Chapter 39

CHAPTER XXXIX.

JANUARY 5th and 6th.--The whole scene made a deep impression on
our minds, and Owen's speech coming as a sort of climax, brought
before us our misery with a force that was well-nigh
overwhelming.

As soon as I recovered my composure, I did not forget to thank
Andre Letourneur for the act of intervention that had saved my
life.

"Do you thank me for that; Mr. Kazallon?"  he said; "it has only
served to prolong your misery."

"Never mind, M. Letourneur," said Miss Herbey; "you did your
duty."

Enfeebled and emaciated as the young girl is, her sense of duty
never deserts her, and although her torn and bedraggled garments
float dejectedly about her body, she never utters a word of
complaint, and never loses courage.

"Mr. Kazallon," she said to me, "do you think we are fated to die
of hunger?"

"Yes; Miss Herbey, I do," I replied in a hard, cold tone.

"How long do you suppose we have to live?"  she asked again.

"I cannot say; perhaps we shall linger on longer than we
imagine."

"The strongest constitutions suffer the most, do they not?"  she
said.

"Yes; but they have one consolation; they die the soonest;" I
replied coldly.

Had every spark of humanity died out of my breast that I thus
brought the girl face to face with the terrible truth without a
word of hope or comfort?  The eyes of Andre and his father,
dilated with hunger, were fixed upon me, and I saw reproach and
astonishment written in their faces.

Afterwards, when we were quite alone, Miss Herbey asked me if I
would grant her a favour.

"Certainly, Miss Herbey; anything you like to ask," I replied;
and this time my manner was kinder and more genial.

"Mr. Kazallon," she said, "I am weaker than you, and shall
probably die first.  Promise me that, if I do, you will throw my
body into the sea."

"Oh, Miss Herbey," I began, "it was very wrong of me to speak to
you as I did!"

"No, no," she replied, half smiling; "you were quite right.  But
it is a weakness of mine; I don't mind what they do with me as
long as I am alive, but when I am dead--" she stopped and
shuddered.  "Oh, promise me that you will throw me into, the
sea!"

I gave her the melancholy promise, which she acknowledged by
pressing my hand feebly with her emaciated fingers.

Another night passed away.  At times my sufferings were so
intense that cries of agony involuntarily escaped my lips; then I
became calmer, and sank into a kind of lethargy.  When I awoke, I
was surprised to find my; companions still alive.

The one of our party who seems to bear his privations the best is
Hobart the steward, a man with whom hitherto I have had very
little to do.  He is small, with a fawning expression remarkable
for its indecision, and has a smile which is incessantly playing
round his lips; he goes about with his eyes half-closed, as
though he wished to conceal his thoughts, and there is something
altogether false and hypocritical about his whole demeanour.  I
cannot say that he bears his privations without a murmur, for he
sighs and moans incessantly; but, with it all, I cannot but think
that there is a want of genuineness in his manner, and that the
privation has not really told upon him as much as it has upon the
rest of us.  I have my suspicions about the man, and intend to
watch him carefully.  To-day, the 6th, M. Letourneur drew me
aside to the stern of the raft, saying that he had a secret to
communicate, but that he wished neither to be seen nor heard
speaking to me.  I withdrew with him to the larboard corner of
the raft; and, as it was growing dusk, nobody observed what we
were doing.

"Mr. Kazallon," M. Letourneur began in a low voice, "Andre is
dying of hunger:  he is growing weaker and weaker, and oh!  I
cannot, will not see him die!"

He spoke passionately, almost fiercely, and I fully understood
his feelings.  Taking his hand, I tried to reassure him.

"We will not despair yet," I said, "perhaps some passing ship--"

"Ship!"  he cried impatiently, "don't try to console me with
empty commonplaces; you know as well as I do that there is no
chance of falling in with a passing ship."  Then, breaking off
suddenly, he asked,--"How long is it since my son and all of you
have had anything to eat?"

Astonished at his question, I replied that it was now four days
since the biscuit had failed.

"Four days," he repeated; "well, then, it is eight since I have
tasted anything.  I have been saving my share for my son."

Tears rushed to my eyes; for a few moments I was unable to speak,
and could only once more grasp his hand in silence.

"What do you want me to do?"  I asked at length.

"Hush!  not so loud; some one will hear us," he said, Towering
his voice, "I want you to offer it to Andre as though it came
from yourself.  He would not accept it from me; he would think I
had been depriving myself for him.  Let me implore you to do me
this service and for your trouble," and here he gently stroked my
hand, "for your trouble you shall have a morsel for yourself."

I trembled like a child as I listened to the poor father's words,
and my heart was ready to burst when I felt a tiny piece of
biscuit slipped into my hand.

"Give it him," M. Letourneur went on under his breath, "give it
him; but do not let any one see you; the monsters would murder
you if they knew it.  This is only for to-day; I will give you
some more to-morrow."

The poor fellow did not trust me, and well he might not, for I
had the greatest difficulty to withstand the temptation to carry
the biscuit to my mouth, But I resisted the impulse, and those
alone who have suffered like me can know what the effort was.

Night came on with the rapidity peculiar to these low latitudes,
and I glided gently up to Andre and slipped the piece of biscuit
into his hand as "a present from myself."  The young man clutched
at it eagerly.

"But my father?"  he said inquiringly.

I assured him that his father and I had each had our share, and
that he must eat this now, and, perhaps, I should be able to
bring him some more another time.  Andre asked no more questions,
and eagerly devoured the morsel of food.

So this evening at least, notwithstanding M. Letourneur's offer,
I have tasted nothing.