Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[prendrelemick]

I used to play rugby with a bloke who was in his fifties. He was a window cleaner, lugging his ladders around the town every day. Mind you, he did often give you a hospital pass on the pitch. Great bloke though.

They were demolishing a mill in town, and I had my eye on a stone gate post they had pulled up. I went to see the forman and asked if I could have it.
He thought he'd be funny and said I could have it if I could lift it.
I said, I can't, but I know a man who can. So we agreed If I could find a man to lift it I could have it for a fiver.

I went to get Jeff, a labourer who was working near by, he was a small bandy legged man in his early sixties. I had seen Jeff pick up a large motor bike and throw it over a 5 ft wall, followed by its rider- road rage jeff style

Its always good to watch an expert at work, He circled the post, looking at it from all angles (it was bigger than he was) and stretching his arms and back. The demolition crew came to watch, the forman thought it was a wind-up and kept saying "give over, ee'll never do it".

He stood astride the narrow end, bent down, took a firm grip and straightened up, then made a smooth transition from lifting to pushing untill in one swift movement the stone was upright. Then he gripped it in a bear hug, and lifted it a couple of inches off the ground. Everyone was gobsmacked. I'll admit so was I.

I backed up my landy and got four of the lads to help load it - we struggled - gave the foreman a fiver, and jeff a tenner and drove off.

The last I heard of Jeff, he'd been to the Phillipines and got himself a much younger bride.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Get yourself one of these, Sounds. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uPxS3_YFUY

Now that's a mower!
Plus you are shielded from all the snake and gator guts and hide you'll be shredding up!

They were demolishing a mill in town, and I had my eye on a stone gate post they had pulled up...
...I went to get Jeff, a labourer who was working near by, he was a small bandy legged man in his early sixties. I had seen Jeff pick up a large motor bike and throw it over a 5 ft wall, followed by its rider- road rage jeff style

...Everyone was gobsmacked. I'll admit so was I.

...The last I heard of Jeff, he'd been to the Phillipines and got himself a much younger bride.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvTQW...eature=related

Great yarn Prendrelemick !!
"Gobsmacked" ? - I'll have to remember that one.

Gilliatt

[Paulclem]

They were demolishing a mill in town, and I had my eye on a stone gate post they had pulled up. I went to see the forman and asked if I could have it.
He thought he'd be funny and said I could have it if I could lift it.
I said, I can't, but I know a man who can. So we agreed If I could find a man to lift it I could have it for a fiver.

I went to get Jeff, a labourer who was working near by, he was a small bandy legged man in his early sixties. I had seen Jeff pick up a large motor bike and throw it over a 5 ft wall, followed by its rider- road rage jeff style

Its always good to watch an expert at work, He circled the post, looking at it from all angles (it was bigger than he was) and stretching his arms and back. The demolition crew came to watch, the forman thought it was a wind-up and kept saying "give over, ee'll never do it".

He stood astride the narrow end, bent down, took a firm grip and straightened up, then made a smooth transition from lifting to pushing untill in one swift movement the stone was upright. Then he gripped it in a bear hug, and lifted it a couple of inches off the ground. Everyone was gobsmacked. I'll admit so was I.

I backed up my landy and got four of the lads to help load it - we struggled - gave the foreman a fiver, and jeff a tenner and drove off.

The last I heard of Jeff, he'd been to the Phillipines and got himself a much younger bride.

Great story.

[The Atheist]

They were demolishing a mill in town, and I had my eye on a stone gate post they had pulled up. I went to see the forman and asked if I could have it.

Brilliant!

[soundofmusic]

Oh god no. I'd been sowing like a Cornish market gardener since my teens, but I think 30 is the peak of maleness - by that age, if we are ever going to be grown up, we are by then; it is when we are at the peak of physical strength - take a look at weightlifters, boxers and strength sports, they are dominated by 30-ish blokes. Sexually, at an absolute peak, and if you've trained properly, you have no gaps in your knowledge and can go all night, every night, and most of the day inbetween!


Something small and personal, made, not bought.

A plain cardboard card with a pressed petal and a love note from you.



Never. I don't buy gifts for non-children.

I did hand-carve Mrs Atheist a heart with a poem once.



Yeah, lanmowers!

I love mowers - I used to mow lawns for a living, which is why I was so damned fit at 30.



I have a mower that turns rainforest into lawn in three months.

Anything bigger'n 12" in diameter, you still need a chainsaw, but gorse, shrubs, trees under a foot thick, fenceposts, dogs, sheep, branches, telephone poles, the mighty Victa just mulches them up. Stephen King eat your heart out!

I think women are best looking at 15-18; oddly enough, our sexual peak hits us at 45...does't seem quite fair, does it
Does Mrs Atheist buy her own presents? I actually sometimes prefered buying my own gifts: the first Mr Sounds always went to the 50% off table: I became the proud possessor of a negligee with cigarette burns and a rabbit with an inner ear disorder: he hopped two or three times before rolling on his back The 2nd Mr Sounds always bought practical things; but ladies always buy themselves practical things, I wanted things I would be to guilty to buy for myself!
I had been keeping rechargable electric mowers and weedwackers; but they just don't have the power of gas. Though, it is sometimes difficult to get the pull rope gas models started

Get yourself one of these, Sounds. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uPxS3_YFUY

Plus a Ghetto-blaster (are they still called that?) for the macho soundtrack.

