10 Things We Didn't Know This Time Last Week

[Scheherazade]

1. You can get inflatable TV screens.

2. Meerkats have family "traditions" that are passed down through generations.

3. Two year olds have woodwork lessons, using hammers and nails.

4. A salary of £14,400 is the minimum a single person needs for an acceptable standard of living.

5. The world's tallest tent is 150m (490ft) high.

6. Lady Gaga has over 10m fans on Facebook.

7. Hamburger-related injuries are on the rise in Taiwan.

8. The common octopus is the most intelligent invertebrate.

9. Liquid can stop bullets.

10. The male squid's sexual organ is almost as long as its whole body.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_143.shtml

[Scheherazade]

1. David Beckham's wife Victoria is named "Posh" in his mobile phone.

2. Plants think.

3. Having a big head may protect against dementia.

4. Gorillas play tag.

5. Throughout history, most US infants of both genders have worn dresses.

6. Mount Everest is getting less icy.

7. Former Olympics minister Tessa Jowell is a "must-see" landmark on Google Maps.

8. The Vatican says ordaining women is "grave" as is sex abuse.

9. Wearing high heels makes flat shoes more painful.

10. Scientists don't know whether intensive exercise is good for footballers.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_144.shtml

[Scheherazade]

1. Twenty babies born in the UK since World War II have been named Adolf.

2. Thursday is the grumpiest day, according to research in the US.

3. In Brazil, a social networking site called Orkut has more members than Facebook and Twitter combined.

4. Beer can have an alcohol content of 55%.

5. Jokes can be protected by copyright, in theory.

6. Blood can be mixed with pulp to make a page in a book.

7. A sum of £650m can buy you about 7% of the world's cocoa.

8. Before 2008, prisoners were allowed to have fancy dress parties and comedy nights.

9. Black parents can have white, blond-haired children.

10. Tour de France etiquette dictates that cyclists should not overtake the leader if he suffers mechanical problems.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_145.shtml

[Virgil]

I guess I haven't retorted in a long while. Let's see if my humor button is still working.

1. You can get inflatable TV screens.

Wow, get yourself a blowup doll and you really can make your own porn movie with no one else.

2. Meerkats have family "traditions" that are passed down through generations.

I bet they don't celebrate Christmas on the 25th of December.

3. Two year olds have woodwork lessons, using hammers and nails.

Ok, and the safety expert who came up with this brilliant idea was?

4. A salary of £14,400 is the minimum a single person needs for an acceptable standard of living.

That's about $22,000. Yeah that's about minimum.

5. The world's tallest tent is 150m (490ft) high.

Will they fly air planes into them to knock them down? I bet not.

6. Lady Gaga has over 10m fans on Facebook.

Not me. I have no idea who she is.

7. Hamburger-related injuries are on the rise in Taiwan.

Eating them too fast can be a problem.

8. The common octopus is the most intelligent invertebrate.

Of course that doesn't say much for vertebrate. They have the same intelligence of many punks on the streets.

10. The male squid's sexual organ is almost as long as its whole body.

Well, it's not the size that matters, but the motion in the ocean. [Oh I couldn't resist that. ]

1. David Beckham's wife Victoria is named "Posh" in his mobile phone.

Family secrets are just so hard to keep.

2. Plants think.

And i bet more profoundly than many of our philosophical threads here. Have you seen some of those threads? My geranium has a higher I.Q.

3. Having a big head may protect against dementia.

Then i'm more than safe.

4. Gorillas play tag.

Unfortunately if they tag you, you are squashed.

5. Throughout history, most US infants of both genders have worn dresses.

That's because mothers indulge their whims so. Matthew will not suffer this, I promise you.

6. Mount Everest is getting less icy.

So?

7. Former Olympics minister Tessa Jowell is a "must-see" landmark on Google Maps.

The olympics have ministers? I assume they pray to the Greek gods?

8. The Vatican says ordaining women is "grave" as is sex abuse.

If those women groups object, why don't they just leave the Catholic Church? They are "shocked" at the Vatican position? The position has only been around for two thousand plus years. Why should they be shocked? Such phonies.

9. Wearing high heels makes flat shoes more painful.

Why do women wear high heels? Other than for that sexy tramp look.

10. Scientists don't know whether intensive exercise is good for footballers.

I guess we should see if your average obese man can keep up with those that intensely train. How silly. Another of your tax dollars going toward an itelligent study.

