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Thread: living two minutes away

  1. #1
    Registered User Sampson's Avatar
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    living two minutes away

    rhymes wind like ivy vines climb
    the pillars of time and i'm tired
    of trying to define the divine
    so i'll read my own mind like a
    broken road sign by the side of
    highway dissecting a landscape
    changing as a i watch from a cotch
    in the front seat of corsa with three
    close friends and quarter

    i once called myself sam porter
    with certainty and personally
    considered it my mission to accumulate
    wisdom read the words that have been
    written and listen to those spoken
    thoughts with burn out like a torch
    lighting the way through the maze
    of underground caves which i paced
    back in the day, yeah... i once called
    myself sam porter with certainty and
    personally considered it my privilege
    to be living in a time where minds collide
    as sure as the rhymes i write reflect
    those age old ivy vines which never die
    perpetually continue to climb the pillars
    of time and i'm sure that there's more

    sure of new heights to reach
    i thought i wanted to be taught
    but university can seem bleak
    in novembers of the soul like these
    and i rolled into my home town
    feeling a freedom which i had envisioned
    walking away from simmond's
    each evening breathing bittersweet
    winter breezes and making drum rollies
    with hands which were freezing
    and i still couldn't help feeling
    that something was missing

    maybe it's that i still picture kissing
    her goodnight before i sleep
    and thats why it seems bleak
    maybe the pieces of the puzzle
    got bored of waiting in the box
    i dunno... but i still love her
    and she still has one of my socks
    so i guess that i'll keep cotched in this
    corsa where we've blazed the quarter
    down to an eighth and turned our eyes
    to the sky scape

    clouds roll past like trains i've ridden
    from diss to london a million times
    and back, from paris to nice where the
    beaches had me believing that i could
    dream forever, from vienna to nuremberg
    all i did was dream, frankly its been that
    way since i was fourteen

    i believed in what the ecstasy and MD
    told me and even though now its cold
    and i feel i got nobody to hold me down
    i remember the way the world turned around
    those times i got high in london town
    lived experiences which i could never deny
    under that crazy orange night sky in
    london town

    and now we're both living by the sea,
    her and me, ain't really like a i figured
    it would be... and it could be a blessing
    in disguise and it could be that i haven't
    really forgotten the look in her eyes or
    her smile quite yet because time can be
    slow to take effect

    so for now i'm here in this corsa
    unsure of whether i still am sam porter
    or more or less than i was way back when
    and by the time i finish this verse we'll
    have smoked that eighth down to a bens
    just me and those three close friends
    and we'll sense that the evening is coming
    to an end and head back to wherever home is
    but before that we'll smoke one last spliff
    and watch as the ivy vines continue to climb
    and lift our spirits with them, drifting,
    like spliff smoke out the window...

  2. #2
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    After a time I began to feel that maybe there ought to have been a bit more editting but I'd hate to be the one to say what you should cut back on. The manic play of internal rhymes, half rhymes, etcetera, is intoxicating.

  3. #3
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I really enjoyed it Sampson. Often I find poems this size hard to read but I wound around spellbound every line like it was sign....!
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  4. #4
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Agree with the above. As mesmerizing an ennui I have ever read.
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  5. #5
    Pièce de Résistance Scheherazade's Avatar
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    What a breath taking read, Sampson! I have really enjoyed this

    Couple of things:

    - I don't know what a "cotch" is. It is not listed on Cambridge Online either but, since you used it twice (once as a noun and once as an adjective?), I am assuming it is not a spelling mistake. What does it mean?

    - What does "bens" mean in the line, "have smoked that eighth down to a bens"?

    - Also, because you have used it in other lines, I don't think you are againt using punctuation so I think apostrophe is missing in these lines:

    and that's why it seems bleak
    ...
    all i did was dream, frankly it's been that

    ...
    told me and even though now it's cold


    - Is "a" in this line necessary?
    "her and me, ain't really like a i figured
    "
    ~
    "It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
    ~


  6. #6
    Registered User Sampson's Avatar
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    Cheers guys...

    Scheherazade, a 'cotch' is a slang term that i picked up in East London; it means a cosy, chilled out place... Roughly at least. In this sense its a noun, but it can also be used as a verb; 'to cotch' would be to sit down and chill i guess.

    A 'bens' is another slang term that assimilated itself into my vocabulary in East London. It means a ten bag of grass.

    And as to the punctuation, the 'a' was a typo and the rest were just oversights on my part. I tend to write very quickly in a stream of consciousness sort of style...

  7. #7
    Pièce de Résistance Scheherazade's Avatar
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    Thank you very much for your explanations, Sampson. Looking forward to reading more of your poems
    ~
    "It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
    ~


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