10 Things We Didn't Know This Time Last Week

[Basil]

Nah, I'd probably just take it in the backyard and set fire to it. That's actually how most of my relationships end.

[jocky]

Nah, I'd probably just take it in the backyard and set fire to it. That's actually how most of my relationships end.

That is so unfair; ' A thing of beauty is a joy forever ' Remember that tree had leaves at one time, it had D.N.A. it could have been a prince among trees, it could have supported birds, squirrels, insects and sasquatch. What time are you burning it I am freezing?

[Taliesin]

In Estonia, men who perform such acts with Christmas trees are traditionally poked to death with Christmas ornaments and no wonder - monstrous creatures who stalk the forests of Estonia even now are known to be born of such unnatural unions of man and tree. These creatures possess both the cunning, strength and allure of a Christmas tree and the intellect of a human - creatures even more dangerous than the ordinary Christmas-trees.
Fortunately, due to genetics, half-Christmas-trees cannot produce offspirng themselves, although they are unarguably sexy - even I, who I am not a treesexual can see it.
Basil, I don't know whether the creatures you engage in relationship with are real Christmas-trees or the halfbreeds(they can be uncannily similar to ordinary Christmas trees if they take after their wooden parent) and, being a liberal-minded European man, I do not condemn your lifestyle, but please, and I cannot stress this enough: use protection. For the sake of general and personal good.

[jocky]

In Estonia, men who perform such acts with Christmas trees are traditionally poked to death with Christmas ornaments and no wonder - monstrous creatures who stalk the forests of Estonia even now are known to be born of such unnatural unions of man and tree. These creatures possess both the cunning, strength and allure of a Christmas tree and the intellect of a human - creatures even more dangerous than the ordinary Christmas-trees.
Fortunately, due to genetics, half-Christmas-trees cannot produce offspirng themselves, although they are unarguably sexy - even I, who I am not a treesexual can see it.
Basil, I don't know whether the creatures you engage in relationship with are real Christmas-trees or the halfbreeds(they can be uncannily similar to ordinary Christmas trees if they take after their wooden parent) and, being a liberal-minded European man, I do not condemn your lifestyle, but please, and I cannot stress this enough: use protection. For the sake of general and personal good.

So you are not a treesexual, this is a new phenomenom which may branch out and take root. I believe half of this post, yes and that is the half that is patently untrue. ' God stand up for treesexuals '

[Scheherazade]

1. Mobile numbers 07700 900000 to 900999 are reserved for fictional numbers in TV and films.

2. Smoking first thing in the morning is worse for you than other times of the day regardless of the number of cigarettes smoked, US research shows.

3. There is one CCTV camera for every eight people in London.

4. The world's oceans are believed to absorb about half of the total carbon emissions from human activities.

5. Italian police have a Lamborghini patrol car worth 165,000-euro (£150,000).

6. Pubs in England pull about 10 million extra pints when the national football team plays in the World Cup.

7. Jane Austen probably died of TB - commonly caught from drinking infected milk - when she passed away aged 41.

8. Feet movements reveal who you are sexual attraction to.

9. The feet of the blue-footed booby, a bird which is native to the Galápagos Islands and Ecuador, get brighter in colour the less sex it has.

10. There are just four minarets on mosques in Switzerland.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...st_w_115.shtml

[Virgil]

1. Michael Jackson's iconic white glove is a modified golf glove.

He and Tiger Woods must have been on double dates.

2. To be a Beefeater you have to have done 22 years military service.

I was eating beef at a pretty early age.

3. Seemingly vegetative patients are asked to think of playing tennis while being scanned for evidence of consciousness.

Well, there is a loss of consciousness when one is a vegtetarian too long.

4. The UK had its first curry restaurant in 1809.

And its first customer was William Wordsworth who wrote a sonnet on it:

The curry is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our curry;
Little we see in curry that is ours;
We have given our curry away, a sordid boon!
This curry that bares her bosom to the moon,
The curry that will be howling at all hours...

His editor didn't like it and so had him change it to "The World is too much with us..."

5. The hamlet of Seathwaite in Borrowdale is, on average, the wettest inhabited place in England.

Isn't that the pissing spot outside the Borrowdale Pub.

6. All British infrastructure, including bridges, is designed to at least withstand the kind of flooding that would happen on average once every 200 years.

Hmm, of course they were designed in 1809 and so now you have a problem.

7. Hammerhead sharks can actually see rather well.

And what optomitrist is going to tell them otherwise?

8. And humans use their skin to "hear".

And what happens when you get a mole? Does one grow deaf?

9. Google will only remove images from its image search facility if legally ordered to do so.

Ooh, I bet they have lots of my birthday images searches for lit netters.