That is just beautiful I do sometimes have a little trouble steering; I wonder if my neighbor would notice if I ran over his 8 foot fence and the pack of roosters behind them. He's been a bit edgy since one of my tree branches took out half of his house

They were demolishing a mill in town, and I had my eye on a stone gate post they had pulled up. I went to see the forman and asked if I could have it.
He thought he'd be funny and said I could have it if I could lift it.
I said, I can't, but I know a man who can. So we agreed If I could find a man to lift it I could have it for a fiver.

I went to get Jeff, a labourer who was working near by, he was a small bandy legged man in his early sixties. I had seen Jeff pick up a large motor bike and throw it over a 5 ft wall, followed by its rider- road rage jeff style

Its always good to watch an expert at work, He circled the post, looking at it from all angles (it was bigger than he was) and stretching his arms and back. The demolition crew came to watch, the forman thought it was a wind-up and kept saying "give over, ee'll never do it".

He stood astride the narrow end, bent down, took a firm grip and straightened up, then made a smooth transition from lifting to pushing untill in one swift movement the stone was upright. Then he gripped it in a bear hug, and lifted it a couple of inches off the ground. Everyone was gobsmacked. I'll admit so was I.

I backed up my landy and got four of the lads to help load it - we struggled - gave the foreman a fiver, and jeff a tenner and drove off.

The last I heard of Jeff, he'd been to the Phillipines and got himself a much younger bride.

I've noticed that alot of those strong old fellows have young women; but I can't decide if they have young women because they are strong or they are strong because they have young women

[prendrelemick]

I wonder if he diminished after marriage! A younger bride can sap a man's strengh, so I hear.

There are loads of Jeff stories, he was a local legend.

[soundofmusic]

I wonder if he diminished after marriage! A younger bride can sap a man's strengh, so I hear.

There are loads of Jeff stories, he was a local legend.

About two and a half years after becoming a widow, I dated a man some 20 years my junior. For 6 months, I felt like a god: I didn't have to sleep, ran on almost no food... My body's still trying to recover

[The Atheist]

I think women are best looking at 15-18; oddly enough, our sexual peak hits us at 45...does't seem quite fair, does it

Sounds good to me.

Rhonda's got 5 years to go, so it's something to look forward to!

Does Mrs Atheist buy her own presents?

We just don't do presents.

I actually sometimes prefered buying my own gifts: the first Mr Sounds always went to the 50% off table:

There are loads of Jeff stories, he was a local legend.

Love yokel stories.

We keep ours out in the western suburbs of Auckland. I have a strange friendship with one of them. He's 5'6" and probably weighs 60kg soaking wet.

Some years ago, three bikies decided to give him a beating - three big, hairy, tough guys.

He beat the living crap out of them. It's one of those stories that just about everyone in West Auckland grows up with it as a metaphor for misjudging your opponent.

About two and a half years after becoming a widow, I dated a man some 20 years my junior. For 6 months, I felt like a god: I didn't have to sleep, ran on almost no food... My body's still trying to recover

Yeah, I used to find that all-nighters have the effect of keeping you awake no problem the next day.

[soundofmusic]

Sounds good to me.

Rhonda's got 5 years to go, so it's something to look forward to!

We just don't do presents.

Yeah, I used to find that all-nighters have the effect of keeping you awake no problem the next day.

You're a brave man Hopefully, 55 won't do to you what it has done to me...It's like gravity hit all at once. I'm actually taking naps midday

The first Mr Sounds always "went all out" at Christmas; it took us 2 months to recap our losses. I was rather disappointed 2 years after our marriage, when he decided to join a church that didn't do holidays...
There was the benefit that my mother-in-law stayed mad at us for the next 2 years.
Ah yes, the all nighters just made you look foward to the morning

[prendrelemick]

"Send for Jeff" or "This is a real Jeff job," was our mantra whenever we came across a tough job. They just don't make 'em like that anymore.



Unfortunately, with dodgy hips, sore knees and stiff backs, once you hit 50 the "dance of love" becomes more about practicality than eroticism.

[soundofmusic]

Unfortunately, with dodgy hips, sore knees and stiff backs, once you hit 50 the "dance of love" becomes more about practicality than eroticism.

Isn't that the truth. Fortunately, by 50, we have found, in every aspect of life, the most efficient way to a accomplish things with minimum effort
(I threw out that "positions chart" after 30)

[The Atheist]

Well, there is an easy cure for all those problems - marry a much younger gymnast.

[soundofmusic]

Well, there is an easy cure for all those problems - marry a much younger gymnast.

I think I might have to have a relationship, on the side, with a massage therapist if I was married to a gymnast

[The Atheist]

Ever wonder why a therapist is The Rapist?

[soundofmusic]

Ever wonder why a therapist is The Rapist?

NO, do tell