SCANDAL, MRS FORESIGHT.
SCANDAL
Good night, good Mr Foresight; and I hope Mars and Venus will
be in conjunction;--while your wife and I are together.
MRS FORESIGHT
Well; and what use do you hope to make of this project?
You don't think that you are ever like to succeed in your design
upon me?
SCANDAL
Yes, faith I do; I have a better opinion both of you and
myself than to despair.
MRS FORESIGHT
Did you ever hear such a toad? Hark'ee, devil: do you
think any woman honest?
SCANDAL
Yes, several, very honest; they'll cheat a little at cards,
sometimes, but that's nothing.
MRS FORESIGHT
Pshaw! but virtuous, I mean?
SCANDAL
Yes, faith, I believe some women are virtuous too; but 'tis
as I believe some men are valiant, through fear. For why should a
man court danger or a woman shun pleasure?
MRS FORESIGHT
Oh, monstrous! What are conscience and honour?
SCANDAL
Why, honour is a public enemy, and conscience a domestic
thief; and he that would secure his pleasure must pay a tribute to
one and go halves with t'other. As for honour, that you have
secured, for you have purchased a perpetual opportunity for
pleasure.
MRS FORESIGHT
An opportunity for pleasure?
SCANDAL
Ay, your husband, a husband is an opportunity for pleasure:
so you have taken care of honour, and 'tis the least I can do to
take care of conscience.
MRS FORESIGHT
And so you think we are free for one another?
SCANDAL
Yes, faith I think so; I love to speak my mind.
MRS FORESIGHT
Why, then, I'll speak my mind. Now as to this affair
between you and me. Here you make love to me; why, I'll confess it
does not displease me. Your person is well enough, and your
understanding is not amiss.
SCANDAL
I have no great opinion of myself, but I think I'm neither
deformed nor a fool.
MRS FORESIGHT
But you have a villainous character: you are a libertine
in speech, as well as practice.
SCANDAL
Come, I know what you would say: you think it more dangerous
to be seen in conversation with me than to allow some other men the
last favour; you mistake: the liberty I take in talking is purely
affected for the service of your sex. He that first cries out stop
thief is often he that has stol'n the treasure. I am a juggler,
that act by confederacy; and if you please, we'll put a trick upon
the world.
MRS FORESIGHT
Ay; but you are such an universal juggler, that I'm
afraid you have a great many confederates.
SCANDAL
Faith, I'm sound.
MRS FORESIGHT
Oh, fie--I'll swear you're impudent.
SCANDAL
I'll swear you're handsome.
MRS FORESIGHT
Pish, you'd tell me so, though you did not think so.
SCANDAL
And you'd think so, though I should not tell you so. And now
I think we know one another pretty well.
MRS FORESIGHT
O Lord, who's here?
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