Whether or Not

I

Dunna thee tell me its his�n, mother,
Dunna thee, dunna thee.
�Oh ay! he�ll be comin� to tell thee his-s�n
Wench, wunna he?

Tha doesna mean to say to me, mother,
He�s gone wi that�
�My gel, owt�ll do for a man i� the dark,
Tha�s got it flat.

But �er�s old, mother, �er�s twenty year
Older nor him�
�Ay, an� yaller as a crowflower, an� yet i� the dark
Er�d do for Tim.

Tha niver believes it, mother, does ter?
It�s somebody�s lies.
�Ax him thy-s�n wench�a widder�s lodger;
It�s no surprise.

II

A widow of forty-five
With a bitter, swarthy skin,
To ha� �ticed a lad o� twenty-five
An� �im to have been took in!

A widow of forty-five
As has sludged like a horse all her life,
Till �er�s tough as whit-leather, to slive
Atween a lad an� �is wife!

A widow of forty-five. A tough old otchel wi� long
Witch teeth, an� �er black hawk-eyes as I�ve
Mistrusted all along!

An� me as �as kep my-sen
Shut like a daisy bud,
Clean an� new an� nice, so�s when
He wed he�d ha�e summat good!

An� �im as nice an� fresh
As any man i� the force,
To ha�e gone an� given his white young flesh
To a woman that coarse!

III

You�re stout to brave this snow, Miss Stainwright,
Are you makin� Brinsley way?
�I�m off up th� line to Underwood
Wi� a dress as is wanted to-day.

Oh are you goin� to Underwood?
�Appen then you�ve �eered?
�What�s that as �appen I�ve �eered-on, Missis,
Speak up, you nedna be feared.

Why, your young man an� Widow Naylor,
Her as he lodges wi�,
They say he�s got her wi� childt; but there,
It�s nothing to do wi� me.

Though if it�s true they�ll turn him out
O� th� p�lice force, without fail;
An� if it�s not true, I�d back my life
They�ll listen to her tale.

Well, I�m believin� no tale, Missis,
I�m seein� for my-sen;
An� when I know for sure, Missis,
I�ll talk then.

IV

Nay robin red-breast, tha nedna
Sit noddin� thy head at me;
My breast�s as red as thine, I reckon,
Flayed red, if tha could but see.

Nay, you blessed pee-whips,
You nedna screet at me!
I�m screetin� my-sen, but are-na goin�
To let iv�rybody see.

Tha art smock-ravelled, bunny,
Larropin� neck an� crop
I� th� snow: but I�s warrant thee, bunny,
I�m further ower th� top.

V

Now sithee theer at th� railroad crossin�
Warmin� his-sen at the stool o� fire
Under the tank as fills the ingines,
If there isn�t my dearly-beloved liar!

My constable wi� �is buttoned breast
As stout as the truth, my sirs!�An� �is face
As bold as a robin! It�s much he cares
For this nice old shame and disgrace.

Oh but he drops his flag when �e sees me,
Yes, an� �is face goes white ... oh yes
Tha can stare at me wi� thy fierce blue eyes,
But tha doesna stare me out, I guess!

VI

Whativer brings thee out so far
In a� this depth o� snow?
�I�m takin� �ome a weddin� dress
If tha maun know.

Why, is there a weddin� at Underwood,
As tha ne�d trudge up here?
�It�s Widow Naylor�s weddin�-dress,
An� �er�s wantin it, I hear.

�Er doesna want no weddin-dress ...
What�but what dost mean?
�Doesn�t ter know what I mean, Tim?�Yi,
Tha must� a� been hard to wean!

Tha�rt a good-un at suckin-in yet, Timmy;
But tell me, isn�t it true
As �er�ll be wantin� my weddin� dress
In a week or two?

Tha�s no occasions ter ha�e me on
Lizzie�what�s done is done!
�Done, I should think so�Done! But might
I ask when tha begun?

It�s thee as �as done it as much as me,
Lizzie, I tell thee that.
��Me gotten a childt to thy landlady�!�
Tha�s gotten thy answer pat,

As tha allers hast�but let me tell thee
Hasna ter sent me whoam, when I
Was a�most burstin� mad o� my-sen
An� walkin� in agony;

After thy kisses, Lizzie, after
Tha�s lain right up to me Lizzie, an� melted
Into me, melted into me, Lizzie,
Till I was verily swelted.

An� if my landlady seed me like it,
An� if �er clawkin�, tiger�s eyes
Went through me just as the light went out
Is it any cause for surprise?