1. Twenty babies born in the UK since World War II have been named Adolf.

I guess Hitler kind of ruined that name forever. Actually Adolf came in second as a name for our son.

2. Thursday is the grumpiest day, according to research in the US.

Nothing is grumpier than Monday. I'm sorry, that holds as much water as a thimble.

3. In Brazil, a social networking site called Orkut has more members than Facebook and Twitter combined.

Hmm, that is very interesting and surprising.

4. Beer can have an alcohol content of 55%.

Oh I saw that in the news. Leave it to the Scots to make the perfect beer.

5. Jokes can be protected by copyright, in theory.

Hey, I should copyright this thread!

6. Blood can be mixed with pulp to make a page in a book.

Yes, and that book is called Dracula.

7. A sum of £650m can buy you about 7% of the world's cocoa.

Is that cocoa for chocolate or cocoa for cocaine?

8. Before 2008, prisoners were allowed to have fancy dress parties and comedy nights.

Sounds like that's from a play by Jean Genet. Dress parties? What were they dressed as, Zorro with a whip?

9. Black parents can have white, blond-haired children.

Maybe so but do you believe that the rest of the family will buy that one? I doubt it. And frankly I'm kind of skeptical of that story.

10. Tour de France etiquette dictates that cyclists should not overtake the leader if he suffers mechanical problems.

But a good knife in the back while his bike is working just fine is perfectly legal.

[Basil]

2. Thursday is the grumpiest day

I think this was originally the first line of The Waste Land until Pound made Eliot change it.

[papayahed]

I think this was originally the first line of The Waste Land until Pound made Eliot change it.

I heard that somewhere.. I also heard that Tolstoy wanted to name it War: What's it good for? but his publisher made him change it to War and Peace.

[Basil]

Whatever you say, Jerry.

[Scheherazade]

1. One in five UK women will not have children, many by choice.

2. Gooseberries have been in England since at least 1275, when the king shipped over plants from France to grow at the Tower of London.

3. International athletes coming to London for the 1948 Olympics had to bring their own towels.

4. And half the pigeons brought to the stadium to be released for the opening ceremony died in the heat.

5. A man thought to be Tokyo's oldest had, in fact, been dead for 30 years.

6. Dogs mimic their owners.

7. And one in three are obese.

8. Snooker world championships used to last a year.

9. One in 36 pound coins is fake.

10. The world's most ancient living creatures are a breed of shrimp which live in south-west Scotland.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_146.shtml

[Virgil]

1. One in five UK women will not have children, many by choice.

Hopefully those that want children will consider adoption.

2. Gooseberries have been in England since at least 1275, when the king shipped over plants from France to grow at the Tower of London.

Little known fact was the King of England stole it from the King of France, and so the long history of English/French warfare has its roots in a pilferred gooseberry plant.

3. International athletes coming to London for the 1948 Olympics had to bring their own towels.

And if they forgot? Boy I bet there were lots of smelly athletes.

4. And half the pigeons brought to the stadium to be released for the opening ceremony died in the heat.

Can you imagine the openning ceremony? Dead pidgeons all over the ground.

5. A man thought to be Tokyo's oldest had, in fact, been dead for 30 years.

And if they didn't find him he would have lived forever.

6. Dogs mimic their owners.

Is that why she howls at dinner time too?

7. And one in three are obese.

The owner or the dog? Well, they mimc.

8. Snooker world championships used to last a year.

Maybe if they were better shots the game would only last six months.

9. One in 36 pound coins is fake.

Yes, they are only eight onces.

10. The world's most ancient living creatures are a breed of shrimp which live in south-west Scotland.

And Nelly at Loch Ness has been feeding on those shrimps since the beginning of time. Or is Nelly a very large shrimp?

[Niamh]

6. Lady Gaga has over 10m fans on Facebook.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_143.shtml

Current figure is 14,556,153.

Yes i am one of them

[Scheherazade]

1. Rotterdam is Europe's busiest port.

2. Beach huts in Scarborough cost nearly as much as a one-bedroom flat.

3. Buttocks are hardest to tan.

4. Last year, Iceland became the first country with an openly gay head of state.

5. Middlesex was first documented in the Eighth Century.

6. Winston Churchill concealed a reported UFO sighting while prime minister because he feared it would cause mass panic and make people question religion.

