I'd get rid of all three of them, like Mathor said.
But I don't think I'd bother to explain to them why you're getting rid of them. I mean, would you believe them if they promised to change?
I'd get rid of all three of them, like Mathor said.
But I don't think I'd bother to explain to them why you're getting rid of them. I mean, would you believe them if they promised to change?
I presented that option, because in actuality, whoever wrote that likely wouldn't follow the advice of getting rid of all three. Most people want to hold on to things like that. It's what makes human beings pretty silly.Originally Posted by SleepyWitch
I'm losing all those stupid games
That I swore I'd never play
yes, I know. I'm not sure I'd be able to follow my own advice
can I add that I wouldn't waste any time on the guy who sometimes talks to her and sometimes ignores her. I know this kind of guy, although in my case it was someone I wanted to be friends with, not someone I fancied. This kind of guy will make you feel like there's something wrong with you, because you can never do the right thing. If you talk to them, they'll ignore you next time. If you don't talk to them, they'll mope and feel neglected (although they probably won't admit it). Whatever you do is wrong. There's a word for this kind of guy and the word is JERK. It's nothing to do with being shy etc.
Think that ias a good idea, making it practical is also a easy one..
Yes, get rid of all of them and take a break from dating for a while until you meet someone you like.
From your post it sounds like you are interested in these guys simply because they have shown some kind of interest in you and you feel the need to pick one. It does not have to be so. We don't know how you actually feel about them.
So, I think you need a clean slate and wait for someone that really matters.
~
"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
Another letter:Here's my question.
A friend of mine, G, suddenly confessed her affection for me, telling me that's she's liked me for the last year but didn't make a move since I was attracted to another girl, K. While I was stunned at her confession, I impulsively asked her out.
Now, I'm a very shy girl, I've never even dated anyone before and I've had some issues with stalkers, harrasers and suchlike people. I really don't know how to act around others (since i usually socially isolate myself) and I obviously have no idea how to act around this girl. She's very smart and beautiful yet almost as insecure as i am and we're very good friends.
We're going to the movies on a date. Help me guys! How should I act? What should I do? I don't want to make an spectacle of myself or ruin our friendship, and while I'm still attracted to K, I'm curious to where a relationship with G may go. Advice?
~
"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
I believe you should carry on acting as friends as much as possible; just because it is a "date", it does not mean that you need to start behaving differently. Go out and have fun and, if there is chemistry between you guys, then the rest should follow naturally.
It is great that you like each other as friends so should be able to have a good time without forcing yourselves.
~
"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
What Scher said. Just be yourself if there's chemistry that's great but if not at least you gave it a try and go back to being friends.
Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda
We have another letter but considering the sensitivity of the issue, I would like everyone to respond in a suitable fashion and respect the feelings of the people involved.
Thank you:Following the death of a close family member couple of years ago, I started to think about my childhood a lot. I began to remember certain incidents that I had forgotten or to look at them differently. Now, I suspect that I might have been abused as a young child... Not by the family member who passed away but another very close one and this suspicion is really tearing me apart.
I desperately wish to get some answers but this person has always made very poor choices in life and is now leading a very unhappy life after losing everything (both emotionally and materialistically speaking). So, I am not sure what I would gain from a confrontation - apart from upsetting other family members and myself too because, I guess, this is one can of worms one can never close again.
Do you think I should still speak up and ask some questions or simply try to move on? How does one move on in a situation like this?
~
"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
My suggestion: see a therapist and tell them everything. It might make you feel lighter, and they can advise you better then we can on the course of action that you should take with the family member in question.
I really wouldn't keep this to yourself though. If it's already tearing you apart, then bad things could happen if you don't address it.
__________________
"Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So once when I was six, I did. At first the brightness was overwhelming, but I had seen that before. I kept looking, forcing myself not to blink, and then the brightness began to dissolve. My pupils shrunk to pinholes and everything came into focus and for a moment I understood. The doctors didn't know if my eyes would ever heal."
-Pi
I agree with Juniper. I think here are help-lines or charities that specialize in cases like yours, where the incident happened many years ago in their childhood and they are not sure what to do.
plus, the fact that this person is very unhappy now has nothing to do with it. that does not give them the right to abuse you.
Samaritans provide free confidential counselling over the phone. It might be a starting point.
~
"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
I agree with the others, you really should talk about it to someone and not just keep it all to yourself.
Little Lotte thought of everything and nothing. Her hair was golden as the sun's rays and her soul as clear and blue as her eyes.
Gaston Leroux - The Phantom of the Opera
You ask if you should move on, and how to move on in your situation. I can't give exact advice, because I never suffered what you have experienced, nor am I an expert in the field of abuse. However, I humbly believe that in order to move on you have to be settled with your past, meaning that if your past is a real burden then you should shake that burden off your back in some way, to the best possible. Spending all of your life running away from painful events instead of facing them will only add to the sadness you already feel, I believe. Of course I also believe you may benefit from professional advice. I wish you the best.
By the way, the fact that other relatives may feel upset by your questions doesn't oblige you to keep your mouth shut. It's not your problem what they feel. Your only problem should be what you feel, because you were the victim, and not them. In the same way, it's not the victims' concern if abusers lead unhappy lives and lose everything. Their misery doesn't entitle them to get free from their victims' reactions against what they did, even if it happened many years ago. Abusers have to pay for what they do, somehow, because they've got it coming.
Again, my humble opinion. Best of lucks.
Internet too.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm
__________________
"Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So once when I was six, I did. At first the brightness was overwhelming, but I had seen that before. I kept looking, forcing myself not to blink, and then the brightness began to dissolve. My pupils shrunk to pinholes and everything came into focus and for a moment I understood. The doctors didn't know if my eyes would ever heal."
-Pi
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