Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Paulclem]

Just the ticket! No smart***es are allowed, or else Parker, when he returns will have to have a word. I wonder when he's due back?

[soundofmusic]

Haha! You remind me of a great story.

One of my former lovers - a blonde stunner, funnily enough - was a complete exhibitionist who used to drive an automatic car with her left leg resting on the centre console to see how many truck drivers just about lost control. (right hand drive)

Baaaad girl.

But lots of fun!

She also used to come into my office and make like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. My secretary - an older, but fun bird - used to come and tell me that "that sexy-lookin' one had arrived".

Fortuantely, I was never the one driving; I don't know if it's true, but I hear men have better hand:eye coordination. I was always dating fellows that wanted to try athetics at 80 miles an hour...bumped my head on the steering wheel a few times

I'll bet you really prolonged Sharons case...

the cat comes in looking for food, passes wind and leaves again, which I do not appreciate.

My cat thinks I'm his bi***; I haven't had a hot dinner in a year, he always uses the litter box and insists on immediate service before I sit down

One advantage to working from home - you know you can chase the secretary around without fear of reprisal!

I don't guess you get alot of work done that way. I don't guess that works if the secretary isn't your wife

Ha! Rumbled! Mind you, these days, I'd probably need an osteopath!

One of my former sweet hearts recently teased me, stating that I would "have a heart attack" if I attempted a night of bliss
What do you think the purpose of that was?

One peeping Tom in the household is quite sufficient thank you very much.

Well, I assumed that Mrs Jocky was keeping her eye on the red planet to insure that it wasn't going to lose gravity and come crashing through your window one night

This is the thread Dafydd - aliens and ale, women and the world cup, beer and banking, google and whatnot. It is the home of the wise and experienced - though not at the same time.

Which is why, even if the ladies would allow me to take part in their discussion of shoes and toe nail fungi cures, I would still be haunting this thread

That lets me out, mate. Experienced, without a doubt, but wise? I don't think so!

I'm like your basic scientist; I keep retesting the experiences to see if I got them right the first time

Just the ticket! No smart***es are allowed, or else Parker, when he returns will have to have a word. I wonder when he's due back?

Here, Here, My warm beer is cooling off...

[The Atheist]

Funny enough Mr Macpherson came to my door in a very threatening posture, unfortunately for him the military training kicked in. He is now in wards 2, 3, 7, and 10 of the local hospital.

I gather you're used to drinking late in Glasgow!

Just the ticket! No smart***es are allowed, or else Parker, when he returns will have to have a word. I wonder when he's due back?

After the final whistle of the World Cup.

Fortuantely, I was never the one driving; I don't know if it's true, but I hear men have better hand:eye coordination. I was always dating fellows that wanted to try athetics at 80 miles an hour...bumped my head on the steering wheel a few times

Yep, that stuff that seemed so great at the time looks pretty dodgy in hindsight!

[soundofmusic]

Yep, that stuff that seemed so great at the time looks pretty dodgy in hindsight!

Ah, but all the smile they give me in my dotage are worth it

[prendrelemick]

Fortuantely, I was never the one driving; I don't know if it's true, but I hear men have better hand:eye coordination. I was always dating fellows that wanted to try athetics at 80 miles an hour...bumped my head on the steering wheel a few times

While driving down the M1 last year, Mrs P's lipstick rolled across the top of the dash and dropped into my footwell. (Why do they feel the need to touch up their face every 5 mins) I'm sure you've guessed the rest, as she was struggling to retrieve it, a coach full of the recently pubescent drew along side, a friendly group, grinning, cheering and waving as they slowly slid by. It was at least 20 mins before she felt the need to apply any more blusher I can tell you. I sighed wistfully and said it reminded me of the old days. A stoney silence ensued for the rest of the journey.

[The Atheist]

Classic!

[The Atheist]

Midwinter in Auckland, but we're still getting reasonable weather - today it's around 16 deg and fine with no wind.

Apparently, this is what we can expect with global warming, so it isn't easy to sell carbon reduction around here!

A question for gentlemen to ponder:

Should we stockpile alcohol before the new 20% VAT comes into effect?

Apparently, we're down to only 126 cases of scotch and 483 of champagne.

[dafydd manton]

I've tried stockpiling as much as I can, but I'm starting to feel a bit sick now, and I've had to wander upstairs 17 times in the last half hour. Itsh gettin' ekshtrmly dffictl now, but i'M doin' me besht. Pleasshe advizhe if i'm doin' thish proply. I love you, you're my besht mate.....

