*The Comedian walks in, blindfolded, so as to maintain the modesty of all involved*
So I ask my wife, "Is there anything you want for Christmas?"
She replies: "You don't need to get me anything".
Could any of you translate her reply from "female" into "male"?
Thanks!
“Oh crap”
-- Hellboy
Sure, Comedian. no problem, though a lot depends on tone of voice in the actual exchange.
1 You have a lot to think about right now - don't waste your valuable time thinking up something for me.(Careful here - there might be a hint of irony or worse still, sarcasm, in this interpretation...)
2 Look, I know funds are low - just a nominal little something will do.
3 How long have we been together? And you still don't know the sort of thing that will surprise and delight me?? Which leads to:
4 If I tell you, it won't surprise and delight me on The Day.
5 Any little thing that shows you have been taking note of my most casual remark, one that even I have forgotten making, that you have been cherishing to yourself to give me a wonderful surprise when I open it - it's not the content of the gift that matters, it's the fact that you marked and remembered my passing thought.... This could carry the hidden implication '...which clearly you have not done.' And this in turn leads to:
6 What's happened to the time you could read my mind? Aren't we in tune anymore?
7 That question should have read: What would you like for Christmas? (which makes it sound as if you are pampering me and spoiling me by granting my every whim) not What do you want for Christmas? (which makes me sound like a whining, demanding child.)
There are no doubt many other interpretations - personally, I'd go for a combination of 2 and 5. Cultivate the secret, even smug, smile that says 'I was only asking for form's sake - I know just what will please you, my lady...' and make sure you present her with something she would not indulge in for herself, beautifully wrapped, of course.
Easy, isn't it? You make it sound as if we were speaking a different language, or from a different planet. Tsk, men....
Peppermint Mocha Latte????Originally Posted by Shalot
they dont have that one here! no fair! We've Gingerbread Latte, Darck Cherry Mocha and a Toffee Nut Latte but no Peppermint one! fancy sending some my way? I'll love you for ever and ever!
"Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
W.B.Yeats
"If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer
my poems-please comment Forum Rules
omigod, when did it become okay to say a*s*s on litnet?
man, I sound like dumbass pretty much all the time, not just in the salon. What's really dumbass is the hair product "prescription." That just irritates me. I don't know if anyone else has ever encountered a hair products "prescription" but the place I've been going to (for their reasonably priced quality services) has printed out a prescription pad for their stylists to use...oh it's the stupidest thing. the hair stylists take out this little pad and write down what they used on my hair and then they present me with the prescription. If I were a hair stylist, I would feel stupid doing that.
Anyone else here ever receive a "prescription" for hair care products?
Oh goodness, I've never heard of a hair prescription before. Is this an Aveda Salon?
I agree, 2 and 5 combo.
Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda
The female version is always the direct opposite of the male counterpart.
Translation: You really have to get me something...I ain't telling. Go figure it out!
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
No not Aveda. But if I recall, the Aveda place I went to always pushed products but the girl who did my hair managed to do it in such a way that I didn't feel pressured. I still ended up buying shampoo from her, and I ended up liking what I got so it wasn't totally horrible. She did have to write it down for me on a card, but it didn't say "prescription" on it.
Really? No peppermint mocha??? that is so unfair. but that Dark Cherry Mocha sounds really good and we don't have that. I'll trade you. We do have the Gingerbread Latte and I'm not a fan. I'm not sure on the Toffee Nut though.Peppermint Mocha Latte????
"...if you weren't smart enough to get a pedophile in a dress to put a small amount of water on the child’s forehead, then what the eff did you think was going to happen?
My local Starbucks was advertising Egg Nog Latte yesterday so, remembering another thread here, I ordered one. (You see how influenced I am by what is posted here?) Alas, the lady apologised, I don't have that flavour. But you have it heavily advertised. Yes, but the flavouring hasn't arrived yet. Oh - disappointed - well, what do you recommend? How about the Dark Cherry Mocha, is that nice? Hmm, I'd go for the Toffee Nut myself, it's yummy. So I did - and it is. But I didn't see Peppermint.
Sadly that could be my last trip to that particular Starbucks - it's upstairs in Borders and there's talk of Borders closing.
*shouts from outside the thread* Wow -- I need to read more Jane Austen to get a better handle on it. This women's talk is complicated stuff.
Thanks a bunch for the advice. Now if only I'd paid attention earlier. . . .
“Oh crap”
-- Hellboy
Deal!!!I'm not sure about the Toffee nut one either.
the Eggnog Latte is to die for!
"Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
W.B.Yeats
"If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer
my poems-please comment Forum Rules
I'm slightly offended by the "different sense of distance" but I'm kinda intrigued by the whole thing:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8432887.stm
A shopping centre in China's Hebei province has built a car park with wider spaces that it says is designed especially to suit women drivers.
The women-only car park in Shijiazhuang city is also painted in pink and light purple to appeal to female tastes.
Official Wang Zheng told AFP news agency the car park was meant to cater to women's "strong sense of colour and different sense of distance".
The parking bays are one metre (3ft) wider than normal spaces, he said.
The Wanxiang-Tiancheng shopping centre had also "installed signs and security monitoring equipment that corresponded more to women's needs", he said.
Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda
I see they have the same problem in China.And they are not politically correct to admit it.
LET THERE BE LIGHT
"Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena
My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/
Now this is an unusual change; the gentleman have left their caves to visit our "curtain trimmed, chaise lounged domains...I hope Comedian brought us some orchids and beer...What has Virgil come to the coffee house with...something more concrete than enlightened conversation? Perhaps wrapped in a great bow, a belated Christmas gift
:.What has Virgil come to the coffee house with...something more concrete than enlightened conversation? Perhaps wrapped in a great bow, a belated Christmas gift
LET THERE BE LIGHT
"Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena
My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/
That is wonderful, I love Fred, Ginger and Nat........Thank you, Virgil
So, what did you get your wife, Comedian?
I love my new vacuum!!!!! Love it!!!! It's a little heavy but I just can't help looking at my floors and smiling.
Somebody quick - Are my ovaries showing?
Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda
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