Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

No use crying over spilt milk,
But lethal weapons of that ilk,
Those blunt, milk-jugg-knockers,
Should be kept firmly in their lockers.
Or handled with the utmost care,
Lest they ruin all your breakfast fare.

Thou furry knave go sweep the floor
The Lucky Charms and grits du jour
Spotless I expect the floor to be
Or the contents of my locker you’ll never see.

Go now and empty my chamber pot
A loathsome task for thy male lot.
Let not a foul drop escape the rim
You'll scrub the floor with your gin.


.

[prendrelemick]

Furry knave?

[jocky]

Furry knave?

It works! This is all part of new poetry where iambic pentameter is the perfect medium for rap. Read it aloud in the new idiom and all will become muddy clear. The new Norton Anthology explains it all. Now I am off to book me and the wife's dream holiday, we depart on the 21st of December 2012. What could possibly go wrong?

[prendrelemick]

Never mind the 1ambus, I shall wait for the 2am bus

[soundofmusic]

For Madam thinks she always rules the roost,
And so her ego I shall give a boost.
But as I scrub the dishes, wipe the plates,
And let her off to nightclubs with her mates,
I snigger to myself for I still know,
That even as I clean I rule the show.
To other's eye it seems my claim's a sham,
With all the work I have to sweat and cram.
And as you toast your friends and glasses clink
I know my place, it's she who only thinks.

Great prose and plan, without the worries and brainwork you'll live to be 100!

Brilliant !!!!!!
You guys are nothing….nothing but pure genius.

I know it's in you. Perhaps the governess, Edelweiss, a doe, a deer...

Please forgive me, I've had a little too much wine tonight.

Gilliatt

Hum, I feel a full musical coming on here....

No use crying over spilt milk,
But lethal weapons of that ilk,
Those blunt, milk-jugg-knockers,
Should be kept firmly in their lockers.
Or handled with the utmost care,
Lest they ruin all your breakfast fare.

Beautiful!

Unfortunately no. It is a very young Ewan MacGregor, although many wise ladies who know about these things say he looks very like me.

Odd, I thought Ewan was shorter

You're kidding? His wife is honestly Candy?

I had a doll named Candy once: it was very pretty, wore a lovely party dress and kept its legs open

[gbrekken]

If I'd a Mrs. she'd threaten me with mopping the floor with my furry chin, not gin.

be that as it may

There once was a bloke in Ferntucky,
went to the bar to feel lucky,
twas not to be,
he sits in the tree, not even
feeling plucky.

[jocky]

If I'd a Mrs. she'd threaten me with mopping the floor with my furry chin, not gin.

be that as it may

There once was a bloke in Ferntucky,
went to the bar to feel lucky,
twas not to be,
he sits in the tree, not even
feeling plucky.

That will defenitely be used in our play, If our librettist Gilliatt agrees. It is just perfect for the comic relief during the interval when the audience retires to the bar.

[The Atheist]

Now I am off to book me and the wife's dream holiday, we depart on the 21st of December 2012. What could possibly go wrong?

Deja vu!

I just mentioned that very thing in another thread.

Never mind the 1ambus, I shall wait for the 2am bus

That's clever!

If I'd a Mrs. she'd threaten me with mopping the floor with my furry chin, not gin.

be that as it may

There once was a bloke in Ferntucky,
went to the bar to feel lucky,
twas not to be,
he sits in the tree, not even
feeling plucky.

And that's brilliant.

[Paulclem]

It's coming together this play.

Good luck with the getaway Jocky. It snowed all day here, and now it's dropped to -7. Good job I'm from Yorkshire and was exposed on the slagheaps as a child to keep me tough.

[jocky]

It's coming together this play.

Good luck with the getaway Jocky. It snowed all day here, and now it's dropped to -7. Good job I'm from Yorkshire and was exposed on the slagheaps as a child to keep me tough.

Mount Olympus is child's play compared to Whernside. The Yorkshire Gods are much tougher than these effete Greek thingy's. There is no way the sixth formers are going to mess with you. Ahem, it is -15 here, cough, splutter and so forth and we have no slagheaps to keep us warm.

Tragic news, England have just lost the third test match.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

That will defenitely be used in our play, If our librettist Gilliatt agrees. It is just perfect for the comic relief during the interval when the audience retires to the bar.

It's coming together this play.

Good luck with the getaway Jocky. It snowed all day here, and now it's dropped to -7. Good job I'm from Yorkshire and was exposed on the slagheaps as a child to keep me tough.

By all means Gilliatt agrees!
The "Flat Earth Poets Society" is poisitively astounded by gbrekken's contribution and hereby welomes him to the guild.
Atheist ??...Parker...??

By the way, if you gentlemen and lady will have me, then I would be honored to serve as our Christmas play librettist. As a matter of fact I was just now putting structure to our installments thus far, such as Acts, Scenes, setting descriptions, enters, exeunts, character descriptions, etc.

Enjoy the holiday Jocky.
Now back to my lab of insanity...

.

[The Atheist]

Ahem, it is -15 here, cough, splutter and so forth and we have no slagheaps to keep us warm.

That's a bit nippy.

I don't think it's ever been -15 anywhere in NZ that isn't at the top of a mountain.

Tragic news, England have just lost the third test match.

What? A Scotsman celebrating the demise of Sassenachs? Never!

By all means Gilliatt agrees!
The "Flat Earth Poets Society" is poisitively astounded by gbrekken's contribution and hereby welomes him to the guild.
Atheist ??...Parker...??

No, I'm strictly apoetic. Ask me to write a couple of thousand words of prose or have a flame war and I'm your man. Poetry and me are like oil and water.

[prendrelemick]

. Poetry and me are like oil and water.

We await some iridescent verse.



Yep, Our National Cricket team once again leads the world in batting collapses. It appears that Mitchell Johnson is not a pommy-loving waster but a hero after all - until next time

Meanwhile,
Our bigfoot expedition is delayed
Not for logistical manouvering,
But while Jocky finishes the hoovering.

[The Atheist]

We await some iridescent verse.

Incandescent would be closer to the mark; I do a good dirty limerick.

Yep, Our National Cricket team once again leads the world in batting collapses. It appears that Mitchell Johnson is not a pommy-loving waster but a hero after all - until next time

The press is the funniest thing. One win and England are the far better team, the odds on them winning all the remaining games shorten to stupid levels, and sure enough, lose the next.

At least your blokes do win a few - we are presently on an 11-game losing streak, which includes 4 in a row against Bangladesh.

In an effort not to break the world record and go earn the [rightful] place as the worst cricket team in the history of the game, I understand we're taking on St Cuthbert's Girls' 1st XI on Boxing Day.

The girls are at 3:1, a pretty good bet, in my opinion.

[prendrelemick]

What do you N Zeds think of Sir Richard Hadlee. Is he revered in his own country as he is over here?