10 Things We Didn't Know This Time Last Week

[cgrillo]

2. The world's oldest hot cross bun is 189 today.

Wow - happy birthday to the hot cross bun.

That'll take a lot of candles...

[Virgil]

Wow, am I behind. I'll attempt a retort to a selected few from each week.

1. The average life of a web page these days is apparently somewhere between 44 and 77 days.
More details

Hmm, sounds like the life of a fly.

4. A piconewton is a millionth of the force that a grain of salt exerts when resting on a tabletop.

Having bad breath probably has more force that a piconewton.

7. Elephants growl.

If you had their sinuses, you would too.

8. Johnny Cash's Guess Things Happen That Way was the 10 billionth track to be sold on iTunes.

I guess it happened that way.

9. The types of lasers that remove tattoos can also be used to clean up works of art.

First, you can't be the smartest person in the world to get a tattoo, but burning it off with a laser isn't exactly all that brilliant a thing to do either.

10. Recent snow has left the UK's roads riddled with 1.6 million new potholes.

Seriously, you should see the pot holes we have. I've never seen it so bad.

1. A parrot can be repossessed.

Yeah, but don't take his cracker away or he'll peck your eyes out.

2. Germans call chickenpox windpox, due to the speed with which it spreads.

Hmm, we call windpox that breaking of wind from one's behind.

3. Chickenpox is not referred to in medical literature before the 17th Century but it is thought to be an ancient condition whose name springs from the fact that the blisters resemble chick peas.

I thought chickenpox was the original bird flu.

4. Some chickens are half-male and half-female.

Some humans too.

5. The largest meat-eating plant in the world likes to eat the droppings of tree shrews and rats, rather than tree shrews and rats themselves.

Yummy, tastes like spam.

9. The world's first sleeping bag was patented in 1876, and called an Euklisia rug.

Snug as a bug in a rug.

10. Soldiers in Afghanistan use concrete mixers to wash their clothes.

Talk about body armor.

1. Plastic surgeons in the US are doing lip grafts using muscle from the neck to make lips fuller.

Now, who thought of that? Can you imagine sitting around brain storming, trying to figure out where to take flesh to make the lips fuller? I would have thought the anus.

3. The mafia use Facebook.

No way. Probably more likely to break your face with a book than to use Facebook.

6. A "labile" vitamin means it is easily destroyed.

Hmm, sounds like one of those gynecologist words.

9. Fried tarantula tastes like liver.

Now who was sick enough to taste a fried tarantula?

1. Eighty-two million people play Farmville.

Including my wife.

2. The name "scrumpy" comes from a word meaning small and shrivelled.

Better than being called scummy.

4. In The Wizard of Oz, Toto was played by a dog called Terry.

And he was smarter than the scarecrow.

5. Pine that is grown in a cold climate has greater durability.

Hmm, that is actually very interesting.

7. The world's most complex mathematical problem is called the Poincare Conjecture.

Sounds like a TV show that was cancelled.

9. Teachers sometimes get lavish gifts from their pupils like a Tiffany bracelet.

That's the price of the local bribe to pass the class.

1. The heat of a chilli pepper is measured on the Scoville Scale.

That's the scale of the intensity of the burn in the colon as it comes out six hours later.

2. The world's oldest hot cross bun is 189 today.

And still edible.

3. The world record for sitting in a room with snakes without being bitten is 113 days.

Now there is an interesting stat. Why would anyone sit in a room that long even without snakes? And what were the sankes eating for those 113 days?

4. Fish, rodents and snakes can predict earthquakes.

Seems like every creature but man can predict earthquakes. What is it, God didn't want us to survive them?

5. The classic 45-second shower scene in Psycho took a week to film.

They had to sharpen that knife several times during the week.

6. Britain's oldest-known new father is 76.

Dirty old lech.

7. The average person tells four lies a day.

I never lie, I swear.

9. Ordained priests can work in supermarkets.

Talk about a life of poverty.

10. Gossip spreads as rapidly as flu.

Yeah, I'm still laughing over using the anus for lips by plastic surgeons.

[Scheherazade]

Now, who thought of that? Can you imagine sitting around brain storming, trying to figure out where to take flesh to make the lips fuller? I would have thought the anus.

Depends on out of which part of his anatomy the person tends to speak, I guess.

[Paulclem]

Depends on out of which part of his anatomy the person tends to speak, I guess.

[Scheherazade]

1. Marriage over the telephone is valid under Islamic law.

2. Salmonella can build up on bird feeders and then spread among birds.

3. Bebo stands for blog early, blog often.

4. Capuchin monkeys were named because of their resemblance to the Catholic friars.

5. MPs' parliamentary gym memberships are cancelled during the election campaign.

6. Wombats produce cube-shaped dung.

7. The home computer was invented by a man called Dr Henry Edward Roberts.

8. Cillit Bang is called Cillit Bam in New Zealand.

9. Bodies repatriated to a home country from the UK must be encased in zinc-lined coffins.

10. Insect museums are called insectariums.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_130.shtml

[Aravona]

5. MPs' parliamentary gym memberships are cancelled during the election campaign.

6. Wombats produce cube-shaped dung.

These two had just made my day.

Firstly, I didnt think most MPs know what a gym is...

Secondly... thats gotta be one strange sensation, cubed dung! My day is definately looking better now

[Scheherazade]

1. In America, 30% of teenagers send more than 100 texts a day.

2. Gaza has a surf club.

3. Migalki is a type of siren which allows some Russian officials and business to bypass regulations so they can get through traffic jams.

4.US President Barack Obama has played golf 32 times since taking office, beating George W Bush's record.

