Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[The Atheist]

"5mm...Have you been firing NATO rounds into the sky?

Don't they use 9mm?

Do NATO have small weapons?

All this talk of digested grass is welling up a nostalgic tear:

Me too.

I love the smell of frshly-opened silage pit!

No kidding,
Well, everyone here who hasn't gone to the beaches are complaining of stomach problems too...I've felt dreadful the last few days..
I think that might be the idea; get us down to the tropics and then give us all those flu shots...if one doesn't knock off the elderly population, the other will.

Mind you, there must be excellent economies of scale in Florida.

Hope you're feeling better!

I'm getting Parker to chill the Kahlua to exactly 4 degrees C for you when you come right.

I can't find the break down; please interpret...

Abandon hope, all ye who enter.

Jocky's translation of "beware the dog" is also accurate.

Now we have Den of Iniquity, what about a name for our brotherhood like, Cold Ale Club Knights, or CACK for short.

In the cack would be right!

[The Atheist]

This reminds me of the time when the London borough of Southwark set up a group called Southwark Housing Investment Team, before realising that it would have to be changed to something less embarrassing.

[jocky]

Now we have Den of Iniquity, what about a name for our brotherhood like, Cold Ale Club Knights, or CACK for short.

After much consultation among the Scottish membership we have decided to come down in favour of Mick's proposal, with one proviso, the majority of urban members shall not be lorded over by the minority pastoral aristocracy. You know who you are.

[dafydd manton]

Or. to put it another way: "We'll have none of your **** in our chambers!"

[jocky]

This reminds me of the time when the London borough of Southwark set up a group called Southwark Housing Investment Team, before realising that it would have to be changed to something less embarrassing.

Yes, but common sense finally kicked in and they changed their name to Southwark Housing Investment Team Enterprise.

[dafydd manton]

And nobody noticed.................

[The Atheist]

Now this stuff brings back happy memories. I used to live for English assignments where I could dream up epithetic acronyms.

Most don't bear repeating in this type of open forum.

[dafydd manton]

I genuinely spent some time on an Army signals Regt unit, which had a First-Aid Techinical Stores Officer, a very florid and rotund Major.....FATSO!

[The Atheist]

I have honestly interviewed a man named Wayne Kerr.

Also, Rod Stewart, Bruce Willis and several others with celebrity names.

[Emil Miller]

Yes, but common sense finally kicked in and they changed their name to Southwark Housing Investment Team Enterprise.

Actually they changed it to OHIT. I never discovered what the 'O' stood for.

[prendrelemick]

Perhaps the O was a zero.

[Emil Miller]

I genuinely spent some time on an Army signals Regt unit, which had a First-Aid Techinical Stores Officer, a very florid and rotund Major.....FATSO!

One of my former colleagues in the MoD was sent to the Falkland Islands for six months. He said that the British radio station that broadcast to Argentina was called the Falkland Islands Broadcasting Service. The Argentinians must have had a laugh at that.

[The Atheist]

Perhaps the O was a zero.

That's very good!

... Falkland Islands for six months...

Los Malvinas! English imperialist!

Who was the radio designed for? Did it actually have an audience, or was it some kind of Lord Haw-Haw for the '80s?

Here, this'll cheer you up.

When the Falklands War was happening, I had a friend about to take the "big OE" as it's called in Kiwi-speak - an extended overseas trip - and he was going to UK/Europe first. He was a bit worried, because of the war, so I asked him why that bothered him.

He thought the Falklands were part of the Channel Islands and that the war was within an Exocet of London.

[dafydd manton]

.....and he was a Navigator!

[Paulclem]

That's very good!
Here, this'll cheer you up.

When the Falklands War was happening, I had a friend about to take the "big OE" as it's called in Kiwi-speak - an extended overseas trip - and he was going to UK/Europe first. He was a bit worried, because of the war, so I asked him why that bothered him.

He thought the Falklands were part of the Channel Islands and that the war was within an Exocet of London.

I once asked a colleague who was going on holiday to Miami if she was going to pop up to see her sister in LA, not realising that it is as vast a distance from the UK to Miami as it is from Miami to LA

I'm a smalltown boy.