No cause for surprise at all, my lad,
After lickin� and snuffin� at me, tha could
Turn thy mouth on a woman like her�
Did ter find her good?

Ay, I did, but afterwards
I should like to ha� killed her!
�Afterwards!�an� after how long
Wor it tha�d liked to �a killed her?

Say no more, Liz, dunna thee,
I might lose my-sen.
�I�ll only say good-bye to thee, Timothy,
An� gi�e her thee back again.

I�ll ta�e thy word �Good-bye,� Liz,
But I shonna marry her,
I shonna for nobody.�It is
Very nice on you, Sir.

The childt maun ta�e its luck, it maun,
An� she maun ta�e her luck,
For I tell ye I shonna marry her�
What her�s got, her took.

That�s spoken like a man, Timmy,
That�s spoken like a man ...
�He up an� fired off his pistol
An� then away he ran.�

I damn well shanna marry �er,
So chew at it no more,
Or I�ll chuck the flamin� lot of you�
�You nedn�t have swore.

VII

That�s his collar round the candle-stick
An� that�s the dark blue tie I bought �im,
An� these is the woman�s kids he�s so fond on,
An� �ere comes the cat that caught �im.

I dunno where his eyes was�a gret
Round-shouldered hag! My sirs, to think
Of him stoopin� to her! You�d wonder he could
Throw hisself in that sink.

I expect you know who I am, Mrs Naylor!
�Who yer are?�yis, you�re Lizzie Stainwright.
�An �appen you might guess what I�ve come for?
��Appen I mightn�t, �appen I might.

You knowed as I was courtin� Tim Merfin.
�Yis, I knowed �e wor courtin� thee.
An� yet you�ve been carryin� on wi� him.
�Ay, an� �im wi� me.

Well, now you�ve got to pay for it,
�An� if I han, what�s that to thee?
For �e isn�t goin� to marry you.
�Is it a toss-up �twixt thee an� me?

It�s no toss-up �twixt thee an� me.
�Then what art colleyfoglin� for?
I�m not havin� your orts an� slarts.
�Which on us said you wor?

I want you to know �e�s non marryin� you.
�Tha wants �im thy-sen too bad.
Though I�ll see as �e pays you, an� comes to the scratch.
�Tha�rt for doin� a lot wi� th� lad.

VIII

To think I should ha�e to haffle an� caffle
Wi� a woman, an� pay �er a price
For lettin� me marry the lad as I thought
To marry wi� cabs an� rice.

But we�ll go unbeknown to the registrar,
An� give �er what money there is,
For I won�t be beholden to such as her
For anythink of his.

IX

Take off thy duty stripes, Tim,
An� come wi� me in here,
Ta�e off thy p�lice-man�s helmet
An� look me clear.

I wish tha hadna done it, Tim,
I do, an� that I do!
For whenever I look thee i� th� face, I s�ll see
Her face too.

I wish tha could wesh �er off�n thee,
For I used to think that thy
Face was the finest thing that iver
Met my eye....

X

Twenty pound o� thy own tha hast, and fifty pound ha�e I,
Thine shall go to pay the woman, an� wi� my bit we�ll buy
All as we shall want for furniture when tha leaves this place,
An� we�ll be married at th� registrar�now lift thy face.

Lift thy face an� look at me, man, up an� look at me:
Sorry I am for this business, an� sorry if I ha�e driven thee
To such a thing: but it�s a poor tale, that I�m bound to say,
Before I can ta�e thee I�ve got a widow of forty-five to pay.

Dunnat thee think but what I love thee�I love thee well,
But �deed an� I wish as this tale o� thine wor niver my tale to tell;
Deed an� I wish as I could stood at the altar wi� thee an� been proud o� thee,
That I could ha� been first woman to thee, as thou�rt first man to me.

But we maun ma�e the best on�t�I�ll rear thy childt if �er�ll yield it to me,
An� then wi� that twenty pound we gi�e �er I s�d think �er wunna be
So very much worser off than �er wor before�An� now look up
An� answer me�for I�ve said my say, an� there�s no more sorrow to sup.

Yi, tha�rt a man, tha�rt a fine big man, but niver a baby had eyes
As sulky an� ormin� as thine. Hast owt to say otherwise
From what I�ve arranged wi� thee? Eh man, what a stubborn jackass thou art,
Kiss me then�there!�ne�er mind if I scraight�I wor fond o� thee, Sweetheart.