10. Christmas trees can be dangerous.

It's not exactly nutritious.

1. Mobile numbers 07700 900000 to 900999 are reserved for fictional numbers in TV and films.

And if I dial one will I get charged? It was fictional?

2. Smoking first thing in the morning is worse for you than other times of the day regardless of the number of cigarettes smoked, US research shows.

That is very interesting.

3. There is one CCTV camera for every eight people in London.

Shh. Don't let all the 1984 people hear that. They already see Big Brother everywhere.

4. The world's oceans are believed to absorb about half of the total carbon emissions from human activities.

Now that was very interesting. Here's a quote from the article:

Professor Watson said that it had been assumed that the amount of CO2 absorbed by the oceans remained constant.

"It had been assumed?" You mean that this has not been modeled correctly in those famous models that are predicting global warming? Does that support that global warming is a crock and flawed science? It does to me.

5. Italian police have a Lamborghini patrol car worth 165,000-euro (£150,000).

Oh, it's almost worth getting arrested just for a ride.

6. Pubs in England pull about 10 million extra pints when the national football team plays in the World Cup.

I guess they have to drown their sorrows somehow.

7. Jane Austen probably died of TB - commonly caught from drinking infected milk - when she passed away aged 41.

What a shame. Only 41. She hadn't even hit her peak yet.

8. Feet movements reveal who you are sexual attraction to.

Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the phrase my wife is a ball and chain.

9. The feet of the blue-footed booby, a bird which is native to the Galápagos Islands and Ecuador, get brighter in colour the less sex it has.

Hmm, kind of like my feet. You want to see how bright my feet are? They couldn't get any brighter.

[skib]

Virgil, I absolutely love your retorts! They're fantastic, and I do hope you keep it up!

[Virgil]

Thank you Skib. I really appreciate that.

[JuniperWoolf]

Nah, I'd probably just take it in the backyard and set fire to it. That's actually how most of my relationships end.

I hope that you just mean your relationships with old christmas trees.

[Basil]

I hope that you just mean your relationships with old christmas trees.

Ummm....yes. That IS what I meant.

Taliesin, your words of solidarity are very much appreciated.

[Basil]

...monstrous creatures who stalk the forests of Estonia even now are known to be born of such unnatural unions of man and tree. These creatures possess both the cunning, strength and allure of a Christmas tree and the intellect of a human - creatures even more dangerous than the ordinary Christmas-trees.
Fortunately, due to genetics, half-Christmas-trees cannot produce offspirng themselves, although they are unarguably sexy - even I, who I am not a treesexual can see it.

Yes, you can't deny they possess a certain slatternly appeal.

[Scheherazade]

Nah, I'd probably just take it in the backyard and set fire to it. That's actually how most of my relationships end.

Interesting.

I had put you down as a "chop-store-and-consume-as-and-when-needed" kind of a guy, actually.

[stephofthenight]

10. Some people eat goat and horse meat
9. If you fry your mothers microwave she will probably get pissed, especialy if she doesnt like what you are using it for.
8. It is not wise to microwave your lip rings, they are metal and make lovely blue, purple and green sparks before causing the microwave to go boom.
7. The capital of argentina is not San Juan
6. There are only 15 days left until Christmas
5. Not everyone appreciates house goats, even if they are potty trained
4. There are lots of educated Idiots in this world
3. Always back your computer up daily during finals, this way if your wonderful computer decides to crash you do not have to rewrite the paper that has taken you over a month again in 2 days.
2. Ups trucks do not have doors, and it gets VERRRY cold in them, you should so be nicer to the delivery guy/girl next time, its not as easy as it looks!
1. This is my 1,000 post YAY

[Taliesin]

Interesting.

I had put you down as a "chop-store-and-consume-as-and-when-needed" kind of a guy, actually.

Personal experience, Scher?

[Scheherazade]

Personal experience, Scher?

Do I sound like I have been chopped, stored and consumed as and when needed?

1. The Queen travels to Sandringham by scheduled train each Christmas.

2. The Moon has the coldest place in the Solar System measured by a spacecraft

3. About 3.8 million cheques were written in the UK every day last year.

4. Australian stingless bees immobilise intruding beetles by mummifying them in resin, wax and mud.

5. The Royal Mail's missed parcel cards are also known as "739" cards.

6. 748 million burgers are sold in the UK annually.

7. Women's touch is more sensitive than men's.

8. The Na'vi language spoken in James Cameron's new film Avatar took four years to write and develop.

9. Female spiders eat their mates despite them being nutritionally poor.

10. Milton Keynes central railway station appeared as a UN building in Superman IV.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinem...his_t_21.shtml