5. Male long tailed slugs make "love darts" from calcium minerals and use them to inject hormones into females.

6. Babies born in autumn or winter are more likely to develop a food allergy than those born in spring or summer.

7. In the 13th century, the Chinese used covered sewage tanks to generate power.

8.2 metre-long sea-scorpions used to roam the coast of North East Fife

9.US President George Washington failed to return a library book. It's now racked up a $300,000 fine.

10. Children who address important issues with their fathers are less likely to smoke.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_132.shtml

[Scheherazade]

1. There are vending machines that sell hot chips.

2. Burning oil is one way of controlling a spill.

3. A lot of people are still using floppy disks.

4. Chocolate doesn't always make you happy.

5. In Japan, burahara is the harassment of people because of their blood group.

6. Chimpanzees deal with death in a similar way to humans.

7. Some ready-meal curries are saltier than seawater.

8. There are surgeons who specialise in restoring virginity.

9. Stephen Hawking thinks aliens exist.

10. Storks can go blue.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_133.shtml

[Revolte]

8. There are surgeons who specialise in restoring virginity.

your kidding me..... why would any women want to go through that again? lol.

[Hurricane]

your kidding me..... why would any women want to go through that again? lol.

I've heard of it as a way for women who are members of a religion that forbids sex before marriage to avoid being stigmatized. Kind of messed up stuff, actually.

[cgrillo]

9. Stephen Hawking thinks aliens exist.

Hm. He always struck me as the sort that wouldn't believe in aliens - but I'm sure he has some really confusing theory that detracts from the whole 'little green men' sort of thing. I've read A Brief History of Time, so he's confused me many times before.

[applepie]

3. A lot of people are still using floppy disks.

Heavens why???? Do they even make floppy disks or computers with them any more?

4. Chocolate doesn't always make you happy.

You're not eating the right chocolate then

[Basil]

6. Chimpanzees deal with death in a similar way to humans.

Chimps drink bourbon?

[Scheherazade]

Chimps drink bourbon?

What a ridiculous idea, Basil!

Where are they supposed to get the ice from in the jungle?

[Virgil]

1. Marriage over the telephone is valid under Islamic law.

What if you got the wrong number? What if she passes the phone over to the ugly sister?

2. Salmonella can build up on bird feeders and then spread among birds.

Well, birds aren't excluded from vomiting either.

3. Bebo stands for blog early, blog often.

Sounds like Dark Muse here on Lit Net.

4. Capuchin monkeys were named because of their resemblance to the Catholic friars.

And here i thought they were praying for evolution to hurry up.

5. MPs' parliamentary gym memberships are cancelled during the election campaign.

Now there's a way to punish politicians, take away their exercise.

6. Wombats produce cube-shaped dung.

Sounds like their colon is like a pasta making machine.

7. The home computer was invented by a man called Dr Henry Edward Roberts.

So that is the S-0-B responsible for sucking away all my free time.

8. Cillit Bang is called Cillit Bam in New Zealand.

Better than being called Clitoris Bang.

9. Bodies repatriated to a home country from the UK must be encased in zinc-lined coffins.

What's the matter, you Brits don't want to smell the encasings.

10. Insect museums are called insectariums.

Sort of like masoleums for cockaroaches.

1. In America, 30% of teenagers send more than 100 texts a day.

And you would think they are literate. Have you seen some of their messages? "C u wen da clss n's."

2. Gaza has a surf club.

That's called their Navy.

3. Migalki is a type of siren which allows some Russian officials and business to bypass regulations so they can get through traffic jams.

Yeah, I bet it's all part of their corruption.

4.US President Barack Obama has played golf 32 times since taking office, beating George W Bush's record.

Actually I don't think Bush had the record. I think that should have said Obama in one year exceeded the number of times Bush had golfed in all of his eight years. I couldn't track down the statistic, but I seem to recall Eisenhower played the most golf while in office.

5. Male long tailed slugs make "love darts" from calcium minerals and use them to inject hormones into females.

Sounds rather sexy. Are you sure you can say that on Lit Net.

6. Babies born in autumn or winter are more likely to develop a food allergy than those born in spring or summer.

Well, it must depend on which day of the year they were concived.

7. In the 13th century, the Chinese used covered sewage tanks to generate power.

And what is different in the 21st century?

8.2 metre-long sea-scorpions used to roam the coast of North East Fife

And that is why the residents of North East Fife now abhor sea food.

9.US President George Washington failed to return a library book. It's now racked up a $300,000 fine.

Yeah, and just try to collect.

10. Children who address important issues with their fathers are less likely to smoke.

I completely believe that. Who says fatherhood is obsolete. Fathers establish right and wrong through their actions and values. Take that feminists.

1. There are vending machines that sell hot chips.

Hopefully they are not cow chips.

2. Burning oil is one way of controlling a spill.

Yes it is sad but necessary.

3. A lot of people are still using floppy disks.

They are called old men and their members are should not be referred to as floppy.

4. Chocolate doesn't always make you happy.

Oh just test me.

5. In Japan, burahara is the harassment of people because of their blood group.

You mean there is prejudice against B+ types? Shame on them. i thought we were over such petty racism.

6. Chimpanzees deal with death in a similar way to humans.

I've never been to a chimp funeral parlor.

7. Some ready-meal curries are saltier than seawater.

And some are against the fire department codes of flame temperature.

8. There are surgeons who specialise in restoring virginity.

Yes, their method is to have sex with them and wollah, you are magically a virgin.

9. Stephen Hawking thinks aliens exist.

I always though Steven Hawking was an alien.

10. Storks can go blue.

And pink for girls.