7. One in five drivers killed in road accidents has some kind of drug in his body.

8. Hormones can affect shopping habits.

9. William, Alice and Robert are names the English adopted from the Normans.

10. Fourteen swimmers have been rescued from The Thames in the last six months.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_147.shtml

[DocHeart]

1. I didn't know I would break up with her. We had just come back from holiday, everything seemed fine.

2. I didn't know she was planning to move out and had already started looking for a flat.

3. I didn't know I would be sleeping in a dingy hotel to allow her to pack in peace.

4. I didn't know that when I'd come back the house would start to feel like hell.

5. I didn't know that so many of her socks had accidentally ended up in my drawer.

6. I didn't know that her perfume would stay on some parts of the sofa. How long will this last?

7. I had no idea that the fact that she hasn't even called once to say "how are you" would bother me so intensely.

8. I didn't know that a serious relationship can end so swiftly, almost silently, with only very few (and mundane) words uttered.

9. Having broken up with dozens of women, I never thought breaking up with this one would hurt so much.

10. And I didn't know that, contrary to the dictates of the pain, I would be so determined to avoid getting back with her at all costs.

[Scheherazade]

1. Pea plants can grow inside a human lung.

2. In Switzerland you can be fined $1m for speeding.

3. Seaside towns and the Isle of Man used to have postcard censorship committees.

4. The penguin on Penguin books was named Frostie after one of the editors at the publishing house.

5. Nationwide supermarket bans exist.

6. Naturalist Charles Darwin left the Victorian equivalent of about £13m today, and Charles Dickens £7m when they died.

7. Fishermen in Britain have a one in 20 chance of being killed on the job during the course of their working lives.

8. The Qwerty keyboard layout isn't random - it's to keep commonly used letters apart.

9. Some hardened sauna users can stand temperatures of up to 160C.

10. Honeybees are cleverer at certain times of the day.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_148.shtml

[Virgil]

yikes, I'm behind.

1. Rotterdam is Europe's busiest port.

That's because there's a damm lot of rot that goes through there.

2. Beach huts in Scarborough cost nearly as much as a one-bedroom flat.

That's because Beach huts forgot to have toilets.

3. Buttocks are hardest to tan.

I guess it depends on whether the buttocks belong to a slim sexy person or a fat person.

4. Last year, Iceland became the first country with an openly gay head of state.

That's because there's not that much sun in Iceland to tan his buttocks.

5. Middlesex was first documented in the Eighth Century.

Silly me, and I thought sex existed from the time of creation.

6. Winston Churchill concealed a reported UFO sighting while prime minister because he feared it would cause mass panic and make people question religion.

And what if the UFO happened to be God!

7. One in five drivers killed in road accidents has some kind of drug in his body.

Does food count as a drug? Or caffeine?

8. Hormones can affect shopping habits.

Anyone who's shopped with a menstruating woman knows how true that is. "Why are you buying that hammer sweetheart?" "To smash your skull darling."

9. William, Alice and Robert are names the English adopted from the Normans.

How about Norm?

10. Fourteen swimmers have been rescued from The Thames in the last six months.

I guess they need to place hand rails along London Bridge.

1. Pea plants can grow inside a human lung.

That was one weird story. Talk about chest congestion.

2. In Switzerland you can be fined $1m for speeding.

One million dollars? Boy that's some ticket. I wonder how much the insurance goes up after that.

3. Seaside towns and the Isle of Man used to have postcard censorship committees.

I guess they had too many people trying to tan their buttocks.

4. The penguin on Penguin books was named Frostie after one of the editors at the publishing house.

Penguins on penguins? Is that the new porn?

5. Nationwide supermarket bans exist.

Then how do people eat if there are no supermarkets?

6. Naturalist Charles Darwin left the Victorian equivalent of about £13m today, and Charles Dickens £7m when they died.

I think I'll be kind to my uncle Charlie. I bet he's got bucks too.

7. Fishermen in Britain have a one in 20 chance of being killed on the job during the course of their working lives.

That's incredible. Well, if you go looking for Great Whites, Jaws come looking for you.

8. The Qwerty keyboard layout isn't random - it's to keep commonly used letters apart.

The Qwerty keyboard is idiotic. Why did they put "A" under a pinky finger and "J" under the right index finger? It would have been more appropriate if it the letters F-U-C-K-Y-O-U went across the top row

9. Some hardened sauna users can stand temperatures of up to 160C.

And after 20 minutes their buttocks are well done.

10. Honeybees are cleverer at certain times of the day.

After breakfest and a good cup of coffee.

[Helga]

4. Last year, Iceland became the first country with an openly gay head of state.

]

She was also the first to get married to her partner.

I think we have the strangest mayor too, did you see him in drag?