rembrandt. Now we'll go in and look at that little