[soundofmusic]

While driving down the M1 last year, Mrs P's lipstick rolled across the top of the dash and dropped into my footwell. (Why do they feel the need to touch up their face every 5 mins) I'm sure you've guessed the rest, as she was struggling to retrieve it, a coach full of the recently pubescent drew along side, a friendly group, grinning, cheering and waving as they slowly slid by. It was at least 20 mins before she felt the need to apply any more blusher I can tell you. I sighed wistfully and said it reminded me of the old days. A stoney silence ensued for the rest of the journey.

Perhaps Mrs. P hasn't reached her dotage where she sheds a tear for those by-gone days. It's a funny thing, though, when I look back, it seems that the air always smelled sweet, the young men never had dirty socks or bad breath....
maybe that's the thing that gets us when we are old: sharpened senses

Midwinter in Auckland, but we're still getting reasonable weather - today it's around 16 deg and fine with no wind.

Apparently, this is what we can expect with global warming, so it isn't easy to sell carbon reduction around here!

A question for gentlemen to ponder:

Should we stockpile alcohol before the new 20% VAT comes into effect?

Apparently, we're down to only 126 cases of scotch and 483 of champagne.

It is the beginning of summer here, my a/c is broken in the car and my driving arm is 3 shades darker than the other. You can feel the sun penetrate through the cotton clothes and melts you to your whities...
Tell Parker to double the rations; me and Gilliatt are sneaking past the border.

I've tried stockpiling as much as I can, but I'm starting to feel a bit sick now, and I've had to wander upstairs 17 times in the last half hour. Itsh gettin' ekshtrmly dffictl now, but i'M doin' me besht. Pleasshe advizhe if i'm doin' thish proply. I love you, you're my besht mate.....

Dafydd love, I'm not sure, but I think part of your supply just splashed on the stairs

[dafydd manton]

nah, nah, thatsh the cat....jusht trippt over the shtupid ****zzzzzzzzzzz

[Paulclem]

While driving down the M1 last year, Mrs P's lipstick rolled across the top of the dash and dropped into my footwell. (Why do they feel the need to touch up their face every 5 mins) I'm sure you've guessed the rest, as she was struggling to retrieve it, a coach full of the recently pubescent drew along side, a friendly group, grinning, cheering and waving as they slowly slid by. It was at least 20 mins before she felt the need to apply any more blusher I can tell you. I sighed wistfully and said it reminded me of the old days. A stoney silence ensued for the rest of the journey.

Superb

I was once on a rugby trip to Lancashire when the coach passed a car on the inside lane with the bloke who played George Roper in The Liver birds and George and Mildred. We had a really good coach driver - Barry - who kept us neck and neck with the poor fellow for the next 5 minutes. I bet he'd never seen so many hairy grins pressed up against the bus bus window before.

[The Atheist]

I've tried stockpiling as much as I can, but I'm starting to feel a bit sick now, and I've had to wander upstairs 17 times in the last half hour. Itsh gettin' ekshtrmly dffictl now, but i'M doin' me besht. Pleasshe advizhe if i'm doin' thish proply. I love you, you're my besht mate.....

Ummm, stockpiling doesn't mean drinking it all at once!

It is the beginning of summer here, my a/c is broken in the car and my driving arm is 3 shades darker than the other.

Yeah, I get that in summer if I drive around a lot. Looks bloody funny!

I was once on a rugby trip to Lancashire when the coach passed a car on the inside lane with the bloke who played George Roper in The Liver birds and George and Mildred. We had a really good coach driver - Barry - who kept us neck and neck with the poor fellow for the next 5 minutes. I bet he'd never seen so many hairy grins pressed up against the bus bus window before.

George & Mildred, that's going back some!

The other program wasn't The Liver Birds, but the one with Gilbert O'Sullivan and the two chicky flatmates - one an amazing blonde that I recall very well!

[stlukesguild]

Summer here in the US. Closing in on warm and excessively humid. We had our first cook out of the year. A belated Father's Day: steaks and burgers on the grill... just finished off an interesting banana bread beer and moving on to my personal favorite: Samuel Smith Imperial Stout... a classic Miles disc blaring:



Miles, Jeanne Moreau, and Sam Smith... what could be finer?

[stlukesguild]

On to the third Sam Smith and the third Miles disc... the immortal:

[The Atheist]

On to the third Sam Smith and the third Miles disc... the immortal:

Yep, you can play that all day - fantastic stuff.